Thursday, October 16, 2008
Late Nite Jokes
Jay Leno
Fires in Los Angeles, again. People in Hollywood don’t know how to deal with fires. Especially celebrities. When celebrities see a burning bush, they rush toward it, because they think Barack Obama’s about to speak.
Tonight was the very last presidential debate . . . which means prayer does work.
Hillary Clinton said on Fox News that there is no chance of her ever running for president again . . . this year.
In an article in The Washington Post, medical experts say Joe Biden may have had Botox. You know how they could tell? His expression didn’t change when they asked him about his hair plugs.
David Letterman
Dick Cheney was admitted to a hospital earlier today for abnormal heart rhythm. But he’s doing fine. He’s already sitting up staring at nurses.
He’ll be out shooting hunting buddies in no time.
Barack Obama is going door to door for his campaign. It’s kind of a throwback. And I don’t know if he’s changed anybody’s votes, but today he came back home with a big bag of Halloween candy.
It was a little embarrassing when he rang the doorbell at two of McCain’s houses.
Conan O'Brien
Earlier this evening, the third presidential debate was held, and Hillary Clinton was sitting in the audience. In fact, when John McCain was attacking Barack Obama, you could hear Hillary yelling, ”Get’em!"
Yesterday in New York City, a woman gave birth to a baby at JFK airport. People at JFK were shocked because it was the first time in years they have seen an on-time arrival.
Josh Brolin, who plays President Bush in the new movie “W.,” says at first he wasn’t sure he should take the role, because it would be such an acting challenge. Brolin says he prepared for the role by getting up every day, running five miles, and then bashing himself in the head with a hammer.
Jimmy Kimmel Live!
Tonight we had the final of three debates between presidential candidates Barack Obama and John McCain. Instead of arguing, they disagreed to disagree.
Obviously, McCain has a lot riding on this . . . he doesn’t have much time left . . . 10 years if he’s lucky.
Sarah Palin had to have her campaign bus make an unscheduled stop at a Wal-Mart to pick up diapers. Turns out Sen. McCain didn’t need them, though . . .
Jay Leno
Fires in Los Angeles, again. People in Hollywood don’t know how to deal with fires. Especially celebrities. When celebrities see a burning bush, they rush toward it, because they think Barack Obama’s about to speak.
Tonight was the very last presidential debate . . . which means prayer does work.
Hillary Clinton said on Fox News that there is no chance of her ever running for president again . . . this year.
In an article in The Washington Post, medical experts say Joe Biden may have had Botox. You know how they could tell? His expression didn’t change when they asked him about his hair plugs.
David Letterman
Dick Cheney was admitted to a hospital earlier today for abnormal heart rhythm. But he’s doing fine. He’s already sitting up staring at nurses.
He’ll be out shooting hunting buddies in no time.
Barack Obama is going door to door for his campaign. It’s kind of a throwback. And I don’t know if he’s changed anybody’s votes, but today he came back home with a big bag of Halloween candy.
It was a little embarrassing when he rang the doorbell at two of McCain’s houses.
Conan O'Brien
Earlier this evening, the third presidential debate was held, and Hillary Clinton was sitting in the audience. In fact, when John McCain was attacking Barack Obama, you could hear Hillary yelling, ”Get’em!"
Yesterday in New York City, a woman gave birth to a baby at JFK airport. People at JFK were shocked because it was the first time in years they have seen an on-time arrival.
Josh Brolin, who plays President Bush in the new movie “W.,” says at first he wasn’t sure he should take the role, because it would be such an acting challenge. Brolin says he prepared for the role by getting up every day, running five miles, and then bashing himself in the head with a hammer.
Jimmy Kimmel Live!
Tonight we had the final of three debates between presidential candidates Barack Obama and John McCain. Instead of arguing, they disagreed to disagree.
Obviously, McCain has a lot riding on this . . . he doesn’t have much time left . . . 10 years if he’s lucky.
Sarah Palin had to have her campaign bus make an unscheduled stop at a Wal-Mart to pick up diapers. Turns out Sen. McCain didn’t need them, though . . .
