Wednesday, April 12, 2006
Late Nite Jokes
Leno
Well folks, it's April 10th. Or as they call it at FEMA. April Fools Day!
Here’s a huge story that is making news around the world. The finding of what they believe to be, the "gospel according to Judas". Or as they call it at the White House, the Scooter Libby testimony.
The White House has now admitted that while President Bush was complaining about people in the government leaking classified information, he himself was doing it. Which is pretty shocking, the White House lets President Bush look at classified information?
Over a one million people marched today in cities across the country to protest immigration laws. And while we wear watching them do that another million people snuck across the U.S.-Mexican border.
This is what I don't get about this. They've got oil. Their citizens love the United States. Forget Iraq, we should have invaded Mexico.
Today an intruder made it on to the front lawn of the White House when President Bush was home. He was apprehended by the secret service. The Secret Service says this is the fourth time the man jumped over the White House fence. We want to build along the entire Mexico border...we can't keep people out of the White House!
He got close but couldn't get in to the White House. So he is believed to be a Democrat.
Congratulations to Hugh Hefner who turned 80 years old over the weekend. One of his girlfriends told reporters he was like the creepy grandfather she never had. Hugh's at that awkward age. Too young to retire, too old to be dating any of those women.
Letterman
CBS has replaced Bob Schiefer with Katie Couric. Bob is gone so I am now the dullest man on CBS.
Tonight a new version of "The Ten Commandments” was shown right here on CBS. In this updated version Moses parts two cowboys.
Leno
Well folks, it's April 10th. Or as they call it at FEMA. April Fools Day!
Here’s a huge story that is making news around the world. The finding of what they believe to be, the "gospel according to Judas". Or as they call it at the White House, the Scooter Libby testimony.
The White House has now admitted that while President Bush was complaining about people in the government leaking classified information, he himself was doing it. Which is pretty shocking, the White House lets President Bush look at classified information?
Over a one million people marched today in cities across the country to protest immigration laws. And while we wear watching them do that another million people snuck across the U.S.-Mexican border.
This is what I don't get about this. They've got oil. Their citizens love the United States. Forget Iraq, we should have invaded Mexico.
Today an intruder made it on to the front lawn of the White House when President Bush was home. He was apprehended by the secret service. The Secret Service says this is the fourth time the man jumped over the White House fence. We want to build along the entire Mexico border...we can't keep people out of the White House!
He got close but couldn't get in to the White House. So he is believed to be a Democrat.
Congratulations to Hugh Hefner who turned 80 years old over the weekend. One of his girlfriends told reporters he was like the creepy grandfather she never had. Hugh's at that awkward age. Too young to retire, too old to be dating any of those women.
Letterman
CBS has replaced Bob Schiefer with Katie Couric. Bob is gone so I am now the dullest man on CBS.
Tonight a new version of "The Ten Commandments” was shown right here on CBS. In this updated version Moses parts two cowboys.
