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Late Nite Jokes

Leno

Here’s some good political gossip. It seems the little tiff between Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton has really heated up since their argument at the last Democratic debate. They have become distant, barely speaking to each other, and now when they do, it’s really icy. Or as Hillary calls it, marriage.

Barry Bonds might break the home run record here in Los Angeles this week at Dodger Stadium. People will be sitting on pins and needles. Especially Barry.

Here in L.A., people boo Barry. You know why? Because we here in L.A., we don’t like any kind of performance enhancement . . . nothing phony in L.A . . . we don’t like it. We won’t stand for anything phony in this town.

It’s official — Brittney Spears and Kevin Federline finalized their divorce today. It’s the end of Camelot. K-Fed is now Fed-ex.

Letterman

Over the weekend, the Iraqi soccer team won the Asian Cup. Bud Selig was in the stands.

Iraq now has a championship team, so we can go home, right?

Happy birthday to the governor of California Arnold Schwarzenegger. Sixty years old today. And to celebrate, natives on Skull Island tossed him a blonde.

How about the astronauts flying drunk? Here’s a sign your astronaut is flying drunk: Before liftoff, he runs a systems check on the blender.

Conan

The new prime minister of Great Britain, Gordon Brown met with President Bush over the weekend and he praised Bush’s leadership. Afterwards, even Bush said, "That guy’s hilarious.”

Earlier today, Iraq’s parliament adjourned for the entire month of August. Experts predict there will be a lack of progress in Iraq for the month of August, the likes of which haven’t been seen since June or July.

Several astronauts are denying accusations that they flew on the space shuttle while they were drunk. However, experts say the first step to recovery is admitting, "Houston, I have a problem.”

Britney Spears is in trouble. Britney Spears may have violated California law because she took her kids out of the state without written permission from Kevin Federline. Britney explained, "Sorry, I didn’t have time for Kevin to learn how to write.”

Ferguson

Arnold Schwarzenegger turned 60 today. There’s another celebrity birthday today. Hillary Swank is 33 today. Isn’t it weird? Hillary Swank and Arnold Schwarzenegger have the same birthday? They couldn’t be more different. One is a he-man with rippling muscles, bulges everywhere . . . and the other one’s the governor of California.

I had a good weekend. I went to Toronto. They have the "Just for Laughs” festival. Peter Ustinov used to say that Toronto was like New York run by the Swiss. Which I think is unfair. Unfair to Toronto because the Swiss are bastards. With their cheese, and their coockoo clocks, and their Swiss Army knives . . . . no wonder they’re neutral. Who are you going to scare with that little knife?

I went to this great hotel, the Germain Hotel. It was mobbed with people for the festival. So I signed under a name that no one would recognize: Craig Ferguson.

Late Nite Jokes

Leno

A panel investigating NASA found "a heavy use of alcohol by astronauts before launches.” On at least two occasions, astronauts were allowed to fly while so intoxicated they actually posed a health risk. Isn’t that unbelievable? Drinking. That’s why they call it the Kennedy Space Center.

They said today on one mission, the astronauts were so drunk they were actually wearing their diapers on their heads.

More bad news today for John McCain. John McCain’s media team has resigned. But McCain says he intends to stay in the race, according to the campaign’s new media spokesman, John McCain.

The New York City Department of Aging is now giving free condoms to senior citizens. So good news for Regis.

Letterman

The city is finally fixing that [Lexington Avenue] crater. Thank God they removed that tow truck. They also found Jimmy Hoffa.

The explosion was very big. Now, experts are learning many of our rats are suffering partial hearing loss.

So hot outside my cab driver was fanning himself with his forged visa.

So hot Chuck and Larry moved in with Ben and Jerry.

Ferguson

"The Simpsons” movie opens today. It’s very controversial because apparently Bart Simpson has a nude scene. Matt Groening, creator of the Simpsons, describes it as a "tasteful oblong.”

For publicity, they’ve turned about a dozen 7-Elevens into Kwik-e Marts. They’ve used this marketing strategy for movies before: For the "Harold & Kumar” movie they turned parking lots into White Castle restaurants, and for the last three "Star Wars” movies they turned a great franchise into crap.

Cartoon characters can go on forever. All you need is the actors who do the voices. Bart Simpson’s voice isn’t even done by a guy. It’s done by a woman named Nancy Cartwright. She also, by the way, does the voice for soccer star David Beckham.

Late Nite Jokes

Leno

Did you know about this? President Bush got a colonoscopy over the weekend. He had it done at Camp David. After seeing the movie "Sicko,” he didn’t want to go to a hospital.

According to a study by The New England Journal of Medicine, obesity can be "socially contagious.” That means the more time you spend hanging around heavy people, the more likely you will become fat. Obesity can be contagious? How does that work? "Hey bob what happened to your ass?” "A fat guy at the office sneezed on me. I got a touch of that obesity thing.”

Do you believe that? Hey, if it was contagious Clinton would have contracted it years ago. He would way 1,100 pounds now.

Starbucks announced they’re raising their prices. You know why? Because they can. They say they are raising their prices because the price of milk has gone up. Really? When did cows get a raise? Did cows get a raise?

Letterman

It was so nice out today, Lindsay Lohan was arrested for possession of a small amount of sunblock.

So many riders in the Tour de France have been tossed out because of drugs, the overall leader is the delivery guy from Empire Szechuan.

Have you seen Hillary Clinton lately? The woman has been getting sexier and sexier. She’s so sexy now, the other day by accident, Bill hit on her.

Yesterday she was seen shopping in Victoria’s Pantsuit.

Letterman's Top Ten

Top Ten Things You Never Knew About the New York Mets

10. "Team forfeited Sunday's game because we were all reading 'Harry Potter'"

9. "'Mets' is short for 'Metrosexuals'"

8. "We all carry BlackBerries so we can blog on the field"

7. "During month of May, all we did was bunt"

6. "Proud to be in the same city as our favorite talk-show host, Conan O'Brien"

5. "We always give 110 percent, except on Tuesdays, when we give 111 percent"

4. "For one season in the '80s, every player on the team was named 'Mookie'"

3. "Our stadium nacho cheese is made with pine tar"

2. "Blew entire budget signing David Beckham"

1. "We've really bonded since we started watching 'Oprah' as a team"


Ferguson

Comic-Con, the world’s largest comic book convention, starts today in San Diego. It’s a four-day celebration of comics, science fiction, and unwanted virginity.

Parents across the country are rejoicing: This weekend the basement is empty.

Convention organizers are expecting 125,000 people this year. Three of those people are projected to be female. Two of them are just moms dropping off their sons and the other one’s named Pat.

Late Nite Jokes

Leno

Here is something ironic. I went on eBay the other day and bought a Michael Vick doll. Turns out it’s my dog’s favorite chew toy. What are the odds of that?

Vick has been ordered by the Atlanta Falcons not to report to practice. Good. You know who it was that turned Michael Vick in? Dog the Bounty Hunter. What are the odds?

Huge scandals are rocking all three major sports right now. The NFL with Michael Vick; the NBA with that gambling thing; baseball with steroids. In fact, ESPN and Court TV have now merged. They are just going to be one.

It got a little testy at the debates the other night when Barack Obama said he would be willing to meet with leaders of countries hostile to the United States. Then Hillary Clinton accused Barack of being "naïve.” That’s what she said, "naïve.” Is this the same woman who thought Bill Clinton would "forsake all others ’til death do you part?”

Ferguson

Not such a great day for Lindsay Lohan — again. She’s telling her side of story though this time. She said the cocaine that was in her pants was not hers. It was put there by someone else. And you know what? I believe her. Hollywood is a dangerous place; people are always slipping stuff into your pants.

Disney announced today that they’re banning smoking from all their movies. Which means they won’t be buying the scripts I wrote. I wrote a script for Disney called "Smoke-ahontas.”

And another one, the follow-up, "Cigarella.”

Kimmel

Good news today: Lindsay Lohan, it turns out, is innocent. She told Billy Bush of "Access Hollywood,” in an e-mail, that the drugs the police found on her weren’t hers. She said the drugs belonged to someone else.

And her blood alcohol level belonged to Mischa Barton.

Is anyone else disturbed that the top news story in the world came out of Billy Bush’s BlackBerry last night?

If Lindsay Lohan and Britney Spears are any indication, rehab works about as well as the Ab Roller.

Late Nite Jokes

Leno

John Edwards is continuing his "Poverty Tour” around America. Today he visited with a group of people who get their hair cut at a place called "a barber shop.” He was horrified at their stories. Combs and blue liquid . . .

And Hillary Clinton is working hard to win the women’s vote; they say her campaign has six full-time staffers just for women’s "outreach.” And another six full-time staffers to keep women out of Bill’s reach.

The White House announced that right after President Bush got his colonoscopy on Saturday, he played with his dogs and then rode his bike. How old is he, 12?

I finally saw "Sicko.” But enough about Michael Vick.

Letterman

Beautiful day to sit at an outdoor café and watch a street blow up.

While you’re in town, don’t miss "Shakespeare and the Crater.”

Happy birthday to Barry Bonds! Forty-three years old today. Barry tested positive for cake.

Over the weekend, President Bush had his annual physical and he had one of those colonoscopies; now he knows what it feels like to be invaded.

Ferguson

Big day for me. I got fingerprinted today. It was part of my citizenship application . . .

What’s the name of that rehab center she went to in Malibu? Promises, it is called isn’t it? Broken Promises I think.

It seems to me that the swanky celebrity rehab doesn’t work as well as the just regular people rehab. Just my opinion.

Kimmel

Lindsay Lohan was arrested this morning for arranging dog fights in her home.

Lindsay got her second DUI in two months today. When they took her in, they also found a small amount of cocaine on her, or in her, they didn’t specify. Her father says he feels partially responsible. He says the fighting between him and his ex-wife put a lot of pressure on Lindsay. Also — he sold her the coke.

What happened to the alcohol-monitoring bracelet she was wearing? I thought those things were accurate! They’re built by a Chinese toothpaste company.

This weekend President Bush was having five polyps removed. Initially he didn’t want to have them removed; he said they were doing a heck of a job. But doctors convinced him. They also found an impacted Scooter in the president’s Libby.

Late Night Jokes

Leno

Saturday, President Bush underwent a colonoscopy. It was performed by Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi.

White house spokesman Scott Stanzel said that during the procedure President Bush was asleep but responsive. So how is that different than any other day?

Wal-Mart is considering investing in the retail business in China, but there are employee issues of slave labor, horrible working conditions, and brutal treatment. But China said, "Oh, Wal-Mart is welcome any way.”

I read this in the paper today: A restaurant in West Virginia is selling a 10-pound hamburger. It comes with lettuce, tomato, and an organ donor card.

Letterman

To give you an idea of how fast summer has gone by, earlier today, Rosie O’Donnell reported to the Minnesota Vikings training camp.

Anybody here in town last week when that big chunk of Lexington Avenue blew up? Now there’s this huge crater. It’s already becoming a tourist attraction. For $50 a team of burros will take you to the bottom.

President Bush had his physical over the weekend; he had a colonoscopy. In order to pay for that procedure, bush had to pretend to marry a fireman.

The doctors found five polyps. And I was thinking, "Well, hell . . . maybe we should send these guys out to find bin Laden."

Ferguson

There is a new host for "The Price Is Right.” Drew Carey is the new host! He used to be my boss. Now he’s the boss of Bob Barker’s beauties. There’ll be strip Plinko . . . and all-you-can-eat showcase showdowns.

Not such a great day for England. They’ve had the worst flooding ion 50 years. The water’s so high that Hogwarts was flooded and Harry Potter drowned.

Soccer star David Beckham played his first soccer match on Saturday, as part of the L.A. soccer team. I think "played” is probably the wrong word. He was only on for 10 minutes. He was on for 10 minutes, took off his sweaty jockstrap, and went home. Exactly what I do here every night.

Late Night Jokes

Leno

I read in the paper that by the year 2015, obesity will be the leading cause of death. Especially for the person on the bottom.

John Edwards has a new TV commercial touting him as a tough guy. His wife says he has unbelievable toughness. And he is tough. Like in the ad, it says sometimes he shampoos his hair and then skips the conditioner completely and goes commando.

In just a couple of weeks, the new movie “Underdog” comes out. It’s a dog with super powers that fights criminals. That’s gotta be Michael Vick’s worst nightmare.
People are mad about this Michael Vick thing. Today, Bob Barker called for Vick to be spayed and neutered.

Letterman

Al Gore’s daughter got married last weekend. Al Gore’s no fun at wedding receptions. He keeps pointing out how fast the ice sculpture is melting.

Donald Trump is now selling his own line of chairs. These things are surprisingly comfortable. And I found out why: They’re upholstered with actual Donald Trump hair.

"Hairspray" opened today. In the movie, John Travolta plays a fat housewife named Edna Turnblad. They say John Travolta is so convincing as a fat woman, earlier today, he got a call from President Clinton.

Conan

Tomorrow President Bush is undergoing a colonoscopy, so he’s going to temporarily transfer his presidential power to Vice President Dick Cheney. That’s right, on the day that millions will be reading the new Harry Potter book, Lord Voldermort will be running the country.

A Christian group that claims it can cure homosexuality is starting a program to help gay Broadway stars become straight. The program is called, "A Total Waste of Time.”

Yesterday, Barry Bonds moved closer to breaking Hank Aaron’s homerun record by hitting two homeruns in one game. Everybody could tell Barry Bonds was going to hit two homeruns in one game because he had an icepack on both ass cheeks.

Paris Hilton recently said everyone in her family is so proud of her because she accomplished so much so young. Paris said, "For instance, I single-handedly created the great condom shortage of 2006.”

Kimmel

Tonight we celebrate our 900th show. All done, by the way, without the help of steroids.

Nine hundred seems enough. I’m thinking about opening a nail salon in Sacramento.

The final Harry Potter book came out. This is a quick glossary of some common terms: "Hogwarts” is the school they go to. A "muggle” is a person who doesn’t do magic. Like David Blaine.

Quidditch” is a magical lacrosse-like game. "Kucinich” is a magical elf who lives in a tree.

Hillary Hits Back at Pentagon Remarks

Clinton, the Democratic frontrunner for president, had asked the Pentagon to detail how it is planning for the eventual withdrawal of U.S. military forces from Iraq. She first raised the issue in May, pointing out that whenever troops leave, it will be no simple task to transport the people, equipment, and vehicles out of Iraq, possibly through hostile territory.

Eric Edelman, the Defense Department's undersecretary for policy, offered a sharply-worded response, saying such discussions boost the enemy.

"Premature and public discussion of the withdrawal of U.S. forces from Iraq reinforces enemy propaganda that the United States will abandon its allies in Iraq, much as we are perceived to have done in Vietnam, Lebanon and Somalia," Edelman wrote. His tough language in a letter obtained Thursday was surprising in part because it came in correspondence with a member of the Senate Armed Services Committee, which has oversight of the Pentagon.

Clinton responded Friday in a letter to Edelman's boss, Defense Secretary Robert Gates, asking if he agreed with Edelman's charge.

She said Edelman had ducked her questions and "instead made spurious arguments to avoid addressing contingency planning."

"Undersecretary Edelman has his priorities backward," Clinton wrote, calling his claim "outrageous and dangerous."

She repeated her request for a briefing - classified if necessary - on the issue of end-of-war planning.

The senator's spokesman Philippe Reines said: "We sent a serious letter to the Secretary of Defense, and unacceptably got a political response back."

As she runs for president, Clinton has ratcheted up her criticism of the Bush administration's war effort, answering critics of her 2002 vote to authorize the Iraq invasion by saying she would end the war if elected president.

If she wins, Clinton may find herself overseeing a troop withdrawal policy, but others have also raised the issue, including Republican Sen. Richard Lugar of Indiana.

Edelman's letter does indicate the Pentagon might be planning how to withdraw, saying: "We are always evaluating and planning for possible contingencies. As you know, it is longstanding departmental policy that operational plans, including contingency plans, are not released outside of the department."

Late Nite Jokes

Leno

The Iraqi government has met eight, only eight of the 18 benchmarks we have set. Eight. You know something? That’s more than our Congress has done. Can anyone name eight things Congress has done?

According to a new Zogby poll, the new Congress has hit another historic low — 14 percent of people approve of Congress. And that’s just the hookers who work for the D.C. madam.

Next month, right here in Los Angeles, the leading Democratic presidential candidates will hold a gay debate — it will be a televised debate to discuss just gay issues. Well, how much is John Edwards going to spend on his hair for that!

Letterman

Not too far from here, a big underground hot-water pipe exploded. Unbelievable — like a geyser! Nothing really fazes New Yorkers. Here’s what happened: A fat guy, he sees what’s going on, he gets undressed and takes a steam.

Right there in the middle of the street, there’s a 15-by-20-foot crater. Right in the middle of Lexington Avenue. But don’t worry; by tomorrow, it’ll have a Starbucks.

Britney Spears and her mother got into a slap fight. It got so bad, the baby pulled over and stopped the car.

Letterman's Top Ten

Top Ten Things

10. Popcorn shrimp

9. Shark Week

8. Balm

7. Snake venom antidote

6. Tommy Lasorda

5. Telemundo

4. Cole slaw

3. Season one of "Magnum P.I." on DVD

2. Fudge

1. Jessica Biel

Conan

Researchers at Johns Hopkins University are predicting that 75 percent of Americans will be overweight by the year 2015. But my fellow Americans, with a little teamwork, I think we can do it by the year 2010!

A couple getting married on Friday night said they’re going to leave their wedding reception early so they can be among the first people to buy the Harry Potter book. They’re leaving their wedding early. As a result, the back of the newlyweds’ car will have a sign that says, "Just Losers.”

MTV has just announced they are creating a cartoon series starring Paris Hilton. Not surprisingly, in the cartoon, Paris uses SpongeBob as a contraceptive.

Kimmel

Atlanta Falcons quarterback Michael Vick has been indicted for organizing pitbull fights at his house, and he’s in a lot of trouble. He could do six years in prison. Whatever happens, the one thing they’ve decided, "Who Let the Dogs Out” is definitely off the play list.

Hopeless Democratic presidential candidate Dennis Kucinich was hospitalized for food poisoning on Sunday night. He’s fine now; he’s been released from the Cleveland Children’s hospital.

He’s now back home resting comfortably in a hollow tree.

He must have eaten out of the wrong bird feeder . . . he is a vegan.

Hillary Boosting Enemy Propaganda

The Pentagon has issued a stinging rebuke to Democratic presidential front-runner Hillary Rodham Clinton, arguing that she is boosting enemy propaganda by asking how the U.S. plans to eventually withdraw from Iraq.

Under Secretary of Defense Eric Edelman wrote a biting reply to questions Clinton raised in May, urging the Pentagon to start planning now for the withdrawal of U.S. troops.

A copy of Edelman's response, dated July 16, was obtained Thursday by The Associated Press.

"Premature and public discussion of the withdrawal of U.S. forces from Iraq reinforces enemy propaganda that the United States will abandon its allies in Iraq, much as we are perceived to have done in Vietnam, Lebanon and Somalia," Edelman wrote.

He added that "such talk understandably unnerves the very same Iraqi allies we are asking to assume enormous personal risks."

Clinton, a member of the Senate Armed Services Committee, has privately and publicly pushed Defense Secretary Robert Gates and Joint Chiefs Chairman Peter Pace two months ago to begin drafting the plans for what she said will be a complicated withdrawal of troops, trucks and equipment.

"If we're not planning for it, it will be difficult to execute it in a safe and efficacious way," she said then.

Clinton spokesman Philippe Reines called the response "at once outrageous and dangerous."

"Redeploying out of Iraq with the same combination of arrogance and incompetence with which the Bush administration deployed our young men and women into Iraq is completely unacceptable, and our troops deserve far better," said Reines, who said military leaders should offer a withdrawal plan rather than "a political plan to attack those who question them."

As she runs for president, the New York senator has ratcheted up her criticism of the Bush administration's war effort, answering critics of her 2002 vote to authorize the Iraq invasion by saying she would end the war if elected president.

Edelman's letter does offer a passing indication the Pentagon might, in fact, be planning how to withdraw, saying: "We are always evaluating and planning for possible contingencies. As you know, it is long-standing departmental policy that operational plans, including contingency plans, are not released outside of the department."

Late Nite Jokes

Leno

Boy has it been a hot summer. They call this the dog days of summer. Especially if you’re Michael Vick.

Atlanta Falcons Michael Vick has been indicted for his alleged involvement in a dog fighting ring. You know how he got caught? A pointer picked him out.

Did you hear his excuse? He said, "The bitch set me up.”

A report card of Iraq shows progress in only eight of 18 areas. Of course, President Bush is thrilled. That’s the best report card he ever got in his life.

Letterman

Hurricane warning for New York City — whoa! Earlier today, workmen were busy boarding up Donald Trump’s hair.

We have had so much rain in New York City today, half of the puddles in Times Square were actually water.

Last night in D.C. they had that all night Senate session. It was the D.C. madam’s slowest night ever.

It was an eventful busy session . . . Barack Obama dozed for 15 minutes and raised another 10 million.

Conan

Last night the Senate held an all night session. Sen. Hillary Clinton gave a speech at 4 a.m. It was the first time Hillary gave a speech at 4 in the morning that didn’t begin with, "Where the hell have you been?”

President Bush announced a new campaign to solve the conflict between the Israelis and the Palestinians. When asked why, Bush said, "It’s fun to work on a problem I didn’t cause.”

Nelson Mandela just announced that he is starting a group called The Elders that will be made up of retired global leaders who will tackle world conflicts. Mandela said The Elders will be like the Fantastic Four, but with bladder problems.

Kimmel

The seventh and final Harry Potter book comes out on Friday night at midnight. It’s supposed to be top secret, but apparently someone got a hold of the book and took pictures of every page and posted them on the Internet. The publishers are worried it could hurt sales, which is terrible news because now the author, J.K. Rowling, might not be able to buy Puerto Rico.

Atlanta Falcons quarterback Michael Vick was indicted yesterday in connection with some vicious dog fights that allegedly went on at a house he owned in Virginia. Some of these dogs were executed. Michael says he was just following Bob Barker’s lead trying to control the pet population.

Let’s not rush to judgment. Maybe he had a good reason for electrocuting and shooting those dogs. Maybe they were conspiring to kill him.

It was revealed today that Oprah is backing Barack Obama. He joins Dreyer’s Frozen Fruit as one of Oprah’s favorite things. I guess their names are so similar she thought she was supporting herself for president.

Hillary, McCain Spar on Iraq War Strategy

Divisions over Iraq extended to the presidential campaign during the Senate's all-night debate, with Republican John McCain steadfastly backing President Bush's war strategy as Democratic rivals demanded troop withdrawals.

"Our defeat there would be catastrophic, not just for Iraq, but for us," the Arizona senator said Wednesday. "As long as we have a chance to succeed we must try to succeed."

In a speech just after 4 a.m., Democratic front-runner Hillary Rodham Clinton of New York argued: "It is time for us to move our troops out of harm's way in the middle of the Iraqi civil war."

The two were among several White House hopefuls in the Senate who participated in a marathon debate before voting on a Democratic-led measure ordering a drawdown in forces. The 52-47 vote fell short of the 60 votes needed to cut off debate under Senate rules.

Presidential candidates voted mostly along party lines, with McCain and Sen. Sam Brownback, R-Kan., opposing the measure, while Clinton and Sens. Barack Obama of Illinois, Chris Dodd of Connecticut and Joe Biden of Delaware supporting it. Sen. Chuck Hagel, a Nebraska Republican flirting with a bid, sided with the Democrats.

As the top Republican on the Armed Services Committee, McCain took the lead for the GOP during the debate. It was a fitting role, given that, aside from Bush, he is widely viewed as the Republican whose political fortunes are perhaps most tied to Iraq. He was on the floor Tuesday until about 10:15 p.m., returned for several hours in the middle of the night, and was back at it by dawn.

McCain has long acknowledged the United States has made mistakes in the war, and he referred to wartime errors as he condemned the Democratic measure. "I cannot react to those mistakes by embracing a course of action that I know will be an even greater mistake, a mistake of colossal historical proportions," he said.

Countering, Clinton argued that the U.S. military has accomplished its original missions: removing Saddam Hussein from power, helping Iraqis hold democratic elections and giving them the ability to start establishing a political framework. Thus, she said the United States must "start bringing our troops out of this multisided, sectarian civil war."

"Our message to the president is clear: It's time to start thinking of our troops and our broader position in Iraq and beyond, not next year, not next month, but today," she added.

Her chief rival, Obama, was scheduled to deliver remarks between 6 a.m. and 7 a.m. - around the start of the morning news shows - but a backlog caused him to cut short his speech when he took the floor several hours later than planned.

"All of us want to see our troops come home safely. All of us want the best possible result in Iraq," Obama said. "Given we have no good options at this point, that we have bad options and worse options, I think it is very important for us ... to recognize that none of us are interested in dictating military strategy to the president but rather to set a mission for the military."

Biden, chairman of the Senate Foreign Relations Committee, called the vote "merely a first step."

"We have to get us out of the middle of a civil war," he said. "But then we have to be in a position ... where we come up with a political solution."

Late Nite Jokes

Leno

Another scorching day. They say this heat is either due to global warming or because it's July. They are not quite sure.

At his press conference yesterday, where he admitted he had been involved with prostitutes, Louisiana Sen. David Vitter apologized to his longtime supporters. The working men and working girls of Louisiana.

He appeared at the press conference with his wife. Did you see the look on her face? I haven't seen a woman that happy since New Jersey Gov. Jim McGreevey gave his famous "I'm a gay American" speech.

In other political news, John McCain's communication director has quit. McCain had no immediate comment because his communication director quit.

Letterman

In the new Harry Potter movie, Harry defeats the evil wizard with a secret potion from Barry Bonds.

Everyone in New York City has Harry Potter fever. Today a guy on the subway was showing off his wand.

How about that Britney Spears? She wanted a dog so she went out and bought a dog . . . a $3,000 dog. Seems like it’s a lot of money, but it’s not just a dog, it’s a designated driver.

And a babysitter.

Letterman's Top Ten

Top Ten Titles Of My Recent Blog Entries

10. My big decision: hair plugs or hairpiece

9. A summary of today's hate mail

8. Fun places to take off your pants

7. 101 reasons why chocolate is better than men — am I right, ladies?

6. Ways to take down a gator

5. Tuesdays with Shecky

4. Rick, the creepy intern who won't stop staring at me [shot of creepy guy staring at Dave]

3. Are you there, God? It's me, Dave

2. Monkeys or kitties — which is cuter?

1. How is Scott Baio still single?!?!

Conan

The U.S. Senate is planning on holding a session on Capitol Hill that’s going to last all night. All night session. After hearing this, Bill Clinton asked, "Hillary won’t be home until when?”

According to a new AP poll, the most popular presidential candidate among registered Republican voters is "none of the above.” At the moment, Rudy Giuliani is running third just behind "Good Lord, not him.”

In a recent interview, the White House chef says that President Bush’s favorite meal is cheeseburger pizza. Next on the president’s list? Nachos spaghetti and corndog pudding.

It has been reported that Paris Hilton’s new boyfriend is a T-shirt designer. He’s the guy who designed the T-shirt, "I’m With Skanky.”

Kimmel

We are now seen in more than 13 cities nationwide. We are chewing through the South like a bucket of boll weevils.

David and Victoria Beckham arrived in L.A. from England last week. She’s the former Spice Girl, he’s the famous soccer player. I guess we’re supposed to be excited about this, even though we don’t care about soccer or the Spice Girls.

The L.A. Galaxy, a local indoor soccer team, paid out $250 million to sign him. They’re hoping he can do for soccer what Wayne Gretzky did for hockey, which means in 15 years no one will be watching soccer either.

Pelosi's Congress Approval Sinks to 14 Percent

Most U.S. voters think the country is on the wrong track and remain deeply unhappy with President George W. Bush and Congress, but still feel good about their finances and optimistic about the future, according to a Reuters/Zogby poll released on Wednesday.

Eighteen months before Bush leaves the White House, nearly two-thirds of Americans say the country is headed in the wrong direction and give the president negative marks for his job performance.

An even bigger majority, 83 percent, say the Democratic-controlled Congress is doing only a fair or poor job - the worst mark for Congress in a Zogby poll.

But despite their dim views of government, majorities of Americans remain upbeat about their personal finances and security, and nearly two-thirds are very or fairly confident their children will have a better life than they do.

Pollster John Zogby said the split between voters' views of government and of their personal well-being has grown in recent years, particularly after the failed federal response to Hurricane Katrina in 2005.

"Americans feel their government is not accomplishing the people's business," Zogby said. "They feel the system is seriously broken."

In the national survey of 1,012 likely voters, taken July 12 through July 14, about 66 percent said Bush had done only a fair or poor job as president, with 34 percent ranking his performance as excellent or good.

That is up slightly from his low of 30 percent in early March and in line with other national polls showing Bush's approval ratings lingering at or near historically low levels amid continued chaos and bloodshed in Iraq.

But the marks for Congress, mired in gridlock over a series of partisan political battles after Democrats took power in the 2006 elections, continued to drop.

While 83 percent said Congress was doing a fair or poor job, just 14 percent rated it excellent or good. Last October, in its final days, the Republican-led Congress earned ratings of excellent or good from 23 percent of voters.

"There is a growing sense that people voted for change in 2006 and they aren't getting it," Zogby said.

The poll showed only 26 percent of Americans thought the United States was on the right track and 64 percent thought it was on the wrong track.

Americans also have little confidence in U.S. foreign and economic policy. Two-thirds of those surveyed, 66 percent, said the direction of economic policy was fair or poor, and 76 percent said U.S. foreign policy was headed in a fair or poor direction.

But on a personal level, Americans feel relatively secure and comfortable with their own finances and safety. Nearly 82 percent of Americans said they feel very or fairly safe from "threats from abroad," and nearly 70 percent feel very or fairly secure in their jobs.

While 14 percent rated their personal financial situation as excellent and 10 percent as poor, the vast majority found themselves in the middle. About 43 percent rated their finances as good, and 43 percent as fair.

"Americans have made a serious adjustment. Their expectations have been tempered," Zogby said. "With little faith in government, you feel you are pretty much on your own."

Several years of headlines about possible torture of U.S. detainees, treatment of prisoners at the Guantanamo Bay detention center and international anger over the Iraq war has not dented the pride of Americans.

About two-thirds of the likely voters surveyed said they were "very" proud of the United States, with 22 percent saying they were "fairly" proud and 8 percent saying they were not very proud of their country.

The national telephone survey has a margin of error of plus or minus 3.1 percentage points.

Late Nite Jokes

Leno

It was so hot today, Mayor Antonio Villaraigosa had an affair with Ann Colter just to cool off.

Osama bin Laden has released another new video. That shows how dumb this guy is. He releases it the same week as Harry Potter.

And a video tape? Would it kill him to put out a DVD?

In Des Moines Iowa, former President Bill Clinton said he is backing his wife because she is the most qualified and not be cause of any spousal obligation. And believe me, if there’s one guy who’s not swayed by spousal obligation, it’s Bill Clinton.

Letterman

So hot here in New York City, instead of sunblock, they’re now recommending A-1 sauce.

So hot here in the city, earlier today, out on Broadway, everyone on the top deck of the tour bus was naked.

So hot that Lindsay Lohan checked herself out of rehab and into a Dairy Queen.

Here’s good news: The Pope will be visiting New York City next spring. He will be addressing the United Nations, then he’ll perform an exorcism at "The View.”

Letterman's Top Ten

Top Ten Things I'd Rather Be Doing Right Now

10. Knitting sweaters for my bulldogs Paris and Lindsay

9. Calling Regis Philbin and hanging up

8. Promoting my new line of jewelry on QVC

7. Horse play

6. Just coolin' with shorties, drinking some forties

5. Laminating clips and ticket stubs for my Carol Channing scrapbook

4. Wasting CBS airtime (oh wait, I am already doing that)

3. Lecturing teens on the dangers of online poker

2. Enjoying a chuckle over Jay's "Headlines"

1. Quietly sleeping, like our audience

Conan

The former mayor of Newark, N.J., has been indicted on corruption charges. If he’s found guilty he’ll have to serve five years in prison, or 10 years in Newark.

In a recent speech, Fidel Castro said the United States cannot successfully compete with Cuba. If you want to hear the speech, it’s available in Havana on eight-track tape.

The National Hockey League announced it’s going to kick off next season with a game in London. It’ll be the first time in League history that the people in the stands will have worse teeth than the guys on the ice.

On a recent Continental flight, a flight attendant kicked a mother and baby off the plane because the baby was too loud. They must have been loud, because the mother and baby were kicked off somewhere over Kansas.

Obama, Hillary Slam Court on Abortion Ruling

Democratic presidential contender Barack Obama criticized recent U.S. Supreme Court decisions as hypocritical and inconsistent on Tuesday, saying a ruling upholding a late-term abortion ban was part of a concerted effort to roll back women's rights.

Obama and Democratic White House rival Hillary Clinton, making separate appearances at a conference of abortion rights activists, pointed with pride to their Senate votes against the confirmation of Supreme Court Chief Justice John Roberts and Justice Samuel Alito.

The two leading Democrats in the 2008 presidential race courted women activists at the conference and said President George W. Bush was taking direct aim at overturning the landmark 1973 Roe v. Wade ruling legalizing abortion.

Obama said the court's 5-4 rulings to uphold the late-term abortion ban, make it harder for women to sue over pay discrimination and strike down race-based school assignment programs were part an effort "to steadily roll back the hard-won rights of American women."

"There is an inconsistency, and I believe a hypocrisy, in terms of how we see these decisions being issued," the Illinois senator said of the Supreme Court.

"When the science is inconvenient, when the facts don't match up with the ideology, they are cast aside," he said.

Analysts say the top U.S. federal court, led by Roberts and with its newest member Alito, shifted sharply to the right in the last session. Clinton accused Bush of pursuing a conservative political agenda through judicial nominations.

"At the top of the list was this effort to try to overturn Roe vs Wade or at least try to chip away at it," Clinton said, adding the Bush administration has waged war against contraception education and "set out from Day One to dismantle reproduction rights around the world."

Also appearing at the conference sponsored by the action fund of Planned Parenthood, a leading provider of reproductive services including abortion, was Elizabeth Edwards, wife of Democratic presidential contender John Edwards.

Clinton, a New York senator, leads Democratic White House contenders six months before the first votes in the nominating race and 16 months before the November 2008 election. Polls show her with large leads among Democratic women voters.

Both she and Obama said they would take a different approach in their Supreme Court appointments than Bush.

"I would appoint well-qualified judges who really respect the Constitution," Clinton said.

Obama said he would look into the heart of a potential Supreme Court nominee. "We need somebody who's got the empathy to recognize what it's like to be a young teen-aged mom," he said.

Rep. Duncan Hunter: Pardon Ramos and Compean

U.S. Border Patrol agents Ignacio Ramos and Jose Compean should be pardoned, Rep. Duncan Hunter, R-Calif., told a subcommittee of the Senate Judiciary Committee on Tuesday.

Hunter, a 2008 GOP presidential hopeful, said the prosecution of Ramos and Compean is a "great injustice,” adding that their case "called out for a pardon or commutation.”

Last October, U.S. District Court Judge Kathleen Cardone in El Paso, Texas, sentenced Compean to 12 years in prison and Ramos to 11 years and one day — despite a plea by their attorney for a new trial after three jurors said they were coerced into voting guilty in the case.

The two agents were convicted of firing at and wounding a reportedly unarmed illegal immigrant near Fabens, Texas. The illegal was suspected of drug smuggling and was granted immunity by federal prosecutors in exchange for his testimony against the agents.

Hunter testified that he had read all of the police, court, and prosecution files and further concluded that federal investigators failed to thoroughly investigate whether the illegal immigrant involved was armed at the time of the incident.

Hunter called the sentences "extremely unjust,” adding that he has issues with the credibility of the immunized testimony of the star witness, a drug dealer.

Hunter has said that if elected president, his first order of business will be to pardon the agents.

Rep. Dana Rohrabacher, R-Calif., who has also been critical of the prosecutions, exclaimed emotionally that the two agents are "now beginning their 180th day in solitary confinement!”

Rohrabacher conceded that Ramos and Compean had apparently tried to cover up the shooting and came up short in the paperwork reporting of the incident, but argued that the pair should have been reprimanded — not prosecuted for a felony.

"The Ramos and Compean case is the worst miscarriage of justice in my 30 years in Washington,” Rohrabacher testified.

During his testimony, T.J. Bonner, the president of the National Border Patrol Council, questioned whether federal prosecutors understated the threat of the illegal immigrant.

"In my 29 years of experience as a law enforcement officer, someone carrying that quantity of drugs is invariably armed,” Bonner said.

"There is no credible evidence that Osvaldo Aldrete-Davila, the Mexican national who was wounded by Ramos, was unarmed on February 17, 2005 while smuggling more than a million dollars worth of marijuana into the United States,” Bonner testified.

"The ramifications of this case will be felt by the Border Patrol,” Bonner said, interjecting an anecdote about a former border patrol recruit who eventually declined joining the force with the explanation: "You have to be crazy to join this outfit, because you eat your own.”

Luis Barker, deputy chief at the Office of Border Patrol, testified that cool and calm heads should lead in determining any potential miscarriage of justice.

"Though there is an emotional connection in this case, those of us in leadership and those having the responsibility to apply the rule of law cannot abdicate our responsibilities,” Barker explained to the panel. "It saddens me because had the two agents behaved with the integrity and honor that we instill, following procedure, disclosing the shooting, the results might have different.”

Barker added, "These agents destroyed evidence, filed an incomplete report in an effort to keep this shooting from leadership.”

David L. Botsford, the appellate counsel for Ramos, made several points to the panel:

The federal prosecutor erred in the making the immunity agreement with Davila, arguing that Davila "broached” that agreement in subsequent conversations and actions in Mexico.

Even the "wounded party” — Davila — has been quoted as saying the prison sentences against Compean and Ramos were "too harsh.”

The prosecutor, he opined, prevented the jury from hearing important facts of the case by engineering an unfair, inappropriate immunity agreement for Davila.

"If they had a good-faith belief that Davila had a gun, the law enforcement officials” should be able to use their firearm, Botsford testified. "Prosecuting” them for doing so sends a dangerous message to the law enforcement community, he added.

But Sen. Jeff Sessions, R-Ala., disagreed, noting, "A police officer is not allowed to shoot someone who is fleeing, if that person is no threat.”

Sessions, however, conceded that the "punishment was excessive . . . But we can’t just have border agents going around and shooting people.”

For his part, Sen. John Cornyn, R-Texas, whose state is home to agents Compean and Ramos, said that it is important to question whether the convictions of the agents were properly handled in all stages by the Department of Justice. He said he wants a thorough review of the circumstances surrounding the criminal case.

When U.S. Attorney Johnny Sutton, the top federal prosecutor in west Texas and the chief architect of the prosecutions began his say, it was to a capacity hearing room 226 at the Dirksen Senate Office Building.

"I do not take the prosecution of law enforcement officers lightly,” Sutton emphasized. "I admire border patrol agents and I believe they are American heroes. But a small percentage of border agents cross the line. Compean and Ramos crossed the line. They are not heroes.”

Sen. Dianne Feinstein, D-Calif., who pushed for the hearings on the fate of the agents, said she had been informed that Compean was offered a plea bargain of 18 months in prison before trial. She says Ramos was offered something similar. The plea bargains were rejected.

Sutton, however, refused to comment on any plea bargains, offering only that in his opinion the two agents had four very capable attorneys who represented them professionally at trial.

When Feinstein asked Sutton whether the jury knew the potential maximum sentences for the agents — before their deliberations — Sutton responded with a curt, "No.”

At one point, Sutton raised his voice and said, "Ramos and Compean have no one to blame but themselves. Instead of reporting like their duty-bound to do, they covered it up. That's why a west Texas jury convicted these guys. West Texas juries don't convict cops easily.”

Sutton quickly regained his composure and apologized for his "passion and emotion,” adding that he and his team of team of federal prosecutors had "taken a beating” over the prosecutions.

Sutton noted that his information indicated that many — if not most — marijuana dealers operating in and near El Paso do not carry guns.

However, David Aguilar, chief of the U.S. Border Patrol, informed the panel that violence against border agents was indeed increasing, overall, noting that there were 11 assaults against agents over a four day period last week, alone.

Aguilar further testified that there have 116 uses of deadly force since February 2005 — with 13 suspects killed.

Bush Will Act on Iran

Vice President "Cheney has limited capital left, but if he wanted to use all his capital on this one issue, he could still have an impact," Patrick Cronin, director of studies at the International Institute for Strategic Studies, told Britain's Guardian newspaper.

And what issue is he speaking of? An attack on Iran.

President Bush had, as recently as last year, favored and international approach to containing Iran and its nuclear threat - a position espoused by Sec. of State Condoleezza Rice and Defense Sec. Robert Gates. Although Rice did tell the Voice of America, when asked if the United States should consider military action in Iran, that President Bush "is never going to take his options off the table."

But the Guardian now reports that Bush has lately been listening more to Dick Cheney's point of view, which entails military action.

A well-placed source in Washington told the Guardian: "Bush is not going to leave office with Iran still in limbo," adding, "The balance has tilted. There is cause for concern."

The Guardian's source in Washington explained that as of now, Bush and Cheney do not trust potential successors from either political party to deal with Iran decisively.

Any reluctance to strike, however, originates with Israel. "The red line is not in Iran. The red line is in Israel. If Israel is adamant it will attack, the U.S. will have to take decisive action," Cronin adds. "The choices are: tell Israel no, let Israel do the job, or do the job yourself."

Israel’s Minister of Strategic Affairs said last week he had received approval from the U.S. and Europe for an Israeli attack on Iran’s nuclear facilities.

"If we start military operations against Iran alone, then Europe and the U.S. will support us,” Avigdor Lieberman said following a meeting with NATO and European Union officials.

The United States says Iran is intent on building a nuclear weapon and is arming insurgents in Iraq and Afghanistan.

Late Nite Jokes

Leno

The D.C. madam says that David Vitter sometimes paid $300 an hour just to have the hookers talk to him. Gave them $300 . . . didn’t have sex. Another example of government waste!

Here is another sex scandal. It seems that a member of the Florida House of Representatives, and the co-chairman of John McCain’s Florida campaign, a guy named Bob Allen, has been arrested for soliciting an undercover male police officer for sex. He also performed a sex act on the police officer for $20. Remember the good ole days when during campaigns you only had to kiss babies?

According to the current issue of Sports Illustrated, Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice has become a golf nut. She’s pretty good too. The only sand trap she can’t get out of? Iraq.

Former President Bill Clinton about to publish a new book called "Giving.” "Giving.” Shouldn’t getting be the name of his new book?

Letterman

It’s summer time! Time to pack up the family and head out to the water park to catch E. coli.

I love New York City in the summer time. Where else could you spend $25 on a sweat shirt?

Have you ever been to Spain, to Pamplona for the running of the bulls? New York City doesn’t really have anything like that, except that one time Donald Trump was out on Broadway being chased by Rosie O’Donnell.

The hookers on Times Square are offering a Friday the 13th special: For an extra 50 bucks, you’re guaranteed to get lucky.

Conan

Pageant officials say that Miss New Jersey won’t be punished despite posing for embarrassing photos. Officials said living with the title Miss New Jersey is punishment enough.

This week in Iran, Iranian designers held a fashion show using Iranian models. And guess what? For the 5,000th year in a row, burqas are in.

This week in Alaska, a man received four years' probation for illegally cutting off 100 seals’ penises. He got four years probation. His sentence would have been harsher, but the prosecution couldn’t find a seal brave enough to testify against him.

Ferguson

It’s Friday the 13th! If you’re a sexy teenager camping by a lake with other sexy teenagers, get out.

The guy in the hockey mask is not a goalie!

Webster’s announced the new words that are going to be in next year’s dictionary. One of them is ginormous. Ginormous! There’s not going to be a definition, just a picture. [Presents a picture of Jack Nicholson shirtless and overweight.]

Jack Nicholson . . . Do you know what I love about Jack? He’s old, he’s fat, and he doesn’t give a crap.

Kimmel

It’s Friday the 13th. I hope you bought something nice for the machete-wielding killer in your life.

Another debate last night among Democratic candidates for president. Still only 479 days till the election, everybody. Get ready.

Just as the debate was rapping up, John Edwards and Hillary Clinton started talking, and I guess they didn’t realize their mikes were still on. Here’s what was said [Edwards’ voice dubbed in]: "Hey Hillary, you need to call Maurice of Beverly Hills. Look at my hair, so luxurious so full. Tell him John Edwards sent you.”

The president’s approval rating just keeps getting lower and lower. Right now President Bush is ranked somewhere between former President Richard Nixon and the hunter who shot Bambi.

Israel 'Approved' to Strike Iran

NewsMax - Israel’s Minister of Strategic Affairs said he has received approval from the U.S. and Europe for an Israeli attack on Iran’s nuclear facilities.

"If we start military operations against Iran alone, then Europe and the U.S. will support us,” Avigdor Lieberman said following a meeting with NATO and European Union officials.

Lieberman said the Western powers recognized the Iranian nuclear threat to Israel, Israel Today magazine reported. But military operations in Iraq and Afghanistan are "going to prevent the leaders of countries in Europe and America from deciding on the use of force to destroy Iran’s nuclear facilities,” and they are sending the message that Israel should "prevent the threat herself.”

Late Nite Jokes

Leno

Boy, there are a lot of sex scandals in the news this week. It's unbelievable. Our own mayor here in Los Angeles has admitted to having an affair with a very young, very attractive reporter from the Spanish language network . . . whose job it was to cover him. She was supposed to cover him. Talk about being an embedded reporter.

The darling of the religious right, conservative Sen. David Vitter of Louisiana, has not only admitted to having sex with prostitutes, he would pay them $300 to make him wear diapers. Today that crazy astronaut called him "my dream guy. He's got my vote.”

Hillary Clinton, John Edwards, and Barack Obama have all agreed to appear at the first ever gay debate. The whole debate will only deal with gay issues. Like gay marriage and things like that. They are calling it the first ever all musical presidential debate.

John Edwards said today that he has always supported gay rights. Edwards said the only problem he's ever had with gays is that they charge too much for a haircut. Other than that . . . he has no issues.

Letterman

Beautiful weather today. So beautiful, down in Washington D.C., that senator from Louisiana took a couple of hookers to the park.

David Vitter, I think that's his name, has admitted he dates hookers in Washington D.C. and in Louisiana. He said in his defense, he always selected the girls who made the lowest bid. So he’s fiscally prudent.

President Bush was talking about Iraq today, and he said the United States and Iraq have made eight of the 18 benchmarks required in Iraq. If things don’t improve, people are going to start to think the war’s not going well.

Homeland Security chief Michael Chertoff said he had a gut feeling there could be a new terror attack. Coincidentally, Al Gore said he had a gut feeling that he needed more pie.

Letterman's Top Ten

Top Ten Reasons To Be Happy

10. Cookies

9. Pluto no longer a planet

8. The upcoming ABC sitcom featuring those hilarious Geico cavemen

7. Mojitos!

6. Thanks to technological advances, some LensCrafters can now make glasses in about 55 minutes

5. Tony and Anna are one step closer to getting together on "Days of Our Lives"

4. Only three more items left on this list

3. Bite-size popcorn chicken shakers, for a limited time only at Arby's

2. Discount Mexican Viagra

1. Jessica Biel

Conan

In Spain this week, the annual Running of the Bulls was held. This year, seven runners were gored by bulls. The runners are doing fine, but the bulls can’t stop laughing.

Later this summer, the first ever gay debate will be held. Democratic candidates will answer questions posed by the gay community. Question No. 1: Why can’t healthcare be more fabulous?

Sad news. Former first lady, Lady Bird Johnson, passed away at age 94. Laura Bush praised her as a pioneer, an icon, while President Bush praised her as a lady and a bird.

This week former New York Mayor Rudy Giuliani said he opposed medical marijuana. However, Giuliani did say he is a huge supporter of medical Rogaine.

Ferguson

Ryan Seacrest admitted that he cried last weekend at Eva Longoria’s wedding. He cried when Eva Longoria married NBA star Tony Parker. Hang in there Ryan, someday you’ll find someone just like Tony.

People who are using the iPods are getting hit by lightning! It only happens when you listen to James Blunt.

Frankly, if you’re listening to that, you deserve it.

Kimmel

It was 194 degrees in Las Vegas today. All over town, women have been forced to take off their clothes and rub their bodies against cold metal poles just to survive.

I guess everyone’s going to the movies to stay cool, because this new Harry Potter movie made $44 million in one day. Harry Potter and the Order of Linguine and Clams, I think.

Paris Hilton has a new shirt. It has a picture of herself. That’s so if she gets lost, she will remember who she is.

McGovern Doubts Anti-war Democrat Can Win

George McGovern, who ran for president as an anti-Vietnam War candidate in 1972, says he has doubts an anti-war Democrat can win the White House in 2008.

"Some people point to the fact that the war in Vietnam was dreadfully unpopular, but that when I came out for an immediate withdrawal, it helped me win the nomination but not the general election,” said McGovern, 84.

"I’m not sure that an anti-war Democrat can win.”

While nine in 10 Democrats do not support the Iraq war, more than six in 10 Republicans still do, according to a Pew Research Center poll.

And pundits believe Democrats could hurt their chances of winning the presidency if they go so far in their opposition to the war as to vote to hold back funding for the military effort.

"It’s one thing for [Democrats] to say, ‘Get out’ or ‘redeploy,’ or ‘divide the country into thirds,’” Mark Salter, an adviser to GOP presidential hopeful John McCain, told The Politico. "But it’s another to say, ‘We won’t fund the troops.’ That, I think, will be a pretty costly mistake in the general election.”

And David Gergen, an adviser in four presidential administrations, said: "Democrats could still blow this, particularly if they get themselves into a posture where they were to force all the troops to come home over the next six months.

"That would leave them very vulnerable, because Republicans could argue that whatever chaos erupts, that has Democratic fingerprints all over it.”

But for his part, McGovern – who staunchly opposes the Iraq war – said Democratic front-runner Hillary Clinton is trying to appear "tough” by tempering her opposition to the conflict, and wishes she would come out "stronger in favor of disengagement.”

He told Politico: "Some of our greatest presidents have compromised their positions in order not to offend large elements of the voting public. It’s possible that’s what Hillary is doing.”

Late Nite Jokes

Leno

It was so hot today, Lou Dobbs proposed building a wall between the earth and the sun.

It was so hot, I saw a dog licking an ice cube, then licking himself.

It was so hot our mayor was having sex with a reporter from an Alaskan TV station.

Because of the war in Iraq, President Bush’s popularity has now plunged to 2 percent B.C. You know what that means, B.C.? Below Carter. It doesn’t get any worse than that.

Letterman

Here’s some good news: Subway crime is down. So apparently, the troop surge is working.

It’s been weeks since I’ve been ridiculed for the contents of my briefcase by subway punks.

Osama bin Laden’s son Omar just got married. Let’s see how he likes being terrorized.

The couple has all the pipe bombs they need, what they could really use is a fondue set.

Letterman's Top Ten

Top Ten Least Popular Conversation Starters

10. "Can you tell I have drug-resistant tuberculosis?"

9. "How do you like my al-Qaida t-shirt?"

8. "Wanna see me drop my pants and fire a rocket?"

7. "I once lived across the street from Maury Povich"

6. "Here kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty . . ."

5. "If you were a woman, I bet you'd be pretty"

4. "Are you a cop?"

3. "Hi, I'm Shecky"

2. "Anyone watch 'Letterman' last night?"

1. "Mind if I call you mommy?"

Conan

A new poll claims that Dick Cheney has a 59 percent disapproval rating which makes him the least popular vice president in U.S. history. Even worse, the only people polled were Cheney’s wife and kids.

Next month, the Democratic presidential candidates will host a debate focused entirely on gay issues. Apparently in the gay debate, when one candidate disagrees with another, they’re required to begin the rebuttal with, "Girlfriend, paaleese.”

Ryan Seacrest attended Eva Longoria’s wedding. He said he cried during the ceremony because it was so moving. Meanwhile, Paula Abdul cried because it was a cash bar.

Ferguson

Congratulations to Charlie Sheen, who’s marrying his long-time girlfriend. I have to say . . . Charlie Sheen has a long-time girlfriend?

What constitutes long time here? "Well, it’s past six . . . "

Of course, the big news is the new Harry Potter movie comes out today. I’ve seen it. Spoiler alert! Harry Potter comes out of the closet.

GOP Fights to Protect Free Market Talk Radio

This article was written by Randy Hall, staff writer and editor at CNSNews.com

The battle over whether to reinstate the controversial Fairness Doctrine moved to the Senate on Wednesday, when Republicans introduced a measure intended to permanently prevent the Federal Communications Commission from using what they called "the heavy hand of government control over talk radio."

A liberal media analyst criticized the move, telling Cybercast News Service that conservative media had once again "whipped the Republicans into a frenzy over a fake issue."

Taking aim at the regulation, which required broadcasters to present both sides of a controversial issue and remained in force from 1949 until the late 1980s, Sen. Norm Coleman, R-Minn., addressed a news conference on Capitol Hill.

"Today, in an age of high-speed Internet, broadband technology and satellite radio, when we have incredible opportunities for people to get access to information, bringing back the so-called Fairness Doctrine is a bad idea, and it's certainly not fair," he said.

Coleman noted that at the time when the FCC implemented the regulation, only a few broadcasters were operating. In 1987, the agency had determined that the rule was no longer necessary due to the emergence of a "multiplicity of voices in the marketplace," he said.

Since then, he added, "talk radio has flourished due to free market ideas."

"We live in ... a world in which you can simply change the dial or turn the radio off. But we don't want government in the business of censoring or monitoring and applying a standard that is basically unfair," he said

"Here they go again," said Sen. Jim DeMint, R-S.C., who described efforts to revive the regulation as "nothing more than an attempt to muzzle the free speech of conservative Americans."

In recent weeks, Democrats, including Sens. John Kerry (Mass.), Diane Feinstein (Calif.) and Dick Durbin (Ill.), have called for the Fairness Doctrine to be reinstated or at least re-examined.

On the June 26 Bryan Lehrer radio show, for instance, Kerry stated: "I think the Fairness Doctrine ought to be there, and I also think the Equal Time doctrine ought to come back. ... [Conservatives have] been able to squeeze down and squeeze out opinion of opposing views. And I think it's been a very important transition in the imbalance of our public dialogue."

But DeMint told the press conference Wednesday, "If liberals had their way, this unfair doctrine would give the heavy hand of government control over talk radio," DeMint added. "We must act now to preserve all Americans' first amendment rights."

The GOP senators have introduced an amendment to the Department of Defense authorization bill that aims to prevent the FCC from reintroducing the doctrine.

Another participant in the news conference was Rep. Mike Pence, R-Ind., the author of a similar measure for the upcoming fiscal year in the House of Representatives, already approved by a vote of 309 to 115.

While the language of the Senate measure has not been finalized, it is expected to closely follow Pence's amendment, which stated that the FCC "shall not have the authority to prescribe any rule, regulation, policy, doctrine, standard or other requirement that has the purpose or effect of reinstating or repromulgating (in whole or in part) the requirement that broadcasters present opposing viewpoints on controversial issues of public importance, commonly referred to as the 'Fairness Doctrine.'"

The Senate legislation "will prevent this or any future administration from reintroducing the Fairness Doctrine without an act of Congress," Pence said, adding that the regulation should be left "on the ash heap of broadcast history, where it belongs."

As Cybercast News Service previously reported, the liberal Center for American Progress (CAP) and the media reform group Free Press recently issued a report declaring that "right-wing talk reigns supreme on America's airwaves."

Their recommendations to "close the gap" between the amount of conservative and liberal talk on the air included increased government regulation and greater diversity of commercial radio station owners. They did not call for reinstating the Fairness Doctrine.

Mark Lloyd, a CAP senior fellow, told Cybercast News Service on Wednesday that the GOP news conference was the result of conservative talk radio influencing certain Republicans.

The real issue is "ownership rules that do not serve the public interest," said Lloyd. But "instead of addressing this real issue of ownership, Fox News and talk radio and Drudge [the Drudge Report website] want to shift the focus to the Fairness Doctrine. We'll continue to say that our goal is greater diversity in media ownership."

However, Sen. James Inhofe, R-Okla., used Wednesday's news conference to criticize the CAP/Free Press report's suggestion of "a spectrum use fee" that would be levied on uncooperative station owners "to directly support local, regional and national public radio."

"Not only would [radio talk show host] Sean Hannity be off the air, but he'd have to financially support public radio" as well, the senator stated.

David Rehr, president and CEO of the National Association of Broadcasters, said in a statement Wednesday that restoring the rule "would stifle the growth of diverse views and, in effect, make free speech less free."

"Today, there are over 13,000 radio stations, more than 1,700 TV stations, nine broadcast TV networks, hundreds of cable and satellite channels, scores of mobile media devices and an infinite number of Internet sites that cater to every political persuasion and ideology," Rehr said.

"Bringing back the Fairness Doctrine is unnecessary, unwarranted and unconstitutional," he added.

Late Nite Jokes

Leno

Does anyone have one of these new iPhones? It’s part of the new revolution in electronic entertainment. They say in a few years you will be able to watch any TV show anytime, anywhere. In fact, they say one day it will be possible for viewers to ignore NBC 24 hours a day.

Today family values conservative Republican senator from Louisiana, David Vitter, admitted that he has had sex with prostitutes. Apparently, years ago this Sen. Vitter guy had been seeing one of the D.C. madam’s escorts. You think the senator is embarrassed how about the hooker? Now the whole world knows she had sex with a politician.

John Edwards is on the campaign trail. He is now doing something called his "poverty tour” where he is visiting people who have no money and no hope. In fact, his first stop today — John McCain’s headquarters.

Did you hear what happened today with Mayor Villaraigosa? I guess he tried to give someone the key to the city but it didn’t work because his wife had the locks changed.

Letterman

Hot and miserable here in New York City today. It was 93 and unbearable. Just like Regis.

There are prostitutes in Washington D.C. and it turns out that senators and congressmen and important and powerful people are dating the prostitutes. There’s a senator from Louisiana, David Vitter, who admitted that he’s been dating prostitutes, and he was very generous with one girl. He paid her with a new highway project in her home state.

At least he went to a professional and left the congressional pages alone.

They’ve updated the Seven Wonders of the World. Here’s the real wonder of the world. How I’ve managed to stay on television for 30 years.

Letterman's Top Ten

Top Ten Words You Couldn't Say On Television 20 Years Ago

10. Nutmeat

9. Manhole

8. Dicker

7. Niblet

6. Titmouse

5. Pussyfoot

4. Aer Lingus

3. Angina

2. Dick Butkus

1. Ballcock

Conan

President Bush hosted a town meeting-style event in Cleveland. During the event, Bush discussed strategies for getting out of Iraq and strategies for getting out of Cleveland.

The other day Hillary Clinton returned to her old stomping ground, Arkansas. For old times sake she stopped by the governor’s mansion and tore the guy a new one.

The new Harry Potter movie comes out this week. One reviewer called it the dullest Harry Potter ever. He may be right because the new movie is called "Harry Potter and the Low-Yield Municipal Bonds.”

Ferguson

There’s a new study that says women are attracted to men with muscles. Oh, wow. Those scientists just get smarter and smarter.

There’s a heatwave in L.A. and all across the country. Some say global warming, some say that other mysterious phenomenon — summer.

That Washington D.C. madam has revealed her client list. Surprise surprise — the list includes some politicians. I didn’t think that when the Washington D.C. madam released the list of her clients that there’d be any politicians on it!

Kimmel

Tonight for the first time ever, we are on in the city of Atlanta. For the four and half years we’ve been on, we’ve never been on in Atlanta. Can you imagine the suffering these people have been through?

This is our 894th show. For Atlanta, let me try to catch you up on the 893.

Kids are getting their first view of Harry Potter’s new movie, "Harry Potter Burns in Hell.” In the end, Lord Voldermort kills Harry with a very vicious atomic wedgie.

GOP Senate Defectors Are 'Wimps'

A long-awaited progress report on Iraq is being issued Thursday, with unity within President Bush's Republican party fraying, not to mention civility.

"Wimps," House Republican leader John Boehner calls GOP defectors in the Senate - a growing breed as public opinion polls chart ever-deepening opposition to the war and a climbing U.S. casualty count 16 months before the 2008 elections.

With both houses of Congress debating war-related legislation, lawmakers awaited the Bush administration's assessment Thursday of political, economic and military progress made by Iraqi Prime Minister Nouri al-Maliki's government.

Administration officials said in advance the report concludes that the Iraqis have failed to pass long-promised laws that the administration has called key to national cohesion and economic recovery, such as legislation that would fairly divide Iraq's oil resources.

But officials said the report also would show progress in several areas, such as a drop in sectarian killings in Baghdad and opposition to al-Qaida terrorists by tribal sheiks in Anbar province.

Predictably, Democrats say the findings are proof the war effort is failing, while Republicans say the limited progress shows hope and that lawmakers should not lose faith.

Boehner, R-Ohio, made his "wimps" remark in a private meeting Wednesday with rank-and-file Republicans - ironically at nearly the same moment that several GOP senators beseeched the White House without apparent success for a quick change in course on Iraq.

"I'm hopeful they (White House officials) change their minds," Sen. Pete Domenici, R-N.M., said after a meeting that President Bush's national security adviser, Stephen Hadley, held with several Republicans in the Capitol.

Domenici and several other GOP members, including Sens. Richard Lugar of Indiana and George Voinovich of Ohio, say they want Bush to begin reducing the military's role in Iraq. In the meeting, Hadley said Bush wants to wait until September when Gen. David Petraeus, the Iraq war commander, will reassess military progress.

Emboldened by the Republican divide, Democrats called for a vote on legislation to end U.S. combat operations next year. The House planned to vote first on Thursday.

Boehner spokesman Brian Kennedy said the lawmaker's comments "were intended to illustrate the fact that we just recently voted to give the troops our full support - including ample time for the Petraeus plan to work, and that too much is at stake for Congress to renege on its commitment now by approving what can only be described as another partisan stunt by Democrats."

A senior U.S. official familiar with the report's conclusions said it would assess Iraq's progress toward congressional benchmarks in three main categories: completed, partially completed and those that show limited or no progress.

Most of the bigger and more difficult issues, the ones that the Bush administration has said were key to Iraq's national cohesion and economic future, likely would fall into the partially completed category, the official said. One major exception was the expectation that Iraq's government would pass a law redressing the effects of a policy to purge Baath Party members following Iraqi President Saddam Hussein's ouster during the U.S.-led invasion of Iraq in 2003. There has been almost no progress on that goal.

The official said the Iraqi government would get a passing grade on a few of the military benchmarks that demonstrate its cooperation with Bush's troop buildup this spring.

"It's going to be a mixed picture," the official said.

The official spoke on condition of anonymity because the report was not yet public.

Late Nite Jokes

Leno

It was hot today, wasn’t it? I’ll tell you I was sweating more than Bill Clinton looking at lingerie at Lane Bryant.

It so different living in Beverly Hills when it’s hot. It’s just different. Like the kids out here, when it gets hot, in my neighborhood they set up a lemonade tasting stand.

Did you see all those doctors last week involved in that terrorist attack at the Glasgow airport? How scary was that? You thought the docs at your HMO were bad.

Happy birthday to President Bush, who turned 61 on Friday. But since he’s the president, he had his age commuted down to 59.

Letterman

Here’s how hot it is in New York City today. Over at St. Patrick’s, the holy water is whistling.

So hot down there in Washington, D.C., a chunk of ice fell off of Dick Cheney.

So hot Scooter Libby wishes he was in the cooler.

So hot Ted Williams said, "Who’s crazy now?”

Conan

Earlier today a new list of the Seven Wonders of the World were unveiled and the list includes the Great wall of China, The Taj Mahal and the Coliseum in Rome. After seeing the list, President Bush asked, "What about Space Mountain?

This week, the city of Pamplona, Spain is hosting the annual running of the bulls. Or as the bulls call it, the annual trampling of the jerks.

Nicole Richie has finally confirmed that she is pregnant. Richie said she could tell she was pregnant when she started throwing up twice as often.

Miss New Jersey is claiming that someone has embarrassing photos of her and is trying to blackmail her. Apparently, the embarrassing photos show her in a sash that reads, "New Jersey."

Ferguson

Did you watch the Live Earth concert against global warming? Neither did I!

I was shoveling coal into my styrofoam factory, enjoying roast penguin.

James Hetfield of the band Metallica was detained at the airport in London because they thought he was a terrorist. James Hetfield! [Picture of Hetfield with Saddam Hussein’s head superimposed.]

Huckabee Hits Michael Moore

Former Arkansas governor and GOP presidential hopeful Mike Huckabee told reporters today, "Michael Moore is an example of why the health care system costs more in this country,” according to a NY Times report.

Huckabee criticized the controversial maker of "Sicko" for his remarks during an exchange earlier this week with CNN anchor Wolf Blitzer and the network’s chief medical correspondent, Dr. Sanjay Gupta.

Huckabee recalled how his own health care costs dropped significantly after he lost more than 100 pounds over a period of several years. Huckabee, at one time, weighed in at a hefty 300 pounds. He is now trim, fit and runs marathons.

He has often said that what we have in this country is not so much a health care crisis as as a health crisis. That health crisis is brought on, he opines, by the unhealthy American lifestyle that leads to obesity and accompanying health consequences as Diabetes.

The comment about Moore being an "example" may have been a none-too-subtle reference to the filmaker's own extra poundage.

When not on the subject of Moore, Huckabee chatted about the looming Ames Straw Poll In Iowa and how it will be a major test of the viability of his campaign.

The optomistic Huckabee said that the poll would be a "big boost” for his presidential bid.

Late Nite Jokes

Ferguson

It’s our president’s birthday. He’s 61 today. Also, Sylvester Stallone is 61 today. But Stallone and Bush don’t have much in common. One’s a bad actor who mumbles and blows stuff up, and the other is Sylvester Stallone.

It’s very hot here on the West Coast. People want air conditioning so bad, they’re even going to see that new Robin Williams movie.

The biggest news today is that a half squid, half octopus has been found terrorizing the sea. It was caught off of Keahole Point in Hawaii. Not the weirdest thing found in the ocean. The weirdest thing down there, I’m not kidding, is the vampire squid from hell. It’s found in tropical oceans. The vampire squid’s Latin name is Vampireus Bob Barkerus.

Bias 'Problem' Among College Professors

As legislation is introduced in more than a dozen states across the country to counter political pressure and proselytizing on students in college classrooms, a majority of Americans believe the political bias of college professors is a serious problem, a new Zogby Interactive poll shows.

Nearly six in 10 - 58 percent - said they see it as a serious problem, with 39 percent saying it was a "very serious" problem.

The online survey of 9,464 adult respondents nationwide was conducted July 5-9, and carries a margin of error of +/- 1 percentage point.

Predictably, whether political bias is a problem depends greatly on the philosophy of the respondents. While 91 percent of very conservative adults said the bias is a "serious problem," just 3 percent of liberals agreed.

Conservatives have long held that college campuses are a haven for liberal professors. The activist group Students for Academic Freedom, founded by David Horowitz, has promoted state legislation invoking a "Students Bill of Rights" on campuses to protect conservative students from academic reprisals by professors who hold contradictory beliefs.

Men were much more likely than women to see the bias of professors as a problem - 64 percent of men agreed, while 53 percent of women said the same.

Whites were twice as likely to call it a "serious problem" as African-Americans, the survey showed.

The survey also showed that an overwhelming majority also believe that job security for college professors leaves them less motivated to do a good job than those professors who do not enjoy a tenured status - 65 percent said they believe non-tenured professors are more motivated to do a good job in the classroom.

Asked whether they think the quality of a college education today is better or worse than it was 25 years ago, 46 percent said they think it is worse, while 29 percent said it is better. Another 16 percent said the quality now is about the same as it was a generation ago.

China Executes Ex-Food and Drug Chief

China executed the former head of its food and drug watchdog on Tuesday for approving untested medicine in exchange for cash, the strongest signal yet from Beijing that it is serious about tackling its product safety crisis.

The execution of former State Food and Drug Administration director Zheng Xiaoyu was confirmed by state television and the official Xinhua News Agency.

During Zheng's tenure from 1998 to 2005, his agency approved six medicines that turned out to be fake, and the drug-makers used falsified documents to apply for approvals, according to previous state media reports. One antibiotic caused the deaths of at least 10 people.

"The few corrupt officials of the SFDA are the shame of the whole system and their scandals have revealed some very serious problems," agency spokeswoman Yan Jiangying said at a news conference held to highlight efforts to improve China's track record on food and drug safety.

Yan was asked to comment on Zheng's sentence and that of his subordinate, Cao Wenzhuang, a former director of SFDA's drug registration department who was last week sentenced to death for accepting bribes and dereliction of duty. Cao was given a two-year reprieve, a ruling which is usually commuted to life in prison if the convict is deemed to have reformed.

"We should seriously reflect and learn lessons from these cases. We should step up our efforts to ensure food and drug safety, which is what we are doing now and what we will do in the future," Yan said.

Zheng, 63, was convicted of taking cash and gifts worth $832,000 when he was in charge of the State Food and Drug Administration.

His death sentence was unusually heavy even for China, believed to carry out more court-ordered executions than all other nations combined, and indicates the leadership's determination to confront the country's dire product safety record.

Fears abroad over Chinese-made products were sparked last year by the deaths of dozens of people in Panama who took medicine contaminated with diethylene glycol imported from China. It was passed off as harmless glycerin.

Yan said she did not have any information about whether the Chinese manufacturer, Taixing Glycerin Factory, and the Chinese distributor, CNSC Fortune Way, had been punished.

"We will try to get more information from the department concerned and we will release it to you," Yan said. She wouldn't elaborate.

China admitted last month that it was the source of the deadly chemical that ended up in cough syrup and other treatments but insists the chemical was originally labeled as for industrial use only. Beijing blames the Panama traders who eventually bought the shipment for fraudulently relabeling it as medical-grade glycerin.

In North America earlier this year, pet food containing Chinese wheat gluten tainted with the chemical melamine was blamed for the deaths of dogs and cats.

Since then, U.S. authorities have turned away or recalled toxic fish, juice containing unsafe color additives and popular toy trains decorated with lead paint.

Yan said the food and drug administration was working to tighten its safety procedures and create a more transparent operating environment. The administration has already announced a series of measures to tighten safety controls and closed factories where illegal chemicals or other problems were found.

But Yan acknowledged that her agency's supervision of food and drug safety remains unsatisfactory and that it has been slow to tackle the problem.

"China is a developing country and our supervision of food and drugs started quite late and our foundation for this work is weak, so we are not optimistic about the current food and drug safety situation," Yan said.

Chinese officials have already said the country faces social unrest and a further tarnished image abroad unless it improves the quality and safety of its food and medicine.

The government has faced increasing pressure from its international trading partners to improve quality controls after a series of health scares attributed to substandard or tainted Chinese food and drug exports.

The list of food scares within China over the past year includes drug-tainted fish, banned Sudan dye used to color egg yolks red, and pork tainted with clenbuterol, a banned feed additive.

China has also stepped up its inspections of imported products and said some U.S. products are not safe.

In the latest case, the official Xinhua News Agency reported Tuesday that a shipment of sugar-free drink mix from the United States had been rejected for having too much red dye.

Last week, China's food safety watchdog said almost 20 percent of products made for consumption within China were found to be substandard in the first half of 2007. Canned and preserved fruit and dried fish were the most problematic, primarily because of excessive bacteria and additives, the agency said.

Late Nite Jokes

Ferguson

Great day for America. America is back on top. We’re No 1 in hotdog eating!

US Weekly is reporting that Nicole Richie is pregnant. Apparently they can tell that Nicole Richie is pregnant because she’s only throwing up in the morning.

Big political news. There was a mix up yesterday at the Hillary Clinton rally in Iowa. Bill Clinton showed up, and people thought he was Bob Barker. They were all disappointed. So was Hillary. She thought he was going to get spayed and neutered.

Giuliani Looks Beyond Early Primary States

NewsMax - Rudy Giuliani is using his fundraising advantage among Republican presidential candidates to expand his campaign organizations beyond early nominating contests and into bigger, more expensive states like Florida and California.

Giuliani campaign manager Michael DuHaime, in a teleconference with reporters, said the former New York mayor's fundraising - he hauled in $15 million for the primaries during the last three months - has given him the flexibility to establish a presence in a dozen states.

"We're very confident right now that we are in a very, very strong place," DuHaime said.

The expansion represents a competing view of how to succeed in the primary contests and exposes a potential weakness for Giuliani in the early January contests, particularly in Iowa where he decided to forgo a popular political straw poll next month.

Former Massachusetts Gov. Mitt Romney has campaign organizations in a few states and has already spent heavily on advertising in Iowa and New Hampshire. Sen. John McCain of Arizona, faced with weaker fundraising, was forced to scale back his organization this week. He has narrowed his strategy to Iowa, New Hampshire and South Carolina.

Giuliani was campaigning in Florida on Thursday. Campaign aides said Giuliani has made 11 trips to Florida and another 11 to California. He has made only five visits to New Hampshire and four to Iowa. Florida and California, however, are popular stops in the fundraising circuit; Iowa and New Hampshire are not.

Florida's primary is set for Jan. 29. California is Feb. 5, along with New York, New Jersey and some 15 more states.

In Daytona Beach, Giuliani visited American Industrial Plastics, which makes parts for the aerospace, medical technology and oil drilling industries, to make the point that President Bush's tax cuts have helped companies and should be made permanent.

"AIP is a living example of the wisdom of tax cuts and the last thing in the world we need in 2008 is somebody sitting in the White House that's going to take us back to the taxes that we had during the Clinton era," Giuliani said in a speech to AIP employees. "That's essentially what the Democrats want to do."

Meanwhile, DuHaime portrayed Giuliani as the Republican most likely to beat a Democrat in the general election by holding his own in states that have traditionally fallen in the Democratic column.

DuHaime said television advertising is the most expensive in some of those places - New York, Los Angeles, Chicago - and Democrats in recent years have not had to spend much money in those markets.

"Mayor Giuliani puts those in play. So the more money Democrats have to spend, and I know they can raise a lot of money - we've seen that. The more money they have to spend defending that turf, that's less money for Ohio, less money for Florida, less money for swing states like Iowa. Mayor Giuliani changes this map," DuHaime said.

He played down the fundraising advantage Democrats have displayed in the first six months of the year. Democrats Barack Obama, Hillary Rodham Clinton and John Edwards together raised $62 million in primary money in the second quarter of the year, compared with $40 million raised by Giuliani, Romney and McCain.

"The bottom line is we know when the mayor wins the primary, there's going to be an awful lot of money that comes forward," DuHaime said.

The campaign's argument that Giuliani is the most electable candidate comes as Romney has been making inroads in public opinion polls in Iowa and New Hampshire.

Giuliani's stance in support of abortion rights and moderate-to-liberal views on other social issues are some of the very qualities that could attract independent voters in a general election. They are also stands that could hurt him in caucus and primary states like Iowa and South Carolina.