Thursday, October 23, 2008
Late Nite Jokes
Craig Ferguson
The Pentagon is buying a portrait of Donald Rumsfeld for $46,000 — $46,000! It’ll probably cost 10 times that, serve no real purpose, and never be finished. Remind you of anything?
John McCain got support from someone he might not want support from. Al-Qaida picked him as their choice for president. Al-Qaida announced it on their Web site. Which begs the question, al-Qaida has a Web site?
Can’t we use this to find them? Can’t we send them an e-mail and say, We have a couple of old “Macarena” albums . . . send us your address, and we’ll send them to you.
Obama is so far ahead, the only way he can lose is if his supporters screw it up. But Obama supporters have a secret weakness — they’re Democrats. They are perfectly capable of screwing this up.
Jimmy Kimmel Live!
Sarah Palin is taking heat today, because the Republican National Committee has so far spent $150,000 on wardrobe for her and her family, representing small-town, common-folk hockey moms everywhere.
That’s a lot of money, especially since she’s shooting all those animals. Isn’t she making pelts out of all of them for clothes?
She told a bunch of third graders yesterday that the vice president runs the Senate . . . which of course, the vice president does not do. Even President Bush will tell you the vice president doesn’t run the Senate. The vice president runs the White House.
Craig Ferguson
The Pentagon is buying a portrait of Donald Rumsfeld for $46,000 — $46,000! It’ll probably cost 10 times that, serve no real purpose, and never be finished. Remind you of anything?
John McCain got support from someone he might not want support from. Al-Qaida picked him as their choice for president. Al-Qaida announced it on their Web site. Which begs the question, al-Qaida has a Web site?
Can’t we use this to find them? Can’t we send them an e-mail and say, We have a couple of old “Macarena” albums . . . send us your address, and we’ll send them to you.
Obama is so far ahead, the only way he can lose is if his supporters screw it up. But Obama supporters have a secret weakness — they’re Democrats. They are perfectly capable of screwing this up.
Jimmy Kimmel Live!
Sarah Palin is taking heat today, because the Republican National Committee has so far spent $150,000 on wardrobe for her and her family, representing small-town, common-folk hockey moms everywhere.
That’s a lot of money, especially since she’s shooting all those animals. Isn’t she making pelts out of all of them for clothes?
She told a bunch of third graders yesterday that the vice president runs the Senate . . . which of course, the vice president does not do. Even President Bush will tell you the vice president doesn’t run the Senate. The vice president runs the White House.
