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Bin Laden Adopts Democrat Talking Points

In a remarkable geopolitical meeting of minds, the pre-election address of top global terrorist Osama bin Laden shows he has adopted many of the Democratic Party's talking points.

NewsMax: Transcripts of the address released late Friday reveal such stunning similarities that it's obvious bin Laden has been following the U.S. presidential race very closely - and he agrees on issue after issue with domestic critics of the Bush administration.

Dem Talking Point No. 1: BUSH STOLE THE 2000 ELECTION
In bin Laden's version, President George H.W. Bush began planning to steal the 2000 election years in advance:

"He was bright in putting his sons as governors in states and he didn't forget to transfer his experience from rulers of our region to Florida to falsify elections to benefit from it in critical times."

Dem Talking Point No. 2: BUSH MISLED AMERICA
In bin Laden's version, the terror kingpin warns that Bush is covering up the "true reason" for the 9/11 attacks:

"Although we are ushering the fourth year after 9/11, Bush is still exercising confusion and misleading you and not telling you the true reason. Therefore, the motivations are still there for what happened to be repeated."

Dem Talking Point No. 3: BUSH WASTED TIME ON 9/11 BY STAYING WITH CHILDREN READING IN A CLASSROOM
Bin Laden distorts the 9/11 timeline to pretend that the Twin Towers weren't already under attack as Bush listened to children read a book in a Florida elementary school class:

"We never knew that the commander in chief of the American armed forces would leave 50,000 of his people in the two towers to face those events by themselves when they were in the most urgent need of their leader. He was more interested in listening to the child's story about the goat rather than worry about what was happening to the towers. So, we had three times the time necessary to accomplish the events."

Dem Talking Point No. 4: BUSH IS A FASCIST
A favorite of radical Democrats, bin Laden compares the Bush administration to the authoritarian regimes in the Mideast:

"What happened was that he was impressed by the monarchies and the military regimes, and he was jealous of them staying in power for tens of years, embezzling the public money without any accountability. And he moved the tyranny and suppression of freedom to his own country, and they called it the Patriot Act, under the disguise of fighting terrorism. And Bush, the father, found it good to install his children as governors and leaders."

Dem Talking Point No. 5: THE BUSH FAMILY IS TOO CLOSE TO SAUDI ROYALS
Bin Laden complains that their relationship spans two generations:

"The resemblance started when [former President George H.W.] Bush, the father, visited the area, when some of our own were impressed by America and were hoping that the visits would affect and influence our countries."

Dem Talking Point No. 6: AMERICAN FOREIGN POLICY IS TO BLAME
Here bin Laden adopts the position of the Cynthia McKinney wing of the Democratic Party, which blames the alliance between the U.S. and Israel for provoking the 9/11 attacks:

"After the injustice was so much and we saw transgressions and the coalition between Americans and the Israelis against our people in Palestine and Lebanon, it occurred to my mind that we deal with the towers. And these special events that directly and personally affected me go back to 1982 and what happened when America gave permission for Israel to invade Lebanon. And assistance was given by the American Sixth Fleet."

Top Ten Reasons To Vote Against Kerry In 2 Days

We have picked the Top Ten Internet Articles about John Kerry, in the last year, and we have a Letterman style countdown to the election, Nov 2th, 2 days from now.

10. Kerry Campaigns With His Butler (04/27/04)

9. Kerry Flies in Hairdresser for $1000 Haircut (04/28/04)

8. Kerry Flops While Parachuting In For A Day (06/24/04)

7. Dictators, Tyrants and Weasels for Kerry (03/22/04)

6. Kerry Honored At Communist Museum (10/27/04)

5. Kerry Faces Questions About Senate Hit Plot (03/24/04)

4. Kerry's Secret Cambodia Mission (08/10/04)

3. JohnKerryIsADouchebagButI'mVotingForHimAnyway.com (04/28/04)

2. Kerry's Flip Flops (09/28/04)

WHO IS JOHN KERRY? A Flip-Flopping Massachusetts Liberal Out Of Touch With America.

See Photo's
Kerry's Flip Flops

Kerry's Waffle House

Kerry has Flip Flop so many times, we could not pick just one.

Kerry Sets a Record: 14 Flip-Flops in One Speech

Sen. John Kerry set some kind of record today in a speech to his fellow leftists at New York University. The Republican National Committee counted 14 flip-flops on Iraq.

Among the more egregious of the tragicomic whoppers noted:

Kerry now claims the "most important task" is to win the "war on terrorism." Yet Kerry, speaking to his pets at the New York Times in March, refused to call the war on terror a war.

Kerry now claims Iraq was a "diversion from" the war on terror. On Dec. 15 he said: "Iraq may not be the war on terror itself, but it is critical to the outcome of the war on terror." More>>

John 'Flapjack' Kerry

Kerry Flip-flops on Missing WMDs

Kerry Flip-Flops Again on 'Tossed' Medals

Kerry Flip-Flops Yet Again on Abortion

More Flip Flop: Kerrys Says Arafat No Longer Statesman

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Kerry's Flip Flops

Kerry's Waffle House

Story: Kerry's Flip Flops

Thieves undone by parrot

Ananova: Three thieves were undone when they returned to the scene of their alleged crime - to silence a parrot.

The trio allegedly stole DVD players, computers, radios, televisions and other electronic items from a house in Memphis, Tennessee.

However, one of the three realized that a parrot in the house had heard him using the nickname "JJ" for one of his accomplices - and had started repeating it.

"They were afraid the bird would stool on them," said police Major Billy Garrett said. "They actually believed he could identify them."

They went back for the bird and were loading it into their car when police arrived, authorities said.

Police gave chase and caught the men moments later when their car crashed. The men have been charged with aggravated burglary and evading arrest.

However, the story has not ended happily for Marshmallow, the six-year-old parrot at the centre of the drama.

His cage broke open in the crash and he flew away. He has not been seen since.

Bin Laden Tape Will Help Us Rally Around The Flag

WASHINGTON (Reuters) - Osama bin Laden... tossed a bombshell into the deadheat U.S. presidential campaign on Friday in a video address to the American people which some political analysts said could actually help Bush.

"My visceral reaction is that it could hurt Kerry. I don't think the American people will take kindly to Osama bin Laden stepping into our election," said St. Louis University political scientist Joel Goldstein.

"It's an unfortunate 11th hour diversion but it reminds people of the terrorist threat and that's Bush's strong point," Goldstein said.

"Kerry is going to say, 'Why is this guy still out there threatening us? Why is he still sending videos? Why hasn't he been stopped?' But foreign threats usually work in favor of the Commander-in-Chief," said University of Iowa political scientist Michael Lewis-Beck.

RALLY AROUND THE FLAG (See Photo)

"People get scared and rally around the flag. I don't think the effect will be huge but even a small change could be important," he said.

Top Ten Reasons To Vote Against Kerry In 3 Days

We have picked the Top Ten Internet Articles about John Kerry, in the last year, and we have a Letterman style countdown to the election, Nov 2th, 3 days from now.

10. Kerry Campaigns With His Butler (04/27/04)

9. Kerry Flies in Hairdresser for $1000 Haircut (04/28/04)

8. Kerry Flops While Parachuting In For A Day (06/24/04)

7. Dictators, Tyrants and Weasels for Kerry (03/22/04)

6. Kerry Honored At Communist Museum (10/27/04)

5. Kerry Faces Questions About Senate Hit Plot (03/24/04)

4. Kerry's Secret Cambodia Mission (08/10/04)

3. JohnKerryIsADouchebagButI'mVotingForHimAnyway.com (04/28/04)

The DNC (Democrats) has a new Web Site!(Click Here)

www.JohnKerryIsADouchebagButI'mVotingForHimAnyway.com

New Site Created By Alan Blevins: Why it's Crucial That You, I, Everyone Else Cast A Vote For Kerry This Fall - Don't Matter What.

It seemed that every time I saw, heard, or read something about Kerry, his doucheness factor increased.

From our article - Wed, April 28, 2004
'Uh-oh, We've Nominated a Turkey'

Slate: Synecdoche got the best of me: The issue of course in all the cases above (and the I-never-said-I-was-Irish business and the It's-not-my-SUV business, etc.) is less Kerry's relation to the Navy or his medals than his relation to the truth. ..."

Rush
Democrats Unhappy with John Kerry

Rush: I've been telling you that in the deep, dark secretive bowels of the Democratic Party -- which is where they exist these days, in the bowels -- they are asking themselves, "What have we done? What can we do? How do we get through this? What's actually going to happen?

"Let me just give you a sample of some of the news headlines..." More>>

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Rally Around The Flag

Getting Smarter, Too!

GOOD NEWS FROM IRAQ

(Sent to us by Alice and Harold Wood)

This is a letter from Ray Reynolds, a medic in the Iowa Army National Guard, serving in Iraq:

As I head off to Baghdad for the final weeks of my stay in Iraq,
I wanted to say thanks to all of you who did not believe the media.
They have done a very poor job of covering everything that has
happened. I am sorry that I have not been able to visit all of you during
my two week leave back home.

And just so you can rest at night knowing something is happening
in Iraq that is noteworthy, I thought I would pass this on to you.
This is the list of things that has happened in Iraq recently:
(Please share it with your friends and compare it to the version
that your paper is producing.)"

* Over 400,000 kids have up-to-date immunizations.

* School attendance is up 80% from levels before the war.

* Over 1,500 schools have been renovated and rid of the weapons
stored there so education can occur.

* The port of Uhm Qasar was renovated so grain can be off-loaded
from ships faster.

* The country had its first 2 billion barrel export of oil in
August.

* Over 4.5 million people have clean drinking water for the first
time ever in Iraq.

* The country now receives 2 times the electrical power it did
before the war.

* 100% of the hospitals are open and fully staffed, compared to
35% before the war.

* Elections are taking place in every major city, and city
councils are in place.

* Sewer and water lines are installed in every major city.

* Over 60,000 police are patrolling the streets.

* Over 100,000 Iraqi civil defense police are securing the
country.

* Over 80,000 Iraqi soldiers are patrolling the streets side by
side with US soldiers.

* Over 400,000 people have telephones for the first time ever.
* Students are taught field sanitation and hand washing techniques
to prevent the spread of germs.

* An interim constitution has been signed.

* Girls are allowed to attend school.

* Textbooks that don't mention Saddam are in the schools for the
first time in 30 years.

" Don't believe for one second that these people do not want us
there.

I have met many, many people from Iraq that want us there, and in
a bad way. They say they will never see the freedoms we talk
about but they hope their children will.

We are doing a good job in Iraq and I challenge anyone, anywhere to
dispute me on these facts. If you are like me and very disgusted with
how this period of rebuilding has been portrayed, email this to a friend
and let them know there are good things happening."

Ray Reynolds, SFC Iowa Army National Guard
234th Signal Battalion

Thanks to Alice and Harold Wood of Ga

Top Ten Reasons To Vote Against Kerry In 4 Days

We have picked the Top Ten Internet Articles about John Kerry, in the last year, and we have a Letterman style countdown to the election, Nov 2th, 4 days from now.

10. Kerry Campaigns With His Butler (04/27/04)

9. Kerry Flies in Hairdresser for $1000 Haircut (04/28/04)

8. Kerry Flops While Parachuting In For A Day (06/24/04)

7. Dictators, Tyrants and Weasels for Kerry (03/22/04)

6. Kerry Honored At Communist Museum (10/27/04)

5. Kerry Faces Questions About Senate Hit Plot (03/24/04)

4. Kerry's Secret Cambodia Mission (08/10/04)

Since the early 1970s, Kerry has spoken and written of how he was illegally ordered to enter Cambodia. Kerry mentioned it in the floor of the Senate in 1986. Here’s what he said:

I remember Christmas of 1968 sitting on a gunboat in Cambodia. I remember what it was like to be shot at by the Vietnamese and Khmer Rouge and Cambodians, and have the president of the United States telling the American people that I was not there; the troops were not in Cambodia. I have that memory which is seared--seared--in me.

“Despite the dramatic memories of his Christmas in Cambodia, Kerry’s statements are complete lies,” according to John O’Neil, co-author and the Swift Boat commander who took over Kerry’s boat. “Kerry was never in Cambodia during Christmas 1968, or at all during the Vietnam War... he was more than fifty miles away from Cambodia.”

Laura Blumenfeld -- John Kerry, Hunter, Dreamer, Realist

Complexity Infuses Senator's Ambition

"John Kerry eats dove, even better, he shoots them, from behind the stalks of a southern cornfield he'll watch them flutter and dart, then he'll fire. 'You clean 'em, you let 'em hang, takes three or four birds to have a meal,' Kerry said, "You might eat it at a picnic, cold, roasted, I love to eat dove.'""And who is he, really?"

"A close associate hints: There's a secret compartment in Kerry's briefcase. He carries the black attaché everywhere. Asked about it on several occasions, Kerry brushed it aside. Finally, trapped in an interview, he exhaled and clicked open his case. 'Who told you?" he demanded as he reached inside. 'My friends don't know about this.'

"The hat was a little mildewy. The green camouflage was fading, the seams fraying. 'My good luck hat,' Kerry said, happy to see it. 'Given to me by a CIA guy as we went in for a special mission in Cambodia.' More>>

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Clinton Polls

Country Wisdom

(Sent to us by Martha Branson)

Never name a pig you plan to eat.

Country fences oughta' be horse high, pig tight, and bull strong.

Life ain't about how fast you run, or how high you climb. It's about how
good you bounce.

Keep skunks and gossipers at a distance.

Life is simpler when you plow around the stumps.

A bumble bee is faster than a John Deere tractor.

Trouble with a milk cow is...she won't stay milked.

Don't skinny dip with snapping turtles.

Words that soak into your ears are whispered...not yelled.

Meanness don't happen overnight.

To know how country folks are doing, look at their barns, not their
houses.

Never lay an angry hand on a kid or an animal. It just ain't helpful.

Teachers, Moms, and hoot owls sleep with one eye open.

Forgive your enemies. It messes with their heads.

Don't sell your mule to buy a plow.

Two can live as cheap as one...if one don't eat.

Don't corner something meaner than you.

You can catch more flies with honey than vinegar...if you're in to
catchin' flies.

It don't take a very big person to carry a grudge.

Don't go drinkin' with a fellow named Chug-A-Lug.

You can't unsay a cruel remark.

Every path has some puddles.

Don't wrestle with pigs. You'll get all muddy, and the pigs'll love it.

The best sermons are lived, not preached.

Most of the stuff people worry about never happens.

The early bird gets the worm. But...the second mouse gets the cheese.

Thanks to Martha Branson of Ga

Carville, Who is The Clown and Goofball?

Carville does not know the difference between Millions and Billions.

CNN CROSSFIRE - Aired October 26, 2004 - 16:30 ET

CARVILLE: All right, and we're all blank here. So remember the debates when Senator Kerry said the war in Iraq would cost $200 million and Republicans said it was inaccurate, that he shouldn't say that because the war wouldn't cost $200 million. As much as it pains me to say this, and as surprised as you may be, the Republicans were right.

Senator Kerry, you were wrong. The war isn't $200 million, as you claimed. Today, we find out that they're asking for another $70 million, which would bring it to $225 million and add to the hundreds of millions they already spent.

So, the next time someone says at the war cost $200 million, tell them, oh, no, this fiasco is going to cost a lot more than that. And, Senator Kerry, you shouldn't say it cost $200 million, when you knew full well it was going to cost a lot more with these clowns running it.

CARVILLE: Charlie, of course, there is no economic argument to make, because this president hasn't created a single job.

Let's go to the war in Iraq, where they're just asking for another $70 million for this fiasco. And I said that Paul Wolfowitz was the biggest idiot to serve in the U.S. government in my lifetime.

Now, I don't understand. Why are we asking for another $70 billion to add to the money we already have to bring it to $225 billion when this idiot was telling us that we could get it out of oil revenues? Why doesn't the president fire this goofball?

So, James Carville, who is the clown? Who is the idiot? Who is the goofball?

Related Topic: Begala's False Attack On Bush's Alabama Guard Duty

Russia Tied To Iraq's High-Explosive Materials

Russian special forces troops moved many of Saddam Hussein's weapons and related goods out of Iraq and into Syria in the weeks before the March 2003 U.S. military operation, The Washington Times has learned.

John A. Shaw, the deputy undersecretary of defense for international technology security, said in an interview that he believes the Russian troops, working with Iraqi intelligence, “almost certainly” removed the high-explosive material that went missing from the Al-Qaqaa facility, south of Baghdad.

The Washington Times
Russia tied to Iraq's missing arms

"The Russians brought in, just before the war got started, a whole series of military units," Mr. Shaw said. "Their main job was to shred all evidence of any of the contractual arrangements they had with the Iraqis. The others were transportation units."

Mr. Shaw, who was in charge of cataloging the tons of conventional arms provided to Iraq by foreign suppliers, said he recently obtained reliable information on the arms-dispersal program from two European intelligence services that have detailed knowledge of the Russian-Iraqi weapons collaboration.

Mr. Shaw: Most of Saddam's most powerful arms were systematically separated from other arms like mortars, bombs and rockets, and sent to Syria and Lebanon, and possibly to Iran.

The Russian involvement in helping disperse Saddam's weapons, including some 380 tons of RDX and HMX, is still being investigated.

The RDX and HMX, which are used to manufacture high-explosive and nuclear weapons, are probably of Russian origin.

That was such a pivotal location, Number 1, that the mere fact of [special explosives] disappearing was impossible, and Number 2, if the stuff disappeared, it had to have gone before we got there.

Top Ten Reasons To Vote Against Kerry In 5 Days

We have picked the Top Ten Internet Articles about John Kerry, in the last year, and we have a Letterman style countdown to the election, Nov 2th, 5 days from now.

10. Kerry Campaigns With His Butler (04/27/04)

9. Kerry Flies in Hairdresser for $1000 Haircut (04/28/04)

8. Kerry Flops While Parachuting In For A Day (06/24/04)

7. Dictators, Tyrants and Weasels for Kerry (03/22/04)

6. Kerry Honored At Communist Museum (10/27/04)

5. Kerry Faces Questions About Senate Hit Plot (03/24/04)

Kerry Still Backpedaling on Presence at 1971 Anti-War Meetings

"What did Sen. John Kerry know and when did he know it about a plot to assassinate (7) Pro-Vietnam War U.S. senators hatched at a November 1971 Kansas City meeting of the group Vietnam Veterans Against America?"

"If it turns out that Kerry knew about the treasonous plan, Brinkley says he had an obligation to go to the authorities."

"Two Vietnam veterans who attended the session told the New York Sun on Friday that they remember Kerry being there"."

Kerry Lying About Anti-War Past

"Nicosia backed up his comments regarding Kerry's presence at the November 1971 meeting by providing CNSNews.com with the FBI's redacted files about that meeting."

Questions about these events will continue to nag Kerry.We will continue to add more each day! The chickens are coming home to roost.

"Bo" Dietl, a close friend of Kerry, said it made no difference whether or not the plot was carried out, "By just talking about it, it's the crime of conspiracy." More>>

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Kerry - Confusing?

Lawyers In Florida

Man Married Wrong Twin

Ananova: A Romanian man is demanding a divorce after finding out he married the twin sister of the woman he fell in love with.

Vladut R, from Constanta, lived for three years with his wife Monica but says he couldn't go on with the "ordeal" because he loved her sister.

The man met the "love of his life" - Elena - a few years ago during a trip to France, reports the Cuget Liber newspaper.

They were to meet up again back in Romania but the woman decided not to stay in touch after she suffered an accident and needed time to recover.

Meanwhile, Vladut met his lover's twin sister, Monica, at the seaside and thought it was the girl of his dreams.

She accepted his marriage proposal, not telling him the truth about her sister.

Now the couple, who are both dentists, have agreed about to divorce so the man can be back together with the right sister.

CBS, NY Times Was Planning "October Surprise"

WASHINGTON (Talon News) -- Despite being highly criticized last month for running a story using forged memos regarding President George W. Bush's service in the Texas Air National Guard, CBS's "60 Minutes," along with the New York Times, is again at the center of an election year scandal regarding missing explosives in Iraq.

According to CBS News executive producer Jeff Fager, an announcement by the interim Iraqi government to the International Atomic Energy Agency that a cache of 380 tons of explosives in a storage depot at Al Qaqaa have been missing... was going to be revealed on this Sunday's episode of "60 Minutes."

"[Ou]r plan was to run the story on October 31, but it became clear that it wouldn't hold," Fager said in a statement.

The New York Times beat CBS to the punch by releasing their story on Monday. Under the headline "Huge Cache of Explosives Vanished From Site in Iraq."

Many political observers believe CBS was planning to unveil this as an "October surprise" in an effort to defeat President Bush in the November 2 election by airing the segment on Sunday, October 31.

Rush
Surprise Attack on Democracy by New York Times, CBS

Yesterday the Democratic Party, with the help of the New York Times, and with CBS' 60 Minutes in close hot pursuit, launched an October Surprise, or an attempted October Surprise, a sneak attack on our democracy designed to turn the election, to throw a sitting president out of office, to remove a commander-in-chief in time of war with a totally misleading front-page story.

John Kerry in the process showed what he is made of, ladies and gentlemen, and continues to do so today. He shows what kind of leader he would or wouldn't be.

He bought the misleading story without checking; he ran with the misleading story and continues to do so even as we speak. He amplified the misleading story with images of deaths and destruction. He dramatized the misleading story as only a pompous orator can.

He eagerly seized on the opportunity to criticize the United States... He eagerly seized on the opportunity to criticize a sitting president in time of war. He eagerly seized on the opportunity to criticize our troops.

He tried to turn a false, old, misleading story into proof that President Bush is unfit to lead -- and guess what? In the process he proved that he, John Kerry, is unfit to lead.

Top Ten Reasons To Vote Against Kerry In 6 Days

We have picked the Top Ten Internet Articles about John Kerry, in the last year, and we have a Letterman style countdown to the election, Nov 2th, 6 days from now.

10. Kerry Campaigns With His Butler (04/27/04)

9. Kerry Flies in Hairdresser for $1000 Haircut (04/28/04)

8. Kerry Flops While Parachuting In For A Day (06/24/04)

7. Dictators, Tyrants and Weasels for Kerry (03/22/04)

6. Kerry Honored At Communist Museum (10/27/04)

John Kerry's photograph hangs in section devoted to war protesters.

WND: A Ho Chi Minh City museum that honors Vietnam war protesters features a photograph of Sen. John Kerry being greeted by the general secretary of the Communist Party, Comrade Do Muoi.

A snapshot of the display in the Vietnamese Communist War Remnants Museum – formerly known as the "War Crimes Museum" – was acquired over the weekend by Jeffrey M. Epstein of Vietnam Vets for the Truth.

"The Vietnamese communists clearly recognize John Kerry's contributions to their victory," he said. "This find can be compared to the discovery of a painting of Neville Chamberlain hanging in a place of honor in Hitler's Eagle's Nest in 1945."

Below the display photograph are explanatory placards in English, French, Vietnamese and Chinese.

The English placard reads: "Mr. Do Muoi, Secretary General of the Vietnamese Communist Party met with Congressman and Veterans Delegation in Vietnam (July 15-18, 1993)."

"The Vietnamese communists clearly feel that the American anti-war protesters were a very important force in undermining support in the United States for American war efforts, a force that contributed materially to ultimate communist victory in 1975," the group said in a statement. More>>

Update: Discovered papers: Hanoi directed Kerry

The first documentary evidence that Vietnamese communists were directly steering John Kerry's antiwar group Vietnam Veterans Against the War has been discovered in a U.S. archive, according to a researcher who spoke with WorldNetDaily. More>>

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John Boy

Rebel Without A Message

Sent to us by Martha Branson Of Georgia - Thanks!

Couple name baby Speedy Gonzales

Amanova: A Romanian couple whose baby was born in their car as they rushed to hospital are to name the boy Speedy Gonzales.

The couple were heading to hospital at Suceava but were held up when their car broke down.

The father told National newspaper: "We were on this crowded motorway with cars speeding next to us. My wife was in the back seat of our car already in labour.

"So we decided to do anything to get to the hospital as fast as we could. I managed to fix my car and was doing 90km/ph when my boy arrived. I will call him Speedy Gonzales."

The little boy and his 33-year-old mother are both said to be in good condition in hospital.

Kerry Caught In Two More Lies

At the second presidential debate, Mr. Kerry said he was more attuned to international concerns on Iraq than President Bush, citing his meeting with the entire Security Council.

Washington Times
Security Council members deny meeting Kerry

KERRY: This president hasn't listened. I went to meet with members of the Security Council in the week before we voted. I went to New York. I talked to all of them to find out how serious they were about really holding Saddam Hussein accountable.

But of the five ambassadors on the Security Council in 2002 who were reached directly for comment, four said they had never met Mr. Kerry. The four also said that no one who worked for their countries' U.N. missions had met with Mr. Kerry either.

Rush: Kerry did not meet with the Security Council. They're out there denying that he did, and this, folks, is something you have to just put this in your pipe and smoke it. He's lying about a number of things throughout this campaign. He's flip-flopping all over the place.

If you don't like the word 'lying,' he's misstating. He's forgetting. He's misleading. I don't care what you want to say, but to me this is an out-and-out lie when he said he met with the members of the Security Council and didn't.

He also is famous for saying that he sat 30 yards away at the 1986 World Series in Shea Stadium when Bill Buckner blew a ground ball; let it roll between his legs. Kerry has spoken often of the agony that he personally witnessed.

Weekly Standard
Did John Kerry attend Game Six of the 1986 World Series?

The problem is he wasn't there. He was in Boston. He was at the World Trade Center in Boston for a meeting and fund-raiser with other Massachusetts Democrats. He was not in Shea Stadium in 1986 during Game 6 of the World Series between the Red Sox and the Mets!

Rush: He did not meet with members of the UN Security Council. He cannot get France and Germany into our alliance; they've already said they're not going to come. The man is not operating with "integrity, integrity, integrity." You can't count on what the man says.

Top Ten Reasons To Vote Against Kerry In 7 Days

We have picked the Top Ten Internet Articles about John Kerry, in the last year, and we have a Letterman style countdown to the election, Nov 2th, 7 days from now.

10. Kerry Campaigns With His Butler (04/27/04)

9. Kerry Flies in Hairdresser for $1000 Haircut (04/28/04)

8. Kerry Flops While Parachuting In For A Day (06/24/04)

7. Dictators, Tyrants and Weasels for Kerry (03/22/04)

A Recap Of Dictators, Tyrants and Weasels for Kerry (See Photo)

Kerry: "I've met with foreign leaders who can't go out and say this publicly, You've got to beat this guy."

North Korea's communist dictator Kim Jung: “told members of his government that he would like to see President George W. Bush defeated and Kerry elected president in November”

Cowardly French “Wild For Kerry”: “Whatever the reason, the French love John Kerry. French people are asking if they can contribute to his campaign.”

Al Jazeera Praises Kerry: “Al Jazeera, considered to be the voice of al-Qaida, is praising… John Kerry as “a popular Mainstream Democrat with Liberal Tendencies”

Americans Think Terrorists Want Kerry: Poll: “The Andreas McKenna Research group asked 800 registered voters last week which candidate they thought global terrorists would back in this year's election-and 60 percent said John Kerry.”

Rush could add more people ”like Fidel Castro, Hugo Chavez, Yasser Arafat, Father Aristide, "Baby Doc" Duvalier, Slobodan Milosevic, and the number one guy, Saddam Hussein.”

John Kerry-Are you having fun yet, being the Democratic Nominee? More>>

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The UN and Kerry

Story: Dictators, Tyrants and Weasels for Kerry

Leno

Teresa Heinz Kerry said that Laura Bush has never had a real job. Teresa is a translator. She’s been a translator for two years. Hey, let me tell you, Laura Bush has been a translator for the last 35 years!

Both campaigns are looking for a way to win in Florida. You know the way to win in Florida? Play the Miami Dolphins!

It’s the Cardinals and the Red Sox. They met in the World Series back in 1967. To tell you how times have changed, back then we had a bad economy, an unpopular war and a president from Texas.

Look at the state of Massachusetts. They have the Patriots, the Red Sox and John Kerry – well, two out of three ain’t bad.

Bill Clinton got a flu shot. Which I think is good. Think about it. If he got the flu, he could infect hundreds of women.

Communism has a new slogan in Cuba: "I’ve fallen and can’t get up!"

Today a reporter asked President Bush if it was fatal and he said, "No, its pronounced Fidel."

Godzilla is 55 years old! He now suffers from reptile dysfunction.

Letterman

I probably look a little ugly, not myself. I was just backstage and got a creepy phone call from Bill O’Reilly.

This is going to be a busy weekend. Mom and I are doing some last-minute shopping for Ramadan.

Before I go any farther I need to say it’s 11:35, lights out, Martha!

The voting in Florida has already begun. You know what this means? An extra two weeks to rig the results!

They started counting some of the ballots down there in Florida. And here’s what they’ve found so far – Bush has a slight lead over Kerry.

Conan

Today in Cuba while giving a speech Fidel Castro fell on the floor. The floor was immediately arrested, interrogated and shot.

Dems Register al-Qaida Terrorists in Ohio Vote Drive

Democratic Party activist groups in Ohio have registered at least two known terrorists involved in a plot to blow up a shopping center in a bid to get out the vote for John Kerry.

Nuradin Abdi - a Somali immigrant and admitted al-Qaida member who was indicted earlier this year as part of a conspiracy to blow up the Columbus Mall - was registered to vote by the civil rights group ACORN, according to the Columbus Dispatch.

ACORN has spearheaded an aggressive Democratic Party vote drive in the battleground states.

Iyman Faris, another new Ohio voter added to the rolls by Democrats, is currently serving a 20-year jail sentence for his role in surveilling potential al-Qaida targets - including the Brooklyn Bridge, the Dispatch said.

According to the Ohio News Now TV network, Abdi's name was added to the rolls by ACORN employee Kevin Eugene Dooley, as part of the group's Project Vote operation.

Dooley was indicted earlier this year on two felony election offenses - false election registration and submitting false election signatures to the Ohio Board of Elections.

Only after Abdi's case was exposed did Ohio officials strike his name from the voting rolls, due to his status as an illegal alien.

Faris became a naturalized citizen in 1999 but is not eligible to vote because he's an incarcerated felon.

Top Ten Reasons To Vote Against Kerry In 8 Days

We have picked the Top Ten Internet Articles about John Kerry, in the last year, and we have a Letterman style countdown to the election, Nov 2th, 8 days from now.

10. Kerry Campaigns With His Butler (04/27/04)

9. Kerry Flies in Hairdresser for $1000 Haircut (03/28/04)

8. Kerry Flops While Parachuting In For A Day (06/24/04)

Poor John Kerry. After months of refusing to do the job for which he is still on the American taxpayers' dole, he deigned to make a rare appearance yesterday in the U.S. Senate. But it was all for naught.

Kerry spent seven whole hours in Washington waiting to vote on a proposal to increase spending on veterans' health care, then finally took off to beg for money from his fellow travelers in San Francisco.

"Senator Kerry, who hadn't been here all year, who's missed 80 percent of all votes this year, parachutes in for a day and then will be taking off once again," scoffed Senate Majority Leader Bill Frist.

The (Boston) Globe disclosed that Kerry's absenteeism rate this year is not the previously reported 87 percent. It's 89 percent. Yet Kerry insisted again Tuesday that he would not resign from the job that he has repeatedly refused to do. More>>

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Election Day, 8 Days Away

Cartoon Kerry

Bart Simpson Would Be Proud of Them

MILAN (Reuters) - Four Italian teenagers have confessed to flooding one of Milan's best known schools, causing an estimated 500,000 euros ($630,900) in damage, because they did not want to sit a Greek exam.

The three girls and one boy, aged between 16 and 17, delivered a letter to the school's headmaster on Thursday, explaining how last weekend they blocked drains in a bathroom before they turned on washbasin taps and left them running.

The headmaster, Carlo Arrigo Pedretti, said the pupils wrote in the letter that they flooded the school to avoid having to sit their ancient Greek test on Monday morning.

"I am stunned, I cannot believe it," Pedretti said. "These kids have no idea of the consequence of their actions."

The Parini school, located in the heart of Milan and which was recently refurbished, is the oldest state school in Italy.

The pupils have been suspended from school until next Monday. They were questioned by police on Thursday and could be put under investigation for aggravated vandalism, breaking and entering and causing a disruption to public services.

Top Ten Reasons To Vote Against Kerry In 9 Days

We have picked the Top Ten Internet Articles about John Kerry, in the last year, and will have a Letterman style countdown to the election, Nov 2th, 9 days from now.

10. Kerry Campaigns With His Butler (04/27/04)

9. Kerry Flies in Hairdresser for $1000 Haircut (04/28/04)

On the Friday before his Meet The Press appearance, Dem presidential hopeful John Kerry flew his Washington, DC hairdresser to Pittsburgh for a touch-up.

Cristophe stylist Isabelle Goetz, who handles Kerry's hair issues, made the trek to Pittsburgh, campaign sources reveal.

One source suggests the hairdresser was flown to Pittsburgh on Teresa Heinz Kerry's 'Flying Squirrel', a Gulfstream V private jet.

[The 'Flying Squirrel' is worth about $35 million. A deluxe model; plasma TV, two bathrooms, fancy mahogany and burlwood paneling, gold-plated fixtures.]

Goetz grew up in a small town in eastern France. She also does Hillary Clinton's hair.

Rush: I don't believe any of this $1,000 price tag, either. You're talking at least 25 to 30 grand an hour minimum direct operating costs to keep a GV in the air.

The cost of the haircut is on top of that, because you know this woman got paid. More>>

Related Hot Topics: These Phony, Elitist Snobs

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I Served in Vietnam (Four Months)

Kerry: I Served in Vietnam (Four Months)

(Sent to Us By Ed and Norma Bzdyk and Lorrayne Klahr)

JOB APPLICATION

NAME: John Forbes Kerry

RESIDENCE: 7 mansions, including one in Washington DC, worth multi-millions. I served in Vietnam (four months).

EXPERIENCE: Law Enforcement. In my career as a U.S. Senator, I've voted to cut every law enforcement, CIA, and Defense bill. I ordered the city of Boston to remove a fire hydrant in front of my mansion, thereby endangering my neighbors in the event of fire. I served in Vietnam (four months).

MILITARY: I served in Vietnam (four months). I used three minor injuries to get an early discharge from the military and service in Vietnam (as
documented by the attending doctor). I served in Vietnam (four months). I
then returned to the U.S., joined Jane Fonda in protesting the war, and insulted returning Vietnam vets, claiming they committed atrocities and were baby killers. I served in Vietnam (four months). I threw my medals, ribbons, or something away in protest. Or did I? My book "Vietnam Veterans Against the War: The New Soldier", shows how I truly feel about the military. I served in Vietnam (four months).

COLLEGE: I graduated from Yale University with a low C average. Unlike my counterpart George Bush, I have a law degree but did not get admitted to
Harvard nor graduate with an M.B.A. I served in Vietnam (four months).

PAST WORK EXPERIENCE: After College and Vietnam, I ran for the U.S. Congress and have been there ever since. I have no real world experience except marrying very rich women and running their companies vicariously through them. I served in Vietnam (four months).

ACCOMPLISHMENTS: As a U.S. Senator I set the record for the most liberal voting record, exceeding even Ted Kennedy and Hillary Clinton. I have
consistently failed to support our military and CIA by voting against their budgets, thus gutting our country's ability to defend itself. Although I voted for the Iraq War, now I am against it and refuse to admit that I voted for it. I voted for every liberal piece of legislation. I have no plan to help this country but I intend to raise taxes significantly if I am elected. I served in Vietnam (four months).

My wealth so far exceeds that of my counterpart, George Bush, that he will never catch up. I make little or no charitable contributions and have never agreed to pay any voluntary excess taxes in Massachusetts, despite family wealth in excess of $ 700 million. I served in Vietnam (four months).

I (we) own 28 manufacturing plants (Heinz) outside of the U.S. in places like Asia, Mexico and Europe. We can make more profit from the cheaper cost of labor in those Countries, although I blame George Bush for sending all of the other jobs out of Country. I served in Vietnam (four months).

Although I claim to be in favor of alternative energy sources, Ted Kennedy and I oppose windmills off Nantucket and Martha's Vineyard as it might spoil our view of the ocean as we cruise on our yachts. I served in Vietnam (four months).

RECORDS AND REFERENCES: None. However, I served in Vietnam (four months).

PERSONAL: I practice my Catholic faith whenever cameras are present. I ride a Serotta Bike. I love to ski/snowboard. I call my Gulf stream V Jet the "Flying Squirrel". I call my $850,000 42-foot Hinckley twin diesel yacht the "Scaramouche". I served in Vietnam (four months).

I am fascinated by rap and hip-hop and feel it reflects our real culture. I served in Vietnam (four months).

I own several "Large" SUVs including one parked at my Nantucket summer mansion, though I am against large, polluting, inefficient vehicles and blame George Bush for our energy problems. I served in Vietnam (four months).

PLEASE CONSIDER MY EXPERIENCE WHEN VOTING IN 2004. I served in Vietnam (four months).

Thanks to Ed and Norma Bzdyk Of Milledgeville Ga and Lorrayne Klahr of Pa.

Top Ten Reasons To Vote Against Kerry In 10 Days

We have picked the Top Ten Internet Articles about John Kerry, in the last year, and will have a Letterman style countdown to the election, Nov 2th, 10 days from now.

10. Kerry Campaigns With His Butler (04/27/04)

Beacon Hill blue blood John Kerry likes to portray himself as the presidential candidate of the common man. But there's one common man he finds indispensable on the campaign trail: his butler.

Like a scene out of the old British drama "Upstairs Downstairs," Kerry would be helpless without his trusty manservant, Marvin Nicholson, by his side, ready to cater to his master's every whim.

And for catering to the candidate's every whim, the fabulously wealthy Heinz-Kerrys pay Nicholson a wildly generous $45,000 annually. More >>

Related Hot Topics: These Phony, Elitist Snobs

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Tootsie Heinz Kerry

Heinz Kerry More Of A Man Than John

Heinz Kerry More Of A Man Than John

'The Hug'

Leno

John Kerry went hunting today. He said he killed a goose. He didn’t bring Teresa along because he was a little rusty and he was afraid he might kill the goose that laid the golden egg.

It’s getting ugly and uglier out there - Teresa Heinz Kerry said she doesn’t know if Laura Bush has ever held a real job. Laura Bush fired back - she said she was busy raising three kids - Barbara, Jenna, and George W. that is a full time job.

Both candidates are trying to scare voters for votes in the last weeks of the campaign. And they’re doing a pretty good job. Voters are petrified that on November 2nd they’re actually going to have to pick one of these guys. What’s scarier than that?

The Kerry campaign announced today they will have "10,000 lawyers at the polls in battle ground states.” 10,000 lawyers. Well, let’s hope you don’t slip and fall on the sidewalk outside a polling place. You could be buried alive in business cards.

Neither Bush or Kerry have gotten a flu shot and both said today they won’t get one. Ralph Nader also said he wasn’t getting a flu shot. Though in his case he doesn’t need one, because he doesn’t come in contact with any large crowds.

Ralph Nader latest complaint, he says he's being held back by special interest groups working against him. I think they’re called the American people.

Did you watch "Lost” last night? But enough about the Yankees.

Congratulations to Boston Red Sox! The Red Sox murdered the Yankees. 10 to 3. It was so bad, I couldn’t tell when the game ended and "CSI: New York” began.

This is the most embarrassing thing this to happen in New York since the Mets!

Even Hillary said, "Does this mean I no longer have to pretend to be a Yankees fan?"

The Yankees looked stunned, didn’t they? Usually you only see this many depressed Dominicans after their raft springs a leak.

Steinbrenner is not taking this lying down. Today he signed the entire Red Sox team. They’re Yankees now.

Did you see the Red Sox partying in the locker room? All that champagne. Finally, the Red Sox had something on ice besides Ted Williams.

Health experts have 3 tips to avoid getting the flu; one, wash your hands often, avoid crowds, get elected to congress, and you’ll be guaranteed a flu shot. See, they get all the flu shots they want.

Well, congress also says seniors will get a social security increase in January. Assuming the flu doesn’t kill them first.

According to a poll by ABC’s "Primetime Live”, Republicans have wilder sex lives than Democrats. Apparently this survey was taken while Bill Clinton was still in the hospital. His absence drags the entire average down for Democrats.

Bill Clinton is scheduled to campaign for John Kerry next week. He’s still under doctors orders to take it easy, though - no girlfriends over 180 pounds.

Yesterday was one of the biggest events in world history. The fall of Castro. Take a look (drop-in video clip: Castro slips and falls.) The bad news, he got back up.

Castro said he’s okay, because he’s got the best healthcare in the world right there in Cuba. In fact, he was rushed to the hospital on their fastest donkey.

Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger has endorsed a ballot measure that would spend up to $6 billion in state money on stem cell research. That shows you how clever Arnold is. He’s hoping by the next election, he’ll be able to clone more Republican voters.

And Turner Broadcasting is now casting for a new reality show called "The Real Giligan’s Island” where they’re looking for a real life Mr. and Mrs. Howell, Skipper, and Giligan. You know, don’t we have that on TV already. John and Teresa Kerry are perfect for Mr. and Mrs. Howell. Dick Cheney is the Skipper and Bush can be Giligan! What’s better than that?

Here’s something interesting. According to a new medical study, one out of every hundred people have had a near death experience. Do you know what you call those people? New York Yankees fans!

The ratings for Bill O’Reilly’s show have risen 34% since he was accused of sexually harassing a female producer...34%! This is the best news for Bill O’Reilly since the hands-free telephone. This is unbelievable.

And today, Chris Matthews asked a female executive on his show if she wanted to see his hard ball.

Letterman

In Ohio today John Kerry was duck hunting. This was all part of his pledge to hunt down the ducks and kill them.

He came back with two ducks and four purple hearts.

This is all part of John Kerry’s plan to appeal to hunters. So what he did was got drunk and shot his buddy in the ass.

This just in – George Steinbrenner has just fired Babe Ruth!

It’s getting bad for the Yankees. No team has ever come from behind after four straight loses!

I think the Yankees are in denial. Like today they announced their starter for game eight.

After the Red Sox won the game last night the Red Sox fans were stunned and dazed. They had to get on the Internet to find out how to celebrate.

Things got crazy and insane down in Boston. A group of rowdy fans actually tipped over Ted Kennedy.

Conan

In Ohio today John Kerry went duck hunting. President Bush quickly said it was just a photo opt. The strange thing was that Bush said this while in a flight suit on an aircraft carrier.

In Florida there are already voting problems. The started early voting there. Many senior citizens are complaining about problems at the polls. Apparently they are pulling the lever and no quarters are coming out.

The big Yankees-Red Sox game was last night. The Red Sox won the American League Pennant over the Yankees after trailing in a three games to none deficit. In a related story George Steinbrenner is being treated for rabies.

Election Day is almost here. Yesterday Bill Clinton sent out an email to Democrats about how to handle the last days of the election. The bad thing was that he sent the message with his private email "studcraker89”.

These Phony, Elitist Snobs

On Fox News roundtable, Charles Krauthammer, had this to say about Heinz Kerry.

Krauthammer: What are you going to believe, what she says off the cuff or what she says later in a prepared statement her staff probably wrote? You're going to believe when she originally had said because it betrays what's really inside, and what's really inside is the snobbery of the very, very rich.

Here's a woman who thinks, "Oh, a teacher? How déclassé. A real job is marrying a very rich man and spending the rest of your life giving away the money you never made a penny of yourself.

That's a real job, and that kind of snobbery and sort of, you know, plantation mentality you've seen in her for months and this is only a small eruption of it.

See Photo: Phony Elitist Snob # 1

Rush: And what Krauthammer is additionally saying is that everything that happens in this world is about her, in Teresa Heinz Kerry's mind-set. He's exactly right.

The snobbery of the very, very rich. This was a condescending comment, much as it was an insult. This was an I'm-better-than-she-is comment. "She's nothing but a teacher she. She's nothing but a mother! But look at who I am and look at what I've done."

Well, you're nothing but the latest target of a gigolo, Ms. Kerry. You're just the latest target of a gigolo, is what you are, and you've fallen hook, line and sinker for the latest gigolo to come along. His name is John Kerry.

So here you have another illustration, folks, of just who American liberals are today. They are the exact opposite of what they portrayed.

They are elitists sitting above everyone else, looking down on everybody else in a condescending way, thinking everybody else is stupid and dumb and incompetent and incapable and not able to do anything in life without the help and guidance of these paternalistic liberals.

These are the most exclusively, elitist, you're-not-one-of-us, you-don't-count people, us-against-them crowd I have run into in my career as a premier media figure in America.

Here we have a liberal Democrat running for the presidency claiming -- the most liberal Democrat in the Senate -- claiming to be a man who understands things with the common people and to prove it has to go out two weeks before the election and hunt geese?

It's not hunting geese; it's a photo-op, and why is he doing this? I thought this guy is a big liberal.

See Photo: Phony Elitist Snob # 2

Kerry is going out of his way to say he's not a liberal. A true liberal wouldn't put on camouflage gear and pick up a 12-gauge and go haul around a dead goose by the neck.

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Phony Elitist Snob # 1

Phony Elitist Snob # 2

Leno

In an interview in USA Today, Teresa Heinz Kerry said she didn’t think Laura Bush, who was a public school librarian for nine years, had ever held a "real job." Let me tell you something. If you’re a librarian married to George W. Bush, there is no harder job on Earth.

Teresa Heinz Kerry’s defenders said, oh, she just says those things once in a while because she’s "eccentric." You know what eccentric means? It’s when someone is crazy but they're rich. Like you never see an eccentric homeless guy. The old guy urinating in the street? "Oh, he’s just eccentric." Just a funny, wacky guy.

Sparks were flying again today. Al Gore accused President Bush of using religion to support his presidency. And George Bush fired back that Al Gore’s just mad because "God made me president."

Al Gore also said in a speech yesterday that "President Bush governs from a love of power." You know, as opposed to Gore’s old boss, who governed from the "power of love."

Early voting began in Florida this week and guess what? There are already problems! After waiting two to three hours many Florida voters are shocked to get to the front of the line and find out - "What? No flu shot?"

You know why Florida has started voting this week? ,primitive places like Florida and Afghanistan need longer to count the votes. These primitive cultures ...

This election the candidates are using those recorded phone messages. Anybody gotten one? Last night I got a call from Ralph Nader. It was collect.

Here’s some good news. Federal officials say they found another 2.6 million doses of flu vaccine, which they will be able to distribute in January. That is, if Bush wins. If he doesn’t, they might accidentally "lose it."

That’s good news, huh? We’ll have more vaccine in January. So that means your grandmother will only have to be in line for another two months.

Did you hear about this? The town of Bloomfield, New Jersey, was holding a lottery to determine who would get a flu shot. It’s terrible. And the winner doesn’t even get the flu shot all at once. It’s injected very slowly, once a year for 25 years.

Well, game six was unbelievable. After umpires reversed two calls, riot police were called onto the field at Yankee Stadium after fans began throwing food. Let me tell you how angry they were - any time you get fat-ass Americans willing to part with their hot dogs, snow cones and popcorn, when an American takes something out of his mouth, he is mad!

Mary Kay Letourneau has announced she is engaged to her former sixth-grade student. They plan to get married in a castle. It’s not a real castle, you know, it’s one of those castles full of air you bounce around in.

This just in. ABC has dropped the Miss America Pageant; it will no longer be on TV. Now who’s going to solve world peace?

Now thousands of young women are just going to be wandering the streets waving and clog dancing! I always like "Well, my goal is to bring peace to the entire world ... and get my own apartment."

Did you see that show "The Biggest Loser"? It’s a new reality show where a group of fat people try to lose weight. Did we have that show already? Wasn’t it called "The Facts of Life"? I almost regret buying that big-screen TV now.

NBC is moving the show "LAX" from Monday to Wednesday night. It’s not doing too well. I don’t wanna say they’re panicking, but half of the cast already has applications in for jobs at the real airport!

Letterman

The campaign trail is getting rough. Just today John Kerry really shook things up by introducing his own lesbian daughter to the country.

There’s some good news for you folks visiting New York City. Some of the clubs and restaurants now have "no cell phones allowed" areas. Which is good. I always shut mine off. There’s nothing more I hate than when it starts to ring in the middle of a lap dance.

Election Day is right around the corner. I have some advice for my mom. All she needs to remember when she goes into the voting booth is "Yes on Indian casinos."

The Amazing John Kerry Quote

Kerry Wraps Himself In The U.N. Flag (See Photo)

On CNN April 17th, 1994. Frank Sesno with the question. This is all about going to the Balkans. Is it worth American lives to go to Balkans?

SESNO: Are they worth dying for? That's the question. Are they worth fighting and dying for?

KERRY: It depends what you mean by that, Frank. If you mean dying in the course of the United Nations effort, yes, it is worth that. If you mean dying American troops unilaterally going in with some false presumption that we can affect the outcome, the answer is unequivocally no.

RUSH: Here's John Kerry saying that American deaths under the UN banner are permissible and honorable, American deaths under American flag only are not, April 17th, 1994.

It doesn't sound to me like this position of his, this global test and the UN will have a veto over what we do doesn't sound like his position has changed, sounds like it's hardened, sounds like it's the one policy Kerry is actually firm in believing.

It sounds like that Kerry does not flip-flop when it comes to the UN. He may flip-flop on everything else, but when it comes to the UN, boy, it trumps everything.

Laura Bush's 'Real Job',a Mother

Heinz Kerry drew the ire of the Republicans when USA Today asked her how she would be different from Mrs. Bush if John Kerry won the November 2 election, making her the new first lady.

Heinz Kerry responded, "Well, you know, I don't know Laura Bush. But she seems to be calm, and she has a sparkle in her eye, which is good. But I don't know that she's ever had a real job -- I mean, since she's been grown up. So her experience and her validation comes [sic] from important things, but different things."

Does billionaire heiress Teresa Heinz Kerry really think teachers and librarians don't have "a real job"?

Laura Bush taught in public schools in Texas from 1968 to 1973, then earned a master's degree in library sciences and worked for the following four years as a school librarian. In 1977, she married George W. Bush.

Reminded that Mrs. Bush as a "grown-up" had worked in government schools in Texas from 1968 to 1977, the ketchup queen scrambled to avoid offending those big-spending Democrat educrat unions.

Heiress Teresa Apologizes to Working Woman Laura

"I had forgotten that Mrs. Bush had worked as a schoolteacher and librarian, and there couldn't be a more important job than teaching our children. As someone who has been both a full-time mom and full-time in work force, I know we all have valuable experiences that shape who we are. I appreciate and honor Mrs. Bush's service to the country as first lady and am sincerely sorry I had not remembered her important work in the past."

Karen Hughes, an adviser to President Bush, said Heinz Kerry's apology "made it worse because she left out the very important real job of a mother."

"Clearly she knows Laura Bush was a mother who chose to stay home and rear her family," Hughes said. "That's a noble choice that should be celebrated not denigrated."

"Teaching is a real job. Working as a librarian is a real job. Staying at home and rearing a family is a real job," Hughes added.

She didn't say what her own full-time job was, other than counting her loot.

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Kerry Wraps Himself In The U.N. Flag

Story: The Amazing John Kerry Quote

Leno

John Kerry said today that Bush was planning a "January surprise” if he’s reelected. Hey if we know who’s going to be president by January that will be a surprise, don’t you think?

A man was arrested in Ohio after being paid in crack to register voters. They were paying people in crack to register voters. You know it’s scary enough that the election is going to be decided by the undecided…but to be decided by undecided crack heads. That’s really bad.

You sound like Bill O’Reilly with a free calling card.

Have you heard Florida’s new slogan? "Hey, let’s screw this one up early.”

Over the weekend, thousands in Florida suddenly felt sick to their stomach. Nothing to do with the flu. I guess they were just Miami Dolphins fans.

The Miami Dolphins lost again on Sunday. They’re 0 and 6. Even Ralph Nader is telling the Dolphins, "Give it up, why are you staying in this thing?”

Ralph Nader said he has no intention of leaving the presidential race. It’s not so much he wants to stay in the race it’s just that he has no where else to go.

Well it’s nice to see Marion Berry working again.

His slogan, "no vial left behind”.

Over the weekend, President Bush told a crowd of supporters in Florida that he is the best protection from the draft. That’s not true. Bush’s dad was the protection from the draft.

Former CIA Director George Tenet has now become a professor at Georgetown University. The good news, if you’re a student and you cut Tenet’s class, he won’t find out about it till after you graduate!

How many watched the Yankees-Red Sox game last night? Pretty amazing. The game lasted 5 hours and 48 minutes. The game lasted so long half the Yankees had their visas expired. They had to go back to the Dominican Republic before the game was even over.

We have an interesting guy on the show tonight. Tim Frisby – he’s a 39 year old guy playing college football. He’s the only college player in the country that when the team flies to road games he’s eligible for "pre-boarding.”

According to the "New Scientist” magazine, 1% of the population is asexual. They’ve never had any interest in sex. You know who they are? The one’s who read "new scientist magazine”.

TV news - you know the show "LA-X”? NBC is moving the show "LA-X” from Monday to Wednesday night. The show isn’t doing too well. In fact, to give you an idea how badly it’s doing, I heard the real airport is thinking of changing its name.

You can tell they’re getting desperate. Next week’s episode, the entire hour is female strip searches!

NBC said that, despite the ratings loss, they are still behind the show 100 %. (coughing) Last comic standing!!!

Letterman

Bill Clinton is recovering from his quadruple bypass surgery. He’s on a workout plan. He spends 10 minutes each day having sex at his desk.

Early voting has started down in Florida. So far there have been computer glitches, long lines and chaos. Today President Bush said, "Mission accomplished!”

American Flag 'Outlawed' by Edwards

WEST PALM BEACH, Fla. - Vacuous veep wannabe John Edwards has banned the American flag at campaign appearances, according to a left-wing weekly.

New Times Broward Palm Beach, a monomaniacally Bush-hating yuppie tabloid in Fort Lauderdale, tells the sad story of Banjo the Democrat clown and how Edwards' handlers censored him.

NewsMax: During a recent campaign appearance in West Palm by the sue-happy senator, professional clown Jack "Banjo" Williams of Delray Beach showed up early to nab himself a good spot.

"Before the start of the speech, 70-year-old Williams worked the crowd in a star-spangled outfit that made him look like a patriotic Raggedy Andy with a top hat.

Williams, a retired social worker, pulled an American flag from his clenched fist for a bit of magic. 'This flag right here doesn't belong to the Republicans,' he said. But the trick drew the ire of an Edwards camp volunteer. All signs and flags are outlawed at the event, Banjo was frostily informed," New Times reported.

"Outlawed"? Is that what the ambulance-chasing chowderhead has in mind?

To paraphrase an old saying, when Old Glory is outlawed, only outlaws will have Old Glory.

If freshman Edwards has his way, it appears "this flag" won't "belong" to anybody, Democrat or Republican or independent.

To be fair, we checked the Associated Press's photo archives of President Bush's and Vice President Dick Cheney's rallies to see if they didn't believe in freedom of expression either.

(See Photo: Bush Is On The Bright Side - America)

The pictures, including today's appearances by Bush in The Villages, Fla., and Cheney in Xenia, Ohio, showed an abundance of flags and signs.

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Scary Kerry # 2

Scary Kerry # 3

Making People Happy

(Sent to Us By Ed and Norma Bzdyk)

Bill and Hillary Clinton and John Kerry are flying on Kerry's wife's
private jet. Bill looks at Hillary, chuckles and says, "You know, I could
throw a $100.00 bill out the window right now and make somebody very happy."

Hillary shrugs her shoulders and says, "Well, I could throw ten 10.00
bills out the window and make 10 people very happy."

Kerry says, "Of course then, I could throw one-hundred $1.00 bills out
the window and make a hundred people very happy."

The pilot rolls his eyes, looks at all of them and says to his co-pilot, I
could throw all of them out the window and make this whole country happy!

Thanks to Ed and Norma Bzdyk Of Milledgeville Ga

Democrats Trade Crack for Votes

Defiance County, Ohio (DR): Thaddeus J. Jackson II in Cleveland with the NAACP National Voter Fund is linked to a woman who hired a man named Chad Staton. Talk about a hanging chad! Here's Chad Staton, 22 years old of Defiance was hired to go out there and register a hundred voters, and he was paid in crack cocaine, and the woman who hired him confirmed that she paid him in crack cocaine.

Rush: Now, there are going to be questions asked about this. Or will there? Like, "Is it happening in other places? Is this just an isolated case where crack cocaine is being used to pay stipends for expenses to the people out there registering potentially false, fraudulent, nonexistent, or dead voters?"

So they're paying in crack cocaine in Ohio in order to get people registered or to go out and hire people to register other people out there in Ohio. So it will be interesting to see the reaction to this as we gauge it around the country as the afternoon and the evening wear on.

Thaddeus J. Jackson II said the money 'is a stipend to cover expenses.'" Well, in Defiance County, Ohio, the money was crack cocaine, and there is a trail linking it back to Thaddeus J. Jackson II, who has a business card, as he's with the NAACP.

Yeah, you might ask how far up the food chain it goes. I mean, does it stop at Thaddeus J. Jackson II, or does it go elsewhere. These are legitimate questions that in any other inquiry would be asked.

More on this subject in Related Hot Topics:

Good News for Election Thieves in Colorado

A judge in Colorado today gave left-wing groups one victory and one partial victory on vote fraud.

The judge's ruling: that people who had already requested an absentee ballot may also vote at the polls on Election Day.

What is to prevent these people from voting twice? They must swear they did not turn in the absentee ballot. Good thing that election thieves never lie.

Judge Hoffman also said people who show up at the wrong precinct(s) may vote for president but not for U.S. senator or any other statewide race.

Let's see: It's OK to cast multiple ballots for John Kerry but not Ken Salazar? We expect the would-be senator will be miffed.

More: Provisional Ballots: How to Steal an Election

Pictures Of The Day

More great pictures from You. The new website "Pictures Of The Day", will give us a place to share your pictures with others.

Panic News

Kerry's Tax

Leno

And the rumor is that it’ll be like the last time. Kerry will win the popular vote and Bush will win the electoral votes. And they say Americans could spend weeks not knowing who’s really president, Bush or Kerry. Hey, is that so bad? We spent the last 4 years not really knowing who is president, Bush or Cheney.

Candidates are using a lot of boxing metaphors. President Bush kept quoting boxer Joe Louis "You can run but you can’t hide”. John Kerry quoted Mohammed Ali "Is that all you got?” And today Ralph Nader quoted Mike Tyson "I’m broke.”

Well I saw something really sad today coming to work - on Hollywood Boulevard. Two guys sharing a flu shot needle.

Did you all get your flu shots today? Oh — that’s right — you’re not celebrities. I got four today. Paris Hilton’s dog got one today. Have you gotten one Kev? I haven’t either. They use one needle for all of NBC.

Now they say the campaigns are gonna get even more negative. Is that possible? One side is calling the president "a complete idiot.” The other side is calling a war hero with a chest full of medals from Vietnam a "coward.” How do you get more negative than that?

Scare in Cleveland. John Edward’s plane takeoff was aborted because of an indicator light. Apparently there just wasn’t enough electricity for both the indicator light and John Edwards’ hair blower. So one of them had to go.

Here’s an embarrassing incident - on two Bush/Cheney billboards in New Jersey Dick Cheney’s’ last name is spelled with an "a” instead of an "e.” So apparently Bush really is in charge of his own campaign!

Today they began "early voting" in Florida. And once again, Al Gore lost.

The "early voting" was followed by "early screw-ups", "early intimidation" and "early lost ballots"

Halloween is around the corner and I saw my first guy in a John Kerry mask. Then I realized it was John Kerry. His face never moves. How can you tell?

Today Martha Stewart got her first phone call, the bad news, it was from Bill O’Reilly.

Bill O’Reilly accused of sexual harassment from a producer from his show. She claims he had phone sex with her. He says he’s a victim of a "vast right hand conspiracy.”

You know what’s fascinating about this, you’ve got Bill Bennett gambling, Rush Limbaugh on drugs, and Bill O’Reilly being sued for sexual harassment. Apparently being conservative is a lot more fun than it used to be.

It’s now week 6 of the NFL season and there’s still no professional football in L.A. God, it’s like we’re in Miami, what happened?

The Miami Dolphins are now 0 and 6. It’s so bad now Flipper the mascot now wants to be called a porpoise.

Here’s a strange story. According to a court judge in Italy, having sex in a bar bathroom does not breech public decency laws as long as the door to the stall is shut. Forget the legal thing. What kind of sleezball takes a woman into the men’s bathroom to have sex? Yeah, it’s lovely in here.

In Australia, a doctor has discovered a female patient whose sleep - walking causes her to go out and have sex with total strangers while she’s asleep...They could have diagnosed this years ago, but no guys ever complained.

John Kerry's "Honorable Discharge"? (Part II)

After yesterday's Article, we received this email:

Subject: Sealed military record?

Unlike McCain, Bush, and Gore.... Kerry has adamantly refused to authorize the release of his military records. Most think it's because of his phony battle medals.

I think the real reason is below. He was not granted an Honorable Discharge until March 2001, almost 30 years after his ostensible service term had ended! This is very much out of the ordinary, and highly suspect.

There are 5 classes of Discharge: Honorable, General, Other Than Honorable, Bad Conduct, and Dishonorable.

My guess is that he was Discharged in the '70s, but not Honorably. He appealed this sometime while Clinton was doing trouser-tricks in the Oval Office. Political pressure was applied, and the Honorable Discharge was then granted.

His file is probably rife with reports of this, submissions and hearings on the appeal, reports of his "giving aid and comfort" to the enemy, along with protests that were filed with respect to his alleged valor under fire. This will blow up in his face.

On 18 Feb. 1966 John Kerry signed a 6 year enlistment contract with the Navy (plus a 6-month extension during wartime).

Because John Kerry was discharged from Total Active Duty of only 3 years and 18 days on 3 Jan. 1970, he was then required to attend 48 drills per year, and not more than 17 days active duty for training.

Kerry was also subject to the Uniform Code of Military Justice. Additionally, Kerry, as a commissioned officer, was prohibited from making adverse statements against his chain of command or statements against his country, especially during time of war.

The Email also listed crimes Lt. Kerry USNR committed as a Ready Reservist, while he was acting as a leader of Vietnam Veterans Against the War.

Lt. Kerry by his own words and actions violated the UCMJ and the US Code while serving as a Navy officer. Lt. Kerry stands in violation of Article 3, Section 3 of the US Constitution, which defines treason as "giving aid and comfort" to the enemy in time of warfare.

A. L. "Steve" Nash, MAC Ret, UDT/SEAL SEAL AuthenticationTeam -Director AuthentiSEAL

From our Article, Sunday, October 17, 2004
John Kerry's "Honorable Discharge"?

Yesterday, John O'Neill (Swift Boat Vet) released this statement on the "Nightline" show:

One has to wonder why ABC News will not address the serious questions as to why John Kerry only received an honorable discharge through the act of then President Carter, seven years after his discharge, and had to have all of his military citations reissued, on the same day, when he became a United States Senator in 1985.

Did John Kerry received an honorable discharge through the act of then President Carter, seven years after his discharge or in Mar 12, 2001, as others has said?

Will ABC News and major media ever address this serious question?

Move over, Dan Rather, make room for Ted Koppel and ABC on the John Kerry bandwagon.