Tuesday, April 18, 2006
Late Night Jokes
Leno
Today is tax day. Which is a nice change of pace. We can skip one day of getting screwed at the gas pump to get screwed by the IRS.
President Bush had kind of a embarrassing moment on his taxes. Under dependants he listed Scooter Libby, Tom Delay, Jack Abramhoff. Then he caught himself and said, "Dependants? Oh, I thought they said defendants!"
The big story continues to be that seven retired generals have come forward and called for Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld to step down. In response to that, President Bush said he fully supports Donald Rumsfeld. You know what that means. Sounds like somebody may be going on a hunting trip with Dick Cheney.
That shows the difference between administrations - Bush can't control his generals; where as Clinton could never control his privates.
There's a bill on the senate floor here in California to make gay studies mandatory in high school. Kids would have to study gay history. Gay history is a little different. They call the Great Depression when Judy Garland died.
Letterman
If I seem a little down it’s because six former generals have called for my resignation.
Trouble at my house this weekend. Mom got liquored up and started reading from the gospel of Judas.
Today down on the White House lawn the kids looked for Easter Eggs. They did a great job. I was thinking, well maybe we should let the kids hunt for Osama bin Laden.
The kids found hundreds and hundreds of eggs and a bunch of Dick Cheney’s shell casings.
Leno
Today is tax day. Which is a nice change of pace. We can skip one day of getting screwed at the gas pump to get screwed by the IRS.
President Bush had kind of a embarrassing moment on his taxes. Under dependants he listed Scooter Libby, Tom Delay, Jack Abramhoff. Then he caught himself and said, "Dependants? Oh, I thought they said defendants!"
The big story continues to be that seven retired generals have come forward and called for Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld to step down. In response to that, President Bush said he fully supports Donald Rumsfeld. You know what that means. Sounds like somebody may be going on a hunting trip with Dick Cheney.
That shows the difference between administrations - Bush can't control his generals; where as Clinton could never control his privates.
There's a bill on the senate floor here in California to make gay studies mandatory in high school. Kids would have to study gay history. Gay history is a little different. They call the Great Depression when Judy Garland died.
Letterman
If I seem a little down it’s because six former generals have called for my resignation.
Trouble at my house this weekend. Mom got liquored up and started reading from the gospel of Judas.
Today down on the White House lawn the kids looked for Easter Eggs. They did a great job. I was thinking, well maybe we should let the kids hunt for Osama bin Laden.
The kids found hundreds and hundreds of eggs and a bunch of Dick Cheney’s shell casings.
