Wednesday, February 28, 2007
Hillary Clinton Angers Asian-American Media
Sen. Hillary Rodham Clinton's presidential campaign barred reporters with prominent Chinese-language news organizations from a fundraiser last week, angering some journalists who serve San Francisco's sizable Asian-American community.
Reporters from at least two Chinese-language newspapers and a crew from a Chinese-language TV station were denied admission to the event Friday when they arrived after a Secret Service-imposed cutoff time, according to the journalists and the New York senator's campaign.
The Chinese-language newspapers and some other media had not been included on the e-mail list from the campaign telling journalists to check in by 11:45 a.m. Friday, Clinton campaign spokesman Mo Elleithee said Tuesday. Elleithee said the campaign was sorry for the misunderstanding and would take steps to avoid a recurrence.
Reporter Portia Li of the World Journal, a Chinese-language paper run independently from offices in San Francisco and other North American cities, said that when she arrived about five minutes late a staff member asked her for two forms of identification. Li said she found that insulting because she never had to do so at similar events.
"She kept saying this is only open for local media, not foreign press," Li said. "I told her, I'm not foreign press. I'm local media."
Li added: "It's not about myself, it's about how the mainstream looks at Chinese (people) as a whole."
Sen. Hillary Rodham Clinton's presidential campaign barred reporters with prominent Chinese-language news organizations from a fundraiser last week, angering some journalists who serve San Francisco's sizable Asian-American community.
Reporters from at least two Chinese-language newspapers and a crew from a Chinese-language TV station were denied admission to the event Friday when they arrived after a Secret Service-imposed cutoff time, according to the journalists and the New York senator's campaign.
The Chinese-language newspapers and some other media had not been included on the e-mail list from the campaign telling journalists to check in by 11:45 a.m. Friday, Clinton campaign spokesman Mo Elleithee said Tuesday. Elleithee said the campaign was sorry for the misunderstanding and would take steps to avoid a recurrence.
Reporter Portia Li of the World Journal, a Chinese-language paper run independently from offices in San Francisco and other North American cities, said that when she arrived about five minutes late a staff member asked her for two forms of identification. Li said she found that insulting because she never had to do so at similar events.
"She kept saying this is only open for local media, not foreign press," Li said. "I told her, I'm not foreign press. I'm local media."
Li added: "It's not about myself, it's about how the mainstream looks at Chinese (people) as a whole."
Tuesday, February 27, 2007
McCain Has Age-Old Problem
Former Senate Majority Leader Bob Dole, the Republican nominee for president in 1996, says Sen. John McCain’s age may be a major problem to address during the 2008 campaign.
Dole, now 83, was the oldest man to run for the White House when he was defeated by incumbent President Bill Clinton 11 years ago. Dole told The Sentinel newspaper in Carlisle, Pa., that the 70-year-old McCain will face "constant questions about his fitness and ability to serve” during the long presidential campaign.
Dole said McCain remains a front-runner for the Republicans but he thinks two other opponents – former New York City mayor Rudy Giuliani and former Massachusetts Gov. Mitt Romney – may prove more formidable.
The former senator from Kansas calls Giuliani the "mayor of America,” and thinks his strong views on national security may trump Giuliani’s more liberal views on social issues among GOP primary voters.
Dole said Romney is "an attractive guy” in the John F. Kennedy vein and is "one on the Republican side to keep your eye on.”
Among Democrats, Dole acknowledged that Sens. Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama are the front-runners, but he said John Edwards should not be overlooked.
Edwards and Dole’s wife, Sen. Elizabeth Dole, R-N.C., represented North Carolina in the Senate from 2002-2004.
Former Senate Majority Leader Bob Dole, the Republican nominee for president in 1996, says Sen. John McCain’s age may be a major problem to address during the 2008 campaign.
Dole, now 83, was the oldest man to run for the White House when he was defeated by incumbent President Bill Clinton 11 years ago. Dole told The Sentinel newspaper in Carlisle, Pa., that the 70-year-old McCain will face "constant questions about his fitness and ability to serve” during the long presidential campaign.
Dole said McCain remains a front-runner for the Republicans but he thinks two other opponents – former New York City mayor Rudy Giuliani and former Massachusetts Gov. Mitt Romney – may prove more formidable.
The former senator from Kansas calls Giuliani the "mayor of America,” and thinks his strong views on national security may trump Giuliani’s more liberal views on social issues among GOP primary voters.
Dole said Romney is "an attractive guy” in the John F. Kennedy vein and is "one on the Republican side to keep your eye on.”
Among Democrats, Dole acknowledged that Sens. Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama are the front-runners, but he said John Edwards should not be overlooked.
Edwards and Dole’s wife, Sen. Elizabeth Dole, R-N.C., represented North Carolina in the Senate from 2002-2004.
Monday, February 26, 2007
Cheney Won't Back Down on Pelosi Statement
Vice President Dick Cheney refused Friday to take back his charge that House Speaker Nancy Pelosi's opposition to President Bush's Iraq war buildup is playing into the hands of the al-Qaida terrorist network.
"If you're going to advocate a course of action that basically is withdrawal of our forces from Iraq, then you don't get to just do the fun part of that, that says, 'We'll, we're going to get out,' and appeal to your constituents on that basis," Cheney said.
The vice president had voiced the same criticism of Pelosi earlier this week during a visit to Japan, and the California Democrat accused the vice president of questioning her patriotism, saying she was going to call President Bush directly with her complaint.
"I hope the president will repudiate and distance himself from the vice president's remarks," Pelosi said. She ended up talking with White House chief of staff Josh Bolten instead of Bush.
The long-distance quarrel began in Tokyo, where Cheney earlier this week used an interview to criticize Pelosi and Rep. John Murtha, D-Pa., over their plan to place restrictions on Bush's request for an additional $93 billion for the Iraq war to make it difficult or impossible to send 21,500 extra troops to Iraq.
During Friday's interview in Sydney with ABC News, Cheney said, "I'm not sure what part of it is that Nancy disagreed with. She accused me of questioning her patriotism. I didn't question her patriotism. I questioned her judgment."
"You also have to be accountable for the results. What are the consequences of that? What happens if we withdraw from Iraq?," he said. "And the point I made and I'll make it again is that al-Qaida functions on the basis that they think they can break our will. That's their fundamental underlying strategy, that if they can kill enough Americans or cause enough havoc, create enough chaos in Iraq, then we'll quit and go home. And my statement was that if we adopt the Pelosi policy, that then we will validate the strategy of al-Qaida. I said it and I meant it."
Asked if he was willing to take back his criticism of Pelosi, Cheney replied, "I'm not backing down."
Vice President Dick Cheney refused Friday to take back his charge that House Speaker Nancy Pelosi's opposition to President Bush's Iraq war buildup is playing into the hands of the al-Qaida terrorist network.
"If you're going to advocate a course of action that basically is withdrawal of our forces from Iraq, then you don't get to just do the fun part of that, that says, 'We'll, we're going to get out,' and appeal to your constituents on that basis," Cheney said.
The vice president had voiced the same criticism of Pelosi earlier this week during a visit to Japan, and the California Democrat accused the vice president of questioning her patriotism, saying she was going to call President Bush directly with her complaint.
"I hope the president will repudiate and distance himself from the vice president's remarks," Pelosi said. She ended up talking with White House chief of staff Josh Bolten instead of Bush.
The long-distance quarrel began in Tokyo, where Cheney earlier this week used an interview to criticize Pelosi and Rep. John Murtha, D-Pa., over their plan to place restrictions on Bush's request for an additional $93 billion for the Iraq war to make it difficult or impossible to send 21,500 extra troops to Iraq.
During Friday's interview in Sydney with ABC News, Cheney said, "I'm not sure what part of it is that Nancy disagreed with. She accused me of questioning her patriotism. I didn't question her patriotism. I questioned her judgment."
"You also have to be accountable for the results. What are the consequences of that? What happens if we withdraw from Iraq?," he said. "And the point I made and I'll make it again is that al-Qaida functions on the basis that they think they can break our will. That's their fundamental underlying strategy, that if they can kill enough Americans or cause enough havoc, create enough chaos in Iraq, then we'll quit and go home. And my statement was that if we adopt the Pelosi policy, that then we will validate the strategy of al-Qaida. I said it and I meant it."
Asked if he was willing to take back his criticism of Pelosi, Cheney replied, "I'm not backing down."
Sunday, February 25, 2007
Slavery Ties Al Sharpton to Strom Thurmond
The Rev. Al Sharpton is a descendant of a slave owned by relatives of the late Sen. Strom Thurmond - a discovery the civil rights activist called "shocking" on Sunday.
Sharpton learned of his connection to Thurmond, once a prominent defender of segregation, last week through the Daily News, which asked genealogists to trace his roots.
"It was probably the most shocking thing in my life," Sharpton said at a news conference Sunday, the same day the tabloid revealed the story.
Some of Thurmond's relatives said the nexus also came as a surprise to them. Doris Strom Costner, a distant cousin who said she knew the late senator all her life, said Sunday she "never heard of such a thing."
"My momma never would talk to me about nothing like that," Costner said of ancestors who owned slaves. "She only talked to me about good things."
The revelations surfaced after Ancestry.com contacted a Daily News reporter who agreed to have his own family tree done. The intrigued reporter then turned around and asked Sharpton if he wanted to participate. Sharpton said he told the paper, "Go for it."
The genealogists, who were not paid by the newspaper, uncovered the ancestral ties using a variety of documents that included census, marriage and death records.
They found that Sharpton's great-grandfather, Coleman Sharpton, was a slave owned by Julia Thurmond, whose grandfather was Strom Thurmond's great-great-grandfather. Coleman Sharpton was later freed.
Thurmond, of South Carolina, was once considered an icon of racial segregation. During his 1948 bid for president, he promised to preserve segregation and, in 1957, he filibustered for more than 24 hours against a civil rights bill.
Sharpton, who ran for president in 2004 on a ticket of racial justice, said he met Thurmond only once in 1991 when he visited Washington, D.C., with the late soul singer James Brown, who knew Thurmond. Sharpton said the meeting was "awkward."
"I was not happy to meet him because what he had done all his life," Sharpton said.
Thurmond was seen as softening his segregation stance later in his life. He died in 2003, at 100. The long-serving senator was originally a Democrat but became a Republican in 1964.
Thurmond's children have acknowledged that Thurmond fathered a biracial daughter. Essie Mae Washington-Williams' mother was a housekeeper in the home of Thurmond's parents.
Telephone message left by The Associated Press on Sunday for Strom Thurmond Jr. and an attorney who once represented Thurmond's biracial daughter, Essie Mae Washington-Williams, were not returned.
The Rev. Al Sharpton is a descendant of a slave owned by relatives of the late Sen. Strom Thurmond - a discovery the civil rights activist called "shocking" on Sunday.
Sharpton learned of his connection to Thurmond, once a prominent defender of segregation, last week through the Daily News, which asked genealogists to trace his roots.
"It was probably the most shocking thing in my life," Sharpton said at a news conference Sunday, the same day the tabloid revealed the story.
Some of Thurmond's relatives said the nexus also came as a surprise to them. Doris Strom Costner, a distant cousin who said she knew the late senator all her life, said Sunday she "never heard of such a thing."
"My momma never would talk to me about nothing like that," Costner said of ancestors who owned slaves. "She only talked to me about good things."
The revelations surfaced after Ancestry.com contacted a Daily News reporter who agreed to have his own family tree done. The intrigued reporter then turned around and asked Sharpton if he wanted to participate. Sharpton said he told the paper, "Go for it."
The genealogists, who were not paid by the newspaper, uncovered the ancestral ties using a variety of documents that included census, marriage and death records.
They found that Sharpton's great-grandfather, Coleman Sharpton, was a slave owned by Julia Thurmond, whose grandfather was Strom Thurmond's great-great-grandfather. Coleman Sharpton was later freed.
Thurmond, of South Carolina, was once considered an icon of racial segregation. During his 1948 bid for president, he promised to preserve segregation and, in 1957, he filibustered for more than 24 hours against a civil rights bill.
Sharpton, who ran for president in 2004 on a ticket of racial justice, said he met Thurmond only once in 1991 when he visited Washington, D.C., with the late soul singer James Brown, who knew Thurmond. Sharpton said the meeting was "awkward."
"I was not happy to meet him because what he had done all his life," Sharpton said.
Thurmond was seen as softening his segregation stance later in his life. He died in 2003, at 100. The long-serving senator was originally a Democrat but became a Republican in 1964.
Thurmond's children have acknowledged that Thurmond fathered a biracial daughter. Essie Mae Washington-Williams' mother was a housekeeper in the home of Thurmond's parents.
Telephone message left by The Associated Press on Sunday for Strom Thurmond Jr. and an attorney who once represented Thurmond's biracial daughter, Essie Mae Washington-Williams, were not returned.
Saturday, February 24, 2007
Hillary: Bill's Impeachment 'Taboo'
President Clinton was never impeached. At least that's what his wife, Sen. Hillary Rodham Clinton, wants voters to believe in her campaign for the Democratic presidential nomination in 2008.
Hillary has proclaimed a new commandment for her rivals for the nomination: "Thou shalt not mention anything related to the impeachment of her husband."
According to the Washington Post, her advisers advocated a strategy of declaring the former president's "impeachment in 1998 -- or, more accurately, the embarrassing personal behavior that led to it -- taboo, putting her rivals on notice and all but daring other Democrats to mention the ordeal again."
"In the end, voters will decide what's off-limits, but I can't imagine that the public will reward the politics of personal destruction," senior Clinton adviser Howard Wolfson, told the Post, when asked whether the impeachment is fair game for Hillary's opponents. Earlier in the week, the Post recalled, Wolfson dismissed references to Bill Clinton's conduct as "under the belt."
The whole matter of Bill Clinton's White House behavior came up last week when Hollywood multibillionaire David Geffen, formerly an avid supporter of the Clintons and now a backer of Sen. Barack Obama, D-Ill., brought up the subject of the ex-president's unseemly personal behavior. His remarks, the Post opined, suggested that the whole impeachment scandal "remains something of a tripwire for [Mrs.] Clinton.
"Although she has spent the past seven years establishing her own identity as a public servant," the Post wrote, Hillary has been emphasizing more widely the more popular aspects of her husband's White House years, making frequent references to their time together in the executive mansion. But in invoking the good Bill Clinton, several Democratic strategists told the Post, Hillary has also risked invoking the bad.
"She's using him in this campaign, so why can't somebody else use him?" a veteran of Democratic presidential politics currently unaligned with any candidate asked the Post. "She's just made him fair game. He's part of her strategy, so why can't he be part of one of her opponents'?"
One key opponent, Obama has not avoided raising the question of Bill Clinton's shady past, noting that the former president is "trapped by his own biography," according to the Post
Up until now, the subject has been ignored in the public Democratic dialogue about the 1990s, the Post suggested -- particularly in Hillary's resume -- until last week.
Hillary, however, hasn't entirely avoided her husband's misadventures. When speaking at an Iowa forum, she joked that she had experience in dealing with "evil and bad men" without identifying them, but leaving no doubt as to who one of them might be.
It's not that Democrats fear talk about the impeachement and the scandals -- some suggest that bringing them up will hurt any detractors. One told the Post: "Attacking Bill Clinton is a losing strategy," adding that he remains highly popular among Democratic activists. James Carville, a longtime Clinton aide, told the Post that mentioning the impeachment would be tantamount to political suicide for the attacker.
"Nothing is off-limits, but it would be awfully stupid," Carville said. "What do you think attitudes among Democrats are about impeachment and Ken Starr? This is not a Washington dinner party here. This is an election, a nominating process, among Democrats."
President Clinton was never impeached. At least that's what his wife, Sen. Hillary Rodham Clinton, wants voters to believe in her campaign for the Democratic presidential nomination in 2008.
Hillary has proclaimed a new commandment for her rivals for the nomination: "Thou shalt not mention anything related to the impeachment of her husband."
According to the Washington Post, her advisers advocated a strategy of declaring the former president's "impeachment in 1998 -- or, more accurately, the embarrassing personal behavior that led to it -- taboo, putting her rivals on notice and all but daring other Democrats to mention the ordeal again."
"In the end, voters will decide what's off-limits, but I can't imagine that the public will reward the politics of personal destruction," senior Clinton adviser Howard Wolfson, told the Post, when asked whether the impeachment is fair game for Hillary's opponents. Earlier in the week, the Post recalled, Wolfson dismissed references to Bill Clinton's conduct as "under the belt."
The whole matter of Bill Clinton's White House behavior came up last week when Hollywood multibillionaire David Geffen, formerly an avid supporter of the Clintons and now a backer of Sen. Barack Obama, D-Ill., brought up the subject of the ex-president's unseemly personal behavior. His remarks, the Post opined, suggested that the whole impeachment scandal "remains something of a tripwire for [Mrs.] Clinton.
"Although she has spent the past seven years establishing her own identity as a public servant," the Post wrote, Hillary has been emphasizing more widely the more popular aspects of her husband's White House years, making frequent references to their time together in the executive mansion. But in invoking the good Bill Clinton, several Democratic strategists told the Post, Hillary has also risked invoking the bad.
"She's using him in this campaign, so why can't somebody else use him?" a veteran of Democratic presidential politics currently unaligned with any candidate asked the Post. "She's just made him fair game. He's part of her strategy, so why can't he be part of one of her opponents'?"
One key opponent, Obama has not avoided raising the question of Bill Clinton's shady past, noting that the former president is "trapped by his own biography," according to the Post
Up until now, the subject has been ignored in the public Democratic dialogue about the 1990s, the Post suggested -- particularly in Hillary's resume -- until last week.
Hillary, however, hasn't entirely avoided her husband's misadventures. When speaking at an Iowa forum, she joked that she had experience in dealing with "evil and bad men" without identifying them, but leaving no doubt as to who one of them might be.
It's not that Democrats fear talk about the impeachement and the scandals -- some suggest that bringing them up will hurt any detractors. One told the Post: "Attacking Bill Clinton is a losing strategy," adding that he remains highly popular among Democratic activists. James Carville, a longtime Clinton aide, told the Post that mentioning the impeachment would be tantamount to political suicide for the attacker.
"Nothing is off-limits, but it would be awfully stupid," Carville said. "What do you think attitudes among Democrats are about impeachment and Ken Starr? This is not a Washington dinner party here. This is an election, a nominating process, among Democrats."
Late Nite Jokes
Letterman
On this day in 1902, they invented the vacuum cleaner. The only thing that’s sucked longer is the Nicks.
How about Al Gore? "An Inconvenient Truth" has been nominated for an Academy Award. Two as a matter of fact. It’s all about the environment. And I can’t think of anything better for the environment than an event that features 2,000 stretch limousines.
Expect a lot of new faces at the Academy Awards. Not a lot of new people, but a lot of new faces.
Conan
Yesterday at a political rally, Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger called John McCain a great senator and a very good friend. Apparently, Arnold likes McCain because it's so much easier to pronounce than "Giuliani.”
The furniture chain Ikea announced that it is going to start charging customers for plastic bags at the check-out counter. The Ikea bags will come in two sizes: "Glooken” and "Sven."
Paris Hilton threw herself a birthday party this week, and she brought two dates. Which explains why Paris told her guests, "No cake for me; I had a sandwich in the car."
Ferguson
It is Dakota Fanning’s birthday today! Wee Dakota, she’s 13 today! Thirteen! Which is 52 in Hollywood years.
In Costa Rica, a bunch of muggers attacked a group of elderly American tourists. The American senior citizens beat the muggers up. That’s the last time anyone messes with the Golden Girls, I’ll tell ya that.
That’s an amazing story I think. An old person beating the crap out of someone. It’s a great idea for a movie. Wait — Sylvester Stallone just made that movie.
Do you know what gets me? At the Academy Awards —they always get overlooked . . . comedies. That Borat movie. Sacha Cohen had to roll around with a naked fat guy! That is not how you get an Oscar in Hollywood. That’s how you get the job in Hollywood.
Kimmel
This whole neighborhood is swarming with Oscar security. I had to actually catapult into work this morning. The confiscated my Chinese throwing stars!
The Anna Nicole Smith hearing came to a close yesterday, or so we thought. Even though the judge ruled the guardian of Anna Nicole’s child will decide where the body’s going to be buried, her mother is now appealiong that decision because she still wants the body to be buried in Texas. This may be crude, but isn’t the simplest way of settling this to send half the body to Texas and half to the Bahamas?
Tom Vilsack pulled out of the presidential race today. I don’t know who he is either, but
Letterman
On this day in 1902, they invented the vacuum cleaner. The only thing that’s sucked longer is the Nicks.
How about Al Gore? "An Inconvenient Truth" has been nominated for an Academy Award. Two as a matter of fact. It’s all about the environment. And I can’t think of anything better for the environment than an event that features 2,000 stretch limousines.
Expect a lot of new faces at the Academy Awards. Not a lot of new people, but a lot of new faces.
Conan
Yesterday at a political rally, Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger called John McCain a great senator and a very good friend. Apparently, Arnold likes McCain because it's so much easier to pronounce than "Giuliani.”
The furniture chain Ikea announced that it is going to start charging customers for plastic bags at the check-out counter. The Ikea bags will come in two sizes: "Glooken” and "Sven."
Paris Hilton threw herself a birthday party this week, and she brought two dates. Which explains why Paris told her guests, "No cake for me; I had a sandwich in the car."
Ferguson
It is Dakota Fanning’s birthday today! Wee Dakota, she’s 13 today! Thirteen! Which is 52 in Hollywood years.
In Costa Rica, a bunch of muggers attacked a group of elderly American tourists. The American senior citizens beat the muggers up. That’s the last time anyone messes with the Golden Girls, I’ll tell ya that.
That’s an amazing story I think. An old person beating the crap out of someone. It’s a great idea for a movie. Wait — Sylvester Stallone just made that movie.
Do you know what gets me? At the Academy Awards —they always get overlooked . . . comedies. That Borat movie. Sacha Cohen had to roll around with a naked fat guy! That is not how you get an Oscar in Hollywood. That’s how you get the job in Hollywood.
Kimmel
This whole neighborhood is swarming with Oscar security. I had to actually catapult into work this morning. The confiscated my Chinese throwing stars!
The Anna Nicole Smith hearing came to a close yesterday, or so we thought. Even though the judge ruled the guardian of Anna Nicole’s child will decide where the body’s going to be buried, her mother is now appealiong that decision because she still wants the body to be buried in Texas. This may be crude, but isn’t the simplest way of settling this to send half the body to Texas and half to the Bahamas?
Tom Vilsack pulled out of the presidential race today. I don’t know who he is either, but
Friday, February 23, 2007
James Carville: Hillary Won’t Be Swift-boated
Democratic political strategist James Carville is revisiting the Swift Boat Veterans for Truth’s attack on John Kerry in 2004 to scare up financial support for Hillary Clinton’s presidential campaign.
In a mass e-mail sent out under the "Hillary for President” banner, Carville offers a quote from the StopHillaryPAC: "Those Swift Boat Veterans for Truth were the real heroes of the 2004 election. We at the StopHillaryPAC want to do the same thing to Hillary.”
Carville writes: "You read that right. There are people who think the Swift Boat Veterans for Truth are heroes for what they did in 2004 – and now they have their sights set on Hillary...
"These ‘swift-boaters’ know, like you and I do, that Hillary is the strongest candidate Democrats have. They know she’s a fighter who will stand up for what’s right, as she has done all her life.
And there’s nothing they fear more...
"Let’s show these attack dogs what we’re made of.”
Carville – the architect of Bill Clinton’s win in 1992 – asks for contributions of $100, $50 or $25 to Hillary’s exploratory committee.
On its Web site, the StopHillaryPAC statement quoted by Carville actually reads in full:
"We at the StopHillaryPAC want to do the same thing to Hillary: take her record - ever since she became a radical, America-hating lawyer at Yale Law School in the 1970s all the way through her years in Arkansas and the White House and now as a Senator - and use it against her.”
Democratic political strategist James Carville is revisiting the Swift Boat Veterans for Truth’s attack on John Kerry in 2004 to scare up financial support for Hillary Clinton’s presidential campaign.
In a mass e-mail sent out under the "Hillary for President” banner, Carville offers a quote from the StopHillaryPAC: "Those Swift Boat Veterans for Truth were the real heroes of the 2004 election. We at the StopHillaryPAC want to do the same thing to Hillary.”
Carville writes: "You read that right. There are people who think the Swift Boat Veterans for Truth are heroes for what they did in 2004 – and now they have their sights set on Hillary...
"These ‘swift-boaters’ know, like you and I do, that Hillary is the strongest candidate Democrats have. They know she’s a fighter who will stand up for what’s right, as she has done all her life.
And there’s nothing they fear more...
"Let’s show these attack dogs what we’re made of.”
Carville – the architect of Bill Clinton’s win in 1992 – asks for contributions of $100, $50 or $25 to Hillary’s exploratory committee.
On its Web site, the StopHillaryPAC statement quoted by Carville actually reads in full:
"We at the StopHillaryPAC want to do the same thing to Hillary: take her record - ever since she became a radical, America-hating lawyer at Yale Law School in the 1970s all the way through her years in Arkansas and the White House and now as a Senator - and use it against her.”
Late Nite Jokes
Leno
There was a ruling today in the Anna Nicole Smith case today. The judge is a whack job!
Did you see the judge start crying? He’s the judge . . . he’s not supposed to be emotional. I haven’t seen a judge cry that much since Paula Abdul.
Bank of America will be giving out credit cards to illegals. See, this way they won’t need cash. You can buy forged papers and phony driver’s licenses on credit.
In Saint Paul, Minn., a couple got in trouble after police found 150 pounds of marijuana hidden in the gas tank of their car. How stupid is that? Just fill the tank with gasoline — it will be worth more than the drugs.
Letterman
I don’t know what the weather is like around the United States, but here in New York City, it’s been weird: 40 degress today, 60 degrees on Tuesday, and 30 degress on Monday. It’s been so crazy, Al Roker checked into rehab.
How many people have been watching the Anna Nicole Smith legal proceedings? I would call it a circus, but I don’t want to insult the good people at Ringling Brothers.
There were so many witnesses at the Anna Nicole Smith hearing, Jerry Springer couldn’t find guests for his show.
Letterman's Top Ten
Top Ten Messages Left On Britney Spears’ Answering Machine
10. "It’s Bill Clinton. I hear you’re confused and vulnerable. Call me.”
9. "Hi, Britney. Good news — we now have a revolving door at the rehab center.”
8. "Al Gore here. You’re contributing to global warming because your new look is hot!”
7. "It’s K-Fed. Who woulda thought I’d look like the responsible one?”
6. "It’s Melania Trump. Think you and the clippers can fix the mess on Donald’s head?”
5. "I’m calling from ‘American Idol’: Would you like to replace Paula Abdul as our crazy judge?”
4. "NASA calling — we think you might be astronaut material.”
3. "Carol Channing here, I want my wig back, bitch!”
2. "Hey, it’s Paris. Are we still on for sluttin’ it up this weekend?”
1. "This is the hair salon. You left your underpants here.”
Ferguson
It’s a great day for America, not such a great day for Barack Obama and Hillary. They’re at it already. They’re fighting they’re feuding, Why can’t they just shake hands and say, "May the best man win.”
The feud between them started when the Hollywood mogul David Geffen called the Clintons liars. Now when a Hollywood producer calls you a liar, he knows what he’s talking about.
Whole Foods is buying Wild Oats. We’ll have to have a new company. I don’t know it’s going to be called . . . Whole and Oats! There ya are.
Kimmel
The judge in the Anna Nicole Smith case got surprisingly emotional when he read his decision. He wept through the whole decision because he realized that after almost two weeks, this would be the last time he would be appearing on television.
The only thing missing from this case was Bo and Luke Duke driving the General Lee through courtroom.
Britney Spears is reportedly back in rehab again for the third time this week. Her stays in rehab have been even shorter than her marriages.
Leno
There was a ruling today in the Anna Nicole Smith case today. The judge is a whack job!
Did you see the judge start crying? He’s the judge . . . he’s not supposed to be emotional. I haven’t seen a judge cry that much since Paula Abdul.
Bank of America will be giving out credit cards to illegals. See, this way they won’t need cash. You can buy forged papers and phony driver’s licenses on credit.
In Saint Paul, Minn., a couple got in trouble after police found 150 pounds of marijuana hidden in the gas tank of their car. How stupid is that? Just fill the tank with gasoline — it will be worth more than the drugs.
Letterman
I don’t know what the weather is like around the United States, but here in New York City, it’s been weird: 40 degress today, 60 degrees on Tuesday, and 30 degress on Monday. It’s been so crazy, Al Roker checked into rehab.
How many people have been watching the Anna Nicole Smith legal proceedings? I would call it a circus, but I don’t want to insult the good people at Ringling Brothers.
There were so many witnesses at the Anna Nicole Smith hearing, Jerry Springer couldn’t find guests for his show.
Letterman's Top Ten
Top Ten Messages Left On Britney Spears’ Answering Machine
10. "It’s Bill Clinton. I hear you’re confused and vulnerable. Call me.”
9. "Hi, Britney. Good news — we now have a revolving door at the rehab center.”
8. "Al Gore here. You’re contributing to global warming because your new look is hot!”
7. "It’s K-Fed. Who woulda thought I’d look like the responsible one?”
6. "It’s Melania Trump. Think you and the clippers can fix the mess on Donald’s head?”
5. "I’m calling from ‘American Idol’: Would you like to replace Paula Abdul as our crazy judge?”
4. "NASA calling — we think you might be astronaut material.”
3. "Carol Channing here, I want my wig back, bitch!”
2. "Hey, it’s Paris. Are we still on for sluttin’ it up this weekend?”
1. "This is the hair salon. You left your underpants here.”
Ferguson
It’s a great day for America, not such a great day for Barack Obama and Hillary. They’re at it already. They’re fighting they’re feuding, Why can’t they just shake hands and say, "May the best man win.”
The feud between them started when the Hollywood mogul David Geffen called the Clintons liars. Now when a Hollywood producer calls you a liar, he knows what he’s talking about.
Whole Foods is buying Wild Oats. We’ll have to have a new company. I don’t know it’s going to be called . . . Whole and Oats! There ya are.
Kimmel
The judge in the Anna Nicole Smith case got surprisingly emotional when he read his decision. He wept through the whole decision because he realized that after almost two weeks, this would be the last time he would be appearing on television.
The only thing missing from this case was Bo and Luke Duke driving the General Lee through courtroom.
Britney Spears is reportedly back in rehab again for the third time this week. Her stays in rehab have been even shorter than her marriages.
Thursday, February 22, 2007
Why David Geffen Hates Hillary & Bill Clinton
Why does movie mogul David Geffen hate the Clintons so much?
His personal attack made this week on Hillary Clinton harkens back to then-President Bill Clinton’s refusal to pardon an American Indian activist Geffen believes was falsely convicted of murder.
DreamWorks co-chairman Geffen and Bill Clinton were once close, and Geffen raised some $18 million for Clinton. He was even a guest in the White House's Lincoln Bedroom during the Clinton presidency.
Geffen turned his back on his friend when he pardoned fugitive financier Marc Rich in the last days of his administration – after rebuffing Geffen’s request for a pardon for Leonard Peltier.
In June 1975 – during protests by the American Indian Movement – federal agents entered a ranch on the Pine Ridge reservation in South Dakota. Following a shootout, two agents were found shot at close range through the head.
Peltier, who was on the reservation that day, fled to Canada but was later extradited, convicted of murder and sentenced to two consecutive life terms. He remains behind bars. Supporters, including Geffen, have claimed that authorities falsified evidence and withheld other evidence at the trial, and have long sought a pardon for Peltier, now 62 and in poor health.
In his recent anti-Clinton remarks that were quoted by New York Times columnist Maureen Dowd, Geffen called Bill Clinton a "reckless guy,” criticized Hillary’s stand on the Iraq war, and asked if there is "anybody more ambitious than Hillary Clinton?”
Geffen, who is supporting Sen. Barack Obama for the Democratic nomination for president, also said: "Marc Rich getting pardoned? . . . Yet another time when the Clintons were unwilling to stand for the things that they genuinely believe in.”
Word from Hollywood sources was the Geffen, at first, had taken Clinton’s decision not to pardon Peltier in stride.
But Geffen went ballistic when he learned that President Clinton issued pardons to wrongdoers like Rich and 139 others in his final days in office. Among the pardons that sparked the most controversy:
Marc Rich was indicted on tax evasion, commodities fraud and other charges in 1983 and fled to Switzerland. After Clinton pardoned him, a House committee probing Clinton’s pardons sought testimony from Rich’s ex-wife Denise, who had been a major contributor to Democratic causes – including Hillary’s Senate campaign and the Clinton Presidential Library. Denise Rich invoked the Fifth Amendment.
Almon Glenn Braswell was pardoned of his mail fraud and perjury convictions after paying about $200,000 to Hillary’s brother, Hugh Rodham, to represent his case for clemency. He later returned the payments, but he too invoked the Fifth Amendment during a Congressional hearing.
In 2000, Clinton pardoned Vonna Jo Gregory, owner of the carnival company United Shows International, and her husband Edgar for a 1982 bank fraud conviction. After the pardon, the company gave Hillary’s brother Anthony Rodham $107,000 in "loans” that he has never repaid.
On his last day in office, Clinton pardoned his old friend Susan McDougal, who had already completed her sentence for her role in the Whitewater scandal.
Clinton also pardoned his brother Roger on drug charges, and former Housing secretary Henry Cisneros, who was convicted of lying to the FBI about payments to a mistress.
Clinton slashed the prison sentences of four men convicted of stealing millions in federal grants. The men were from a community of Hasidic Jews in New Square, N.Y., which voted 1,400 to 12 in favor of Hillary Clinton in her first Senate race.
Clinton also commuted the sentences – over the objections of the FBI and the U.S. Attorney’s Office – of 11 members of a Puerto Rican nationalist group that set off more than 100 bombs in the U.S. The large Puerto Rican community in New York City supports Democrats.
Why does movie mogul David Geffen hate the Clintons so much?
His personal attack made this week on Hillary Clinton harkens back to then-President Bill Clinton’s refusal to pardon an American Indian activist Geffen believes was falsely convicted of murder.
DreamWorks co-chairman Geffen and Bill Clinton were once close, and Geffen raised some $18 million for Clinton. He was even a guest in the White House's Lincoln Bedroom during the Clinton presidency.
Geffen turned his back on his friend when he pardoned fugitive financier Marc Rich in the last days of his administration – after rebuffing Geffen’s request for a pardon for Leonard Peltier.
In June 1975 – during protests by the American Indian Movement – federal agents entered a ranch on the Pine Ridge reservation in South Dakota. Following a shootout, two agents were found shot at close range through the head.
Peltier, who was on the reservation that day, fled to Canada but was later extradited, convicted of murder and sentenced to two consecutive life terms. He remains behind bars. Supporters, including Geffen, have claimed that authorities falsified evidence and withheld other evidence at the trial, and have long sought a pardon for Peltier, now 62 and in poor health.
In his recent anti-Clinton remarks that were quoted by New York Times columnist Maureen Dowd, Geffen called Bill Clinton a "reckless guy,” criticized Hillary’s stand on the Iraq war, and asked if there is "anybody more ambitious than Hillary Clinton?”
Geffen, who is supporting Sen. Barack Obama for the Democratic nomination for president, also said: "Marc Rich getting pardoned? . . . Yet another time when the Clintons were unwilling to stand for the things that they genuinely believe in.”
Word from Hollywood sources was the Geffen, at first, had taken Clinton’s decision not to pardon Peltier in stride.
But Geffen went ballistic when he learned that President Clinton issued pardons to wrongdoers like Rich and 139 others in his final days in office. Among the pardons that sparked the most controversy:
Marc Rich was indicted on tax evasion, commodities fraud and other charges in 1983 and fled to Switzerland. After Clinton pardoned him, a House committee probing Clinton’s pardons sought testimony from Rich’s ex-wife Denise, who had been a major contributor to Democratic causes – including Hillary’s Senate campaign and the Clinton Presidential Library. Denise Rich invoked the Fifth Amendment.
Almon Glenn Braswell was pardoned of his mail fraud and perjury convictions after paying about $200,000 to Hillary’s brother, Hugh Rodham, to represent his case for clemency. He later returned the payments, but he too invoked the Fifth Amendment during a Congressional hearing.
In 2000, Clinton pardoned Vonna Jo Gregory, owner of the carnival company United Shows International, and her husband Edgar for a 1982 bank fraud conviction. After the pardon, the company gave Hillary’s brother Anthony Rodham $107,000 in "loans” that he has never repaid.
On his last day in office, Clinton pardoned his old friend Susan McDougal, who had already completed her sentence for her role in the Whitewater scandal.
Clinton also pardoned his brother Roger on drug charges, and former Housing secretary Henry Cisneros, who was convicted of lying to the FBI about payments to a mistress.
Clinton slashed the prison sentences of four men convicted of stealing millions in federal grants. The men were from a community of Hasidic Jews in New Square, N.Y., which voted 1,400 to 12 in favor of Hillary Clinton in her first Senate race.
Clinton also commuted the sentences – over the objections of the FBI and the U.S. Attorney’s Office – of 11 members of a Puerto Rican nationalist group that set off more than 100 bombs in the U.S. The large Puerto Rican community in New York City supports Democrats.
Late Nite Jokes
Letterman
Here’s how warm it was today in New York City. Out at Kennedy Airport, delayed JetBlue passengers were actually sitting on the wing.
It was so warm today, that mummified guy out on Long Island was sitting on his porch.
It was so warm today that Britney Spears checked into a Ben & Jerry’s.
The real test for that mummified guy comes on Sunday. We’ll see if he can make it through the Academy Awards.
Letterman's Top Ten
Top Ten Questions To Ask Yourself Before Eating Peanut Butter
10. "If I die, will I stick to the roof of the coffin?"
9. "Do I really want the word 'chunky' in my obituary?"
8. "How can I get salmonella when I didn't even order the salmon?"
7. "Is this what killed the mummified guy in Long Island?"
6. "Should I just stick with the tainted spinach?"
5. (No number 5 — writer sick from bad peanut butter)
4. "What would Britney do?"
3. "Does Smuckers make an antibiotic jelly?"
2. "What will my kids say when they learn their father was killed by Peter Pan?"
1. "How can I blame JetBlue for this?"
Conan
Jet Blue has apologized now for stranding thousands of passengers and today, Jet Blue's president introduced a passenger bill of rights. First on the list is "You have the right to fly Delta and United.”
The White House denied an assertion by Sen. Harry Reid that the Iraq war is the worst foreign policy mistake in U.S. history. The White House said, "You have to realize that President Bush has two more years in office.”
Earlier today, President Bush spoke on the phone with the prime minister of Australia. When the prime minister told him it was tomorrow in Australia, Bush's head exploded.
Ferguson
Presidential hopeful Barack Obama held a big fund raiser here last night. Everyone was there; Spielberg was there; Clooney was there; Anniston was there . . . I was unable to make it. I understand why a presidential hopeful would want Hollywood support. It’s crucial; you’re gonna need it. Let’s not forget Barbra Streisand almost single-handedly put President Kerry in the White House.
There’s a lot of buzz about Barack Obama. There was a lot of buzz about "Snakes in a Plane” as well.
Barack Obama has admitted smoking pot and doing cocaine. He’s admitted it! You’re gonna need a squeeky clean record to get elected. George W. Bush would never have been elected if he had ever done cocaine . . .
Kimmel
Today is Ash Wednesday. Yesterday was Fat Tuesday. Tomorrow is fat ashy elbow Thursday.
Britney Spears has apparently given up rehab for Lent.
Some good news on disgraced Rev. Ted Haggert. Remember this guy? He resigned after America learned that he bought methamphetamines and had a lot of gay sex with a male prostitute. Two weeks ago he announced he is no longer gay. There’s been a lot of skepticism about this. He silenced critics today with the release of an incredible video tape. [Excerpt from tape] "It’s Ted Haggert as you’ve never seen him before. Straight! Watch the reverend prove his heterosexuality in 90 minutes of hot steamy reverend-on-wife action with absolutely no gayness! Just as the Lord intended.”
Letterman
Here’s how warm it was today in New York City. Out at Kennedy Airport, delayed JetBlue passengers were actually sitting on the wing.
It was so warm today, that mummified guy out on Long Island was sitting on his porch.
It was so warm today that Britney Spears checked into a Ben & Jerry’s.
The real test for that mummified guy comes on Sunday. We’ll see if he can make it through the Academy Awards.
Letterman's Top Ten
Top Ten Questions To Ask Yourself Before Eating Peanut Butter
10. "If I die, will I stick to the roof of the coffin?"
9. "Do I really want the word 'chunky' in my obituary?"
8. "How can I get salmonella when I didn't even order the salmon?"
7. "Is this what killed the mummified guy in Long Island?"
6. "Should I just stick with the tainted spinach?"
5. (No number 5 — writer sick from bad peanut butter)
4. "What would Britney do?"
3. "Does Smuckers make an antibiotic jelly?"
2. "What will my kids say when they learn their father was killed by Peter Pan?"
1. "How can I blame JetBlue for this?"
Conan
Jet Blue has apologized now for stranding thousands of passengers and today, Jet Blue's president introduced a passenger bill of rights. First on the list is "You have the right to fly Delta and United.”
The White House denied an assertion by Sen. Harry Reid that the Iraq war is the worst foreign policy mistake in U.S. history. The White House said, "You have to realize that President Bush has two more years in office.”
Earlier today, President Bush spoke on the phone with the prime minister of Australia. When the prime minister told him it was tomorrow in Australia, Bush's head exploded.
Ferguson
Presidential hopeful Barack Obama held a big fund raiser here last night. Everyone was there; Spielberg was there; Clooney was there; Anniston was there . . . I was unable to make it. I understand why a presidential hopeful would want Hollywood support. It’s crucial; you’re gonna need it. Let’s not forget Barbra Streisand almost single-handedly put President Kerry in the White House.
There’s a lot of buzz about Barack Obama. There was a lot of buzz about "Snakes in a Plane” as well.
Barack Obama has admitted smoking pot and doing cocaine. He’s admitted it! You’re gonna need a squeeky clean record to get elected. George W. Bush would never have been elected if he had ever done cocaine . . .
Kimmel
Today is Ash Wednesday. Yesterday was Fat Tuesday. Tomorrow is fat ashy elbow Thursday.
Britney Spears has apparently given up rehab for Lent.
Some good news on disgraced Rev. Ted Haggert. Remember this guy? He resigned after America learned that he bought methamphetamines and had a lot of gay sex with a male prostitute. Two weeks ago he announced he is no longer gay. There’s been a lot of skepticism about this. He silenced critics today with the release of an incredible video tape. [Excerpt from tape] "It’s Ted Haggert as you’ve never seen him before. Straight! Watch the reverend prove his heterosexuality in 90 minutes of hot steamy reverend-on-wife action with absolutely no gayness! Just as the Lord intended.”
Wednesday, February 21, 2007
Hillary Furious at Hollywood
Hillary Clinton was reportedly "furious” at the three Hollywood moguls and Clinton "friends” who hosted Tuesday night’s fund-raiser for Democratic presidential candidate Barack Obama.
Three of the entertainment industry’s biggest names – DreamWorks studio founders Steven Spielberg, Jeffrey Katzenberg and David Geffen – hosted the private Beverly Hills fund-raiser for Sen. Obama, and checks from Hollywood’s A-list of stars – including George Clooney, Eddie Murphy and Barbra Streisand – added up to a one-night take of $1 million.
The New York Post, quoting a source, said Sen. Clinton "was furious at the three, who she thought were her friends, for supporting her rival.”
The source said that someone in Clinton’s office even called Geffen.
"They were very angry [the moguls] were holding this event. They calmed down after an assurance was made that there would still be support and money left over for [Clinton].”
A Clinton spokesperson denied that anyone spoke to Geffen. As NewsMax reported on Tuesday, "Obama’s display of celebrity sizzle and campaign dollars challenges any assumptions that Hollywood dollars would default to Sen. Hillary Clinton, who has longstanding ties to the industry, along with her husband.”
In a further slight to Hillary, Geffen told New York Times columnist Maureen Dowd that Republicans "believe she's the easiest to defeat."
"It's not a very big thing to say, 'I made a mistake' on the war, and typical of Hillary Clinton that she can't," Dowd quotes Geffen as saying.
When asked if Obama can stand up to "Clinton Inc.," Geffen replied: "I hope so, because that machine is going to be very unpleasant and unattractive and effective."
Hillary Clinton was reportedly "furious” at the three Hollywood moguls and Clinton "friends” who hosted Tuesday night’s fund-raiser for Democratic presidential candidate Barack Obama.
Three of the entertainment industry’s biggest names – DreamWorks studio founders Steven Spielberg, Jeffrey Katzenberg and David Geffen – hosted the private Beverly Hills fund-raiser for Sen. Obama, and checks from Hollywood’s A-list of stars – including George Clooney, Eddie Murphy and Barbra Streisand – added up to a one-night take of $1 million.
The New York Post, quoting a source, said Sen. Clinton "was furious at the three, who she thought were her friends, for supporting her rival.”
The source said that someone in Clinton’s office even called Geffen.
"They were very angry [the moguls] were holding this event. They calmed down after an assurance was made that there would still be support and money left over for [Clinton].”
A Clinton spokesperson denied that anyone spoke to Geffen. As NewsMax reported on Tuesday, "Obama’s display of celebrity sizzle and campaign dollars challenges any assumptions that Hollywood dollars would default to Sen. Hillary Clinton, who has longstanding ties to the industry, along with her husband.”
In a further slight to Hillary, Geffen told New York Times columnist Maureen Dowd that Republicans "believe she's the easiest to defeat."
"It's not a very big thing to say, 'I made a mistake' on the war, and typical of Hillary Clinton that she can't," Dowd quotes Geffen as saying.
When asked if Obama can stand up to "Clinton Inc.," Geffen replied: "I hope so, because that machine is going to be very unpleasant and unattractive and effective."
Late Nite Jokes
Leno
Well, the big story in the news is that Britney Spears shaved her head. Can you believe this? Legitimate news organizations are actually breaking into their Anna Nicole Smith coverage to tell you this.
Today in a Florida courtroom they held hearings for who will get possession of Anna Nicole Smith’s body. I think the judge is getting frustrated. He said if we can wrap this up quick, as a bonus, he’ll throw in James Brown’s body.
Hillary Clinton is being pressed on why she hasn’t apologized for voting in favor of the war in Iraq. This weekend, in reply to this, Hillary actually told voters who are upset about this "you have other choices.” Something, of course, Bill already knows.
This week marks the beginning of the Chinese year of the pig. So, guys, this is our year!
Letterman
This is a horrible story. This guy in Long Island is dead, and he’s been watching TV for a year, and the TV is still blaring away. The neighbors and friends first became suspicious when they realized he sat through an entire episode of Dr. Phil.
Do you have presidential fever? It’s not that far away, the 2008 presidential race. Today Mitt Romney, Mitt Romney, governor of Massachusetts and if he’s elected, the first president this country ‘s ever had named Mitt.. . . today, Mitt Romney was declared a safe alternative to Lunesta.
Here’s something ugly. In the year 2036, an asteroid’s gonna hit. The question President Bush has been asking himself all day is, "Where is Superman?”
Conan
Michael Jackson is reportedly upset because he was unable to get tickets to the NBA All-Star Game. However, Michael felt better about missing the game after someone explained to him that Jason Kidd is actually a grown man.
One of the male contestants on "American Idol" is being criticized because he once posed nude for a magazine. Meanwhile, Paula Abdul is being criticized because she once posed nude for a shot of Jager.
This weekend President Bush gave a speech honoring Abraham Lincoln's birthday. There was an awkward moment when Bush referred to Lincoln as "the guy who invented the penny."
Ferguson
The presidential race is heating up. Hillary Clinton . . . if she gets elected some Democrats want Bill Clinton appointed to her Senate seat. I don’t think it’ll happen because when’s the last time Bill’s been interested in Hillary’s seat?
There’s an asteroid heading toward the earth and we’re all going to die. There is! Scientists are saying there’s a 1 in 45,000 chance of an asteroid hitting the earth in 2036 . . . It sounds like that movie "Armageddon” with Bruce Willis and Ben Affleck. This is what we should do. We’ll send Ben Affleck and Bruce Willis to blow up the asteroid. Even if they fail, at least they’re gone!
The asteroid is a giant rock. It’s headed toward the earth. We should send up a giant piece of paper. We couldn’t send scissors; that would be impractical.
Kimmel
Britney has checked herself into rehab. She was driven there last night around midnight by her 18-month-old son Sean Preston.
The Anna Nicole Smith hearings continue in Florida. The judge is a real character. He seemed suspicious today of Anna’s former lawyer/lover, who knows what he is, Howard K. Stern and his relationship with the baby that he claims is his so, he asked the guy to write his alleged daughter’s name on an easel . It’s very interesting. Take a look: [Video of what Howard K. Stern wrote on the easel] "$5 million.”
Bad news for President Bush. You know he wants us to stay the course, but even our closest ally is saying no. Prime Minister Tony Blair today announced the withdrawal of 1,500 British troops and says that more than half could be pulled by the summer. Coincidentally the announcement comes the day after Prince Harry volunteered to go fight over in Iraq. Maybe that’s how to get our troops out, we send Billy Bush to Iraq!
Leno
Well, the big story in the news is that Britney Spears shaved her head. Can you believe this? Legitimate news organizations are actually breaking into their Anna Nicole Smith coverage to tell you this.
Today in a Florida courtroom they held hearings for who will get possession of Anna Nicole Smith’s body. I think the judge is getting frustrated. He said if we can wrap this up quick, as a bonus, he’ll throw in James Brown’s body.
Hillary Clinton is being pressed on why she hasn’t apologized for voting in favor of the war in Iraq. This weekend, in reply to this, Hillary actually told voters who are upset about this "you have other choices.” Something, of course, Bill already knows.
This week marks the beginning of the Chinese year of the pig. So, guys, this is our year!
Letterman
This is a horrible story. This guy in Long Island is dead, and he’s been watching TV for a year, and the TV is still blaring away. The neighbors and friends first became suspicious when they realized he sat through an entire episode of Dr. Phil.
Do you have presidential fever? It’s not that far away, the 2008 presidential race. Today Mitt Romney, Mitt Romney, governor of Massachusetts and if he’s elected, the first president this country ‘s ever had named Mitt.. . . today, Mitt Romney was declared a safe alternative to Lunesta.
Here’s something ugly. In the year 2036, an asteroid’s gonna hit. The question President Bush has been asking himself all day is, "Where is Superman?”
Conan
Michael Jackson is reportedly upset because he was unable to get tickets to the NBA All-Star Game. However, Michael felt better about missing the game after someone explained to him that Jason Kidd is actually a grown man.
One of the male contestants on "American Idol" is being criticized because he once posed nude for a magazine. Meanwhile, Paula Abdul is being criticized because she once posed nude for a shot of Jager.
This weekend President Bush gave a speech honoring Abraham Lincoln's birthday. There was an awkward moment when Bush referred to Lincoln as "the guy who invented the penny."
Ferguson
The presidential race is heating up. Hillary Clinton . . . if she gets elected some Democrats want Bill Clinton appointed to her Senate seat. I don’t think it’ll happen because when’s the last time Bill’s been interested in Hillary’s seat?
There’s an asteroid heading toward the earth and we’re all going to die. There is! Scientists are saying there’s a 1 in 45,000 chance of an asteroid hitting the earth in 2036 . . . It sounds like that movie "Armageddon” with Bruce Willis and Ben Affleck. This is what we should do. We’ll send Ben Affleck and Bruce Willis to blow up the asteroid. Even if they fail, at least they’re gone!
The asteroid is a giant rock. It’s headed toward the earth. We should send up a giant piece of paper. We couldn’t send scissors; that would be impractical.
Kimmel
Britney has checked herself into rehab. She was driven there last night around midnight by her 18-month-old son Sean Preston.
The Anna Nicole Smith hearings continue in Florida. The judge is a real character. He seemed suspicious today of Anna’s former lawyer/lover, who knows what he is, Howard K. Stern and his relationship with the baby that he claims is his so, he asked the guy to write his alleged daughter’s name on an easel . It’s very interesting. Take a look: [Video of what Howard K. Stern wrote on the easel] "$5 million.”
Bad news for President Bush. You know he wants us to stay the course, but even our closest ally is saying no. Prime Minister Tony Blair today announced the withdrawal of 1,500 British troops and says that more than half could be pulled by the summer. Coincidentally the announcement comes the day after Prince Harry volunteered to go fight over in Iraq. Maybe that’s how to get our troops out, we send Billy Bush to Iraq!
Tuesday, February 20, 2007
Iraq Debate a 'Disservice' to Troops
Rep. Duncan Hunter said Congress has wasted time debating an increase in U.S. troops in Baghdad because the 82nd Airborne is already executing the plan.
Hunter, a California Republican, said the debate about the escalation is misguided and insults the troops in the field.
"The idea that Congress pulls the rug out from under the soldiers as they're actually carrying the mission out, by condemning this mission . . . I thought it was a disservice to our soldiers. There is a right way to leave Iraq and that is to continue to rotate Iraqi battalions that we've trained and equipped into the fight."
Hunter visited first-in-the-nation primary state as part of his campaign for the party's presidential nomination. The former chairman of the House Armed Services Committee said he would focus on a strong national defense and a self-described conservative message.
"I don't have to hire consultant to develop a conservative image because I am a conservative," Hunter said.
He stopped in Concord to meet with state party officials and then planned stops with Dartmouth College Republicans, state Republican legislators and a gun rights group. Throughout his two-day trip, he planned to talk with voters about the growing threat of China.
"Not only do we have a bad trade deal with China but they're cheating on the one we do have," Hunter said. "China is cheating on trade and they're using our trade dollars to buy ships, planes and missiles. They're becoming a super power and stepping into the shoes of the Soviet Union."
He also promoted the anti-immigration fence along the southern U.S. border, an idea Hunter has sought for decades.
"If you want to start coming to America, you're going to have to start knocking on the front door," he said. "That fence is going to be up, that back door is going to be closed."
Hunter, first elected to Congress in 1980, has anemic poll numbers in New Hampshire. A statewide poll released this month shows 68 percent of likely GOP primary voters don't know him.
Rep. Duncan Hunter said Congress has wasted time debating an increase in U.S. troops in Baghdad because the 82nd Airborne is already executing the plan.
Hunter, a California Republican, said the debate about the escalation is misguided and insults the troops in the field.
"The idea that Congress pulls the rug out from under the soldiers as they're actually carrying the mission out, by condemning this mission . . . I thought it was a disservice to our soldiers. There is a right way to leave Iraq and that is to continue to rotate Iraqi battalions that we've trained and equipped into the fight."
Hunter visited first-in-the-nation primary state as part of his campaign for the party's presidential nomination. The former chairman of the House Armed Services Committee said he would focus on a strong national defense and a self-described conservative message.
"I don't have to hire consultant to develop a conservative image because I am a conservative," Hunter said.
He stopped in Concord to meet with state party officials and then planned stops with Dartmouth College Republicans, state Republican legislators and a gun rights group. Throughout his two-day trip, he planned to talk with voters about the growing threat of China.
"Not only do we have a bad trade deal with China but they're cheating on the one we do have," Hunter said. "China is cheating on trade and they're using our trade dollars to buy ships, planes and missiles. They're becoming a super power and stepping into the shoes of the Soviet Union."
He also promoted the anti-immigration fence along the southern U.S. border, an idea Hunter has sought for decades.
"If you want to start coming to America, you're going to have to start knocking on the front door," he said. "That fence is going to be up, that back door is going to be closed."
Hunter, first elected to Congress in 1980, has anemic poll numbers in New Hampshire. A statewide poll released this month shows 68 percent of likely GOP primary voters don't know him.
Late Nite Jokes
Conan
The latest political rumor is that if Hillary Clinton wins the presidency, she will be replaced in the Senate by her husband Bill Clinton. When asked about it, Bill Clinton said, "I dream of replacing Hillary every day."
Today, for the first time ever, New Jersey allowed homosexuals to enter into civil unions. Now they just have to find a homosexual who will admit to living in New Jersey.
Over the weekend, Britney Spears got two tattoos and shaved her head. The amazing thing is, it's the most motherly thing she's done in weeks.
The NBA All-Star Game was in Las Vegas this weekend and there were over 300 related arrests that ranged from outstanding warrants, battery, burglary, and disorderly conduct. City officials said, "We can't have this kind of lawless behavior disrupting our city's gamblers, pimps, and prostitutes."
Leno
Today is President’s Day … or for those of you in California, el Presidente Day!
Today is the day we honor presidents ranging from George Washington, who couldn’t tell a lie, to George Bush, who couldn’t tell the truth, to Bill Clinton, who couldn’t tell the difference.
Congress is now trying to pass a bill that would require health insurers to cover more costs for the mentally ill. Once again, Congress looking out for themselves. So typical!
Did you see this story in the paper today? A woman in Florida just got her electricity turned back on after Hurricane Andrew cut her power off in 1992. Or as Fema calls that, "a job well done!”
Letterman
It was so cold today that that mummified guy out in Long Island got up and turned on the space heater.
There’s a guy in Long Island who’s watching television and he drops dead and he sits there in his apartment watching television for a year dead. And the TV is still going strong. And the sad thing about all of this is, CBS lost another viewer.
It was so cold Britney Spears had chapped head.
Here’s the thing about show business. It’s so competitive. You ever notice this about show business? Competitive and envious. One day Britney Spears gets her head shaved . Not to be out done, today Rosie O’Donnell shaved her back.
Ferguson
When I was in rehab, it wasn’t like the rehabs portrayed by the news outlets with the Lindsay Lohans and fabulous people. My roommate was a 65-year-old vicar — a priest, who said, "An old lady said that there was a hobo sleeping in the church graveyard. I had to pretend to go look for him, but it was me!”
I have been sober for 15 years. I don’t have a drinking problem. I can get one fast, but I don’t have a drinking problem. I have a thinking problem. Last week I found out that Guinness has 125 calories a point. Without a wink of an eye, I’m thinking maybe I should go on a diet. With 125 calories, what could possibly go wrong?
It looks like Britney Spears has a similar problem with alcohol. It’s embarrassing to admit you’re an alcoholic. It’s embarrassing to wake up in pee . . .yours or someone else’s.
Kimmel
It so beautiful in Los Angeles today. A little sprinkling of rain, the seasons are changing; I saw some kids on my street today jumping in a big pile of Britney Spears’ hair.
She’s shaved everything else, she might as well . . . maybe she’s planning on going to Iraq, or joining the Blue Man Group.
After she cut her hair off, there were a few people online trying to sell it, and bids went up to like $5,000 before the auctions were canceled, by eBay. I guess it’s illegal to sell celebrity hair ever since Luke Perry tried to sell his sideburns for pot.
Conan
The latest political rumor is that if Hillary Clinton wins the presidency, she will be replaced in the Senate by her husband Bill Clinton. When asked about it, Bill Clinton said, "I dream of replacing Hillary every day."
Today, for the first time ever, New Jersey allowed homosexuals to enter into civil unions. Now they just have to find a homosexual who will admit to living in New Jersey.
Over the weekend, Britney Spears got two tattoos and shaved her head. The amazing thing is, it's the most motherly thing she's done in weeks.
The NBA All-Star Game was in Las Vegas this weekend and there were over 300 related arrests that ranged from outstanding warrants, battery, burglary, and disorderly conduct. City officials said, "We can't have this kind of lawless behavior disrupting our city's gamblers, pimps, and prostitutes."
Leno
Today is President’s Day … or for those of you in California, el Presidente Day!
Today is the day we honor presidents ranging from George Washington, who couldn’t tell a lie, to George Bush, who couldn’t tell the truth, to Bill Clinton, who couldn’t tell the difference.
Congress is now trying to pass a bill that would require health insurers to cover more costs for the mentally ill. Once again, Congress looking out for themselves. So typical!
Did you see this story in the paper today? A woman in Florida just got her electricity turned back on after Hurricane Andrew cut her power off in 1992. Or as Fema calls that, "a job well done!”
Letterman
It was so cold today that that mummified guy out in Long Island got up and turned on the space heater.
There’s a guy in Long Island who’s watching television and he drops dead and he sits there in his apartment watching television for a year dead. And the TV is still going strong. And the sad thing about all of this is, CBS lost another viewer.
It was so cold Britney Spears had chapped head.
Here’s the thing about show business. It’s so competitive. You ever notice this about show business? Competitive and envious. One day Britney Spears gets her head shaved . Not to be out done, today Rosie O’Donnell shaved her back.
Ferguson
When I was in rehab, it wasn’t like the rehabs portrayed by the news outlets with the Lindsay Lohans and fabulous people. My roommate was a 65-year-old vicar — a priest, who said, "An old lady said that there was a hobo sleeping in the church graveyard. I had to pretend to go look for him, but it was me!”
I have been sober for 15 years. I don’t have a drinking problem. I can get one fast, but I don’t have a drinking problem. I have a thinking problem. Last week I found out that Guinness has 125 calories a point. Without a wink of an eye, I’m thinking maybe I should go on a diet. With 125 calories, what could possibly go wrong?
It looks like Britney Spears has a similar problem with alcohol. It’s embarrassing to admit you’re an alcoholic. It’s embarrassing to wake up in pee . . .yours or someone else’s.
Kimmel
It so beautiful in Los Angeles today. A little sprinkling of rain, the seasons are changing; I saw some kids on my street today jumping in a big pile of Britney Spears’ hair.
She’s shaved everything else, she might as well . . . maybe she’s planning on going to Iraq, or joining the Blue Man Group.
After she cut her hair off, there were a few people online trying to sell it, and bids went up to like $5,000 before the auctions were canceled, by eBay. I guess it’s illegal to sell celebrity hair ever since Luke Perry tried to sell his sideburns for pot.
Monday, February 19, 2007
Soros: America Must 'De-Nazify' Itself
The New York Post slammed billionaire George Soros on Sunday, saying "the Democrats' favorite financial fat-cat clearly isn't feeling comfortable unless he's comparing the United States to Nazi Germany."
In an editorial headlined "Soros' Latest Slur," the Post repeated Soros' remarks to a group of reporters in which he stated that the United States needed to admit it had made a mistake in waging war in Iraq and then drum out the responsible individuals.
"America needs to follow the policies it has introduced in Germany," Soros said. "We have to go through a certain de-Nazification process."
The Post hit back at the hedge-fund billionaire in its editorial, saying: "The message is unmistakable: America, says Soros, is the functional equivalent of Nazi Germany...
"Question is, how long will the Democrats keep taking Soros' money and ignoring the fact that he's gone way off the deep end?"
The New York Post slammed billionaire George Soros on Sunday, saying "the Democrats' favorite financial fat-cat clearly isn't feeling comfortable unless he's comparing the United States to Nazi Germany."
In an editorial headlined "Soros' Latest Slur," the Post repeated Soros' remarks to a group of reporters in which he stated that the United States needed to admit it had made a mistake in waging war in Iraq and then drum out the responsible individuals.
"America needs to follow the policies it has introduced in Germany," Soros said. "We have to go through a certain de-Nazification process."
The Post hit back at the hedge-fund billionaire in its editorial, saying: "The message is unmistakable: America, says Soros, is the functional equivalent of Nazi Germany...
"Question is, how long will the Democrats keep taking Soros' money and ignoring the fact that he's gone way off the deep end?"
Sunday, February 18, 2007
Hillary Clinton Buying Black Vote for $200,000
NewsMax - The press reported on Tuesday that Sen. Hillary Clinton had scored a coup in the presidential race by winning the endorsement of a key black political leader in South Carolina, state Sen. Darrell Jackson.
Now it has come to light that just days earlier, Clinton’s campaign reached a deal to pay Jackson’s consulting firm $10,000 a month through the 2008 elections – a deal worth more than $200,000.
"Jackson had also been in talks with Sen. Barack Obama’s campaign about endorsing him and entering into a consulting contract for more than $5,000, sources said – raising questions about whether Jackson’s endorsement was bought by a higher bidder,” the New York Post reported.
Jackson – who is also the minister of a large church in the state capital, Columbia – acknowledged that he should have revealed his financial dealings with the Clinton campaign when he and fellow state Sen. Robert Ford, who is also African-American, endorsed Clinton.
But he told the Post: "It’s not about the money – there were some other candidates who offered to double [Clinton’s] offer,” Jackson told the Post, although he declined to name them.
Support from black voters is key in South Carolina, where 49 percent of the Democratic presidential primary vote came from blacks in 2004. The state will host the first Southern primaries for both the Democrats and the GOP in 2008.
NewsMax - The press reported on Tuesday that Sen. Hillary Clinton had scored a coup in the presidential race by winning the endorsement of a key black political leader in South Carolina, state Sen. Darrell Jackson.
Now it has come to light that just days earlier, Clinton’s campaign reached a deal to pay Jackson’s consulting firm $10,000 a month through the 2008 elections – a deal worth more than $200,000.
"Jackson had also been in talks with Sen. Barack Obama’s campaign about endorsing him and entering into a consulting contract for more than $5,000, sources said – raising questions about whether Jackson’s endorsement was bought by a higher bidder,” the New York Post reported.
Jackson – who is also the minister of a large church in the state capital, Columbia – acknowledged that he should have revealed his financial dealings with the Clinton campaign when he and fellow state Sen. Robert Ford, who is also African-American, endorsed Clinton.
But he told the Post: "It’s not about the money – there were some other candidates who offered to double [Clinton’s] offer,” Jackson told the Post, although he declined to name them.
Support from black voters is key in South Carolina, where 49 percent of the Democratic presidential primary vote came from blacks in 2004. The state will host the first Southern primaries for both the Democrats and the GOP in 2008.
Saturday, February 17, 2007
No McCain, Say Arizonans
Sen. John McCain won 76 percent of the vote when he ran for re-election in 2004. But he's having a hard time winning over conservative Republicans in his home state as he eyes a run for the presidency.
"I think those who do not support Senator McCain, if they could just get the word out and help people to understand what has happened with him, we could have an impact," Lyle Tuttle, chairman of the Maricopa County Republican Committee, told the New York Times.
In fact, to express his disdain for Arizona's senior U.S. senator, Tuttle sometimes wears a button that shows McCain's name with a bold black line slashed through it.
According to the Times, a recent Arizona State University poll found that only 54 percent of the state’s Republican voters indicated that they would support McCain in the Arizona primary in February 2008.
Numbers like that could spell trouble for McCain, whose critics have slammed him for his stances on immigration, gay marriage, and campaign finance reform. Those critics are giving early -- and vocal -- support to other candidates.
"They can make trouble for him,” Bruce D. Merrill, an Arizona State University political scientist and polling expert, told the Times. "It is too early in terms of voting to tell, but it certainly could potentially affect people’s decision to give him money.”
McCain is trying to improve his standing with conservative Republican voters, though. According to The Associated Press, he will speak Sunday night to about 1,500 middle and high school students in South Carolina, encouraging them to abstain from premartical sex.
"Senator McCain has a long legislative record of supporting abstinence-based initiatives in his record in the U.S. Senate," Trey Walker, McCain's South Carolina campaign director, told the AP. "He thinks that abstinence is healthier and should be promoted in our society for young people."
Sen. John McCain won 76 percent of the vote when he ran for re-election in 2004. But he's having a hard time winning over conservative Republicans in his home state as he eyes a run for the presidency.
"I think those who do not support Senator McCain, if they could just get the word out and help people to understand what has happened with him, we could have an impact," Lyle Tuttle, chairman of the Maricopa County Republican Committee, told the New York Times.
In fact, to express his disdain for Arizona's senior U.S. senator, Tuttle sometimes wears a button that shows McCain's name with a bold black line slashed through it.
According to the Times, a recent Arizona State University poll found that only 54 percent of the state’s Republican voters indicated that they would support McCain in the Arizona primary in February 2008.
Numbers like that could spell trouble for McCain, whose critics have slammed him for his stances on immigration, gay marriage, and campaign finance reform. Those critics are giving early -- and vocal -- support to other candidates.
"They can make trouble for him,” Bruce D. Merrill, an Arizona State University political scientist and polling expert, told the Times. "It is too early in terms of voting to tell, but it certainly could potentially affect people’s decision to give him money.”
McCain is trying to improve his standing with conservative Republican voters, though. According to The Associated Press, he will speak Sunday night to about 1,500 middle and high school students in South Carolina, encouraging them to abstain from premartical sex.
"Senator McCain has a long legislative record of supporting abstinence-based initiatives in his record in the U.S. Senate," Trey Walker, McCain's South Carolina campaign director, told the AP. "He thinks that abstinence is healthier and should be promoted in our society for young people."
Friday, February 16, 2007
Late Nite Jokes
Letterman's Top Ten
Top Ten JetBlue Excuses
10. 10-hour delay? Hey, that's actually pretty good for us
9. It could have been worse . . . No, wait, it couldn't
8. We don't have an excuse right now, but sit here for ten hours while we come up with one
7. Hey, it takes that long to open a bag of airline peanuts, am I right, ladies and gentleman?
6. You gotta admit, after 6 hours, it became a little funny
5. It's still better than flying Delta
4. There was a monster on the wing!!!
3. (No number 3 — writer still stuck on the plane)
2. Who could leave New York in the middle of Ventriloquist Week?
1. Pilots too drunk to fly
Leno
Presidential candidate Tom Vilsack . . . not a lot of name recognition. I don’t want to say that Tom is unknown, but his secret service codename is Tom Vilsack.
Be honest. Before you came here today, how many had heard the name Vilsack? How many thought it was a pickle?
Al-Qaida released another video tape from their No. 2 man. This one had a shocking revelation: "The great Satan will soon taste unspeakable suffering from our hands . . . Oh, and by the way, I am the father of Anna Nicole’s baby.”
Not to make light of this poor woman’s death. Now Anna Nicole Smith’s bodyguard is the fifth person to claim he might be the father. With five people claiming to be the father, I don’t think he was a very good bodyguard.
Letterman
It’s cold again today. It’s so cold Hillary Clinton changed her pantsuit for a snow suit.
It’s so cold New York Nicks fans stayed for a whole game.
It’s so cold passengers didn’t want to get off their JetBlue airplane.
I don’t even know why I try. My Valentine’s dinner was very embarrassing. My date, after dinner, went around the bar handing out her card.
Ferguson
A great day for America, not such a great day for NASCAR. A bunch of drivers have been fined for putting jet fuel in their cars. That’s the equivalent of steroids in NASCAR. It’s very easy to tell which cars are on these steroids. They’re the ones with the shrunken ball bearings.
Not a good day if you’re a JetBlue passenger either. The passenger were stuck on this plane for 10 hours. It must have been awful. Smelly, cramped space with hundreds of people trying to get out. That’s terrible! That’s like last night’s audience in here.
I was reading about this self help book, "The Secret,” written by an Australian reality producer. Who knows more about spiritual principles than an Australian reality TV producer? One fan of the book said it stopped her panic attacks and doubled her acupuncture business. I’m thinking, "Who’s going to go see a panicky acupuncturist?”
Kimmel
It’s hard to believe the No. 1 story, bigger than Iraq, Iran, the social life of Britney Spears, is still Anna Nicole Smith. CNN has officially changed their name this week to CN-Anna.
The list of potential fathers for Anna’s 5-month-old baby girl continues to grow. Howard K. Stern the lawyer, her ex-boyfriend, this guy Larry Burkhead . . . her former bodyguard, Zsa Zsa Gabor’s husband . . . Maury Povich really is going to have his work cut pout for him.
And you can never totally rule Kevin Federline out.
A former athlete, retired basketball player Tim Hardaway, has been banned from all future NBA related appearances after announcing that he hates gay people. Surprising talk coming from a player known for his ball handling.
Letterman's Top Ten
Top Ten JetBlue Excuses
10. 10-hour delay? Hey, that's actually pretty good for us
9. It could have been worse . . . No, wait, it couldn't
8. We don't have an excuse right now, but sit here for ten hours while we come up with one
7. Hey, it takes that long to open a bag of airline peanuts, am I right, ladies and gentleman?
6. You gotta admit, after 6 hours, it became a little funny
5. It's still better than flying Delta
4. There was a monster on the wing!!!
3. (No number 3 — writer still stuck on the plane)
2. Who could leave New York in the middle of Ventriloquist Week?
1. Pilots too drunk to fly
Leno
Presidential candidate Tom Vilsack . . . not a lot of name recognition. I don’t want to say that Tom is unknown, but his secret service codename is Tom Vilsack.
Be honest. Before you came here today, how many had heard the name Vilsack? How many thought it was a pickle?
Al-Qaida released another video tape from their No. 2 man. This one had a shocking revelation: "The great Satan will soon taste unspeakable suffering from our hands . . . Oh, and by the way, I am the father of Anna Nicole’s baby.”
Not to make light of this poor woman’s death. Now Anna Nicole Smith’s bodyguard is the fifth person to claim he might be the father. With five people claiming to be the father, I don’t think he was a very good bodyguard.
Letterman
It’s cold again today. It’s so cold Hillary Clinton changed her pantsuit for a snow suit.
It’s so cold New York Nicks fans stayed for a whole game.
It’s so cold passengers didn’t want to get off their JetBlue airplane.
I don’t even know why I try. My Valentine’s dinner was very embarrassing. My date, after dinner, went around the bar handing out her card.
Ferguson
A great day for America, not such a great day for NASCAR. A bunch of drivers have been fined for putting jet fuel in their cars. That’s the equivalent of steroids in NASCAR. It’s very easy to tell which cars are on these steroids. They’re the ones with the shrunken ball bearings.
Not a good day if you’re a JetBlue passenger either. The passenger were stuck on this plane for 10 hours. It must have been awful. Smelly, cramped space with hundreds of people trying to get out. That’s terrible! That’s like last night’s audience in here.
I was reading about this self help book, "The Secret,” written by an Australian reality producer. Who knows more about spiritual principles than an Australian reality TV producer? One fan of the book said it stopped her panic attacks and doubled her acupuncture business. I’m thinking, "Who’s going to go see a panicky acupuncturist?”
Kimmel
It’s hard to believe the No. 1 story, bigger than Iraq, Iran, the social life of Britney Spears, is still Anna Nicole Smith. CNN has officially changed their name this week to CN-Anna.
The list of potential fathers for Anna’s 5-month-old baby girl continues to grow. Howard K. Stern the lawyer, her ex-boyfriend, this guy Larry Burkhead . . . her former bodyguard, Zsa Zsa Gabor’s husband . . . Maury Povich really is going to have his work cut pout for him.
And you can never totally rule Kevin Federline out.
A former athlete, retired basketball player Tim Hardaway, has been banned from all future NBA related appearances after announcing that he hates gay people. Surprising talk coming from a player known for his ball handling.
Thursday, February 15, 2007
Al-Zawahri Tape: Democrats Will 'Change Nothing'
Al-Qaida's No. 2, Ayman al-Zawahri, called for Muslim unity and said American elections that gave Democrats control of Congress would not change U.S. policy in Iraq, in a new audiotape released Tuesday by a U.S. group that tracks extremist messages.
The Washington-based SITE Institute released a transcript of the audio, which it said it had intercepted from Islamic militant Web sites where his messages are usually posted.
The Associated Press could not immediately find the audiotape independently, but found messages on a number of them that said an al-Zawahri tape was expected to be aired shortly.
SITE said the multimedia arm of al-Qaida, as-Sahab, claimed to have produced the 41-minute audiotape.
On the tape, al-Zawahri said recent congressional elections in the United States that elected a majority of Democrats would change nothing.
"The people chose you due to your opposition to Bush's policy in Iraq, but it appears that you are marching with him to the same abyss," al-Zawahri told the Democrats according to the transcript.
It was the forth message by Osama bin Laden's deputy since the beginning of the year. The last was on Jan. 22, when he mocked President Bush's plan to send an additional 21,000 troops to Iraq.
Al-Zawahri called what he described as Bush' failure in Iraq and the growing Taliban resistance in Afghanistan the "most important events" of the past year. He also said that "the people cooperating with the United States in Afghanistan and in Iraq would be abandoned by the Americans once they fail, the same way they did in Vietnam."
The al-Qaida leader also threatened that countries allied to the United states in the region "must reap their bitter harvest," and specifically named Egypt, Jordan and Saudi Arabia.
He called on all Muslims to strive for unity, "even if they are Afghans, Persians, Turks or Kurds."
Al-Qaida's No. 2, Ayman al-Zawahri, called for Muslim unity and said American elections that gave Democrats control of Congress would not change U.S. policy in Iraq, in a new audiotape released Tuesday by a U.S. group that tracks extremist messages.
The Washington-based SITE Institute released a transcript of the audio, which it said it had intercepted from Islamic militant Web sites where his messages are usually posted.
The Associated Press could not immediately find the audiotape independently, but found messages on a number of them that said an al-Zawahri tape was expected to be aired shortly.
SITE said the multimedia arm of al-Qaida, as-Sahab, claimed to have produced the 41-minute audiotape.
On the tape, al-Zawahri said recent congressional elections in the United States that elected a majority of Democrats would change nothing.
"The people chose you due to your opposition to Bush's policy in Iraq, but it appears that you are marching with him to the same abyss," al-Zawahri told the Democrats according to the transcript.
It was the forth message by Osama bin Laden's deputy since the beginning of the year. The last was on Jan. 22, when he mocked President Bush's plan to send an additional 21,000 troops to Iraq.
Al-Zawahri called what he described as Bush' failure in Iraq and the growing Taliban resistance in Afghanistan the "most important events" of the past year. He also said that "the people cooperating with the United States in Afghanistan and in Iraq would be abandoned by the Americans once they fail, the same way they did in Vietnam."
The al-Qaida leader also threatened that countries allied to the United states in the region "must reap their bitter harvest," and specifically named Egypt, Jordan and Saudi Arabia.
He called on all Muslims to strive for unity, "even if they are Afghans, Persians, Turks or Kurds."
Late Nite Jokes
Letterman's Top Ten
Top Ten Things You Don't Want To Hear On Valentine's Day
10."Ted, meet Carl - he's going to be joining us this evening"
9. "I got us two tickets to 'Norbit' "
8. "Don't hang up, directory assistance lady -- you're my Valentine!"
7. "There's a diaper-wearing astronaut at the door for you"
6. "If you want to cuddle afterward, it's another $50"
5. "Valentine's Day is on the 14th this year?"
4. "I got you the smallest box of chocolates because frankly, you're too damn tubby"
3. "We'll do something in a couple of days - it's Late Show Ventriloquist Week"
2. "I picked these flowers up at the cemetary"
1. "Table for one, Mr. Letterman!"
Leno
Valentine’s Day is the day you should be with the person you love the most. I understand Simon Cowell spent the day alone.
This doctor said that it’s not a good idea to give chocolate to a girl with PMS, because it makes the condition worse. On the other hand, it’s even more dangerous trying to take chocolate away from a woman with PMS.
The FAA very close now to raising the retirement age of pilots. That means pretty soon astronauts and pilots will be wearing diapers.
In Northern Japan, fast food restaurants are now serving whale burgers. Whale burgers. As opposed to here in America where we serve whales burgers.
Letterman
Lotta snow here in New York. I was walking though Times Square today, and I saw a tourist shoveling a path to a hooker.
It was so cold Rosie O’Donnell started a feud with Punxsutawney Phil.
Michael Jackson has introduced his own line of Valentine’s candy. It’s tremendous. It’s white chocolate with a nut inside.
Conan
Happy Valentine’s Day! New York’s health commissioner marked Valentine’s Day by unveiling a new line of New York City condoms. The New York condoms come in two sizes: Empire State Building and Little Italy.
The White Castle hamburger chain is offering couples a romantic Valentine’s Day dinner. White Castle says it’s the perfect way to tell that special someone your love is worth $3.99.
Starting today, Britain became the first country in Europe to sell Viagra over the counter. However, British citizens will still need a prescription to purchase toothpaste or floss.
Ferguson
It’s Valentine’s Day; so if you’re up watching me, something’s gone terrible wrong and I’m sorry.
The Westminster Dog Show crowned a new champion. The name of the dog is James. He’s a 6-year-old Springer Spaniel. I’m not sure what a Springer Spaniel is . . . I think it’s a cross between a cocker spaniel and Jerry Springer.
Now that it's done this, it is retiring . . . it plans to spend the rest of its days doing nothing, lying around breeding with bitches. Kinda like the dog is now K-Fed.
In schools now, all the kids have to give Valentines to all the other kids so nobody feels left out. I don’t get that. You’re just delaying the disappointment to later in life.
Kimmel
The new Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue came out today. Some people are upset that Beyonce is on the cover because she has nothing to do with sports. What was Heidi Klum, power forward for the Atlanta Hawks?
Anna Nicole Smith passed away over the weekend. It hasn’t gotten so much attention which is surprising. Actually it’s been getting more attention than James Brown, President Ford, and Barbaro combined. Five different guys are rumored to be the father of her child. One of them has been dead for like 15 years, one of them is a prince married to Zsa Zsa Gabor . . . seriously!
They published photographs of the inside of this woman’s refrigerator. There were prescription drugs in there and about six cans of SlimFast. You know Anna Nicole did commercials for Trim Spa. The man who runs Trim Spa said, "I was pretty shocked and concerned. I questioned Howard about it. Howard said absolutely she never took Slim Fast.” Oh well, thank God. Given that your spokesmodel just died of unknown causes, wouldn’t it maybe be a good thing if she wasn’t using your products?
Letterman's Top Ten
Top Ten Things You Don't Want To Hear On Valentine's Day
10."Ted, meet Carl - he's going to be joining us this evening"
9. "I got us two tickets to 'Norbit' "
8. "Don't hang up, directory assistance lady -- you're my Valentine!"
7. "There's a diaper-wearing astronaut at the door for you"
6. "If you want to cuddle afterward, it's another $50"
5. "Valentine's Day is on the 14th this year?"
4. "I got you the smallest box of chocolates because frankly, you're too damn tubby"
3. "We'll do something in a couple of days - it's Late Show Ventriloquist Week"
2. "I picked these flowers up at the cemetary"
1. "Table for one, Mr. Letterman!"
Leno
Valentine’s Day is the day you should be with the person you love the most. I understand Simon Cowell spent the day alone.
This doctor said that it’s not a good idea to give chocolate to a girl with PMS, because it makes the condition worse. On the other hand, it’s even more dangerous trying to take chocolate away from a woman with PMS.
The FAA very close now to raising the retirement age of pilots. That means pretty soon astronauts and pilots will be wearing diapers.
In Northern Japan, fast food restaurants are now serving whale burgers. Whale burgers. As opposed to here in America where we serve whales burgers.
Letterman
Lotta snow here in New York. I was walking though Times Square today, and I saw a tourist shoveling a path to a hooker.
It was so cold Rosie O’Donnell started a feud with Punxsutawney Phil.
Michael Jackson has introduced his own line of Valentine’s candy. It’s tremendous. It’s white chocolate with a nut inside.
Conan
Happy Valentine’s Day! New York’s health commissioner marked Valentine’s Day by unveiling a new line of New York City condoms. The New York condoms come in two sizes: Empire State Building and Little Italy.
The White Castle hamburger chain is offering couples a romantic Valentine’s Day dinner. White Castle says it’s the perfect way to tell that special someone your love is worth $3.99.
Starting today, Britain became the first country in Europe to sell Viagra over the counter. However, British citizens will still need a prescription to purchase toothpaste or floss.
Ferguson
It’s Valentine’s Day; so if you’re up watching me, something’s gone terrible wrong and I’m sorry.
The Westminster Dog Show crowned a new champion. The name of the dog is James. He’s a 6-year-old Springer Spaniel. I’m not sure what a Springer Spaniel is . . . I think it’s a cross between a cocker spaniel and Jerry Springer.
Now that it's done this, it is retiring . . . it plans to spend the rest of its days doing nothing, lying around breeding with bitches. Kinda like the dog is now K-Fed.
In schools now, all the kids have to give Valentines to all the other kids so nobody feels left out. I don’t get that. You’re just delaying the disappointment to later in life.
Kimmel
The new Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue came out today. Some people are upset that Beyonce is on the cover because she has nothing to do with sports. What was Heidi Klum, power forward for the Atlanta Hawks?
Anna Nicole Smith passed away over the weekend. It hasn’t gotten so much attention which is surprising. Actually it’s been getting more attention than James Brown, President Ford, and Barbaro combined. Five different guys are rumored to be the father of her child. One of them has been dead for like 15 years, one of them is a prince married to Zsa Zsa Gabor . . . seriously!
They published photographs of the inside of this woman’s refrigerator. There were prescription drugs in there and about six cans of SlimFast. You know Anna Nicole did commercials for Trim Spa. The man who runs Trim Spa said, "I was pretty shocked and concerned. I questioned Howard about it. Howard said absolutely she never took Slim Fast.” Oh well, thank God. Given that your spokesmodel just died of unknown causes, wouldn’t it maybe be a good thing if she wasn’t using your products?
Wednesday, February 14, 2007
Late Nite Jokes
Leno
Tomorrow is Valentine’s Day. Or as NASA astronauts call it, the busy season.
Well it’s happened again. Now another guy has stepped forward and says he may be the father of Anna Nicole’s money . . . I mean baby.
The cold weather continues back east. To give you an idea how cold it is in New York City, today Donald Trump’s hair went into hibernation.
The No. 1 movie at the box office is "Norbit.” Eddie Murphy plays a huge fat woman. Or as [Bill] Clinton calls the film, "Dreamgirls.”
Letterman
It was so cold today that the Ryan O’Neal family was hugging.
It was so cold the Dixie Chicks mouthed off to Al Roker.
I think everyone has Valentine’s Day fever. Hillary Clinton, for example, will be wearing her sexiest pant suit.
Conan
Yet another person running for president. Earlier today, former Massachusetts Gov. Mitt Romney announced he’s running for president. If he wins, he’ll be the first Mormon president. Apparently Romney plans on winning the soccer mom vote by marrying all of them.
Yesterday at an international conference. An official from Cuba said that his country restricts use iof the Internet because it’s a "wild new technology.” Other wild new technologies in Cuba? The eight-track, the typewriter, and Tupperware.
This month a "Star Wars” memorabilia company started selling $120 replicas of Yoda’s light saber. After hearing about it, "Star Wars” fans said, "That’s ridiculous; for $120 we could lose our virginity.”
Everyone angry at Britney Spears these days. A prominent rabbi in California wrote a letter to Britney Spears where he tells her to start wearing underwear. The rabbi said, "At the very least, but a yamucah on that thing.”
Ferguson
Bad day for Britney Spears. A paparazzi photographer photographed the back seat of her car, and apparently the back seat was covered with vomit. I have an idea of what she was doing. She was getting out of her car, and she saw herself in the mirror, and she saw the Emmys that we all saw, and she had the reaction that all of America had.
Remember the group, The Police? They said, "We’re never going to get back together.” They announced their world tour today. People tend to be nostalgic for when they were in their early 20s. I am nostalgic for the 80s. There’s already a 90s, revival. Think about it: There’s a Bush in the White House; We’re at war with Iraq; Tupac has a new album out.
Bill Gates, the world’s richest man, the Microsoft man, he bought the Four Seasons today. Not the hotel chain, the actual seasons. It’s now Microsoft winter, Windows Spring, . . .
Kimmel
The NBA All-Star Game will be broadcast in something called HD, 3-D. It is 3-D, high-definition television. They’re saying that a couple of minutes into the second half, Ron Artest will actually come out of the set and punch you in the face.
Mitt Romney is now running on the Republican ticket. I really like his campaign slogan: "Mitt Happens.”
Al Gore is at it again. He was at The Grammys; he’ll be at the Oscars; and now he’s launching a series of concerts to benefit the fight against global warming. Its slogan? "Gorefest 2007. It’s hard-Gore.” I’m going to that! And I think I’m going to Obama-Palooza.”
Leno
Tomorrow is Valentine’s Day. Or as NASA astronauts call it, the busy season.
Well it’s happened again. Now another guy has stepped forward and says he may be the father of Anna Nicole’s money . . . I mean baby.
The cold weather continues back east. To give you an idea how cold it is in New York City, today Donald Trump’s hair went into hibernation.
The No. 1 movie at the box office is "Norbit.” Eddie Murphy plays a huge fat woman. Or as [Bill] Clinton calls the film, "Dreamgirls.”
Letterman
It was so cold today that the Ryan O’Neal family was hugging.
It was so cold the Dixie Chicks mouthed off to Al Roker.
I think everyone has Valentine’s Day fever. Hillary Clinton, for example, will be wearing her sexiest pant suit.
Conan
Yet another person running for president. Earlier today, former Massachusetts Gov. Mitt Romney announced he’s running for president. If he wins, he’ll be the first Mormon president. Apparently Romney plans on winning the soccer mom vote by marrying all of them.
Yesterday at an international conference. An official from Cuba said that his country restricts use iof the Internet because it’s a "wild new technology.” Other wild new technologies in Cuba? The eight-track, the typewriter, and Tupperware.
This month a "Star Wars” memorabilia company started selling $120 replicas of Yoda’s light saber. After hearing about it, "Star Wars” fans said, "That’s ridiculous; for $120 we could lose our virginity.”
Everyone angry at Britney Spears these days. A prominent rabbi in California wrote a letter to Britney Spears where he tells her to start wearing underwear. The rabbi said, "At the very least, but a yamucah on that thing.”
Ferguson
Bad day for Britney Spears. A paparazzi photographer photographed the back seat of her car, and apparently the back seat was covered with vomit. I have an idea of what she was doing. She was getting out of her car, and she saw herself in the mirror, and she saw the Emmys that we all saw, and she had the reaction that all of America had.
Remember the group, The Police? They said, "We’re never going to get back together.” They announced their world tour today. People tend to be nostalgic for when they were in their early 20s. I am nostalgic for the 80s. There’s already a 90s, revival. Think about it: There’s a Bush in the White House; We’re at war with Iraq; Tupac has a new album out.
Bill Gates, the world’s richest man, the Microsoft man, he bought the Four Seasons today. Not the hotel chain, the actual seasons. It’s now Microsoft winter, Windows Spring, . . .
Kimmel
The NBA All-Star Game will be broadcast in something called HD, 3-D. It is 3-D, high-definition television. They’re saying that a couple of minutes into the second half, Ron Artest will actually come out of the set and punch you in the face.
Mitt Romney is now running on the Republican ticket. I really like his campaign slogan: "Mitt Happens.”
Al Gore is at it again. He was at The Grammys; he’ll be at the Oscars; and now he’s launching a series of concerts to benefit the fight against global warming. Its slogan? "Gorefest 2007. It’s hard-Gore.” I’m going to that! And I think I’m going to Obama-Palooza.”
Tuesday, February 13, 2007
Sen. Barack Obama Apologizes for Saying U.S. Troops 'Wasted'
Democratic presidential candidate Barack Obama is apologizing for saying the lives of the more than 3,000 U.S. troops killed in the Iraq war were "wasted."
During his first campaign trip this weekend, the Illinois senator told a crowd in Iowa: "We now have spent $400 billion and have seen over 3,000 lives of the bravest young Americans wasted."
He immediately apologized on Sunday, saying the remark was "a slip of the tongue."
During an appearance Monday in Nashua, N.H., he apologized again, telling reporters he meant to criticize the civilian leadership of the war, not those serving in the military.
"Even as I said it, I realized I had misspoken," Obama said. "It is not at all what I intended to say, and I would absolutely apologize if any (military families) felt that in some ways it had diminished the enormous courage and sacrifice that they'd shown."
Obama made his second visit to New Hampshire on Monday, following his speech Saturday announcing his candidacy in Illinois on Saturday and a visit to first-caucus state Iowa.
Democratic presidential candidate Barack Obama is apologizing for saying the lives of the more than 3,000 U.S. troops killed in the Iraq war were "wasted."
During his first campaign trip this weekend, the Illinois senator told a crowd in Iowa: "We now have spent $400 billion and have seen over 3,000 lives of the bravest young Americans wasted."
He immediately apologized on Sunday, saying the remark was "a slip of the tongue."
During an appearance Monday in Nashua, N.H., he apologized again, telling reporters he meant to criticize the civilian leadership of the war, not those serving in the military.
"Even as I said it, I realized I had misspoken," Obama said. "It is not at all what I intended to say, and I would absolutely apologize if any (military families) felt that in some ways it had diminished the enormous courage and sacrifice that they'd shown."
Obama made his second visit to New Hampshire on Monday, following his speech Saturday announcing his candidacy in Illinois on Saturday and a visit to first-caucus state Iowa.
Late Nite Jokes
Letterman
"Boy, it’s cold – cold over the weekend, cold today here in New York City. I’m telling you, that crazy astronaut – you know the crazy astronaut? So cold, she was wearing an electric diaper.But we’re not kidding around: here in New York state, they had as much as 11 feet of snow. Eleven feet of snow – that’s serious stuff. And ABC heard about this, they announced a brand-new show, ‘Shoveling with the Stars.’”
"While you were applauding, the Dixie Chicks won another Grammy. Folks happen to see the Grammy show last night on CBS? It was a – frankly, I thought it was a pretty dull show. And to kind of liven things up, Phil Spector came out and fired a couple of warning shots. But, seriously, what better place to broadcast the Grammys than right here on CBS, am I right, ladies and gentlemen? I mean, after all, it is the ‘Hip-Hop Network.’”
"You know, what started off today at Madison Square Garden? The dog show, ladies and gentlemen. It’s the 131st dog show – that’s 917 in dog years. There’s a big controversy already at the dog show. It hasn’t even started, it’s crazy. They disqualified a Yorkshire terrier – turns out it was just a blow-dried rat.”
"And, you know, it’s a busy time of the year here in New York City. Last week, it was Fashion Week, and this week it’s the big dog show. I’m telling you, ladies and gentlemen, we got bitches coming and going.”
Leno
Did you all watch the Grammys last night? Congratulations to the Dixie Chicks. They won five Grammys. I don’t want to say that President Bush was upset but today he tried to get the Supreme Court to overturn the ballot results. I guess that only works once.
Al Gore thanked the music industry for helping to protect the environment. Really? I think Snoop Dogg alone has put enough smoke into the earth’s atmosphere to block out half the sunlight.
As you know, Al Gore has been nominated for two academy awards. But he has a bit of a problem, as far as transportation goes. He doesn’t want to ride there in a big car, and if you’ve seen al lately, he not longer fits in a small car. So unless hummer comes out with a hybrid in two weeks, he is screwed.
Today is Abraham Lincoln’s birthday. As you know, Abraham once said, "A house divided against itself cannot stand.” A very famous quote. Later proved wrong by the Clintons, but still a famous quote.
In an interview with USA Today, Senator Barack Obama says the shortness of his political resume is his "greatest strength.” Politics is the only business where people brag about how little experience they have. Can you imagine guys saying to you, "Look, I’ve never been to medical school, I’ve never even watched E.R., but if you just let me try and do this brain operation I’ll do the best job I can.”
If Ralph Nader runs for president in 2008, he’ll make history. He’ll be the first person ever to run for president four times … in the same suit.
President Bush announced that next month he’s going on a five nation tour of Latin America. Then he'll come back home and decide which one to invade. You want to look at them all first.
Letterman
"Boy, it’s cold – cold over the weekend, cold today here in New York City. I’m telling you, that crazy astronaut – you know the crazy astronaut? So cold, she was wearing an electric diaper.But we’re not kidding around: here in New York state, they had as much as 11 feet of snow. Eleven feet of snow – that’s serious stuff. And ABC heard about this, they announced a brand-new show, ‘Shoveling with the Stars.’”
"While you were applauding, the Dixie Chicks won another Grammy. Folks happen to see the Grammy show last night on CBS? It was a – frankly, I thought it was a pretty dull show. And to kind of liven things up, Phil Spector came out and fired a couple of warning shots. But, seriously, what better place to broadcast the Grammys than right here on CBS, am I right, ladies and gentlemen? I mean, after all, it is the ‘Hip-Hop Network.’”
"You know, what started off today at Madison Square Garden? The dog show, ladies and gentlemen. It’s the 131st dog show – that’s 917 in dog years. There’s a big controversy already at the dog show. It hasn’t even started, it’s crazy. They disqualified a Yorkshire terrier – turns out it was just a blow-dried rat.”
"And, you know, it’s a busy time of the year here in New York City. Last week, it was Fashion Week, and this week it’s the big dog show. I’m telling you, ladies and gentlemen, we got bitches coming and going.”
Leno
Did you all watch the Grammys last night? Congratulations to the Dixie Chicks. They won five Grammys. I don’t want to say that President Bush was upset but today he tried to get the Supreme Court to overturn the ballot results. I guess that only works once.
Al Gore thanked the music industry for helping to protect the environment. Really? I think Snoop Dogg alone has put enough smoke into the earth’s atmosphere to block out half the sunlight.
As you know, Al Gore has been nominated for two academy awards. But he has a bit of a problem, as far as transportation goes. He doesn’t want to ride there in a big car, and if you’ve seen al lately, he not longer fits in a small car. So unless hummer comes out with a hybrid in two weeks, he is screwed.
Today is Abraham Lincoln’s birthday. As you know, Abraham once said, "A house divided against itself cannot stand.” A very famous quote. Later proved wrong by the Clintons, but still a famous quote.
In an interview with USA Today, Senator Barack Obama says the shortness of his political resume is his "greatest strength.” Politics is the only business where people brag about how little experience they have. Can you imagine guys saying to you, "Look, I’ve never been to medical school, I’ve never even watched E.R., but if you just let me try and do this brain operation I’ll do the best job I can.”
If Ralph Nader runs for president in 2008, he’ll make history. He’ll be the first person ever to run for president four times … in the same suit.
President Bush announced that next month he’s going on a five nation tour of Latin America. Then he'll come back home and decide which one to invade. You want to look at them all first.
Monday, February 12, 2007
Late Nite Jokes
Leno
President Bush announced today he will leave on a tour of Latin America. His first stop? Los Angeles.
NASA made it official today: They are no longer going to recruit their astronauts from eHarmony.com.
Here’s something scary: Justice Department officials have determined that the president of the United States has the legal authority to have someone killed. If you’re the president, you can actually legally order the killing of someone in the United States. Today, Bill Clinton withdrew his support for Hillary.
The CEO of US Airways has been arrested on suspicion of drunk driving. The CEO of US Air. He said he fell in with the wrong crowed. . . .Pilots.
Letterman
Happy birthday to Burt Reynolds; 71 years old today. His friends all got together and threw him a surprise party. But unfortunately Burt is no longer able to look surprised.
There were so many candles on Burt’s cake, he had to wear a flame-retardant toupee.
Did you hear about this? An 89-year-old man was arrested for driving naked. It was his third arrest for driving naked. Get some help, Regis.
Conan
NASA has just announced that it has suspended astronaut Lisa Nowak for 30 days. Everyone should rest easy knowing that the crazy diaper lady won’t be operating spacecraft until March 10 at he earliest.
The rumor in Hollywood right now is that Al Gore may announce that he is running for president during a speech at the Academy Awards. That’s right; they found a way to make Oscar speeches even more boring.
Cuba says it is deporting a top Columbian drug lord to the United States. This means the Cuban government is kicking out the one person in Cuba who doesn’t want to go to America.
Ferguson
The gay groups have boycotted that Snickers ad. I think they just like that word "boycott”; that’s what it is.
There’s a big construction thing going on next to the place where it’s being held.. The limos won’t have any place to go…it’s going to be tough for me dropping people off . . .
People are very psyched about the Grammys. The Police are reuniting. Yes! Sting and the other guys . . . Germaine and Ringo . . . they’re getting back together.
Kimmel
The weather on the East Coast is very cold. The last five days, nearly 100 inches of snow on New York. To put it in perspective, that’s like 10 Verne Troyer [actor who played "Mini-Me”] stacked on top of each other.
This Sunday, Feb. 11, is a very important day, in our nation’s history. It’s the one-year anniversary of Dick Cheney shooting an old man in the face. Wisely regarded as the greatest comedy event of the century. It could turn out to be the least damaging thing the Bush administration has done.
I almost didn’t get here on time tonight. I had a long drive in. And if I hadn’t been wearing a diaper, I never wouldn’t have made it.
Leno
President Bush announced today he will leave on a tour of Latin America. His first stop? Los Angeles.
NASA made it official today: They are no longer going to recruit their astronauts from eHarmony.com.
Here’s something scary: Justice Department officials have determined that the president of the United States has the legal authority to have someone killed. If you’re the president, you can actually legally order the killing of someone in the United States. Today, Bill Clinton withdrew his support for Hillary.
The CEO of US Airways has been arrested on suspicion of drunk driving. The CEO of US Air. He said he fell in with the wrong crowed. . . .Pilots.
Letterman
Happy birthday to Burt Reynolds; 71 years old today. His friends all got together and threw him a surprise party. But unfortunately Burt is no longer able to look surprised.
There were so many candles on Burt’s cake, he had to wear a flame-retardant toupee.
Did you hear about this? An 89-year-old man was arrested for driving naked. It was his third arrest for driving naked. Get some help, Regis.
Conan
NASA has just announced that it has suspended astronaut Lisa Nowak for 30 days. Everyone should rest easy knowing that the crazy diaper lady won’t be operating spacecraft until March 10 at he earliest.
The rumor in Hollywood right now is that Al Gore may announce that he is running for president during a speech at the Academy Awards. That’s right; they found a way to make Oscar speeches even more boring.
Cuba says it is deporting a top Columbian drug lord to the United States. This means the Cuban government is kicking out the one person in Cuba who doesn’t want to go to America.
Ferguson
The gay groups have boycotted that Snickers ad. I think they just like that word "boycott”; that’s what it is.
There’s a big construction thing going on next to the place where it’s being held.. The limos won’t have any place to go…it’s going to be tough for me dropping people off . . .
People are very psyched about the Grammys. The Police are reuniting. Yes! Sting and the other guys . . . Germaine and Ringo . . . they’re getting back together.
Kimmel
The weather on the East Coast is very cold. The last five days, nearly 100 inches of snow on New York. To put it in perspective, that’s like 10 Verne Troyer [actor who played "Mini-Me”] stacked on top of each other.
This Sunday, Feb. 11, is a very important day, in our nation’s history. It’s the one-year anniversary of Dick Cheney shooting an old man in the face. Wisely regarded as the greatest comedy event of the century. It could turn out to be the least damaging thing the Bush administration has done.
I almost didn’t get here on time tonight. I had a long drive in. And if I hadn’t been wearing a diaper, I never wouldn’t have made it.
Sunday, February 11, 2007
Jewish Group Criticizes Mitt Romney
Republican Mitt Romney's choice of a museum honoring auto pioneer Henry Ford as the site of his presidential announcement was strongly criticized Monday by Jewish Democrats, who noted Ford's history of anti-Semitism.
The former Massachusetts governor, who is scheduled to formally launch his presidential candidacy from the Henry Ford Museum in Detroit on Tuesday, was taken to task by The National Jewish Democratic Council.
The council "is deeply troubled by Governor Romney's choice of locations to announce his Presidential campaign," executive director Ira Forman said in a statement.
"Romney has been traveling the country talking about inclusiveness and understanding of people from all walks of life," Forman said. "Yet he chooses to kick (off) his presidential campaign on the former estate of a well-known and outspoken anti-Semite and xenophobe."
Forman said Romney's "embrace of Henry Ford and association of Ford's legacy with his presidential campaign raises serious questions about either the sincerity of Romney's words or his understanding of basic American history."
Ford was bestowed with the Grand Service Cross of the Supreme Order of the German Eagle by Adolph Hitler
Eric Fehrnstrom, a spokesman for Romney, said the candidate will go ahead with his announcement as planned.
Republican Mitt Romney's choice of a museum honoring auto pioneer Henry Ford as the site of his presidential announcement was strongly criticized Monday by Jewish Democrats, who noted Ford's history of anti-Semitism.
The former Massachusetts governor, who is scheduled to formally launch his presidential candidacy from the Henry Ford Museum in Detroit on Tuesday, was taken to task by The National Jewish Democratic Council.
The council "is deeply troubled by Governor Romney's choice of locations to announce his Presidential campaign," executive director Ira Forman said in a statement.
"Romney has been traveling the country talking about inclusiveness and understanding of people from all walks of life," Forman said. "Yet he chooses to kick (off) his presidential campaign on the former estate of a well-known and outspoken anti-Semite and xenophobe."
Forman said Romney's "embrace of Henry Ford and association of Ford's legacy with his presidential campaign raises serious questions about either the sincerity of Romney's words or his understanding of basic American history."
Ford was bestowed with the Grand Service Cross of the Supreme Order of the German Eagle by Adolph Hitler
Eric Fehrnstrom, a spokesman for Romney, said the candidate will go ahead with his announcement as planned.
Saturday, February 10, 2007
'Scooter' Libby: NBC News Can Clear Me
Attorneys for I. Lewis "Scooter" Libby believe that NBC News holds a key to clearing him of perjury and obstruction charges in the CIA leak case.
Libby, the former chief of staff to Vice President Dick Cheney, wants a federal judge to let his lawyers question Andrea Mitchell, NBC's foreign affairs correspondent, about when she learned that the wife of an outspoken Bush administration critic worked for the CIA.
Libby is charged with lying and obstructing the investigation into the leak of CIA operative Valerie Plame's identity. Prosecutors rested their case Thursday and Libby is set to begin calling witnesses Monday
A key dispute in the case involves Mitchell's NBC colleague, Tim Russert. Libby says Russert told him in July 2003 that "all the reporters know" Plame worked for the CIA. Russert said that never happened because he didn't know who Plame was at the time.
Prosecutors say Libby concocted the Russert story to shield him from prosecution for discussing information he had learned through official government channels.
Libby's attorneys want to show that Russert had heard that Plame worked at the CIA. Former White House press secretary Ari Fleischer has already testified that he told NBC reporter David Gregory about her. If Libby can show that Mitchell knew, too, they think they can persuade jurors to believe Libby's account of the Russert conversation.
Plame was outed in a July 2003 syndicated column. Three months later, Mitchell said in a television interview that she had known Plame worked for the CIA before the column.
"It was widely known among those of us who cover the intelligence community," Mitchell said.
Mitchell has since recanted those comments and has said she can't explain them.
Though the comments seem to bolster Libby's case, it's unclear whether his attorneys will be allowed to play them for jurors. Attorneys are not normally allowed to present hearsay evidence or call witnesses simply to do so.
Mitchell is challenging a subpoena to testify in the case. A federal judge said he will hear arguments on the issue Monday.
In addition to Mitchell, attorneys have said several other journalists are expected to testify this week: New York Times managing editor Jill Abramson, Newsweek assistant managing editor Evan Thomas, and Bob Woodward, Walter Pincus and Glenn Kessler from the Washington Post.
Attorneys for I. Lewis "Scooter" Libby believe that NBC News holds a key to clearing him of perjury and obstruction charges in the CIA leak case.
Libby, the former chief of staff to Vice President Dick Cheney, wants a federal judge to let his lawyers question Andrea Mitchell, NBC's foreign affairs correspondent, about when she learned that the wife of an outspoken Bush administration critic worked for the CIA.
Libby is charged with lying and obstructing the investigation into the leak of CIA operative Valerie Plame's identity. Prosecutors rested their case Thursday and Libby is set to begin calling witnesses Monday
A key dispute in the case involves Mitchell's NBC colleague, Tim Russert. Libby says Russert told him in July 2003 that "all the reporters know" Plame worked for the CIA. Russert said that never happened because he didn't know who Plame was at the time.
Prosecutors say Libby concocted the Russert story to shield him from prosecution for discussing information he had learned through official government channels.
Libby's attorneys want to show that Russert had heard that Plame worked at the CIA. Former White House press secretary Ari Fleischer has already testified that he told NBC reporter David Gregory about her. If Libby can show that Mitchell knew, too, they think they can persuade jurors to believe Libby's account of the Russert conversation.
Plame was outed in a July 2003 syndicated column. Three months later, Mitchell said in a television interview that she had known Plame worked for the CIA before the column.
"It was widely known among those of us who cover the intelligence community," Mitchell said.
Mitchell has since recanted those comments and has said she can't explain them.
Though the comments seem to bolster Libby's case, it's unclear whether his attorneys will be allowed to play them for jurors. Attorneys are not normally allowed to present hearsay evidence or call witnesses simply to do so.
Mitchell is challenging a subpoena to testify in the case. A federal judge said he will hear arguments on the issue Monday.
In addition to Mitchell, attorneys have said several other journalists are expected to testify this week: New York Times managing editor Jill Abramson, Newsweek assistant managing editor Evan Thomas, and Bob Woodward, Walter Pincus and Glenn Kessler from the Washington Post.
Friday, February 9, 2007
Nancy Pelosi Wants Bedroom on Jet
Critics charge that House Speaker Nancy Pelosi is abusing the perks of power by asking for a jumbo military jet with sleeping accommodations for her flights across the country.
After the 9/11 terrorist attacks, the Pentagon agreed to provide the speaker, who is second in the line of presidential succession, with a military plane for added security during trips back home.
Former House Speaker Dennis Hastert, an Illinois Republican, flew in a small commuter-sized Air Force jet.
Pelosi wants a larger aircraft that can fly to her San Francisco district without stopping to refuel.
Some sources are claiming that Pelosi demanded access to the C-32, which seats 45 and has a stateroom for the primary passenger, a conference facility, an entertainment system and three convertible beds.
But the Los Angeles Times reports that the military passenger plane that can make a cross-country flight in any weather and also provide the communications needed to stay in contact with the White House is the C-40, which is described by the Air Force as an "office in the sky.”
Derived from the Boeing 737-700C, it can seat up to 120 passengers and has beds and two galleys.
Pelosi’s spokesman Brendan Daly acknowledged that the speaker has asked if family and friends can fly with her on business travel.
Some Republicans are raising a stink over Pelosi’s moves. "Flying Lincoln bedroom,” Minority Whip Roy Blunt of Missouri said in story appearing in the Washington Times.
"Pelosi One” said Rep. Patrick T. McHenry of North Carolina in the same article.
But spokesman Daly said the flap was "ridiculous.”
And Pelosi herself told the media on Wednesday that the request for the plane "has nothing to do with family and friends and everything to do with security. It’s a question of distance.”
She also said that she only wanted - as a female speaker of the house - what any male speaker of the house has had.
But most people do not fly cross-country with a bedroom.
Curiously, Pelosi has suggested that the Bush administration was behind the flap, the Los Angeles Times reported.
"The ... misrepresentation could [only] be coming from the administration, and one would only have to wonder why,” Pelosi said, even though White House Press Secretary Tony Snow says the speaker is not asking for anything unreasonable, that the whole affair is much ado about nothing, and that the military and the speaker are working things out.
According to the Air Force, at least 21 people can request the use of the C-40s, and there are only four of the aircraft available. Potential users include the chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff and the Cabinet secretaries. The planes are also used to fly congressional delegations to military theaters.
A senior Defense Department official said the aircraft Pelosi would be offered could sometimes include the larger plane.
Critics charge that House Speaker Nancy Pelosi is abusing the perks of power by asking for a jumbo military jet with sleeping accommodations for her flights across the country.
After the 9/11 terrorist attacks, the Pentagon agreed to provide the speaker, who is second in the line of presidential succession, with a military plane for added security during trips back home.
Former House Speaker Dennis Hastert, an Illinois Republican, flew in a small commuter-sized Air Force jet.
Pelosi wants a larger aircraft that can fly to her San Francisco district without stopping to refuel.
Some sources are claiming that Pelosi demanded access to the C-32, which seats 45 and has a stateroom for the primary passenger, a conference facility, an entertainment system and three convertible beds.
But the Los Angeles Times reports that the military passenger plane that can make a cross-country flight in any weather and also provide the communications needed to stay in contact with the White House is the C-40, which is described by the Air Force as an "office in the sky.”
Derived from the Boeing 737-700C, it can seat up to 120 passengers and has beds and two galleys.
Pelosi’s spokesman Brendan Daly acknowledged that the speaker has asked if family and friends can fly with her on business travel.
Some Republicans are raising a stink over Pelosi’s moves. "Flying Lincoln bedroom,” Minority Whip Roy Blunt of Missouri said in story appearing in the Washington Times.
"Pelosi One” said Rep. Patrick T. McHenry of North Carolina in the same article.
But spokesman Daly said the flap was "ridiculous.”
And Pelosi herself told the media on Wednesday that the request for the plane "has nothing to do with family and friends and everything to do with security. It’s a question of distance.”
She also said that she only wanted - as a female speaker of the house - what any male speaker of the house has had.
But most people do not fly cross-country with a bedroom.
Curiously, Pelosi has suggested that the Bush administration was behind the flap, the Los Angeles Times reported.
"The ... misrepresentation could [only] be coming from the administration, and one would only have to wonder why,” Pelosi said, even though White House Press Secretary Tony Snow says the speaker is not asking for anything unreasonable, that the whole affair is much ado about nothing, and that the military and the speaker are working things out.
According to the Air Force, at least 21 people can request the use of the C-40s, and there are only four of the aircraft available. Potential users include the chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff and the Cabinet secretaries. The planes are also used to fly congressional delegations to military theaters.
A senior Defense Department official said the aircraft Pelosi would be offered could sometimes include the larger plane.
Late Nite Jokes
Leno
So many places ban smoking in public. If Barack Obama wants to smoke, he has to go someplace where no one is around. Like a Joe Biden rally. Some place like that.
Funny story I saw on the news last night. Seems a couple of people walking down the street in Washington D.C. passed actor Will Smith — and they thought he was Barack Obama! They stopped him and said they’re voting for him in 2008. Same thing happened to Elton John. People thought he was Hillary.
The big rumor is that Al Gore may announce that he is running for president at the academy awards. That would be a first. Somebody at the Oscars talking about politics who actually knows what they are talking about. That’s never happened.
The principal of an Islamic school run by the government of Saudi Arabia has admitted that they use textbooks which describe Jewish people as "apes" and Christians as "pigs" and says they will continue to use them because they are appropriate for 5-year-olds. How lucky are we that the Saudis are our allies.
Letterman
Did you hear about the fan violence in Italy at soccer games? The fan violence in Italy at soccer games has gotten so bad, the teams are forced to play in empty stadiums. Empty stadiums! And so now, it’s just like United States soccer.
How cold is it? It‘s so cold today, Saddam Hussein is glad to be in hell.
It’s so cold they had to chisel that wacky astronaut out of her diaper.
I thought the only space traveler who wore a wig and an adult diaper was William Shatner.
Letterman's Top Ten
Top Ten Ways To Make The Grammy Awards More Exciting
10. One Grammy is full of angry yellow jackets
9. Less Rascal, More Flatts
8. Give a Grammy to the artist whose CD is easiest to open, am I right people?
7. Michael Richards hands out Rap and Hip Hop awards
6. My steamy kiss with Madonna re-enacted by Justin Timberlake and Ludacris
5. Announce Academy Award winners
4. Performance by Dennis Kucinich
3. Put another "m" in "Grammy"
2. Satellite hookup to any winners who are currently incarcerated
1. Special Grammy award to the presenter not wearing underpants
Conan
The White House just announced that President Bush is planning a trip to Mexico in March. Bush says he looks forward to celebrating Cinco de Marcho. The FDA announced that they have approved the first ove- the-counter weight-loss medication. The weight loss medication will be sold over the counter at Arby’s. The New York Post is reporting that Britney Spears and her new boyfriend have broken up. Friends say that she was never that serious about the guy, that he was just a rebound loser.
The FDA announced that they have approved the first ove- the-counter weight-loss medication. The weight loss medication will be sold over the counter at Arby’s.
The New York Post is reporting that Britney Spears and her new boyfriend have broken up. Friends say that she was never that serious about the guy, that he was just a rebound loser.
Ferguson
I heard the publisher of The New York Times is afraid that his newspaper won’t exist in five years because people get all their news online. I don’t know what’s going to happen if The New York Times disappears . . . I’ll have to line the bottom of my bird cage with a laptop.
Then, if I use a laptop to line the bottom of the cage, the birds will learn to use computers. They’ll find bird porn Web sites. That’s what they’ll do! Cockatoo dot-com!
The Eddie Murphy movie "Norbit” opens tomorrow. There’s a group protesting that the movie is making fun of fat people. You can’t be funny with out offending someone. It just can’t be done. We have proven on his show, however, that you can offend people and not be funny.
Kimmel
The first ever basketball player has come out of the closet. Former NBA center John Amaechi, who played for four different teams over five seasons, has publicly announced that he’s a homosexual. People started to get suspicious when they found out he had no illegitimate kids.
Remember Paris Hilton’s chihuahua? It was lost a few years ago, and they said they found it a few days later. But we have not seen it ever since. Paris brought a dog she called Tinkerbell onto the set of her new film, but US weekly is speculating that it might not be the same Tinkerbell. You can see that they look different…they have different coloring on their noses. What happened to the real Tinkerbell? Was she killed because she knew too much? When you have as much sex as Paris does, every once in a while your first dog is gonna get squashed.
Another breakup for Britney Spears. People magazine is reporting that Britney and her latest boyfriend Isaac Cohen have parted ways. The two were together for roughly two months. They have four children.
Leno
So many places ban smoking in public. If Barack Obama wants to smoke, he has to go someplace where no one is around. Like a Joe Biden rally. Some place like that.
Funny story I saw on the news last night. Seems a couple of people walking down the street in Washington D.C. passed actor Will Smith — and they thought he was Barack Obama! They stopped him and said they’re voting for him in 2008. Same thing happened to Elton John. People thought he was Hillary.
The big rumor is that Al Gore may announce that he is running for president at the academy awards. That would be a first. Somebody at the Oscars talking about politics who actually knows what they are talking about. That’s never happened.
The principal of an Islamic school run by the government of Saudi Arabia has admitted that they use textbooks which describe Jewish people as "apes" and Christians as "pigs" and says they will continue to use them because they are appropriate for 5-year-olds. How lucky are we that the Saudis are our allies.
Letterman
Did you hear about the fan violence in Italy at soccer games? The fan violence in Italy at soccer games has gotten so bad, the teams are forced to play in empty stadiums. Empty stadiums! And so now, it’s just like United States soccer.
How cold is it? It‘s so cold today, Saddam Hussein is glad to be in hell.
It’s so cold they had to chisel that wacky astronaut out of her diaper.
I thought the only space traveler who wore a wig and an adult diaper was William Shatner.
Letterman's Top Ten
Top Ten Ways To Make The Grammy Awards More Exciting
10. One Grammy is full of angry yellow jackets
9. Less Rascal, More Flatts
8. Give a Grammy to the artist whose CD is easiest to open, am I right people?
7. Michael Richards hands out Rap and Hip Hop awards
6. My steamy kiss with Madonna re-enacted by Justin Timberlake and Ludacris
5. Announce Academy Award winners
4. Performance by Dennis Kucinich
3. Put another "m" in "Grammy"
2. Satellite hookup to any winners who are currently incarcerated
1. Special Grammy award to the presenter not wearing underpants
Conan
The White House just announced that President Bush is planning a trip to Mexico in March. Bush says he looks forward to celebrating Cinco de Marcho. The FDA announced that they have approved the first ove- the-counter weight-loss medication. The weight loss medication will be sold over the counter at Arby’s. The New York Post is reporting that Britney Spears and her new boyfriend have broken up. Friends say that she was never that serious about the guy, that he was just a rebound loser.
The FDA announced that they have approved the first ove- the-counter weight-loss medication. The weight loss medication will be sold over the counter at Arby’s.
The New York Post is reporting that Britney Spears and her new boyfriend have broken up. Friends say that she was never that serious about the guy, that he was just a rebound loser.
Ferguson
I heard the publisher of The New York Times is afraid that his newspaper won’t exist in five years because people get all their news online. I don’t know what’s going to happen if The New York Times disappears . . . I’ll have to line the bottom of my bird cage with a laptop.
Then, if I use a laptop to line the bottom of the cage, the birds will learn to use computers. They’ll find bird porn Web sites. That’s what they’ll do! Cockatoo dot-com!
The Eddie Murphy movie "Norbit” opens tomorrow. There’s a group protesting that the movie is making fun of fat people. You can’t be funny with out offending someone. It just can’t be done. We have proven on his show, however, that you can offend people and not be funny.
Kimmel
The first ever basketball player has come out of the closet. Former NBA center John Amaechi, who played for four different teams over five seasons, has publicly announced that he’s a homosexual. People started to get suspicious when they found out he had no illegitimate kids.
Remember Paris Hilton’s chihuahua? It was lost a few years ago, and they said they found it a few days later. But we have not seen it ever since. Paris brought a dog she called Tinkerbell onto the set of her new film, but US weekly is speculating that it might not be the same Tinkerbell. You can see that they look different…they have different coloring on their noses. What happened to the real Tinkerbell? Was she killed because she knew too much? When you have as much sex as Paris does, every once in a while your first dog is gonna get squashed.
Another breakup for Britney Spears. People magazine is reporting that Britney and her latest boyfriend Isaac Cohen have parted ways. The two were together for roughly two months. They have four children.
Thursday, February 8, 2007
Hillary Clinton's Flip-Flop Chronicled
NewsMax - The lead editorial in Thursday’s Wall Street Journal chronicles Sen. Hillary Clinton’s move from a "solid, even eloquent hawk” on the Iraq war to a presidential candidate calling for a quick withdrawal of American forces.
"Pressured by other candidates and by her party’s left wing, she is walking back her hawkish statements and is now all but part of the antiwar camp,” the editorial declares, citing Clinton’s statements over the past 4 1/2 years:
On October 10, 2002, Clinton spoke to the Senate in favor of a use-of-force resolution authorizing the invasion of Iraq, saying: "The facts that have brought us to this fateful vote are not in doubt.”
On December 15, 2003, when it was clear there were no large stockpiles of weapons of mass destruction in Iraq, Clinton’s support was unwavering. "I was one who supported giving President Bush the authority, if necessary, to use force,” she told the Council on Foreign Relations. "We have no option but to stay involved and committed.”
On April 20, 2004, Clinton told CNN’s Larry King that she did not "regret giving the president the authority,” noting that Saddam Hussein "had been a real problem for the international community for more than a decade.”
In October 2005, amid growing anti-war sentiment, Clinton still told the Village Voice: "I don’t believe it’s smart to set a date for withdrawal . . . I don’t think it’s the right time to withdraw.”
By November 2005, Hillary was softening her stance, saying in a letter to constituents: "If Congress had been asked [to authorize the war], based on what we know now, we never would have agreed.”
On December 18, 2006, Clinton went even further, saying on the "Today” show: "I certainly wouldn’t have voted that way.”
On January 13 of this year, Clinton spoke from Baghdad about President Bush’s call for a troop surge: "I don’t know that the American people or the Congress at this point believe this mission can work.”
On January 17, Clinton called for a cap on the number of U.S. troops in Iraq, and suggested withholding funds for the Iraqi government.
Finally, on January 27, Clinton hit the campaign trail in Iowa and demanded that the president "extricate our country from this before he leaves office.”
The Journal opines: "What’s troubling about Mrs. Clinton’s record on Iraq is that it tends to follow, rather than lead, public opinion . . .
"The question we’d ask is whether this is the kind of stalwart drift that Mrs. Clinton would bring to the Oval Office?”
NewsMax - The lead editorial in Thursday’s Wall Street Journal chronicles Sen. Hillary Clinton’s move from a "solid, even eloquent hawk” on the Iraq war to a presidential candidate calling for a quick withdrawal of American forces.
"Pressured by other candidates and by her party’s left wing, she is walking back her hawkish statements and is now all but part of the antiwar camp,” the editorial declares, citing Clinton’s statements over the past 4 1/2 years:
On October 10, 2002, Clinton spoke to the Senate in favor of a use-of-force resolution authorizing the invasion of Iraq, saying: "The facts that have brought us to this fateful vote are not in doubt.”
On December 15, 2003, when it was clear there were no large stockpiles of weapons of mass destruction in Iraq, Clinton’s support was unwavering. "I was one who supported giving President Bush the authority, if necessary, to use force,” she told the Council on Foreign Relations. "We have no option but to stay involved and committed.”
On April 20, 2004, Clinton told CNN’s Larry King that she did not "regret giving the president the authority,” noting that Saddam Hussein "had been a real problem for the international community for more than a decade.”
In October 2005, amid growing anti-war sentiment, Clinton still told the Village Voice: "I don’t believe it’s smart to set a date for withdrawal . . . I don’t think it’s the right time to withdraw.”
By November 2005, Hillary was softening her stance, saying in a letter to constituents: "If Congress had been asked [to authorize the war], based on what we know now, we never would have agreed.”
On December 18, 2006, Clinton went even further, saying on the "Today” show: "I certainly wouldn’t have voted that way.”
On January 13 of this year, Clinton spoke from Baghdad about President Bush’s call for a troop surge: "I don’t know that the American people or the Congress at this point believe this mission can work.”
On January 17, Clinton called for a cap on the number of U.S. troops in Iraq, and suggested withholding funds for the Iraqi government.
Finally, on January 27, Clinton hit the campaign trail in Iowa and demanded that the president "extricate our country from this before he leaves office.”
The Journal opines: "What’s troubling about Mrs. Clinton’s record on Iraq is that it tends to follow, rather than lead, public opinion . . .
"The question we’d ask is whether this is the kind of stalwart drift that Mrs. Clinton would bring to the Oval Office?”
Late Nite Jokes
Leno
Have you been following the story of this female astro-nut? She drove 900 miles from Houston Texas to Orlando, Fla., to confront the woman who was her romantic rival. She drove the whole time wearing a diaper so she didn’t have to stop and pee. Of course, people capitalize on these things . . . have you seen these? Huggies with the "Astronaut fit?”
More rehab news. You probably know about the mayor of San Francisco, Gavin Newsome, who had sex with the wife of his campaign manager. He announced he’s going into alcohol rehab. How insulting is that for the campaign manager? Not only did he have sex with his wife, he had to be drunk to do it!
Wanna know how to tell if a man in San Francisco has an alcohol problem? He hits on a woman.
Letterman
Were you aware that it’s Fashion Week? There’s a brand new line of clothing unveiled earlier today by Chicago Bears’ quarterback Rex Grossman. The nice thing about it is, it comes apart at the seams.
How about that story, you know the NASA astronaut? When they caught her, she was wearing a wig and an adult diaper. There was a lot of confusion, because originally, authorities thought she was Elton John.
She drove 900 miles in a diaper. That’s pretty amazing. Britney Spears can’t even make it around the block in her underpants.
Letterman's Top Ten
Top Ten Questions To Ask Yourself Before Exercising Naked
10. Does my insurance cover naked gym accidents?
9. Can I handle a naked dude spotting me?
8. Is this even legal?
7. Does this mean I'm gay?
6. Is this some sort of "Dateline" sting?
5. What is their policy on squatting?
4. Will this be on YouTube?
3. If I get in shape, will that crazy astronaut chick start stalking me?
2. Do I want to be known as "The dude that got his deal caught in the leg press"?
1. Where do I put my locker key?
Conan
Everyone in the world is running for president. Political experts are now saying that to win the presidency in 2008, a candidate has to get "hot." After hearing this, Bill Clinton said Hillary is doomed.
Earlier today Ozzy Osbourne announced that he’s going to perform at this year’s Ozz Fest without getting paid. Afterwards, the concert’s promoter said, "Don’t tell Ozzy, but we haven’t paid him for 12 years.”
Paula Abdul says, when she’s on "American Idol,” she doesn’t just pick people by singing ability, she also judges how well they’ve put together their look. In other words, Abdul picks whoever looks old enough to buy her a drink.
Ferguson
The astronaut love triangle. I love that one. NASA hasn’t had this much press since they faked that moon-landing thing in the ’60s.
These things are bound to happen when men and women work together. You see it all the time in Hollywood. People have sex scenes together, kissing scenes . . . but it’s just acting; they’re just pretending to be in love with each other . . . like marriage.
But when the movie’s over you still have some money left obviously.
Kimmel
New episodes of "Lost” return to our airwaves. Finally Wednesdays are confusing again.
Mars is getting some flak over a Super Bowl commercial they aired. They decided to pull it after complaints that it was homophobic. The Skittles people get no complaints at all. "Chase the Rainbow” isn’t gay?
One group called it the most bigoted ad since Junior Mints launched their "Little Mint That’s Not for Mexicans” campaign.
Leno
Have you been following the story of this female astro-nut? She drove 900 miles from Houston Texas to Orlando, Fla., to confront the woman who was her romantic rival. She drove the whole time wearing a diaper so she didn’t have to stop and pee. Of course, people capitalize on these things . . . have you seen these? Huggies with the "Astronaut fit?”
More rehab news. You probably know about the mayor of San Francisco, Gavin Newsome, who had sex with the wife of his campaign manager. He announced he’s going into alcohol rehab. How insulting is that for the campaign manager? Not only did he have sex with his wife, he had to be drunk to do it!
Wanna know how to tell if a man in San Francisco has an alcohol problem? He hits on a woman.
Letterman
Were you aware that it’s Fashion Week? There’s a brand new line of clothing unveiled earlier today by Chicago Bears’ quarterback Rex Grossman. The nice thing about it is, it comes apart at the seams.
How about that story, you know the NASA astronaut? When they caught her, she was wearing a wig and an adult diaper. There was a lot of confusion, because originally, authorities thought she was Elton John.
She drove 900 miles in a diaper. That’s pretty amazing. Britney Spears can’t even make it around the block in her underpants.
Letterman's Top Ten
Top Ten Questions To Ask Yourself Before Exercising Naked
10. Does my insurance cover naked gym accidents?
9. Can I handle a naked dude spotting me?
8. Is this even legal?
7. Does this mean I'm gay?
6. Is this some sort of "Dateline" sting?
5. What is their policy on squatting?
4. Will this be on YouTube?
3. If I get in shape, will that crazy astronaut chick start stalking me?
2. Do I want to be known as "The dude that got his deal caught in the leg press"?
1. Where do I put my locker key?
Conan
Everyone in the world is running for president. Political experts are now saying that to win the presidency in 2008, a candidate has to get "hot." After hearing this, Bill Clinton said Hillary is doomed.
Earlier today Ozzy Osbourne announced that he’s going to perform at this year’s Ozz Fest without getting paid. Afterwards, the concert’s promoter said, "Don’t tell Ozzy, but we haven’t paid him for 12 years.”
Paula Abdul says, when she’s on "American Idol,” she doesn’t just pick people by singing ability, she also judges how well they’ve put together their look. In other words, Abdul picks whoever looks old enough to buy her a drink.
Ferguson
The astronaut love triangle. I love that one. NASA hasn’t had this much press since they faked that moon-landing thing in the ’60s.
These things are bound to happen when men and women work together. You see it all the time in Hollywood. People have sex scenes together, kissing scenes . . . but it’s just acting; they’re just pretending to be in love with each other . . . like marriage.
But when the movie’s over you still have some money left obviously.
Kimmel
New episodes of "Lost” return to our airwaves. Finally Wednesdays are confusing again.
Mars is getting some flak over a Super Bowl commercial they aired. They decided to pull it after complaints that it was homophobic. The Skittles people get no complaints at all. "Chase the Rainbow” isn’t gay?
One group called it the most bigoted ad since Junior Mints launched their "Little Mint That’s Not for Mexicans” campaign.
Wednesday, February 7, 2007
Speaker Nancy Pelosi Gets Big Jet
House Speaker Nancy Pelosi will have access to an Air Force jet larger than the one used by her predecessor so she can fly nonstop between Washington and her San Francisco district.
Following the 9/11 terrorist attacks, the speaker – who is second in line for the presidency after the vice president – has been able to use a military aircraft for security reasons.
But the jet used by the previous speaker, Rep. Dennis Hastert of Illinois, was too small to fly to California without refueling.
As NewsMax reported earlier, Pelosi’s office has been pressing for routine access to military aircraft not only for herself and her staff, but for relatives and other members of the California delegation as well.
As of Monday, the Air Force had not informed Pelosi’s camp as to who can travel with her, the Contra Costa Times in California reported.
Pelosi’s aircraft requests have touched off grumbling about the speaker requesting more than her GOP predecessor.
House Speaker Nancy Pelosi will have access to an Air Force jet larger than the one used by her predecessor so she can fly nonstop between Washington and her San Francisco district.
Following the 9/11 terrorist attacks, the speaker – who is second in line for the presidency after the vice president – has been able to use a military aircraft for security reasons.
But the jet used by the previous speaker, Rep. Dennis Hastert of Illinois, was too small to fly to California without refueling.
As NewsMax reported earlier, Pelosi’s office has been pressing for routine access to military aircraft not only for herself and her staff, but for relatives and other members of the California delegation as well.
As of Monday, the Air Force had not informed Pelosi’s camp as to who can travel with her, the Contra Costa Times in California reported.
Pelosi’s aircraft requests have touched off grumbling about the speaker requesting more than her GOP predecessor.
Late Nite Jokes
Leno
I guess you know the big story today. Houston, we have a problem. Oh my god! The woman astronaut told police she was involved in a relationship with another NASA astronaut that was "more than a working relationship but less than a romantic relationship." or as NASA calls that, an unauthorized docking procedure.
Sen. Clinton said this week that if she is elected president in 2008, she will bring the troops home. The troops home? She can’t even get Bill to go home.
According to a new study, over 18 million American men currently suffer from erectile dysfunction. Doctors say that number could double if Hillary gets elected.
Letterman
Here’s how cold it is: Earlier today, President Bush said, "See, I fixed global warming.”
It’s awful cold. It’s chillier than dinner at Ryan O’Neill’s house.
Have you heard about this? This big love triangle? This woman astronaut was going to kidnap another woman because they were in love with the same guy, so this woman astronaut drives 900 miles wearing a wig and a diaper. I wanna tell ya, this is one giant step for man, one giant leap for the nuthouse.
Thank God the kidnapping attempt failed. And of course it failed. I mean, let’s face it; she’s no rocket scientist.
Letterman's Top Ten
Top Ten Signs An Astronaut Is Trying To Kill You
10. Says, "This is a giant leap for mankind as she tosses you off a bridge
9. You turn on CNN and see the Hubble Telescope focusing on your house
8. She promises to "Take you out like Pluto”
7. It sounds crazy, but you could swear Mars is following you
6. You were on the "Maury” episode: "I had a booty call and now an astronaut is trying to kill me”
5. Her previous attempt to kill you had been postponed due to high winds
4. She poisons your Tang
3. She says she looks forward to being the first to walk on your lifeless corpse
2. Been getting threatening e-mails from connie@internationalspacestation.com
1. She keeps stabbing you with a pen that writes upside-down
Conan
This female astronaut was going to kidnap another woman because they were both in love with the same astronaut. The male astronaut was disappointed the female astronaut was arrested and said, "I was hoping to get some Tang.”
People are still talking about the Super Bowl. According to the latest Neilson Ratings, this Sunday’s Super Bowl was watched by 93 million viewers. Usually when that many Americans tune in to a show, it involves a drunk Paula Abdul.
Republican Congressman Tom Tancredo has announced he’s forming a presidential exploratory committee. The committee won’t be paid for their work, but they will get some sweet, high-paying jobs in the Tancredo administration.
Ferguson
Apple Computer and the Beatles have finally settled their lawsuit over the use of the name Apple. Apparently Paul McCartney wants to focus on one legal battle at a time.
Johnny Knoxville of "Jackass” is getting divorced from his wife. Now listen, if you think ramming a shopping cart into your testicles is painful, you wait until you get into divorce court . . .
In Atlantic City a gambler gave birth to a baby on the casino floor. What is she thinking? You know you gotta know when to hold ’em. You gotta know!
Today the mayor of San Francisco has announced he’s going into rehab casue he got busted for sleeping with a married woman. The people of San Francisco are disgusted at this flagrant heterosexual behavior in their town.
Kimmel
The Indianapolis Colts are Super Bowl champions. They beat the Bears on Sunday. The quarterback for the Bears, Rex Grossman, he had a very difficult day; he couldn’t stay on his feet, which was doubly embarrassing, because Prince did the whole halftime show in high heels and had no trouble at all.
They make the T-shirts and the hats that say, "Super Bowl Champions” in advance, so that they can wear then right after the game, and I always wonder what happens to the T-shirts they make for the losing team and fortunately we have the news to explain all things to us: "They will be handed out to developing nations like Nigeria, Uganda and Sierra Leon.” That’s weird! Super Bowl shirts aren’t the only rejected clothing they ship over there . . . this one recently turned up: "Dick Cheney Never Shot an Old Man in the Face.”
It was so cold in Indianapolis that Tony Dungy is now also the first blue couch to win the Super Bowl.
Leno
I guess you know the big story today. Houston, we have a problem. Oh my god! The woman astronaut told police she was involved in a relationship with another NASA astronaut that was "more than a working relationship but less than a romantic relationship." or as NASA calls that, an unauthorized docking procedure.
Sen. Clinton said this week that if she is elected president in 2008, she will bring the troops home. The troops home? She can’t even get Bill to go home.
According to a new study, over 18 million American men currently suffer from erectile dysfunction. Doctors say that number could double if Hillary gets elected.
Letterman
Here’s how cold it is: Earlier today, President Bush said, "See, I fixed global warming.”
It’s awful cold. It’s chillier than dinner at Ryan O’Neill’s house.
Have you heard about this? This big love triangle? This woman astronaut was going to kidnap another woman because they were in love with the same guy, so this woman astronaut drives 900 miles wearing a wig and a diaper. I wanna tell ya, this is one giant step for man, one giant leap for the nuthouse.
Thank God the kidnapping attempt failed. And of course it failed. I mean, let’s face it; she’s no rocket scientist.
Letterman's Top Ten
Top Ten Signs An Astronaut Is Trying To Kill You
10. Says, "This is a giant leap for mankind as she tosses you off a bridge
9. You turn on CNN and see the Hubble Telescope focusing on your house
8. She promises to "Take you out like Pluto”
7. It sounds crazy, but you could swear Mars is following you
6. You were on the "Maury” episode: "I had a booty call and now an astronaut is trying to kill me”
5. Her previous attempt to kill you had been postponed due to high winds
4. She poisons your Tang
3. She says she looks forward to being the first to walk on your lifeless corpse
2. Been getting threatening e-mails from connie@internationalspacestation.com
1. She keeps stabbing you with a pen that writes upside-down
Conan
This female astronaut was going to kidnap another woman because they were both in love with the same astronaut. The male astronaut was disappointed the female astronaut was arrested and said, "I was hoping to get some Tang.”
People are still talking about the Super Bowl. According to the latest Neilson Ratings, this Sunday’s Super Bowl was watched by 93 million viewers. Usually when that many Americans tune in to a show, it involves a drunk Paula Abdul.
Republican Congressman Tom Tancredo has announced he’s forming a presidential exploratory committee. The committee won’t be paid for their work, but they will get some sweet, high-paying jobs in the Tancredo administration.
Ferguson
Apple Computer and the Beatles have finally settled their lawsuit over the use of the name Apple. Apparently Paul McCartney wants to focus on one legal battle at a time.
Johnny Knoxville of "Jackass” is getting divorced from his wife. Now listen, if you think ramming a shopping cart into your testicles is painful, you wait until you get into divorce court . . .
In Atlantic City a gambler gave birth to a baby on the casino floor. What is she thinking? You know you gotta know when to hold ’em. You gotta know!
Today the mayor of San Francisco has announced he’s going into rehab casue he got busted for sleeping with a married woman. The people of San Francisco are disgusted at this flagrant heterosexual behavior in their town.
Kimmel
The Indianapolis Colts are Super Bowl champions. They beat the Bears on Sunday. The quarterback for the Bears, Rex Grossman, he had a very difficult day; he couldn’t stay on his feet, which was doubly embarrassing, because Prince did the whole halftime show in high heels and had no trouble at all.
They make the T-shirts and the hats that say, "Super Bowl Champions” in advance, so that they can wear then right after the game, and I always wonder what happens to the T-shirts they make for the losing team and fortunately we have the news to explain all things to us: "They will be handed out to developing nations like Nigeria, Uganda and Sierra Leon.” That’s weird! Super Bowl shirts aren’t the only rejected clothing they ship over there . . . this one recently turned up: "Dick Cheney Never Shot an Old Man in the Face.”
It was so cold in Indianapolis that Tony Dungy is now also the first blue couch to win the Super Bowl.
Tuesday, February 6, 2007
'Good Sign' Iraqis Want Quick New Strategy
President George W. Bush responded on Monday to criticism the United States was too slow in completing a new strategy to secure Baghdad, saying it was a "good sign" Iraqis wanted the plan more quickly.
Bush's strategy involves sending 21,500 more troops to Iraq, with about 17,000 of them to Baghdad to help reduce escalating violence in the capital against U.S.-led forces and between rival factions of Sunni and Shi'ite Muslims.
The move has come under a barrage of criticism from the new Democratic majority in both houses of Congress and some in his own Republican Party. Opinion polls show it is also unpopular among the majority of Americans.
The New York Times reported on Monday that many Iraqis said the slow pace of putting the plan into action contributed to the worst suicide bombing of the war - a truck bomb that killed 135 people in a Shi'ite area of Baghdad on Saturday.
The violence shows no signs of abating, with three car bombs killing 24 people in Baghdad on Monday.
"It's a good sign that there's a sense of concern and anxiety. It means that the (Iraqi) government understands they have a responsibility to protect their people," Bush said.
"And we want to help them," he told reporters after meeting his Cabinet about his proposed $2.9 trillion federal budget for the 2008 fiscal year, Iraq and other issues.
Bush said the budget, which estimated a sharply slower rate of spending for the Iraq war in 2009 and did not give a forecast for spending beyond that year, did not imply a timetable for withdrawal of U.S. troops.
In the budget, Bush estimated an additional $50 billion in spending for the Iraq war for 2009 after proposing $145 billion in spending for 2008.
"There will be no timetable set. And the reason why is because we don't want to send mixed signals to an enemy or to a struggling democracy or to our troops," Bush said.
Gen. David Petraeus, the new top U.S. commander in Iraq, will head there early on Tuesday, and Bush said his message was to "get this plan in place as quickly as possible."
The Senate was expected to vote on Monday on whether to move forward with debate on a non-binding resolution that shows opposition to Bush's plan to increase troop levels in Iraq. Republican leaders have vowed to block it.
President George W. Bush responded on Monday to criticism the United States was too slow in completing a new strategy to secure Baghdad, saying it was a "good sign" Iraqis wanted the plan more quickly.
Bush's strategy involves sending 21,500 more troops to Iraq, with about 17,000 of them to Baghdad to help reduce escalating violence in the capital against U.S.-led forces and between rival factions of Sunni and Shi'ite Muslims.
The move has come under a barrage of criticism from the new Democratic majority in both houses of Congress and some in his own Republican Party. Opinion polls show it is also unpopular among the majority of Americans.
The New York Times reported on Monday that many Iraqis said the slow pace of putting the plan into action contributed to the worst suicide bombing of the war - a truck bomb that killed 135 people in a Shi'ite area of Baghdad on Saturday.
The violence shows no signs of abating, with three car bombs killing 24 people in Baghdad on Monday.
"It's a good sign that there's a sense of concern and anxiety. It means that the (Iraqi) government understands they have a responsibility to protect their people," Bush said.
"And we want to help them," he told reporters after meeting his Cabinet about his proposed $2.9 trillion federal budget for the 2008 fiscal year, Iraq and other issues.
Bush said the budget, which estimated a sharply slower rate of spending for the Iraq war in 2009 and did not give a forecast for spending beyond that year, did not imply a timetable for withdrawal of U.S. troops.
In the budget, Bush estimated an additional $50 billion in spending for the Iraq war for 2009 after proposing $145 billion in spending for 2008.
"There will be no timetable set. And the reason why is because we don't want to send mixed signals to an enemy or to a struggling democracy or to our troops," Bush said.
Gen. David Petraeus, the new top U.S. commander in Iraq, will head there early on Tuesday, and Bush said his message was to "get this plan in place as quickly as possible."
The Senate was expected to vote on Monday on whether to move forward with debate on a non-binding resolution that shows opposition to Bush's plan to increase troop levels in Iraq. Republican leaders have vowed to block it.
Late Nite Jokes
Leno
Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice had predicted the Indianapolis Colts would win. Isn't that amazing? A Bush administration victory announcement that actually came true. That has never happened.
Hillary Clinton is hard out on the campaign trail. Hillary is expected to attract the woman vote and, of course, Bill will attract "the other woman” vote. So between the two of them they should have the female vote locked up.
Congratulations to Vice President Al Gore. He has been nominated for a Nobel Peace prize. Luckily for Gore, Florida doesn’t vote on this one.
Maytag has recalled 2.3 million dishwashers. And the INS has deported 50 more.
Letterman
It was so cold President Bush sent 20,000 troops to Al Roker’s house.
This just in: The U.N. conference on global warming has been canceled.
It so cold here in New York City, the Statue of Liberty is holding her torch under her dress.
Congratulations to the city of Indianapolis. The Colts beat the Chicago Bears in the Super Bowl. After the game, a confused President Bush phoned the locker room and asked to speak to Janet Jackson. Actually you have to hand it to the Colts . . . I believe that was the Bears’ strategy.
Letterman's Top Ten
Top Ten Chicago Bears Excuses
10. Too much pre-game paella
9. Hard to be motivated by a guy named "Lovie"
8. Spent every huddle talking about "American Idol"
7. Peyton promised to put us in a commercial if we let him win
6. We're not used to bad weather
5. Colts players were shoving us
4. Never adjusted to one hour time difference
3. Like the rest of America, we wanted to see Peyton finally win the big one
2. Hard to play when you're excited about upcoming "Late Show” Ventriloquist Week
1. Worried about sharing locker room with Prince
Conan
Indianapolis Colts coach Tony Dungy became the first African-American coach to win the Super Bowl, and today, President Bush called to congratulate him. There was an awkward moment when Bush said, "I also thought you were great in the halftime show.”
Most of the country has been suffering from freezing temperatures this week. Here in New York, the windchill has been below zero. In fact it was so cold here in New York, Donald Trump cuddled with Rosie for warmth.
Arnold Schwarzenegger is in trouble after tapes surfaced of him saying negative things about other Republicans. Actually the Schwarzenegger tapes surfaced last year, but they weren’t deciphered until this week.
Ferguson
I love the Super Bowl every year! It's like the Oscars for straight guys. This is our day!
What a fantastic weekend I've had. Played football with Dan Marino, sang with Gloria Estefan, I even went to the Maxim party, which was sensational. K-Fed was there. He parked my car.
K-Fed's in town; he's Britney Spears' ex. And Paris Hilton's old flame is also in town — the Chicago Bears.
Miami was crawling with celebrities this weekend. I haven't seen this many celebrities since I was in rehab.
Leno
Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice had predicted the Indianapolis Colts would win. Isn't that amazing? A Bush administration victory announcement that actually came true. That has never happened.
Hillary Clinton is hard out on the campaign trail. Hillary is expected to attract the woman vote and, of course, Bill will attract "the other woman” vote. So between the two of them they should have the female vote locked up.
Congratulations to Vice President Al Gore. He has been nominated for a Nobel Peace prize. Luckily for Gore, Florida doesn’t vote on this one.
Maytag has recalled 2.3 million dishwashers. And the INS has deported 50 more.
Letterman
It was so cold President Bush sent 20,000 troops to Al Roker’s house.
This just in: The U.N. conference on global warming has been canceled.
It so cold here in New York City, the Statue of Liberty is holding her torch under her dress.
Congratulations to the city of Indianapolis. The Colts beat the Chicago Bears in the Super Bowl. After the game, a confused President Bush phoned the locker room and asked to speak to Janet Jackson. Actually you have to hand it to the Colts . . . I believe that was the Bears’ strategy.
Letterman's Top Ten
Top Ten Chicago Bears Excuses
10. Too much pre-game paella
9. Hard to be motivated by a guy named "Lovie"
8. Spent every huddle talking about "American Idol"
7. Peyton promised to put us in a commercial if we let him win
6. We're not used to bad weather
5. Colts players were shoving us
4. Never adjusted to one hour time difference
3. Like the rest of America, we wanted to see Peyton finally win the big one
2. Hard to play when you're excited about upcoming "Late Show” Ventriloquist Week
1. Worried about sharing locker room with Prince
Conan
Indianapolis Colts coach Tony Dungy became the first African-American coach to win the Super Bowl, and today, President Bush called to congratulate him. There was an awkward moment when Bush said, "I also thought you were great in the halftime show.”
Most of the country has been suffering from freezing temperatures this week. Here in New York, the windchill has been below zero. In fact it was so cold here in New York, Donald Trump cuddled with Rosie for warmth.
Arnold Schwarzenegger is in trouble after tapes surfaced of him saying negative things about other Republicans. Actually the Schwarzenegger tapes surfaced last year, but they weren’t deciphered until this week.
Ferguson
I love the Super Bowl every year! It's like the Oscars for straight guys. This is our day!
What a fantastic weekend I've had. Played football with Dan Marino, sang with Gloria Estefan, I even went to the Maxim party, which was sensational. K-Fed was there. He parked my car.
K-Fed's in town; he's Britney Spears' ex. And Paris Hilton's old flame is also in town — the Chicago Bears.
Miami was crawling with celebrities this weekend. I haven't seen this many celebrities since I was in rehab.
Monday, February 5, 2007
Who Pays Almost All Federal Income Tax?
House Speaker Nancy Pelosi and fellow Democrats have talked about repealing President Bush’s tax cuts for upper-income Americans. But those who earn the most money – and invest the most in the economy – are already paying almost all federal personal income taxes, a recent report reveals.
Congress’ Joint Economic Committee disclosed that the richer half of the American population pays nearly 97 percent of income taxes. Most of that, 54 percent, is paid by those in the top 5 percent, Investor’s Business Daily (IBD) disclosed.
And the richest of the rich – just the top 1 percent – pay a hefty 34 percent of all personal income taxes collected by the federal government.
Meanwhile, about 14 million lower-income Americans have been removed from the income tax rolls since 2000 due to the earned income tax credit and the per-child tax credit, IBD reports.
Despite Bush’s tax cuts, the overall tax burden has been rising. Americans’ average overall tax burden has risen since 2004 and now stands at 31.6 percent of income, according to the Tax Foundation, due in large part to the alternative minimum tax and increases in property taxes.
"With an already rising tax burden, borne disproportionately by those who are successful, and who invest,” the IBD concludes, "the Democrats’ plans for big tax increases could be more damaging to the U.S. economy than ever before.”
House Speaker Nancy Pelosi and fellow Democrats have talked about repealing President Bush’s tax cuts for upper-income Americans. But those who earn the most money – and invest the most in the economy – are already paying almost all federal personal income taxes, a recent report reveals.
Congress’ Joint Economic Committee disclosed that the richer half of the American population pays nearly 97 percent of income taxes. Most of that, 54 percent, is paid by those in the top 5 percent, Investor’s Business Daily (IBD) disclosed.
And the richest of the rich – just the top 1 percent – pay a hefty 34 percent of all personal income taxes collected by the federal government.
Meanwhile, about 14 million lower-income Americans have been removed from the income tax rolls since 2000 due to the earned income tax credit and the per-child tax credit, IBD reports.
Despite Bush’s tax cuts, the overall tax burden has been rising. Americans’ average overall tax burden has risen since 2004 and now stands at 31.6 percent of income, according to the Tax Foundation, due in large part to the alternative minimum tax and increases in property taxes.
"With an already rising tax burden, borne disproportionately by those who are successful, and who invest,” the IBD concludes, "the Democrats’ plans for big tax increases could be more damaging to the U.S. economy than ever before.”
Sunday, February 4, 2007
Hillary Gets Hostile Reaction from DNC
Sen. Hillary Rodham Clinton isn't universally loved -- even within her own party.
At the Democratic National Committee's winter meeting in Washington, Clinton faced a hostile crowd, according to the Huffington Post.
According to the Web site, "though there seemed to be almost as many Clinton placards as there were people in the room, catcalls drowned out any roars of approval from her cheering section as she began to speak."
When Clinton stated that she had been critical of the Iraq war, a heckler at her speech retorted, "Not!" Her speech was interrupted numerous times by protesters, the Huffington Post reported.
In contrast, Sen. Barack Obama received calls of "I love you" and "You can do it!" from the crowd when he spoke.
The Baltimore Sun reported that former Sen. John Edwards of North Carolina, Sen. Christopher J. Dodd of Connecticut, Rep. Dennis J. Kucinich of Ohio, and retired Gen. Wesley Clark also spoke at the winter meeting.
Sen. Hillary Rodham Clinton isn't universally loved -- even within her own party.
At the Democratic National Committee's winter meeting in Washington, Clinton faced a hostile crowd, according to the Huffington Post.
According to the Web site, "though there seemed to be almost as many Clinton placards as there were people in the room, catcalls drowned out any roars of approval from her cheering section as she began to speak."
When Clinton stated that she had been critical of the Iraq war, a heckler at her speech retorted, "Not!" Her speech was interrupted numerous times by protesters, the Huffington Post reported.
In contrast, Sen. Barack Obama received calls of "I love you" and "You can do it!" from the crowd when he spoke.
The Baltimore Sun reported that former Sen. John Edwards of North Carolina, Sen. Christopher J. Dodd of Connecticut, Rep. Dennis J. Kucinich of Ohio, and retired Gen. Wesley Clark also spoke at the winter meeting.
