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Late Nite Jokes

Jay Leno

Barack Obama’s infomercial last night was called “American Stories.” I guess it sounds better than “Barack Obama — Running Out the Clock.”

I really liked it — especially at the end where Barack rose to the heavens on a cloud.

Amazingly, it was the highest-rated show on NBC last night. NBC is already talking to him about picking it up for 13 more episodes.

Today, John McCain campaigned in the Ohio town of Defiance. Next comes Anger, then finally Acceptance.

Late Show Top Ten

Top Ten Things That Went Through Cole Hamels' Mind After Winning The World Series

10. Maybe I'll get to be on "Dancing With The Stars"

9. Can I wear my cup in the off-season?

8. The Rays collapsed faster than my 401(K)

7. How cool a name is Cole Hamels?

6. This must be how the Yankees used to feel

5. Is the Phillie Phanatic hitting on my wife?

4. Seriously, how cool a name is Cole Hamels?

3. How can I celebrate when the nation's economic output is the weakest it's been since the third quarter of 2001?

2. I hope John McCain will start calling me "Cole the pitcher"

1. Now maybe I'll get to appear on Leno

David Letterman

It's cold out today. So cold, Sarah Palin was putting ChapStick on a pit bull.

Last night, on all the major television networks, Barack Obama had a half-hour infomercial TV special. I mean, thank God. It's about time this guy got some media coverage . . .

It’s Halloween. Everyone loves Halloween — even Eliot Spitzer. He was dating a girl named Candy.

John McCain was on “Larry King” last night. It was kind of awkward at one point: Larry had to tell John McCain that 72 percent of his ex-wives were for Obama.

Conan O'Brien

A number of athletes have endorsed candidates in this presidential election. Barack Obama has been endorsed by Patrick Ewing and Charles Barkley, and John McCain has been endorsed by Ty Cobb and Jim Thorpe.

A lot of issues being decided on Election Day. In John McCain’s home state of Arizona, voters are being asked to decide whether there should be a constitutional amendment to ban gay marriage. McCain is even using this issue in an attack ad that says, “Obama/Biden, they share positions together.”

Joe the plumber is back in the news. He was supposed to appear at a John McCain rally today but didn’t show up. So apparently, this guy really is a plumber.

A judge in Ohio has ruled that homeless people are allowed to vote, and they can list their home address as “a park bench.” Ohio officials say that a park bench may not be the most traditional place to live, but it’s still a lot nicer than Cleveland.

Craig Ferguson

Bill Clinton campaigned with Barack Obama last night. At one point he said, “This man should be our president.” He hasn’t said that since he campaigned with Hillary.

Barack Obama’s show was last night. It wasn’t really a show . . . I forget what they called it . . .“30 Barack” or something.

Or was it “Extreme Makeover: White House Edition”?

Obama’s special was really just an infomercial. I expected them to say, “We can make this a better country — for three easy payments of $19.95.”

Jimmy Kimmel Live!

At John McCain’s campaign stop in Defiance, Ohio, they thought Joe the plumber was going to be there. They had asked him to come but didn’t follow up. Well, he didn’t. That’s surprising — it’s not like a plumber to keep you waiting.

On Monday, Alaska Sen. Ted Stevens was found guilty on seven counts of making false statements and one count of illegally punching a salmon.

Obama is ahead in nearly every major poll. One gambling site online has him as a 7-1 favorite to win. They’re saying that the only way Obama can lose this election is if they made him bowl for it.

Late Nite Jokes

Jay Leno

Just six days from today, we’ll know for sure exactly which candidate will be suing the other for voter fraud.

Barack Obama’s 30-minute infomercial appeared on three major networks: Fox, NBC, and CBS. Of course NBC was thrilled — to be considered a major network.

During the ad, NBC was showing “Pushing Daisies.” Which is the name of the McCain ad.

The Democrats’ definition of the rich keeps going down: Barack said no one making under $250,000 a year will see a tax increase. Then he said no one making under $200,000 will see a tax increase. Then Joe Biden said no one making under $150,000 will see a tax increase. I think we’re going to see a tax increase.

David Letterman

Cold here in New York City. So cold, John McCain’s teeth were chattering . . . on the night stand.

I just got my 2009 Sarah Palin calendar. It’s pretty hot stuff. In April, Sarah Palin is in a bikini firing a state trooper.

They’re saying there’s some friction between John McCain and Sarah Palin. Staffers suspected there was something wrong when McCain started referring to Palin as “that one.”

They say that recently, on a campaign bus trip, John McCain actually snubbed Sarah Palin. To be fair, she was busy on the bus trip. She was shooting squirrels out the window.

Conan O'Brien

Yesterday in Washington, the Secret Service arrested a man who climbed over the White House fence. The Secret Service told the man, “Get back here, Mr. President, you have two more months."

Earlier tonight, Barack Obama aired a half-hour infomercial to attract more voters. Apparently, if you watched the entire infomercial, Barack threw in a free set of Ginsu knives or a BeDazzler.

On NBC, Barack Obama’s infomercial pre-empted the new show “Knight Rider.” So Obama is not even president yet, and he’s already making America a better place."

It was reported that Elisabeth Hasselbeck, the conservative co-host of “The View,” has been receiving death threats. This is the first time there’s been a death threat at the “The View” since Barbara Walters accidentally ate Star Jones’ lunch.

Craig Ferguson

Not a great day for Cloris Leachman — she was voted off of “Dancing with the Stars” last night. It seems that America can’t wait until Election Day to vote against a senior citizen.

Today, Barack Obama hit back at the charges that he’s a socialist by joking that since he shared his toys as a child, he must be a communist. To which John McCain responded, “You had toys as child? I had to play with dinosaurs.”

There is more political fallout today. Apparently, because of arguments over their political stances, “The View’s” Elisabeth Hasselbeck and Joy Behar are no longer speaking. Two down, three to go.

Jimmy Kimmel Live!

It was infomercial night in America. Three major television networks, CBS, NBC, and Fox, along with MSNBC, Univision, TV1, and BET, joined together to take Barack Obama’s money from him.

In an effort to catch up to Obama, McCain is digging in as hard as he can. Sarah Palin too. On the heels of the success they’ve had with Joe the plumber, they’ve been bringing in other characters. Last week they had “Richard the forest.”

On Monday, Sarah Palin introduced the best one yet: “Tito the builder.”

Late Nite Jokes

Jay Leno

A lot of voters are taking advantage of the early voting. Which is smart for older voters in Florida who aren’t sure they’ll still be alive next Tuesday.

Financial experts are saying the economic crisis is going to cost $2.8 trillion. It’s hard for people to visualize $2.8 trillion. To put it in perspective, that’s enough money to buy Sarah Palin clothes for a year.

Sarah Palin’s campaign made three stops today — Saks, Neiman Marcus, Bloomingdale’s . . .

Sarah Palin says that when campaigning, she doesn’t wear her wedding ring. The shape of it hurts her finger when she’s shaking hands. And Bill said to Hillary, “See? I told you! That’s why!”

David Letterman

Alaska Sen. Ted Stevens has been convicted on seven counts of fraud. Republicans are relieved — at least it didn’t involve an airport men’s room.

Alaska officials were tipped off by Russians who were watching with binoculars.

One week to go until the election. Down in Florida, they’re already unloading the crooked voting machines.

The winner of next week’s election meets Hillary in the finals.

Conan O'Brien

Joe the plumber back in the news. Earlier today, Joe the plumber officially endorsed John McCain. However, Joe insists that his first love will always be toilets.

Republicans are warning voters right now that if Barack Obama is elected president, the Democrats will control all three branches of the government. John McCain said this would be dangerous; Dick Cheney said it would be expensive; and Sarah Palin said, “There are three branches of government?”

CNN reported that the polls in Pennsylvania show little movement for John McCain. At this point, the only way for McCain to show movement involves eating a bowl of Raisin Bran.

Barack Obama is encouraging his supporters to take Election Day off so they can help him get out the vote. A lot of Americans said they were already planning to take the day off, because they don’t have a job.

Craig Ferguson

Ted Stevens has been convicted of fraud. He allowed an oil company to pay for renovations on his house in Alaska. The oil company put in stuff you’d expect for a man his age: a little stair-lift thing and a walk-in closet for his pills.

They also put the entire house on stilts. I don’t know why. I think he also wanted to see Russia from his house.

Ted Stevens is a legendary figure up in Alaska. He has been alive longer than Alaska has been a state.

The airport in Anchorage, Alaska, is named Ted Stevens International Airport. They’ll have to rename it “Prisoner No. 4983 Airport.”

Jimmy Kimmel Live!

Sen. Robert Byrd was in Charleston, W.Va., at a rally for Joe Biden. He got a little confused about which office Biden is running for when he introduced him as “the next president — Joe Biden!” Somebody slipped some gin in Grandpa’s cod liver oil.

Over the weekend, Manuel Uribe, the world’s fattest man, got married in Mexico. He had to be transported to the wedding on a flatbed truck. It looked like the Mexican version of the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade.

NBA season opened tonight. The excitement is palpable. Especially in New York, where Knicks fans have been practicing their booing all month long.

Late Nite Jokes

Jay Leno

Just one week left to go until the election. To give you an idea of how long this whole thing has been going on, when John McCain started, he was just 47 years old.

Colin Powell has endorsed Barack Obama. This is bad news for John McCain, because at his age, he has enough colon problems.

Pundits say Colin Powell is the biggest political figure to endorse Barack Obama since Bill and Hillary. And the only one of those three who will actually vote for him.

Halloween is coming up this weekend. But retailers are saying no one is going to dress up as Gov. Sarah Palin. That’s because her costume costs $150,000.

Late Show Top Ten

Top Ten Sarah Palin Excuses For Spending $150,000 On Clothes

10. "Need to look good for the Russians who can see me in Alaska"

9. "The old man spends more on Polident"

8. "Auditioning to be Paris Hilton's BFF"

7. "Wanted to impress the American voters in the evening gown competition"

6. "Maverick, Joe the plumber, maverick, maverick, William Ayers, you betcha!"

5. "I fell for the liberal retailers' 'gotcha sales tactics'"

4. "Because the dollar is so weak, it's really like I only spent $50,000"

3. "Hmm . . . excuses? I'll find some and I'll get right back to ya!"

2. "In addition to every newspaper and magazine, I also read every catalog"

1. "The difference between a hockey mom and a pit bull: lipstick, Prada shoes, a Gucci handbag, and a few $3,000 suits"

David Letterman

Hillary Clinton turned 61 yesterday. Hillary and Bill shared a quiet birthday dinner, followed by a quiet breakfast, followed by a quiet lunch, followed by another quiet dinner . . .

If you want to get Hillary a gift, you can’t go wrong with a gift from Bed Bath & Bitterness.

Barack Obama is ahead in the polls. The only way he could mess up the election is if he replaced Joe Biden with Andy Dick.

Yesterday, Sarah Palin spent the day campaigning with Elisabeth Hasselbeck, from “The View.” John McCain spent the day looking for his slippers.

Conan O'Brien

According to a new poll, if the vote were held today, more Americans would vote for Back Obama than John McCain. The poll also shows that if the election were held today, everyone would be thrilled it was over.

Political experts say that the only way John McCain can win next week is if John McCain can attract swing voters. Unfortunately, John McCain thinks swing voters are people who listen to Glenn Miller.

Alaska’s largest newspaper has endorsed Barack Obama. Luckily for Palin, it’s one of the 500 newspapers she doesn’t read.

Craig Ferguson

Ted Stevens, the 84-year-old Alaska senator, was convicted on corruption charges. Alaska’s not just famous for hockey moms, they’ve got prison grandpas as well.

The Anchorage Daily News, Alaska’s largest newspaper, endorsed Barack Obama. That’s another newspaper Sarah Palin will never read.

I was in Las Vegas over the weekend. I thought it would be empty with the economy the way it is. But it wasn’t. There were people everywhere. Turns out roulette is less risky than the stock market.

Late Nite Jokes

Craig Ferguson

On CBS News, Katie Couric asked both presidential candidates the last time they cried. I’m glad I held off on my vote until that question was asked.

Obama said the last time he cried was at his daughter’s birthday; McCain said the last time he cried was when he saw the latest poll numbers.

This week in People magazine, Sarah Palin talked about her plans for her daughter’s wedding. She said it’s very difficult to find a dress that doesn’t clash with the shotgun.

Sarah Palin said she’s putting the election in God’s hands. Which is good news for Democrats because they think Barack Obama is God.

Jimmy Kimmel Live!

John McCain has decided to center his campaign around Joe the plumber. Why they would do this for a campaign that’s already down the toilet I don’t know.

McCain is trailing in every major poll. The McCain campaign is focusing on a strategy that involves three major parts: Strengthen support in states that Bush won in 2004. Flip Pennsylvania back from blue to red. Pray for an earthquake that dumps California into the Pacific Ocean.

Sarah Palin said in Washington D.C. that the election is in God’s hands now. Isn’t that what you say to a prisoner who’s about to be executed?

Late Nite Jokes

Craig Ferguson

Not a great day for Sarah Palin. Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger said she is not ready to be president. And he’s a Republican! He’s like their super-killer robot!

He did say he was still feeling her out . . . this is Arnold we’re talking about. He needs to feel her out or she’s not getting the endorsement.

The former chairman of the Fed, Alan Greenspan, said that the financial crisis is a one-in-a-century occurrence. McCain said, “He’s right — and I’ve been through three of them.”

Jimmy Kimmel Live!

Barack Obama leads John McCain in just about every poll. But McCain’s doing pretty darn well for a guy who passed away 20 years ago.

Today John McCain went on the offensive and said that Barack Obama will do and say anything to win the election. Obama countered that later by showing a photograph of Sarah Palin and saying, “Really? I’m the one who’ll say and do anything!?”

Obama is even more popular overseas. Gallup polled citizens of 70 countries and found that foreigners supported Obama over McCain by nearly 4-1. It was an amazing poll: 30 percent supported Obama; 8 percent supported McCain; and the rest supported David Hasselhoff.

Late Nite Jokes

Craig Ferguson

The Pentagon is buying a portrait of Donald Rumsfeld for $46,000 — $46,000! It’ll probably cost 10 times that, serve no real purpose, and never be finished. Remind you of anything?

John McCain got support from someone he might not want support from. Al-Qaida picked him as their choice for president. Al-Qaida announced it on their Web site. Which begs the question, al-Qaida has a Web site?

Can’t we use this to find them? Can’t we send them an e-mail and say, We have a couple of old “Macarena” albums . . . send us your address, and we’ll send them to you.

Obama is so far ahead, the only way he can lose is if his supporters screw it up. But Obama supporters have a secret weakness — they’re Democrats. They are perfectly capable of screwing this up.

Jimmy Kimmel Live!

Sarah Palin is taking heat today, because the Republican National Committee has so far spent $150,000 on wardrobe for her and her family, representing small-town, common-folk hockey moms everywhere.

That’s a lot of money, especially since she’s shooting all those animals. Isn’t she making pelts out of all of them for clothes?

She told a bunch of third graders yesterday that the vice president runs the Senate . . . which of course, the vice president does not do. Even President Bush will tell you the vice president doesn’t run the Senate. The vice president runs the White House.

'Smears' About Obama Largely True

By: Lowell Ponte

The Obama campaign says its candidate is a victim of “smears” — and has even created a Web site to fight such attacks.

But a Newsmax investigation finds many of the so-called smears are largely based in truth — and the Obama campaign uses half-truths, clever language, and ad hominem attacks to spin the facts.

Obama’s www.FightTheSmears.com focuses mainly on anti-Obama messages being repeated on the Internet and talk radio, the only media where Obama's ideological allies are not dominant.

These "smears" and the Obama rebuttals are often framed in lawyerly language that leaves much wiggle room in the candidate’s answers.

FightTheSmears.com also makes no attempt at objectivity, describing Obama’s critics as “pushing misleading research and distorted claims” because they are “ideologues” busy “spreading a ‘pack of lies’ about Barack.”

In a section of the site titled, “Who’s Behind the Smears?” visitors can see a chart naming seven groups and six individuals with lines that suggest multiple, sinister connections between them.

The people and groups named are real and are members of Washington’s small but conservative sphere of power and influence. The Obama conspiracy chart links all of these conservative individuals and groups back to the critics who dogged the “Clinton 1992 Campaign.”

This may come as something as a surprise to Hillary Clinton, as many of the “smears” against Obama first surfaced during her heated primary contest with him.

Newsmax reviewed 10 random claims and related rebuttals posted on Obama’s ever-changing FightTheSmears.com to gauge their veracity. Here’s what we found:

Claim No. 1: Obama's campaign is funded by the rich, big corporations and foreigners.

“Barack Obama was the only major presidential candidate this year to completely reject contributions from The Washington lobbyists and special interest PACs that have dominated our politics for years,” the Obama site says of the persistent online criticisms of its fundraising.

“Instead, this campaign has been owned by the more than 3.1 million everyday Americans who have donated in small amounts.”

Not so, according to campaign finance records. Nearly half of the $600 million raised by Obama to date has come from wealthy donors and special interests. Obama's allies months ago dropped their ad linking Republican rival “Exxon John” McCain to Big Oil after it came to light that Obama had taken far more money from Exxon-Mobil than McCain.

“The Obama campaign has complied fully with federal election law,” claims the Obama site, “including donor eligibility and contribution disclosure requirements.”

However, one giant loophole the politicians wrote into the law allows contributions in amounts of $200 or less with no donor identification. Obama claims that $300 million in campaign funds was given by these small donors, and he won’t release their names and addresses.

McCain has released his whole donor database, including those who have contributed less than $200.

Critics argue that the other half of Obama’s campaign haul — the part not raised from big corporate donors and special interests — came in a small flood of anonymous donations that might be foreign or corrupt, or both.

Claim No. 2: Obama has had a close, ongoing relationship with domestic terrorist Bill Ayers.

The Obama site acknowledges that its candidate and Ayers ”served on the board of an education-reform organization in the mid-1990s,” but maintains most stories about the links between Obama and Ayers are phony or exaggerated.

It does not mention that Obama and Ayers worked together on the board distributing millions of dollars with the aim of radicalizing Chicago schoolchildren.

Nor does the site acknowledge that Obama kicked off his first political campaign in the living room of Ayers, the former Weather Underground leader. (Obama is currently saying it was not the first event. There is no dispute that one of Obama’s first political events in his first run for public office was held in Ayers’ home.)

There is also no dispute the Weather Underground bombed the Pentagon the Capitol, the home of a New York Supreme Court justice, and a police station, among other targets. FBI agent Larry Grathwohl, who infiltrated the group, has recounted Ayers teaching him how to make bombs and saying, “In the revolution, some innocent people need to die.”

“Smear groups and now a desperate McCain campaign are trying to connect Barack to William Ayers using age-old guilt by association techniques . . .” says the Obama Web site.

Actually, McCain and Obama critics are questioning why Obama would continue to associate with a man who, as recently as 2001, said he did not do enough and wished he had bombed more.

Conservatives also note that if Ayers had bombed abortion clinics, the liberal media would brand him a pariah forever. What does it tell us about the liberal media’s and Obama’s judgment and values that they see nothing wrong with embracing unrepentant terrorist Ayers today?

Claim No. 3: Obama takes advice from executives of troubled mortgage backer Fannie Mae.

“John McCain started smearing Obama about non-existent ties to Fannie Mae in some of his deceptive attack ads,” says FightTheSmears.com. The site downplays connections between Obama and two former heads of the giant mortgage-backing institution — James A. Johnson and Franklin D. Raines — whose corruption played a key role in the current financial crisis.

But an editorial in the Aug. 27, 2008, Washington Post described Johnson and Raines, as “members of Mr. Obama’s political circle.”

Raines advised the Obama campaign on housing matters. Obama chose Johnson to select his vice presidential running mate. But because neither are advising Obama today, this Web site’s present-tense claim that he “doesn’t [not didn’t] take advice from Fannie Mae execs” is technically, if deceptively, true.

Johnson also reportedly helped raise as much as $500,000 for Obama’s campaign.

And despite Obama’s lack of seniority in the U.S. Senate, he pocketed more than $105,000 in political contributions, the third-highest amount given to any lawmaker, directly from Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac. Obama’s Web site leaves all this unmentioned.

Claim No. 4: Obama has close ties with the Association of Community Organizations for Reform Now (ACORN), a group suspected of massive voter registration fraud.

Obama’s site says the candidate was never an ACORN employee and that ACORN “was not part of Project Vote, the successful voter registration drive [Obama] ran in 1992.”

In defending Obama, the site resorts to smearing former Ohio Secretary of State Ken Blackwell — calling him a “discredited Republican voter-suppression guru” — for daring to fight the vote fraud so often associated with operatives of ACORN, among the largest radical groups in the United States.

As Newsmax has documented in ["Clever Obama Tries To Bury ACORN Past,"] Obama’s Web site is attempting to deceive when it says Obama was never “hired” to work as a trainer for ACORN’s leaders. In fact, he did the work for free from at least 1993 until 2003.

ACORN spokesman Lewis Goldberg acknowledges in the Oct. 11, 2008, New York Times that Obama trained ACORN leaders. And Obama worked as a lawyer for ACORN.

As to heading up Project Vote in Illinois, Obama said during a speech to ACORN leaders last November, "[When] I ran the Project Vote voter registration drive in Illinois, ACORN was smack-dab in the middle of it.”

Veteran journalist Karen Tumulty described Project Vote in the Oct. 18, 2004, issue of Time magazine as “a nonpartisan arm of the Association of Community Organizations for Reform Now” after interviewing its national director.

The co-founder of ACORN, former Students for a Democratic Society official Wade Rathke, described Project Vote as one of ACORN’s “family of organizations.”

Over the years, ACORN and its front groups, like the one Obama ran in Illinois, have registered more than 4 million voters. When authorities in Virginia checked ACORN registrations, it found that 83 percent were fraudulent or had problems. This, in theory, could mean ACORN may have created the opportunity for stealing more than 3.3 million votes in this November’s election, a margin far wider than that by which Obama is likely to win.

Claim No. 5: Obama has shown only wavering support for individual gun-ownership rights.

“During Barack’s career in the Illinois and United States Senates, he proudly stood to defend the rights of hunters and sportsmen,” says Obama’s Web site, “while doing everything he could to protect children — including his own two daughters — from illegal gun violence.”

But the National Rifle Association, it continues, “is distributing a dishonest and cowardly flyer that makes confrontational accusations and runs away from verifying them.”

Actually, the NRA does a meticulous job of laying out documentation, as Newsmax reported in September ["NRA to Fight Obama Over Gun Rights Flip-Flops,"] to show that Obama has supported handgun confiscation; the handgun ban in Washington, D.C.; a virtual ban on high-powered rifle ammunition; and many other draconian restrictions on Second Amendment rights.

If elected, wrote the NRA, Obama “would be the most anti-gun president in American history.”

Claim No. 6: A fervent supporter of abortion rights, Obama supports late-term and partial-birth abortions.

The Obama Web site dismisses such criticism as the work of “radical anti-abortion ideologues running ads against Barack.”

But as an Illinois state senator, Obama voted repeatedly against legislation to protect infants who, during a late-term abortion, were “born alive.” Such protection, he has argued, already exists in Illinois; it does, but is subject to the abortionist’s decision whether such an infant has a good likelihood of survival.

Nurses have reported instances in which surviving aborted babies were left by abortionists to die without water, food, or warmth.

Obama’s Web site notes that even the Republican author of one of these bills, former state Sen. Rick Winkel, has written that “none of those who voted against [his bill] favored infanticide.”

True, but Obama’s site does not quote the rest of Winkel’s statement: “[T]heir zeal for pro-choice dogma was clearly the overriding force behind their negative votes rather than concern that my bill would protect babies who are born alive.”

Obama has a 100 percent pro-choice voting record according to NARAL Pro-Choice America; his rating from the National Right to Life Committee is zero.

How extreme is Obama on this issue? In the U.S. Senate, he has voted against bills that would prohibit minors from crossing state lines for abortion without parental notification.

"Look, I got two daughters — 9 years old and 6 years old,” Obama has said. “I am going to teach them first about values and morals, but if they make a mistake, I don't want them punished with a baby."

Claim No. 7: Obama showed little interest or support for American combat troops during his overseas visits.

Doubts about Obama’s true support for the military cropped up during a campaign trip to Iraq, Afghanistan, and Europe.

A widely circulated e-mail, penned by Army Capt. Jeffrey S. Porter, described Obama's visit to Bagram Air Base in Afghanistan: “As the Soldiers lined up to shake his hand, he blew them off . . . He again shunned the opportunity to talk to soldiers to thank them for their service . . . I swear we got more thanks from the NBA basketball players or the Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders than from [Obama].”

Porter later recanted, sending a follow-up e-mail that said, in part: “After checking my sources, information that was put out in my e-mail was wrong.” He did not specify which information was wrong, leading Obama skeptics to suspect that this officer has been disciplined by his superiors.

Heading home, Obama touched down in Germany, where he “was scheduled to visit the American hospitals at Ramstein and Landstuhl.” But as The Washington Post reported, Obama “canceled the trips after being told by Pentagon officials that he could only visit in his official capacity as a senator, not as a candidate” and could not have his visits with hospitalized soldiers videotaped by the media.

Prominent liberal mainstream media reporters such as NBC’s Andrea Mitchell rushed to defend Obama, saying that the press had never planned to cover his visits to military sickbeds. But Obama canceled both visits and used his free time instead to shoot hoops, with the media recording his best shots.

Claim No. 8: Barack Obama is a Muslim.

FightTheSmears.com states bluntly that Obama is a Christian, not a follower of Islam.

In fact, Barack Hussein Obama’s Kenyan father was raised Muslim, though he reportedly was not religious.

His mother divorced and remarried another man, a Muslim from Indonesia. As a youngster in Indonesia, Barack Obama attended two schools and was registered at both as a Muslim. He received religious instruction in both schools as a Muslim, including studying the Quran. According to a childhood friend, Obama occasionally attended services at a local mosque.

Obama’s Muslim upbringing has been detailed in a 2007 Los Angeles Times report (reprinted in The Baltimore Sun) headlined "Islam an Unknown Factor in Obama Bid." Middle East expert Daniel Pipes has studied the question of Obama’s Muslim faith and says he is “lying” when he says he was never a Muslim.

It’s important to note that Obama’s Web site does not say he was never a Muslim. But in the past, Obama’s site and FightTheSmears.com did make the claim Obama was never a Muslim. Since that claim is obviously false, it is no longer used.

Obama says he became a Christian in his late 20s. He now describes himself as Christian. Until recently, he spent two decades as a member of a Chicago United Church of Christ congregation that embraces Black Liberation theology. Somewhat like the Roman Catholic liberation theology of Latin America, the Chicago UCC church preaches elements of neo-Marxist class warfare. It combines these radical socialist elements with black racialism.

Claim No. 9: As president, Obama would raise taxes dramatically for most Americans.

Millions of Americans recognize that Obama is likely to raise taxes. But like a good conjurer, who tricks you into watching his right hand while doing things with his left, the Obama Web site assures readers with a red herring.

The Illinois senator will not tax your water, as claimed in some fringe e-mails, FightTheSmears.com maintains.

What Obama will do, however, is tax businesses and capital gains more heavily, even though America already has the world’s second-highest business taxes.

“Now our opponents tell you not to worry about their tax increases” said former Tennessee Sen. Fred Thompson at the 2008 Republican National Convention. “They tell you they are not going to tax your family. No, they’re just going to tax businesses! So unless you buy something from a business, like groceries or clothes or gasoline . . . or unless you get a paycheck from a big or a small business, don’t worry. It’s not going to affect you.”

During his campaign, Obama has promised to raise various taxes that will fall on most economic classes, including the dividend tax, the FICA tax cap, the capital gains tax, the estate tax, and new taxes on gasoline.

He also called for the Bush tax cuts to expire in 2010, which will automatically raise taxes on most Americans. By letting the Bush cuts expire, Obama would produce a $2 trillion tax increase that some economists predict will rumble through the already weakened economy like an earthquake.

Claim No. 10: Obama was born outside the United States and is ineligible for the presidency.

The Obama Web site dismisses the claim that the candidate was born anywhere but in the United States as “completely false” and “groundless.”

As proof, the Obama’s campaign has produced a “certificate of live birth” from Hawaii indicating that Barack Hussein Obama II was born Aug. 4, 1961. Critics, however say the document could have easily been forged and is not a substitute for a certified birth certificate.

No reporter has been allowed to see the original certificate of live birth or its certificate number, which is blacked out on copies of it on the Obama site.

Skeptics note that Obama’s “Father’s Race” is identified on this document as “African,” a geographic and modern politically correct term rather than a 1961 racial designation. The standard term used on American birth certificates until the U.S. Census changed it in 1980 would have been “Negro.”

Former deputy attorney general of Pennsylvania, Philip J. Berg, a Democrat with mixed credibility (he has supported conspiracy theories involving 9/11), has filed a lawsuit to force Obama to produce a certified copy of his birth certificate. According to Berg, Obama’s paternal grandmother has said she was present at his birth in Kenya, after which his mother promptly returned with her baby to the United States.

If that is true, Obama could be constitutionally ineligible to be president.

Late Nite Jokes

Craig Ferguson

India sent their first rocket to the moon. This is a perfect example of good American jobs being outsourced to India.

John Kerry is being criticized for making a joke about John McCain wearing adult diapers. Knock it off, Kerry. I tell the McCain diaper jokes! Stick to losing elections to the least-popular president ever in the history of America.

They say the race is going to be decided by the undecided voters — 7 percent are undecided. I have a question for them: What the hell is wrong with you? This election has been going on for years.

Jimmy Kimmel Live!

With only two weeks to go, Barack Obama has a strong lead, according to pretty much all polls. He’s taking a day or two off to visit his sick grandmother in Hawaii. Normally that would be a bad idea two weeks before the election, but at this point, the only thing that could stop his campaign is if he found a bad luck tiki doll at the beach.

Some believe that visiting his sick grandmother might help with the elderly vote. To try to counter that, today, John McCain stopped by our nation’s capital to visit his grandmother — Susan B. Anthony.

Sarah Palin had a good thought: She suggested that while Barack Obama is in Hawaii, it might be a good idea for McCain to keep an eye on Japan.

Joe Biden is turning out to be quite a character. He says whatever is floating around in his head. On Sunday, at a rally, a local baseball team gave him his own uniform, No. 21. He said, “No. 21 reminds me of the most famous number in all of college sports — No. 44.” How does 21 remind him of 44? In that they’re both numbers?

The World Will Test Obama

Sen. Joe Biden, D-Del., speaking at a fundraising event Sunday in Seattle, said if his running mate Barack Obama is elected president, he will almost immediately be challenged with an international crisis that will test his strength and character.

“Mark my words,” Biden said, “it will not be six months before the world tests Barack Obama like they did John Kennedy.”

Biden said the world is looking at the 47-year-old senator from Illinois trying to figure out who he is and how he will deal with an international crisis of epic proportions.

“Watch, we’re gonna have an international crisis, a generated crisis, to test the mettle of this guy,” Biden assured. “I don’t know what the decision is going to be, but I promise you it will occur. As a student of history and having served with seven presidents, I guarantee you it is going to happen.”

Biden also made similar remarks at a San Francisco fundraiser the day before, ABC News reports.

“We’re going to face a major international challenge,” Biden said. “They’re going to want to test him, just like they did young John Kennedy. They’re going to want to test him. And they’re going to find out this guy’s got steel in his spine.” Biden said.

Biden asked the crowd to “gird your loins” and continue to stand by Obama as he makes tough, and possibly unpopular decisions regarding foreign affairs and the economy. Biden said no matter who is elected on Nov. 4, a difficult environment awaits the next president.

Biden spokesman David Wade told FOX News, “Sen. Biden was making it clear that history has shown presidents face challenges starting on day one, and with our nation fighting two wars and twenty-first century threats abroad, we know that we need steady leadership in tumultuous times, not the erratic lurching and stubborn ideology of John McCain.”

Late Nite Jokes

Craig Ferguson

Colin Powell is in the news, of course, because he endorsed Barack Obama. Wonder how John McCain feels about Colin Powell endorsing Obama. He is probably all right with it. Men his age are used to having colon problems.

Of course, there's only one thing on everyone’s mind right now . . . the country is divided . . . that’s right — Madonna’s divorce.

It’s sad. Madonna and Guy Ritchie are a great couple. Madonna gave him the best years of her life, and he gave her an English accent.

McCain Up in Fla., Ohio

Sen. John McCain has moved ahead of Sen. Barack Obama in two key battleground states, according to new polls.

The Fox News/Rasmussen Reports poll shows McCain leading Obama in Florida, 49 percent to 48 percent. A week ago, Obama was up by five percentage points. Two weeks ago he was leading by seven.

Another Fox News/Rasmussen Reports poll shows McCain leading Obama in Ohio, 49 percent to 47 percent. A week ago, Obama led McCain by the same margin.

In other Fox News/Rasmussen Reports polls:

In North Carolina, Obama leads 51 percent to 48 percent.

In Missouri, Obama leads 49 percent to 44 percent.

In Colorado, Obama leads 51 percent to 46 percent.

Kerry Says McCain Wears Diapers

Sen. John Kerry joked about Sen. John McCain's age on Monday, saying his 72-year-old colleague wears adult diapers.

According to ABCNews.com, Kerry was attending a business summit on energy in Cambridge, Mass., when he told the crowd:

"These are the exciting last two week moments of the presidential campaign. So it's a very special time. I can't wait for it to be over. I am so tired of the press' silly questions that they ask along the way. And cable television which reduces everything to stupidity -- the lowest common denominator of conflict.

"I don't know if any of you know what it's like. I do, obviously," Kerry told the crowd. "I've been asked all of those brilliant questions that were repeated this year...Barack got asked the famous boxers or briefs question. I was tempted to say commando. Then they asked McCain, and McCain said, 'Depends.'"

Powell Is Wrong About Obama's Muslim Past

Appearing on "Meet the Press" Sunday, Colin Powell claimed one reason he is endorsing Barack Obama is that fellow Republicans are spreading falsehoods about him.

Specifically, Powell claimed Republicans are spreading the claim that Obama is a "Muslim."

"I'm also troubled by, not what Senator McCain says, but what members of the party say, and it is permitted to be said; such things as, 'Well, you know that Mr. Obama is a Muslim,'" Powell said.

He quickly continued: "Well, the correct answer is, He is not a Muslim. He's a Christian. He's always been a Christian."

But Powell's statement is wrong. By Obama's own admission he was not always a Christian. By his account, he became a Christian in his late 20s after meeting the Rev. Jeremiah Wright Jr. in Chicago.

Obama was also raised, at least partially, as a Muslim during his childhood.

The facts are indisputable on this score.

Barack Hussein Obama was born to a Muslim father, with the same name, from Kenya.

After his father divorced his mother, a secular humanist, she remarried, this time to a Muslim man from Indonesia. The couple moved from Hawaii to Indonesia.

While there Obama attended two separate schools and was registered at both as a Muslim student.

As such, he studied the Quran and prayed with Muslim students. According to family members, he attended mosque with his father, albeit infrequently.

[Details of Obama's Muslim upbringing were first detailed by the Los Angeles Times and republished by the Baltimore Sun — Islam an Unknown Factor in Obama Bid.]

Since announcing for president, Obama has denied any ties to the Muslim faith and claims these are part of a smear campaign against him.

Middle East expert and scholar Daniel Pipes says Obama is simply "lying" about his Muslim past. [See: Pipes: Obama 'Lying' about Muslim Past.]

During his "Meet the Press" appearance, Powell, despite making the unequivocal and inaccurate claim that Obama was never a Muslim, then seemed to cover himself.

"But the really right answer is, What if he is? Is there something wrong with being a Muslim in this country? The answer is, No, that's not America. Is there something wrong with some 7-year-old Muslim-American kid believing he or she can be president?"

Of course, Powell is right, any American of any faith should be able to become president or hold any position the U.S. government has to offer.

But the issue raised by many thoughtful Republicans and others is not whether Obama is a Muslim — but why Obama feels it necessary to hide his past ties to the Muslim faith and, as Pipes claim, to "lie" about his past association with it.

Considering the media went to great lengths to make Mitt Romney's Mormon faith an issue in the GOP primaries, and Sarah Palin's faith has been heavily scrutinized, thinking Americans want to know why Obama's past and faith are off limits.

Late Nite Jokes

Jay Leno

John McCain got some good news today: The Charleston Daily Mail endorsed him, saying that since he will only be a one-term president, he can do the right thing to make tough decisions. When they told him the endorsement was for only four years, McCain said, “Four years — that’s great. My doctor only gave me two.”

Is anyone buying this whole “Joe the plumber” thing? Turns out that’s not his full name. It’s “Joe Hussein the plumber.”

I think Republicans are relieved by this whole Joe the plumber thing — a guy who gets down on his knees in front of a toilet and is not Sen. Larry Craig.

The economy’s in bad shape. Today I saw a pimp driving a Kia.

David Letterman

Sen. John McCain was on the program. He kept referring to me as “that one.”

McCain has unveiled his new campaign persona: "Fighting Underdog.” And if that doesn’t work, he’s going to be “Tyrannical Sea Captain.” And if that doesn’t work, “Fun-Loving Gaucho.” “Cruise Ship Gigolo.” “Heartless Press Agent.”

“W.” opens today. If there’s one thing I can’t get enough of, it’s the Bush family.

I’m proud to say that I’m in “W.” I have a small part. I play the guy who gets peppered with birdshot by Dick Cheney.

Conan O'Brien

The presidential campaign is finally winding down. It seems like forever. This campaign began in 1955.

In a speech earlier this week, John McCain said, “I’ve been fighting for the United States since I was 17.” Then he said, “Of course, back then, it was called Pangaea.”

This week in Tennessee, a man named his newborn baby after Sarah Palin. The man named her Sarah Palin after he asked her to name three countries and she just stared blankly into space.

Jimmy Kimmel Live!

In less than three weeks, we will elect a new president — I am going to go out on a limb and predict that it will be either Sen. John McCain or Sen. Barack Obama.

Or maybe two of The Jonas Brothers, who knows.

Obama and McCain appeared together at the annual Al Smith dinner in New York City. It’s traditional for candidates to giver funny speeches. Obama and McCain were both funny. McCain said, “Even in this room full of proud Democrats, I can’t shake that feeling that some are pulling for me . . . I’m delighted to see you here, tonight, Hillary.”

Late Nite Jokes

Jay Leno

Both Barack Obama and John McCain were talking about this guy “Joe the plumber.” Here’s what’s sad about the Joe the plumber story: Last month, he was an investment banker.

Joe the plumber has been all over the place: “Good Morning America” . . . Fox News . . . This plumber has done more interviews than Sarah Palin since being chosen by John McCain.

John McCain has said that he wants to help this man. Here’s what he should do: Have him re-pipe all of McCain’s houses. That would be a job for life.

I just got the story from The New York Times on Joe the plumber: His name is not Joe; he’s not a licensed plumber; and he owes back taxes. So it sounds like he has the best plan for taxes — don’t pay them.

Late Show Top Ten

Top Ten Messages Left On Joe The Plumber's Answering Machine

10. "Hey, heard you mentioned in the debate. Now can you come over and get the hairball out of my drain?"

9. "Joe Six Pack calling; what are you trying to pull?"

8. "Sorry, wrong number. I was looking for Larry the Cable Guy"

7. "Dude — did you get to meet Fannie Mae?"

6. "This is Sarah Palin, do you consider yourself a maverick plumber?"

5. "You had a better night than Joe the Dodgers' manager"

4. "This is Bob Schieffer. Hijack one of my debates again and I'll bust your kneecaps with a pipe wrench"

3. "Joe, you gotta get a copy of this 'Late Show Fun Facts' book — it's hilarious!"

2. "It's Brian from the 'Late Show,' are you available tonight if McCain cancels?"

1. "It's Madonna, are you seeing anybody?"

David Letterman

“Joe the plumber” has become quite the celebrity. After the debate, he was rushed to Washington to unclog the valve on Dick Cheney.

Everyone has Joe the plumber fever. Even the Statue of Liberty was holding a plunger.

At one point during the debate, John McCain brought up Barack Obama’s relationship with ‘60s radical William Ayers. Then, Barack Obama brought up McCain’s relationship with John Brown at Harper’s Ferry.

Hillary Clinton was at the debate. And I thought, “Is it really a good idea to be leaving Bill at home alone?”

Conan O'Brien

A full 67 percent of Americans say they’ve seen enough and they don’t want any more presidential debates. The other 33 percent are plumbers who want to hear their name on television.

By the way — John McCain mentioned ‘Joe the plumber’ during last night’s debate 21 times. Experts are already comparing it to the 2004 debate when President Bush wouldn’t shut up about Larry the Cable Guy.

More details coming out about Joe the plumber: For instance, his real name’s not Joe, and he’s not a licensed plumber. However, the McCain campaign insists that the "the" is accurate.

During the debate, Hillary Clinton watched from the audience of Hofstra University’s auditorium. Bill Clinton was also at Hofstra University — but he watched from the Delta Gamma sorority house.”

Jimmy Kimmel Live!

Some people said that McCain seemed angry and overly emotional at the debate. I don’t know. I saw two very cool, very confident, unflappable men up there. Unfortunately, one of them was the moderator, Bob Schieffer.

The general consensus seemed to be that McCain didn’t do a whole lot to turn things around. Part of the reason is he does a lot of weird stuff with his face.

He blinks like he is sending Morse code through the TV set.

Late Nite Jokes

Jay Leno

Fires in Los Angeles, again. People in Hollywood don’t know how to deal with fires. Especially celebrities. When celebrities see a burning bush, they rush toward it, because they think Barack Obama’s about to speak.

Tonight was the very last presidential debate . . . which means prayer does work.

Hillary Clinton said on Fox News that there is no chance of her ever running for president again . . . this year.

In an article in The Washington Post, medical experts say Joe Biden may have had Botox. You know how they could tell? His expression didn’t change when they asked him about his hair plugs.

David Letterman

Dick Cheney was admitted to a hospital earlier today for abnormal heart rhythm. But he’s doing fine. He’s already sitting up staring at nurses.

He’ll be out shooting hunting buddies in no time.

Barack Obama is going door to door for his campaign. It’s kind of a throwback. And I don’t know if he’s changed anybody’s votes, but today he came back home with a big bag of Halloween candy.

It was a little embarrassing when he rang the doorbell at two of McCain’s houses.

Conan O'Brien

Earlier this evening, the third presidential debate was held, and Hillary Clinton was sitting in the audience. In fact, when John McCain was attacking Barack Obama, you could hear Hillary yelling, ”Get’em!"

Yesterday in New York City, a woman gave birth to a baby at JFK airport. People at JFK were shocked because it was the first time in years they have seen an on-time arrival.

Josh Brolin, who plays President Bush in the new movie “W.,” says at first he wasn’t sure he should take the role, because it would be such an acting challenge. Brolin says he prepared for the role by getting up every day, running five miles, and then bashing himself in the head with a hammer.

Jimmy Kimmel Live!

Tonight we had the final of three debates between presidential candidates Barack Obama and John McCain. Instead of arguing, they disagreed to disagree.

Obviously, McCain has a lot riding on this . . . he doesn’t have much time left . . . 10 years if he’s lucky.

Sarah Palin had to have her campaign bus make an unscheduled stop at a Wal-Mart to pick up diapers. Turns out Sen. McCain didn’t need them, though . . .

Late Nite Jokes

Jay Leno

I think the economy is finally turning around. In fact, instead of shooting animals for food, Sarah Palin is actually shooting for fun again.

Barack Obama says that both men and women should have to register for the draft. The first woman he wants signed up? Sarah Palin.

The last debate will be tomorrow night. It’s being sponsored by Anheuser-Busch. I guess the last two debates were so boring, people need to get good and liquored up.

More voter charges with this group ACORN. Apparently, Mickey Mouse was registered to vote. Mickey Mouse. Is that so bad? Goofy’s been president for the past eight years . . .

Late Show Top Ten

Top Ten Ways John McCain Can Turn It Around

10. Try the old "I'll vote for you if you vote for me" trick

9. Inspire America by jumping Straight Talk Express over Snake River Canyon

8. Change name to Jorack McBama

7. Start wearing a cape

6. Step one: Send Bin Laden free tickets to Giants game. Step two: When he shows up in East Rutherford, N.J., expecting to enjoy some big blue smashmouth football, gotcha sucka!

5. Sizzling tango with Cloris Leachman on "Dancing With The Stars"

4. Put more effort into budget plan, less effort into Facebook status updates

3. Point out his steady leadership got us through the Great Depression

2. Assure voters the only poll that matters is in his pants

1. Get Sarah Palin to illegally fire herself

David Letterman

Yesterday at the White House, President Bush met with Italian Prime Minister Berlusconi. Bush kept calling him "Boyardee."

Russia has apparently test-fired some long-range ballistic missiles. At least that’s what Sarah Palin said she saw from her house.

At a rally, Sarah Palin mistook some of her supporters for hecklers. Confusion happens. For instance, a few weeks ago, John McCain mistook her for a legitimate candidate.

Tomorrow night is the final debate between John McCain and Barack Obama. John McCain is going to introduce his new campaign personality to really energize the last couple of weeks of the campaign. "Fighting Underdog." That’s the new name. If that doesn’t work, he’s going to go with "Sadistic Yard Bull" . . . If that doesn’t work, then he’s going to try "Corrupt Border-Town Sheriff" . . . then, "Seen-It-All Bartender" . . .

Conan O'Brien

In an interview, the boyfriend of Sarah Palin’s pregnant daughter says that at first he was nervous attending the Republican Convention with the Palins, but then he was like, "whatever." He also admitted that he writes Sarah Palin’s speeches.

A group linked to Democrats is now being investigated because they’ve been accused of falsifying voter registration forms, including one for Mickey Mouse. President Bush was furious when he heard this, because he thought Mickey Mouse was a Republican.

President Bush announced today that he is going to have the federal government put $250 billion into U.S. banks. President Bush also said that if he’s putting that much money into a bank they better give him a big-a** toaster.

This week on the campaign trail, John McCain talked about his next debate with Barack Obama and said, “I’m going to whip his you-know-what.” Then McCain vowed to hit Obama in the “watchamacallit” and kick him in the "thingamajig.”

Jimmy Kimmel Live!

Two big wildfires are burning in California. Emergency teams are trying to contain the fire. They are trying to drive them to homes that have already been foreclosed on.

Yesterday, Gov. Schwarzenegger ordered a state of emergency to be declared . . . or he might have ordered a steak with burgundy and an éclair. It’s hard to tell with a former bodybuilder from the Black Forest.

The last time we had a fire, he tried to slather it with baby oil.

Late Nite Jokes

Jay Leno

Today is Columbus Day, which is why all the banks are closed. At least I think that’s why all the banks are closed . . .

Columbus is the only guy who could close more banks than President Bush.

Former President Jimmy Carter blasted President Bush, blaming the financial crisis on him. Carter called it the worst financial crisis since . . . the Carter administration.

I don’t think President Bush understands the financial crisis. When asked about General Motors, he said, “I think he’s doing a fine job in Iraq.”

Late Show Top Ten

Top Ten Surprises In The Sarah Palin "Troopergate" Investigation Report

10. Spent thousands of taxpayer dollars pimpin' her dog sled

9. Terminated her hairstylist after receiving a bad beehive

8. Palin claims she hasn't seen this kind of misuse of justice since Supreme Court case of . . . umm, lemme think of one

7. In her adult life has never gone more than 10 minutes without saying, "You betcha!"

6. No number 6 — writer looking for his hairbrush

5. Report's conclusion: "Hey, at least she didn't shoot a guy . . . like Cheney!"

4. Spent eight weeks in rehab for addiction to lip gloss

3. When asked to respond to charges said, "Instead of answering your question, I'm going to talk about energy"

2. Printed in extra-large font so McCain can read it

1. Palin's excuse: "It wasn't me, it was Tina Fey"

David Letterman

President Bush says he’s going to “tweak” the bailout plan. That’s like the captain of the Titanic tweaking the brunch menu.

Bush is trying to reassure Americans that things are going to get better. Well sure — in three months he’ll be out of office.

Over the weekend, Sarah Palin went to Philadelphia and dropped the first puck for the beginning of the NHL season. She dropped the puck, then she cut a hole in the ice and started fishing.

The third presidential debate is Wednesday. John McCain says he’s going to win. Of course, he also told Custer the surge is working.

Conan O'Brien

Newsweek magazine is being criticized because last week’s cover featured an unflattering picture of Sarah Palin. Palin says it’s the worst thing the press has done to her since that time they made her answer a question.

This weekend, the leaders of the world’s richest countries got together to discuss the global economic meltdown. President Bush wanted to go to the meeting, but after last week, the U.S. is no longer one of the world’s richest countries.

Today the Pope announced that he is going to canonize the first-ever saint from India. Apparently the Indian saint performed three miracles — and fixed the Pope’s computer when his hard drive crashed.

In a new interview, Nicole Richie said she has no plans to get married, but it could happen eventually. Then Richie said the same thing about lunch.

Euro Nations to Guarantee Bank Refinancing

PARIS - Nations in Europe's single-currency zone agreed Sunday to temporarily guarantee bank refinancing and pledged to prevent banks failing as part of a raft of emergency measures designed to get credit flowing again.

It was Europe's most unified response so far to the global financial crisis and addresses a key part of the problem: banks' reluctance to lend to each other. That has helped fuel the crisis that has pulled down some of Wall Street's most storied names and is threatening the core of the U.S. and European economies.

After the Dow Jones industrial average ended its worst week in history, plummeting more than 18 percent last week, world leaders scrambled all weekend for a way to unblock money markets before they open Monday.

At an emergency summit of leaders of the 15 euro-zone countries in Paris on Sunday, European governments agreed to guarantee new bank debt until the end of 2009, allowed governments to help banks by buying preferred shares, and vowed to rescue important failing banks through emergency recapitalizion.

But it stopped short of a one-size-fits-all solution: It's up to individual governments to announce how they will implement the measures.

"I want to tell our compatriots in all the countries of Europe that they can and should have confidence," summit host French President Nicolas Sarkozy said.

Sarkozy hoped the momentum from Sunday's meeting wouldn't stop at Europe's borders, and renewed his call for a summit of major world economies to help rebuild an international financial system "to make European ideas triumph."

European Central Bank Chief Jean-Claude Trichet welcomed the unity of Europe's leaders — but warned there is more work to do.

"The force of unity that we showed today is a fundamental element of confidence," said European Central Bank Chief Jean-Claude Trichet.

But "there are still many things to do," both by governments and central bankers, Trichet added.

European Commission President Jose Manuel Barroso said: "Our analysis isn't of an immediate miracle."

The plan follows Britain's 50 billion-pound ($88 billion) plan to partly nationalize major banks and promised to guarantee a further 250 billion pounds ($438 billion) of loans to shore up the banking sector.

But there was no sum given on how much the EU measures would cost, and Sarkozy said each country would decide how much it would spend.

British Prime Minister Gordon Brown, who met with Sarkozy earlier Sunday, said: "I believe that there is common ground now about what needs to be done, that it has to be comprehensive, and it has to be all countries working together to get to the bottom and solve what is a global financial problem."

Sarkozy said the measures — which also include new accounting rules for banks — will be enacted "without delay" in the 15 countries using the euro.

On Monday, the governments of Italy, Germany, France and others will present their individual ways of implementing the measures. The rest of the 27-member EU will have a chance to sign up to the measures when the countries meet Wednesday.

The statement by EU leaders said they agreed to "avoid the failure of relevant financial institutions, through appropriate means including recapitalization."

Governments would guarantee "for an interim period and on appropriate commercial terms" new debt issued by banks for up to five years.

"This scheme would be limited in amount, temporary and will be applied under close scrutiny of financial authorities until Dec. 31, 2009," it said.

Sarkozy said the measure taken by the leaders is "not a gift to banks."

"Banks need to be loaned money," he said. "So that this confidence is restored, states will have the possibility to guarantee the loans that banks take out, guarantee them under different forms."

German Chancellor Angela Merkel said the measures "will allow markets to start functioning again, that was our aim. It is a strong message to the markets."

As the financial crisis drags down the global economy, world leaders are scrabbling for a way to stop the panic. But efforts to agree on a coordinated global response have stumbled as leaders seek to address the unique challenges of their own countries.

"It's not easy," said Sarkozy. "We have different traditions. For some of us we don't have the same currency. We have different regulators."

But, he said, "In a situation of urgency we had to take responsibility."

Even within the 27-nation EU, some countries are facing the collapse of a housing market, some have had to step in to save banks, while others have faced different problems.

Finance ministers from the Group of 20, which includes rich countries and major developing nations such as China, Brazil and India, meeting in Washington this weekend, pledged to intensify their efforts to unblock a frozen financial system before it does more damage to an increasingly shaky global economy — but made no concrete offers of new moves.

NAACP Watching, Ready for Voter Problems

SAN ANTONIO -- The NAACP will have lawyers targeting 750 precincts around the nation on Election Day to help address complaints about possible voter disenfranchisement, the organization's new president said Saturday.

Benjamin Jealous, who took the helm of the National Association for the Advancement of Colored People on Sept. 15, said volunteer lawyers have already been addressing complaints about voter registration problems. On Election Day, lawyers will be sent to the 750 precincts where there has been a history of voter discrimination, Jealous said at the state NAACP convention.

Jealous also said he hopes that Democratic nominee Barack Obama's growing popularity will aid the civil rights organization. Obama's background as a community organizer and civil rights attorney could help as the NAACP targets quality education and other equality issues, he said.

But Jealous said Obama's rise has also occasionally led people to question whether the 99-year-old organization is still relevant.

"If Obama is elected, won't colored people have advanced as far as they can advance?" Jealous recalled being asked.

"The condition of the grassroots" will determine whether the NAACP can shut its doors, not the advancement of a single man, said Jealous, the youngest-ever leader of the group at age 35.

The presidential primary campaign highlighted the difference between many Hispanic voters and black voters. Hispanic voters helped give Democrat Hillary Rodham Clinton a win in Texas, temporarily stalling the Obama campaign's momentum before he eventually secured the nomination.

Asked whether black and Latino leaders should try to help bridge the gap, Jealous said he's already met with the head of the National Council of La Raza. He added that black and Latino communities, which often face similar civil rights challenges, will have to work together to be effective.

"We need to build multiracial coalitions as if our future depends on it, because it does," Jealous said.

Congressman Says McCain 'sowing Seeds of Hatred'

WASHINGTON -- Rep. John Lewis, a Georgia Democrat and veteran of the civil rights movement, says the negative tone of the Republican presidential campaign reminds him of the hateful atmosphere that segregationist Gov. George Wallace fostered in Alabama in the 1960s.

Republican candidate John McCain on Saturday called Lewis' remarks "shocking and beyond the pale."

The Obama campaign said the Illinois senator doesn't believe McCain or his policy criticism is at all comparable to Wallace and his segregationist policies.

In a statement issued Saturday, Lewis said McCain and running mate Sarah Palin were "sowing the seeds of hatred and division, and there is no need for this hostility in our political discourse." He noted that Wallace also ran for president.

"George Wallace never threw a bomb. He never fired a gun, but he created the climate and the conditions that encouraged vicious attacks against innocent Americans who were simply trying to exercise their constitutional rights," said Lewis, who is black.

Lewis' remarks follow widely reported examples of anger at McCain rallies that has been aimed at Obama, the first black man to be a major party's nominee for president. McCain himself drew boos at a town-hall meeting Friday in Minnesota when he defended Obama after a supporter said he feared what would happen if Obama were elected president. He also cut short a woman who said Obama was an Arab, and he called his rival "a decent, family man."

On Saturday, McCain called on Obama to repudiate Lewis' remarks. While dismissing the comparison to Wallace, Obama campaign spokesman Bill Burton said Lewis was on target in other ways.

"John Lewis was right to condemn some of the hateful rhetoric that John McCain himself personally rebuked just last night, as well as the baseless and profoundly irresponsible charges from his own running mate that the Democratic nominee for president of the United States 'pals around with terrorists,'" Burton said in a statement.

McCain rejected any comparison to Wallace.

"I am saddened that John Lewis, a man I've always admired, would make such a brazen and baseless attack on my character and the character of the thousands of hardworking Americans who come to our events to cheer for the kind of reform that will put America on the right track," McCain said.

Late Nite Jokes

Jay Leno

Tomorrow, America’s most famous hockey mom, Sarah Palin, will drop the first puck at the Philadelphia Flyers game. Afterwards, she’ll get out on the ice and skate around reporters’ question.

Good news: she was cleared in that “troopergate” scandal. You know who cleared her? Sarah Palin.

Before lawmakers in Alaska could release their report on the scandal, Palin’s campaign released the results of their own investigation clearing her of any wrongdoing. Thank God we cleared that up. Apparently, she can see the courthouse from her front porch.

Do you remember when we had an economy? Things are so bad, when President Bush flies Ari Force One, he’s has to fly coach.

David Letterman

On this date in 1901, boxer shorts were invented. That may not mean much to you, but it’s sure made life comfortable for Rosie O’Donnell.

Congratulations to Bill and Hillary Clinton; it’s their 33rd wedding anniversary. And I thought the Iraq war was a never-ending conflict.

Hillary is celebrating 33 years with Bill. Or as Hillary likes calls it, “the bridge to nowhere.”

At least Hillary gets to have one celebration this year.

Conan O'Brien

A town in upstate New York is being accused of being biased because they sent out absentee ballots that say "Barack Osama." Today they apologized and printed new ballots that say, "Barack Hussein Osama.”

Today The Washington Post compared the 2008 presidential election to the 1932 presidential election. Mainly because 1932 was the first time John McCain ran for president.

Due to complaints, Walgreen’s drugstore has been forced to remove talking dolls of Barack Obama and John McCain. Walgreen’s was also forced to remove the real Ralph Nader from their store.

In a new interview, Angelina Jolie said, "I'm with a man who's evolved enough to look at my body and see it as more beautiful because of the journey it has taken and what it has created." Then, Brad Pitt said, "Yeah, whatever.”

Craig Ferguson

This week, the National Rifle Association endorsed John McCain and Sarah Palin. Gov. Palin is a huge gun enthusiast. She is actually using a shotgun to plan daughter’s wedding.

According to a new study this week, eight out of 10 Americans are stressed about the economy. Apparently two out of 10 Americans are in a coma.

According to Esquire magazine, Halle Berry is the sexiest woman alive. Take that Angelina Jolie, you washed-up hag.

McCain Drops Va. GOP County Chairman Over Column

DANVILLE, Va. -- Republican presidential candidate John McCain's campaign has ousted a prominent Virginia GOP figure who wrote a newspaper column mocking a potential Barack Obama administration.

A McCain spokeswoman said Bobby May was dropped this week from his job as McCain's Buchanan County campaign chairman.

May wrote in his column, "The (clarified) platform of Barack Hussein Obama," that if the Democratic senator were elected he would hire rapper Ludacris to paint the White House black and change the national anthem to the "Black National Anthem."

The column originally appeared in The Voice, a local newspaper.

May has worked on dozens of state Republican campaigns.

Late Nite Jokes

Jay Leno

Everyone is talking about how boring the debate was the other night. Experts say neither candidate scored a knockout punch. But I don’t know about that — after about 10 minutes, I was out like a light.

Obama says there’s nothing to the accusation of a friendship with ‘60s radical Bill Ayers. He says Ayers was a person he knew early in his career, but now plays no role in his campaign. Kind of like the Clintons.

In describing her beautiful home, Sarah Palin says that when she stands on her porch she can see the moon. You know what that means — she’s now qualified to be an astronaut.

AIG executives asked for and got another $37 billion. Earlier this week, they announced they are going on another retreat. This time with golf and massages at the Ritz Carlton. You know, instead of a bailout, how about locking these guys up with no bail?

David Letterman

Beautiful day in New York City: 72 and sunny. John McCain? Seventy-three and cranky.

I like John McCain. He looks like the guy at Home Depot who mixes paint.

At the debate, John McCain referred to Barack Obama as “that one.” McCain later apologized. He got confused — he thought he was at the bakery.

President Bush announced he’s taking over the banks. Well . . . crisis over!

Conan O'Brien

Today is Yom Kippur, the holiest day of the Jewish calendar. Or as we call it the O’Brien house, Thursday.

On Saturday night, Sarah Palin is going to drop the first puck at the Philadelphia Flyers’ hockey game. Then Palin will spend the rest of the game trying to keep the hockey players out of her daughter’s penalty box.

This week, independent presidential candidate Ralph Nader announced that he is opening up 22 campaign offices nationwide. Which means that every Nader supporter will get his or her own office.

Members of the press corps are complaining that Barack Obama’s airplane is cramped and has a terrible odor. So finally, with just one month until the election, we’ve found the comedic take on Obama: He has a smelly plane.

Craig Ferguson

Madonna started her new tour in New York. At the concert, she said she is going to kick Sarah Palin’s ass. That would be one sexy underpants pillow fight.

Madonna and Sarah Plain are very different, of course. One is an insane celebrity who has no business discussing politics, and the other one is Madonna.

It’s Leif Ericson Day — the anniversary of the Viking Leif Ericson landing in the North American continent a thousand years ago. Ericson was a long-haired warrior from the icy north who liked to kill things. He was the Sarah Palin of his time.

He probably read more newspapers, though.

Obama Campaign Runs Afoul of Finance Rules

A Newsmax investigation of Barack Obama’s presidential campaign finance reports has turned up more than 2,000 cases in which individuals have made donations far above the legal limit of $2,300 per election.

Such donations, if not returned within 60 days, violate federal campaign finance laws.

Some can be chalked up to common names, such as Michael Brown, William Taylor, or James Smith.

But many others cannot.

On Aug. 31, for example, the Obama campaign filed a report listing a single donation from a Debra Myers in “Rancho Palos Verde, Calif.,” for $28,500 – more than 10 times the amount the law allows per election. Although Debra Myers is identified as a physician, only two individuals with that last name have a listed phone number in Rancho Palos Verdes (the city’s name actually does have an “s” at the end). Neither is a Debra or a “D” Myers, or a physician.

The Obama campaign also identified Woodrow Myers Jr. of Indianapolis, Ind., on Aug. 31 as having given $28,500 to the campaign. Woodrow “Woody” Myers is a former Indiana state health commissioner who spent $2.1 million of his own money in a failed special election to challenge Andre Carson, the grandson of U.S. Rep. Julia Carson, who died in December. The younger Carson won the race this year, with heavy backing from lobbyists, the Democratic Party and related PACs. (Interestingly, Woodrow Myers' wife is identified as Debra, although Newsmax could not confirm whether this is the same Debra Myers the campaign report lists as being from Palos Verdes.)

In an initial reply to Newsmax questions, the Obama campaign said it had refunded both contributions on Sept. 30, a day after a Newsmax investigation was published that revealed extensive federal election campaign violations by the campaign.

The Republican National Committee cited that earlier Newsmax investigation in a formal complaint against the Obama campaign with the Federal Election Commission on Monday.

Several hours later, Obama spokesman Ben LaBolt e-mailed Newsmax to say that the contributions had been “reattributed” to the Obama Victory Fund, a joint fundraising committee with the Democratic National Committee, and that the excess had been refunded.

That still put both Debra Myers and Woodrow Myers over the federal limits – unless the Obama campaign refunded their entire checks, since Debra gave another $28,500 earlier in the year to the Democratic Congressional Campaign Committee, and Woodrow was way over the $108,2000 overall election cycle limit for individuals.

Individuals can give $2,300 to a federal candidate in both the primary and the general election, for a total of $4,600 in a single election cycle. They also can give $28,500 to a national party committee, $10,000 to a state or local committee, and $5,000 to other political committees.

If a candidate loses the primary, any money counted toward the general election must be refunded, a wrinkle in the federal election laws that can sink losing candidates deep in debt.

In exchange for receiving federal funding, the McCain campaign agreed not to take any money from individual donors for the general election, so its donors are limited to $2,300.

In addition to Debra Myers and Woodrow Meyers, hundreds of other individual donors have given to the Obama campaign far in excess of the legal limit, a Newsmax analysis of campaign finance records shows.

Among them:

James Sievers of Big Sky, Mont., gave a total of $20,700 to the campaign, in five donations between March and June of this year. The campaign has returned close to $7,000 of the money but has kept the rest.

Martin Dies of Austin, Texas, also gave $20,700 to the campaign, in four separate checks, each dated June 30, 2007. The campaign returned $2,300 of it immediately, and another $4,600 in September, but kept $13,800 – three times the legal limit.

Robert Watt of Brooklyn, N.Y., gave close to $17,000 to the campaign starting in February of this year, including a whopping $10,000 check logged by the campaign on Aug. 31. Despite the obvious violation of the campaign limits, FEC records show that the campaign returned just $2,300.

Ryan Finley of Portland, Ore., has given $15,400 to Obama for America, starting with two checks on March 6, 2007, totaling $6,900. The campaign immediately returned $2,300, bringing him within the legal limit. He gave another $8,500 in a lump sum on Aug. 26, 2008.

Ms. Merry T. O’Donnell of Juno Beach, Fla., has given $13,150 to the Obama campaign, starting with three donations in March 2007 that totaled $2,000. In January 2008, she gave two more donations of $1,000 each, as well as donations for $600 and for $2,000. In February, she gave another $4,600. As of the latest filing, the campaign has refunded just $2,300 of the total, leaving her net donations at over two times the legal limit for the two elections.

Jerry Rubin of Whitefish Bay, Wis., has given $12,700 to the Obama campaign in varying amounts since February 2007. Despite the obvious violation, the campaign has refunded just $3,400 of that total, still putting him at double the legal limit.

These are just a sampling of the 2,087 individuals who have given Obama more than the $4,600 combined total for the primaries and the general election.

Donors with common names but who live in different parts of the country are among these 2,087 names. For example, the top individual contributor is Michael Brown, listed as giving $36,706 to the campaign.

But a closer look turns up what appear to be 46 different people sharing the same name, each giving addresses in different cities around the United States.

Newsmax has screened donors appearing in the FEC database to weed out those with similar names and different addresses.

For example, in the examples listed in this article, we have eliminated any donations from individuals with the same name who are listed as having a different address.

The FEC regularly sends letters to the Obama campaign, questioning contributions that appear to go over the legal limits. In many cases, the Obama campaign has amended its reports as a result.

But the examples cited here have not been amended.

“It is illegal to make contributions in excess of the limits, and it is illegal to receive contributions in excess of the limits,” FEC spokesman Bob Biersack told Newsmax.

So both the donors and the campaign may have broken the law. “But there are lots of circumstances, and until the four commissioners have agreed to rule, it’s hard to judge,” he said.

Obama campaign spokesman Ben LaBolt told Newsmax that the McCain campaign also has caught excess donations and has “refunded $1.2 million in contributions.”

Sean Cairncross, the general counsel for the Republican National Committee who filed the complaint with the FEC on Monday, told Newsmax that the McCain campaign has been “completely transparent with respect to its contributions” by making the names of all donors available to the public in a searchable database. The McCain campaign has even disclosed donors of $200 or less, though it is not required to do so. The Obama camp has not disclosed those donors.

“The Obama campaign has steadfastly refused to make that information public,” he said.

Referring specifically to the huge amount of money that the Obama campaign claims it has raised from small donors, Cairncross said the identity and nationality of those donors could very well remain secret until well after the election unless the Obama campaign makes their names public.

“The American people deserve to know where $250 million in contributions — money that could potentially elect a president — is coming from,” he said. “And at this point, we have no way of knowing.”

Late Nite Jokes

Jay Leno

All the networks had their own spin on the debate last night . . . each calling it something different. ABC called it “Dancing Around the Questions.”

I don’t want to say the debate was boring, but I didn’t think a political event could be that dull without the help of Al Gore.

It got a little heated at one point when McCain said that we don’t have time for on-the-job training. Then I thought, “Well then why did you pick Sarah Palin?”

The only really new proposal came from John McCain. McCain proposed buying up bad homeowner mortgages. Not to save the middle class — you know McCain, he just likes buying houses.

Late Show Top Ten

Top Ten Signs The Campaign Is Getting Ugly

10. Three times Straight Talk Express has "accidentally" knocked over Obama's mailbox

9. Next debate will be moderated by Jerry Springer

8. McCain keeps referring to opponent as "Sen. Barack Hussein Obama bin Laden"

7. Sarah Palin says she can see Joe Biden's hair plugs from her house

6. Desperate attempt to connect Obama to the last eight years of Regis

5. No number 5 — economy so bad, writer putting everything he owns up on eBay

4. They have resorted to "Your vice president's so dumb" jokes

3. Obama claimed McCain's irresponsibility caused the 1929 stock market crash

2. Even Dick Cheney thinks they're being cruel

1. Obama's gloves are off, McCain's teeth are out

David Letterman

Tom Brokaw did a tremendous job moderating the debate. At one point, Tom tells Obama and McCain that they’re going to answer questions that came in over the Internet. And McCain said, “Tom . . . is that the same as the telegraph?”

I think McCain isn’t that great a debater. At one point, he said to Obama, “Hey — if you’re so smart, how come you’re not farther ahead in the polls?”

But McCain did say that two years ago he warned everyone about “Beverly Hills Chihuahua.”

They had the town-hall format. That means the candidates could move around on the stage. McCain looked like a retiree who couldn’t find his Buick.

Conan O'Brien

Last night’s presidential debate between Barack Obama and John McCain is being called flat, boring, and uninteresting. As a result, it’s been picked up as a fall series by NBC.

During the debate, John McCain sparked a controversy when he referred to Barack Obama as "that one." Afterwards, McCain said, "What — like I’m supposed to remember everyone's name now?”

Because of all the international focus on the election, the debate was broadcast in foreign countries all across Europe, Asia, and South America. Or as Sarah Palin calls them — "Russia.”

People looking into Barack Obama’s campaign contributions say that Obama may have received $3.3 million from abroad. And it turns out that broad is Oprah Winfrey.

Craig Ferguson

Most people would say Barack Obama is winning: He’s ahead in the polls; he has ways to fix the economy; and he’s with that gorgeous sex-pot Joe Biden.

But I wouldn’t rule out John McCain, just yet. Obama is like the hare, surging ahead with his ideas . . . his plans . . . his cute little bunny ears . . .

McCain is like the tortoise. He’s thousands of years old . . . shuffling forward, occasionally poking his head out of his shell to go to the bathroom . . .

I did take exception to McCain calling Obama “that one.” I can’t think of anytime it would be appropriate to call a United States senator “that one.” Well, maybe if you had to pick a senator out of a lineup.

Obama Overseas Money Could Total $3.3 Million

Democratic presidential candidate Barack Obama has raised about $3.3 million from contributors who did not list a home state or who designated their state with an abbreviation that did not match one of the 50 states or U.S. territories, according to records provided by the Federal Election Commission.

Most of those contributors did identify themselves as living abroad in foreign cities. Under federal law, foreign citizens cannot make political contributions, but U.S. citizens living abroad can.

The Republican National Committee filed a complaint with the Federal Election Commission on Monday asking for an investigation of Obama's foreign contributions, among other things.

The FEC on Monday provided The Associated Press with a spread sheet of potential overseas donors that did not include contributors who left their state designation blank. As a result, the list was incomplete.

The $3.3 million total does not include donors who have given less than $200 and whose contributions do not have to be itemized. Some of that money could also have come from overseas. About half of Obama's $455 million in contributions so far are unitemized. The campaign does not identify those donors. Republican John McCain's campaign lists all his donors, even those who give less than $200, on his Web site.

The Obama campaign has begun to request passport numbers from donors to verify their citizenship.

Late Nite Jokes

Jay Leno

At the debate earlier, Barack Obama took a page from Sarah Palin’s book and walked up to John McCain and said, “May I call you old?”

The debate took place in Nashville, Tenn., which is perfect — the economy right now is kind of like a bad country song: “I lost my girl; I lost my house . . .”

The debate was held in “town-hall” style — which means instead of ignoring the moderator’s questions, the candidates could ignore the voters directly.

The town-hall format is John McCain’s favorite, as opposed to Barack Obama’s favorite way — "Sermon on the Mount."

Late Show Top Ten

Top Ten Signs You're Watching A Bad Presidential Debate

10. It's a town hall debate, but the town is in a mountainous region of Pakistan

9. Tom Brokaw leaves early to catch 9:15 showing of "Beverly Hills Chihuahua"

8. Topics fall into the categories "Domestic policy," "ForeignPpolicy," and "Burt Reynolds Films of the '70s"

7. Keep arguing about who has more friends on Facebook

6. Candidate says, "Why you hatin'?" Other responds, "Why you buggin'?"

5. It's covered by CBS, NBC, ABC, and the Howard 100 News team

4. Candidates ignore questions and gossip about which Senate pages are sluts

3. The yodeling competition

2. Disproportionate amount of questions about "The Hills"

1. It's 90 minutes of folksy phrases and winking

David Letterman

The second presidential debate was last night. The debate got off to an awkward start when a confused John McCain asked Barack Obama, “May I call you Joe?”

It was a “town-hall” format, meaning candidates could walk around the stage. It was pretty successful — John McCain only wandered off twice.

McCain was walking around a little confused — he started singing “Sweet Caroline.”

This was the second presidential debate — things are really starting to look bad for Hillary.

Conan O'Brien

People who didn’t want to watch the presidential debate were able to switch over to watch Paris Hilton’s new reality show. In honor of the debate, tonight’s episode of Paris’ show featured Paris having sex in the "town-hall format.”

Some of the questions for the debate were submitted by people on the Internet. When faced with the Internet questions, John McCain said he refuses to engage with wizards or warlocks.

In a recent speech, Sarah Palin referred to Afghanistan as "our neighboring country." Then she promised to find Osama bin Laden in the mountains of Toronto.

President Bush gave a speech today about the economy, and he said that he believes that “anyone who makes bad decisions should fail.” Then Bush looked around the room and said, "Hey, why did it get so quiet in here?”

Craig Ferguson

The Dow is going down faster than O.J. Simpson in prison.

The debate was last night — McCain prepared by putting new tennis balls on his walker.

The media treats these guys like their too cute to question seriously — like they’re The Jonas Brothers or something.

Obama and ACORN

By: Lowell Ponte

Barack Obama is running as fast and as far away from his association with the radical group ACORN as he can, but he can’t hide from the facts of his close relationship with the organization.

ACORN, or Association of Community Organizations for Reform Now, describes itself as a “non-partisan” group devoted to helping the poor and to registering millions to vote. Critics accuse ACORN of involvement vote fraud, voter intimidation, shakedowns against businesses, and the promotion of socialist class hatred and class warfare.

Apparently worried by the connection between Obama and the group, his campaign has put claims of his ties to ACORN as the lead item on its “Fight The Smears” Web site — a site the Obama campaign created to counter what they claim are partisan lies made up against their candidate.

The release on the Obama site reads: “When Obama met with ACORN leaders in November, he reminded them of his history with ACORN and his beginnings in Illinois as a Project Vote organizer, a nonprofit focused on voter rights and education. Senator Obama said, ‘I come out of a grassroots organizing background. That's what I did for three and half years before I went to law school. That's the reason I moved to Chicago was to organize.

“So this is something that I know personally, the work you do, the importance of it. I've been fighting alongside ACORN on issues you care about my entire career. Even before I was an elected official, when I ran Project Vote voter registration drive in Illinois, ACORN was smack dab in the middle of it, and we appreciate your work.”

Indeed, Obama was being far too modest. The 2008 Democratic presidential nominee had worked not just alongside ACORN, but also as a key operative for the organization.

He was its lawyer in several pivotal ACORN cases.

Obama funded a number of its activities, as well. When he sat on the board of the prestigious Woods Fund for Chicago alongside former Weather Underground terrorist William Ayers, he oversaw and approved many grants for ACORN.

As the National Review’s Stanley Kurtz reported, one Woods committee report boasted that the fund’s “non-ideological” public image “enabled the Trustees to make grants to organizations that use confrontational tactics against the business and government ‘establishments’ without undue risk of being accused of partisanship.”

Obama was the Illinois director of ACORN’s controversial voter registration operation, and he trained the group’s leaders in the ways of radical, sometimes illegal, confrontational politics.

He also paid ACORN affiliates during his recent Democratic primary contest. For example, leading up to the 2008 Ohio Democratic Primary, Obama’s campaign between Feb. 25 and March 17 paid Citizens Services, Inc., a subsidiary of ACORN, $832,598, apparently for get-out-the-vote activities.

Obama’s mysterious, shrouded past as a “community organizer” is closely tied to ACORN, a group that supplies a large share of the Democratic Party political shock troops responsible for the party’s recapture of Congress in 2006.

ACORN has at least 350,000 dues-paying member families, and more than 800 chapters spread among at least 104 U.S. cities as well as in Canada, Mexico, Argentina, and Peru.

To outsiders, Obama’s “long service with ACORN led many of its members to serve as the voluntary shock troops of Obama’s early political campaigns — his initial 1996 State Senate campaign, and his failed bid for Congress in 2000,” wrote Kurtz. “With Obama having personally helped train a new cadre of Chicago ACORN leaders, by the time of Obama’s 2004 U.S. Senate campaign, Obama and ACORN were ‘old friends.’”

ACORN’s Radical Roots

ACORN’s four co-founders were 1960s New Leftists. One was George Wiley, whose National Welfare Rights Organization (NWRO) members practiced confrontation politics, e.g., swarming into welfare offices and bullying social workers. The second ACORN co-founder was NWRO organizer Gary Delgado.

Wiley made no secret that he followed the radical tactics proposed in the far-left The Nation Magazine by socialist Columbia University scholars Richard Cloward and Frances Fox Piven, who argued that American capitalism could be bankrupted and destroyed by overloading our system with ever-rising costs and bureaucratic demands. (In 1996, President Bill Clinton invited Cloward and Piven to the White House as honored guests.)

ACORN’s other founders and longtime bosses were former Students for a Democratic Society (SDS) activist Wade Rathke, a close NWRO ally, and his brother Dale.

“We are the majority, forged from all minorities,” proclaimed ACORN’s founding 1970 “People’s Platform” manifesto. “We are the masses of many, not the forces of few…. We will wait no longer for the crumbs at America’s door. We will not be meek, but mighty.”

In ACORN, the Rathkes replaced Cloward-Piven tactics designed to overthrow capitalist America with the confrontational-but-compromising tactics of Chicago socialist Saul Alinsky.

“Instead of trying to overturn ‘the system — to blow it up, as Wiley wanted to do, ACORN burrows deep within the system,” wrote Manhattan Institute scholar Sol Stern, adding, “taking over its power and using its institutions for its own purposes, like a political ‘Invasion of the Body Snatchers.’”

The Rathkes first established ACORN as the Arkansas Community Organizations for Reform Now and struck a personal deal with that state’s liberal Republican then-Gov. Winthrop Rockefeller, who reportedly paid the newly-sprouted ACORN $5,000 in cash to register voters. “Of course, they thought we were going to register Republicans,” Delgado later boasted. “We did not register a single Republican voter in that election. However, we did use those resources early on to build the organization.”

Obama, ACORN, and Vote Fraud

Selectively adding millions of Democratic names to the voter rolls remains one of ACORN’s most lucrative activities, for which this organization has been given millions of dollars by organized labor, non-profit foundations, and Democratic-controlled government agencies.

Because Obama had worked closely with one of its leaders, Madeline Talbott, ACORN, in 1995, specifically sought out this radical young lawyer to help craft its lawsuit to impose President Bill Clinton’s 1993 National Voter Registration Act, nicknamed “Motor Voter,” according to Chicago ACORN leader Toni Foulkes.

Obama’s ACORN lawsuit won, thereby slapping aside state officials who resisted Motor Voter because of what it soon proved to be: a 12-lane superhighway to massive vote fraud.

The Motor Voter law required bureaucrats at welfare offices, the Department of Motor Vehicles, and other government offices to register as voters those who used their services. “Examiners were under orders not to ask anyone for identification or proof of citizenship,” wrote Wall Street Journal reporter John Fund in his book “Stealing Elections: How Voter Fraud Threatens Our Democracy.” “States also had to permit mail-in voter registrations, which allowed anyone to register without any personal contact with a registrar or election official.”

Those who took advantage of government services such as welfare were disproportionately likely to vote for the Big Government party. Motor Voter also made it more difficult to purge voter rolls of fraudulent registrations.

Motor Voter, wrote Fund, “fueled an explosion of phantom voters.” But in Barack Obama’s Democrat-ruled Chicago, phantom voters and voting graveyards are nothing new.

Motor Voter was the Clinton administration’s attempt permanently to tilt voter rolls in favor of the Democratic Party. And Obama, working for ACORN, played a key role in imposing this law.

Perhaps thanks to ACORN’s and Motor Voter’s influence, of the 19 foreign terrorists who attacked America on 9/11, at least six were registered to vote.

In 1992, Obama took time off as a lawyer to direct Project Vote, ACORN’s voter mobilization entity, statewide in Illinois. Project Vote added an estimated 125,000 names to voter rolls, which helped propel Democrat Carol Moseley Braun into the same U.S. Senate seat Obama now holds.

Nationwide, ACORN’s Project Vote claims to have helped register more than 4 million voters in low-income and minority neighborhoods. Project Vote’s tax-exempt 501(c)(3) status prohibits its involvement in partisan political activity, but one of its leaders told Foundation Watch that “lots of grass-roots members” are assisting the 2008 Obama presidential campaign.

ACORN, wrote Foundation Watch investigators Elias Crim and Matthew Vadum last June, has a “record of highly-publicized voter fraud allegations” lodged against it “in Ohio (2004), Wisconsin (2004), Florida (2004), New Mexico (2004), Colorado (2005), Missouri (2006), and Washington State (2007).” They could have named other states as well.

In 2006, in Missouri’s U.S. Senate race, Republican incumbent James Talent lost by about 50,000 votes to Democrat Claire McCaskill.

“A sizeable portion of that margin,” wrote columnist Carl Horowitz, “was attributable to ACORN organizers submitting phony or at least suspicious voter-registration cards to election officials in the St. Louis and Kansas City metro areas. Several ACORN members in Kansas City were indicted by the U.S. Attorney’s Office just prior to Election Day, and eventually pleaded guilty. [Wade] Rathke, not one for subtlety, called City of St. Louis election officials ‘slop buckets’ when they questioned the veracity of ACORN-submitted forms.”

And who was Missouri state auditor during 2006, responsible at a statewide level for overseeing the honesty of voter registration? “That,” wrote Horowitz, “would be Claire McCaskill.” And Sen. McCaskill is one of Obama’s most ardent supporters.

In Florida, ACORN’s 2004 Miami-Dade field director, Mac Stuart, according to David Horowitz’s DiscoverTheNetworks.org investigation, “has testified that fraud is standard procedure for ACORN/Project Vote canvassers — behavior that is not only tolerated, but encouraged by supervisors.” Stuart reportedly told investigators: “[T]he voter registration project has been operating illegally since it started.”

In 2005, Virginia authorities sampled Project Vote registrations and rejected 83 percent of them for containing false or questionable information.

In Washington state, five ACORN employees were convicted in 2007 in what its Secretary of State Sam Reed called “the worst case of election fraud in our state’s history. It was an outrage.”

In this state the current Democratic Gov. Christine Gregoire was elected literally by a handful of votes, but 450 apparently fictitious names were found registered to vote as Democrats at a single address. At least 1,700 ACORN voter registrations — using the names of Harry Reid, Dennis Hastert, and movie and sports stars — were later revoked in just one county of the state.

In Nevada, the state most likely to decide the 2008 presidential election, the Las Vegas Review-Journal last July 7 reported that a Clark County official “sees rampant fraud in the 2,000 to 3,000 registrations ACORN turns in every week.”

ACORN, of course, blames a handful of overzealous activists or mercenaries for acts of voter registration fraud. ACORN denies that it condones or encourages any illegal behavior.

Intimidation Politics

Incidentally, Obama’s ACORN comrade Madeline Talbott, according to Kurtz, “was so impressed by Obama’s organizing skills that she invited him to help train her own staff.” In 1997, notes Kurtz, Talbott was “a key leader” of 200 ACORN protestors who on July 31 tried to storm a Chicago City Council session.

These ACORN demonstrators, wrote Kurtz, reportedly “pushed over a metal detector and table used to screen visitors, backed police against the doors to the council chamber, and blocked late-arriving aldermen and city staff from entering the session….almost certainly a deliberate bit of what radicals call ‘direct action,’ orchestrated by ACORN’s Madeline Talbott,” who was “led away handcuffed, charged with mob action and disorderly conduct.”

Obama has never been led away in handcuffs for radical behavior. But, notes Kurtz, Obama has used groups of ominously angry activists to intimidate and pressure local officials.

A newspaper photo of Obama in his “community organizer” days shows him next to activist group the Developing Communities Project (DCP) posters that read: “It’s a power thing.” The ACORN organizer manual likewise declares, “This is a mass organization directed at political power where might makes right.”

Obama supporters in 2008 have angrily demonstrated against, and shared information intended to disrupt, a radio talk show in Chicago that has had Kurtz as a guest. This could be a foretaste of how intimidation might be used to stifle criticism of a President Obama administration.

Money-Hungry ACORN

By the 1980s, ACORN was expanding its horizons from voter registration to housing.

“In 1985, ACORN illegally seized 25 abandoned buildings owned by New York City and installed squatters as residents,” recounted a New York Post editorial. “A weak-kneed City Hall eventually gave the group title to the buildings — proving that crime can pay.”

In 1977, President Jimmy Carter signed the Community Redevelopment Act (CRA), which, in retrospect, was the opening wedge for what now threatens to become a government takeover of all housing in America. Under Carter’s administration, the domestic Peace Corps government entity VISTA, Volunteers in Service to America, gave a federal grant of $470,000 to ACORN to train volunteers to help low-income citizens.

A later congressional investigation found that ACORN illegally used this money for labor organizing.

According to ACORN co-founder Delgado, after two of “their own,” Sam Brown and Marjorie Tabankin, became directors of Carter’s ACTION agency and VISTA program, “over 3 million dollars was funneled directly to ACORN” and other left-wing organizations.

After the Clinton administration gave a grant worth more than $1 million to ACORN Housing Corp, an investigation by the inspector general of AmeriCorps found that AHC used government funds to register low-income persons for paid ACORN memberships, in violation of federal law.

Apparently this taxpayer money was given only to those poor people who agreed to pay $60 immediately back to ACORN.

By the infiltration of ideological comrades into positions of power at government agencies, ACORN became the recipient of a flood of taxpayer-funded grants, including some worth millions of dollars. AHC alone between 1997 and 2006 received more than $11,230,000 in public funds.

In 2005 alone, according to Department of Labor disclosure statements, labor leaders reportedly paid more than $2.4 million to ACORN in gifts, grants, and fees for organizing work.

Mandatory family membership dues bring ACORN another $3 million or so per year.

But foundations and churches, boasted Wade Rathke in 2004, account for less than half the revenue ACORN pockets from corporations that had been the targets of successful ACORN protest campaigns.

ACORN and Today’s Credit Crisis

President Carter’s CRA and related laws were repeatedly expanded to require lending institutions to avoid “redlining” policies that denied home loans to those in minority neighborhoods.

Obama was one of many lawyers who profited from successfully suing on grounds that discrimination was the reason an African-American was denied a home loan.

Banks and other lenders needed not only public good will but also the cooperation of government regulators to approve mergers and other business activities. Expanding laws such as CRA meant that if ACORN accused a bank of racial discrimination and unleashed protestors against it, however unjustly, that bank might suddenly face very unfriendly government regulators. Banks were thus set up to be easy victims for ACORN shakedowns, and paying protection money became necessary for bank survival.

“The same corporations that pay ransom to Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton pay ransom to ACORN,” said Robert L. Woodson, President of the National Center for Neighborhood Enterprise.

“The 2000 tax return for the ACORN Housing Corporation,” reported the Employment Policies Institute (EPI), “disclosed grants from Bank of America, Fleet Services Corporation, Fannie Mae Foundation, Chase Manhattan Foundation, and Well Fargo Foundation totaling $4,752,198.” And AHC is just one of 100 arms of the ACORN octopus.

“The banks know they are being held up,” one financial industry consultant told EPI researchers, “but they are not going to fight over this. They look at it as a cost of doing business.”

Politicians and left-wing activist groups including ACORN were doing more than shaking down lending institutions for their own profit. They also demanded that lending standards be loosened for those in the underclass who tend to vote Democratic.

With a large political gun aimed at their heads, banks commenced making hundreds of thousands of what they called “Ninja” — no income, no job, no assets — loans to minorities who previously would have been deemed uncreditworthy. Knowing that many of these loans they were coerced to make would go bad, many lending institutions bundled them into new types of investment packages and sold them to shed risk.

The giant quasi-governmental lending institutions Freddie Mac and Fanny Mae, both largely run by Democratic appointees, became sources of funding for groups such as ACORN that aided Democratic politicians — and promoters of high-risk subprime home loans.

Democratic executives at these institutions, such as former Clinton administration member and Fannie Mae chair and chief executive officer, Franklin Raines, arranged to have their incomes increase with the amount of lending their institutions did. In six years of recklessly having Fanny Mae assume an astronomical burden of risk, Raines pushed his own income above $90 million.

As former federal prosecutor James H. Walsh recounted in a Sept. 22 Newsmax.com article, Raines was an adviser to Obama until recent national financial problems made Raines too risky to embrace.

[Editor's Note: Read “Obama, Voter Fraud & Mortgage Meltdown” — Go Here Now].

Obama, noted Walsh, had been “the Senate’s second-largest recipient of campaign contributions from Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac.”

Is ACORN troubled by what many are calling a credit meltdown and the likelihood that many minority homeowners may lose their homes? Probably not, because the ideological aim of ACORN’s radical founders was to destroy capitalism and replace it with socialism. In the current financial situation, government will get bigger, free markets will become less free, and vast amounts of capital will shift from private companies to government.

For those like Barack Obama who share ACORN’s ideology, the situation is perfect — heads, government wins; tails, capitalism loses. If people keep their homes, many will naively thank the Democratic politicians and left-wing activists who caused their problems in the first place. If poor people lose their homes, they will be that much easier for ACORN to brainwash with class hatred against evil capitalists.

And lest we forget, the first think that congressional Democrats put into their proposed “bailout package” to solve the financial crisis was a permanent slush fund to be extracted from capitalist institutions that would start growing at more than $20 million. The beneficiaries of this now-deleted slush fund were to have been radical Democrat-allied organizations such as ACORN.

Greedy Lefists

The Rathkes commingled ACORN’s socialist redistribute-the-wealth ideology with their own hypocrisy and personal greed. From ACORN, they spun off approximately 100 other legal entities.

They then created a shell game under which money acquired by one ACORN front group, e.g., Project Vote, would be moved to other ACORN-controlled groups, in some cases to acquire property.

One former Arkansas ACORN chair, Dorothy Perkins, according to the Arkansas Democrat-Gazette, described the organization as “building up a land portfolio” that was supposed to “translate to money and power for the national organization.”

But that money was “never seen” by the poor people ACORN claimed to serve, she said, and “all the money ended up” under Wade Rathke’s control. Rathke, she said, ran ACORN “like a Jim Jones cult.”

Relatively little of the redistributed wealth of Rathke’s ACORN conglomerate trickled down to the poor, and comparatively little went to the organization’s thousands of full-time “community organizers.”

Typical pay was $25,000 a year or less, for which ACORN employees were expected to work 54 hours or more per week, weekends included. In 2006, ACORN required many of its workers in Missouri to sign an agreement that they would be “working up to 80 hours over seven days of work.”

ACORN went to court in California, arguing unsuccessfully that it should be exempt from minimum wage laws. But in recent years, ACORN has staged many demonstrations to demand a “living wage,” typically a minimum of $12 or more per hour, for minimum wage workers.

According to Mac Stuart, ACORN collected more than $4 for each completed, and illegally copied, voter registration. Its workers who found people and submitted their registrations were paid only $2, with ACORN and the Rathkes pocketing the difference.

But ACORN had many other sources for its annual $37.5 million budget, including millions in government and foundation grants.

ACORN head Wade Rathke was also chief organizer of a New Orleans local of one of America’s most radical labor unions, the Service Employee’s International Union (SEIU), and ACORN was a close ally of organized labor. Unions sometimes paid ACORN to have its low-paid workers march with picket signs pretending to be striking union members.

When ACORN workers, as well as those in his SEIU union local, tried to form their own unions to bargain for higher wages and shorter hours, Rathke successfully used a wide array of union-busting techniques to stop them — the same kinds of techniques he routinely condemned other businesses for using.

But the Rathkes fell from power in 2008 shortly before The New York Times on July 9 reported that in 1999-2000 Dale Rathke, then ACORN’s chief financial officer, had diverted $948,607 from ACORN and affiliated charitable organization accounts.

Other ACORN officials in 2001 reportedly obtained a restitution agreement from Wade Rathke to repay the missing funds in $30,000 per-year installments.

ACORN, meanwhile, continued to pay Wade Rathke considerably more than $30,000 each year, in effect covering these repayments, while Dale Rathke’s apparent embezzlement of almost a million dollars — in contributions to help the poor — was kept secret from the public and from those funding ACORN.

“How did ACORN handle the crime?” asked a July 13 New York Post editorial. “By disguising it on the books as a loan from one of its contractors….” and only letting Rathke go “when word of his fraud leaked to donors…. most of the people who covered up the embezzlement are still working for ACORN.”

“We thought it best at the time to protect the organizations,” said ACORN President Maude Hurd. “We did what we thought was right.” Or what served the interests of the left.

Welcome to ACORN, the organization that made Barack Obama what he is today, and that may make him president of the United States.