Wednesday, November 17, 2004
Leno
I watched "Extreme Makeover" today. But enough about the White House.
Bush had a Cabinet meeting this morning. It was just him and Cheney.
I’m sure you heard this story: Today President Bush had his Colin removed.
Secretary of State Colin Powell has submitted his letter of resignation. Actually, he submitted it six months ago, but Bush didn’t get around to reading it until today.
Kind of a scare this weekend. Vice President Dick Cheney went to the hospital after experiencing shortness of breath. I guess he panicked when he saw the price of oil going down.
He’s fine now, luckily doctors gave him a donor heart for the weekend. He doesn’t have to have it back until Tuesday.
As you may have heard, Old Dirty Bastard has died. But enough about Yasser Arafat.
Did you see Arafat’s funeral? What a mob scene. I heard they had people flying in from as far as Guantanamo Bay to go to that thing.
The temporary successor to Arafat, Mahmoud Abbas, escaped a shooting by militants as he was visiting Arafat’s grave. See, that’s why he’s called a "temporary successor."
This Thursday Bill Clinton will dedicate his new presidential library in Little Rock, Arkansas. They say the Clinton Library will attract more than 300,000 visitors a year. One of the most popular attractions ... you’ll be able to ride the mechanical intern.
I’m sure you know, Scott Peterson was found guilty by a jury of murdering his wife and unborn son. So the O.J. Curse has been lifted!
The jury in the Scott Peterson trial is now in the sentencing phase. That will be followed by the talk-show phase and the book-deal phase.
I just hope Scott Peterson’s prison husband is a better husband than he was.
Letterman
This is a great night. Tonight the entire balcony is full of outgoing members of the Bush Cabinet.
Colin Powell and three others resigned today. President Bush said that this proves that he’s winning the war on his own staff.
This just in – Yasser Arafat is clinging to death!
Arafat’s funeral went well. Only 30 people died.
Mrs. Arafat is so distraught she could barely shop today.
There was a scary moment over the weekend when Dick Cheney was rushed to the hospital for heart problems. Don’t kid yourself, this is serious. Cheney has had four heart attacks ... and for a few minutes Bush was actually in charge.
I watched "Extreme Makeover" today. But enough about the White House.
Bush had a Cabinet meeting this morning. It was just him and Cheney.
I’m sure you heard this story: Today President Bush had his Colin removed.
Secretary of State Colin Powell has submitted his letter of resignation. Actually, he submitted it six months ago, but Bush didn’t get around to reading it until today.
Kind of a scare this weekend. Vice President Dick Cheney went to the hospital after experiencing shortness of breath. I guess he panicked when he saw the price of oil going down.
He’s fine now, luckily doctors gave him a donor heart for the weekend. He doesn’t have to have it back until Tuesday.
As you may have heard, Old Dirty Bastard has died. But enough about Yasser Arafat.
Did you see Arafat’s funeral? What a mob scene. I heard they had people flying in from as far as Guantanamo Bay to go to that thing.
The temporary successor to Arafat, Mahmoud Abbas, escaped a shooting by militants as he was visiting Arafat’s grave. See, that’s why he’s called a "temporary successor."
This Thursday Bill Clinton will dedicate his new presidential library in Little Rock, Arkansas. They say the Clinton Library will attract more than 300,000 visitors a year. One of the most popular attractions ... you’ll be able to ride the mechanical intern.
I’m sure you know, Scott Peterson was found guilty by a jury of murdering his wife and unborn son. So the O.J. Curse has been lifted!
The jury in the Scott Peterson trial is now in the sentencing phase. That will be followed by the talk-show phase and the book-deal phase.
I just hope Scott Peterson’s prison husband is a better husband than he was.
Letterman
This is a great night. Tonight the entire balcony is full of outgoing members of the Bush Cabinet.
Colin Powell and three others resigned today. President Bush said that this proves that he’s winning the war on his own staff.
This just in – Yasser Arafat is clinging to death!
Arafat’s funeral went well. Only 30 people died.
Mrs. Arafat is so distraught she could barely shop today.
There was a scary moment over the weekend when Dick Cheney was rushed to the hospital for heart problems. Don’t kid yourself, this is serious. Cheney has had four heart attacks ... and for a few minutes Bush was actually in charge.
