Saturday, April 29, 2006
Late Nite Jokes
Leno
California has the highest gas prices in the nation. Gas is so expensive, I saw Tom Cruise and Brooke Shields carpooling to daycare.
Right behind them, Connie Chung was carpooling with Maury's new girlfriend.
In fact, gas is so high, Today Arnold Schwarzenegger had his Hummer towed. He had gas in it. But the tow truck gets better mileage.
Arnold Schwarzenegger is blaming man for global warming. And today Al Gore agreed with him. That's so typical. Two cyborgs blaming the humans.
President Bush said that he wants to find alternative sources of energy. He says they are looking towards solar power. In fact, he and Rumsfeld are actually planning an invasion of the sun.
Earlier this week, President Bush introduced former Fox broadcaster Tony Snow as the new White House Press Secretary. This is a great example of wasteful government spending. Why is the president paying someone to join his staff and tow the party line when he was doing it on Fox for free?
According to the Oxford dictionary, the number of words in the English language has now surpassed one billion. No wait - I'm sorry - that's the number of people in the U.S. who don't speak any English.
In the latest videotape Osama said the Bush administration is evil, made up excuses to attack Iraq and is obsessed with Mid East oil. So basically, Osama has the same platform as Hillary.
Leno
California has the highest gas prices in the nation. Gas is so expensive, I saw Tom Cruise and Brooke Shields carpooling to daycare.
Right behind them, Connie Chung was carpooling with Maury's new girlfriend.
In fact, gas is so high, Today Arnold Schwarzenegger had his Hummer towed. He had gas in it. But the tow truck gets better mileage.
Arnold Schwarzenegger is blaming man for global warming. And today Al Gore agreed with him. That's so typical. Two cyborgs blaming the humans.
President Bush said that he wants to find alternative sources of energy. He says they are looking towards solar power. In fact, he and Rumsfeld are actually planning an invasion of the sun.
Earlier this week, President Bush introduced former Fox broadcaster Tony Snow as the new White House Press Secretary. This is a great example of wasteful government spending. Why is the president paying someone to join his staff and tow the party line when he was doing it on Fox for free?
According to the Oxford dictionary, the number of words in the English language has now surpassed one billion. No wait - I'm sorry - that's the number of people in the U.S. who don't speak any English.
In the latest videotape Osama said the Bush administration is evil, made up excuses to attack Iraq and is obsessed with Mid East oil. So basically, Osama has the same platform as Hillary.
