Wednesday, October 22, 2008
Late Nite Jokes
Craig Ferguson
India sent their first rocket to the moon. This is a perfect example of good American jobs being outsourced to India.
John Kerry is being criticized for making a joke about John McCain wearing adult diapers. Knock it off, Kerry. I tell the McCain diaper jokes! Stick to losing elections to the least-popular president ever in the history of America.
They say the race is going to be decided by the undecided voters — 7 percent are undecided. I have a question for them: What the hell is wrong with you? This election has been going on for years.
Jimmy Kimmel Live!
With only two weeks to go, Barack Obama has a strong lead, according to pretty much all polls. He’s taking a day or two off to visit his sick grandmother in Hawaii. Normally that would be a bad idea two weeks before the election, but at this point, the only thing that could stop his campaign is if he found a bad luck tiki doll at the beach.
Some believe that visiting his sick grandmother might help with the elderly vote. To try to counter that, today, John McCain stopped by our nation’s capital to visit his grandmother — Susan B. Anthony.
Sarah Palin had a good thought: She suggested that while Barack Obama is in Hawaii, it might be a good idea for McCain to keep an eye on Japan.
Joe Biden is turning out to be quite a character. He says whatever is floating around in his head. On Sunday, at a rally, a local baseball team gave him his own uniform, No. 21. He said, “No. 21 reminds me of the most famous number in all of college sports — No. 44.” How does 21 remind him of 44? In that they’re both numbers?
Craig Ferguson
India sent their first rocket to the moon. This is a perfect example of good American jobs being outsourced to India.
John Kerry is being criticized for making a joke about John McCain wearing adult diapers. Knock it off, Kerry. I tell the McCain diaper jokes! Stick to losing elections to the least-popular president ever in the history of America.
They say the race is going to be decided by the undecided voters — 7 percent are undecided. I have a question for them: What the hell is wrong with you? This election has been going on for years.
Jimmy Kimmel Live!
With only two weeks to go, Barack Obama has a strong lead, according to pretty much all polls. He’s taking a day or two off to visit his sick grandmother in Hawaii. Normally that would be a bad idea two weeks before the election, but at this point, the only thing that could stop his campaign is if he found a bad luck tiki doll at the beach.
Some believe that visiting his sick grandmother might help with the elderly vote. To try to counter that, today, John McCain stopped by our nation’s capital to visit his grandmother — Susan B. Anthony.
Sarah Palin had a good thought: She suggested that while Barack Obama is in Hawaii, it might be a good idea for McCain to keep an eye on Japan.
Joe Biden is turning out to be quite a character. He says whatever is floating around in his head. On Sunday, at a rally, a local baseball team gave him his own uniform, No. 21. He said, “No. 21 reminds me of the most famous number in all of college sports — No. 44.” How does 21 remind him of 44? In that they’re both numbers?
