Thursday, April 27, 2006
Late Nite Jokes
Leno
I had an interesting morning today. I went to Taco Bell and ordered a couple breakfast burritos. I wasn't really hungry. I just wanted to go to the last place in L.A. where you could get gas for under 3 bucks.
It's close to four dollars a gallon. This is like "revenge of the Amish." They got that smug little buggy thing.
You know gas is expensive when the guy behind the counter is wearing a ski-mask.
Give you an idea how expensive gas is, this morning I carpooled in with Letterman.
President Bush said this week to help with gas prices he will temporarily ease environmental regulations. Great. Not only will you not be able to drive, you won't be able to breathe either.
Republicans in congress are demanded that President Bush investigate whether the oil companies are engaging in price gouging. Putting the White House in charge of investigating the oil companies? Isn't that like putting Dick Cheney in charge of gun safety?
Immigration debate goes on, Senator Hillary Clinton says she wants a "smart wall" at the Mexican border...the only thing that can defeat these smart walls - smart Wal-Marts.
At the national portrait gallery in Washington, D.C. new portraits were unveiled of former President Clinton and First Lady Hillary Clinton. The Smithsonian said that the portraits of Bill and Hillary will not hang in the same room. Boy, talk about art reflecting life.
I'm surprised they did a portrait of Hillary. I thought maybe an ice sculpture would have been more appropriate.
"U.S. Weekly” reported Britney Spears is pregnant again. Good. Her baby boy will have someone to go to therapy with.
Leno
I had an interesting morning today. I went to Taco Bell and ordered a couple breakfast burritos. I wasn't really hungry. I just wanted to go to the last place in L.A. where you could get gas for under 3 bucks.
It's close to four dollars a gallon. This is like "revenge of the Amish." They got that smug little buggy thing.
You know gas is expensive when the guy behind the counter is wearing a ski-mask.
Give you an idea how expensive gas is, this morning I carpooled in with Letterman.
President Bush said this week to help with gas prices he will temporarily ease environmental regulations. Great. Not only will you not be able to drive, you won't be able to breathe either.
Republicans in congress are demanded that President Bush investigate whether the oil companies are engaging in price gouging. Putting the White House in charge of investigating the oil companies? Isn't that like putting Dick Cheney in charge of gun safety?
Immigration debate goes on, Senator Hillary Clinton says she wants a "smart wall" at the Mexican border...the only thing that can defeat these smart walls - smart Wal-Marts.
At the national portrait gallery in Washington, D.C. new portraits were unveiled of former President Clinton and First Lady Hillary Clinton. The Smithsonian said that the portraits of Bill and Hillary will not hang in the same room. Boy, talk about art reflecting life.
I'm surprised they did a portrait of Hillary. I thought maybe an ice sculpture would have been more appropriate.
"U.S. Weekly” reported Britney Spears is pregnant again. Good. Her baby boy will have someone to go to therapy with.
