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Monday, June 30, 2008

Gen. Wesley Clark Denigrates McCain's Heroism

Retired Gen. Wesley Clark, a former Democratic presidential candidate now supporting Barack Obama, said Sunday John McCain's military service does not automatically qualify him to be commander in chief.

Underscoring during a national television appearance a position he has been expressing for several weeks, Clark said performing heroic military service is not a substitute for gaining command experience.

"In the matters of national security policy making, it's a matter of understanding risk," he said on CBS' "Face the Nation." "It's a matter of gauging your opponents and it's a matter of being held accountable. John McCain's never done any of that in his official positions. I certainly honor his service as a prisoner of war. He was a hero to me and to hundreds of thousands and millions of others in the armed forces, as a prisoner of war.

"He has been a voice on the Senate Armed Services Committee and he has traveled all over the world, but he hasn't held executive responsibility," Clark said. "That large squadron in the Navy that he commanded _ that wasn't a wartime squadron."

Moderator Bob Schieffer, who raised the issue by citing similar remarks Clark has made previously, noted that Obama hadn't had those experiences nor had he ridden in a fighter plane and been shot down. "Well, I don't think riding in a fighter plane and getting shot down is a qualification to be president," Clark replied.

In a March conference call with reporters while he was still backing Hillary Rodham Clinton, Clark said: "Everybody admires John McCain's service as a fighter pilot, his courage as a prisoner of war. There's no issue there. He's a great man and an honorable man. But having served as a fighter pilot _ and I know my experience as a company commander in Vietnam _ that doesn't prepare you to be commander in chief in terms of dealing with the national strategic issues that are involved. It may give you a feeling for what the troops are going through in the process, but it doesn't give you the experience first hand of the national strategic issues."

He reiterated that position last week in an article on The Huffington Post Web site.

"If Barack Obama's campaign wants to question John McCain's military service, that's their right," McCain spokesman Brian Rogers said after Clark's appearance Sunday. "But let's please drop the pretense that Barack Obama stands for a new type of politics. The reality is he's proving to be a typical politician who is willing to say anything to get elected, including allowing his campaign surrogates to demean and attack John McCain's military service record."

Sunday, June 29, 2008

U.S. May Face Terror Attack In 2009

Sen. Joe Lieberman warns the United States will likely face a terrorist attack in 2009 and feels Republican presidential nominee John McCain will be better prepared to handle the imminent attack than Democratic rival Barack Obama.

"Our enemies will test the new president early,” Lieberman says during on interview Sunday on CBS’ “Face the Nation.”

“Remember the truck bombing of the World Trade Center happened in the first year of the Clinton administration, and 9/11 happened in the first year of the Bush administration," he notes.

Lieberman, a four-term former Democratic incumbent from Connecticut who now aligns himself with the Independent Party, says he prefers Sen. McCain’s approach to foreign policy over that of Sen. Obama’s, citing McCain’s experience “will make the United States' enemies weak and [its] allies strong.”

McCain “knows the world," Lieberman explains. "He's been tested, and he's ready to protect the security of the American people."

Lieberman says the United States is in desperate need of a commander-in-chief who will be prepared to lead the nation on day one of taking office. McCain, he concedes, is that person.

“We’re in a war against Islamic extremists who attacked us on 9/11, and they’ve been trying to attack us in many ways since then,” Lieberman reminds. “We’ve been very fortunate as a result of 9/11 reform legislation which Senator McCain championed.”

Lieberman says McCain is the candidate best prepared to take the reigns of President of the United States on January 20, 2009, because “he doesn’t need any training.”

Commenting on the agreement the Bush administration reached last week with North Korea, whereby the former rogue country officially was taken off the list of states that sponsor terrorism, Lieberman is optimistic, yet cautious.

“It’s hopeful, and I think Senator McCain feels the same way,” Lieberman admits, “but we’re not going to know whether this is a significant step forward or not for about five years. It’s only the beginning.”

Lieberman points out that North Korea only made a partial disclosure of what it had promised prior to the agreement.

“Yes, they told us what they’ve done with plutonium to make bombs, but they really haven’t told us about how many bombs they have,” Lieberman says.

“And they haven’t told us what they’ve down with uranium,” he adds, noting that at the same time the partial agreement was reached, U.S. officials reportedly found uranium residue – used to make highly enriched uranium bombs – on some of the documents North Korea submitted.

“They [the North Koreans] have a lot of work to do, but it’s a beginning,” Lieberman concedes.

“You’ve got to 'mistrust and verify,' he adds, paraphrasing a term oft-repeated by Ronald Reagan in reference to the former president’s foreign policy negotiations.

“This is an agreement [with North Korea] that the next president – with a combination of strength and a willingness and intention to improve our relations – will have to carry forward,” Lieberman says.

“I believe John McCain has both of those capabilities.”

Lieberman acknowledges that he and McCain have had “good-faith disagreements on some issues,” in the past, such as McCain’s willingness to appoint justices to the Supreme Court who might overturn Roe v. Wade, but that the two generally agree on the larger issues the nation struggles to resolve.

“We respect each others positions,” he says.

“I agree with [McCain] on big issues like foreign and defense policy, climate change, and lobbying and ethics reform. But where we disagree, that’s the point. It’s time that people who disagree get together for the benefit of the country. We’ve got to forget our loyalties to the Democrat and Republican parties and pay our loyalties to America,” Lieberman says.

“Our enemies in the world,” he asserts, “will fear and respect John McCain. Our allies will trust and like him.”

Saturday, June 28, 2008

Low 'Good' Cholesterol Linked to Poor Memory

WASHINGTON - Middle-aged people with low levels of so-called good cholesterol may be at higher risk for memory decline that could foreshadow Alzheimer's disease or other forms of dementia, European researchers said on Monday.

The study, involving about 3,700 British men and women, found that falling levels of high-density lipoprotein, or HDL, cholesterol were linked to declining memory by age 60. Such memory declines often precede the development of dementia such as Alzheimer's in the elderly.

Experts predict increasing numbers of people worldwide will develop Alzheimer's in the coming decades as populations in many countries grow older. Scientists are trying to identify risk factors that may appear years before the onset of dementia to help find ways to prevent or postpone it.

"Considering the way the population is aging -- the 65-plus age group being the fastest-growing age group -- we are facing a dementia time bomb," said Archana Singh-Manoux of the French National Institute for Health and Medical Research and the University College London, who led the study.

Singh-Manoux said she hoped the findings will focus attention on the possible role of higher levels of HDL cholesterol in protecting against memory loss.

The researchers looked at blood cholesterol readings and the results of a simple memory test collected when the people in the study were on average 55 years old and then again when they were on average 60.

WORD QUIZ

In the memory test, the participants had 20 words read to them, and then were asked to write down in 2 minutes all the words they could remember.

At age 55, those with low HDL cholesterol had a 27-percent higher risk of memory loss when compared to those with high HDL. At age 60, those with low HDL had a 53-percent higher risk of memory loss compared to those with high HDL levels.

The study did not track whether or not the people went on to develop dementia.

Low HDL was defined as less than 40 milligrams per deciliter (mg/dL) and high HDL was defined as at least 60 mg/dL in the study, published in the American Heart Association's journal Arteriosclerosis, Thrombosis and Vascular Biology.

Cholesterol is a fatty substance made naturally by the body and also found in many foods. High HDL levels can cut heart attack risk.

As opposed to low-density lipoprotein (LDL) cholesterol that can build up in artery walls, making them hard and narrow, HDL cholesterol takes excess cholesterol back to the liver.

LDL cholesterol is dubbed the "bad" cholesterol.

In the study, total levels of cholesterol and triglycerides -- another type of fat found in the blood -- had no association with memory decline.

Singh-Manoux said the study did not look at the reasons that HDL cholesterol may protect memory. She said one possible explanation is that it wards off formation of beta-amyloid plaques in the brain that are a hallmark of Alzheimer's.

Previous studies have identified other early risk factors for Alzheimer's disease. In March, U.S. researchers found that having a big belly in middle age appears to greatly increase one's risk of developing Alzheimer's or another form of dementia decades later.

Late Nite Jokes

Late Show Top Ten

Top Ten Things You Don't Want To Hear At The Beach

10. "You're going to have to put on a top — oh, sorry, sir"

9. "Forget about sharks, I thought I saw a tomato in the water"

8. "Due to the mortgage crisis, we're foreclosing your sand castle"

7. "We're out of mayo; use the Coppertone"

6. "Wow, that lifeguard can really put away the gin"

5. "The water? It's about 11 miles that way"

4. "I know you're not drowning, but would you like mouth-to-mouth anyway?"

3. "Giant squid! Run for your lives!"

2. "Are you here for the Al Qaeda summer picnic?"

1. "Now where did I bury Grandpa?"

David Letterman

It's so hot, everybody feels like going to the beach. In fact, today, former Gov. of New York Eliot Spitzer hired a girl named Sandy.

My family gets together with me every Fourth of July. Two years ago, we saw my uncle drinking out of a flask . . . turns out it was charcoal lighter fluid.

Next month all the hookers in New York leave for Minneapolis for the Republican Convention.

Sen. Larry Craig has already booked his airport restroom.

Craig Ferguson

It’s Michael Vick’s birthday. He won’t be celebrating because he’s in prison. But dogs all over America are going crazy.

They’re all saying, “Who’s your bitch now?”

Today is independence day for Madagascar. That’s where the pirates used to hang out and do “piraty” things . . . like drink rum . . . powder their cannon balls . . . get into sword fights . . . like a party at Elton John’s house.

Jimmy Kimmel Live!

The fourth of July is a week away . . . I’m already trying to figure out which figure to blow off.

It’s the last weekend in California to drive and talk on the cell phone without a headset. Starting Tuesday, if you’re caught talking on the phone without a hands-free device, you get hit with a $20 fine. So they are not screwing around. That’s almost an eighth of a tank of gas.

One nice thing — now that I will have my hands free, it’s easier to return gun fire with motorists.

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Friday, June 27, 2008

McCain Backs Gun Decision, Obama Straddles Issue

WASHINGTON -- John McCain welcomed a Supreme Court decision invalidating a District of Columbia handgun ban. Barack Obama sought to straddle the subject by saying he favors an individual's right to bear firearms as well as a government's right to regulate them.

The hotly contentious issue surfaced in the presidential campaign Thursday after the Supreme Court ruled that Americans have a constitutional right to own guns and struck down the 32-year-old D.C. ban.

McCain, the Republican presidential nominee-in-waiting, heralded the justices' action as "a landmark victory for Second Amendment freedom."

Voicing a stance that could help him woo conservatives and libertarians, McCain said, "This ruling does not mark the end of our struggle against those who seek to limit the rights of law-abiding citizens. We must always remain vigilant in defense of our freedoms."

His Democratic rival, Obama, issued a more carefully worded statement apparently aimed at both moderate voters and his liberal base. The statement from Obama, who has long said local governments should be able to regulate guns, did not specifically say whether Obama agreed with overturning the specific D.C. ban. But he said Thursday's ruling "will provide much-needed guidance to local jurisdictions across the country."

"I have always believed that the Second Amendment protects the right of individuals to bear arms, but I also identify with the need for crime-ravaged communities to save their children from the violence that plagues our streets through commonsense, effective safety measures," Obama said.

Obama said his view was supported by the court's ruling that the Constitution does not permit "the absolute prohibition of handguns." That language "reinforces that if we act responsibly, we can both protect the constitutional right to bear arms and keep our communities and our children safe," Obama said.

Both presidential candidates endorse an individual's right to bear arms. But they strongly differ beyond that. McCain has had a mostly conservative record on the issue; Obama, a mostly liberal record.

Other than a few departures, McCain is largely in line with the National Rifle Association's hardline support for gun rights. He voted against a ban on assault-style weapons and for shielding gun-makers and dealers from civil damage suits. But he broke with the NRA to favor requiring background checks at gun shows and has taken heat for pushing through campaign finance legislation that gun-rights advocates say muzzled their free speech.

Obama has voted to leave gun-makers and dealers open to lawsuits. He also took largely liberal positions on gun laws while in the Illinois legislature, including backing a ban on all forms of semiautomatic weapons and tighter state restrictions generally on firearms.

Campaigning in Cincinnati, McCain claimed Obama has reversed course on the issue. Obama told FOX Business Network that he's been consistent.

The Democrat's campaign said a spokesman made an "inartful" statement when he said in November that Obama believed the D.C. law was constitutional. But Obama himself did not correct a debate moderator who repeated the position in February.

"You said in Idaho recently, I'm quoting here, 'I have no intention of taking away folks' guns.' But you support the D.C. handgun ban and you've said that it's constitutional," said the moderator, Leon Harris of Washington television station WJLA. Obama nodded as Harris spoke, nodding and saying, "Right, right."

"How can you reconcile those two different positions?" Harris asked.

Obama answered that the United States has conflicting traditions of gun ownership and street violence that results from illegal handgun use. "So, there is nothing wrong, I think, with a community saying we are going to take those illegal handguns off the streets," Obama said.

The Obama campaign argued that Obama was simply acknowledging the question by saying "right."

In other instances, Obama refused to articulate a position when asked whether he thought the D.C. ban was constitutional.

The campaign would not answer directly Thursday when asked whether the candidate agreed with the court that the D.C. ban was unconstitutional, simply pointing back to his statement.

Thursday, June 26, 2008

James Dobson Terrified by President Obama

In a one-two punch, Focus on the Family’s Dr. James Dobson ripped into Barack Obama, saying that Obama terrifies him, while on Tuesday night’s "Hannity & Colmes" show, former Arkansas Gov. Mike Huckabee warned that the Illinois senator’s views on such issues as partial birth abortion takes away the equality of unborn children, and that Obama makes him uncomfortable.

Dobson appeared on Sean Hannity’s radio show Tuesday.

During the show, Hannity commented that he found Obama to be dishonest overall, noting that “I think he was dishonest to the American people” when speaking of his former pastor and spiritual adviser the Rev. Jeremiah Wright.

Obama said that Wright had never expressed his vitriol to Obama stating "this is not the man I knew" though he had sat in a pew and listened to him for 20 years.

Said Hannity, “I think he’s fundamentally dishonest and has been on a variety of issues, the most recent is his flipping and flopping on public financing, etc. I think he’s got some character issues as relates to honesty.”

Dobson then unleashed this broadside against Obama: “What terrifies me is the thought that he might be our president . . . might be in the Oval Office . . . might be the leader of the free world . . . might be the commander in chief — because as I said a minute ago, the man is dangerous, especially in regard to this issue of morality. I can’t tell you how strongly I feel about this.

“He’s saying that my morality has to conform to his because we all have to agree or else it’s not democratic. Do you remember the position that he’s taken on the Born Alive Protection Act that was passed in Congress in 2002? It kept medical people who were unsuccessful in killing an unborn baby — they took their best shot at [the baby] and [the baby] managed to limp into the world — and so Congress said if he comes out alive you can’t murder him.

“That came to the fore of the state of Illinois legislature, and the only person to oppose it was Barack Obama and he was chairman of the committee, and got up and spoke in opposition to it. [He said] ‘We’re saying that a person is entitled to the kinds of protections provided to a child — a 9-month old child delivered to term — it would essentially bar abortions because the Equal Protection clause [that he was opposed to] does not allow somebody to kill a child.’

“This is what this man believes; [that it’s acceptable] to kill children that you don’t want or need . . .”

Dobson asked, “Am I required in a democracy to conform my efforts in the political arena to his bloody notion of what’s right in regard to tiny babies?”

During Tuesday night’s "Hannity & Colmes" show on Fox Cable, after Alan Colmes asked if “the rest of us” are required to conform to Dr. Dobson’s view about tiny babies, Huckabee said, “ It’s about the collective view of Americans who believe that all people are created equal, and that every human life has intrinsic value and worth. And when Barack Obama believes that we can have partial birth abortion, then we’ve taken away the equality of that unborn child and we’ve said that he’s expendable — that he’s not as valuable as he would be if he were born five minutes later.

“That defies something beyond anybody’s politics. That goes to the heart of what we are as a civilization . . . we have elevated and celebrated life. That’s why we don’t leave our soldiers on the battlefield when they are wounded. We say to leave no man behind, because we don’t view their worth and value as their soldiering, we view it as their personhood.

“And when you rob a human life of its personhood, as you do with the kind of abortion policies that Barack Obama supports, that’s a serious issue, I think, for many of us who don’t see this as a religious issue but see it as something even deeper.”

Responding to Hannity’s complaint that Obama lacks core values guiding him, Huckabee said, “it is a concern; and I think it’s a legitimate one, when you have a person who says I want to change the politics of Washington but then becomes one that’s even being criticized by the leftist media because he’s decided he is going to bypass all the very public financing that he so embraced until he could get more money into his coffers by not doing it.

“That’s exactly the kind of thing that just makes people say, There he is — another politician.”

Asked if he agreed with Dobson’s statement that the idea of Barack Obama as president terrorizes him, Huckabee said: “There are many things about Barack Obama that make me very uncomfortable. There are potholes and there are sinkholes and what Barack Obama has done is to drive his campaign into a sinkhole by saying some things regarding religion that I think will make people who are religious very uncomfortable.

“Am I concerned? Yes. We don’t need to make up things about Barack Obama, because I think that the record is going to be the best weapon to defeat him.

"We need to ask what is it that he believes. What he believes is that the Sermon on the Mount is outdated.”

Huckabee added, “I always found it interesting that liberals want it both ways — they don’t want to bring religion into the public square unless they bring it and get to reinterpret it.”

Late Nite Jokes

David Letterman

Great news for New York City garbage men: They can now wear shorts in the summer. It’s all part of the mayor’s plan to beautify the city.

I know what you’re thinking: New York City has garbage men?

John McCain has a bandage on his head. Here’s what happened: He tried to answer the iron.

Bill Clinton is campaigning for Obama. President Bush is campaigning for McCain. And I’m thinking, “Wow. This could really be the year for Ralph Nader.”

Craig Ferguson

The Democrats have announced there will be no fried foods at their conventions. Hooray! That means Al Gore won’t be there.

It’s Carly Simon’s and George Michael’s birthday today. Both are very different of course — one’s an older woman who apparently slept her way through Hollywood . . . the other’s Carly Simon.

The Dutch think the world’s going to end on Dec. 12, 2012. It has to do with the Mayan calendar. That and a lot of pot smoking.

Jimmy Kimmel Live!

Next week is the Fourth of July. I will be celebrating as I always do. I get completely naked; I go up on the roof and sing the national anthem at the top of my lungs.

The networks always run these fireworks safety videos to make sure no one has any fun on the Fourth of July.

I know they’re supposed to make us scared of fireworks, but after seeing them I feel this intense desire to blow something up.

The only thing we learn from these videos is it’s a bad time of year to be a mannequin.

Wednesday, June 25, 2008

Pelosi Defends Obama Over Rev. Wright Ties

House Speaker Nancy Pelosi has come out in defense of Barack Obama over his ties to the Rev. Jeremiah Wright, saying the controversial pastor won’t affect voters’ decisions in November.

“Look, I am just glad [Obama] went to church,” Pelosi told Fox News’ Greta Van Susteren on Tuesday night.

Pelosi, a Catholic, said she doesn’t believe that politicians “should be held accountable for everything that their pastors say in their church.

“I have disagreements with some of … my own pastors and churches that I go to and if I had to walk out every time I had an area of disagreement, then I would be hard put. It’s a disagreement.”

Referring to two recent Democratic wins in special elections in conservative-leaning Congressional districts, Pelosi said: “I do not think that the judgment that will be made by the American people will be about Rev. Wright. It didn’t work in Mississippi and it didn’t work in Louisiana. That’s where the Republicans tried to pin that on our Democratic candidates.”

Obama's relationship with Wright came under fire after videos were made public earlier this year in which Wright claimed that the United States brought 9/11 on itself and people should say "God damn America" instead of "God bless America."

Obama finally broke with Wright on April 29, calling his remarks "divisive and destructive."

Late Nite Jokes

Jay Leno

Government figures released by President Bush show we are not in a recession. Unless, of course, you have to buy gas or food or some other luxury item . . .

At a press conference, President Bush blasted Congress for not allowing oil exploration in the Alaskan Wildlife Reserve. Democrats said it wouldn’t do any good, because it wouldn’t produce oil for 10 years. You know, the same thing they said 10 years ago.

Barack Obama’s former pastor is getting more and more bizarre. He now says that the high price of gas is due to Dick Cheney and his friends. OK, he’s right on that . . .

I thought about that as I was filling up at a gas station today, or as I like to call it, Grand Theft Auto.

Late Show Top Ten

Top Ten Things Overheard on Hillary Clinton's First Day Back at Work

10. "Nice of you to show up"

9. "Did you win?"

8. "We chipped in for a welcome back pantsuit"

7. "Should I take the Madame President nameplate off your door?"

6. "Hillary's choking another superdelegate"

5. "On the bright side, you can once again partake in endless debates about agricultural subsidies"

4. "Senator Clinton, please stop throwing wads of paper at Senator Obama's head"

3. "I can't believe your shrill message of fear didn't resonate"

2. "Please stop taunting her, Senator Kerry"

1. "We'll begin as soon as Senator Craig returns from the restroom"

David Letterman

Hillary Clinton is out campaigning with Barack Obama. She says if it goes well, she’ll consider making him her running mate.

Barack Obama has started a fashion craze in Italy. Italian designers have taken his look and they’re turning it into fashion. Don’t sell John McCain short — he’s also influencing fashion. He has popularized the “something on your chin” look.

Scientists have come up with a pill that makes you less shy. It makes you more outgoing; it gives you more personality. And I’m thinking, “Great — now I have to bring two pills on a date.”

Craig Ferguson

It was very hot in L.A. It was so hot, Kirstie Ally was using her swimming pool to cook spaghetti.

Arnold Schwarzenegger and Sylvester Stallone are going to be in a movie together. They’re doing a movie called, “What the Hell Are They Saying?”

Arnold Schwarzenegger met John McCain today. There was an awkward moment when they shook hands and McCain’s hand broke off.

Jimmy Kimmel Live!

An interesting study was released today. People in California are less convinced there is a God than people of any state in the country. On an unrelated note, more than 800 wildfires are burning out of control here.

There you go — God is real; he’s mad; and he’s trying to kill us.

It’s very hard for firefighters to get them under control, because the vegetation up in northern California, where the fires are, is about 40 percent marijuana plants.

Support crews are supposed to be bringing in supplies, but they keep bringing in Doritos and chocolate milkshakes.

Tuesday, June 24, 2008

Obama Rejects Nader Claim on White Talk

CHICAGO -- Barack Obama dismissed Ralph Nader's claim that the Democratic candidate is trying to "talk white" and has failed to challenge the power structure to appeal to "white guilt."

Obama told reporters on Wednesday that Nader, who has run for president several times, including 2000 and 2004, was trying to get attention with "an inflammatory statement."

In a story published Wednesday, the Denver-based Rocky Mountain News reported that Nader said he was not impressed with Obama and that the senator was playing down poverty issues. The interview took place Monday in Washington, the News reported.

"There's only one thing different about Barack Obama when it comes to being a Democratic presidential candidate. He's half African-American," Nader said. "Whether that will make any difference, I don't know. I haven't heard him have a strong crackdown on economic exploitation in the ghettos. Payday loans, predatory lending, asbestos, lead. What's keeping him from doing that? Is it because he wants to talk white? He doesn't want to appear like Jesse Jackson?"

When asked if Obama does try to "talk white," Nader replied, "Of course." He also said that Obama doesn't want to appear to be "another politically threatening African-American politician."

"He wants to appeal to white guilt," Nader said. "You appeal to white guilt not by coming on as black is beautiful, black is powerful. Basically he's coming on as someone who is not going to threaten the white power structure, whether it's corporate or whether it's simply oligarchic. And they love it. Whites just eat it up."

Obama said Nader hadn't been paying attention because he has discussed predatory lending, housing foreclosures and similar economic issues throughout his campaign.

"I think it's a shame because if you look at his legacy in terms of consumer protections, it's an extraordinary one. But at this point, he's somebody who's trying to get attention and whose campaign hasn't gotten any traction," Obama said.

Nader, 74, is a consumer advocate and political activist.

Late Nite Jokes

David Letterman

There’s an epidemic of snapping turtles in Central Park. I saw one today trying to mate with a bike helmet.

Hard shells . . . snap viciously. Like most of the women I meet here in New York City.

Heat wave in Southern California — 116 degrees in the Valley. So hot, Lindsay Lohan checked herself into a Jamba Jiuce.

John McCain and Barack Obama are bickering over what to do when they catch Osama bin Laden. Obama wants to bring him to trial. John McCain wants to shoot him. I said, “Guys — how about somebody finding him first!”

Monday, June 23, 2008

Dobson Accuses Obama of 'Distorting' Bible

As Barack Obama broadens his outreach to evangelical voters, one of the movement's biggest names, James Dobson, accuses the likely Democratic presidential nominee of distorting the Bible and pushing a "fruitcake interpretation" of the Constitution.

The criticism, to be aired Tuesday on Dobson's Focus on the Family radio program, comes shortly after an Obama aide suggested a meeting at the organization's headquarters here, said Tom Minnery, senior vice president for government and public policy at Focus on the Family.

The conservative Christian group provided The Associated Press with an advance copy of the pre-taped radio segment, which runs 18 minutes and highlights excerpts of a speech Obama gave in June 2006 to the liberal Christian group Call to Renewal. Obama mentions Dobson in the speech.

"Even if we did have only Christians in our midst, if we expelled every non-Christian from the United States of America, whose Christianity would we teach in the schools?" Obama said. "Would we go with James Dobson's or Al Sharpton's?" referring to the civil rights leader.

Dobson took aim at examples Obama cited in asking which Biblical passages should guide public policy -- chapters like Leviticus, which Obama said suggests slavery is OK and eating shellfish is an abomination, or Jesus' Sermon on the Mount, "a passage that is so radical that it's doubtful that our own Defense Department would survive its application."

"Folks haven't been reading their Bibles," Obama said.

Dobson and Minnery accused Obama of wrongly equating Old Testament texts and dietary codes that no longer apply to Jesus' teachings in the New Testament.

"I think he's deliberately distorting the traditional understanding of the Bible to fit his own worldview, his own confused theology," Dobson said.

"... He is dragging biblical understanding through the gutter."

Joshua DuBois, director of religious affairs for Obama's campaign, said in a statement that a full reading of Obama's speech shows he is committed to reaching out to people of faith and standing up for families. "Obama is proud to have the support of millions of Americans of faith and looks forward to working across religious lines to bring our country together," DuBois said.

Dobson reserved some of his harshest criticism for Obama's argument that the religiously motivated must frame debates over issues like abortion not just in their own religion's terms but in arguments accessible to all people.

He said Obama, who supports abortion rights, is trying to govern by the "lowest common denominator of morality," labeling it "a fruitcake interpretation of the Constitution."

"Am I required in a democracy to conform my efforts in the political arena to his bloody notion of what is right with regard to the lives of tiny babies?" Dobson said. "What he's trying to say here is unless everybody agrees, we have no right to fight for what we believe."

The program was paid for by a Focus on the Family affiliate whose donations are taxed, Dobson said, so it's legal for that group to get more involved in politics.

Last week, DuBois, a former Assemblies of God associate minister, called Minnery for what Minnery described as a cordial discussion. He would not go into detail, but said Dubois offered to visit the ministry in August when the Democratic National Convention is in Denver.

A possible Obama visit was not discussed, but Focus is open to one, Minnery said.

McCain also has not met with Dobson. A McCain campaign staffer offered Dobson a meeting with McCain recently in Denver, Minnery said. Dobson declined because he prefers that candidates visit the Focus on the Family campus to learn more about the organization, Minnery said.

Dobson has not backed off his statement that he could not in good conscience vote for McCain because of concerns over the Arizona senator's conservative credentials. Dobson has said he will vote in November but has suggested he might not vote for president.

Obama recently met in Chicago with religious leaders, including conservative evangelicals. His campaign also plans thousands of "American Values House Parties," where participants discuss Obama and religion, as well as a presence on Christian radio and blogs.

Sunday, June 22, 2008

Obama Fundraising Machine Slows Down

Democrat Barack Obama reported Saturday his most modest fundraising haul of the year following his unprecedented decision to reject public financing for his White House bid.

Obama collected just under 22 million dollars in May, the last month of campaigning in his grueling nominating duel with Senator Hillary Clinton, according to figures released by the Federal Election Commission.

Until last month, Obama had raised one million dollars a day, or no less than 31 million dollars a month between January and April.

For his part, Republican rival John McCain broke his own record in May, but his 21 million dollars still left him behind Obama's fundraising juggernaut.

Obama has raised a record-shattering 287 million dollars since the start of the campaign, fueled by more than 1.5 million small donors who give repeatedly over the Internet. McCain has collected 117.6 million dollars so far.

Obama ended the month of May with 43 million dollars on hand, a little less than the 46 million dollars he had left in April. McCain started June with 31.6 million dollars on hand.

The figures emerged two days after Obama became the first candidate to renounce the public financing system that was instituted in 1976 to control spending by White House hopefuls after the Watergate scandal that felled president Richard Nixon.

His decision to reject the 85 million dollars in public financing and spending limits that come with it allows him to tap into his army of private donors who helped him shatter fundraising records.

Defending his decision, the Democratic senator said the system was "broken" and the stakes were too high to allow unrestrained spending by the Republican Party and right-wing groups on behalf of McCain.

But the move has dented his image as a reformer intent on changing politics as usual. McCain has accepted public financing and its restrictions.

Obama "had an opportunity here to demonstrate that he really is a different kind of politician," The Washington Post said in an editorial. "He made a different choice, and anyone can understand why: he's going to raise a ton of money."

The Obama campaign already reported that tens of thousands people responded to his call for donations between Thursday and Saturday.

"68,022 citizens have declared their independence from a broken system by supporting the first presidential campaign truly funded by the people," the campaign said on its website

The Obama camp had set a goal of getting 50,000 people to donate by the July 4 Independence Day holiday. Its new aim is to raise money among 75,000 people.

Obama, meanwhile, has surged to a 15-point lead over McCain in the latest Newsweek poll released Friday -- by far the biggest margin of any recent survey.

The magazine's poll gave Obama 51 percent to 36 percent for McCain among registered voters nationwide -- three times the margin of four to five points that other polls this week have given the Illinois senator.

Obama is enjoying a post-primary bounce after seeing off Clinton's dogged challenge earlier this month, and supporters of the former first lady are flocking to his side, Newsweek said.

"The latest numbers on voter dissatisfaction suggest that Obama may enjoy more than one bounce. The new poll finds that only 14 percent of Americans say they are satisfied with the direction of the country," it reported.

The magazine cautioned that polls this far out from November's election can be unreliable, but noted that Obama was performing much better than either of the Democrats' last two nominees, John Kerry and Al Gore, at this stage.

Saturday, June 21, 2008

Priest Who Mocked Clinton Is Back on the Job

The Catholic priest who mocked Sen. Hillary Rodham Clinton has returned to his Chicago parish after a nearly two-week suspension.

The Rev. Michael Pfleger told a cheering congregation Sunday at St. Sabina church he will not let his faults make him "play it safe or become silent."

Cardinal Francis George suspended Pfleger this month after the priest mocked Clinton while preaching at the church Sen. Barack Obama belonged to at the time.

Pfleger pretended during the sermon that he was Clinton crying over "a black man stealing my show."

Ushers at St. Sabina handed out fliers Sunday with a silhouette of boxer Muhammad Ali and the words "Ain't nothing like a comeback."

Late Nite Jokes

Jay Leno

It was so hot today, Barack Obama met with Al Gore just for the shade.

It was so hot, Lou Dobbs hired three illegal aliens to turn their leaf blowers on him.

According to the Pentagon, at least 1,000 nuclear missiles or components in the U.S. arsenal are lost or cannot be located. We can’t even find our own weapons of mass destruction.

Gas costs half as much in Mexico — 2 bucks a gallon. A lot of Americans are flocking to Tijuana to fill their tanks. And if you bring back 15 or 20 illegal aliens, you can use the carpool lane.

Late Show Top Ten

Top Ten Signs You Have a Bad Travel Agent

10. Hotel stay is six days and two nights

9. Accepts payment in the form of personal check, credit card or freshly harvested kidneys

8. Won't let you go on vacation for more than a week because he'll miss you

7. When you're in New York, he recommends you see a taping of "The Late Show"

6. Instead of the Ritz, you're staying at the Ratz

5. Your "plane ticket" is a post-it note with the handwritten message "Please admit one to the airplane"

4. You have a layover at Laguardia Airport . . . an eight-day layover

3. No number 3 — writer on vacation

2. Forget the restroom — you're riding in a JetBlue wheel well

1. Asks you to deliver a brown paper bag to a guy named Nikoli

David Letterman

Hot in New York City. To give you an idea how hot, coming in to work, the navigation lady kept giving me directions to Dairy Queen.

President Bush has ordered his troops to find Osama bin Laden. He really jumped on that one, didn’t he?

The CIA thinks they know where Osama bin Laden is. They think he’s hiding in the mountainous regions of Pamela Anderson.

Conan O'Brien

John McCain’s daughter is writing a children’s book based her father’s life. The children’s book is called, "James and the Giant Prostate.”

Today Ralph Nader attacked Barack Obama for refusing to accept public financing for his campaign and said that Obama was too closely tied to big business. Then the guy sitting next to Nader on the park bench said, "Shut up.”

Britney Spears flew to Mississippi this week to help her sister Jamie Lynn with her new baby. Britney says it’s really important that she spend time with the baby now — because soon it will be busy raising it’s own baby.

Last night, President Bush held a celebration at the White House honoring jazz. There was an awkward moment when Bush said, "This is great . . . it’s just like being in an elevator.”

Craig Ferguson

Christie’s auction house in New York is auctioning off life vests from the Titanic. Why would anyone want a life vest from the Titanic? I’m pretty sure they don’t work.

"The Love Guru" with Mike Meyers opens today. He plays an Indian love guru with a funny accent. Critics say you need more than crappy wigs and a funny accent to make good comedy. And I say, No! That is not true.

His Scottish accent is better than mine.

Jimmy Kimmel Live!

Today is the last day of school for some. Starting tomorrow at 9 a.m., teenagers all across the country will settle in on their couches for three straight months of Grand Theft Auto.

A few others will get summer jobs and earn enough to get to the summer jobs . . . and maybe half-way home.

Some parents send their kids to camp . . . as far away as possible.

Friday, June 20, 2008

Jeb Bush Defends Crist's Oil Drilling

Former Florida Gov. Jeb Bush has come to the aid of his successor, Charlie Crist, and fellow Republican John McCain after the pair caught flak for endorsing offshore oil drilling this week.

Bush, along with most Democratic and Republican politicians in Florida, had opposed oil drilling off the state’s tourism-friendly coastline.

But during a conference call with reporters, Bush said:

“You can protect the natural resources and the coastline of the state and also be part of a national effort to deal with a national security crisis that our country faces right now.

“It’s a huge economic problem for a lot of Americans, which is four-plus dollars a gallon gasoline. It’s a burden that was never anticipated when we were discussing drilling policy 20 years ago, 10 years ago, five years ago, two years ago.

“So I think you’ve got to give people in public life a little bit of room when the context changes for them to also adjust their views.”

Some observers are opining that McCain’s endorsement of offshore drilling will likely damage the presidential candidate’s chances of winning in Florida, where he had been considered the favorite, according to the Los Angeles Times.

Taegan Goddard wrote on the Congressional Quarterly’s Web site: “At best for McCain, Florida is going to be competitive and oil drilling will be a key issue in the campaign. At worst, McCain just seriously hurt his chances in a critical swing state.”

But Bush dismissed that notion, telling reporters: “I don’t think it's going to hurt Sen. McCain. I think the knee-jerk reaction, just to say 'no' without an alternative, you know, it may work when times are good but when times are tough and people are hurting, they’re not going to tolerate that.”

Late Nite Jokes

Jay Leno

Hillary Clinton is taking a month off from her job as senator to rest up from her campaign. How does that work? You’ve been neglecting your job trying to get a better job. You don’t get that job, so you to take a month off from the job you were trying to get out of and go on vacation. Imagine if you tried that with your boss. “Hey boss, listen — I’ve been looking for another job, and I’m exhausted. I want to take a month off. Here’s where you can send my checks.”

Michelle Obama, Barack Obama’s wife, was on “The View” yesterday. She managed to do something on that show that no one else has ever done: She got a word in edgewise.

President Bush spoke at a campaign rally in support of John McCain. They raised millions of dollars, most of which will be used to repair the damage of President Bush supporting John McCain at the campaign rally. So it’s kind of a wash.

Today is Paula Abdul’s birthday. Her friends had a surprise party for her. And someone asked her, “Were you surprised?” And she said, “Yeah — I had no idea it was my birthday.”

David Letterman

Gay people are now allowed to marry in the state of California. Today, Iron Man married The Hulk.

Celebrity birthday: Happy birthday to Paula Abdul — 46 years old today. If you’re looking for a gift, you can’t go wrong with something from Bed Bath & Waaaay Beyond.

Tomorrow is the longest day of the year. Happens every year. That’s right — I’m having lunch with Regis.

Conan O'Brien

Yesterday on “The View,” Barack Obama’s wife Michelle did the "fist-bump" with all the co-hosts, and then she said the fist-bump is “the new high-five.” After hearing this, John McCain asked, “What the hell is a high-five?”

The latest rumor is now that Hillary Clinton lost the Democratic nomination, she’s going to divorce Bill Clinton. Hillary’s exact quote was, “Just because my dream didn’t come true doesn’t mean his shouldn’t.”

Britney Spears says she’s going to move back to Louisiana for a month to help her 17 year-old sister raise her new baby. Britney says she’ll spend the first couple of days getting to know the baby — and the rest of the month teaching it to drive.

In California, Americans are flocking to Tijuana, Mexico to fill up their cars because gas is 50 percent cheaper there. Even better, the gas is free if you take two Mexicans home in your trunk.

Craig Ferguson

Today is Paula Abdul’s birthday. If you haven’t gotten Paula a gift, you can’t go wrong with a new prescription.

Very embarrassing for her at her party: She showed up wearing the same dress as Ryan Seacrest.

Here’s some happy news: Pamela Anderson and Tommy Lee are a couple again. It’s hard to keep track of that pair. And Tommy and Pamela.

Jimmy Kimmel Live!

Britney Spears’ sister, Jaime Lynn, gave birth to a baby girl. Which then gave birth to another baby girl.

If ever there were a job for Super Nanny, this is it. And Spider-Nanny, and Bat Nanny . . . send them all in there.

President bush was in Iowa surveying the flood damage. I’m not sure he learned from his mistakes after Hurricane Katrina [video of Bush fishing].

Barack Obama says he will not accept $85 million of public financing for his campaign. I guess he’s raising more money on his own, but passing on $85 million . . . Here are some things you can buy with $85 million: 85 million items at the 99 cent store . . . $85 million could get you a whole summer’s worth of gas . . . or with $85 million, you could buy Heather Mills.

Thursday, June 19, 2008

McCain Challenges Obama on Terrorism

WASHINGTON -- Republican John McCain paints Democratic rival Barack Obama as naive on foreign policy, weak on national security and, now, soft on terrorism.

Sound familiar?

It should.

President Bush successfully used that line of argument in 2004 against Democrat John Kerry. Republicans sought to do the same in the 2006 congressional elections but failed; Democrats won control of the House and Senate.

Today, McCain _ a different presidential candidate in a political environment dominated by the nation's economic woes _ seemingly has little choice but to criticize Obama the same way. Like those before him, McCain and his surrogates are raising the specter of Sept. 11, 2001, terrorist attacks to do it.

"The Democrats want to go back to a pre-September 11th view of terrorism ... The Democrats, led by Barack Obama, want to go back to being on defense," Rudy Giuliani, the former New York mayor and top McCain surrogate said Wednesday, a day after McCain's campaign claimed Obama is naive and "a perfect manifestation a September 10th mind-set."

Fighting any notion of weakness, Obama quickly cried foul. He accused McCain of "fear-mongering" and said Wednesday: "He's also going to use the Bush-Cheney political playbook that's based on fear."

Sure enough, the politics of fear have resurfaced _ and it's easy to see why.

National security and foreign policy are McCain's signature issues and, historically, a Republican strength. Obama, a first-term Illinois senator, is not nearly as experienced on such matters, and the Democratic Party long has been perceived as weaker than the GOP on the country's safety.

McCain, a four-term Arizona senator, former Navy pilot and Vietnam POW for 5 1/2, has a better chance to win if he can focus voters on national security.

It may be a hard sell.

This year, voters overwhelmingly care more about bread-and-butter concerns as gas prices soar, the housing market slumps and layoffs spike.

An AP-Yahoo News poll in April showed that while three-fourths of people said terrorism was an important issue, voters ranked eight other issues as more important _ the economy, gas prices, health care, the Iraq war, taxes, Social Security, political corruption and education. Of those calling terrorism an important issue, 41 percent said they'd vote for McCain while 30 percent said they'd choose Obama.

Terrorism may not be as potent a campaign issue as it once was.

The country is nearly seven years removed from the 2001 terrorist attacks, and Republicans face the challenge of simplifying the complex issues of fighting terrorism by using a with-them-or-against-them argument. The public has grown more skeptical as holes were poked into everything from Bush's justification for going to war with Iraq to his administration's efforts to expand executive authority in the name of protecting the country.

And so many other factors in this election _ from race and age to experience and competency _ may further muddy the GOP's efforts. Obama, age 46 and a Senate rookie, would be the first black president; McCain, age 71 and a Senate veteran, would be the country's oldest first-term elected president.

Even so, with the GOP facing challenging headwinds, McCain has few options outside of trying to change the conversation by exploiting Obama's vulnerablities on foreign policy. In some ways, it's almost as if McCain is embracing the residue of the Democratic primary in which Hillary Rodham Clinton portrayed herself as stronger and Obama weaker on national security.

Like Clinton, McCain has repeatedly criticized Obama for saying last year that he would be willing to meet _ without preconditions _ with the leaders of Iran, Syria, Venezuela, Cuba and North Korea.

Bush, too, weighed in last month when he hinted that Obama wants to appease terrorists and radicals.

The likely Republican nominee also saw opportunity _ and jumped at it _ when an adviser to the Islamic militant group Hamas said recently: "We like Obama and hope that he will win the election." McCain used the comment in a fundraising appeal and said: "I guarantee you, they're not going to endorse me."

This week, McCain has roundly assailed Obama over his response to the Supreme Court ruling that detainees in Guantanamo Bay, Cuba, have a constitutional right to challenge their indefinite imprisonment in U.S. civilian courts.

Both candidates support shutting down the prison but they staked out opposite positions on the ruling.

Obama applauded the decision, saying it strikes the proper balance between fighting terrorism and "protecting our core values."

McCain derided the ruling as "one of the worst decisions in the history of this country" _ and turned loose his aides and backers, who criticized Obama for talking about using the criminal justice system to prosecute terrorists. His allies turned up the heat after Obama, in an ABC News interview, spoke approvingly of the successful prosecution and imprisonment of those responsible for the 1993 bombing of the World Trade Center, and contrasted their treatment with that of Guantanamo Bay detainees.

Five months before voters go to the polls in a general election that, so far, has focused on the economy, it remains to be seen whether McCain can refocus voters on the threat of terrorism _ that is, short of a terrorist attack changing the race.

Late Nite Jokes

Jay Leno

Barack Obama has said he will visit Iraq. Or as John McCain still calls it, Mesopotamia.

Obama says he wants to visit an area overrun by violent extremists. Sounds like he misses his old church.

Former President Al Gore has endorsed Barack Obama. I think his last endorsement was Stove Top Stuffing.

A new poll shows less than 1 out of 4 Americans now thinks President Bush is doing a good job. That means when President Bush is having dinner with his wife and two daughters, he’s the only one at the table who thinks he’s doing a good job.

Late Show Top Ten

Top Ten Signs You're Drinking Too Much Coffee

10. Your blood type has been reclassified as "espresso"

9. Every morning you go for a quick 47 mile jog

8. As soon as California legalized gay marriage, you got engaged to Mr. Coffee

7. Your after-shave? Hazelnut non-dairy creamer

6. You're tapping your leg like Larry Craig in a men's room stall

5. A Starbucks just opened in your basement

4. Your last words before bypass surgery: "Tell Juan Valdez I love him"

3. Average 80 blinks per minute

2. You named your kids "Tall," "Grande," and "Venti"

1. Unable to sleep, you actually watch "The Late Show"

David Letterman

The Mars Lander has found traces of ice and salt on Mars. Now, it’s looking for tequila.

It also found an old blender.

Last night on Celebrity Circus, Donald Trump used a whip and a chair to train that thing on his head.

Conan O'Brien

In a recent interview, President Bush said he might not be the last President Bush if his brother Jeb decides to run. When he heard this, Jeb said, “Please stop reminding everyone we’re related.”

Hillary Clinton posted a slideshow of campaign photos on her Web site, but none of the pictures showed Bill Clinton. Bill said, “That’s OK. None of the Web sites I go to have pictures of Hillary.”

Yesterday a top Starbucks executive resigned. He will receive a $120 million severance package or three lattes.

Residents of a Romanian village decided to re-elect their dead mayor rather than elect the younger one running against him. When he heard about it, John McCain said, “That’s a good sign.”

Craig Ferguson

Paul McCartney is 66 years old today. Isn’t that the number of the beast?

Congratulations to the NBA champions, the Boston Celtics. Last night they beat the L.A. Lakers by 39 points. Or as Hillary Clinton would say, too close to call.

John McCain announced his energy plan. He’s wants to build 45 nuclear reactors. He’s going to need all that extra power to get him up the stairs.

Michelle Obama was a guest on “The View,” yesterday. She beat up Joy Behar and made out with Elisabeth Hasselbeck.

Wednesday, June 18, 2008

Gore's Home Still Guzzling Energy

In the year since Al Gore took steps to make his home more energy-efficient, the former vice president’s home energy use surged more than 10 percent, according to the Tennessee Center for Policy Research.

“A man’s commitment to his beliefs is best measured by what he does behind the closed doors of his own home,” said Drew Johnson, President of the Tennessee Center for Policy Research. “Al Gore is a hypocrite and a fraud when it comes to his commitment to the environment, judging by his home energy consumption.”

In the past year, Gore’s home burned through 213,210 kilowatt-hours (kWh) of electricity, enough to power 232 average American households for a month.

In February 2007, "An Inconvenient Truth," a film based on a climate change speech developed by Gore, won an Academy Award for best documentary feature. The next day, the Tennessee Center for Policy Research uncovered that Gore’s Nashville home guzzled 20 times more electricity than the average American household.

After the Tennessee Center for Policy Research exposed Gore’s massive home energy use, the former Vice President scurried to make his home more energy-efficient. Despite adding solar panels, installing a geothermal system, replacing existing light bulbs with more efficient models, and overhauling the home’s windows and ductwork, Gore now consumes more electricity than before the “green” overhaul.

Since taking steps to make his home more environmentally-friendly last June, Gore devours an average of 17,768 kWh per month –1,638 kWh more energy per month than before the renovations – at a cost of $16,533. By comparison, the average American household consumes 11,040 kWh in an entire year, according to the Energy Information Administration.

In the wake of becoming the most well-known global warming alarmist, Gore won an Oscar, a Grammy and the Nobel Peace Prize. In addition, Gore saw his personal wealth increase by an estimated $100 million thanks largely to speaking fees and investments related to global warming hysteria.

“Actions speak louder than words, and Gore’s actions prove that he views climate change not as a serious problem, but as a money-making opportunity,” Johnson said. “Gore is exploiting the public’s concern about the environment to line his pockets and enhance his profile.”

The Tennessee Center for Policy Research, a Nashville-based free market think tank and watchdog organization, obtained information about Gore’s home energy use through a public records request to the Nashville Electric Service.

Late Nite Jokes

Jay Leno

George W. Bush says that he has some regrets. He says you don’t get a second chance in his line of work. Really? What was that second term all about?

The Saudis announced today that there is no shortage of oil. They have plenty of oil reserves. In fact they assure us that they have enough oil to keep screwing us well into the next century.

Airlines are now charging $15 to check your first bag — $15 for the first bag. And $30 if you ever want to see that bag again.

Late Show Top Ten

Top Ten Ways The New York Mets Can Turn Things Around

10. Less horseplay, more grab-ass

9. Ask Tiger Woods to switch to baseball

8. Stop leaving games early to beat traffic

7. Convince superdelegates to put them in the playoffs

6. Ask President Bush how he was able to turn things around in Iraq

5. For starters, pay the poor bastards enough to live on

4. Jetpacks

3. Before every game, feed other team tainted to-maters

3. Before every game

2. Replace batting practice with frozen head of Ted Williams and dunk tank

1. Start fixing games like they do in the NBA

David Letterman

Pamela Anderson and Tommy Lee are back together. They’ve already scheduled their first domestic disturbance for Thursday.

Al Gore has now endorsed Barack Obama. This is great — it gives the Obama campaign a much-needed shot of boredom.

You’re getting an endorsement from a guy who won an Academy Award, a Grammy, and he also won a competitive eating contest.

There’s going to be a series of candidate debates. Here’s how it’s going to be: After each question, Barack Obama wants a one-minute response . . . John McCain says after each question he wants a one-minute nap.

Conan O'Brien

Barack Obama’s staff and John McCain’s staff are busy negotiating when the Presidential debates will take place. Obama wants them to be in September — and McCain wants them to be after his nap, but before “Wheel of Fortune.”

Yesterday, Barack Obama said that if becomes president he’d replace the White House bowling alley because it’s something he would never use. Apparently, this is the same reason President Bush got rid of the White House library.

This weekend, Barack Obama and Bill Clinton will be attending the same conference in Florida. Not surprisingly, the conference is sponsored by the National Association of Men Who’ve Been Attacked By Hillary Clinton.

Gay marriage is now legal in California and yesterday, a lesbian couple who are 83 and 87 years old got married. Witnesses are describing the ceremony as beautiful and the honeymoon as horrifying.

Craig Ferguson

A 52-year-old woman is suing Victoria’s Secret over injuries she received from wearing a thong. I think the thong was just trying to defend itself.

May I suggest — at 52, you’re really moving into the big underpants year.

All I’m saying is, my Speedo years are behind me.

The Mars Lander was digging and found a white powdery substance. Scientists are baffled. Lindsay Lohan hasn’t been anywhere near Mars.

Labels:


Tuesday, June 17, 2008

Terror Ruling ‘Endangers Lives’

Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia says last week's 5-4 Supreme Court ruling that awards habeas corpus rights to terrorist suspects in Guantanamo Bay "will almost certainly cause more Americans to be killed."

Scalia, in his blistering dissent to the constitutional decision, says the court majority is laying the groundwork for the early release of “some very dangerous people.” He cites a report by Senate Republicans that finds at least 30 prisoners have returned to the battlefield following their release from Guantanamo.

Scalia notes that one previously released prisoner from the detention camp in Cuba was found to have detonated a suicide bomb in Iraq in May. This "return to the kill," he says, happened even after the military had concluded he was not an enemy combatant.

Scalia likens the Guantanamo detainees to the 400,000 prisoners of war held in the U.S. during World War II. Despite the fact that all of them were on U.S. soil, none was given the right to have their detention validated by habeas corpus action in federal court.

“The game of bait-and-switch [this] opinion plays upon the nation's commander in chief will make the war harder on us,” Scalia declares. “It will almost certainly cause more Americans to be killed. That consequence would be tolerable if necessary to preserve a time-honored legal principle vital to our constitutional republic, but it is this court's blatant abandonment of such a principle that produces [this decision],” he says.

The 70-page ruling by the high court – supported by Justices John Paul Stevens, David H. Souter, Ruth Bader Ginsburg, Stephen G. Breyer and Anthony Kennedy – grants detainees the same rights as anyone else in custody in the United States to contest their detention before a judge.

Kennedy, writing for the 5-4 majority, acknowledges the terrorism threat the U.S. faces, but says the system the administration has put in place to classify detainees as enemy combatants and review those decisions is not an adequate substitute for the right to go before a civilian judge.

The current administration disagrees, arguing detainees have no rights and that the classification and review process is sufficient. President Bush suggests he might seek yet another law to keep terror suspects locked up at the prison camp, even as his presidency winds down and Democrats control Congress.

Scalia argues the decision “breaks a chain of precedent as old as the common law that prohibits judicial inquiry into detentions of aliens abroad. It sets our military commanders the impossible task of proving to a civilian court, under whatever standards this court devises in the future, that evidence supports the confinement of each and every enemy prisoner.”

Chief Justice John G. Roberts Jr., Justice Clarence Thomas and Justice Samuel A. Alito Jr., agree with Scalia, criticizing what they call “the most generous set of procedural protections ever afforded aliens detained by this country as enemy combatants.”

Several prominent Republicans also disagree with the courts decision, including Republican candidate for president, John McCain, who says the court made "one of the worst decisions in the history of this country." Former House Speaker Newt Gingrich adds, the court will "cost us a city.”

“The nation will live to regret what the court has done,'' Scalia warns.

Late Nite Jokes

Jay Leno

President Bush is in Italy visiting the Vatican. Once again, I don’t think he gets it. He asked the Pope, “So, is the family taking you out for Father’s Day?”

The New York Times is reporting that both Bill and Hillary Clinton have an enemies list. Hillary’s is mostly people who endorsed Barack Obama instead of her, and Bill’s list is mostly chicks who can’t keep a secret — they go blabbing to everybody.

Gay marriage became legal today here in California. Still no word on whether Simon Cowell can marry himself.

For the first time ever, both of the people getting married will actually be excited about the wedding.

Barack Obama was endorsed by Al Gore at the Joe Lewis Arena in Detroit. You could feel the excitement in the room . . . then Al Gore walked in.

George W. Bush says that he has some regrets. He says you don’t get a second chance in his line of work. Really? What was that second term all about?

The Saudis announced today that there is no shortage of oil. They have plenty of oil reserves. In fact they assure us that they have enough oil to keep screwing us well into the next century.

Airlines are now charging $15 to check your first bag — $15 for the first bag. And $30 if you ever want to see that bag again.

David Letterman

For Father’s Day, I stayed home and watched the crooked NBA Finals.

My son gave me a monogrammed medical alert bracelet.

It goes nicely with last year’s gift — a mug that reads “World’s Oldest Dad.”

John McCain is going after the Hillary Clinton female voters. Today, he was campaigning in a pantsuit.

Late Show Top Ten

Top Ten Ways The New York Mets Can Turn Things Around

10. Less horseplay, more grab-ass

9. Ask Tiger Woods to switch to baseball

8. Stop leaving games early to beat traffic

7. Convince superdelegates to put them in the playoffs

6. Ask President Bush how he was able to turn things around in Iraq

5. For starters, pay the poor bastards enough to live on

4. Jetpacks

3. Before every game, feed other team tainted to-maters

3. Before every game

2. Replace batting practice with frozen head of Ted Williams and dunk tank

1. Start fixing games like they do in the NBA

Pamela Anderson and Tommy Lee are back together. They’ve already scheduled their first domestic disturbance for Thursday.

Al Gore has now endorsed Barack Obama. This is great — it gives the Obama campaign a much-needed shot of boredom.

You’re getting an endorsement from a guy who won an Academy Award, a Grammy, and he also won a competitive eating contest.

There’s going to be a series of candidate debates. Here’s how it’s going to be: After each question, Barack Obama wants a one-minute response . . . John McCain says after each question he wants a one-minute nap.

Conan O'Brien

Today at the U.S. Open, 32-year-old Tiger Woods came back to beat 45-year-old Rocco Mediate. When he heard that a younger African-American beat an older white man, John McCain said, “uh-oh.”

Yesterday was Father’s Day and John McCain made plans to spend it with his grandchildren. Unfortunately, McCain’s grandchildren couldn’t make it because they spent the day with their grandchildren.

Republican Congressman Ron Paul has finally decided to suspend his presidential campaign. Paul said, “There comes a time when you realize that you have no chance to win, and that time was six months ago.”

President Bush said that after he retires he wants to write a book. Bush said he’s not sure if it will be about politics or about his personal life, but he is sure it will be a pop-up book.

Barack Obama’s staff and John McCain’s staff are busy negotiating when the Presidential debates will take place. Obama wants them to be in September — and McCain wants them to be after his nap, but before “Wheel of Fortune.”

Yesterday, Barack Obama said that if becomes president he’d replace the White House bowling alley because it’s something he would never use. Apparently, this is the same reason President Bush got rid of the White House library.

This weekend, Barack Obama and Bill Clinton will be attending the same conference in Florida. Not surprisingly, the conference is sponsored by the National Association of Men Who’ve Been Attacked By Hillary Clinton.

Gay marriage is now legal in California and yesterday, a lesbian couple who are 83 and 87 years old got married. Witnesses are describing the ceremony as beautiful and the honeymoon as horrifying.

Craig Ferguson

Gay marriage started today in California. Let me be the first to congratulate Mr. and Mrs. Seacrest.

John McCain says he is in favor of offshore oil drilling. Opponents say he will have a hard time drilling. He’s old.

There’s a new car unveiled today: Zero gas emissions. Until I drive it.

A 52-year-old woman is suing Victoria’s Secret over injuries she received from wearing a thong. I think the thong was just trying to defend itself.

May I suggest — at 52, you’re really moving into the big underpants year.

All I’m saying is, my Speedo years are behind me.

The Mars Lander was digging and found a white powdery substance. Scientists are baffled. Lindsay Lohan hasn’t been anywhere near Mars.

Monday, June 16, 2008

Democrats' Public Enemy No. 1

Joe Lieberman is fast becoming the Democrats' public enemy No. 1.

The four-term Connecticut senator, who came tantalizingly close to being Al Gore's vice president in 2000, not only has been campaigning for his pal, presumed Republican nominee John McCain, now he's publicly criticizing the Democrats' standard-bearer, Barack Obama. Lieberman has strayed before, most notably switching from Democrat to independent in 2006 to hold onto his Senate seat after a Democratic primary loss.

But the latest betrayal has upset Democrats, who often answer in clipped but polite tones when asked about Lieberman. The reason: The independent still caucuses with the Democrats on most issues except the Iraq war, and he holds their slim political majority in his hands.

"There's a commonly held hope that he's not going to be transformed into an attack dog for Republicans," said Sen. John Kerry, D-Mass., an Obama supporter.

Lieberman has wasted no time in questioning Obama's positions on Iran and Israel, two topics on which Lieberman and McCain agree. Just one day after Obama clinched his party's nomination, Lieberman joined Republicans on a McCain campaign teleconference call assailing Obama following his foreign policy address to a leading Jewish group.

Lieberman accused Obama of blaming U.S. policies for "essentially sort of strengthening" Iran.

"If Israel is in danger today, it's not because of American foreign policy, which has been strongly supportive of Israel in every way," he said. "It is not because of what we have done in Iraq. It is because Iran is a fanatical terrorist, expansionist state."

Later that day, during a budget vote in the Senate, Obama led Lieberman to a corner of the Senate floor for a pointed private conversation. Without elaborating, Obama told reporters the chat was about politics. Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid, D-Nev., had a similar private conversation with Lieberman.

For his part, Lieberman said he assured Obama he would avoid personal attacks.

"I said, and we agreed, that any time I get out there mostly I'm going to be talking positively about John McCain _ and anytime I would take issue with Barack Obama, it would never be personal because I have the highest regard for him personally," he said.

Still, Democrats were irked. Lieberman seemed to be breaking new ground _ shifting gears from simply promoting McCain to taking shots at Obama.

"I'm glad that Barack Obama had a direct conversation with Joe," Sen. Dick Durbin, Obama's fellow Illinois senator, told reporters. "I hope that Joe will realize that even though he's a friend of John McCain's and feels differently on the war, there are so many other issues Barack stands for that have been a part of Joe's career."

Lieberman's Connecticut colleague, Democratic Sen. Chris Dodd, said he's heard McCain talk about keeping a civil tone to the campaign.

"It might be a good message for him to convey to his supporters," said Dodd, also an Obama supporter.

Obama had backed Lieberman in the 2006 Democratic Senate primary in Connecticut. After he lost to Ned Lamont, an anti-war candidate, Lieberman defied party leaders and ran as an independent in the general election. Leading Democrats _ Obama, Dodd and Kerry among them _ then backed Lamont. Lieberman was re-elected with support from the GOP, including praise from the White House and fundraising help from prominent Republicans.

Oddly, Lieberman befriended and dispensed advice to Obama when the Illinois senator arrived in Washington in 2005.

"We have established a very good relationship," Lieberman says. "I have a lot of affection for him."

Call it Lieberman's version of tough love.

The Connecticut lawmaker is willing to speak at the Republican convention this summer if McCain asks. He also has been mentioned as a potential McCain running mate.

Democrats have reason to tolerate Lieberman's actions. If he were to caucus with the GOP, the balance of power in the narrowly divided Senate would slip away, especially with Sen. Edward M. Kennedy, D-Mass., battling brain cancer. Democrats need Lieberman to maintain their 51-49 Senate majority.

Beyond Iraq, Lieberman tends to vote with Democrats on major issues.

"Joe and I have known each other 40 years," said Dodd. "On almost every issue, Joe is a mainstream Democrat."

There is speculation that if Democrats bolster their Senate majority this fall, they could seek payback by stripping Lieberman of his Homeland Security and Governmental Affairs Committee chairmanship.

While there's no serious talk afoot about punishing Lieberman, Kerry said, "I can't tell you what happens next year."

Sunday, June 15, 2008

Monkey Doll Named for Obama Called Racist

SALT LAKE CITY -- A Utah company offering online a sock monkey named for Democratic presidential candidate Barack Obama says it didn't mean to anger anyone with a "cute and cuddly" toy that some are calling racist.

"We simply made a casual and affectionate observation one night, and a charming association between a candidate and a toy we had when we were little," according to a statement issued Saturday by Sock Obama LLC.

Jeanetta Williams, president of the local chapter of the National Association for the Advancement of Colored People, called the toy "pure racism at its extreme."

Saturday, June 14, 2008

McCain Slams Supreme Court on Terrorist Detainees

WASHINGTON -- Republican presidential candidate John McCain on Friday sharply denounced a Supreme Court decision that gave suspected terrorist detainees a right to seek their release in federal courts.

"I think it's one of the worst decisions in history," McCain said. "It opens up a whole new chapter and interpretation of our constitution."

McCain is one of the authors of the 2006 Military Commissions Act which set up procedures for the handling of detainees. The act denied the detainees access to federal courts.

The Supreme Court on Thursday said that provision of the law violated the constitution.

McCain on Thursday said he had not read the ruling and reserved his criticism. But on Friday, speaking to about 1,500 people at a town hall meeting in Pemberton, N.J., he attacked the decision, saying the law he helped write "made it very clear that these are enemy combatants, they are not citizens, they do not have the rights of citizens."

The issue could be potent for McCain, who often encounters questions from audiences about how he would go about selecting potential justices for the court. McCain often cites Chief Justice John Roberts as the type of justice he would nominate. On Friday he especially praised him for his dissent in the detainee case.

McCain spoke to reporters after the town hall, accompanied by Sen. Lindsey Graham, R-S.C., who helped him write the military commissions law.

"What happened yesterday was unprecedented," Graham said. "Americans are going to be shocked to find that that mastermind of 9-11, Khalid Sheikh Mohammed, now has the same legal standing as an American citizen."

Late Nite Jokes

Jay Leno

President Bush visited the Vatican this week where he met with the Pope. Again, I don’t think president studies up on these places before he goes there. Like as soon as he saw where the Pope lived he said, “Hey, I like what the little lady’s done with the place.”

Barack Obama took some time out from campaigning recently to go on a date with his wife. When Hillary Clinton heard about this she said to Bill, “Why can’t you do something like that?” So today Bill asked Barack Obama’s wife out on a date.

OPEC said this week it will call a meeting of its members to discuss what it calls “unjustified” oil prices. Not to bring the price down . . . just to come up with a reason to justify it.

According to a new survey, 56 percent of women say they would rather be thinner than smarter. The other 44 percent were models who didn’t understand the question.

David Letterman

Today is Friday the 13th, and down in Washington, D.C., a confused President Bush lit a menorah.

You know what Sunday is? Sunday, right here on CBS, the annual Tony Awards for excellence in Broadway. Yeah, and I am proud to say that, once again this year, we were nominated in the category, “Biggest Waste of a Broadway Theater."

Vice President Dick Cheney received a Tony nomination. Yep, for his performance in “The Angina Monologues."

Aren't you sick of the campaign already? Well, there's good news: the candidates are taking this weekend off. John McCain will be resting at his ranch, Rancho Sciatica . . . yeah, located right outside of Denture Springs."

Craig Ferguson

Barack Obama has put his birth certificate online to fight the rumors he wasn’t born in the U.S. John McCain is going to put his birth certificate online as soon as he figures out how to upload the stone tablets.

Paul McCartney has just announced he’s going on a world tour. He’ll be on the road for two years. He’ll make a ton of money — about a month of alimony.

Tomorrow is Boy George and Donald Trump’s birthday. Very different of course — one’s a gay icon has-been who’s always doing something embarrassing, and the other one is Boy George.

The Olsen twins were born on Friday the 13th. Both very different of course . . . one is an anorexic millionaire actress with a . . . oh, wait a minute — they’re exactly the same.

Jimmy Kimmel Live!

They’ve released a study that says Friday the 13th is actually less dangerous than regular Fridays . . . and TGI Fridays.

Pamela Andersen and Tommy Lee got back together. They say the 14th time is a charm.

They were out filming together today.

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Friday, June 13, 2008

Cash-Strapped Convention Panel Cancels Media Event

DENVER -- The host committee for the Democratic National Convention faces a possible shortfall of $15 million, complicating logistics for the August event and forcing it to abruptly postpone a media walkthrough of the site scheduled for next week.

The committee announced Friday that it had delayed the session for the news media and hoped to reschedule at a later date. "Postponing the event allows us to work through outstanding issues and ensure a successful event when media do arrive in Denver," said Theodore LeCompte, the DNCC's director of media logistics.

Hundreds of representatives from television, radio and newspaper organizations were planning to attend the event Thursday at the Pepsi Center, where Democrats will gather Aug. 25-28 to nominate their presidential and vice presidential candidates.

The Democratic National Committee has asked the cash-strapped panel to raise $40.6 million by Monday to finance the event. Last month, the committee said it had just $25 million in cash.

Last week, business leaders demanded more details about convention plans, saying they need to know what events and schedules the city and organizers are planning so they can make their own plans. Convention officials promised more details will be announced in coming weeks.

Late Nite Jokes

Jay Leno

The country of Abu Dhabi has announced it is buying the Chrysler Building in New York. Why not? The Saudis already own the White House.

Why don’t they buy something the people don’t really want? Like the Knicks.

Today, they unveiled John McCain’s new campaign song: “Viva Viagra.”

The New York Times reports that Clinton associates are keeping an enemies list of people considered “Clinton traitors.” Ironically, both Bill and Hillary are on each other’s list.

Late Show Top Ten

Signs Your Wife Is Having an Affair with the Incredible Hulk

10. Someone sent her flowers with a note reading, "Me have good time last night."

9. She comes home late smelling "Hulky."

8. Your kids are green.

7. Find room service bill for one Nicoise salad and 7 pounds of raw meat.

6. She's also seeing Spider-Man, Iron Man, and three of the Fantastic Four.

5. You find credit card receipt from "Big & Tall & Green Man"

4. She upgraded your king size bed to "Hulk size."

3. You turn green from food poisoning. She sobs because you remind her of somebody.

2. She's been seen with a gigantic, inarticulate beast, but it ain't Arnold Schwarzenegger.

1. After sex, always complains you're not exactly "incredible."

David Letterman

Beautiful day here in New York City. So beautiful, the NBA was rigging volleyball.

NBA finals tonight. The suspense in this game is which team would come up with enough money to bribe the ref.

If you’re looking for the perfect Father’s Day gift for an older dad . . . how about Barbara Walters?

President Bush is traveling in Europe. He’s now in Venice, Italy. When he saw the street waterways, he said, “Don’t worry — FEMA is on the way.”

Conan O'Brien

Barrack Obama has come out and said the differences between him and Hillary are “minute” When he heard this, President Bush said, “I believe the word is pronounced minute [like the clock].”

Hillary has been staying at home and canceling all her public appearances. As a result, Bill has been staying at home and canceling all of his private appearances.

Angelina Jolie said, in an interview, that being pregnant is great for her sex life. Then she said what’s really great for her sex life is being Angelina Jolie.

Craig Ferguson

Forbes magazine’s celebrity 100 list came out today. The world’s richest celebrity is Oprah. I was hoping I’d be on it.

Then I remembered that I’m not rich . . . or a celebrity.

A new study says the most effective stress reducer is looking out the window. I’ve been doing this for years. It’s even more effective with a telescope. It’s great if you’ve got a neighbor who walks around topless.

Jimmy Kimmel Live!

I am wearing Bill Cosby’s shirt. It was a gift from my son, Theo.

That was a great show. Bill Cosby played an obstetrician who wore colorful shirts to distract women from the pain of child birth.

My parents wanted me to be a doctor when I grew up . . . this is probably as close as I’ll get.

Thursday, June 12, 2008

McCain Hit for Troop Withdrawal Comment

Democrats accused John McCain on Wednesday of being confused and unsympathetic for saying it's "not too important" when U.S. troops leave Iraq, attacking the Republican presidential candidate on an issue he has made key in the November election.

McCain's campaign said his comment had been distorted and there was no one better placed than the former prisoner of war to understand the sacrifices made by American soldiers and military families.

The Arizona senator has built his campaign largely around his strength as a potential commander in chief and has drawn contrasts with his Democratic rival Barack Obama who McCain says is too inexperienced in foreign policy.

But Democrats seized on McCain's response to a question in a television interview when asked if he had a good estimate of when he thought American troops might come home from Iraq.

"No, but that's not too important," McCain said on NBC's "Today Show." "What's important is the casualties in Iraq."

In dueling conference calls, the campaigns propelled Iraq and the squabble over national security credentials back to the front of the campaign agenda. The focus this week had been on the U.S. economy, an issue that many analysts believe favors Obama.

"It is unbelievably out of touch and inconsistent with the needs and concerns of Americans and particularly the families of the troops who are over there," said Democratic Sen. John Kerry of Massachusetts.

"To them it's the most important thing in the world when they come home. And it's the most important thing in the world that we have a commander-in-chief who understands how you can bring them home," said Kerry, a Vietnam veteran and close Obama supporter who lost the 2004 election to President George W. Bush.

McCain's campaign said the Democratic reaction was a false attack designed to hide Obama's willingness to disregard facts as he pursues withdrawal from Iraq "no matter what the costs."

Later the Obama campaign sought to quell controversy over the head of its vice presidential selection team whose business dealings had been questioned. Obama announced that Jim Johnson, former head of the mortgage giant Fannie Mae, had quit.

On Iraq, Republican National Committee Chairman Mike Duncan said Obama, an early opponent of the war who has promised to remove U.S. combat troops within 16 months of taking office, had no "credibility" discussing the future of the country.

Sen. Joe Lieberman, an independent from Connecticut, said he was disappointed in the "reflexive attacks" on McCain, a prominent supporter of the decision to invade Iraq who has vowed to keep American troops there until the war is won.

"I view the attacks on Senator McCain this morning as another partisan attempt to distort John McCain's words, to distract the American people from the fact that John McCain has been both courageous and right about the surge in Iraq and Barack Obama has unfortunately been consistently wrong," said Lieberman, a former Democrat who is a McCain supporter.

"The part that I find most outrageous is the suggestion that he's out of touch with the needs of our troops," he said.

Obama's advisers said McCain's comment shows that he is confused and does not really understand the situation in Iraq.

"We've heard ... a real disturbing, even disconcerting, pattern of confusing the basic facts and reality that pertain to Iraq from John McCain over a series of months," said Susan Rice, one of Obama's senior foreign policy advisers.

She pointed to misstatements McCain has made about the number of troops in Iraq and his confusion over which Islamic extremist group Iran is accused of supporting.

Democratic National Committee Chairman Howard Dean said the comments show McCain has no plan to bring the Iraq war to a responsible end.

"One of the most important questions in this campaign is when and how Sen. McCain would bring our troops home from Iraq," Dean said.

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Late Nite Jokes

Jay Leno

When President Bush heard gas was an average of $4 all over the country, he said, “But how much is it in the city?”

Hillary Clinton’s camp says she is not actively seeking the vice presidential nomination . . . passively-aggressively seeking it, yes . . .

Officials are saying they found a pipe bomb in a dead chicken. So it sounds like al-Qaida is starting to have some serious budget problems.

They say it is either the work of some terrorist organization or Carrot Top.

Late Show Top Ten

Top Ten Signs an NBA Game Is Fixed

10. Game begins 20 minutes before visiting team arrives

9. Tip-off always goes to the player with the largest salary

8. At the end of the first quarter, the score is 179 to 2

7. Missed three-pointers count for two points if they're "pretty close"

6. One of the Laker Girls looks suspiciously like Pete Rose

5. Whenever he's open, referee takes a shot

4. Scoreboard has disclaimer: "All Scores Approximate"

3. The team loses even though it led in points, delegates, and the popular vote

2. Jack Nicholson scores 25 points from his seat

1. The Knicks win

David Letterman

Another hot day in New York City — 89 and insufferable. Like Regis.

It’s so hot, I’m driving home last night and the navigation lady says, “Wanna stop for a beer?”

NASA has announced a plan to take a trip to the sun. So apparently, the search for bin Laden continues.

They want to get to the sun; they want to find the thermostat, and turn it down.

Conan O'Brien

John McCain just announced he wants to do a series of town hall meetings where he meets with the public. It’s all part of McCain’s “Speak up, I Can’t Hear You” tour.

NASA has announced plans to send a probe to orbit the sun — where it will be forced to withstand temperatures of 1,400 degrees Fahrenheit. When he heard about it, President Bush said: “Why don’t they just go at night?”

According to MSNBC, Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt have consulted a psychic about the birth of their twin girls. The psychic predicted Brad and Angelina’s twin girls will grow up to be very hot.

A new study just came out, it says that most computer-support workers would take a pay cut to work from home. Their exact quote was, “We miss living in India.”

Craig Ferguson

According to a new study, the average American will live six months longer than the last study. Finally some good news for John McCain.

Apparently Barack Obama is “e-mail buddies” with Scarlet Johansson . . . This is making me question Sen. Obama’s judgment. If he has Scarlet Johansson’s e-mail address, why is he wasting time running for president?

Daniel Craig cut the top of his finger off while filming the latest James Bond movie. Who’s he fighting, a can opener?

He was back to work the next day, which is very impressive, because if I chip a nail, we’re in reruns for a week.

Jimmy Kimmel Live!

The Lakers beat the Cetics. Their first win. I can’t wait to find out who the NBA decided to win this thing.

I heard they shot multiple endings.

President Bush in on a tour of Germany, France, Italy, and a bunch of other countries that hate him.

While he’s gone, America is safe and sound in the more competent hands of Barney the White House terrier.

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