Tuesday, November 30, 2004
Who's calling whom arrogant?
According to liberal logic, Republicans should act like losers when they lose and act like losers when they win. President Bush, having run on an agenda of staying the course in Iraq, making his tax cuts permanent, and injecting a measure of private ownership in the Social Security system, should abandon all three goals.
David Limbaugh: I'm struck by the irony of the liberal punditry warning Republicans not to interpret their sweeping victories as a mandate because such "arrogance" could lead to a voter backlash.
In the very process of obsessing over what Republicans might do and become in the future, liberals are blinding themselves to what they have already done and become.
They are lecturing Republicans about copping an arrogant attitude when they are so deeply steeped in one themselves they can't accurately interpret their own reflection in the election mirror.
A recent Chicago Tribune headline reads: "Beware perils of overreaching, GOP is warned. Analysts say agenda could backfire." The article quotes Illinois Democratic Congressman and former Clinton insider Rahm Emanuel as saying, "If you don't think you are going to be accountable and there are no consequences for what you do, it'll lead to overreaching."
For a while I thought some liberals were beginning to grasp that for now, at least, they are the ones who are out of step with the American people; they are the ones who ought to be engaging in self-evaluation rather than projecting their losses onto Republicans.
But they still don't get it. They can't get past the political gamesmanship of it all -- an indelible stain on their psyche from the Clinton years. In their mind's eye the election results were all about political strategy and packaging rather than the merits of the issues -- about form over substance.
Happily, the liberals' failure to come to terms with their own predicament is leading them to put all their future hopes on Republicans imploding rather than making the necessary adjustments to make their own message more palatable, in substance not just appearance, to the voters.
I'm not one who believes the election is definitive proof of a major voter realignment, but if liberals continue to delude themselves by diagnosing Republicans as the ones who are arrogant rather than themselves, who knows what the future holds?
According to liberal logic, Republicans should act like losers when they lose and act like losers when they win. President Bush, having run on an agenda of staying the course in Iraq, making his tax cuts permanent, and injecting a measure of private ownership in the Social Security system, should abandon all three goals.
David Limbaugh: I'm struck by the irony of the liberal punditry warning Republicans not to interpret their sweeping victories as a mandate because such "arrogance" could lead to a voter backlash.
In the very process of obsessing over what Republicans might do and become in the future, liberals are blinding themselves to what they have already done and become.
They are lecturing Republicans about copping an arrogant attitude when they are so deeply steeped in one themselves they can't accurately interpret their own reflection in the election mirror.
A recent Chicago Tribune headline reads: "Beware perils of overreaching, GOP is warned. Analysts say agenda could backfire." The article quotes Illinois Democratic Congressman and former Clinton insider Rahm Emanuel as saying, "If you don't think you are going to be accountable and there are no consequences for what you do, it'll lead to overreaching."
For a while I thought some liberals were beginning to grasp that for now, at least, they are the ones who are out of step with the American people; they are the ones who ought to be engaging in self-evaluation rather than projecting their losses onto Republicans.
But they still don't get it. They can't get past the political gamesmanship of it all -- an indelible stain on their psyche from the Clinton years. In their mind's eye the election results were all about political strategy and packaging rather than the merits of the issues -- about form over substance.
Happily, the liberals' failure to come to terms with their own predicament is leading them to put all their future hopes on Republicans imploding rather than making the necessary adjustments to make their own message more palatable, in substance not just appearance, to the voters.
I'm not one who believes the election is definitive proof of a major voter realignment, but if liberals continue to delude themselves by diagnosing Republicans as the ones who are arrogant rather than themselves, who knows what the future holds?
Pictures Of The Day
More great pictures from You. The new website "Pictures Of The Day", will give us a place to share your pictures with others.
Arafat's Virgins
More great pictures from You. The new website "Pictures Of The Day", will give us a place to share your pictures with others.
Arafat's Virgins
Leno
Did you have a nice Thanksgiving? Or as I call it "When Relatives Attack”.
Do you ever notice the day after Thanksgiving that your fridge looks like a crime scene out of "CSI”? There’s a skeleton in there, globs of blood…
And did you notice that the older you get the earlier you eat on Thanksgiving? It was 6:30 when I was a kid. Then it was 4:30 when I was in college. Now the relatives want to eat in bed.
I have an idea for next year. I’m going to put a sign on the house that says "drive thru” and just hand the food to the relatives through a window.
Did you hear about the man out east that stabbed two relatives after they criticized his table manners? The worst part about it – he used the wrong knife.
After that wouldn’t that make Christmas dinner really awkward?
I watched some touch football yesterday – the Detroit Lions.
Peyton Manning threw four touchdowns yesterday in the win over the Lions. What was the score? 41 to 9? He did all that while eating a turkey leg even!
That marked the second time in a week that a professional team from Indianapolis kicked around a team in Detroit.
The Pistons have a new question for people buying beer at the games – is that for here or to throw?
Rumors are going around on who CBS will replace Dan Rather with. I think CBS will surprise everyone by picking a middle age white guy.
Letterman
It’s the day after Thanksgiving. The busiest shopping day of the year. I went to the mall and I was pushed, I was shoved, I was groped, I was fondled – hell, I’m going back tomorrow.
I hope you all had a wonderful Thanksgiving. The bad thing about eating too much food on Thanksgiving is that you don’t have much room left over for binge drinking.
Thanksgiving at my house is like a Pistons game with pie!
Mom spent all day in the kitchen – or as she calls it a bio terror lab.
Turkey can make you sleepy. Here’s what mom does. On one side of the turkey she puts a nicotine patch on it before placing it in the oven.
Thanksgiving is the first time of the year that I get to see Uncle Earl. As usual he gets kind of distracted and wanders into the living room and yells, "Put on Andy Williams!”
Then there was a strange moment when Uncle Earl stood up at the table and made a McGreevey type announcement.
This year the Butterball Hotline had more calls than ever. Most of them were creepy calls from Bill O’Reilly.
Did you have a nice Thanksgiving? Or as I call it "When Relatives Attack”.
Do you ever notice the day after Thanksgiving that your fridge looks like a crime scene out of "CSI”? There’s a skeleton in there, globs of blood…
And did you notice that the older you get the earlier you eat on Thanksgiving? It was 6:30 when I was a kid. Then it was 4:30 when I was in college. Now the relatives want to eat in bed.
I have an idea for next year. I’m going to put a sign on the house that says "drive thru” and just hand the food to the relatives through a window.
Did you hear about the man out east that stabbed two relatives after they criticized his table manners? The worst part about it – he used the wrong knife.
After that wouldn’t that make Christmas dinner really awkward?
I watched some touch football yesterday – the Detroit Lions.
Peyton Manning threw four touchdowns yesterday in the win over the Lions. What was the score? 41 to 9? He did all that while eating a turkey leg even!
That marked the second time in a week that a professional team from Indianapolis kicked around a team in Detroit.
The Pistons have a new question for people buying beer at the games – is that for here or to throw?
Rumors are going around on who CBS will replace Dan Rather with. I think CBS will surprise everyone by picking a middle age white guy.
Letterman
It’s the day after Thanksgiving. The busiest shopping day of the year. I went to the mall and I was pushed, I was shoved, I was groped, I was fondled – hell, I’m going back tomorrow.
I hope you all had a wonderful Thanksgiving. The bad thing about eating too much food on Thanksgiving is that you don’t have much room left over for binge drinking.
Thanksgiving at my house is like a Pistons game with pie!
Mom spent all day in the kitchen – or as she calls it a bio terror lab.
Turkey can make you sleepy. Here’s what mom does. On one side of the turkey she puts a nicotine patch on it before placing it in the oven.
Thanksgiving is the first time of the year that I get to see Uncle Earl. As usual he gets kind of distracted and wanders into the living room and yells, "Put on Andy Williams!”
Then there was a strange moment when Uncle Earl stood up at the table and made a McGreevey type announcement.
This year the Butterball Hotline had more calls than ever. Most of them were creepy calls from Bill O’Reilly.
Monday, November 29, 2004
Blind car thief strikes again
Ananova: Police have arrested Romania's blind car thief for stealing a car and crashing into a tree for the second time in one month.
But this time, Alin Prica, 24, managed to drive the stolen car 25 miles before crashing into a tree, reports Adevarul newspaper.
Prica allegedly stole the car with another blind pal and a sighted friend in the passenger seat telling him which direction to drive.
A police spokesman said: "He drove the car following instructions from his friend who could see."
"But again the journey ended with a crash. We were astonished for the second time in a month by this same man."
Earlier this month, Prica, from Izvoare, in southwest Romania, stole a car and managed to drive it for almost a mile by himself before smashing into a tree and knocking himself out.
He said at the time: "I just wanted to prove to myself that I could do anything I wanted - despite my handicap. I only crashed because I was not sure of the way home."
Police said they would not press charges against the two teenagers who helped but have taken Prica in for questioning.
Ananova: Police have arrested Romania's blind car thief for stealing a car and crashing into a tree for the second time in one month.
But this time, Alin Prica, 24, managed to drive the stolen car 25 miles before crashing into a tree, reports Adevarul newspaper.
Prica allegedly stole the car with another blind pal and a sighted friend in the passenger seat telling him which direction to drive.
A police spokesman said: "He drove the car following instructions from his friend who could see."
"But again the journey ended with a crash. We were astonished for the second time in a month by this same man."
Earlier this month, Prica, from Izvoare, in southwest Romania, stole a car and managed to drive it for almost a mile by himself before smashing into a tree and knocking himself out.
He said at the time: "I just wanted to prove to myself that I could do anything I wanted - despite my handicap. I only crashed because I was not sure of the way home."
Police said they would not press charges against the two teenagers who helped but have taken Prica in for questioning.
Sunday, November 28, 2004
Blood Is Thicker Than Gravy
Maureen Dowd (A Liberal in a NY Times Article): People often ask me why President Bush inspires such passionate support. My brother Kevin, a salesman who lives in Montgomery County, Md., can answer that; here is a recent e-mail message, trimmed for space, he sent to friends:
Ladies and Gentlemen,
Now, just as four years ago, I breathe a huge sigh of relief and rejoice in the common sense of the American voting public. Congratulations to President Bush for winning re-election in a poker game played with a stacked deck.
No candidate, including Richard Nixon, ever had to endure the biased and unfair tactics of our major media in their attempt to influence the outcome of an election.
He never complained, just systematically set about delivering the same consistent message. You may remember that four years ago, I felt physically ill watching the Democrats try to legislate their way to the presidency. ...
A very big thank you to Michael Moore, Susan Sarandon, Rob Reiner, Bill Maher, Barbra Streisand, Alec Baldwin, Al Franken and Jon Stewart for your involvement. You certainly energized the base. Now, please have the courage of your convictions and leave the country.
To Bob Shrum - Cut your fee.
To Mike McCurry, Joe Lockhart and Paul Begala - You don't seem quite as smart without a great candidate.
To The New York Times and The Washington Post - If Bush and Reagan were so stupid, how did they both go four for four in elections involving two of our biggest states and the presidency without your endorsement?
We do not live in a secular country. There are all sorts of people of faith that place moral values over personal freedoms. They are not all 'wacky evangelicals.'
They don't like being told the Pledge of Allegiance, a moment of silent prayer and the words 'under God' are offensive to an enlightened few so nobody should be allowed to use them.
To Dan Rather - Good luck in your retirement.
To Gavin Newsom - Thanks for all of the great shots of the San Francisco couples embracing their mates at City Hall in direct defiance of the law.
To P. Diddy - 'Vote or Die' might need a little work.
To John Edwards - Thanks for being there.
To my friends - only 1,460 days until the next election. Stay vigilant. The Democrats, CBS, the NY Times and the Post may think Hillary is the perfect antidote for all those 'stupid' voters out there.
Best regards, Kevin"
Maureen Dowd (A Liberal in a NY Times Article): People often ask me why President Bush inspires such passionate support. My brother Kevin, a salesman who lives in Montgomery County, Md., can answer that; here is a recent e-mail message, trimmed for space, he sent to friends:
Ladies and Gentlemen,
Now, just as four years ago, I breathe a huge sigh of relief and rejoice in the common sense of the American voting public. Congratulations to President Bush for winning re-election in a poker game played with a stacked deck.
No candidate, including Richard Nixon, ever had to endure the biased and unfair tactics of our major media in their attempt to influence the outcome of an election.
He never complained, just systematically set about delivering the same consistent message. You may remember that four years ago, I felt physically ill watching the Democrats try to legislate their way to the presidency. ...
A very big thank you to Michael Moore, Susan Sarandon, Rob Reiner, Bill Maher, Barbra Streisand, Alec Baldwin, Al Franken and Jon Stewart for your involvement. You certainly energized the base. Now, please have the courage of your convictions and leave the country.
To Bob Shrum - Cut your fee.
To Mike McCurry, Joe Lockhart and Paul Begala - You don't seem quite as smart without a great candidate.
To The New York Times and The Washington Post - If Bush and Reagan were so stupid, how did they both go four for four in elections involving two of our biggest states and the presidency without your endorsement?
We do not live in a secular country. There are all sorts of people of faith that place moral values over personal freedoms. They are not all 'wacky evangelicals.'
They don't like being told the Pledge of Allegiance, a moment of silent prayer and the words 'under God' are offensive to an enlightened few so nobody should be allowed to use them.
To Dan Rather - Good luck in your retirement.
To Gavin Newsom - Thanks for all of the great shots of the San Francisco couples embracing their mates at City Hall in direct defiance of the law.
To P. Diddy - 'Vote or Die' might need a little work.
To John Edwards - Thanks for being there.
To my friends - only 1,460 days until the next election. Stay vigilant. The Democrats, CBS, the NY Times and the Post may think Hillary is the perfect antidote for all those 'stupid' voters out there.
Best regards, Kevin"
Pictures Of The Day
More great pictures from You. The new website "Pictures Of The Day", will give us a place to share your pictures with others.
8 Billion Day
More great pictures from You. The new website "Pictures Of The Day", will give us a place to share your pictures with others.
8 Billion Day
Letterman
Did you watch the big Macys Thanksgiving Day Parade? It takes 54 people to work the giant balloons with tethers. It’s the same way they get Michael Moore into his pants.
Every year there is some problem at the parade. This year someone threw a beer at Santa and he went into the stands and punched some guy.
The whole Letterman family is up at the house to celebrate. It happened again. Around 6:00 AM this morning I hear bottles rattling, cans crashing, doors slamming – I had to yell to mom, "I hide the booze!”
We were sitting at the dinner table and mom said that she had lost her cell phone. Then the turkey started to vibrate.
Mom isn’t the best cook. So each year we make a side dish of Pepto Bismal.
Eating turkey can make you drowsy and tired. So here’s what mom does. She has a secret. She stuffs the turkey with a tablespoon of crack!
There was one really bad moment when I went into the kitchen and saw Uncle Earl trimming his nose hairs with the electric knife.
Did you watch the big Macys Thanksgiving Day Parade? It takes 54 people to work the giant balloons with tethers. It’s the same way they get Michael Moore into his pants.
Every year there is some problem at the parade. This year someone threw a beer at Santa and he went into the stands and punched some guy.
The whole Letterman family is up at the house to celebrate. It happened again. Around 6:00 AM this morning I hear bottles rattling, cans crashing, doors slamming – I had to yell to mom, "I hide the booze!”
We were sitting at the dinner table and mom said that she had lost her cell phone. Then the turkey started to vibrate.
Mom isn’t the best cook. So each year we make a side dish of Pepto Bismal.
Eating turkey can make you drowsy and tired. So here’s what mom does. She has a secret. She stuffs the turkey with a tablespoon of crack!
There was one really bad moment when I went into the kitchen and saw Uncle Earl trimming his nose hairs with the electric knife.
Saturday, November 27, 2004
With Election Over, We'll Hearing Positive News
The economy was just as good a month ago as it is today. The economy was just as good three months ago as it is today. The difference is, they're now telling us what we knew all along.
The economy was smoking. But it didn't fit the template that George Bush wanted to harm people economically, that Bush only wanted to help the rich and so the picture had to be painted of how down and destitute everybody was. Oh, woe is America!
Rush: Shortly after the election, what did I tell you? I said, "It won't be long before we'll start hearing the truth about the economy," right? And I said, "It won't be long before we start hearing about how good things are going in Iraq, and it won't be long before we start hearing other positive news," and lo and behold there was some positive news.
"At Hofstra University's jobs fair and at college campuses nationwide, there's a growing optimism about the jobs picture for graduating seniors. A new study out Thursday by Michigan State University predicts a 20 percent increase in hiring for this year's grads — the first increase in four years."
Well, Shazam! Do you folks realize -- what is this, November the 24th? -- why, it was only 30 days ago that we were all just a paycheck away from soup lines. There were no jobs to be had, and what jobs there were to be had were no better than hamburger flipper jobs.
They were low-paying jobs because of outsourcing and all of this horror that was happening in the U.S. economy. There was no future for anybody. We needed to raise the minimum wage. Oh, woe is us! What happened to our once great country?
Now the election is over and college graduates have some of the finest job prospects in the past four years.
Optimism's nourished by the truth. I'm just telling you, you're going to start seeing a little bit more. There will be a trickling out of more good news about areas of our country that just a month ago we were on our deathbed, folks. And it was Bush that was going to pull the trigger on all of us. It was up to John Kerry and the Democrats to save our future.
The economy was just as good a month ago as it is today. The economy was just as good three months ago as it is today. The difference is, they're now telling us what we knew all along.
The economy was smoking. But it didn't fit the template that George Bush wanted to harm people economically, that Bush only wanted to help the rich and so the picture had to be painted of how down and destitute everybody was. Oh, woe is America!
Rush: Shortly after the election, what did I tell you? I said, "It won't be long before we'll start hearing the truth about the economy," right? And I said, "It won't be long before we start hearing about how good things are going in Iraq, and it won't be long before we start hearing other positive news," and lo and behold there was some positive news.
"At Hofstra University's jobs fair and at college campuses nationwide, there's a growing optimism about the jobs picture for graduating seniors. A new study out Thursday by Michigan State University predicts a 20 percent increase in hiring for this year's grads — the first increase in four years."
Well, Shazam! Do you folks realize -- what is this, November the 24th? -- why, it was only 30 days ago that we were all just a paycheck away from soup lines. There were no jobs to be had, and what jobs there were to be had were no better than hamburger flipper jobs.
They were low-paying jobs because of outsourcing and all of this horror that was happening in the U.S. economy. There was no future for anybody. We needed to raise the minimum wage. Oh, woe is us! What happened to our once great country?
Now the election is over and college graduates have some of the finest job prospects in the past four years.
Optimism's nourished by the truth. I'm just telling you, you're going to start seeing a little bit more. There will be a trickling out of more good news about areas of our country that just a month ago we were on our deathbed, folks. And it was Bush that was going to pull the trigger on all of us. It was up to John Kerry and the Democrats to save our future.
Leno
I’m sure you heard about this - the Republicans have won yet another seat: Dan Rather’s! He’s leaving CBS.
In fact, when Dan Rather announced he was leaving, President Bush said, "I didn't even know he was in my Cabinet."
Dan Rather said stepping down was the hardest thing he ever had to announce in his career. Actually, the second-hardest. The hardest thing he had to announce? Bush being re-elected.
Dan Rather said today that his decision to retire has nothing to do with the controversy over those fake National Guard documents. That’s kind of like Yasser Arafat saying his decision to step down had nothing to do with him dying.
George Bush said today he was very sorry to hear that Dan Rather was leaving and then he said, "By the way Dan, those National Guard documents ... they were real!"
Boy, there’s a lot of changes in the nightly newscasts. Tom Brokaw stepping down. Dan Rather stepping down. Soon the most trusted man in television could wind up being Geraldo Rivera.
I had a horrible nightmare last night. You ever have one of those where you wake up sweating and shaking? I dreamed it was nickel beer night at the Detroit Pistons game.
The Pacers played the Celtics last night and won. Actually, they hit 40 percent of their shots and 20 percent of their fans.
The Pacers easily beat the Celtics – and that’s my hometown, so I feel bad – 106 to 96. Which is embarrassing for Boston. Indiana has lost so many stars they were down to using the white guys.
It turns out that the Detroit Pistons fan who allegedly threw that beer at Ron Artest was on probation for a DUI ... he has a police record that also includes assault, fraud and carrying a concealed weapon. This guy shouldn’t have been in the stands at an NBA game - he should’ve been on the court.
Because of his actions, the Pistons are revoking the guy’s season tickets. Hey, if they really want to punish him, they should give him season tickets to see the Chicago Bulls. That’ll teach him a lesson.
Kobe Bryant commented on the situation today. He was very upset. He said that "you should never attack a fan until you get back to the hotel."
This is really awful, don’t you think? Players attacking fans. I liked it better in old days when players would just choke the coach. What happened to those days?
Ron Artest said in a radio interview that he feels that his season-long suspension is too harsh of a punishment. He thought it was too harsh getting suspended for the whole season. And today Scott Peterson said, "I’ll take it!"
I tell you, I’m on the Atkins diet this year. This Thanksgiving, I’m serving 18 pounds of bacon in the shape of a turkey. It’s healthier.
They say a record number of Americans will deep-fry their turkeys this year. You know the hardest part about deep-frying the turkey? Keeping it separate in the fryer from the doughnuts and the onion rings. Then you get the doughnut smell on the skin.
The U.S. Postal Service is reportedly considering raising the price of a stamp. Right now a stamp is 37-cents, and they’re doing a study to see if there’s an even more annoying amount. Like 43 cents. Then you’ll need a quarter, a dime, a nickel and three pennies.
Some sad news here at NBC. The show "LAX" has been canceled. Actually, we don’t use the word "canceled." They said the show departed ahead of schedule.
It was kind of cruel how they told the cast and crew. They walked on the set and said, "The exits are located here, here and here."
Clay Aiken is doing a Christmas special for NBC. In a touching scene, he helps the poor and unfortunate: Justin Guarini.
Michael Jackson’s brother Jermaine Jackson has filed for divorce from his wife. Here’s the odd part: Michael has asked for custody of the children.
Letterman
Dan Rather is going to retire in May. He is stepping down after 24 years. That makes it official – I’m now the weirdest guy on CBS!
Don’t worry about Dan. In 2009 he takes over for Jay Leno.
How about Oprah Winfrey? On Monday everybody in her audience received $15,000 in free gifts. What’s the matter ... did you run out of cars, you cheapskate?!
Did you hear about this guy in Maine? He was driving a truck, but naked. He drove through three towns naked, in the wrong direction, and was speeding before crashing into a police car. Driving naked, the wrong way and speeding. Basically, this guy is me without a show.
New York Governor George Pataki might be the next director of Homeland Security. He’s at home right now memorizing the color chart.
President Bush has asked for a 50 percent increase in the number of spies and intelligence at the CIA. Apparently he’s not getting enough memos to ignore.
Martha Stewart has been in prison now for seven weeks. She’ll be spending Thanksgiving in prison instead of with family. Some people have all the luck!
Conan
Ron Artest has been giving a lot of interviews since it was announced he’s been suspended from the NBA. He’s been spending his free time promoting his new rap CD. It’s the perfect holiday gift to hit someone over the head with.
There was a jewel robbery at Ozzy Osbourne’s house. Police say it may have been an inside job. When Ozzy heard this, he became upset and asked, "Was it me?!" He then fell down and slept for nine days.
A 72-year-old great-grandma that works in the CIA is heading to Iraq. When asked about going to Iraq, the grandma said, "It’s been a long time since I’ve been to Mesopotamia."
I’m sure you heard about this - the Republicans have won yet another seat: Dan Rather’s! He’s leaving CBS.
In fact, when Dan Rather announced he was leaving, President Bush said, "I didn't even know he was in my Cabinet."
Dan Rather said stepping down was the hardest thing he ever had to announce in his career. Actually, the second-hardest. The hardest thing he had to announce? Bush being re-elected.
Dan Rather said today that his decision to retire has nothing to do with the controversy over those fake National Guard documents. That’s kind of like Yasser Arafat saying his decision to step down had nothing to do with him dying.
George Bush said today he was very sorry to hear that Dan Rather was leaving and then he said, "By the way Dan, those National Guard documents ... they were real!"
Boy, there’s a lot of changes in the nightly newscasts. Tom Brokaw stepping down. Dan Rather stepping down. Soon the most trusted man in television could wind up being Geraldo Rivera.
I had a horrible nightmare last night. You ever have one of those where you wake up sweating and shaking? I dreamed it was nickel beer night at the Detroit Pistons game.
The Pacers played the Celtics last night and won. Actually, they hit 40 percent of their shots and 20 percent of their fans.
The Pacers easily beat the Celtics – and that’s my hometown, so I feel bad – 106 to 96. Which is embarrassing for Boston. Indiana has lost so many stars they were down to using the white guys.
It turns out that the Detroit Pistons fan who allegedly threw that beer at Ron Artest was on probation for a DUI ... he has a police record that also includes assault, fraud and carrying a concealed weapon. This guy shouldn’t have been in the stands at an NBA game - he should’ve been on the court.
Because of his actions, the Pistons are revoking the guy’s season tickets. Hey, if they really want to punish him, they should give him season tickets to see the Chicago Bulls. That’ll teach him a lesson.
Kobe Bryant commented on the situation today. He was very upset. He said that "you should never attack a fan until you get back to the hotel."
This is really awful, don’t you think? Players attacking fans. I liked it better in old days when players would just choke the coach. What happened to those days?
Ron Artest said in a radio interview that he feels that his season-long suspension is too harsh of a punishment. He thought it was too harsh getting suspended for the whole season. And today Scott Peterson said, "I’ll take it!"
I tell you, I’m on the Atkins diet this year. This Thanksgiving, I’m serving 18 pounds of bacon in the shape of a turkey. It’s healthier.
They say a record number of Americans will deep-fry their turkeys this year. You know the hardest part about deep-frying the turkey? Keeping it separate in the fryer from the doughnuts and the onion rings. Then you get the doughnut smell on the skin.
The U.S. Postal Service is reportedly considering raising the price of a stamp. Right now a stamp is 37-cents, and they’re doing a study to see if there’s an even more annoying amount. Like 43 cents. Then you’ll need a quarter, a dime, a nickel and three pennies.
Some sad news here at NBC. The show "LAX" has been canceled. Actually, we don’t use the word "canceled." They said the show departed ahead of schedule.
It was kind of cruel how they told the cast and crew. They walked on the set and said, "The exits are located here, here and here."
Clay Aiken is doing a Christmas special for NBC. In a touching scene, he helps the poor and unfortunate: Justin Guarini.
Michael Jackson’s brother Jermaine Jackson has filed for divorce from his wife. Here’s the odd part: Michael has asked for custody of the children.
Letterman
Dan Rather is going to retire in May. He is stepping down after 24 years. That makes it official – I’m now the weirdest guy on CBS!
Don’t worry about Dan. In 2009 he takes over for Jay Leno.
How about Oprah Winfrey? On Monday everybody in her audience received $15,000 in free gifts. What’s the matter ... did you run out of cars, you cheapskate?!
Did you hear about this guy in Maine? He was driving a truck, but naked. He drove through three towns naked, in the wrong direction, and was speeding before crashing into a police car. Driving naked, the wrong way and speeding. Basically, this guy is me without a show.
New York Governor George Pataki might be the next director of Homeland Security. He’s at home right now memorizing the color chart.
President Bush has asked for a 50 percent increase in the number of spies and intelligence at the CIA. Apparently he’s not getting enough memos to ignore.
Martha Stewart has been in prison now for seven weeks. She’ll be spending Thanksgiving in prison instead of with family. Some people have all the luck!
Conan
Ron Artest has been giving a lot of interviews since it was announced he’s been suspended from the NBA. He’s been spending his free time promoting his new rap CD. It’s the perfect holiday gift to hit someone over the head with.
There was a jewel robbery at Ozzy Osbourne’s house. Police say it may have been an inside job. When Ozzy heard this, he became upset and asked, "Was it me?!" He then fell down and slept for nine days.
A 72-year-old great-grandma that works in the CIA is heading to Iraq. When asked about going to Iraq, the grandma said, "It’s been a long time since I’ve been to Mesopotamia."
Friday, November 26, 2004
Pictures Of The Day
More great pictures from You. The new website "Pictures Of The Day", will give us a place to share your pictures with others.
Thanksgiving
More great pictures from You. The new website "Pictures Of The Day", will give us a place to share your pictures with others.
Thanksgiving
Leno
Dan Rather announced that he’s stepping down as the anchor of the CBS Evening News. I had a feeling something was coming yesterday when he signed off with, "I’m Dan Rather and you can all bite me.”
Before we get started, I want to make an announcement. To avoid any trouble, we’re cutting off beer sales after the seventh monologue joke to avoid any trouble.
But he’s not leaving show business. I guess he has a lot of offers. He might host the show "Ripley’s Believe It or Not."
I guess you heard, Dan Rather announced today that he’s stepping down as anchor of the CBS News. Though rather said he hasn’t been able to verify it yet. So it’s not official…
He uses all those Texas expressions. He said "He’d leave when the kettle starts whistling at the frying pan.” What does that mean?
Dan Rather said he looks forward to working as an investigative reporter "full time”. See, that’s how the whole forged documents story happened. He was only investigating part time. If he had been working on it full time it would have never happened.
He’s been there 24 years. That’s longer than any other news anchor. Walter Cronkite was only 19 years. When he started at CBS News, Andy Rooney’s eyebrows were only a foot long.
Finally some good news for Mike Tyson. He was drafted by the Pacers.
You know when I saw the footage of that fight at the NBA game last Friday, I really got confused. I figured, oh, thank God they settled the hockey strike.
Here’s some good news: police in Detroit have identified the man who threw the cup of beer on Artest. What’s really scary? Police went to his house today, and found a stockpile of 300 cups, and beer-making materials.
Let me tell you something, this thing is a huge pr nightmare for the NBA. In fact, they’re now calling Kobe’s arrest, "the good ol’ days”.
Bad news for Chicago Bulls fans. Not one of their players was suspended for the year. They gotta keep playing
The penalty phase in the Scott Peterson trial has now been delayed until after Thanksgiving. You know we Americans, we like to fatten them up before we kill them.
After pressure from the United States, it looks like up to 80% of Iraq’s debt will be forgiven by creditors. In a related story, today Donald Trump begged President Bush to invade his casinos. "Could you invade my casinos?!”
According to a new study in Japan, heavy computer use may be linked to eye disease. Isn’t that amazing? Now there’s two ways to go blind looking at porn.
Dennis Rodman is playing professional basketball again and they’re saying he could be back in the NBA by Christmas. Finally a voice of reason in pro sports.
In an interview in "Jane” magazine, 18 year old Lindsay Lohan said she actually enjoyed being in the hospital for exhaustion because she couldn’t work and nobody bothered her. Wow, is she going to love turning 40 in Hollywood.
"American Idol” runner up Clay Aiken has postponed three concerts on his Christmas tour because of vocal chord problems caused by an infection. A vocal chord problem? To which Ashlee Simpson said, "Why would that stop a concert?”
Letterman
The New York City Police Department has busted up a mob controlled limousine line. I think I rode in one of those limos once from the airport. I had to ride in the trunk.
If you’re visiting New York City, don’t worry you don’t have to take a mob limo. You can take an al-Qaeda run cab.
A company in Chicago has made the world’s largest slab of fudge. Its 2100 pounds! 2100 pounds of fudge. So between that and the wedding it’s been a couple of exciting weeks for Star Jones!
President Bush apparently ignored an intel memo on the Indiana Pacers.
On eBay a ten year old grilled cheese sandwich with the image of the Virgin Mary on it was sold for $28,000. And for an extra buck they threw in a drink and fries.
Dan Rather is stepping down in March from CBS News. He will be replaced by Conan O’Brien.
Conan
Ron Artest is still in the news. This morning he appeared on the "Today Show” to talk about his season ending suspension. There was a tense moment when he asked Matt Lauer if the people in the window were bothering him.
Yesterday Oprah surprised 300 people in her audience by giving them all a free washer and dryer. In a related story, more shocking was that 300 people were in the audience for the Maury Povich Show.
Dan Rather announced that he’s stepping down as the anchor of the CBS Evening News. I had a feeling something was coming yesterday when he signed off with, "I’m Dan Rather and you can all bite me.”
Before we get started, I want to make an announcement. To avoid any trouble, we’re cutting off beer sales after the seventh monologue joke to avoid any trouble.
But he’s not leaving show business. I guess he has a lot of offers. He might host the show "Ripley’s Believe It or Not."
I guess you heard, Dan Rather announced today that he’s stepping down as anchor of the CBS News. Though rather said he hasn’t been able to verify it yet. So it’s not official…
He uses all those Texas expressions. He said "He’d leave when the kettle starts whistling at the frying pan.” What does that mean?
Dan Rather said he looks forward to working as an investigative reporter "full time”. See, that’s how the whole forged documents story happened. He was only investigating part time. If he had been working on it full time it would have never happened.
He’s been there 24 years. That’s longer than any other news anchor. Walter Cronkite was only 19 years. When he started at CBS News, Andy Rooney’s eyebrows were only a foot long.
Finally some good news for Mike Tyson. He was drafted by the Pacers.
You know when I saw the footage of that fight at the NBA game last Friday, I really got confused. I figured, oh, thank God they settled the hockey strike.
Here’s some good news: police in Detroit have identified the man who threw the cup of beer on Artest. What’s really scary? Police went to his house today, and found a stockpile of 300 cups, and beer-making materials.
Let me tell you something, this thing is a huge pr nightmare for the NBA. In fact, they’re now calling Kobe’s arrest, "the good ol’ days”.
Bad news for Chicago Bulls fans. Not one of their players was suspended for the year. They gotta keep playing
The penalty phase in the Scott Peterson trial has now been delayed until after Thanksgiving. You know we Americans, we like to fatten them up before we kill them.
After pressure from the United States, it looks like up to 80% of Iraq’s debt will be forgiven by creditors. In a related story, today Donald Trump begged President Bush to invade his casinos. "Could you invade my casinos?!”
According to a new study in Japan, heavy computer use may be linked to eye disease. Isn’t that amazing? Now there’s two ways to go blind looking at porn.
Dennis Rodman is playing professional basketball again and they’re saying he could be back in the NBA by Christmas. Finally a voice of reason in pro sports.
In an interview in "Jane” magazine, 18 year old Lindsay Lohan said she actually enjoyed being in the hospital for exhaustion because she couldn’t work and nobody bothered her. Wow, is she going to love turning 40 in Hollywood.
"American Idol” runner up Clay Aiken has postponed three concerts on his Christmas tour because of vocal chord problems caused by an infection. A vocal chord problem? To which Ashlee Simpson said, "Why would that stop a concert?”
Letterman
The New York City Police Department has busted up a mob controlled limousine line. I think I rode in one of those limos once from the airport. I had to ride in the trunk.
If you’re visiting New York City, don’t worry you don’t have to take a mob limo. You can take an al-Qaeda run cab.
A company in Chicago has made the world’s largest slab of fudge. Its 2100 pounds! 2100 pounds of fudge. So between that and the wedding it’s been a couple of exciting weeks for Star Jones!
President Bush apparently ignored an intel memo on the Indiana Pacers.
On eBay a ten year old grilled cheese sandwich with the image of the Virgin Mary on it was sold for $28,000. And for an extra buck they threw in a drink and fries.
Dan Rather is stepping down in March from CBS News. He will be replaced by Conan O’Brien.
Conan
Ron Artest is still in the news. This morning he appeared on the "Today Show” to talk about his season ending suspension. There was a tense moment when he asked Matt Lauer if the people in the window were bothering him.
Yesterday Oprah surprised 300 people in her audience by giving them all a free washer and dryer. In a related story, more shocking was that 300 people were in the audience for the Maury Povich Show.
Thursday, November 25, 2004
The Parrot
(Sent to us by Martha Branson of Ga)
A young man named John received a parrot as A gift. The parrot had a
bad attitude and an even worse vocabulary. Every word out of the
bird's mouth was rude, obnoxious and laced with profanity.
John tried and tried to change the bird's attitude by consistently saying only polite words, playing soft music and anything else he could think of to
"clean up" the bird's vocabulary.
Finally, John was fed up and he yelled at the parrot. The parrot
yelled back. John shook the parrot and the parrot got angrier and even
ruder.
John, in desperation, threw up his hand, grabbed the bird and put
him in the freezer. For a few minutes the parrot squawked and kicked
and screamed.
Then suddenly there was total quiet. Not a peep was heard for over a minute.
Fearing that he'd hurt the parrot, John quickly opened the door to
the freezer.
The parrot calmly stepped out onto John's outstretched arms
and said "I believe I may have offended you with my rude language and
actions. I'm sincerely remorseful for my inappropriate transgressions
and I fully intend to do everything I can to correct my rude and
unforgivable behavior."
John was stunned at the change in the bird's attitude. As he was about
to ask the parrot what had made such a dramatic change in his behavior,
the bird continued, "May I ask what the turkey did?"
Thanks to Martha Branson of Ga
HAPPY THANKSGIVING!
(Sent to us by Martha Branson of Ga)
A young man named John received a parrot as A gift. The parrot had a
bad attitude and an even worse vocabulary. Every word out of the
bird's mouth was rude, obnoxious and laced with profanity.
John tried and tried to change the bird's attitude by consistently saying only polite words, playing soft music and anything else he could think of to
"clean up" the bird's vocabulary.
Finally, John was fed up and he yelled at the parrot. The parrot
yelled back. John shook the parrot and the parrot got angrier and even
ruder.
John, in desperation, threw up his hand, grabbed the bird and put
him in the freezer. For a few minutes the parrot squawked and kicked
and screamed.
Then suddenly there was total quiet. Not a peep was heard for over a minute.
Fearing that he'd hurt the parrot, John quickly opened the door to
the freezer.
The parrot calmly stepped out onto John's outstretched arms
and said "I believe I may have offended you with my rude language and
actions. I'm sincerely remorseful for my inappropriate transgressions
and I fully intend to do everything I can to correct my rude and
unforgivable behavior."
John was stunned at the change in the bird's attitude. As he was about
to ask the parrot what had made such a dramatic change in his behavior,
the bird continued, "May I ask what the turkey did?"
Thanks to Martha Branson of Ga
HAPPY THANKSGIVING!
Wednesday, November 24, 2004
The Day the "Blogosphere" Took Down Dan Rather
CBS's Dan Rather Jokes
(Started Sep 22, 2004)
(See Photo) Dan, Everyone Else Is Laughing
Rush: Is this bigger than Dan Rather? We can sit here, we can start making fun of this... and that is the next thing to happen. People are going to start making jokes about it, and they're going to be really funny jokes here and that's going to make the people at CBS even angrier.
Leno
Fall started this week. The fall of Dan Rather!
You know about this, right? CBS now admits they were misled by an unreliable source. I believe his name was "Daniel Rather."
We all know Dan Rather, now being called the man who put the ‘BS’ in CBS.
There are rumors that Dan Rather could lose his job over this. Wouldn’t that be ironic? Another American losing his job due to President Bush.
CBS news issued a statement today that said this will be the last time they buy documents off of Ebay.
Here’s some good news - unemployment is down to 5.4% but a lot of people are still looking for jobs. If you’re looking for a job in TV, I understand "60 Minutes” needs a fact checker.
CBS News has a new slogan…."it seems real to us.”
The big story this week continues to be these forged documents that turned up on "60 Minutes”. Or, as the Democrats call them, weapons of mass "distraction”!
As I’m sure you know, there was speculation now that someone may have intentionally duped Dan Rather and "60 Minutes” cast by passing them forged documents. Don’t you hate to see these scams that target the elderly? It is wrong!
I think Dan’s getting a little desperate. Like today he produced another witness. This time he brought out "Joan of Arcadia” and she said that god told her the documents were real.
Dan Rather finally acknowledged there are "unanswered questions.” The last time they had this many "unanswered questions” on a TV show, Jessica Simpson was on "Jeopardy”.
Let’s see what’s going on over at CBS News. CBS as of today which stands for "can’t backup story”.
Dan Rather admitted that he was misled about the authenticity of those documents. Dan was furious. In fact today he was talking about that 86 yr-old former Texas National Guard Secretary and he said, "The bitch set me up!”
Last night of course was the Emmy Awards. HBO won 32. NBC took home 8. And CBS News gave back 4.
Happy "TGIF” everybody – or as Republicans call it "thank God it’s a forgery”.
That was the big head in the "New York Times” said the CBS memos are "fake but accurate.” Fake but accurate? They’re like breasts in California. "Fake but accurate.”
CBS has a new slogan, "truth, you can't handle the truth!"
Today Dan Rather got some bad news, he's being investigated by "60 Minutes”.
On "60 Minutes” the other night Dan Rather interviewed the 86 year old former Texas National Guard Secretary. And Mike Wallace was furious. In fact he complained to "60 Minutes” producers, "How come Rather always gets to interview the hot chicks?!”
I don’t know what the big deal is about these phony documents, I mean the last election we had phony documents too. Remember in Florida they were called ballots.
A lot of new shows premiering this week. CBS has a new news magazine coming out….it’s called "Dan Rather’s Believe It or Not”.
You all know CBS, which stands for "Can't Believe Story”.
There seems to be more and more evidence that those documents about George Bush’s time in the National Guard that they showed on "60 Minutes” might be fake. In fact, on nightline, Ted Koppel said the Kerry campaign put this stuff out forgeries would be "unbelievably stupid.” You know what this means? Bush is the smart one.
I guess you’re familiar with these allegations that the bush National Guard records displayed on "60 Minutes” were fake. Hey, as long as we’re cracking down on fake stuff on "60 Minutes”, how about somebody looks into Mike Wallace’s hair? The guy is 86, it’s jet black! How did that happen?
Actually new documents surfaced proving that President Bush did not fulfill his National Guard service. CBS said they know they’re new because they were just printed over the weekend.
Did you hear this? "60 minutes” has a new policy. From now on they're going to spend at least "60 minutes” verifying their stories.
CBS's Dan Rather Jokes
(Started Sep 22, 2004)
(See Photo) Dan, Everyone Else Is Laughing
Rush: Is this bigger than Dan Rather? We can sit here, we can start making fun of this... and that is the next thing to happen. People are going to start making jokes about it, and they're going to be really funny jokes here and that's going to make the people at CBS even angrier.
Leno
Fall started this week. The fall of Dan Rather!
You know about this, right? CBS now admits they were misled by an unreliable source. I believe his name was "Daniel Rather."
We all know Dan Rather, now being called the man who put the ‘BS’ in CBS.
There are rumors that Dan Rather could lose his job over this. Wouldn’t that be ironic? Another American losing his job due to President Bush.
CBS news issued a statement today that said this will be the last time they buy documents off of Ebay.
Here’s some good news - unemployment is down to 5.4% but a lot of people are still looking for jobs. If you’re looking for a job in TV, I understand "60 Minutes” needs a fact checker.
CBS News has a new slogan…."it seems real to us.”
The big story this week continues to be these forged documents that turned up on "60 Minutes”. Or, as the Democrats call them, weapons of mass "distraction”!
As I’m sure you know, there was speculation now that someone may have intentionally duped Dan Rather and "60 Minutes” cast by passing them forged documents. Don’t you hate to see these scams that target the elderly? It is wrong!
I think Dan’s getting a little desperate. Like today he produced another witness. This time he brought out "Joan of Arcadia” and she said that god told her the documents were real.
Dan Rather finally acknowledged there are "unanswered questions.” The last time they had this many "unanswered questions” on a TV show, Jessica Simpson was on "Jeopardy”.
Let’s see what’s going on over at CBS News. CBS as of today which stands for "can’t backup story”.
Dan Rather admitted that he was misled about the authenticity of those documents. Dan was furious. In fact today he was talking about that 86 yr-old former Texas National Guard Secretary and he said, "The bitch set me up!”
Last night of course was the Emmy Awards. HBO won 32. NBC took home 8. And CBS News gave back 4.
Happy "TGIF” everybody – or as Republicans call it "thank God it’s a forgery”.
That was the big head in the "New York Times” said the CBS memos are "fake but accurate.” Fake but accurate? They’re like breasts in California. "Fake but accurate.”
CBS has a new slogan, "truth, you can't handle the truth!"
Today Dan Rather got some bad news, he's being investigated by "60 Minutes”.
On "60 Minutes” the other night Dan Rather interviewed the 86 year old former Texas National Guard Secretary. And Mike Wallace was furious. In fact he complained to "60 Minutes” producers, "How come Rather always gets to interview the hot chicks?!”
I don’t know what the big deal is about these phony documents, I mean the last election we had phony documents too. Remember in Florida they were called ballots.
A lot of new shows premiering this week. CBS has a new news magazine coming out….it’s called "Dan Rather’s Believe It or Not”.
You all know CBS, which stands for "Can't Believe Story”.
There seems to be more and more evidence that those documents about George Bush’s time in the National Guard that they showed on "60 Minutes” might be fake. In fact, on nightline, Ted Koppel said the Kerry campaign put this stuff out forgeries would be "unbelievably stupid.” You know what this means? Bush is the smart one.
I guess you’re familiar with these allegations that the bush National Guard records displayed on "60 Minutes” were fake. Hey, as long as we’re cracking down on fake stuff on "60 Minutes”, how about somebody looks into Mike Wallace’s hair? The guy is 86, it’s jet black! How did that happen?
Actually new documents surfaced proving that President Bush did not fulfill his National Guard service. CBS said they know they’re new because they were just printed over the weekend.
Did you hear this? "60 minutes” has a new policy. From now on they're going to spend at least "60 minutes” verifying their stories.
Pictures Of The Day
More great pictures from You. The new website "Pictures Of The Day", will give us a place to share your pictures with others.
Dan Everyone Else is Laughing
Bloggers Led Way in Ousting Rather
More great pictures from You. The new website "Pictures Of The Day", will give us a place to share your pictures with others.
Dan Everyone Else is Laughing
Bloggers Led Way in Ousting Rather
Three Wives Attempt Suicide After Argument
TEHRAN (Reuters) - All three wives of a 67-year-old Iranian man took overdoses in an unsuccessful triple suicide attempt after the youngest wife bought an expensive pair of boots, a news agency reported on Sunday.
"My two other wives were very jealous after my 27-year-old wife bought a pair of boots for $450," the husband was quoted as saying by the ISNA student news agency.
"After they had an argument about the price, they all attempted suicide together," he added.
All three women, now in stable condition in the hospital, have separate apartments and cars.
Men in Iran, where Islamic law has been in force since 1979, can marry up to four wives, although polygamy is fairly rare.
TEHRAN (Reuters) - All three wives of a 67-year-old Iranian man took overdoses in an unsuccessful triple suicide attempt after the youngest wife bought an expensive pair of boots, a news agency reported on Sunday.
"My two other wives were very jealous after my 27-year-old wife bought a pair of boots for $450," the husband was quoted as saying by the ISNA student news agency.
"After they had an argument about the price, they all attempted suicide together," he added.
All three women, now in stable condition in the hospital, have separate apartments and cars.
Men in Iran, where Islamic law has been in force since 1979, can marry up to four wives, although polygamy is fairly rare.
Tuesday, November 23, 2004
Notable Quatables
A bi-weekly compilation of the latest outrageous, sometimes humorous, quotes in the liberal media.
In Which Half Was He?
“I know a lot of you believe that most people in the news business are liberal. Let me tell you, I know a lot of them, and they were almost evenly divided this time. Half of them liked Senator Kerry; the other half hated President Bush.”
– CBS’s Andy Rooney on the November 7 60 Minutes.
Darn that Unbiased Dan Rather
“If Walter Cronkite was around today, I think John Kerry would be President.”
– USA Today founder Al Neuharth in a November 9 speech at Dakota Wesleyan University, as reported the next day by Harold Campbell in the Mitchell, South Dakota Daily Republic.
Bush Selected by Dumb Voters...
“I’m going, ‘Oh, my God, are children going to grow up stupid?’ And I don’t say that to them, but when I hear some of their answers to questions, I’m like, ‘They still think that Saddam Hussein blew up the World Trade Center!’ I’ve been all over the country, and I’m like, ‘Oh, my God, how could they miss this?’ And then I look at the election, and I’m going, ‘Well, of course our kids are not bright about these things because their parents aren’t.’”
– Former World News Tonight/Sunday anchor Carole Simpson, who now travels the country for ABC News to talk to high schoolers about how to consume news, at a National Press Club forum shown on C-SPAN, November 8.
A bi-weekly compilation of the latest outrageous, sometimes humorous, quotes in the liberal media.
In Which Half Was He?
“I know a lot of you believe that most people in the news business are liberal. Let me tell you, I know a lot of them, and they were almost evenly divided this time. Half of them liked Senator Kerry; the other half hated President Bush.”
– CBS’s Andy Rooney on the November 7 60 Minutes.
Darn that Unbiased Dan Rather
“If Walter Cronkite was around today, I think John Kerry would be President.”
– USA Today founder Al Neuharth in a November 9 speech at Dakota Wesleyan University, as reported the next day by Harold Campbell in the Mitchell, South Dakota Daily Republic.
Bush Selected by Dumb Voters...
“I’m going, ‘Oh, my God, are children going to grow up stupid?’ And I don’t say that to them, but when I hear some of their answers to questions, I’m like, ‘They still think that Saddam Hussein blew up the World Trade Center!’ I’ve been all over the country, and I’m like, ‘Oh, my God, how could they miss this?’ And then I look at the election, and I’m going, ‘Well, of course our kids are not bright about these things because their parents aren’t.’”
– Former World News Tonight/Sunday anchor Carole Simpson, who now travels the country for ABC News to talk to high schoolers about how to consume news, at a National Press Club forum shown on C-SPAN, November 8.
Pictures Of The Day
More great pictures from You. The new website "Pictures Of The Day", will give us a place to share your pictures with others.
Clinton Library
More great pictures from You. The new website "Pictures Of The Day", will give us a place to share your pictures with others.
Clinton Library
Leno
There’s talk in some political circles of amending the United States Constitution so Arnold Schwarzenegger could be president. But the Democrats are against it – first, they want the constitution changed so maybe a Democrat can maybe be president again.
Here’s some good news – U.S. forces have taken Fallujah. But experts say it will be hard to keep Iraq’s insurgents from going after people in other cities. It will be hard, hey, we can’t even keep the Indiana Pacers from going after people in other cities.
How many of you watched the new NBA reality show Friday? "Who wants to be attacked by a millionaire?”
Wasn’t that unbelievable? Did you see Indiana’s Ron Arrest, I mean Artest, go into the stands after that guy? You know at first when I saw an NBA player attacking a fan I thought, uh oh, Kobe must be dating again.
In fact this was the first sporting event in history where the nosebleed seats were down in front.
Today the Pacers unveiled their new slogan – "If you can’t beat ‘em, beat ‘em!”
David Stern the commissioner of basketball is not taking this lightly. Oh man, did you see his press conference? I understand he handed out nine suspensions and four Vibe Awards.
It was on this date in 1963 that President John F. Kennedy was assassinated. You know when I was growing up, everyone would always say "Where were you when Kennedy was shot?” Today the new head of the CIA said, "Kennedy has been shot?”
In a speech at the summit in Chile, President Bush said he will work hard to have a major guest worker program with Mexico so that we can fill empty jobs nobody wants. Like in his cabinet.
President Bush met with the president of Colombia today. Bush told the President of Colombia that Whitney and Bobby send their best. The president gave Bush a package for Bobby and Whitney.
As you know, the Clinton Library was opened last Thursday. And today the city council in Little Rock voted to shut it down. Turns out, the area is not zoned for adult businesses.
I’m sure you saw the Clinton Library? Pretty impressive. They say the collection consists of more than 80 million presidential items, many that vibrate.
The sentencing phase of the Scott Peterson trial began today. This would determine whether or not he gets the death penalty. Legal analysts said today that this phase of the trial is being watch very closely. Especially by Robert Blake.
Here’s an amazing story - NASA flew an unmanned jet that went almost 7,000 miles per hour. Ten times the speed of sound! Which means one day, a jet could go from N.Y. to Los Angeles in 20 minutes. Well, 21 minutes, there’d be a one minute layover in Atlanta.
The co-founder of Nike has stepped down after 36 years in charge. He’s being replaced by a 13-year-old Malaysian boy named Pago.
Here’s something we mentioned the other night – there’s a new generation of porno films coming out featuring married couples. Married people are appearing together in these porno films. And you can really tell their married. During foreplay one couple was talking about refinancing their house.
A company called castaway travel is now offering an all-nude vacation to Mexico which they say starts with a nude airline flight. Well that should speed things up at security.
Letterman
I had a rough weekend. I found out mom threw a beer at Ron Artest.
Did you see that melee at the Pacers and Pistons game? There was screaming, shoving, rioting – it was like Arafat’s funeral.
Ron Artest has been suspended for the incident. The good news – he has been chosen to host the Vibe Awards next year.
Artest will be out the whole season. 140 game suspension. That should give a glimmer of hope to the Knicks!
There’s talk in some political circles of amending the United States Constitution so Arnold Schwarzenegger could be president. But the Democrats are against it – first, they want the constitution changed so maybe a Democrat can maybe be president again.
Here’s some good news – U.S. forces have taken Fallujah. But experts say it will be hard to keep Iraq’s insurgents from going after people in other cities. It will be hard, hey, we can’t even keep the Indiana Pacers from going after people in other cities.
How many of you watched the new NBA reality show Friday? "Who wants to be attacked by a millionaire?”
Wasn’t that unbelievable? Did you see Indiana’s Ron Arrest, I mean Artest, go into the stands after that guy? You know at first when I saw an NBA player attacking a fan I thought, uh oh, Kobe must be dating again.
In fact this was the first sporting event in history where the nosebleed seats were down in front.
Today the Pacers unveiled their new slogan – "If you can’t beat ‘em, beat ‘em!”
David Stern the commissioner of basketball is not taking this lightly. Oh man, did you see his press conference? I understand he handed out nine suspensions and four Vibe Awards.
It was on this date in 1963 that President John F. Kennedy was assassinated. You know when I was growing up, everyone would always say "Where were you when Kennedy was shot?” Today the new head of the CIA said, "Kennedy has been shot?”
In a speech at the summit in Chile, President Bush said he will work hard to have a major guest worker program with Mexico so that we can fill empty jobs nobody wants. Like in his cabinet.
President Bush met with the president of Colombia today. Bush told the President of Colombia that Whitney and Bobby send their best. The president gave Bush a package for Bobby and Whitney.
As you know, the Clinton Library was opened last Thursday. And today the city council in Little Rock voted to shut it down. Turns out, the area is not zoned for adult businesses.
I’m sure you saw the Clinton Library? Pretty impressive. They say the collection consists of more than 80 million presidential items, many that vibrate.
The sentencing phase of the Scott Peterson trial began today. This would determine whether or not he gets the death penalty. Legal analysts said today that this phase of the trial is being watch very closely. Especially by Robert Blake.
Here’s an amazing story - NASA flew an unmanned jet that went almost 7,000 miles per hour. Ten times the speed of sound! Which means one day, a jet could go from N.Y. to Los Angeles in 20 minutes. Well, 21 minutes, there’d be a one minute layover in Atlanta.
The co-founder of Nike has stepped down after 36 years in charge. He’s being replaced by a 13-year-old Malaysian boy named Pago.
Here’s something we mentioned the other night – there’s a new generation of porno films coming out featuring married couples. Married people are appearing together in these porno films. And you can really tell their married. During foreplay one couple was talking about refinancing their house.
A company called castaway travel is now offering an all-nude vacation to Mexico which they say starts with a nude airline flight. Well that should speed things up at security.
Letterman
I had a rough weekend. I found out mom threw a beer at Ron Artest.
Did you see that melee at the Pacers and Pistons game? There was screaming, shoving, rioting – it was like Arafat’s funeral.
Ron Artest has been suspended for the incident. The good news – he has been chosen to host the Vibe Awards next year.
Artest will be out the whole season. 140 game suspension. That should give a glimmer of hope to the Knicks!
Monday, November 22, 2004
French Terrorists Fighting U.S. in Iraq
Terrorists battling U.S. troops in places like Fallujah, Mosul and Ramadi include Abu Musab al Zarqawi's mass murderers, holdouts from Saddam's Baathist regime, Iranian sympathizers - and a handful of French nationals.
"Authorities estimate that around a dozen Frenchmen of North African or Arab background have traveled to Iraq to join the insurgency," reports the BBC.
While the French army has yet to spill a drop of blood in the cause of liberating Iraq, three Frenchmen have been killed in recent months while fighting side-by-side with terrorists against the U.S.
Officials told the BBC that the men probably traveled to Iraq via Syria. but that there is no proof of an organized recruitment network. A recent report in the French newspaper Le Figaro, however, claims otherwise, suggesting that the pro-terrorist French fighters were helped to cross into Iraq by contacts in Syria.
In a related development, French President Jacques Chirac said last week that the U.S.'s decision to topple Saddam has made the world more dangerous.
"Is the world any safer [after Saddam's removal]? I'm not so sure," Chirac told the BBC. "To a certain extent Saddam Hussein's departure was a positive thing, but it also provoked reactions, such as the mobilization in a number of countries of men and women of Islam, which has made the world more dangerous."
Terrorists battling U.S. troops in places like Fallujah, Mosul and Ramadi include Abu Musab al Zarqawi's mass murderers, holdouts from Saddam's Baathist regime, Iranian sympathizers - and a handful of French nationals.
"Authorities estimate that around a dozen Frenchmen of North African or Arab background have traveled to Iraq to join the insurgency," reports the BBC.
While the French army has yet to spill a drop of blood in the cause of liberating Iraq, three Frenchmen have been killed in recent months while fighting side-by-side with terrorists against the U.S.
Officials told the BBC that the men probably traveled to Iraq via Syria. but that there is no proof of an organized recruitment network. A recent report in the French newspaper Le Figaro, however, claims otherwise, suggesting that the pro-terrorist French fighters were helped to cross into Iraq by contacts in Syria.
In a related development, French President Jacques Chirac said last week that the U.S.'s decision to topple Saddam has made the world more dangerous.
"Is the world any safer [after Saddam's removal]? I'm not so sure," Chirac told the BBC. "To a certain extent Saddam Hussein's departure was a positive thing, but it also provoked reactions, such as the mobilization in a number of countries of men and women of Islam, which has made the world more dangerous."
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Liberal Democrat
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Liberal Democrat
Letterman
Happy Birthday today to Mickey Mouse! 76 years old today. Mickey Mouse of course lives in Laguna Beach with his long time friend Mighty Mouse.
Another celebrity birthday. Happy 71st birthday to Larry King. He celebrated this year as he does every year with a few close wives.
I like it when Larry King has a birthday. It keeps me from being the world’s oldest dad.
It was cold today. It was colder than what you think. I went on a walk for my lunch break and saw a guy in the park cut a hole in the ice to urinate in the reservoir.
Good news, mom has made a smooth transition from Scott Petterson to Robert Blake.
Jury selection for the Robert Blake case has begun. Under law Blake is to be judged by a jury of his peers which would be 12 unemployed homicidal actors.
Which those are not that hard to find in L.A.
Happy Birthday today to Mickey Mouse! 76 years old today. Mickey Mouse of course lives in Laguna Beach with his long time friend Mighty Mouse.
Another celebrity birthday. Happy 71st birthday to Larry King. He celebrated this year as he does every year with a few close wives.
I like it when Larry King has a birthday. It keeps me from being the world’s oldest dad.
It was cold today. It was colder than what you think. I went on a walk for my lunch break and saw a guy in the park cut a hole in the ice to urinate in the reservoir.
Good news, mom has made a smooth transition from Scott Petterson to Robert Blake.
Jury selection for the Robert Blake case has begun. Under law Blake is to be judged by a jury of his peers which would be 12 unemployed homicidal actors.
Which those are not that hard to find in L.A.
Sunday, November 21, 2004
Spies and Diplomats, Stop Whining And Do Your Jobs
Now is the time for these public servants to return to doing the jobs the public pays them to do. The intelligence agencies must find better ways to ferret out useful information and supply it to the White House – whose occupant has been re-elected by a majority of Americans.
Diplomats need to implement and defend the policies of the President they serve – whether or not they voted for that President.
Clif May: These professionals should be encouraged to advise, question and offer alternative approaches. But when the President says, “Here's what I've decided,” the only responses are “Yes sir,” or “I quit.”
The CIA failed to track Saddam's Weapons of Mass Destruction – weapons he once had but, apparently, destroyed secretly at some point before the American-led invasion in 2003.
That's only a fraction of what the CIA didn't accomplish. Yet the organization had plenty of time this year to leak information intended to damage President Bush's re-election chances.
The CIA is supposed to provide intelligence to policy makers. The CIA is not supposed to make policy for policy makers, nor tell the President how they think he should do his job.
Meanwhile, over at Foggy Bottom, Condoleeza Rice also has her work cut out for her.
The career employees at the State Department and in the Foreign Service are mostly liberal Democrats who have been as susceptible as other readers of the New York Review of Books to the widening of the ideological and partisan divides.
Others referred to Bush and his foreign policy team as “the Christmas help,” meaning they were confident this President would soon be gone and then they'd be able to get back to business as usual.
The few Bush loyalists – and those who don't believe they're entitled to veto the decisions of a sitting President -- were referred to as “the American interests section.”
Can such a state of affairs continue? Unfortunately, it can. But it shouldn't, certainly not now, in this critical era.
It is the task of Porter Goss and Condi Rice to communicate this dramatically changed reality to the people who work for them. Doing so, won't make them popular. But they owe it to this President – and to future presidents as well.
Now is the time for these public servants to return to doing the jobs the public pays them to do. The intelligence agencies must find better ways to ferret out useful information and supply it to the White House – whose occupant has been re-elected by a majority of Americans.
Diplomats need to implement and defend the policies of the President they serve – whether or not they voted for that President.
Clif May: These professionals should be encouraged to advise, question and offer alternative approaches. But when the President says, “Here's what I've decided,” the only responses are “Yes sir,” or “I quit.”
The CIA failed to track Saddam's Weapons of Mass Destruction – weapons he once had but, apparently, destroyed secretly at some point before the American-led invasion in 2003.
That's only a fraction of what the CIA didn't accomplish. Yet the organization had plenty of time this year to leak information intended to damage President Bush's re-election chances.
The CIA is supposed to provide intelligence to policy makers. The CIA is not supposed to make policy for policy makers, nor tell the President how they think he should do his job.
Meanwhile, over at Foggy Bottom, Condoleeza Rice also has her work cut out for her.
The career employees at the State Department and in the Foreign Service are mostly liberal Democrats who have been as susceptible as other readers of the New York Review of Books to the widening of the ideological and partisan divides.
Others referred to Bush and his foreign policy team as “the Christmas help,” meaning they were confident this President would soon be gone and then they'd be able to get back to business as usual.
The few Bush loyalists – and those who don't believe they're entitled to veto the decisions of a sitting President -- were referred to as “the American interests section.”
Can such a state of affairs continue? Unfortunately, it can. But it shouldn't, certainly not now, in this critical era.
It is the task of Porter Goss and Condi Rice to communicate this dramatically changed reality to the people who work for them. Doing so, won't make them popular. But they owe it to this President – and to future presidents as well.
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$5.7 Million Dish
Story: Hand-Me-Down Dish Fetches $5.7M at Auction
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$5.7 Million Dish
Story: Hand-Me-Down Dish Fetches $5.7M at Auction
Ground 'Moves' as Cane Toads Invade Park
SYDNEY (Reuters) - Hundreds of thousands of poisonous baby cane toads invaded an Australian national park Friday, hopping around in such numbers that the ground seemed to move, an ecologist said.
The ugly amphibians moved into the Arakwal National Park near one of the country's famous surfing meccas, Byron Bay, following an explosion in toad numbers after recent rains.
"You should see the ground down there, it is just black and it is just moving, it is a seething mass of young cane toads, it looks like the ground is moving," local ecologist Steve Phillips told Australian radio.
Park officials plan to destroy as many of the toads as possible before they grow into adults, hoping that once numbers are reduced the threatened wallum froglet and wallum sedge frog populations will pick up.
Cane toads are one of Australia's worst environmental pests.
They were introduced to Australia from Hawaii in 1935 to stop the French Cane Beetle and Greyback Cane Beetle from destroying sugar cane crops in the northeastern state of Queensland.
The biological warfare experiment backfired as the beetles could fly and escape being killed.
The toads thrived, meanwhile, and quickly multiplied.
With females laying up to 35,000 eggs a year, the amphibians -- some as big as dinner plates -- have now spread out from Queensland west into the Northern Territory and south into New South Wales, threatening the unique Australian fauna in their path.
While cane toads will eat anything and appear easy prey for larger animals, they possess highly poisonous sacs behind their heads which kill predators quickly.
SYDNEY (Reuters) - Hundreds of thousands of poisonous baby cane toads invaded an Australian national park Friday, hopping around in such numbers that the ground seemed to move, an ecologist said.
The ugly amphibians moved into the Arakwal National Park near one of the country's famous surfing meccas, Byron Bay, following an explosion in toad numbers after recent rains.
"You should see the ground down there, it is just black and it is just moving, it is a seething mass of young cane toads, it looks like the ground is moving," local ecologist Steve Phillips told Australian radio.
Park officials plan to destroy as many of the toads as possible before they grow into adults, hoping that once numbers are reduced the threatened wallum froglet and wallum sedge frog populations will pick up.
Cane toads are one of Australia's worst environmental pests.
They were introduced to Australia from Hawaii in 1935 to stop the French Cane Beetle and Greyback Cane Beetle from destroying sugar cane crops in the northeastern state of Queensland.
The biological warfare experiment backfired as the beetles could fly and escape being killed.
The toads thrived, meanwhile, and quickly multiplied.
With females laying up to 35,000 eggs a year, the amphibians -- some as big as dinner plates -- have now spread out from Queensland west into the Northern Territory and south into New South Wales, threatening the unique Australian fauna in their path.
While cane toads will eat anything and appear easy prey for larger animals, they possess highly poisonous sacs behind their heads which kill predators quickly.
Saturday, November 20, 2004
Jacques’s Cracks
Sam Spade had it right: The cheaper the crook, the gaudier the patter.
If what the U.N.'s own investigators are saying is true, however, petty fraud and the like may be the least of Chirac's crimes. In a recent Washington Times piece, Jacques has been fingered as the guy on the receiving end of a con's work in Iraq as part of the U.N.'s Oil-for-Food scandal.
Denis Boyles: When Chirac spoke on the eve of his visit to Tony Blair to celebrate the centenary of the Entente Cordiale (a French term meaning "you may not shoot us while we sabotage you"), it was with typical Gallic arrogance. In a widely publicized interview with the Times, Chirac ridiculed Blair's support of the war in Iraq.
Chirac: I said then to Tony Blair: 'You absolutely have to obtain something in exchange for your support.' Well, Britain gave its support but I did not see much in return. I am not sure that it is in the nature of our American friends at the moment to return favours systematically.
That, of course, is exactly what we should by now expect from Chirac — the notion that if it's not a bribe, it's not a deal. It would never occur to Chirac that what Blair got in exchange for liberating Iraq had nothing to do with the U.S.
What Blair got was what he thought he'd get — the knowledge that he had done the right thing for his own country and for others.
A French leader would never say, "Either you are with us, or you're against us." In French, it translates like this: "Either you give us something, or we are against you."
Chirac's remark explains a great deal about the deep, permanent animosity between the U.S. and France. And thanks in part to Jacques' cracks, it's now an antagonism George W. Bush overlooks at his peril.
When Bush said, "Every nation, in every region, now has a decision to make. Either you are with us, or you are with the terrorists," he said something that most Americans, Red and Blue, felt was absolutely true.
Sam Spade had it right: The cheaper the crook, the gaudier the patter.
If what the U.N.'s own investigators are saying is true, however, petty fraud and the like may be the least of Chirac's crimes. In a recent Washington Times piece, Jacques has been fingered as the guy on the receiving end of a con's work in Iraq as part of the U.N.'s Oil-for-Food scandal.
Denis Boyles: When Chirac spoke on the eve of his visit to Tony Blair to celebrate the centenary of the Entente Cordiale (a French term meaning "you may not shoot us while we sabotage you"), it was with typical Gallic arrogance. In a widely publicized interview with the Times, Chirac ridiculed Blair's support of the war in Iraq.
Chirac: I said then to Tony Blair: 'You absolutely have to obtain something in exchange for your support.' Well, Britain gave its support but I did not see much in return. I am not sure that it is in the nature of our American friends at the moment to return favours systematically.
That, of course, is exactly what we should by now expect from Chirac — the notion that if it's not a bribe, it's not a deal. It would never occur to Chirac that what Blair got in exchange for liberating Iraq had nothing to do with the U.S.
What Blair got was what he thought he'd get — the knowledge that he had done the right thing for his own country and for others.
A French leader would never say, "Either you are with us, or you're against us." In French, it translates like this: "Either you give us something, or we are against you."
Chirac's remark explains a great deal about the deep, permanent animosity between the U.S. and France. And thanks in part to Jacques' cracks, it's now an antagonism George W. Bush overlooks at his peril.
When Bush said, "Every nation, in every region, now has a decision to make. Either you are with us, or you are with the terrorists," he said something that most Americans, Red and Blue, felt was absolutely true.
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World's Largest Double Wide Trailer
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Leno
Hillary Clinton said Bill Clinton’s Library "tells the story of his life.” In fact, that’s why it’s a two story building.
The official opening of the Clinton Library in Little Rock, Arkansas. President Bush was there. Huge event. Poured. Nothing but rain. Which is kind of ironic because a lot of dressed got ruined.
In fact there were 4 presidents there, standing side by side. Presidents Carter, Bush One, Clinton and of course George W. Bush all standing together. It kind of looked like the 99 cent store version of Mt. Rushmore!
It was all very dignified. You know there was one kind of tacky moment when Clinton started handing out cigars. I didn’t think that was proper form.
One other thing I thought was premature. When Hillary announced groundbreaking for her own presidential library.
Al Gore was sitting there. I don’t want to say that Al has gotten big, but Clinton saw him from behind and said, "Monica?”
The head of the United States Catholic Bishops said yesterday that "It’s been a very tough time for bishops”...Not as tough as it’s been for alter boys.
Scott Peterson’s attorney, Mark Geragos filed a motion today requesting a new jury be seated to decide whether or not he gets the death penalty. The problem with the old jury is they know he’s guilty.
Did you hear the big news? "The West Wing” has been cancelled. Not the TV show, the Bush cabinet.
According to the "New York Daily News”, Colin Powell as secretary of state had urinals removed that were in the women’s restrooms at the state department. There were urinals in there and all the women like him because he had them removed. Which is funny. That’s funny. Because when Janet Reno was attorney general at the justice department she had the urinals put in.
Hey, Kev (talking to Kevin Eubanks) - what do the price of gold and Anna Nicole Smith have in common? Earlier this week they both hit a ten-year-high.
Did you hear what happened to Anna Nicole? Apparently she tried to cut in line ahead of Courtney Love at the pharmacy.
Here’s my favorite disgusting news story of the week – Hardees restaurants coming out with a new hamburger called the monsterthick burger. It’s made with two 1/3 pound beef patties and contains over 1400 calories and 107 grams of fat. In fact this thing is so big, you can’t even get it in the drive-thru window, you have to go around back to the loading dock.
Michael Jackson is in the news again – this time he’s being sued for $3 million by a film producer who claims Michael never repaid him the money he loaned him. Isn’t that unbelievable? Michael Jackson being sued by a grown-up? Has that ever happened before?
Planning has been finalized for a TV movie about Bonnie Lee Bakley. I’m not sure what kind of movie but we can rule out a ”who done it”.
Blake got a big movie deal – today he was signed to do a movie, he’s starring in the Scott Peterson story.
The NBC show "LA X” had a big surprise last night. They were on the air.
Hillary Clinton said Bill Clinton’s Library "tells the story of his life.” In fact, that’s why it’s a two story building.
The official opening of the Clinton Library in Little Rock, Arkansas. President Bush was there. Huge event. Poured. Nothing but rain. Which is kind of ironic because a lot of dressed got ruined.
In fact there were 4 presidents there, standing side by side. Presidents Carter, Bush One, Clinton and of course George W. Bush all standing together. It kind of looked like the 99 cent store version of Mt. Rushmore!
It was all very dignified. You know there was one kind of tacky moment when Clinton started handing out cigars. I didn’t think that was proper form.
One other thing I thought was premature. When Hillary announced groundbreaking for her own presidential library.
Al Gore was sitting there. I don’t want to say that Al has gotten big, but Clinton saw him from behind and said, "Monica?”
The head of the United States Catholic Bishops said yesterday that "It’s been a very tough time for bishops”...Not as tough as it’s been for alter boys.
Scott Peterson’s attorney, Mark Geragos filed a motion today requesting a new jury be seated to decide whether or not he gets the death penalty. The problem with the old jury is they know he’s guilty.
Did you hear the big news? "The West Wing” has been cancelled. Not the TV show, the Bush cabinet.
According to the "New York Daily News”, Colin Powell as secretary of state had urinals removed that were in the women’s restrooms at the state department. There were urinals in there and all the women like him because he had them removed. Which is funny. That’s funny. Because when Janet Reno was attorney general at the justice department she had the urinals put in.
Hey, Kev (talking to Kevin Eubanks) - what do the price of gold and Anna Nicole Smith have in common? Earlier this week they both hit a ten-year-high.
Did you hear what happened to Anna Nicole? Apparently she tried to cut in line ahead of Courtney Love at the pharmacy.
Here’s my favorite disgusting news story of the week – Hardees restaurants coming out with a new hamburger called the monsterthick burger. It’s made with two 1/3 pound beef patties and contains over 1400 calories and 107 grams of fat. In fact this thing is so big, you can’t even get it in the drive-thru window, you have to go around back to the loading dock.
Michael Jackson is in the news again – this time he’s being sued for $3 million by a film producer who claims Michael never repaid him the money he loaned him. Isn’t that unbelievable? Michael Jackson being sued by a grown-up? Has that ever happened before?
Planning has been finalized for a TV movie about Bonnie Lee Bakley. I’m not sure what kind of movie but we can rule out a ”who done it”.
Blake got a big movie deal – today he was signed to do a movie, he’s starring in the Scott Peterson story.
The NBC show "LA X” had a big surprise last night. They were on the air.
Friday, November 19, 2004
Bill Gates Receives 4 million E-mails Each Day
The Microsoft Corp. chairman receives millions of Internet messages a day, said Steve Ballmer, the company's chief executive. "Bill literally receives 4 million pieces of e-mail per day, most of it spam," Ballmer said Thursday.
Spam or junk e-mails are unsolicited messages, generally advertising goods or services and usually sent to many e-mail accounts simultaneously.
Ballmer said Microsoft has special technology that just filters spam intended for Gates. In addition, several Microsoft employees are dedicated to ensuring that nothing unwanted gets into his inbox.
"Literally there's a whole department almost that takes care of it," he said.
Ballmer was in Singapore for the company's Government Leader's forum, which ends Friday.
Bill Gates might not use AOL, but he's definitely got mail.
The Microsoft Corp. chairman receives millions of Internet messages a day, said Steve Ballmer, the company's chief executive. "Bill literally receives 4 million pieces of e-mail per day, most of it spam," Ballmer said Thursday.
Spam or junk e-mails are unsolicited messages, generally advertising goods or services and usually sent to many e-mail accounts simultaneously.
Ballmer said Microsoft has special technology that just filters spam intended for Gates. In addition, several Microsoft employees are dedicated to ensuring that nothing unwanted gets into his inbox.
"Literally there's a whole department almost that takes care of it," he said.
Ballmer was in Singapore for the company's Government Leader's forum, which ends Friday.
Bill Gates might not use AOL, but he's definitely got mail.
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Leno
Two White House turkeys were given a presidential pardon today ... and afterward Scott Peterson said, "Gobble, gobble, gobble!"
Today President Bush pardoned the White House turkey. You know what happens to the turkeys that are pardoned every year? They are released to a farm to live out the rest of their lives. At least that’s what they tell President Bush.
The Butterball Turkey hotline is up and running. The top three questions they’re getting this year are Number 3, How do I thaw a turkey? Number 2, How long should I cook a turkey? And the most asked question: What the hell drug is Anna Nicole Smith on?
Hey, how many watched that new reality show last night – "I'm a Cabinet member ... get me out of here!"
I tell ya, it's really getting crazy. Today one of the Bush daughters resigned.
Colin Powell said today no one should be surprised he’s leaving. He said that throughout his first term he had always told President Bush that he thought he would only serve one term. And Bush said, "Hey, me too."
Here’s an interesting story - 43 Cubans who have been performing in a Las Vegas showroom are seeking asylum in the U.S. They wound up in Vegas. Boy, how far off course was that raft?
Forty-three Cubans want to defect ... not one shortstop. Just our luck.
NASA set a world speed record with an unmanned jet that traveled 7,000 miles an hour, ten times the speed of sound. They think this technology will one day be used for commercial flight. Imagine flying ten times the speed of sound. Of course, that means now all your relatives and in-laws are just a few minutes away.
The government issued a safety recall today on 800,000 Bowflex exercise machines. The good news: No one was hurt, because no one ever actually used a Bowflex.
Discount retailer Kmart has announced plans to join forces with Sears. Their goal: to create the crappiest department store ever!
The total value of the deal: $125.
Kmart buying Sears. So, soon Martha Stewart products will be sold in two stores she wouldn’t be caught dead in.
Letterman
How about "Playboy"? In their next issue they’re having a naked pictorial of McDonald’s employees. How many times have you had a Big Mac and said gee this is good but I’d rather see the employees naked?!
Here’s an important announcement. President Bush says there will be no nuclear waste being buried in Nevada. We now need a new site and it will be in a blue state.
President Bush went to pardon a turkey today for Thanksgiving, but the turkey resigned first.
President Bush won the election but now everyone is resigning. Today the Bush twins left and were replaced by the Hilton sisters.
Conan
Star Jones got married. Earlier today Star Jones and her new husband left on their honeymoon. They’re spending it in the Middle East. In a related story, Osama bin Laden has surrendered.
Two White House turkeys were given a presidential pardon today ... and afterward Scott Peterson said, "Gobble, gobble, gobble!"
Today President Bush pardoned the White House turkey. You know what happens to the turkeys that are pardoned every year? They are released to a farm to live out the rest of their lives. At least that’s what they tell President Bush.
The Butterball Turkey hotline is up and running. The top three questions they’re getting this year are Number 3, How do I thaw a turkey? Number 2, How long should I cook a turkey? And the most asked question: What the hell drug is Anna Nicole Smith on?
Hey, how many watched that new reality show last night – "I'm a Cabinet member ... get me out of here!"
I tell ya, it's really getting crazy. Today one of the Bush daughters resigned.
Colin Powell said today no one should be surprised he’s leaving. He said that throughout his first term he had always told President Bush that he thought he would only serve one term. And Bush said, "Hey, me too."
Here’s an interesting story - 43 Cubans who have been performing in a Las Vegas showroom are seeking asylum in the U.S. They wound up in Vegas. Boy, how far off course was that raft?
Forty-three Cubans want to defect ... not one shortstop. Just our luck.
NASA set a world speed record with an unmanned jet that traveled 7,000 miles an hour, ten times the speed of sound. They think this technology will one day be used for commercial flight. Imagine flying ten times the speed of sound. Of course, that means now all your relatives and in-laws are just a few minutes away.
The government issued a safety recall today on 800,000 Bowflex exercise machines. The good news: No one was hurt, because no one ever actually used a Bowflex.
Discount retailer Kmart has announced plans to join forces with Sears. Their goal: to create the crappiest department store ever!
The total value of the deal: $125.
Kmart buying Sears. So, soon Martha Stewart products will be sold in two stores she wouldn’t be caught dead in.
Letterman
How about "Playboy"? In their next issue they’re having a naked pictorial of McDonald’s employees. How many times have you had a Big Mac and said gee this is good but I’d rather see the employees naked?!
Here’s an important announcement. President Bush says there will be no nuclear waste being buried in Nevada. We now need a new site and it will be in a blue state.
President Bush went to pardon a turkey today for Thanksgiving, but the turkey resigned first.
President Bush won the election but now everyone is resigning. Today the Bush twins left and were replaced by the Hilton sisters.
Conan
Star Jones got married. Earlier today Star Jones and her new husband left on their honeymoon. They’re spending it in the Middle East. In a related story, Osama bin Laden has surrendered.
Thursday, November 18, 2004
Grotesque Treatment of Dr. Rice
These editorial cartoons is drawn by a big liberal cartoonist. This stuff is grotesque. No American, certainly not a person of Dr. Condoleezza Rice's stature, should be treated like this. It is a new low. It is an absolute new low for the left.
(See Cartoon #1)
RUSH: Ladies and gentlemen, this stuff that's happening in the editorial cartoons today is nothing new. It's just reached a new low. The left has consistently sought to destroy blacks that don't agree with them, blacks that have "strayed from the plantation," if you will.
Clarence Thomas is just but one name that comes to mind. Now they are marching against Condoleezza Rice, and make no mistake about it: This is an effort to harm her ability to serve as secretary of state. Diplomats, people around the world will see these things and form opinions.
Now, I know that Condoleezza Rice and Bush their dignity and stature will overcome all of this...I'm just incredulous. I think what's happening here, folks, is that these people are so bummed. They are so distraught.
They are just so out of whack over their loss of power and their inability to gain any ground back whatsoever that they are throwing caution to the wind and they no longer hide who they really are and what they really think of certain people, and so they've always thought that black conservatives are a bunch a step-and-fetch-its.
They've always thought that black conservatives are worthless. Now it's time for them to illustrate it.
(See Cartoon #2)
Now, it seems to me that if the liberals are honest, and they really do want advancement and affirmative action and all this sort of thing then they would be praising these people and congratulating them and they would want their constituents in the black community to know that they're proud that this is happening.
They can't afford that! They have besmirch these people. They have to try to destroy the them. They impugn them. They grotesquely distort them as human beings and as Americans, and this is being done under the eyes of everybody in this country, black Americans included.
(See Cartoon #3)
These editorial cartoons is drawn by a big liberal cartoonist. This stuff is grotesque. No American, certainly not a person of Dr. Condoleezza Rice's stature, should be treated like this. It is a new low. It is an absolute new low for the left.
(See Cartoon #1)
RUSH: Ladies and gentlemen, this stuff that's happening in the editorial cartoons today is nothing new. It's just reached a new low. The left has consistently sought to destroy blacks that don't agree with them, blacks that have "strayed from the plantation," if you will.
Clarence Thomas is just but one name that comes to mind. Now they are marching against Condoleezza Rice, and make no mistake about it: This is an effort to harm her ability to serve as secretary of state. Diplomats, people around the world will see these things and form opinions.
Now, I know that Condoleezza Rice and Bush their dignity and stature will overcome all of this...I'm just incredulous. I think what's happening here, folks, is that these people are so bummed. They are so distraught.
They are just so out of whack over their loss of power and their inability to gain any ground back whatsoever that they are throwing caution to the wind and they no longer hide who they really are and what they really think of certain people, and so they've always thought that black conservatives are a bunch a step-and-fetch-its.
They've always thought that black conservatives are worthless. Now it's time for them to illustrate it.
(See Cartoon #2)
Now, it seems to me that if the liberals are honest, and they really do want advancement and affirmative action and all this sort of thing then they would be praising these people and congratulating them and they would want their constituents in the black community to know that they're proud that this is happening.
They can't afford that! They have besmirch these people. They have to try to destroy the them. They impugn them. They grotesquely distort them as human beings and as Americans, and this is being done under the eyes of everybody in this country, black Americans included.
(See Cartoon #3)
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Racist Treatment of Dr. Rice
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Racist Treatment of Dr. Rice
Leno
As I’m sure you know, Secretary of State Colin Powell has resigned. He says he will stay on to help with the transition. So basically, he’s now just a semi-Colin.
Here’s the latest update on the Palestinian Authority – no one seems to know who’s really in charge, they can’t decide on a strategy, half the factions want to move to the center, the other half want to stay as extremists ... I’m sorry, that’s the Democratic Party. I’m sorry. I’m all confused.
I guess you all heard about this. The Secret Service has doubled guards around the White House. Not to keep people out – to keep any more of Bush’s Cabinet members from escaping.
Do you believe this? I haven't seen this many secretaries fleeing the Oval Office since Clinton was in there.
Contradicting earlier reports, Homeland Security Director Tom Ridge said reports that he’s stepping down are "news to him." News to him? Why are Homeland Security guys always the last to know?
Kind of ironic ... the only Cabinet member whose heart is still in it: Dick Cheney.
I guess you heard, today President Bush played the "Rice" card.
Today President Bush chose Condoleezza Rice to replace Colin Powell as secretary of state. I think President Bush is a little confused. He said he's looking forward to seeing a lot more of her and Stedman.
Scott Peterson and his lawyer, Mark Geragos, are now preparing for his sentencing hearing. This will be followed by the most uncomfortable part of this trial – the moment when Geragos hands Scott the bill.
What’s the incentive for Scott to pay? They got him on first degree murder! Do you think Geragos gives discounts when their client is found guilty? "Tell you what, I’ll knock off 10 percent. If you get the electric chair, make it 15 ..."
I don’t know how the law works here in California. It’s very strange. Like today Scott Peterson’s boat went to Fred Goldman. The law is very different here.
Only in America - Hardee’s is now introducing their new Monster Thickburger, which is two third-of-a-pound beef patties, four strips of bacon, three slices of cheese and mayonnaise on a buttered sesame seed bun. It has 1,420 calories and 107 grams of fat. It actually comes in a little cardboard box shaped like a coffin.
The latest thing in the fashion industry is "big-butt mannequins." Have you seen these? Department stores in New York have mannequins with extra-large rear ends. That’s embarrassing, isn’t it? When even the mannequins at Macy’s have to shop at Lane Bryant.
I woke up this morning and I had this stabbing pain in my back. That’s the last time I go to the Vibe Awards.
Letterman
Last night we had an audience that blows! It was an ugly, tough crowd. About 10 minutes into the show they handed in their resignations.
Down in Washington, D.C., today a man tried to climb the fence to the White House. Luckily, the man was knocked over by fleeing Bush Cabinet members.
A lot of people leaving the Bush administration. Are you like me? It’s hard to picture the Bush Cabinet without Spencer Abraham.
Colin Powell resigned. His replacement is Condoleezza Rice. It’s her job to continue to make sure the world hates us.
President Bush gave high praise to Condoleezza. He said she’s one of our greatest Condoleezzas!
Did you see the Vibe Awards last night? There was fighting, chair throwing, and stabbings. It was like Arafat’s funeral.
On Thursday down in Arkansas the Clinton Presidential Library opens. The library will have tours. There’s a replica of the Oval Office to tour, and then you can visit the Hall of Alibis.
The Clinton Library is state of the art. They have a nice gift shop. You can buy a tT-shirt. You can buy a coffee mug. You can also buy condoms with the presidential seal on them.
As I’m sure you know, Secretary of State Colin Powell has resigned. He says he will stay on to help with the transition. So basically, he’s now just a semi-Colin.
Here’s the latest update on the Palestinian Authority – no one seems to know who’s really in charge, they can’t decide on a strategy, half the factions want to move to the center, the other half want to stay as extremists ... I’m sorry, that’s the Democratic Party. I’m sorry. I’m all confused.
I guess you all heard about this. The Secret Service has doubled guards around the White House. Not to keep people out – to keep any more of Bush’s Cabinet members from escaping.
Do you believe this? I haven't seen this many secretaries fleeing the Oval Office since Clinton was in there.
Contradicting earlier reports, Homeland Security Director Tom Ridge said reports that he’s stepping down are "news to him." News to him? Why are Homeland Security guys always the last to know?
Kind of ironic ... the only Cabinet member whose heart is still in it: Dick Cheney.
I guess you heard, today President Bush played the "Rice" card.
Today President Bush chose Condoleezza Rice to replace Colin Powell as secretary of state. I think President Bush is a little confused. He said he's looking forward to seeing a lot more of her and Stedman.
Scott Peterson and his lawyer, Mark Geragos, are now preparing for his sentencing hearing. This will be followed by the most uncomfortable part of this trial – the moment when Geragos hands Scott the bill.
What’s the incentive for Scott to pay? They got him on first degree murder! Do you think Geragos gives discounts when their client is found guilty? "Tell you what, I’ll knock off 10 percent. If you get the electric chair, make it 15 ..."
I don’t know how the law works here in California. It’s very strange. Like today Scott Peterson’s boat went to Fred Goldman. The law is very different here.
Only in America - Hardee’s is now introducing their new Monster Thickburger, which is two third-of-a-pound beef patties, four strips of bacon, three slices of cheese and mayonnaise on a buttered sesame seed bun. It has 1,420 calories and 107 grams of fat. It actually comes in a little cardboard box shaped like a coffin.
The latest thing in the fashion industry is "big-butt mannequins." Have you seen these? Department stores in New York have mannequins with extra-large rear ends. That’s embarrassing, isn’t it? When even the mannequins at Macy’s have to shop at Lane Bryant.
I woke up this morning and I had this stabbing pain in my back. That’s the last time I go to the Vibe Awards.
Letterman
Last night we had an audience that blows! It was an ugly, tough crowd. About 10 minutes into the show they handed in their resignations.
Down in Washington, D.C., today a man tried to climb the fence to the White House. Luckily, the man was knocked over by fleeing Bush Cabinet members.
A lot of people leaving the Bush administration. Are you like me? It’s hard to picture the Bush Cabinet without Spencer Abraham.
Colin Powell resigned. His replacement is Condoleezza Rice. It’s her job to continue to make sure the world hates us.
President Bush gave high praise to Condoleezza. He said she’s one of our greatest Condoleezzas!
Did you see the Vibe Awards last night? There was fighting, chair throwing, and stabbings. It was like Arafat’s funeral.
On Thursday down in Arkansas the Clinton Presidential Library opens. The library will have tours. There’s a replica of the Oval Office to tour, and then you can visit the Hall of Alibis.
The Clinton Library is state of the art. They have a nice gift shop. You can buy a tT-shirt. You can buy a coffee mug. You can also buy condoms with the presidential seal on them.
Wednesday, November 17, 2004
"He's Faking He's Dead"
"I would have shot the insurgent too. Two shots to the head," said Sergeant Nicholas Graham, 24, of Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. "You can't trust these people. He should not be investigated. He did nothing wrong."
RUSH: He's faking being dead. These bodies are booby trapped. These people booby trap themselves. Our soldiers have been wounded, maimed and killed by booby trapped bodies. You hear this is a combat situation. These are the people who have just been firing on our guys... One of them is faking being dead.
(Reuters): U.S. Marines rallied round a comrade under investigation for killing a wounded Iraqi during the offensive in Falluja. Marines interviewed on Tuesday said they didn't see the shooting as a scandal, rather the act of a comrade who faced intense pressure during the effort to quell the insurgency in the city. 'I can see why he would do it.'
The coverage of this continues to be irresponsible. They couldn't wait for a report on the story or an investigation. They thought they hit the jackpot.
Rush: Violation of Geneva Conventions? These people aren't subject to the Geneva Convention. This is war, for crying out loud. What do they think this is, romper room in the sandbox? This is not recess over there.
You know, at the end of the day they're not going to go out and have ice cream cones. The continued lack of understanding -- and these are the people, by the way, who just got through running a presidential candidate who admitted doing all this and they called him a hero. They plucked this guy from the Vietnam War, John Kerry. This is the stuff that he got medals for.
(See Photo)
"I would have shot the insurgent too. Two shots to the head," said Sergeant Nicholas Graham, 24, of Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. "You can't trust these people. He should not be investigated. He did nothing wrong."
RUSH: He's faking being dead. These bodies are booby trapped. These people booby trap themselves. Our soldiers have been wounded, maimed and killed by booby trapped bodies. You hear this is a combat situation. These are the people who have just been firing on our guys... One of them is faking being dead.
(Reuters): U.S. Marines rallied round a comrade under investigation for killing a wounded Iraqi during the offensive in Falluja. Marines interviewed on Tuesday said they didn't see the shooting as a scandal, rather the act of a comrade who faced intense pressure during the effort to quell the insurgency in the city. 'I can see why he would do it.'
The coverage of this continues to be irresponsible. They couldn't wait for a report on the story or an investigation. They thought they hit the jackpot.
Rush: Violation of Geneva Conventions? These people aren't subject to the Geneva Convention. This is war, for crying out loud. What do they think this is, romper room in the sandbox? This is not recess over there.
You know, at the end of the day they're not going to go out and have ice cream cones. The continued lack of understanding -- and these are the people, by the way, who just got through running a presidential candidate who admitted doing all this and they called him a hero. They plucked this guy from the Vietnam War, John Kerry. This is the stuff that he got medals for.
(See Photo)
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"He's Faking He's Dead"
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"He's Faking He's Dead"
Leno
I watched "Extreme Makeover" today. But enough about the White House.
Bush had a Cabinet meeting this morning. It was just him and Cheney.
I’m sure you heard this story: Today President Bush had his Colin removed.
Secretary of State Colin Powell has submitted his letter of resignation. Actually, he submitted it six months ago, but Bush didn’t get around to reading it until today.
Kind of a scare this weekend. Vice President Dick Cheney went to the hospital after experiencing shortness of breath. I guess he panicked when he saw the price of oil going down.
He’s fine now, luckily doctors gave him a donor heart for the weekend. He doesn’t have to have it back until Tuesday.
As you may have heard, Old Dirty Bastard has died. But enough about Yasser Arafat.
Did you see Arafat’s funeral? What a mob scene. I heard they had people flying in from as far as Guantanamo Bay to go to that thing.
The temporary successor to Arafat, Mahmoud Abbas, escaped a shooting by militants as he was visiting Arafat’s grave. See, that’s why he’s called a "temporary successor."
This Thursday Bill Clinton will dedicate his new presidential library in Little Rock, Arkansas. They say the Clinton Library will attract more than 300,000 visitors a year. One of the most popular attractions ... you’ll be able to ride the mechanical intern.
I’m sure you know, Scott Peterson was found guilty by a jury of murdering his wife and unborn son. So the O.J. Curse has been lifted!
The jury in the Scott Peterson trial is now in the sentencing phase. That will be followed by the talk-show phase and the book-deal phase.
I just hope Scott Peterson’s prison husband is a better husband than he was.
Letterman
This is a great night. Tonight the entire balcony is full of outgoing members of the Bush Cabinet.
Colin Powell and three others resigned today. President Bush said that this proves that he’s winning the war on his own staff.
This just in – Yasser Arafat is clinging to death!
Arafat’s funeral went well. Only 30 people died.
Mrs. Arafat is so distraught she could barely shop today.
There was a scary moment over the weekend when Dick Cheney was rushed to the hospital for heart problems. Don’t kid yourself, this is serious. Cheney has had four heart attacks ... and for a few minutes Bush was actually in charge.
I watched "Extreme Makeover" today. But enough about the White House.
Bush had a Cabinet meeting this morning. It was just him and Cheney.
I’m sure you heard this story: Today President Bush had his Colin removed.
Secretary of State Colin Powell has submitted his letter of resignation. Actually, he submitted it six months ago, but Bush didn’t get around to reading it until today.
Kind of a scare this weekend. Vice President Dick Cheney went to the hospital after experiencing shortness of breath. I guess he panicked when he saw the price of oil going down.
He’s fine now, luckily doctors gave him a donor heart for the weekend. He doesn’t have to have it back until Tuesday.
As you may have heard, Old Dirty Bastard has died. But enough about Yasser Arafat.
Did you see Arafat’s funeral? What a mob scene. I heard they had people flying in from as far as Guantanamo Bay to go to that thing.
The temporary successor to Arafat, Mahmoud Abbas, escaped a shooting by militants as he was visiting Arafat’s grave. See, that’s why he’s called a "temporary successor."
This Thursday Bill Clinton will dedicate his new presidential library in Little Rock, Arkansas. They say the Clinton Library will attract more than 300,000 visitors a year. One of the most popular attractions ... you’ll be able to ride the mechanical intern.
I’m sure you know, Scott Peterson was found guilty by a jury of murdering his wife and unborn son. So the O.J. Curse has been lifted!
The jury in the Scott Peterson trial is now in the sentencing phase. That will be followed by the talk-show phase and the book-deal phase.
I just hope Scott Peterson’s prison husband is a better husband than he was.
Letterman
This is a great night. Tonight the entire balcony is full of outgoing members of the Bush Cabinet.
Colin Powell and three others resigned today. President Bush said that this proves that he’s winning the war on his own staff.
This just in – Yasser Arafat is clinging to death!
Arafat’s funeral went well. Only 30 people died.
Mrs. Arafat is so distraught she could barely shop today.
There was a scary moment over the weekend when Dick Cheney was rushed to the hospital for heart problems. Don’t kid yourself, this is serious. Cheney has had four heart attacks ... and for a few minutes Bush was actually in charge.
Tuesday, November 16, 2004
Internet, Blindsides Big Media
Those who cite the Internet as a main source of campaign news rose to 21% from 11% in 2000 and 3% in 1996. Those who say they got any campaign news online rose to 41% from 30% in 2000.
Fox News and the Internet emerged as new leading sources for election news, finds a Pew Research Center post-election study of 1,209 voters. Overall, 21% say they got most of their election news from Fox, compared with 15% for CNN and 13% from NBC.
NewsMax: We could have told you almost two weeks ago that President Bush's triumphant re-election proved the power of Internet news and the fading of Old Media's East Coast elitists. Now even USA Today agrees.
"Media soul-searching after Bush's victory," the East Coast paper reported today.
"Media sobbing and kicking after Bush's victory" would be more accurate; many of these elitists don't even believe in souls.
"Newspeople began questioning whether they're out of touch with the heartland, a point many columnists concluded was obvious."
USA Today also reported:
Voters are increasingly troubled by what they see as unfair treatment of the candidates. This year, 40% of voters thought Bush was treated unfairly, up from 30% in 2000; 31% said Kerry was treated unfairly, up from 24% who faulted Al Gore's coverage in 2000.
Those who cite the Internet as a main source of campaign news rose to 21% from 11% in 2000 and 3% in 1996. Those who say they got any campaign news online rose to 41% from 30% in 2000.
Fox News and the Internet emerged as new leading sources for election news, finds a Pew Research Center post-election study of 1,209 voters. Overall, 21% say they got most of their election news from Fox, compared with 15% for CNN and 13% from NBC.
NewsMax: We could have told you almost two weeks ago that President Bush's triumphant re-election proved the power of Internet news and the fading of Old Media's East Coast elitists. Now even USA Today agrees.
"Media soul-searching after Bush's victory," the East Coast paper reported today.
"Media sobbing and kicking after Bush's victory" would be more accurate; many of these elitists don't even believe in souls.
"Newspeople began questioning whether they're out of touch with the heartland, a point many columnists concluded was obvious."
USA Today also reported:
Voters are increasingly troubled by what they see as unfair treatment of the candidates. This year, 40% of voters thought Bush was treated unfairly, up from 30% in 2000; 31% said Kerry was treated unfairly, up from 24% who faulted Al Gore's coverage in 2000.
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Badnews Arafat
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Badnews Arafat
Leno
Earlier this week, President Bush nominated Alberto Gonzales to be the next attorney general of the United States. Boy, little Alberto has come a long way since he lost his mother trying to get here from Cuba, didn’t he? I’m sorry. That was Elian Gonzalez. I’m sorry.
President Bush said he will push to have a constitutional amendment stating that marriage is to be between a man and a woman. Bush said this is his mandate to prevent man dates!
Finally, it’s against the law to kill your wife in California again.
As I’m sure you know by now, Scott Peterson was found guilty of first degree murder in the killing of his wife. Which is good news ... unless you’re Robert Blake. Then it’s terrible news.
This should keep O.J. from moving back to L.A.
Earlier today the jury found Scott guilty of first degree murder, second degree murder and fishing without a license.
They said – it’s so bizarre, you can never explain these things – they said Peterson did it because he felt trapped in married life and he wanted to have sex with other people. Well, he’ll have that opportunity now.
Here’s some good news - Israel said they’re now ready to negotiate with Yasser Arafat.
As you know, Yasser Arafat died earlier this week in Paris. And in lieu of flowers the Arafat family asked that everyone just throw rocks.
Did you see Arafat’s funeral? What kind of funeral was that? People all dressed in black shooting guns in the air? It was like tailgating before a Raiders game.
Some Arab countries are upset about who we’re sending to Arafat’s funeral. They say we’re not showing enough respect. Bush didn’t go. Cheney didn’t go. Secretary of State Colin Powell did not go. You know who’s representing the United States at the funeral? It’s Carrot Top.
Anybody watch the funeral today? I saw it. You know, I actually started to tear up when Cat Stevens sang "Candle in the Wind."
Some Palestinians are accusing Arafat’s wife of only being interested in Arafat’s money. Well, come on, she knew those good looks were going to fade one day.
Tony Blair met with President Bush at the White House yesterday. Did you see their press conference? They’re kind of like the before-and-after commercial for hooked on phonics.
Madonna has called for U.S. troops to pull out of Iraq. That shows you times have changed. Remember the old days when people used to call for U.S. troops to pull out of Madonna?
This is my favorite story of the week. Liza Minelli’s former bodyguard is suing her, claiming Liza forced him to have sex with her in order to keep his job. Imagine that. Forced to have sex with Liza? I mean she didn’t even make her last husband do that.
Letterman
If you don’t mind, I’d like to get this over in a hurry because right now Mom is holding a place in line for me to see "The Seed of Chucky."
You can tell the holidays are close. You can feel it. Today a 70-foot Norway spruce was selected as the Rockefeller Center Christmas Tree. What says the holidays better then the destruction of a 200-year-old miracle of nature?
It’s enormous. The tree is huge. They lash it down and then bring it to New York City on a barge. It’s the same way they brought Michael Moore to the Republican convention.
Here’s something you don’t know. You’ve all been too busy with your own lives to notice. This is week five of Martha Stewart in jail. Martha has been keeping busy. She just filmed her Thanksgiving special, "Thanksgiving in Lockdown."
Hillary Clinton may run for president in 2008. Bill Clinton is so excited about this he’s already interviewing for White House interns.
Earlier this week, President Bush nominated Alberto Gonzales to be the next attorney general of the United States. Boy, little Alberto has come a long way since he lost his mother trying to get here from Cuba, didn’t he? I’m sorry. That was Elian Gonzalez. I’m sorry.
President Bush said he will push to have a constitutional amendment stating that marriage is to be between a man and a woman. Bush said this is his mandate to prevent man dates!
Finally, it’s against the law to kill your wife in California again.
As I’m sure you know by now, Scott Peterson was found guilty of first degree murder in the killing of his wife. Which is good news ... unless you’re Robert Blake. Then it’s terrible news.
This should keep O.J. from moving back to L.A.
Earlier today the jury found Scott guilty of first degree murder, second degree murder and fishing without a license.
They said – it’s so bizarre, you can never explain these things – they said Peterson did it because he felt trapped in married life and he wanted to have sex with other people. Well, he’ll have that opportunity now.
Here’s some good news - Israel said they’re now ready to negotiate with Yasser Arafat.
As you know, Yasser Arafat died earlier this week in Paris. And in lieu of flowers the Arafat family asked that everyone just throw rocks.
Did you see Arafat’s funeral? What kind of funeral was that? People all dressed in black shooting guns in the air? It was like tailgating before a Raiders game.
Some Arab countries are upset about who we’re sending to Arafat’s funeral. They say we’re not showing enough respect. Bush didn’t go. Cheney didn’t go. Secretary of State Colin Powell did not go. You know who’s representing the United States at the funeral? It’s Carrot Top.
Anybody watch the funeral today? I saw it. You know, I actually started to tear up when Cat Stevens sang "Candle in the Wind."
Some Palestinians are accusing Arafat’s wife of only being interested in Arafat’s money. Well, come on, she knew those good looks were going to fade one day.
Tony Blair met with President Bush at the White House yesterday. Did you see their press conference? They’re kind of like the before-and-after commercial for hooked on phonics.
Madonna has called for U.S. troops to pull out of Iraq. That shows you times have changed. Remember the old days when people used to call for U.S. troops to pull out of Madonna?
This is my favorite story of the week. Liza Minelli’s former bodyguard is suing her, claiming Liza forced him to have sex with her in order to keep his job. Imagine that. Forced to have sex with Liza? I mean she didn’t even make her last husband do that.
Letterman
If you don’t mind, I’d like to get this over in a hurry because right now Mom is holding a place in line for me to see "The Seed of Chucky."
You can tell the holidays are close. You can feel it. Today a 70-foot Norway spruce was selected as the Rockefeller Center Christmas Tree. What says the holidays better then the destruction of a 200-year-old miracle of nature?
It’s enormous. The tree is huge. They lash it down and then bring it to New York City on a barge. It’s the same way they brought Michael Moore to the Republican convention.
Here’s something you don’t know. You’ve all been too busy with your own lives to notice. This is week five of Martha Stewart in jail. Martha has been keeping busy. She just filmed her Thanksgiving special, "Thanksgiving in Lockdown."
Hillary Clinton may run for president in 2008. Bill Clinton is so excited about this he’s already interviewing for White House interns.
Monday, November 15, 2004
Senate Races Sent Democrats Into a Tailspin
The Republicans' success in Senate races sent Democrats into a tailspin and provided a series of unique occurrences.
Carl Hulse, NYTimes: In Senate Races, G.O.P. Piles Up Some Firsts
First, the election of Mel Martinez in Florida means he will be the first Cuban-American to serve in the Senate.
In Louisiana, David Vitter will be the first Republican ever to represent the state in the Senate.
Lisa Murkowski of Alaska, who was initially appointed to her Senate seat, became the first person born in Alaska elected to represent the state in the Senate, according to Senator George Allen of Virginia, who directed the Republican campaign effort.
And, Mr. Allen said, Senate victories in Georgia and South Carolina mean that for the first time those two states will be represented in the Senate strictly by Republicans.
And here's one the Democratic leader, Tom Daschle of South Dakota, no doubt could have lived without. He became the first Senate leader since 1952 to lose his election back home.
The Republicans' success in Senate races sent Democrats into a tailspin and provided a series of unique occurrences.
Carl Hulse, NYTimes: In Senate Races, G.O.P. Piles Up Some Firsts
First, the election of Mel Martinez in Florida means he will be the first Cuban-American to serve in the Senate.
In Louisiana, David Vitter will be the first Republican ever to represent the state in the Senate.
Lisa Murkowski of Alaska, who was initially appointed to her Senate seat, became the first person born in Alaska elected to represent the state in the Senate, according to Senator George Allen of Virginia, who directed the Republican campaign effort.
And, Mr. Allen said, Senate victories in Georgia and South Carolina mean that for the first time those two states will be represented in the Senate strictly by Republicans.
And here's one the Democratic leader, Tom Daschle of South Dakota, no doubt could have lived without. He became the first Senate leader since 1952 to lose his election back home.
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Hogzilla
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Hogzilla
Georgia Town Celebrates 'Hogzilla' Legend
ALAPAHA, Ga. (AP) - Residents of this small farming town gathered Saturday to celebrate Hogzilla, a 12-foot-long wild pig that was supposedly shot by a hunting guide last summer and quickly grew into a worldwide legend.
ELLIOTT MINOR: The festival comes five months after the 1,000-pound hog was killed when it wandered out of swamps along the nearby Alapaha River, a haven for swine that escape pig farms and start living off the land.
The prodigious porker was remembered with a hog-calling contest and a greased-pig chase, as well as a float featuring a life-size replica of Hogzilla.
"Everybody is happy, smiling, excited. We're going hog wild," said Becky Davis, an organizer of an annual community gala that was held this year with a Hogzilla theme.
The hairy heavyweight supposedly measured 12 feet with 9-inch tusks, said Ken Holyoak, owner of the hunting plantation where the hog was killed near Alapaha, about 180 miles southeast of Atlanta.
But few have actually seen Hogzilla. Holyoak's only proof is a photo showing the guide with the beast dangling from a rope. Holyoak says Hogzilla was too old to butcher and too big to mount, so he buried the carcass in a grave marked by a white cross.
Holyoak said he has been interviewed by 200 newspapers and at least 24 television stations, as well as numerous radio broadcasts.
"It's been on the radio from Canada to Russia," he said. "I didn't know people would go that crazy over a hog."
The legend has propelled Chris Griffin, the guide who supposedly shot Hogzilla in June, from relative obscurity to celebrity status.
"They ask for my autograph," he said. "I've gotten used to it, but before it kind of freaked me out. I wasn't used to that much attention."
Asked if there could be more giant hogs in the swamps - perhaps a Hogzilla heir - Holyoak replied: "If there's one, there's a possibility of more."
ALAPAHA, Ga. (AP) - Residents of this small farming town gathered Saturday to celebrate Hogzilla, a 12-foot-long wild pig that was supposedly shot by a hunting guide last summer and quickly grew into a worldwide legend.
ELLIOTT MINOR: The festival comes five months after the 1,000-pound hog was killed when it wandered out of swamps along the nearby Alapaha River, a haven for swine that escape pig farms and start living off the land.
The prodigious porker was remembered with a hog-calling contest and a greased-pig chase, as well as a float featuring a life-size replica of Hogzilla.
"Everybody is happy, smiling, excited. We're going hog wild," said Becky Davis, an organizer of an annual community gala that was held this year with a Hogzilla theme.
The hairy heavyweight supposedly measured 12 feet with 9-inch tusks, said Ken Holyoak, owner of the hunting plantation where the hog was killed near Alapaha, about 180 miles southeast of Atlanta.
But few have actually seen Hogzilla. Holyoak's only proof is a photo showing the guide with the beast dangling from a rope. Holyoak says Hogzilla was too old to butcher and too big to mount, so he buried the carcass in a grave marked by a white cross.
Holyoak said he has been interviewed by 200 newspapers and at least 24 television stations, as well as numerous radio broadcasts.
"It's been on the radio from Canada to Russia," he said. "I didn't know people would go that crazy over a hog."
The legend has propelled Chris Griffin, the guide who supposedly shot Hogzilla in June, from relative obscurity to celebrity status.
"They ask for my autograph," he said. "I've gotten used to it, but before it kind of freaked me out. I wasn't used to that much attention."
Asked if there could be more giant hogs in the swamps - perhaps a Hogzilla heir - Holyoak replied: "If there's one, there's a possibility of more."
Sunday, November 14, 2004
The Ten Worst Media Distortions of Campaign 2004
Campaign 2004 will be remembered for the unprecedented partisanship of the so-called mainstream media, as the Media Research Center has documented all year. Here are our awards for the ten most-biased episodes in Campaign 2004.
1. Dan Rather’s Forgery Fiasco
On September 8, Dan Rather led off his CBS Evening News by touting four exclusively-obtained “memos” purportedly showing that George W. Bush’s squadron commander, Jerry Killian, was fed up with the young Air National Guard Lieutenant’s failure to get a physical exam. The same documents also starred on 60 Minutes that night.
2. Ignoring, then Attacking, the Swift Boat Veterans for Truth
Then on May 4, a group of more than 250 Vietnam veterans, including Kerry’s superior officers and many who served with him when he was a Swift Boat commander, launched a public challenge to Kerry’s version of Vietnam. They charged Kerry had greatly embellished his military record and betrayed his fellow Swift Boat veterans when he went before the Senate to make sweeping charges of American war crimes in Vietnam. Based on this record, Swift Boat Veterans for Truth declared Kerry “unfit” to serve as Commander in Chief.
3. Pounding the Bush National Guard Story
The networks did their best to ignore or demean the Vietnam veterans who criticized John Kerry’s military service and post-Vietnam activities as an anti-war activist, but when Democratic partisans like Terry McAuliffe and Michael Moore in February challenged President Bush's service in the Texas Air National Guard, reporters quickly adopted the issue as their own and criticized as unsatisfactory every answer provided by the White House.
4. Spinning a Good Economy into Bad News
Today unemployment is 5.4 percent, inflation 2.7 percent, and economists’ consensus forecast for economic growth this quarter is 3.7 percent. But the networks have stressed the downside of the most positive economic reports, and given wide play to any statistics suggesting weakness.
5. The Networks’ Outrageous Convention Double-Standard
The media’s bias was never clearer than when it came to the two party conventions. In Boston, network journalists touted Democratic speakers as “rock stars,” but at the Republican convention in New York those same reporters led the resistance.
6. Swooning Over Edwards’ Image, Ignoring His Liberalism
When George W. Bush selected Dick Cheney as his running mate in 2000, the networks went into overdrive warning audiences that the man who turned out to be their next Vice President was a “hard right” conservative. But after John Kerry selected John Edwards as his running mate on July 6, those same networks skipped over Edwards’ strict liberal voting record, instead touting the supposedly wonderful image and personality of the ex-trial lawyer.
7. CBS’s Byron Pitts Promotional Kerry Coverage
Most reporters, believing it their job to point out any newsworthy contradictions or gaffes and to ask tough questions of the candidate and his team. But CBS’s Byron Pitts seemed to define his job as transcribing the Kerry campaign’s spin points and supinely passing them off as news.
8. CBS Promotes Fears of a New Military Draft
On the September 28 CBS Evening News,decided to give legitimacy to Internet rumors by devoting one of its election-year “What Does It Mean to You?” segments to “fears” of a supposedly Bush-supporting mother that President Bush will impose a military draft.
9. Misrepresenting the 9/11 Commission on Iraq/al-Qaeda Links
On June 16, the networks pounced on one sentence on the fifth page of a 9/11 Commission report released earlier in the day, which declared: “We have no credible evidence that Iraq and al-Qaeda cooperated on attacks against the United States.”
All three broadcast networks twisted that sentence into an utter rejection of the administration’s case for war, only to be reprimanded by the 9/11 Commissioners the next day.
10. Equating New Terrorism Warning to LBJ’s “Gulf of Tonkin”
On his August 2 MSNBC program Countdown, Keith Olbermann devoted an entire segment to speculation that Bush re-election politics lay behind a terror threat warning that the Secretary of Homeland Security Tom Ridge issued the day before.
Olbermann revealed his paranoid mindset: “History tells us Presidents have exaggerated threats to the public safety to gain political advantage or simplify complex needs of strategy. Ask Lyndon Johnson. Ask William McKinley. Do we need to ask George W. Bush?”
Olbermann soon added Joe McCarthy to the pantheon President Bush is supposedly following, “from Joe McCarthy to Lyndon Johnson’s manipulation of the Gulf of Tonkin, our politics have been filled with politicians who have created a kind of evil twin to FDR’s famous phrase, ‘We have nothing to fear but fear itself.’
Campaign 2004 will be remembered for the unprecedented partisanship of the so-called mainstream media, as the Media Research Center has documented all year. Here are our awards for the ten most-biased episodes in Campaign 2004.
1. Dan Rather’s Forgery Fiasco
On September 8, Dan Rather led off his CBS Evening News by touting four exclusively-obtained “memos” purportedly showing that George W. Bush’s squadron commander, Jerry Killian, was fed up with the young Air National Guard Lieutenant’s failure to get a physical exam. The same documents also starred on 60 Minutes that night.
2. Ignoring, then Attacking, the Swift Boat Veterans for Truth
Then on May 4, a group of more than 250 Vietnam veterans, including Kerry’s superior officers and many who served with him when he was a Swift Boat commander, launched a public challenge to Kerry’s version of Vietnam. They charged Kerry had greatly embellished his military record and betrayed his fellow Swift Boat veterans when he went before the Senate to make sweeping charges of American war crimes in Vietnam. Based on this record, Swift Boat Veterans for Truth declared Kerry “unfit” to serve as Commander in Chief.
3. Pounding the Bush National Guard Story
The networks did their best to ignore or demean the Vietnam veterans who criticized John Kerry’s military service and post-Vietnam activities as an anti-war activist, but when Democratic partisans like Terry McAuliffe and Michael Moore in February challenged President Bush's service in the Texas Air National Guard, reporters quickly adopted the issue as their own and criticized as unsatisfactory every answer provided by the White House.
4. Spinning a Good Economy into Bad News
Today unemployment is 5.4 percent, inflation 2.7 percent, and economists’ consensus forecast for economic growth this quarter is 3.7 percent. But the networks have stressed the downside of the most positive economic reports, and given wide play to any statistics suggesting weakness.
5. The Networks’ Outrageous Convention Double-Standard
The media’s bias was never clearer than when it came to the two party conventions. In Boston, network journalists touted Democratic speakers as “rock stars,” but at the Republican convention in New York those same reporters led the resistance.
6. Swooning Over Edwards’ Image, Ignoring His Liberalism
When George W. Bush selected Dick Cheney as his running mate in 2000, the networks went into overdrive warning audiences that the man who turned out to be their next Vice President was a “hard right” conservative. But after John Kerry selected John Edwards as his running mate on July 6, those same networks skipped over Edwards’ strict liberal voting record, instead touting the supposedly wonderful image and personality of the ex-trial lawyer.
7. CBS’s Byron Pitts Promotional Kerry Coverage
Most reporters, believing it their job to point out any newsworthy contradictions or gaffes and to ask tough questions of the candidate and his team. But CBS’s Byron Pitts seemed to define his job as transcribing the Kerry campaign’s spin points and supinely passing them off as news.
8. CBS Promotes Fears of a New Military Draft
On the September 28 CBS Evening News,decided to give legitimacy to Internet rumors by devoting one of its election-year “What Does It Mean to You?” segments to “fears” of a supposedly Bush-supporting mother that President Bush will impose a military draft.
9. Misrepresenting the 9/11 Commission on Iraq/al-Qaeda Links
On June 16, the networks pounced on one sentence on the fifth page of a 9/11 Commission report released earlier in the day, which declared: “We have no credible evidence that Iraq and al-Qaeda cooperated on attacks against the United States.”
All three broadcast networks twisted that sentence into an utter rejection of the administration’s case for war, only to be reprimanded by the 9/11 Commissioners the next day.
10. Equating New Terrorism Warning to LBJ’s “Gulf of Tonkin”
On his August 2 MSNBC program Countdown, Keith Olbermann devoted an entire segment to speculation that Bush re-election politics lay behind a terror threat warning that the Secretary of Homeland Security Tom Ridge issued the day before.
Olbermann revealed his paranoid mindset: “History tells us Presidents have exaggerated threats to the public safety to gain political advantage or simplify complex needs of strategy. Ask Lyndon Johnson. Ask William McKinley. Do we need to ask George W. Bush?”
Olbermann soon added Joe McCarthy to the pantheon President Bush is supposedly following, “from Joe McCarthy to Lyndon Johnson’s manipulation of the Gulf of Tonkin, our politics have been filled with politicians who have created a kind of evil twin to FDR’s famous phrase, ‘We have nothing to fear but fear itself.’
Pictures Of The Day
More great pictures from You. The new website "Pictures Of The Day", will give us a place to share your pictures with others.
Veterans
More great pictures from You. The new website "Pictures Of The Day", will give us a place to share your pictures with others.
Veterans
Monumental Task
(Sent to us by Martha Branson of Ga)
We have the distinguished honor of being on the committee to raise $5,000,000 for a monument of John Kerry. We originally wanted to put him on Mt. Rushmore until we discovered there was not enough room for two more faces.
We then decided to erect a statue of Kerry in Washington, DC Hall Of Fame. We were in a quandary as to where the statue should be placed. It was not proper to place it beside the statue of George Washington, who never told a lie, or beside Jesse Jackson, who never told the truth, since John boy could never tell the difference.
We finally decided to place it beside Christopher Columbus, the greatest Democrat of them all. He left not knowing where he was going, and when he got there he did not know where he was. He returned not knowing where he had been, and did it all on someone else's widow's money.
If you are one of the fortunate people who have anything left after taxes, we expect a generous contribution to this worthwhile project.
Thanks to Martha Branson of Ga
(Sent to us by Martha Branson of Ga)
We have the distinguished honor of being on the committee to raise $5,000,000 for a monument of John Kerry. We originally wanted to put him on Mt. Rushmore until we discovered there was not enough room for two more faces.
We then decided to erect a statue of Kerry in Washington, DC Hall Of Fame. We were in a quandary as to where the statue should be placed. It was not proper to place it beside the statue of George Washington, who never told a lie, or beside Jesse Jackson, who never told the truth, since John boy could never tell the difference.
We finally decided to place it beside Christopher Columbus, the greatest Democrat of them all. He left not knowing where he was going, and when he got there he did not know where he was. He returned not knowing where he had been, and did it all on someone else's widow's money.
If you are one of the fortunate people who have anything left after taxes, we expect a generous contribution to this worthwhile project.
Thanks to Martha Branson of Ga
Saturday, November 13, 2004
Clintonistas Torpedoed Kerry's Campaign
Top strategists with John Kerry's presidential campaign are blaming his crushing defeat last week on bad advice from Clinton operatives who took over the campaign after Labor Day.
Thorne - a brother-in-law from Kerry's first marriage to Julia Thorne - was one of Kerry's closest advisers throughout the campaign.
Thorne told political gadfly Arianna Huffington that because of the misguided Carville-Greenberg strategy, "We never defended John's character and focused on his leadership with the same singularity of purpose that the Republicans put on George Bush's leadership."
Tom Vallely, the Vietnam War veteran whom Kerry tapped to lead the response to the Swift boat attacks, told the columnist: "The Clinton team, though technically skillful, could not see reality — they could only see their version of reality. And that was always about pivoting to domestic issues."
Reports Huffington:
"In conversations with Kerry insiders over the last nine months, I’ve heard a recurring theme: that it was [Bob] Shrum and the Clintonistas [including Greenberg, Carville and senior adviser Joe Lockhart] who dominated the campaign in the last two months and who were convinced that this election was going to be won on domestic issues, like jobs and healthcare, and not on national security."
The failed strategy apparently originated with ex-President Clinton himself, who trumpeted the domestic issues mantra in repeated calls to Kerry.
Writes Huffington:
"Behind the scenes, former President Clinton also kept up the drumbeat, telling Kerry in private conversations right to the end that he should focus on the economy rather than Iraq or the war on terror."
Top strategists with John Kerry's presidential campaign are blaming his crushing defeat last week on bad advice from Clinton operatives who took over the campaign after Labor Day.
Thorne - a brother-in-law from Kerry's first marriage to Julia Thorne - was one of Kerry's closest advisers throughout the campaign.
Thorne told political gadfly Arianna Huffington that because of the misguided Carville-Greenberg strategy, "We never defended John's character and focused on his leadership with the same singularity of purpose that the Republicans put on George Bush's leadership."
Tom Vallely, the Vietnam War veteran whom Kerry tapped to lead the response to the Swift boat attacks, told the columnist: "The Clinton team, though technically skillful, could not see reality — they could only see their version of reality. And that was always about pivoting to domestic issues."
Reports Huffington:
"In conversations with Kerry insiders over the last nine months, I’ve heard a recurring theme: that it was [Bob] Shrum and the Clintonistas [including Greenberg, Carville and senior adviser Joe Lockhart] who dominated the campaign in the last two months and who were convinced that this election was going to be won on domestic issues, like jobs and healthcare, and not on national security."
The failed strategy apparently originated with ex-President Clinton himself, who trumpeted the domestic issues mantra in repeated calls to Kerry.
Writes Huffington:
"Behind the scenes, former President Clinton also kept up the drumbeat, telling Kerry in private conversations right to the end that he should focus on the economy rather than Iraq or the war on terror."
Pictures Of The Day
More great pictures from You. The new website "Pictures Of The Day", will give us a place to share your pictures with others.
DNC Meltdown
More great pictures from You. The new website "Pictures Of The Day", will give us a place to share your pictures with others.
DNC Meltdown
Leno
In fact, Arafat’s wife was seen grieving today in the West Bank. She was also in the Citibank, the Mellon Bank, the Wells Fargo Bank ...
That’s all that was in the news today. Palestinian officials said today that Arafat’s body would be transported in a bulletproof container. You don’t want to shoot a dead guy.
What a crowd! You sound like Yasser Arafat’s wife after she heard he had a billon dollars stashed away.
As I’m sure you know by now, Yasser Afafat died last night. And this time it looks pretty permanent.
How many times did he die this week? Like five? Six? He was turning into Kenny on "South Park." "Oh, he’s dead again! Oh, he’s back! Oh, he’s dead again!"
Arafat was in the hospital in Paris for over three weeks. His dying wish – for the bill to be sent to the Israelis.
President Bush said today that the United States. Would be more than willing to help the Palestinians establish their own state ... as long as it’s red. As long as it’s a red state.
I tell you, first Ashcroft retires, now Arafat dies ... this has not been a good week for religious radicals.
Here’s some good news. It looks like we’re making quick progress over there in Iraq: Today in Fallujah, they banned gay marriage.
Fallujah is 70 percent under control. To put that into perspective, L.A. is only 60 percent.
Here’s my question: The women of Fallujah, are they called "Fallusies"? How does that work?
I’m very excited – our audience tonight is made up entirely of former Scott Peterson jurors.
The Vatican has agreed to look into the Inquisition. What was that, 700 years ago? Yeah, let me know if you find any eyewitnesses.
So, I guess that means the Vatican will be checking into that priest scandal sometime in the year 2704.
Charles Manson had a birthday today ... he turned 70. Manson’s getting pretty old. He now needs a Miracle Ear to hear the voices in his head! Remember the swastika on his forehead? It’s now slipped down to his chin.
We’re getting more details on the $100 million lawsuit by Liza Minelli’s bodyguard. He claims she paid him $238,000 year, forced him to have sex with her, and she beat him up. I don’t know what’s more humiliating - being forced to have sex with Liza or having to testify under oath she beat you up.
Letterman
This weekend I have a lot to do. One, I can go to the Star Jones wedding or two, I can go to the Arafat funeral.
Yasser Arafat is now dead. Damn, just when the peace process was going so well.
Now that Yasser is dead, his wife now takes the title of least-attractive Arafat.
Many world leaders called Mrs. Arafat to offer their condolences. For example, Vladmir Putin called, Tony Blair called ... and Bill O’Reilly called to see what she was wearing.
In fact, Arafat’s wife was seen grieving today in the West Bank. She was also in the Citibank, the Mellon Bank, the Wells Fargo Bank ...
That’s all that was in the news today. Palestinian officials said today that Arafat’s body would be transported in a bulletproof container. You don’t want to shoot a dead guy.
What a crowd! You sound like Yasser Arafat’s wife after she heard he had a billon dollars stashed away.
As I’m sure you know by now, Yasser Afafat died last night. And this time it looks pretty permanent.
How many times did he die this week? Like five? Six? He was turning into Kenny on "South Park." "Oh, he’s dead again! Oh, he’s back! Oh, he’s dead again!"
Arafat was in the hospital in Paris for over three weeks. His dying wish – for the bill to be sent to the Israelis.
President Bush said today that the United States. Would be more than willing to help the Palestinians establish their own state ... as long as it’s red. As long as it’s a red state.
I tell you, first Ashcroft retires, now Arafat dies ... this has not been a good week for religious radicals.
Here’s some good news. It looks like we’re making quick progress over there in Iraq: Today in Fallujah, they banned gay marriage.
Fallujah is 70 percent under control. To put that into perspective, L.A. is only 60 percent.
Here’s my question: The women of Fallujah, are they called "Fallusies"? How does that work?
I’m very excited – our audience tonight is made up entirely of former Scott Peterson jurors.
The Vatican has agreed to look into the Inquisition. What was that, 700 years ago? Yeah, let me know if you find any eyewitnesses.
So, I guess that means the Vatican will be checking into that priest scandal sometime in the year 2704.
Charles Manson had a birthday today ... he turned 70. Manson’s getting pretty old. He now needs a Miracle Ear to hear the voices in his head! Remember the swastika on his forehead? It’s now slipped down to his chin.
We’re getting more details on the $100 million lawsuit by Liza Minelli’s bodyguard. He claims she paid him $238,000 year, forced him to have sex with her, and she beat him up. I don’t know what’s more humiliating - being forced to have sex with Liza or having to testify under oath she beat you up.
Letterman
This weekend I have a lot to do. One, I can go to the Star Jones wedding or two, I can go to the Arafat funeral.
Yasser Arafat is now dead. Damn, just when the peace process was going so well.
Now that Yasser is dead, his wife now takes the title of least-attractive Arafat.
Many world leaders called Mrs. Arafat to offer their condolences. For example, Vladmir Putin called, Tony Blair called ... and Bill O’Reilly called to see what she was wearing.
Friday, November 12, 2004
We Salute All Veterans
THE PRESIDENT: Veterans Day is set aside to remember every man and woman who has taken up arms to defend our country. We honor every soldier, sailor, airman, Marine and Coastguardsman who gave some of the best years of their lives to the service of the United States and stood ready to give life, itself, on our behalf. Twenty-five million military veterans walk among us, and on this day, our nation thanks them all.
What veterans have given our country is beyond our power to fully repay, yet, today we recognize our debt to their honor. And on this national holiday, our hearts are filled with respect and gratitude for the veterans of the United States of America.
May God bless our veterans and their families, and may God continue to bless our great nation. Thank you.
Love, Respect, Admiration
Rush: Today is Veterans Day, and, you know, we always take time on this program, not just on Veterans Day, but throughout the year to constantly express our gratitude, our love, and our actual celebration of the entire Armed Services, past members, present members, those of you who will join.
You have our uncompromised respect and love and appreciation.
I would like to recognize and offer a special salute today to a unit that enlisted for a second tour of duty, and they took a lot of hostile enemy fire. They did it knowing this would happen. They essentially took their swift boat back up the river. This is the Swift Boat Veterans for Truth.
They stayed true to their mission. They never flinched. They never wavered despite the hostile fire that came at them from the media in an attempt to destroy them yet again.
So on Veterans Day we would like to, not single them out, but just offer them a special salute here and consideration.
THE PRESIDENT: Veterans Day is set aside to remember every man and woman who has taken up arms to defend our country. We honor every soldier, sailor, airman, Marine and Coastguardsman who gave some of the best years of their lives to the service of the United States and stood ready to give life, itself, on our behalf. Twenty-five million military veterans walk among us, and on this day, our nation thanks them all.
What veterans have given our country is beyond our power to fully repay, yet, today we recognize our debt to their honor. And on this national holiday, our hearts are filled with respect and gratitude for the veterans of the United States of America.
May God bless our veterans and their families, and may God continue to bless our great nation. Thank you.
Love, Respect, Admiration
Rush: Today is Veterans Day, and, you know, we always take time on this program, not just on Veterans Day, but throughout the year to constantly express our gratitude, our love, and our actual celebration of the entire Armed Services, past members, present members, those of you who will join.
You have our uncompromised respect and love and appreciation.
I would like to recognize and offer a special salute today to a unit that enlisted for a second tour of duty, and they took a lot of hostile enemy fire. They did it knowing this would happen. They essentially took their swift boat back up the river. This is the Swift Boat Veterans for Truth.
They stayed true to their mission. They never flinched. They never wavered despite the hostile fire that came at them from the media in an attempt to destroy them yet again.
So on Veterans Day we would like to, not single them out, but just offer them a special salute here and consideration.
Pictures Of The Day
More great pictures from You. The new website "Pictures Of The Day", will give us a place to share your pictures with others.
Smokin'
More great pictures from You. The new website "Pictures Of The Day", will give us a place to share your pictures with others.
Smokin'
Leno
John Kerry is considering running again in 2008. Well, then again, he could change his mind.
As you’ve heard, Attorney General John Ashcroft has stepped down. He wants to spend more time not dancing with his wife.
Commerce Secretary Don Evans resigned. Actually he didn’t want to, but when your country has no commerce, there isn’t much to do.
Yasser’s wife claims he’s fine. She spent the entire day yesterday standing on his oxygen hose wondering where the money was.
Madonna said today that we should pull all of our troops out of Iraq. Donald Rumsfeld said, "No, I think we'd better wait and hear what Britney Spears has to say about it first."
Saddam Hussein says that he doesn’t want to be tried by the Iraqi people. He wants to be tried by the Scott Peterson jury.
Letterman
It’s been cold here! It was so cold in New York City today, the "Polar Express" was here!
Yasser Arafat is not dead, but he may not be well enough to attend his funeral.
They say Arafat is technically alive – sort of like my chances of hosting the Academy Awards again.
Do you remember the Super Bowl and the half-time thing where Janet Jackson dropped her deal? CBS has been fined $500,000 for that. That’s the most money CBS has paid for a boob since they hired me!
Conan
Martha Stewart is back in the news. She wants her company to reimburse her for her $4 million legal bills. Martha explained that the money isn’t just for her, because she also has a wife now.
Ralph Nader is asking for a recount of all the votes in New Hampshire. Today an election official in New Hampshire agreed to the recount and said, "One, two ... yup, that’s it."
John Kerry is considering running again in 2008. Well, then again, he could change his mind.
As you’ve heard, Attorney General John Ashcroft has stepped down. He wants to spend more time not dancing with his wife.
Commerce Secretary Don Evans resigned. Actually he didn’t want to, but when your country has no commerce, there isn’t much to do.
Yasser’s wife claims he’s fine. She spent the entire day yesterday standing on his oxygen hose wondering where the money was.
Madonna said today that we should pull all of our troops out of Iraq. Donald Rumsfeld said, "No, I think we'd better wait and hear what Britney Spears has to say about it first."
Saddam Hussein says that he doesn’t want to be tried by the Iraqi people. He wants to be tried by the Scott Peterson jury.
Letterman
It’s been cold here! It was so cold in New York City today, the "Polar Express" was here!
Yasser Arafat is not dead, but he may not be well enough to attend his funeral.
They say Arafat is technically alive – sort of like my chances of hosting the Academy Awards again.
Do you remember the Super Bowl and the half-time thing where Janet Jackson dropped her deal? CBS has been fined $500,000 for that. That’s the most money CBS has paid for a boob since they hired me!
Conan
Martha Stewart is back in the news. She wants her company to reimburse her for her $4 million legal bills. Martha explained that the money isn’t just for her, because she also has a wife now.
Ralph Nader is asking for a recount of all the votes in New Hampshire. Today an election official in New Hampshire agreed to the recount and said, "One, two ... yup, that’s it."
