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Sunday, April 30, 2006

Immigrant Boycott 'Terrible'

New York Gov. George Pataki is blasting a nationwide boycott by illegal aliens planned for Monday, calling it a "terrible" idea.

"I think it's just terrible," Pataki told WABC Radio host Larry Kudlow on Saturday. "You don't take a demonstration to the streets for a political cause that's going to threaten our schools and close down businesses."

The New York Republican suggested that if illegal immigrants participate in a work boycott, they might be fired.

"They have to show up for work if they want to continue to have a job," he said. "There are far better ways to gain the support of the American people than shutting down businesses and looking to disrupt entire communities."

On the larger question of immigration reform, Pataki said that border enforcement should be the priority.

"First of all, clearly the most important thing is that we have to control our borders," he told WABC. "When the first act of tens of thousands of people coming to this country is to break the law, it just sends the wrong message" to grant illegals amnesty.

The New York governor, whose state has the fourth largest population of illegals, said national security is another top concern, explaining:

"You can never be secure if there are thousands of people crossing the border and you don't know who they are, why they're coming here, how long they're going to be here or where they're going to go."

Saturday, April 29, 2006

White House Must Regain 'Mojo'

It's time for the White House to go on offense and "get our mojo back." Josh Bolten said Sunday in his first interview since taking over as the president's chief of staff.

Bolten made no promises of pulling up President Bush's all-time low approval ratings, but he said he and Bush have decided they want to be more open with the media and the public.

"We've taken advice from a lot of folks that we ought to put the president out more in ways that the American people can see what he's really like," Bolten said on "Fox News Sunday."

But he said that does not mean the president's policies are going to get an overhaul. "I don't think we need to change, but we do need to refresh and re-energize," Bolten said.

For example, he said the White House is "thinking actively" about immigration and putting the president out front on an issue that has split him off from some in his own party. Bolten added that it is vital that the White House communicate effectively about the importance of the fight against terrorism so Americans will support the mission.

Bolten, Bush's former budget director, took over for longtime chief of staff Andy Card on April 14, amid administration tensions with Congress, waning public support for the president and calls for fresh ideas in the White House.

"What the change does provide is an opportunity for the White House to step back, refresh, re-energize at a time when we're 5 1/2 years into an administration — normally a slow point, a low point, in many administrations — and a chance for us to get our mojo back, to go back more on the offensive and to get people within the White House to look at our operations, re-energize them for the next six months up through the election, the next 1,000 days through the end of this president's term," Bolten said.

As part of his goal of changing the communications strategy, Bolten has replaced press secretary Scott McClellan with Fox News commentator Tony Snow. The move means that an experienced conservative television personality, who at times has been critical of the president, is the public face of the White House.

Bolten said it may be worth considering whether to end the daily televised press briefings where reporters and the press secretary frequently air disputes in front of the cameras, but he will leave that decision up to Snow.

"I think that will be Tony Snow's first test — to see what kind of power player he really is and whether he's able to establish the right kind of relationship with the press that we need going forward," Bolten said, appearing on the same show that Snow hosted for seven years.

On other staff changes, Bolten said Bush political aide Karl Rove remains an important voice on White House policy even though Bolten reassigned day-to-day oversight of policy to a new West Wing hire.

Bolten said Rove was not getting his wings clipped and that he is as engaged as ever despite his recent fifth appearance before a grand jury investigating the leak of classified material.

Bolten did not directly answer questions about whether Bush will replace Treasury Secretary John Snow.

"We're all serving at the pleasure of the president, and the president has full confidence in every member of his cabinet, including John Snow," Bolten said.

Bolten, who said Bush calls him "Yosh" and several other unrepeatable nicknames, said he has the benefit of experience with Bush and is prepared to deliver Bush bad news he may not want to hear sometimes.

"He doesn't necessarily change his mind, but there's no penalty internally for disagreeing with the group or with the president," Bolten said. "But I say internally, because he's very much a CEO, and when he makes a decision, then everybody within the White House should salute and get in line, at least publicly, with that decision."

Late Nite Jokes

Leno

California has the highest gas prices in the nation. Gas is so expensive, I saw Tom Cruise and Brooke Shields carpooling to daycare.

Right behind them, Connie Chung was carpooling with Maury's new girlfriend.

In fact, gas is so high, Today Arnold Schwarzenegger had his Hummer towed. He had gas in it. But the tow truck gets better mileage.

Arnold Schwarzenegger is blaming man for global warming. And today Al Gore agreed with him. That's so typical. Two cyborgs blaming the humans.

President Bush said that he wants to find alternative sources of energy. He says they are looking towards solar power. In fact, he and Rumsfeld are actually planning an invasion of the sun.

Earlier this week, President Bush introduced former Fox broadcaster Tony Snow as the new White House Press Secretary. This is a great example of wasteful government spending. Why is the president paying someone to join his staff and tow the party line when he was doing it on Fox for free?

According to the Oxford dictionary, the number of words in the English language has now surpassed one billion. No wait - I'm sorry - that's the number of people in the U.S. who don't speak any English.

In the latest videotape Osama said the Bush administration is evil, made up excuses to attack Iraq and is obsessed with Mid East oil. So basically, Osama has the same platform as Hillary.

Friday, April 28, 2006

Bush: Prospective Citizens Should Learn English

The national anthem should be sung in English - not Spanish - President Bush declared Friday, amid growing restlessness over the millions of immigrants here illegally.

"One of the things that's very important is, when we debate this issue, that we not lose our national soul," the president exclaimed. "One of the great things about America is that we've been able to take people from all walks of life bound as one nation under God. And that's the challenge ahead of us."

A Spanish language version of the national anthem was released Friday by a British music producer, Adam Kidron, who said he wanted to honor America's immigrants.

When the president was asked at a Rose Garden question-and-answer session whether the anthem should be sung in Spanish, he replied: "I think the national anthem ought to be sung in English, and I think people who want to be a citizen of this country ought to learn English and they ought to learn to sing the national anthem in English."

He made his remarks on the matters during a wide-ranging briefing with reporters.

"I think people who want to be citizens of this country ought to learn English," Bush said.

The president's comments came amid a burgeoning national debate - and congressional fight - over legislation pending in Congress, and pushed by Bush, to overhaul U.S. immigration law.

Bush called on lawmakers to move forward on legislation - now stalled - that would revamp immigration laws.

Late Nite Jokes

Leno

A senate panel has suggested that FEMA been done away with. In six to eight weeks when FEMA learns of this they are going to be upset!

Today was "take your sons and daughters to work day”. Or as they call it at Wal-Mart "even cheaper worker day”.

There’s been a relations breakdown between the United States and China – but enough about Maury Povich and Connie Chung.

Do you realize on Maury’s next show he could be the one saying, "I am the father!”

Conan

"People” magazine has released it’s "100 Most Beautiful People” issue. Kirstie Alley made the list. She takes up spots 36 through 54.

Thursday, April 27, 2006

Kerry 'Blowing in the Wind' on Turbines

Both sides in the bitter fight over a proposed Nantucket Sound wind farm are pressing hard as a showdown in Congress looms on a measure that could kill the project, but one key vote is still up for grabs: that of Sen. John Kerry, D-Mass.

Unlike the Bay State's other leading politicians, Kerry, a leading Senate voice on environmental causes, has yet to take a stand on the controversial plan to put 130 wind turbines off the Cape Cod coast.

"These are uncharted waters," said Kerry spokeswoman April Boyd on Wednesday. "We want to see the final environmental impact studies on the project. Those studies are still under way on this proposed first-in-the-nation project."

Gov. Mitt Romney, Sen. Edward M. Kennedy, and Cape Cod's congressman, U.S. Rep. William Delahunt, oppose the project. Only one of the five gubernatorial candidates supports the wind farm.

The proposal for the nation's first offshore wind farm has been under review by various federal and state agencies for nearly five years.

On Capitol Hill, an amendment targeting the Cape Wind Associates project was quietly slipped into the $8.7 billion Coast Guard reauthorization bill that could doom the wind farm. The measure was approved by a House-Senate conference committee earlier this month. It is unclear when the House and Senate will vote on the measure.

U.S. Sen. Ted Stevens, R-Alaska, was a key backer of the amendment. The measure gives veto power over the project to the governor of Massachusetts.

Kerry is still reviewing the bill and has not reached any decision.

"We're studying the conference report," Boyd said. "No vote has been scheduled yet."

The senator wants to allow the government review process to continue before deciding if he supports the wind farm, Boyd said.

Kerry's indecision stands in stark contrast to the stand of Kennedy, whose staunch opposition to Cape Wind has made him a lightning rod for environmental groups and other project backers.

Groups such as Greenpeace are attacking Kennedy's opposition to the project, running cartoon-style TV ads that mock the senior senator.

Kennedy has drawn particular scorn from project backers for making a personal appeal to the Republican Stevens in favor of the anti-Cape Wind amendment. Cape Wind backers are quick to note that Kennedy owns an oceanfront Cape Cod home and often sails on Nantucket Sound.

Kennedy, in a telephone interview with The Associated Press Wednesday, bristled at the charges, saying the state should have a strong say, not Cape Wind president Jim Gordon.

"People ought to be concerned with the back-room deal that was given to Cape Wind," Kennedy said. "(Gordon) has just looked to come in on a financial grab for 24 square miles of property."

Cape Wind benefited from a provision tucked into the sweeping energy bill Congress passed last summer that exempted the project from competitive bidding, Kennedy said. Cape Wind will also get about $280 million in government subsidies, he said.

"They won't have to bid for it," Kennedy said. "That is the real outrage. I'm not going to be quiet on this issue."

Cape Wind denied Kennedy's charges.

"There was no backroom deal with Cape Wind," said Cape Wind spokesman Mark Rodgers. "There was a provision to make sure Cape Wind wasn't penalized."

The energy bill provision reflected about $20 million in development work Cape Wind had already put into the project, Rodgers added.

The fight over Cape Wind, meanwhile, has intensified on Capitol Hill in recent weeks.

New Mexico Sen. Jeff Bingaman, the senior Democrat on the Energy and Natural Resources Committee and a renewable energy advocate, plans to oppose the measure on the Senate floor.

U.S. Sen. Joe Lieberman, D-Conn., has also voiced concern about the amendment.

On the House side, U.S. Rep. Charles Bass, R-N.H., has come out against the amendment, saying a Coast Guard bill should not be a vehicle for setting the nation's energy policy.

Because the Coast Guard bill was approved by a House-Senate conference panel, Cape Wind supporters will face difficulty stripping the amendment from the overall bill or altering it.

Late Nite Jokes

Leno

I had an interesting morning today. I went to Taco Bell and ordered a couple breakfast burritos. I wasn't really hungry. I just wanted to go to the last place in L.A. where you could get gas for under 3 bucks.

It's close to four dollars a gallon. This is like "revenge of the Amish." They got that smug little buggy thing.

You know gas is expensive when the guy behind the counter is wearing a ski-mask.

Give you an idea how expensive gas is, this morning I carpooled in with Letterman.

President Bush said this week to help with gas prices he will temporarily ease environmental regulations. Great. Not only will you not be able to drive, you won't be able to breathe either.

Republicans in congress are demanded that President Bush investigate whether the oil companies are engaging in price gouging. Putting the White House in charge of investigating the oil companies? Isn't that like putting Dick Cheney in charge of gun safety?

Immigration debate goes on, Senator Hillary Clinton says she wants a "smart wall" at the Mexican border...the only thing that can defeat these smart walls - smart Wal-Marts.

At the national portrait gallery in Washington, D.C. new portraits were unveiled of former President Clinton and First Lady Hillary Clinton. The Smithsonian said that the portraits of Bill and Hillary will not hang in the same room. Boy, talk about art reflecting life.

I'm surprised they did a portrait of Hillary. I thought maybe an ice sculpture would have been more appropriate.

"U.S. Weekly” reported Britney Spears is pregnant again. Good. Her baby boy will have someone to go to therapy with.

Wednesday, April 26, 2006

Clinton Nat'l Security Team Targets Curt Weldon

High-ranking members of Bill Clinton's national security team have joined together to defeat Pennsylvania Republican Curt Weldon's House re-election bid this November - in what looks like retaliation for Weldon's efforts in exposing the Clinton administration's Able Danger scandal.

In June 2005, Weldon went public with news that Clinton administration lawyers prevented the Defense Intelligence Agency's Able Danger group from blowing the whistle on two al Qaida terrorists who would later pilot the planes that destroyed the World Trade Center.

Though the media downplayed Weldon's bombshell, a number of high ranking Clinton officials apparently haven't forgotten - and they're pouring money into the campaign of Weldon's opponent, Joe Sestak.

According to the Philadelphia Inquirer:

Former Secretary of State Madeleine Albright has given $500 to Sestak.

Disgraced former National Security Advisor Sandy Berger has given Weldon's opponent $1,000.

Disgraced ex-Clinton CIA director John Deutch gave $500.

Former Clinton Navy secretary John Dalton ponied up $500 to defeat Weldon.

Former White House chief of staff John Podesta - $300.

Berger's predecessor as national security adviser, Anthony Lake - $500.

Even Hillary Clinton has gotten into the act, contributing $2,500 to defeat Curt Weldon.

Late Nite Jokes

Leno

President Bush says that massive deportation is not reasonable. Why not? Mexico did it!

New Mexico Governor Bill Richardson is undecided on the issue of cock fighting. Cock fighting is still legal in New Mexico. Bill Richardson says that there are good arguments on both sides. Really?! What is a good reason for cock fighting? Does this keep the roosters off the street?

Queen Elizabeth turned 80 over the weekend. She’s more of a figurehead no power. Here in the United States we call that a Democrat.

NASCAR is branching out. They have come out with their own line of meats. Don’t we already have that? Isn’t it called beef jerky?

Tuesday, April 25, 2006

Rep. Mollohan's 'Cheat River' Deal Probed

A land deal involving a Democratic congressman and a defense contractor he helped receive a federal contract has come under scrutiny.

Rep. Alan B. Mollohan, a 12-term congressman from West Virginia, last year jointly purchased a 300-acre farm along his state’s Cheat River along with Dale R. McBride, chief executive of FMW Composite Systems Inc. of Bridgeport, W.Va.

Mollohan’s real estate holdings and financial disclosures have drawn the attention of federal investigators, and the farm purchase "is the most direct tie yet disclosed between Rep. Mollohan and a beneficiary of the federal spending he has steered toward his home state,” the Wall Street Journal reports.

The $2.1 million contract awarded to McBride’s company was part of a much larger appropriations bill for fiscal year 2005 to fund the National Aeronautics and Space Administration. Mollohan is a senior member of the House subcommittee that controlled the legislation.

The funds were to be used to develop lightweight payload pallets for space-shuttle missions.

Over the past five years, Rep. Mollohan steered more than $200 million to a network of nonprofit groups in West Virginia, often through narrow spending provisions known as earmarks.

The Journal reported earlier this month that executives of these groups and companies had contributed regularly to Rep. Mollohan's campaigns and his family foundation.

In a Senate hearing in 2003, then-NASA administrator Sean O'Keefe denied seeking $15.5 million in earmarks that had been directed to the Institute for Scientific Research and other contractors in Mollohan's congressional district.

Now Federal Bureau of Investigation agents have begun asking questions in Washington and West Virginia about Mollohan’s holdings and whether they were properly disclosed, according to the Journal.

Mollohan has acknowledged that he may have made "inadvertent” mistakes in financial disclosure forms.

But the federal inquiry has widened to include a probe of Mollohan’s business ties to people who have benefited from earmarks, according to sources who spoke to the Journal.

Mollohan – who has resigned from his post as senior Democrat on the House Ethics Committee to focus on combating the charges – said "any claim whatsoever” that investments such as the farm "are in any way related to my actions as a member of Congress is categorically false.”

McBride said he and longtime friend Mollohan had spent several summers together on a farm and had jointly purchased the Cheat River farm for $900,000 "so that our kids and grandkids could have” some of those memories, and not as an investment.

Late Nite Jokes

Letterman's Top Ten

Top Ten Other Announcements Meredith Vieira Would Like To Make (As Presented By Meredith Vieira)

1. If I seem disappointed, it's because I thought I was going on Leno.

2. I can smell Dave's cheap-ass cologne from here.

3. The rumors are true - I'm on steroids.

4. A minute ago backstage I saw a rat the size of a basset hound.

5. I'm thrilled to follow in the high heels of Katie Couric, Jane Pauley and Bryant Gumbel.

6. I haven't even started at NBC and already I'm getting creepy phone calls from Donald Trump.

7. I'm carrying Brad Pitt's baby.

8. I once served time for running a cockfighting ring in Managua.

9. Six retired generals advised me not to go to CBS.

10.NBC promised me two assistants, an intern and a monkey.

Monday, April 24, 2006

Rep. McKinney Disparages Staffer On-Mike

U.S. Representative Cynthia McKinney, D-Ga., who has been in the news since she scuffled with a Capitol Hill police officer last month, is in the news again after being heard bad-mouthing one of her staffers on tape.

The DeKalb County Democrat is running for re-election in the Fourth Congressional District. She was wearing a microphone during an interview with Georgia's WGCL-TV, CBS 46 on Saturday when a reporter asked her about the fallout from the scuffle with the officer. The reporter asked if the controversy over the confrontation with the police officer has been a distraction for her.

McKinney told the reporter, "You're a distraction because that seems to be all you want to talk about."

She then got up and walked out of the interview, still wearing the mike. She is heard saying, "You know what? They lied to Coz and Coz is a fool."

McKinney apparently realized her blunder and told the reporter that the comments about her communications director, Coz Carson, were off the record.

But the TV station aired the footage, and CNN later picked up the story. WGCL says it does not make "deals" with people being interviewed about what it can air.

McKinney, who is expected to qualify for her U.S. House race Monday, was not immediately available for comment.

Carson said he shares what he calls McKinney's "the media's insatiable appetite for controversy and unimportant issues."

A federal grand jury in Washington is considering whether McKinney should be charged in connection with the scuffle March 29th.

She first accused police of racial profiling and later apologized on the House floor, saying the confrontation should not have happened.

Sunday, April 23, 2006

John Kerry Defends CIA Leaker

Sen. John Kerry is defending CIA leaker Mary McCarthy, who was fired by the agency on Friday for revealing classified information about secret CIA interrogations of top al-Qaida suspects.

"If you're leaking to tell the truth, Americans are going to look at that [and] at least mitigate or think about what are the consequences that you, you know, put on that person," Kerry told ABC's "This Week."

"Obviously they're not going to keep their job, but there are other larger issues here," he insisted.

Kerry prefaced his remarks by noting: "Clearly, leaking is against the law. And nobody should leak. I abhor leaking. I don't like it."

But the 2008 presidential hopeful complained that sometimes "classification in Washington is a tool that is used to hide the truth from the American people."

Kerry said that he was "glad" the CIA leaker "told the truth," before adding: "But she's going to obviously - if she did it, if she did it - suffer the consequences of breaking the law."

Saturday, April 22, 2006

Bill Clinton Hits the Jackpot with Sweetheart Deal

Ex-president Bill Clinton stands to reap "tens of millions of dollars" in personal income from his job as an advisor to Yucaipa Companies, a California private equity firm controlled by one of his best friends and biggest political donors, billionaire Ron Burkle.

The New York Times reports Sunday that the sweetheart deal comes "without great effort and at virtually no risk" for the former president.

"He has put up little of his own money and has no day-to-day responsibilities over how the more than $1 billion in the funds is invested," the paper said.

Mr. Burkle, who built his financial empire by operating supermarkets in Los Angeles, tells the Times that Mr. Clinton's role is to help find investment opportunities for Yucaipa projects.

"He explains to people better than we can why these are good things to invest in," the former bag boy billionaire told the paper Thursday night, while sitting in Mr. Clinton's Harlem office. "If we make money, he makes money."

Though the supermarket magnate declined to offer specifics about Mr. Clinton's jackpot, the Times said that based on Yucaipa's track record, it could reach "into the tens of millions of dollars."

Clinton himself declined to be interviewed about the lucrative arrangement.

But in a 2003 speech he explained that Yucaipa had "earned a phenomenal return investing in three things I care about: in underserved communities, in underperforming companies that are friendly to their workers and their families, and in minority-owned businesses."

Late Night Jokes

Leno

Welcome to the show. The big story...I guess you know, President Bush met with the President of China at the White House. The first thing the Chinese President asked Bush, "What the hell happened to Kenny Rogers Face?"

The President of China gave President Bush a traditional Chinese gift, a pirated bootleg copy of "Mission Impossible 3", two weeks before it comes out.

President Bush tried to put together some entertainment for President Hu, but you know Bush not too popular with most performers. The only guy he could get was William Hung.

As I'm sure you have heard, there have been resignations in Washington. Yesterday, Press Secretary Scott McClellan resigned. People at the White House are dropping faster than old guys hunting with Dick Cheney.

Record temperatures in Texas. Over 100 degrees. In fact, it was so hot 3000 people are without power today. 3001 if you count Tom Delay.

Al Gore coming out with a movie about global warming called an "Inconvenient Truth". It's described as a detailed scientific view of global warming. President Bush said he just saw a film about global warming. "Ice Age 2; The Meltdown". He said, "It's so much better than that boring Al Gore movie."

Letterman

Two celebrity birthdays today. Matthew Broderick and Rosie O’Donnell. They both turned 44 today. They also celebrated the same way – their wives cooked them a steak.

Friday, April 21, 2006

Harry Reid's Senate Support Slipping

Support for Sen. Harry Reid has slipped since he became Senate minority leader in November 2004, according to a newspaper poll.

The percentage of Nevada voters who viewed the Democratic senator favorably dropped by 10 percentage points since 2004 to 43 percent, while the number who viewed him unfavorably increased 14 points to 39 percent, according to a poll commissioned by the Las Vegas Review-Journal.

The poll surveyed 625 regular voters April 3-5 and has a margin of error of plus or minus 4 percentage points.

Analysts say Reid's prominent position in the party may have turned off voters who viewed him as independent. As the leader of the opposition in the Senate, Reid has been tagged by many Republicans as "obstructionist."

"This is the problem that any national leader faces within his state," said Eric Herzik, a political science professor at the University of Nevada, Reno. "He has to take some positions nationally that probably do hurt him back in Nevada, and he has to be more outspoken."

Reid spokeswoman Sharyn Stein said the senator "is willing to take gutsy and sometimes controversial stands in his fight for change ... rather than following polls."

Brad Coker, a managing partner Mason-Dixon Polling & Research Inc., which conducted the survey, said the prominent national position can be a burden.

"Becoming Senate minority leader doesn't always help with the folks back home. Just ask Tom Daschle," Coker said.

Daschle, a three-term senator from South Dakota and Reid's predecessor as Senate minority leader, lost his re-election race in an upset in 2004.

Thursday, April 20, 2006

Hillary Clinton: Bush Enviro Policy Caused Katrina

2008 presidential hopeful Hillary Clinton is celebrating Earth Day by unveiling her new energy plan and by blaming President Bush's environmental policies for Hurricane Katrina.

In a fundraising email sent out to donors on Thursday, Mrs. Clinton alleges:

"In the last five years, the Bush administration has left no major environmental law untouched in their push to deregulate, undermining or rolling back decades of regulations put in place to protect our heath.

"The results are all around us," she says, citing "more greenhouse gases, global warming, rising seas, more violent storms like Katrina."

She also blames Bush for "the endless demand for higher-priced oil [that] is depleting world supplies [and] weakening our economic security."

Mrs. Clinton proposes the creation of a brand new energy bureaucracy, telling her supporters: "We have the National Institutes of Health; why don't we have a National Institute of Energy?"

Decrying what she called the "short-sighted, oil company-dependent energy policy that values drilling anywhere for oil more than it values protecting our planet, Mrs. Clinton said her energy plan would compel the big oil companies to invest "their historic profits . . . into a strategic energy fund to develop alternative energy forms."

The former first lady proposed granting consumer tax breaks to buy fuel-efficient vehicles, extending incentives to produce electricity from renewable sources, and making bio fuels more widely available.

For the long term Mrs. Clinton says she supports research into wind farms, solar energy cells, ethanol, and biodiesel."

The former first lady urges that the time for action is now, warning: "the threats to our environment and way of life are real and growing."

Late Night Jokes

Leno

Lets see what is going on in the news. We are about to go to war with Iran. A woman in Los Angeles has the bubonic plague. Iraq's a mess...but the big story, Tom and Katie had their baby!

Good news. President Bush is creating thousands of new jobs. Unfortunately, all of them are at the White House.

Today, during a Pentagon briefing, Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld said we're making progress and we're very close to capturing some high ranking officials. Unfortunately they are all retired U.S. generals.

While in the United States the President of China plans to make the rounds at Wal-Mart stores. You know, doing inventory.

He will also be visiting the White House. So China's president meets America's president. It will be President Hu meeting President Huh.

Kiefer Sutherland on the show tonight. As you may have heard he signed a three-year $40-million dollar deal to continue starring in the show "24". Here's the scary part, four of the five people who made that deal yesterday are now dead.

Kiefer was sent over here on a mission: to diffuse all the bombs on NBC.

Letterman

Did you hear about the tramway yesterday? The tram that goes to Roosevelt Island got stuck over the East River. 69 people were stuck and had to be rescued. Believe me, we owe a debt of a gratitude to Superman.

They were stuck on the tram for six hours. Everyone is okay. The good news – FEMA arrives next week!

Tom Cruise was on the "Today Show” this morning lecturing Matt Lauer on diaper rash.

As you know Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes had a baby girl. It weighs 7 pounds 7 ounces and is 20 inches long…wait that’s Tom.

Wednesday, April 19, 2006

USS Cole Blunder Was Gen. Anthony Zinni's Fault

NewsMax - Former CENTCOM Commander, Gen. Anthony Zinni - who has called for Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld to resign because of Rumsfeld's alleged incompetence in running the Iraq war - admitted six years ago that he made the disastrous decision to have the USS Cole use the port of Aden, Yemen for refueling, where the ship was blown up by al-Qaida terrorists.

Worse still, at least one report indicates that Gen. Zinni may have played a role in an August 1998 leak that tipped off Osama bin Laden to an impending U.S. cruise missile attack - allowing the top terrorist to escape.

Testifying before the Senate Armed Services Committee in October 2000, a week after the Cole attack, the then-recently retired Zinni said: "I pass that buck on to nobody."

The Rumsfeld critic explained that he personally signed off on berthing the Cole in Yemen even though "their coast is a sieve for terrorists."

"The threat conditions in Aden were better than elsewhere," he insisted, citing risk assessments for Sudan and Saudi Arabia.

Gen. Zinni said that cutbacks in the size of the Navy's fleet during the Clinton years made it necessary to use regional ports for refueling, noting: "Ten years ago, we did all refueling at sea" using Navy oilers.

Still, prior to the Cole attack, there's no record that Gen. Zinni ever complained about Clinton era defense cuts.

In what may be an even more troubling development, a report indicates that the leading Rumsfeld critic may have inadvertently played a role in tipping off Osama bin Laden to an impending U.S. cruise missile attack two years before the Cole episode.

Two days after President Clinton ordered the attack on bin Laden's encampment in Khost Afghanistan, the Associated Press reported:

"Kuwait's Al-Watan newspaper, quoting unidentified sources in London today, reported that Pakistan leaked to bin Laden news about an impending U.S. strike. The sources said the leak was aimed at limiting casualties, so that bin Laden would have less justification for a counterattack.

"A Pakistani government source, speaking on condition of anonymity, said that Gen. Anthony Zinni, commander of the U.S. Central Command, was in Peshawar the day before the attack to meet with Pakistani officials.

"Other Pakistani sources said Zinni came with a team of U.S. intelligence experts whose task was to pinpoint the camps and determine bin Laden's exact whereabouts."

Late Night Jokes

Leno

Yesterday, the White House sponsored the annual Easter Egg Roll on the South Lawn. The winning child found six eggs and 14 lobbyists hiding in the bushes.

For the first time ever, President Bush welcomed some gay couples to the White House Easter Egg Roll. He recognized one couple. He went over to then and said, "Didn't you used to be governor of New Jersey?"

President Bush had to ask for an extension on his taxes. He's still trying to decide whether or not to write off Donald Rumsfeld.

I don't want to say that Donald Rumsfeld is in trouble, but this morning they found him hiding in a spider hole.

On CNN a retired Air Force Colonel said that the U.S. military operations are already underway in Iran. So you know what that means, time to breakout the old mission accomplished banner.

Michael has made a Jackson deal with a New York investment group to re-finance $300 million dollars in loans. After the deal was worked out they told Michael don't spend the money all on one kid, ok?

Letterman

If you’re a White House Chief of Staff thinking about leaving this would be a good time.

Six retired army generals have called for the retirement of Regis.

They have also demanded that the Sizzlers early bird special be moved up to 4:00 PM.

This is the 100th anniversary of the devastating San Francisco earthquake. 100 years ago today. The devastating earthquake happened today, 100 years ago. FEMA is on the way.

Tuesday, April 18, 2006

Media Sees Military as 'Other Side'

Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld said Monday that journalists covering the Iraq war no longer want to be embedded with U.S. military units because they viewed American troops as "the other side."

In an interview Monday with EIB Radio host Rush Limbaugh, Rumsfeld noted that "far fewer journalists . . . have stepped up to become embedded" compared to the early days of the war.

The defense chief recalled: "I asked one reporter about that, and there was kind of the impression left that, 'Well, if you got embedded then you were really part of the problem instead of part of the solution and you were almost going over to the other side.'"

Rumsfeld then added: "I think that's an inexcusable thought, and I don't know if that's the case [with all reporters]."

The Pentagon leader said that before the press grew disenchanted with it, he considered the military's embed program to have been a significant success.

"A lot of people who are reporters and journalists were able to work with our troops and see precisely how terrific they are, the wonderful job they do, the kinds of people they are, how professional they are," he told Limbaugh. "And the rest of their lives they're going to have an impression of the American military that will be good for journalism, in my view."

Rumsfeld said he wasn't overly troubled by recent criticism by six retired generals who have called on him to resign, telling Limbaugh: "If you started chasing, running around chasing public opinion polls or a handful of people who are critics of this or critics on that, you wouldn't get anywhere in this world."

Instead he said he was pleased that former Joint Chiefs Chairman, Gen. Richard Myers, former CENTCOM Commander Tommy Franks, his second in command, Gen. Mike DeLong and Admiral Vern Clark have issued supportive statements in recent days.

Late Night Jokes

Leno

Today is tax day. Which is a nice change of pace. We can skip one day of getting screwed at the gas pump to get screwed by the IRS.

President Bush had kind of a embarrassing moment on his taxes. Under dependants he listed Scooter Libby, Tom Delay, Jack Abramhoff. Then he caught himself and said, "Dependants? Oh, I thought they said defendants!"

The big story continues to be that seven retired generals have come forward and called for Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld to step down. In response to that, President Bush said he fully supports Donald Rumsfeld. You know what that means. Sounds like somebody may be going on a hunting trip with Dick Cheney.

That shows the difference between administrations - Bush can't control his generals; where as Clinton could never control his privates.

There's a bill on the senate floor here in California to make gay studies mandatory in high school. Kids would have to study gay history. Gay history is a little different. They call the Great Depression when Judy Garland died.

Letterman

If I seem a little down it’s because six former generals have called for my resignation.

Trouble at my house this weekend. Mom got liquored up and started reading from the gospel of Judas.

Today down on the White House lawn the kids looked for Easter Eggs. They did a great job. I was thinking, well maybe we should let the kids hunt for Osama bin Laden.

The kids found hundreds and hundreds of eggs and a bunch of Dick Cheney’s shell casings.

Monday, April 17, 2006

Secure the Borders

2008 presidential hopeful George Allen urged his Senate colleagues on Sunday to "put the pedal to the metal" on immigration reform and "first and foremost, secure the borders."

"[For] the people out there in the real world . . . this is a hot issue," Sen. Allen told CBS's "Face the Nation." "I think the Senate needs to put the pedal to the metal, get moving, make decisions and first and foremost, secure the borders."

On some of the amnesty bills currently before Congress, Allen said: "We should not reward illegal behavior because all you'll get is more illegal behavior."

Asked if Republican-controlled Congress would "be hurt" by further inaction on illegal immigration, Allen said: "I think Republicans need to stand up for the rule of law. I think Republicans need to stand up for securing our borders. And I think Republicans - and all people - ought to look at history."

The Virginia GOP'er noted that in 1986, amnesty was provided to the 3 million illegals then in the country.

"Now we have approximately 11 million in the country illegally," he added. "Twenty years from now we're going to have 20 million.

"We need to do this right, do it properly and learn from history."

Late Night Jokes

Leno

Tomorrow is April 15th, tax day! It's the day that legal Americans wish they were illegal Americans.

Also Easter....so while people are trying to hide Easter eggs from the kids they will also be trying to hide their nest egg from the IRS.

Easter is so different in California. Like in Beverly Hills kids don't decorate Easter eggs, they paint low cholesterol egg beaters. Then they hire out illegal immigrants to go out and find them.

There's a huge controversy here in California over a state senate bill that would require all students to study gay history. Proponents cite an alarming survey showing that 80% of kids don't know which one is Siegfried and which one is Roy. I had no idea it was that bad.

In a feature article in "Sports Illustrated” on Kobe Bryant, a professor at USC said Kobe is not very popular with fans. He said that Kobe has about as much street creed as Dick Cheney. Actually Cheney has more street creed - he actually shot a guy.

Late Nite Jokes

Leno

Tomorrow is April 15th, tax day! It's the day that legal Americans wish they were illegal Americans.

Also Easter....so while people are trying to hide Easter eggs from the kids they will also be trying to hide their nest egg from the IRS.

Easter is so different in California. Like in Beverly Hills kids don't decorate Easter eggs, they paint low cholesterol egg beaters. Then they hire out illegal immigrants to go out and find them.

There's a huge controversy here in California over a state senate bill that would require all students to study gay history. Proponents cite an alarming survey showing that 80% of kids don't know which one is Siegfried and which one is Roy. I had no idea it was that bad.

In a feature article in "Sports Illustrated” on Kobe Bryant, a professor at USC said Kobe is not very popular with fans. He said that Kobe has about as much street creed as Dick Cheney. Actually Cheney has more street creed - he actually shot a guy.

Sunday, April 16, 2006

Rep. John Conyers Used Staff to Babysit

Michigan Democrat John Conyers - the congressman who would be chairman of the powerful House Judiciary Committee should Democrats gain control of the House - has been accused of misusing his office - and taxpayer dollars - for personal advantage.

According to two of his former staff members, Conyers required them to babysit his children, run errands and work on his political campaigns while on his congressional payroll.

According to CNN, former Conyers legal adviser Sydney Rooks charged that the congressman brought his two young sons into her office several times, saying, "Rooks, they're your responsibility for right now. I'll be back later." The definition of "later," she told network, could be anywhere from a few minutes to an hour.

"[I] could be frantically calling around trying to find him because it was now 8 or 9 p.m. or later in the evening and not knowing what to do with the children," she added.

For Deanna Maher, former deputy chief of staff in Conyers' Detroit office, baby-sitting meant a job as a full-time nanny.

"He handed me the keys to his car and his house, [said] take care of my child Carl and everything," Maher said, explaining that she moved into Conyers' Detroit home and took care of his elder son for several weeks while the congressman was in Washington and his wife attended law classes in Oklahoma.

In addition to the baby sitting chores, the ex-employees say while working on congressional staff time they were required to work on local elections in Michigan, including a campaign for Conyers' wife, Monica, who is the Detroit City Council's president pro tem. Sam Riddle, a spokesman for Monica Conyers, said the councilwoman "denies that any of the congressman's staff helped with her campaign."

Maher, Rooks and two other staffers have filed complaints against their former boss with the U.S. House of Representatives' ethics committee.

CNN says it made several attempts recently to reach the congressman to answer these former staffers' allegations. Last week, Conyers declined to answer questions about duties assigned to his staff.

"I've been told not to discuss them because we haven't examined them," Conyers said of allegations in a hallway outside a congressional hearing room. "And I have an attorney."

Late Nite Jokes

Letterman's Top Ten

Top Ten Signs You've Hired A Bad Easter Bunny

1. He disappears for hours with Whitney Houston.

2. Tells you for an extra thousand bucks he won't rat you out to the "New York Post".

3. He's wearing a yarmulke.

4. Hides five eggs and the body of a drifter.

5. Easter basket is filled with menthol cigarettes.

6. He's been wearing the suit since November.

7. Keeps saying, "Jesus? No doesn't ring a bell..."

8. Before kids get candy they have to sit through a presentation about timeshare condos.

9. Not really a hop - more of a drug impaired stumble.

10.Costume is made from rabbits he hit on the interstate.

Saturday, April 15, 2006

Voter Registration Drives at Illegal Immigration Rallies

Some of the biggest pro-illegal immigration rallies lately have featured a disturbing phenomenon: Democratic Party operatives conducting voter registration drives.

After Sunday's massive illegal-immigration rally in Dallas, for instance, the Dallas Morning News headlined their coverage: "Activists sign up protesters to put them on road to polls."

The paper quoted Lena Levario, a criminal defense lawyer who's running as a Democrat to be a judge:

"I am so optimistic that I have 5,000 voter registration cards," she told the News.

By the day's end, the paper said - Levario had yet to tally the new voters she'd harvested from the massive - and largely illegal - crowd.

But the Democrat hopeful declared: "We are going to march to the end of the November election."

Also working the illegal immigration rally was David Hanschen, another Democratic candidate for judge. He handed out fliers that read: " Vota Democrata en 2006."

Elsewhere activists exhorted: "We march today, we vote tomorrow."

While no one involved in the voter drives would admit to knowingly registering illegals, the phenomenon wasn't limited to the Dallas rally.

The San Diego Union Tribune reports that organizers of that city's weekend march foresaw the potential to harness the energy present in the pro-illegal protests and convert it into Latino voting power.

"I think it is very clear that it has the potential for mobilizing both nonregistered U.S. citizen Latinos as well as pushing Latinos to naturalize," Harry Pachon, director of the Tomas Rivera Policy Institute, told the paper.

Organizers for San Diego's pro-illegal rally made a decision to focus more intensely than originally planned on registering voters, the Tribune said.

"In the process of planning this event, it became clear that we had to do more than get them in the street and make noise," said Matt O'Connor, a spokesman for Local 2028 of the Service Employees International Union in San Diego, which was one of the organizers of the march.

"It's going to be a missed opportunity if we don't do that."

Friday, April 14, 2006

Have Illegals Build Border Wall

Firebrand author Ann Coulter has an answer for illegal immigration apologists who say it's simply too expensive to build a wall across the entire U.S.-Mexican border: Hire illegal aliens already in the U.S. to help with the construction.

Asked how she would solve the illegal immigration problem, Coulter told Fox News Channel's Bill O'Reilly on Thursday: "I'd build a wall. In fact, I'd hire illegal immigrants to build the wall."

Coulter told O'Reilly that she also favors deporting illegal aliens wherever they turn up, noting that immigration authorities missed a perfect opportunity to get a head start on the effort with the recent wave of pro-illegal protests.

As outrageous as Coulter's comments may seem, her views on illegal immigration are firmly in the mainstream of U.S. public opinion.

A Time magazine poll released last weekend showed 56 percent of those surveyed support building a wall along the entire 2,000 mile Mexican border. Just 40 percent opposed.

Even on the question of deporting illegal immigrants, Coulter is in the majority. Asked whether the U.S. would be better off if "all illegals" were deported, 51 percent of Americans said yes, with just 38 percent disagreeing.

The controversial conservative said the disconnect between what the American people think about illegal immigration and what Washington plans to do is unprecedented.

"I've never seen an issue where public opinion seems so strongly on one side, but because of corporate interests, the government is acting the other way," she told O'Reilly. "How about putting this to a vote?"

Thursday, April 13, 2006

Most Americans Oppose Amnesty

A majority of Americans said they oppose amnesty for illegal aliens, so-called "undocumented workers" from other nations who are already residing in the United States, according to a recent Zogby International survey.

While 52 percent said there should be no amnesty, 32 percent said they would favor amnesty for illegal aliens who currently reside in the United States.

The U.S. Congress has estimated that there are 11 million illegal immigrants now living in America. Amnesty was offered to people in this category during the Reagan administration, but it did little to stem the tide of illegal immigration into the country, primarily via the U.S.-Mexico border.

As Congress now works on immigration reform legislation in Washington, the survey shows there is a significant partisan divide on this question. Among self-identified Democrats nationwide, 51 percent favor amnesty, while 29 percent oppose it. Another 20 percent said they are unsure on the issue.

Among self-identified Republicans participating in the survey, just 13 percent said they favor amnesty, while 76 percent said they oppose such an offer.

A majority of political independents are opposed to offering amnesty – 50 percent said they are against it, while 33 percent said they are in favor of it.

This question also divides the nation based on age of the respondents. While younger respondents favor amnesty in greater numbers, older likely voters do not.

Wednesday, April 12, 2006

Sen. Kennedy Slammed for Civil Rights Comparison to Illegal Aliens

A black conservative minister and staunch immigration reform advocate Rev. Jesse Lee Peterson Tuesday denounced Sen. Ted Kennedy for comparing pro-illegal immigration rallies to civil rights marches for blacks half a century ago.

The Massachusetts Democrat, who is a proponent of a Senate plan that would open the way to citizenship for illegals, said recent illegal immigration rallies are "reminiscent of the civil rights movement.”

Rev. Peterson said, "Ted Kennedy should be ashamed for comparing the civil rights struggles of blacks to that of illegal aliens. Black Americans are being driven out of their jobs and schools by the influx of illegals — while politicians like Kennedy sell them out for Hispanic votes.”

Thirty years ago, the Los Angeles Unified School District student population was 24% black and 32% Hispanic. Today, one in 10 students is black, and seven in 10 are Hispanic.

"These figures should be alarming to anyone who cares about black Americans," Peterson said. "Unfortunately for blacks, politicians like Kennedy are more interested in the next election — and blacks are a small slice of the voting pie, while Hispanic numbers are exploding."

"Blacks must finally claim their birthright as Americans, and say ‘no’ to the further devastation of their workforce and communities by illegal aliens and their political accomplices,” said Rev. Peterson.

Late Nite Jokes

Leno

Well folks, it's April 10th. Or as they call it at FEMA. April Fools Day!

Here’s a huge story that is making news around the world. The finding of what they believe to be, the "gospel according to Judas". Or as they call it at the White House, the Scooter Libby testimony.

The White House has now admitted that while President Bush was complaining about people in the government leaking classified information, he himself was doing it. Which is pretty shocking, the White House lets President Bush look at classified information?

Over a one million people marched today in cities across the country to protest immigration laws. And while we wear watching them do that another million people snuck across the U.S.-Mexican border.

This is what I don't get about this. They've got oil. Their citizens love the United States. Forget Iraq, we should have invaded Mexico.

Today an intruder made it on to the front lawn of the White House when President Bush was home. He was apprehended by the secret service. The Secret Service says this is the fourth time the man jumped over the White House fence. We want to build along the entire Mexico border...we can't keep people out of the White House!

He got close but couldn't get in to the White House. So he is believed to be a Democrat.

Congratulations to Hugh Hefner who turned 80 years old over the weekend. One of his girlfriends told reporters he was like the creepy grandfather she never had. Hugh's at that awkward age. Too young to retire, too old to be dating any of those women.

Letterman

CBS has replaced Bob Schiefer with Katie Couric. Bob is gone so I am now the dullest man on CBS.

Tonight a new version of "The Ten Commandments” was shown right here on CBS. In this updated version Moses parts two cowboys.

Tuesday, April 11, 2006

Rush Limbaugh Dominates Talk Radio

Talk-show host Rush Limbaugh still dominates the radio talk show business, a new study finds.

According to a recently released survey by the Benchmark Company, Limbaugh was "the most widely identified radio talk-show host" in America - with some 94 percent of Americans indicating they know who he is.

Satellite radio shock jock Howard Stern was a close second, with 89 percent of Americans saying they could identify him.

But the Benchmark study also noted a general decline in the ability of regular talk radio listeners to identify other nationally syndicated hosts.

"With the exception of a few, well-established icons like Limbaugh and Stern, it may well be that the number of nationally syndicated radio hosts has gone past the point where the average listener can absorb all the names,” said Dr. Rob Balon, CEO of Benchmark.

The study of 1120 regular listeners of AM and FM talk radio was the third installment in the Benchmark series on talk radio that began in 1994.

In addition, the study found that there were more listeners who classified themselves as political moderates and fewer who identified themselves as conservatives.

Another surprising finding was the perceived importance of local radio talk hosts. Sixty-nine percent of respondents mentioned a local host when asked who their favorite radio personality was.

"Local hosts talk about things that impact folks on their own turf,” explained Balon. "Sometimes it is politics, sometimes water cooler stuff, but it is what the listener relates to."

The study also addressed the role of the Internet and of technology in talk radio. 49 percent of respondents said they’d consider a monthly subscription if their favorite host went to a satellite station. And 65 percent mentioned visiting their favorite talk station’s Web site while 19 percent said they at least occasionally listened online.

Monday, April 10, 2006

Liberals Turn on McCain

Liberals who have championed John McCain as a "maverick” Republican are turning against the Arizona Senator as he positions himself more in the conservative mainstream.

McCain – a likely presidential candidate in 2008 – has recently reached out to mend fences with Jerry Falwell, whom he called an "agent of intolerance” six years ago. He has also supported President Bush on most issues and voted in favor of making permanent the tax cuts he once opposed, the Washington Post reports.

That has led New York Times columnist Paul Krugman to write: "It's time for some straight talk about John McCain. He isn't a moderate. He's much less of a maverick than you'd think. And he isn't the straight talker he claims to be."

Washington Post columnist E.J. Dionne wrote: "If McCain spends the next two years obviously positioning himself to win Republican primary votes, he will start to look like just another politician. Once lost, a maverick's image is hard to earn back."

Mark Schmitt of The American Prospect has written that people should "have no illusions: McCain is a very conservative Republican who has now embarked on the project of reaffirming his position as the rightful heir to Barry Goldwater's politics as well as his Senate seat."

Blogger Arianna Huffington says she "loved" McCain but now writes: "Watching a true American hero hang a For Sale sign on his principles is a profoundly sad thing."

And on "Meet the Press," Tim Russert asked McCain: "Are you concerned that people are going to say, 'I see, John McCain tried "Straight Talk Express," it didn't work in 2000, so now in 2008 he's going to become a conventional, typical politician, reaching out to people that he called agents of intolerance, voting for tax cuts he opposed, to make himself more appealing to the hard-core Republican base'?"

What’s behind the liberal media’s shift?

"In 2000, he was a colorful underdog running against the party establishment's candidate,” Howard Kurtz writes in the Post. "He championed what seemed like a quixotic crusade for campaign finance reform. He was a certified war hero as a former prisoner at the Hanoi Hilton ... And, in the view of the press, he had little chance of winning.

"This time around, McCain is arguably the front-runner for the GOP nomination. If he runs, he could well win the White House, shutting out the Democrats for the third straight election. And that is rallying the pundits of the left.”

Sunday, April 9, 2006

Americans Back Border Fence, Deportations and Denying Benefits

Americans support building a security fence along the entire 2,000 mile U.S.- Mexican border by a landslide, a new Time magazine poll has found.

By a margin of 56 to 40 percent, respondents said they want the wall built from sea to shining sea - not just the 700 miles stipulated in the House plan, a proposal the press calls "draconian."

In more evidence that the American people want a tougher crackdown on illegal immigration than anything favored by Congress or the media, 62 percent told Time that they favored using the military to guard the border. Just 35 percent opposed.

But the poll's biggest shocker may be on the question of deporting illegals back to their native country, an option that politicians and the press say is out of the question.

Time found, however, that 47 percent of those surveyed actually favor deporting "all illegal immigrants," and 49 percent were opposed.

Most, 51 percent, said the U.S. would be "better of" if all illegals were deported and the border sealed to prevent any more from coming in. Just 38 percent disagreed.

A full 75 percent say illegals should be denied government supplied health care and food stamps, with 21 percent saying they should get those benefits. A majority, 69 percent, say illegals shouldn't be allowed to get U.S. drivers licenses.

Time surveyed 1004 adult Americans on March 29 and 30. The poll has a margin of error of +/- 3 percent

Saturday, April 8, 2006

Nothing Wrong with Bush 'Leak'

The Washington Post has broken ranks with the rest of the press over the media fiction that President Bush's recently revealed decision to authorize Lewis "Scooter" Libby to leak prewar Iraq intelligence somehow constitutes a new scandal.

In a stunning editorial headlined "The Good Leak," the Post said Sunday:

"There was nothing illegal or even particularly unusual about [Bush's decision]; nor is this presidentially authorized leak necessarily comparable to other, unauthorized disclosures that the president believes, rightly or wrongly, compromise national security."

Instead, the paper says that, if anyone has behaved unethically in the entire Leakgate fiasco, its Bush's accuser, former Iraq ambassador Joe Wilson:

"Mr. Wilson originally claimed in a 2003 New York Times op-ed and in conversations with numerous reporters that he had debunked a report that Iraq was seeking to purchase uranium from Niger and that Mr. Bush's subsequent inclusion of that allegation in his State of the Union address showed that he had deliberately 'twisted' intelligence 'to exaggerate the Iraq threat.'"

But as the Post notes: "The material that Mr. Bush ordered declassified established, as have several subsequent investigations, that Mr. Wilson was the one guilty of twisting the truth. In fact, his report supported the conclusion that Iraq had sought uranium."

The Post says that Leakgate prosecutor Patrick Fitzgerald has provided additional evidence of the Bush accuser's duplicity.

"Mr. Wilson subsequently claimed that the White House set out to punish him for his supposed whistle-blowing by deliberately blowing the cover of his wife, Valerie Plame, who he said was an undercover CIA operative . . . [But] after more than 2 1/2 years of investigation, Mr. Fitzgerald has reported no evidence to support Mr. Wilson's charge."

Predictably, the Post's dismissal of the latest Leakgate "bombshell" didn't rate a single mention on the Sunday chat shows, which instead continued to cover the development as earth-shattering news.

Late Nite Jokes

Leno

I had a horrible nightmare last night. I dreamed it was "Take Your Daughter to Work Day" at Homeland Security.

Tom Delay announced that he will not seek re-election and is giving up his seat in congress. Apparently he just really wants to concentrate on not giving up his seat in prison.

Hurricane season is less than two months away. There's no joke, I just wanted to give FEMA a heads up.

CBS is hoping Katie Couric will draw a younger audience to CBS news. I think Estelle Getty would draw younger audience to CBS news.

Here's some good news. Drug use among teenagers is down. Teenagers are saying "No" to drugs. Now if we can just get the teenagers to say "No" to their teachers we'd be in great shape.

Sharon Stone said this week that there is already a script written for "Basic Instinct 3". Three? From what I heard there wasn't even a script for "Basic Instinct 2"!

Friday, April 7, 2006

John Kerry Roughing it with Butler

Responding to criticism that he had a laundry list of demands when he stayed in luxury hotels on the campaign trail, Sen. John Kerry said yesterday that he recently took a trip where he slept every night in his truck - accompanied only by his motorcycle, a friend and his butler, "Marvin."

Asked about the trip by radio host Don Imus, Kerry explained: "Marvin and Teddy [and myself] . . . We had the best damned time, I'll tell you."

"It was wonderful," the top Democrat declared. "We didn't stay anywhere. We actually drove all night. We slept in the truck. We cruised through, you know, a couple of little pit stops early in the morning. It couldn't have been nicer."

Kerry insisted that he and his butler were really roughing it, painting a picture right out of the hippie rebel movie, "Easy Rider."

"We didn't have any pillows. I'll tell ya, man. It was really funny cause I blew into some little gas station around midnight or two in the morning, whenever it was, and some guy would do a double take and look at ya. They just couldn't figure out what I was doing there at that hour of the morning.

"I couldn't figure it out [either]," the born-to-be-wild senator added.

Kerry didn't explain who "Teddy" was - or why, if he wanted to rough it, he brought his manservant, Marvin Nicholson, along for the ride.

In 2004, Mr. Nicholson detailed some of his responsibilities to the New York Times, which began its report by noting: "Mr. Kerry is comfortable being catered to."

"When he wants that peanut butter and jelly sandwich, I'm ready," Marvin explained.

Among the items Nicholson carries at all times for the rough and ready Democrat: Swedish hand cream, Scope mouthwash, Handiwipes, two packs of Band-Aids, Tylenol, Advil, Advil Liquid Gels, Advil Sinus pills, a sewing kit, a can of diet milkshake [Kerry prefers strawberry], a tube of Blistex and a myriad of other accouterments.

The Times noted that Kerry, husband of billionairess Teresa Heinz, pays his trusty manservant a mere $45,000 annually.

Late Nite Jokes

Leno

This weekend the "Miss Iraq Beauty Pageant" was held in Baghdad. But it wasn't on TV, nobody was there to see it in person and nobody in Baghdad really seemed to care. So it was just like our Miss America Pageant.

In an effort to make the Bush environmenatal record look good, Interior Secreatary Gale Norton announced that under the Bush administration, there are now more wetlands than any time since 1954. Well yeah, if you count New Orleans!

There's a lot of controversy about this illegal alien guest worker program. Or as most people call it...the New York Yankees.

Tom Delay announced that he will not run for reelection. However, he will continue to serve the people of his state - by making license plates.

I guess you know that Katie Couric is leaving NBC. Everybody is jumping ship. Today the NBC peacock announced it's leaving to do a show on Animal Planet.

It was announced today who is going to replace Katie. You know who got the job? Conan!

Meredith Vieira announced she will be taking over for Katie Couric. She is looking forward to every part of it...except for the colon exam.

Thursday, April 6, 2006

Rep. McKinney 'Is A Racist'

A grand jury has supoenaed two Capitol Hill aides who witnessed the March 29 confrontation between Rep. Cynthia McKinney, D-Ga.. and a Capitol Police officer.

McKinney is accused of striking an officer after he tried to stop her from entering a House office building without going through a security checkpoint.

Lisa Subrize, executive assistant to Rep. Thaddeus McCotter, R-Mich., and Troy Phillips, senior legislative assistant to Rep. Sam Farr, D-Calif., notified Speaker Dennis Hastert late Wednesday, as is customary under House procedure.

"After consultation with the Office of General Counsel, I have determined that compliance with the subpoena is consistent with the precedents and privileges of the House," both aides said in statements that a clerk read into the House record.

Bob Jackson, a spokesman for McCotter, said that Subrize witnessed the confrontation and immediately filled out a form for the Capitol Police, describing what she saw.
He and a spokeswoman for Farr declined further comment.

Former House Majority Leader Tom DeLay, who on Tuesday abandoned his re-election bid under a cloud of ethics charges, weighed in on Wednesday, saying McKinney, who is black, "is a racist." The officer she allegedly struck is white.

"She has a long history of racism," DeLay, R-Texas, said on Fox News Channel. "Everything is racism with her. This is incredible arrogance that sometimes hits these members of Congress, but especially Cynthia McKinney."

U.S. Capitol Police Chief Terrance Gainer said McKinney turned the officer's failure to recognize her into a criminal matter when she failed to stop at his request, and then struck him.

"He reached out and grabbed her and she turned around and hit him," Gainer said on CNN. "Even the high and the haughty should be able to stop and say, 'I'm a congressman' and then everybody moves on."

McKinney wasn't backing down. She charged anew that racism is behind what she said is a pattern of difficulty in clearing Hill security checkpoints.

"This has become much ado about hairdo," she said Wednesday on CBS' "The Early Show." McKinney recently dropped her trademark cornrows in favor of a curly brown afro.

The incident in a House office building has caused a commotion on Capitol Hill, where security in the era of terrorist threat is tighter than ever and where authorities had to order an evacuation just Monday because of a power outage. Capitol Police have turned the McKinney case over to U.S. Attorney Kenneth Wainstein.

Republicans, meanwhile, presented a resolution commending Capitol police for professionalism toward members of Congress and visitors, even though they "endure physical and verbal assaults in some extreme cases."

"I don't think it's fair to attack the Capitol Police and I think it's time that we show our support for them," said Rep. Patrick McHenry, R-N.C., a sponsor of the measure.

Some GOP members have said the McKinney incident serves to underscore Democratic insensitivity to security concerns.

Gainer said racism was not a factor.

"I've seen our officers stop white members and black members, Latinos, male and females," he told CNN. "It's not an issue about what your race or gender is. It's an issue about making sure people who come into our building are recognized if they're not going through the magnetometer, and this officer at that moment didn't recognize her.

"It would have been real easy, as most members of Congress do, to say here's who I am or do you know who I am?" Gainer added.

Police also have said that McKinney was failing to wear a pin that lawmakers are asked to display when entering Capitol facilities.

Wednesday, April 5, 2006

Iraq Car Bombings Plummet

There's good news out of Iraq that the big media doesn't seem to think is newsworthy. Suicide car bombings have plummeted in the last year by a stunning 84 percent.

According to a study by the Brookings Institution, as of last May, the monthly rate of suicide car attacks stood at 136.

By December, however, that number had fallen to just 30 per month. In February - the last month for which statistics are available - car bombings were down to just 22 per month.

In fact, the plunge in car bombings has been so dramatic that rumors are flying that Abu Musab al Zarqawi - al Qaeda's Iraq operations chief who specialized in suicide car attacks - may have been fired.

According to the Associated Press, Zarqawi has "sharply lowered his profile in recent months, halting his group's Internet claims as the number of big suicide bombings in Iraq — his infamous signature form of attack — has fallen."

A source with close ties to Iraqi insurgent groups tells the AP that Zarqawi was removed as al Qaeda's Iraq commander after his deadly attack on hotels in Jordan backfired by driving up Sunni support for US-backed elections.

The wire service says that the drop in car bombings is "a possible sign of Zarqawi's waning influence."

Late Nite Jokes

Leno

We have a lot of UCLA fans here. Larry, upstairs, was devastated. UCLA, hasn't won a championship since the mid 1990's. They're like the Democrats.

In fact, the Gators...Florida got a congratulatory phone call from PResident Bush. UCLA shot so badly they got a phone call from Dick Cheney.

As I'm sure you know, President Bush is a big baseball fan. He threw out the first pitch in Cincinnati. Do you know that he once wanted to be a professional baseball player? But he just didn't have the ability. Luckily that's not a requirement to be president. Whew!

"The Wall Street Journal" reports that two million Americans got married because of someone they met online. The bad news, four million got divorced because of somebody they met online.

A typical morning at the "Today Show". Matt Lauer talking about news, Al Roker giving weather and Katie Couric was packing her stuff.

Tuesday, April 4, 2006

Hollywood Sours on Hillary

Hillary Rodham Clinton -- too sexy?

That's just the tip of the proverbial iceberg, according to Tina Daunt of the Los Angeles Times, who reports that the junior U.S. senator from New York is carrying a lot of baggage among Hollywood types.

The former first lady is seen either too conservative, too polarizing, too famous or too stiff, not to mention the "too sexy" rap.

Once the darling of the industry's liberal set, Clinton has come under attack from some as she starts to line up support for what many feel will be a run for the presidential nomination in 2008, Daunt reports.

The chatter started quietly last year, when the Hollywood political crowd began speculating that Clinton could be a 2008 contender. Of course her people denied it, saying she's concentrating on her Senate re-election campaign in New York this year.

For months, few were willing to say anything negative on the record, for fear of offending Clinton and her husband, Bill, who became Hollywood's favorite during his political career. When Hillary Clinton decided to run for the Senate in 2000, she was greeted with tremendous support from the entertainment industry's power brokers.

But Hollywood is a fickle place; behind-the-scenes feuding and gossiping are just part of the game. In December, the Sunday Times of London quoted George Clooney as saying that he was "frustrated and disappointed" that the Democratic leaders — including Clinton — had "backed themselves into a corner" over the Iraq war.

According to the paper, Clooney reportedly called Clinton "the most polarizing figure in American politics."

The piece ran with the headline: "Clooney's ambush hits Hillary's campaign." Clooney and his publicist said the comments were taken out of context. But that's like unringing a bell.

According to Daunt, the Hillary issue became the question du jour in celebrity interviews:

How's your movie?

What are you wearing to the Oscars?

What about Hillary Clinton?

Kathleen Turner, starring in "Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf?" in London's West End, was asked by a British reporter if she thought Clinton could win in 2008.

"I have my doubts about that," Turner told Rosie Millard of the New Statesman. "We don't want a celebrity woman president. We want someone who is really proven, someone with a really good foundation at that level, not just a star."

Millard told the diva: "But Hillary is a bit more than a celebrity."

"Yes," Turner said, backtracking. "She might be uniquely qualified having been first lady for eight years. I may have to rethink my position."

Said Millard: "Well, that's a relief."

Next, Sharon Stone.

In a Q&A for the March/April issue of Hollywood Life, writer Lawrence Grobel asked: "Do you still think our president is an idiot?" he asked. Stone responded: "We can only hope that those people who hired a president they thought might be fun to go have a drink with will start to notice that the president of the U.S. is a business position — the CEO of a nation."

So what about Hillary Clinton?

"I think Hillary's fantastic," she said. "But I think it's too soon for Hillary to run. This may sound odd, but a woman should be past her sexuality when she runs. She still has sexual power, and I don't think people will accept that. It's too threatening."

Then Madonna weighed in. In an Out magazine interview, she said she was equally concerned about Clinton's chances of winning. The pop icon reportedly said she thought the former first lady should "go for it" in 2008. But she wondered if the time was right for Americans to put their trust in a woman president.

"You've got to start somewhere in terms of women leading the U.S.," Madonna is quoted as saying. "In Europe and in Asia and elsewhere, women have ruled over millions. It's not an abstract or frightening or out-of-the-box concept.

"But in America, men are still afraid of women. And women, I don't think, trust women. I find that amazing."

A writer for More magazine took up the matter with Susan Sarandon. The actress was blunt. "I find Hillary Clinton to be a great disappointment," she said in the interview, which appears in this month's issue.

"She seems to be a very bright woman. I've met her. But she's lost her progressive following because of her caution and centrist approach. It bothered me when she voted for the war."

Late Nite Jokes

Leno

"Basic Instinct 2" made only $3 million over the weekend and came in at 10th place at the box office. I guess everyone's basic instinct is to not see it.

Al Gore turned 58 years old over the weekend. His party was so boring that everyone left before they sang him Happy Birthday.

65% of people say that cheating on your income tax is worse than cheating on your spouse. The other 35% were women.

Monday, April 3, 2006

Immigration 'Intimidation'

Arizona Rep. J.D. Hayworth said Saturday that the pro-illegal immigration demonstrations that have swept the nation in the last two weeks send a message of "intimidation" to the general public, which overwhelmingly supports tougher measures on border security.

"To those who say this is simply freedom of expression, I would beg to differ," Hayworth told Westwood One radio host Monica Crowley. "Because under-girding this is the intimation of intimidation."

The Arizona Republican complained: "When you see the Mexican flags and other flags - rather than American flags - being hoisted at these demonstrations, you essentially are getting this message: 'Yes, we are here illegally. No, we do not believe this to be your country. We do not believe in your laws . . . and we don't believe you're going to do anything about it.'"

Hayworth rejected comparisons between the immigration protests and the 1960s civil rights movement, saying the new demonstrations are "totally different."

Back then, he said: "United States citizens were lawfully petitioning their government and assembling for the redress of grievances - specifically that lawful, legal citizens were denied their rights because of the color of their skin."
"What you have at these new demonstrations are non-citizens asking for special rights," Hayworth told Crowley.

Sunday, April 2, 2006

Blacks, Hispanics, Poor Favor Immigration Crackdown

Contrary to conventional wisdom, minorities and the poor overwhelmingly favor a get tough approach on illegal immigration - as they proved just two years ago by supporting Arizona's Proposition 200 in a landslide.

As the 2004 election approached, the immigration crackdown, which proposed denying state services to anyone who couldn't prove they were in the country legally, was decried by critics as "draconian" and "xenophobic."

The proposal was trashed by Arizona's business community. All the state's big newspapers came out against it. Governor Janet Napolitano, Sen. John McCain and Sen. Jon Kyl echoed their opposition. The Chamber of Commerce and the labor unions opposed Prop 200 as well.

Proponents of the measure were outspent by almost two to one in the final days of the campaign.

And yet Prop 200 passed by a landslide - 56 to 44 percent, with the measure garnering its strongest support from minorities and the poor.

Exit polls showed that 65 percent of blacks, Native Americans and Asians backed Prop 200. But they were pikers compared to the working poor.

Among those with family incomes of $15,000 or less, 72 percent wanted Arizona to use Prop 200 to crackdown on illegals.

What about Hispanic voters, who pundits repeatedly warn will punish illegal immigration foes in Washington by withdrawing their support?

Almost half of Arizona's Latino voters - 47 percent - cast their ballots for Prop 200.

Saturday, April 1, 2006

Bush 'Scapegoating' Hispanics

Democratic Party chief Howard Dean accused President Bush and the Republican Party on Friday of exploiting the immigration issue for political gain by scapegoating Hispanics.

Dean and Bush agree on the legislation at the heart of the debate. Both support a Senate bill that would expand guest-worker programs for an estimated 400,000 immigrants each year.

However, at a speech in an Oakland union hall, the 2004 Democratic presidential candidate sought to tie Bush to a much tougher House bill that would tighten borders and make it a crime to be in the United States illegally or to offer aid to illegal immigrants. Bush does not back the House bill.

"This is a nonsensical proposal put out by far right-wingers in the Republican Party who have been endorsed for re-election by the president of the United States," Dean said. "The president has a moral obligation to rein in the right-wing extremists in his party and stop this divisive rhetoric about immigrants."

Dean devoted much of his short speech here to the immigration debate, which has taken center stage in Washington this election year and touched off mass demonstrations elsewhere. More than 500,000 immigration-rights activists marched in downtown Los Angeles on Saturday, largely to protest the House measure.

Bush has spent much of his career courting Hispanic voters, the nation's fastest-growing voting bloc, and he has helped double the GOP's share of the Hispanic vote since 2000.

Nevertheless, Dean accused Bush and fellow Republicans of demagoguery in the immigration debate, saying it fit with a long-standing pattern. He cited the president's opposition to the University of Michigan's affirmative-action program and Bush's decision to "pick on" homosexuals - an apparent reference to the gay marriage issue in the 2004 election.

"In 2006 it's immigrants. That's what their strategy is on the Republican side: divide people, scapegoat them, set them aside, point the finger at them," Dean said. "Well, that may be good for the Republican Party, but it's bad for America, and we're not going to do that."

During his remarks criticizing Bush, Dean was interrupted by a shout of "Impeach!"

A spokeswoman for the Republican National Committee did not immediately return a call for comment.

In Mexico, Bush said the United States must enforce the laws protecting borders but he also repeated his support for a "guest worker program that would allow undocumented immigrants already in the country to remain.

Late Nite Jokes

Leno

Tomorrow is April Fool's Day. Or as a lot of people are calling it "President's Day".

President Bush is back from his Mexican trip. While he was there the people were very nice to him. A lot of people greeted him with the only English phrases they knew, "Welcome to Wal-Mart. Can I help you?"

While President Bush was down there he spoke about the immigration problem. To give you an idea how out of hand our immigration policy is there were 800 more people on the plane coming home than when he flew over there.

It was revealed today that a one time driver for President Clinton...the guy who was driving President Clinton around was in the country illegally. He's driving the president...imagine that. I never thought I would see the day when Clinton would be involved with someone who's illegal. Barely legal, maybe. But not illegal.

This week senators passed a limited ethics bill. It's something congress knows a lot about. Limited ethics.

The movie "Basic Instinct 2” and Ice Age 2” opened today. Which is perfect. There's a movie for Bill and a movie for Hillary.

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