CBlountBlogs

Late-Night Jokes

Leno

Gas prices have risen again. Prices are so bad here in L.A. that guys in Beverly Hills are hiring hookers to siphon gas out of other people’s cars.

Last night the American Film Institute aired a program on the most memorable movie lines. "Show me the money” was one of them. Do you remember who said that? Jennifer Wilbanks…the "Runaway Bride”.

How many of you are sick of that story? How many want her to be the "Go Away Bride”?

Conan

The new "Star-Wars” movie is out. It’s setting box office records everywhere. This is true…”Star-Wars” fans became rowdy in Seattle when a projector broke in the middle of the movie. However, the projector was quickly fixed because there was over 1,000 members of the A/V Club in the theater.

America West Airlines and Virgin Airlines have announced a merger. This merger will create one giant sucky airline.

Lib Bloggers: Katrina Bush's Fault

A handful of liberal bloggers have wasted no time politicizing the Hurricane Katrina disaster, alleging that the Iraq war has stripped New Orleans of National Guard protection and blasting President Bush for not dealing with global warming.

"So far today, I've looked at Global Warming and Katrina and the crisis resulting from Louisiana's National Guard being in Iraq instead of defending their state," complains the "Swing State" blog.

"Will Bush stay on vacation? At this point, it doesn't really matter. Because Bush has been asleep at the wheel for four years."

Over at the "American Blog," they've started a "Hurricaine Bush Vacation Watch," which is "keeping a tab on whether Bush is going to return to Washington to deal with this historically devastating hurricane, or whether he's going to stay on vacation while a major American city faces imminent disaster."

"Can't you just see Bush staying on vacation while all this happens THEN touring the damage like he's some kind of concerned hero?" the American Blogger griped.

Late-Night Jokes

Letterman

Right now Karl Rove is trying to improve his image. Just today he was on Oprah’s show jumping up and down on her couch.

Have you picked up a copy of the new Harry Potter book? It’s a big success. In this one Harry is now 17. It’s full of adventure and he finds his wand.

The new book is big though. You can actually use it to stand on to find a better book.

"Willy Wonka” is now out. It’s about a creepy guy that wears makeup and entices kids with candy. There is a happy ending though – he’s acquitted.

Saddam Hussein is about to go to trial. We can’t figure out what to do with him. The U.S. doesn’t know if we should put him in prison or just put him back in charge of the place.

Late-Night Jokes

Leno

The big story here locally is that the space shuttle discovery left California today. It’s been here since it landed a week ago. They say it will cost one million dollars to transport the shuttle back to Florida. A million dollars! So, apparently they are driving it back!

Actually they flew the shuttle on the back of a 747, show that… (Drop-in video screen: space shuttle on top of plane) Today President Bush objected, he said it looked way too gay.

Today Exxon announced they’re not going to lower the price of gas but to lessen the pain, they are now going to put some Vaseline on the nozzles.

Russia announced that due to a lack of animal feed they’re feeding their cows confiscated marijuana. They have over 20 tons of it and they are feeding it to the cows. Do you think that’s a good idea? Giving their cows marijuana. It’s only been a week and already some cows have moved up to crack. In fact, three of them knocked off a seven eleven in Leningrad.

We want to wish President Clinton happy birthday. He is 59 years old. Hillary gave him a surprise birthday party. Well, actually, Bill was having a party, then Hillary walked in and said, "Surprise!”

Clinton’s at that awkward age. Too young to retire, too old to remember he’s married.

The Little League Baseball World Series began today in Williamsport, Pennsylvania. The first team eliminated…the Kansas City Royals.

They have lost eighteen games in a row. They are closing in on the all time record of 21…eighteen games they have lost. Kansas City has the only stadium where the good seats are the ones where you don’t face the field.

Anybody see "Big Brother” last night? Someone else was thrown out of the house. You know who kicked them out of the house? Israeli soldiers.

Tough times in Israel. The settlers didn’t want to leave because they feel that the land was given to them by God. It’s the same way that Republicans feel about the White House

Missing Able Danger 'Atta' Chart in 2002 Video

A copy of the Able Danger chart that identified lead 9/11 hijacker Mohamed Atta as a terrorist operating inside the U.S. a year before the 9/11 attacks is clearly visible in a video of a 2002 speech by delivered by Rep. Curt Weldon to the Heritage Foundation.

The Pentagon, the 9/11 Commission and the Senate Intelligence Committee are currently seeking evidence that the bombshell chart, featuring a photo Atta, ever existed - as claimed by three members of the Able Danger team, along with Rep. Weldon. But so far, no physical evidence of the controversial document has surfaced.

Until now.
A third of the way through his May 23, 2002 address on data fusion techniques, the video shows Rep. Weldon unfurling a copy of the now missing document and displaying it to the Heritage audience.

"This is the unclassified chart that was done by the Special Forces Command briefing center one year before 9/11," he explains. "It is the complete architecture of al Qaeda and pan-Islamic extremism. It gives all the linkages. It gives all the capabilities. . . ."

Though Weldon never mentions Able Danger or Atta by name - and the video never zooms in on the chart to the point where Atta's photo is identifiable - it's clear from Weldon comments that the chart is the same one currently being sought.

Since the Able Danger story broke three weeks ago, the Pennsylvania Republican has repeatedly insisted that he gave a copy of the chart shortly after the 9/11 attacks to then-Deputy National Security Advisor Stephen Hadley.

In the 2002 speech, Weldon told the same story in greater detail, standing beside a copy of what he said he gave Hadley.

"I went to the White House. I don't mean to embarrass this guy cause he's a good friend of mine. But I took a mini version of this chart in Nov. [2001] and I turned it over to him - Steve Hadley, who works directly for [then-National Security Advisor] Condi Rice."

Weldon said Hadley was stunned after viewing the Al Qaeda-Atta document.

"This is unbelievable - where'd you get this?" he wanted to know.

After being told that the chart was prepared by military intelligence a year before the 9/11 attacks, Hadley said, according to Weldon, "I've got to show this to the man" - apparently referring to President Bush.

In the same speech, Rep. Weldon also revealed that then-Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, Gen. Hugh Shelton received a briefing on the Able Danger chart in the closing weeks of the Clinton administration.

To view Rep. Weldon's entire 2002 speech to the Heritage Foundation, go to: http://www.heritage.org/Press/Events/2002archive.cfm He displays the al Qaeda-Atta chart approximately 34 minutes into the presentation.

Sharpton to Join Cindy Sheehan in Texas

The Rev. Al Sharpton plans to join peace activist Cindy Sheehan, known as the Peace Mom, on Sunday near President Bush's Texas ranch.

Sharpton's office said Thursday he would participate in a prayer vigil Sunday with Sheehan in Crawford, Texas. Sheehan returned on Wednesday to Camp Casey, named after her 24-year-old son, Army Spc. Casey Sheehan, who was killed last year in Iraq.

Sheehan began her vigil on the road leading to Bush's ranch Aug. 6, vowing to stay through his monthlong vacation unless he met with her. She left last week to visit her 74-year-old mother, who had suffered a stroke, in Los Angeles.
Sheehan's protest in Crawford has encouraged anti-war activists to join her and prompted peace vigils nationwide. But Sheehan continues to draw harsh criticism from those who support the U.S. effort in Iraq.

Sheehan plans to leave Crawford at the end of August and embark on a bus tour ending in Washington, D.C., on Sept. 24.

Jeanine Pirro Blasts Hillary's 9/11 Record

Westchester County District Attorney Jeanine Pirro blasted Senator Hillary Clinton on Wednesday for failing to obtain enough homeland security funding for New York State, saying Clinton's performance on 9/11 issues would be a key target of her campaign.

"I walked Ground Zero the day after 9/11 with a friend who was looking for her husband," Pirro told ABC Radio host Sean Hannity.

"I know what can happen in New York and all of the trauma that comes from the problem with homeland security and the fact that we don't have enough money to defend ourselves the way New Yorkers need to."
Pirro vowed in the next breath: "Make no mistake, I will attack [Hillary's] record. Her record is going to be a target of my campaign."

Pirro also zeroed in on Mrs. Clinton's economic policies, saying:

"Here's a woman who came to New York and she said, 'I'm going to promise 200,000 upstate jobs for upstate New Yorkers.' She didn't deliver on that promise - and we're going to hold her to that."

"You've got a woman here who wants to tax New Yorkers," Pirro added. "She thinks that taxes are good for New York."

Though the press has portrayed Clinton as a Senate workhorse, Pirro said her record of real accomplishments is thin. "You don't submit seven bills and say, 'OK, I did my job' - even though they all died in committee," the Westchester Republican fumed.

While Mrs. Clinton's failures on homeland security and job creation would be fair game, Pirro vowed not to practice the politics of personal destruction, saying, "This is not going to be about personal attacks, because this job is too important."

Getting to the bottom of Able Danger

Did a small intelligence group within the Defense Department identify hijacker Mohammed Atta as a member of a terrorist cell operating in the U.S. almost two years before he and 18 other terrorists killed 3,000 Americans? And if so, why didn't this explosive information make it into the 9/11 Commission report, which was supposed to be the definitive analysis on the worst terrorist incident in American history?

Depending on whom you talk to, this story is either proof that the Clinton administration was asleep at the switch while terrorists were planning their attacks during their tenure, or it's a case of false memory syndrome. The Defense Department seems to be leaning toward the latter explanation, reading between the lines of official statements.

The controversy began earlier this summer when Rep. Curt Weldon, R-Pa., vice chairman of the House Armed Services Committee, first made public the allegations that a small unit within DoD, aptly named "Able Danger," had identified Atta as a potential threat in early 2000 and tried to pass the information on to the FBI but were prevented from doing so.

Weldon said he relied on information provided by people familiar with Able Danger, including some who had seen a flowchart representing suspected Al Qaeda cell members in the U.S. that included a picture of Mohammed Atta. To make matters worse, Weldon's informants said that they had briefed the 9/11 Commission staff about Able Danger's findings prior to the release of the commission's report.

Two men have come forward to say they were involved with Able Danger, an Army reserve officer, Lt. Col. Anthony Shaffer, and Navy Captain Scott J. Phillpott. Both men confirm that the intelligence operation identified Atta in early 2000. A third man, a contractor who worked on the project, has also said that he actually possessed a copy of the chart described by Rep. Weldon and others until last year, when he moved and could not remove it because it had become stuck to the wall in his office at Andrews Air Force Base in suburban Maryland.

Stung by the assertion that the 9/11 Commission had ignored important information, the now-defunct group's chairman, former Gov. Tom Kean, called for a Pentagon investigation into what Able Danger uncovered about Atta and others involved in the attacks of September 11, 2001.

We may never know exactly what Able Danger discovered in early 2000, but we do know that there is plenty of blame to go around in missed opportunities to prevent the horrible attack on this country. Let's hope that in the future we spend less time pointing fingers and more time ensuring it never happens again.

Dear Iraq: We're Sorry For the Media

The time has come to offer our heartfelt apologies to the people of Iraq. Oh, don't get me wrong. Only the far-Left fringe would even consider apologizing for removing a brutal tyrant like Saddam Hussein from power.

One would have to be mad to apologize for freeing 25 million people from over three decades of injustice, preventing Saddam from filling more mass graves and ending forever his predilection for genocide. Who regrets giving Iraqis the opportunity to hold free and fair elections for the first time ever -- making the oldest civilization the youngest democracy?

How could any American want to apologize for exposing and halting the massive corruption in the United Nation's Oil-for-Food program, which funneled billions of dollars into Saddam's pockets while doing nothing for his people? Or for the way France, Russia and China sold Saddam their influence with the UN Security Council in exchange for oil exploration rights, to be exercised as soon as the sanctions -- which only hurt the Iraqi people, while keeping Saddam in power -- were removed? No, there's only one thing that America needs to apologize to Iraq for: inflicting our Liberal agenda-driven media on them.

In order to tell us how badly everything is going in Iraq, the mainstream media must consistently ignore good news unless there's a down side upon which they can dwell. For instance, Americans have to check with the BBC to find information on the reflooding of the Iraqi marshlands. Saddam drained them to punish the inhabitants by destroying their land and culture, in what UN Environment Program Executive Director Klaus Toepfer called "a major ecological and human disaster."

Don't waste your time trying to find an environmentalist giving Bush credit for their restoration. Civic and economic restoration are also largely ignored. The American media was quick to discuss Fallujah while Americans were taking casualties there, but have been as silent as the proverbial grave since the main fighting stopped and the city has undergone what can only be termed a renaissance.

The media is intent on portraying American soldiers as either victims or brutes, ignoring all the good they have done and still do. The only time we hear about heroes like Casey Sheehan, for example, is when his own mother refers to him as though he were a foolish child, praises his killers as "freedom fighters" and uses his death to demand that America abandon Iraq to the mercy of its totalitarian and theocratic neighbors.

The old cliche, "if it bleeds, it leads," has been almost completely replaced with, "if it hurts Bush, it leads." And Iraq is unfortunately caught in the crossfire, as the media tries desperately to discredit and undermine support for President Bush and the military.

Clinton, Gore Tried to Fund Air America

Ex-president Clinton and former vice president Al Gore personally tried to raise start-up funds for the troubled Air America Radio network, the network's founder said Sunday.

Asked about the help Clinton and Gore provided, Chicago venture capitalist Sheldon Drobny told C-Span's "Sunday Morning Journal": "They helped us."

"How they helped us was to make introductions to a lot of good people," Drobny said. "Especially Al Gore, who introduced me to Al Franken. . . . He was my dream franchise player when we first conceived of the [radio] idea. And Vice President Gore was very helpful in making the introductions."

Ultimately, fundraising efforts by former White House duo went bust, Drobny said, insisting, "They didn't bring any major funding to the table."

Drobny chalked-up the Clinton-Gore failure to the trouble he had convincing investors that there was a market for liberal talk radio. "I mean, we really had to work hard to make believers out of even liberals," he claimed.

Asked about the financial scandal currently plaguing the network - New York City's Department of Investigation is probing a suspicious loan to Air America by a local Boys & Girls Club - Drobny said he couldn't discuss the matter.

"That particular transaction occurred with the previous ownership," he told C-Span. "And I cannot legally talk about it although I'd love to. But that was not our loan, it was a loan to the previous owners."

Late-Night Jokes

Leno

How many have seen this movie "March of The Penguins”? It’s doing huge business. You know why they’re marching? They can’t afford the gas.

President Bush has indicated that the President of Iran will receive a visa to come to the United States. I’m as shocked as you. You still need a visa to come to the U.S.? I thought they did away with that stuff years ago.

As you know, President Bush is taking 5 weeks off. It’s like he’s still in the National Guard.

California education officials said today that the state of California needs 52,000 more teachers. They say we are facing a huge teacher shortage. In fact, by the year 2007, they said many students will be forced to have sex with each other.

Yesterday the Kansas City Royals lost their 13th game in a row. Thirteen in a row. So apparently, President Bush isn’t the only one taking the entire month of August off.

That 79-year-old priest from St. Patrick's Cathedral in New York City has resigned after allegations that he had an affair. He said he was stepping down to spend more time with his girlfriend.

According to "The New York Post”, runaway bride Jennifer Wilbanks was supposed to get married today, it never happened. Ironically she showed up at the church and everybody else left town.

Today is the 24th anniversary of the IBM personal computer. Experts say it revolutionized work and made people more productive at the office. Except for the six hours a day they’re emailing friends looking at porn and playing solitaire.

Jamie Gorelick in Pentagon Controversy

Sept. 11 Commission member Jamie Gorelick, who critics say hobbled the war on terrorism when she served as deputy attorney general under President Clinton, was a leading proponent for one of the Clinton administration's most controversial proposals when she served as general counsel for the Pentagon in 1993 and 1994.

In that position, Gorelick took the lead in implementing the White House's hotly contested "gays in the military" plan, which drew howls of protest from the military's rank and file - and even had then-Secretary of Defense Les Aspin openly worrying that Pentagon brass would "derail" the Clinton plan.

This places an incredible burden on commanders in the field," Sen. John McCain complained at the time. Then-Joint Chiefs Chairman Colin Powell nearly quit over the plan.

In an extraordinary Dec. 22, 1993 press conference, Secretary Aspin attempted to explain a compromise plan, dubbed "don't ask, don't pursue," that had been hammered out with the White House. But after a few introductory remarks, Ms. Gorelick took over.

"The [Armed] services will implement these guidelines, these directives, in 45 days," Gorelick declared. "Investigations of sexual misconduct will be undertaken in an even-handed manner without regard to whether the service member is heterosexual or homosexual."

After spending several minutes outlining the new gays in the military directive, Gorelick took questions from the press, prompting several provocative exchanges. Here's one:

REPORTER: [What about] personnel security. A gay Marine goes into a position and he has to have a security clearance. Now, on the form he can't put, "I am a homosexual," right?

MS. GORELICK: He will not be asked.

REPORTER: Okay. In the course of the investigation they find out he is a homosexual.

MS. GORELICK: Yes?

REPORTER: None of that can be used against him?

MS. GORELICK: Not for separation or criminal justice proceedings . . . But his sexual orientation itself, sexual activity in and of itself does not disqualify him from receiving a personnel security clearance. [END OF EXCERPT]

Pictures Of The Day

More great pictures from You. The new website "Pictures Of The Day", will give us a place to share your pictures with others.

Hillary

Whose Kids Are In Iraq? The Ones Who Make The Country Work

RUSH: John in San Diego, you're next. Welcome to the program. Nice to have you with us.

CALLER: I believe that Cindy Sheehan is bringing up one important point, though.

RUSH: What's that?

CALLER: If this is a valiant and noble cause, why don't we have [sic] any senators sons or House of Representatives sons volunteering to go over there? Why isn't the president's daughters doing something for the war effort, if this is such a valiant effort? And that's the primary purpose that she has made this protest for, is the fact that the average person is being used as cannon fodder basically for this effort, and it's not a noble cause.

RUSH: John, you disappoint me, but you don't surprise me. No war is noble as far as you all are concerned. The US is guilty. This argument is tiresome, boring, and specious. Why didn't the president's daughters go? It's a volunteer force! The president didn't "send" Cindy Sheehan's son over there; he volunteered. If she is doing anything, she is sullying his memory. She is making his life worthless. She is making what he volunteered to do worthless, and you guys, you don't see this. There are sons, there are family members of elected officials in Washington who have been and are in Iraq. It's not a great number, but they are there. But it's not a draft, and the president can't choose who goes. It's a volunteer army and everything that you said is doing a disservice to those who have volunteered to represent this country and serve this country and their families, and if I were you, I would be ashamed and try to grow up and get a little maturity.

RUSH: My friends, there's another reason why the Sheehan thing is going to derail, why this train is going to derail, and that's because look at who her public relations outfit is. It's the mainstream press. They don't have universal respect anymore. They don't even have any concept of how they are harming her cause by championing it, but I want to talk about something larger here with you liberals. I know there are a lot of you here in the audience. We hear from you now and then, and it may be a waste of my time but I'm going to try it anyway. But I think you all need to look at things differently than you do. You need to take your focus off of government. You know how absurd it is for us to hear that a war is ignoble because the president's kids aren't there or because congressmen's kids aren't there? Do you know how irrelevant that is? Do you know who makes this country work? Can I ask you people on the left if you have the slightest idea who makes this country work? Because I'll tell you, it's not the president, I don't care who he is, and it's not Congress, and I don't care who they are. The people who make this country work are the people, and they're people you've never heard of. They are people unlike Cindy Sheehan, who are not seeking publicity, they are not seeking fame. They take life seriously. They try to mix their work and pleasure into a proper balance. They try to raise their kids the right way. They're doing everything they can to follow the straight-and-narrow. They sometimes slip off, but the people who make this country work, the fabled average American. That's who you liberals condemn, whether you know it or not. That's who you impugn. It's always been the case.

World War II was not won by Eisenhower. World War II was not won by FDR. World War II was not won by any particular leader. World War II was not won by Patton. Everybody played a role. But without the sons and daughters of the American people, this country wouldn't amount to anything. It is the people who make this country work, and the ease with which those of you on the left disparage the people in this country while you seek to focus all attention on government, is a sight to behold, and it is why you are losing elections; it is why you are losing favor; it is why you are becoming more fringe and extreme and kooky, because you've lost touch. You've lost contact. You've lost all ability to understand who it is that comprises the heart and soul of this country. You have no clue who the backbone of this country is; but I will tell you this: it's not Cindy Sheehan and it's not one member of her entourage in a ditch in Crawford, Texas. Those people are a bunch of squatters. Those people right now are contributing nothing to the greatness or future of this country. Neither are the members of the media who are down there trying to elevate all those people in the ditch to be superheroes. There's not one of them that comes anywhere near rating the title of hero. They are nothing but a bunch of squatters who are miserable and unhappy for who knows whatever reasons and deciding to take it out on people who they think have control over their lives. In this case, with a bunch of liberals, it's government. You want government to have control over your life, you want government to be able to do this and that for your friends and neighbors and help you, but the simple truth of this country is that it's the people who make this country work. It is the people who comprise the economy.

It is the people who comprise the morality. It is the people of this country who determine the ethics. It is the people of this country, and that's what you're upset about because you're in the minority. The people of this country, the people who make this country work differ from you in tremendous ways. They are religious. They are God-fearing. They respect values and morality. They know what's right and they know what's wrong, and they do their best to abide. You are offended by all that, claiming they don't have the right to make such decisions, while you sit around and make no decisions whatsoever because you're willing to totally put your life in the hands of some liberal politician and that will take you off the hook for having to make any decision about your life or anybody else's. Well, that's not how the country works. This country works on the basis of an educated and informed public seeking excellence in their own lives to whatever degree they wish it. People pursuing life the best they can, using freedom, God-given freedom -- and for you to call here and to come up with something as irrelevant as to say this war is not worth it because the president's kids aren't there or because nobody from Washington's kids are there doesn't say a thing about the war effort, doesn't say one thing about it, doesn't make it noble, doesn't make it ignoble, doesn't make it anything, because the war is taking place. Whether you agree with the fact that it's going on or not, we all have come to the decision that it's best that we win it. You haven't even joined us on that. You hope we lose it. You want to lose it because you want to embarrass the leaders of the country. What must your lives be like?

Are your lives so endless, baseless, and void of substance that the only pleasure you get from life is through watching the misery of others and trying to cause misery for others? Are you so incapable of enjoying the God-given gift of life that you've got, that you can only do so when other people are suffering, hopefully as a result of actions you've taken? What must it be like to be you people? What must it be like to get up every day and to have to go to your calendar and write "Destroy somebody today. Destroy something today. Destroy America today"? What must that be like? When you look out across the country and you see a burgeoning economy, you see the lone world superpower -- and it's not because of any president, and it's not because of any weapon, and it's not because of any military, it's because of the people of this country and our values and our Constitution. We're no different than any other people, other than we have freedom -- and you don't even like that! You only want freedom for yourselves, defined as you define it. So people can't say things that offend you, they can't do things that offend you, we can't have stupid names for sports teams. The absurdity of this whole political correctness movement. We can't have some team called the Redskins, we can't have some team called the Seminoles. Don't you understand these team names do it, it's an honor? Do you think a school calls itself the Seminoles to make fun of the Seminoles or are they trying to build themselves up? It's a matter of pride. But you people are so miserably unhappy that you have to find ways to constantly make everybody else around you unhappy, and so you go hang around with a woman who's crazed out of her mind in a ditch in Crawford, Texas, and then you have the audacity to call here and tell us that you are the great ones, that you're the ones that care, that you're the ones that have this country's best interests at heart.

If it were up to you people we wouldn't exist as a country today, you would have given in to the Soviets long ago, you would have appeased the Soviet communists. You would appease Iran right now, you probably wouldn't have cared about the war on terror or the bombing on 9/11. You would have sought out bin Laden and tried to make a deal with him, and this country exists today only because we have been able to prevent you from gaining power to do that kind of thing. We've had our run-ins with Neville Chamberlain types and you're the modern incarnation. To sit here, to actually have the gall to call this program and advance something you think as an intellectual argument that Cindy Sheehan's cause is noble, because the president's daughters aren't in Iraq, or congressmen's sons and daughters aren't in Iraq, have you no shame? Do you realize whose sons and daughters are? Do you understand it's voluntary? Do you understand these are people who are offering their lives in sacrifice for things they believe in? And what do you do? You come along and you try to disabuse them of their belief by telling them that they're wrong and that their country sucks. Well, to the extent that they think their country sucks it's because of you and your efforts to constantly undermine this country's best interests and our desires and efforts to protect the people of this country and to bring freedom to as many others in this world as possible. You people on the left used to be the ones that were all for civil rights around the world. You were all for human rights. Now all of a sudden you couldn't care less about the status of Iraqis. You couldn't care less. It's gotten so absurd, now that Howard Dean said on TV that if this new constitution is enacted as written, that the women of Iraq are going to be worse off than they were under Saddam Hussein.

Do you realize how patently absurd and bordering on insane that comment is? No, you don't. Because you think so little of your own country, you think so little of this president, you have such little faith in the ideals that have combined to make this a great country, that you assume it's worse here than anywhere else, and the places that it is bad is because of us, either through environmental pollution, or whatever cockamamie, asinine, stupid, ignoramus idea you can come up with. It's gotten to the point now where it is common to go on Democrat websites and read about the pleasure it would bring if the president were assassinated. It is now common to read letters to the editors in newspapers which say it would be fun if bin Laden actually came over here and slit Bush's throat, which is what a supporter of Sheehan wrote to a letter of the editor in one of the newspapers in this country. Yes, it would have been better if bin Laden would have just come here and slit Bush's throat. Do you have any idea how you people are perceived? Do you have the slightest idea how the decent people who make this country work perceive you? It is not with any respect. It is with contempt and it's with sorrow. But it's also with this realization: This country, if it is to survive, cannot be turned over to you people to lead and to run, because we will cease to exist as the United States the day that happens, and mark my word. It ain't going to happen.

Victims' Families Outraged, Want New 9/11 Panel

The families of 9/11 victims are outraged that military spies were blocked from sharing key intelligence they believe could have averted the terrorist attacks – and are calling for a new commission to investigate.

"I’m angry that my son's death could have been prevented," Diana Horning, whose son was killed at the World Trade Center, told the New York Post.

"It outrages me because it's taken four years to come out."

Horning and other family members of 9/11 victims are up in arms over the disclosure that the elite military intelligence unit "Able Danger" had identified Mohamed Atta and three other Sept. 11 hijackers more than a year before the attacks, but military lawyers stopped the unit from sharing that information with the FBI.

"I don't think you can understate the significance here," Mindy Kleinberg, a member of the Sept. 11 Advocates, a coalition of family members, told the Post.

"You're talking about the four lead hijackers. If we shared information and did surveillance on them, there is no telling what we could have uncovered and what we could have thwarted.

"I think we do need a new commission, and that's really sad."

Rep. Curt Weldon, R-Pa., vice chairman of the House Armed Services and Homeland Security committees, has said the Sept. 11 Commission did not adequately investigate the report that four of the hijackers had been identified.

And Bill Doyle, whose son was killed on 9/11, ripped Jamie Gorelick, President Clinton's deputy attorney general, who codified the separation between intelligence and investigative agencies in a 1995 memo – then was chosen to serve on the Sept. 11 Commission investigating the attacks.

"What is disheartening," said Doyle, "is from the beginning, we said Jamie Gorelick had a conflict of interest."

Bush Admin. Briefed on Able Danger After Attacks

Two weeks after the 9/11 the attacks, the Bush administration was told that a special military intelligence unit code named Able Danger had developed actionable intelligence two years earlier that could have foiled the 9/11 plot, a member of the Able Danger team revealed on Wednesday.

Among the Able Danger evidence shared with the Bush National Security Council: a chart put together before 9/11 featuring a picture of lead hijacker Mohamed Atta.

Asked why he didn't go public before this week with the news that his group had been tracking Atta during the Clinton administration, Able Danger team member Lt. Col. Anthony Shaffer told ABC radio host Sean Hannity:

"Within two weeks of the attack, this colleague of mine ... she took that very poster [with Mohamed Atta] to Congressman [Curt] Weldon," Shaffer said. "And I have to say he took it right to Michael Hadley, I believe, over at the NSC."

"It's my understanding that he gave him that chart and Hadley had a great deal of interest in it," he added.

Once the Bush administration had been briefed, Shaffer said, he thought the information would be handled properly. "[I felt] that we were good to go - that everything was going to be solved," he told Hannity.

The military intelligence sleuth stressed, however, "I'm not criticizing the Bush administration here. They're doing everything in their power to prevent this now. I think they're fully behind what we're doing. I think the Pentagon right now is fully behind me trying to get the word out and trying to get to the bottom of this."

Shaffer credited his still unidentified Able Danger colleague with managing the technical side of the program.

"The doctor who put this all together is brilliant. I mean, I cannot speak high enough of her and her brilliance in being able to break the code on this. She was able, through the technology used, to somehow pull out of all this amorphous data usable, actionable information."

"And that's where things kind of got off track," Shaffer explained. "Because at the same time she pulled that out, we then were trying to look at how we could exploit that information. And that's where the lawyers got involved."

Shaffer said that immediately after the 9/11 attacks, this same colleague alerted him to the fact that the Able Danger team had developed intelligence on the hijack team, a detail he hadn't noticed.

"My colleague called me in and said, 'Look, we knew these guys.' And I was shocked. It was like, in the pit of my stomach there was just this sinking feeling, like - we knew. We knew this!"

Congressman Weldon has previously described three attempts by Able Danger to brief the FBI on the Atta intelligence, before being blocked by lawyers at the Clinton Pentagon.

Those lawyers have yet to be identified.

Able Danger Whistleblower Blasts 9/11 Probers

An Army intelligence officer said Wednesday he told staff members from the Sept. 11 commission that a secret military unit had identified two of the three cells involved in the 2001 terrorist strikes more than a year before the attacks.

Lt. Col. Anthony Shaffer, who said he was associated with the "Able Danger" unit, said that during a 2003 meeting in Afghanistan, he mentioned that the unit had identified Sept. 11 ringleader Mohamed Atta along with three other hijackers as terrorist suspects.

Three months later, in January 2004, Shaffer said he was back in the United States and offered to follow up with the commission, but his offer was declined.

"I just walked away shocked that they would kind of change their mind, but I figured someone with equal or better knowledge ... probably came and talked to them, so they must've taken care of it," Shaffer said.

Shaffer said he was told the commission obtained only two briefcase-size loads of documents from at least 15-plus boxes of information on Able Danger.

Lt. Col. Chris Conway, a Pentagon spokesman, said Wednesday an investigation into Able Danger was under way.

The department "has been working to gain more clarity on this issue. Accordingly, we continue to interview a number of individuals associated with Able Danger," Conway said.

Conway said it was too soon to comment on findings related to the program.

Al Felzenberg, spokesman for the commission's follow-up project, said the commission is awaiting the results of the Pentagon's investigation.

A statement last Friday by former commission chairman Thomas Kean and vice chairman Lee Hamilton said the commission did not obtain enough information on the operation to consider it historically significant.

Shaffer said Able Danger identified Atta and three other Sept. 11 hijackers in 2000, but that military lawyers stopped the unit from sharing the information with the FBI out of concerns about the legality of gathering and sharing information on people in the U.S.

"The lawyers' view was to leave them alone, they had the same basic rights as a U.S. citizen, a U.S. person and therefore the data was kind of left alone," Shaffer said.

Shaffer said he and a Navy officer disagreed with that and tried to set up meetings with the FBI, but each time the idea was rejected by lawyers from the Special Operations command.

"There was a feeling ... if we give this information to the FBI and something goes wrong, we're going to get blamed for whatever goes wrong," Shaffer said.

The statement by Kean and Hamilton said only Atta was mentioned to them as being identified by Able Danger. They were told by a Navy officer about Atta 10 days before the commission released its report in July 2004, but the officer did not have documentation to back it up, the statement said.

The statement also said the Navy officer's dates related to the pre-Sept. 11 whereabouts of Atta did not fit with what they knew.

Shaffer said it did not surprise him the dates would be different.

Able Danger "wasn't about dates and locations. It was about associations and linkages. That's what the focus was," Shaffer said.

Shaffer said Able Danger identified the terrorists using data mining techniques. His relationship to Able Danger was first reported Tuesday night by The New York Times and Fox News Channel.

Shaffer's lawyer, Mark Zaid, said Wednesday that Shaffer does not have documentation related to Able Danger because his security clearance was suspended in March 2004 because of "petty and frivolous" reasons. They include a dispute over mileage reimbursement and a charges for personal calls on a work cell phone, Zaid said.

Shaffer, an Army reservist, has been on paid administrative leave for the past 16 months, Zaid said. He was an active Army major during his involvement with Able Danger, Zaid said.

Rep. Curt Weldon, R-Pa., vice chairman of the House Armed Services and Homeland Security committees, has said the Sept. 11 commission did not adequately investigate the claim that four of the hijackers had been identified more than a year before the attacks.

Able Danger Witnesses to Go Public

Rep. Curt Weldon said Monday that one or more members of an elite team of military intelligence officers who identified al-Qaida hijacker Mohamed Atta as a terrorist threat two years before he led the 9/11 attacks are prepared to go public.

"I can guarantee you that you will be able to have one on your show," Weldon told ABC Radio host Sean Hannity. "You might want to go with your TV show with this, because it will be a major story," the Pennsylvania Republican urged. "And you can interview him directly."

"When the American people see the credibility of this guy and what he's done for our country, along with the others, you become convinced that we have some major problems here," Weldon said.

He also addressed questions that arose over the weekend about whether the claims of the team, code-named Able Danger, amounted to "much ado about nothing."

"Like any patriotic American, if I'm confronted with career senior military intelligence officials who have information that they felt the 9/11 Commission should have looked at, because it directly impacted the events leading up to the attack against us, then I would want that to be taken seriously."

The House Armed Services Committee member also revealed that an FBI witness has confirmed attempts by the Able Danger team to share information about Atta.

"We even now have located the FBI liaison officer who they talked to about setting up the meetings [with the FBI]," he told Hannity. "That person acknowledged that there was a request made to formally bring the FBI in.

"But they couldn't do it because they were told no," he explained.

Weldon confirmed a report in Sunday's Bergen Record which revealed that the intelligence team had pinpointed Atta's whereabouts for an entire year before the attacks, while he lived at a Wayne, N.J., motel and met with other members of the hijack team.

The House Republican indicated he was aware that the Able Danger revelations could have severe political consequences, but he said that the full story was too important to keep from the American people. "If people get embarrassed along the way, I'm sorry for that," he said. "But we're talking about the deaths of 3,000 Americans here."

He remains concerned, however, that the Able Danger witnesses may be subject to retribution, explaining: "I've got to protect their careers and I've got to protect their reputations. ... Unfortunately, I've seen some brave Americans who've simply told the truth, who bureaucrats, for one reason or another, want to go after."

"I want to make sure – and get a commitment – that [the Able Danger whistleblowers] will not have their careers ruined," he said.

9/11 Panel Dismissed Key Evidence

The 9/11 Commission is challenging the credibility of claims by Rep. Curt Weldon that the panel ignored testimony from military intelligence officials that lead 9/11 hijacker Mohamed Atta and been identified as a terrorist threat at least a year before the 9/11 attacks.

But despite their protestations, it wouldn't be the first time the Commission looked the other way on damning evidence that didn't fit the program.

"None of the documents turned over to the commission [by the intelligence officers] mention Mohamed Atta or any of the other future hijackers," the Commission insisted in a statement released late Saturday.

"Nor do any of the staff notes on documents reviewed in the [Defense Department] reading room indicate that Mohamed Atta or any of the other future hijackers were mentioned in any of those documents."

The pointed denials had some critics backtracking on earlier assertions that the Commission had been caught with its pants down. "We may owe them a big apology," announced New York Post columnist John Podhoretz on National Review Online.

But before skeptics pull the plug on further inquiries over what the Commissioners knew about Mohamed Atta and when they knew it, it's worth remembering that the 9/11 Commission has turned its back at least once before on inconvenient evidence.

In March 2004, before many of the key witnesses had been interviewed, the Commission said it had examined claims that the government of Sudan had offered to turn over Osama bin Laden to the Clinton administration five years before the 9/11 attacks.

A staff statement released before the first televised hearing sounded like a conclusion had already been reached:

"Former Sudanese officials claim that Sudan offered to expel bin Laden to the United States. Clinton administration officials deny ever receiving such an offer. We have not found any reliable evidence to support the Sudanese claim."

The staff statement made no mention of a Feb. 2002 speech by President Clinton recorded exclusively by NewsMax.com, where he admitted receiving just such an offer.

"We'd been hearing that the Sudanese wanted America to start dealing with them again," he explained. "They released him.

"At the time, 1996, he had committed no crime against America so I did not bring him here because we had no basis on which to hold him, though we knew he wanted to commit crimes against America.

"So I pleaded with the Saudis to take him, 'cause they could have. But they thought it was a hot potato and they didn't and that's how he wound up in Afghanistan." [End of Excerpt]

In April 2004, Clinton testified before the Commission behind closed doors, where he was asked about his bombshell admission. According to 9/11 Commissioner Bob Kerrey in an interview the next day, the ex-president at first tried to claim he'd been misquoted.

"He told us yesterday that that was a misquote," Kerrey told WDAY radio host Scott Hennen.

Hennen shot back: "I have heard it in his own voice! I have heard him say it. I have the tape of him saying just that."

"Really?" a stunned Kerrey responded. "Well, ship it to me. Because he said yesterday that he didn't have a recollection of that."

Kerrey's response indicated that 9/11 staffers hadn't shared the Clinton audiotape with the commissioners themselves - even though NewsMax had made the audio available to the panel months before.

When the final 9/11 report was released in July, the Commission revealed specific details of how Sudanese officials corroborated Clinton's taped admission.

"Sudan’s minister of defense, Fatih Erwa, has claimed that Sudan offered to hand Bin Laden over to the United States," the report notes on page 109.

But even after hearing Erwa's testimony about the offer and Clinton's smoking gun audiotape, the 9/11 report declared flatly: "The Commission has found no credible evidence that this was so."

Instead, the panel accepted Clinton's revised testimony, where he told the Commissioners he had misspoken during his February speech - based on media reports about the bin Laden offer that he'd only recently realized were untrue.

On page 480 the Commission explained:

"President Clinton, in a February 2002 speech to the Long Island Association, said that the United States did not accept a Sudanese offer and take Bin Laden because there was no indictment . . . But the President told us that he had 'misspoken' and was, wrongly, recounting a number of press stories he had read."

Despite Mr. Clinton's obvious dissembling, the Commission simply dropped the matter.

So when the same intrepid investigators claim that witnesses who warned about Mohamed Atta simply aren't credible, it's worth remembering how high they set the bar the last time smoking gun evidence emerged that didn't fit the program.

Late-Night Jokes

Leno

Well President Bush signed a big $286 billion highway bill yesterday. The sad part, $285 billion of it is for gas money.

Another record was set this week – in fact, crude oil is so expensive now, a bucket of Kentucky Fried Chicken costs more than $300.

I went to fill up this morning and there was a sign on the pump, "We take Visa, Master Card, American Express”. So they took my Visa, Mastercard and my American Express!

The Rolling Stones are in the news. Apparently they have come out with anti-Bush song. A song blasting President Bush. Not over the war in Iraq - over social security. The stones are mad!

Do you know who’s birthday it was today? Hulk Hogan’s. He turned 52. Piece of trivia - do you know how you say Hulk Hogan in Spanish? Rafael Palmeiro.

"The New York Post” says that Jennifer Wilbanks, "the runaway bride” will be getting married tomorrow. Although she hasn’t told her husband where she will be honeymooning.

I believe Jennifer will be given away by her psychiatrist.

Late-Night Jokes

Leno

President Bush signed an energy bill in New Mexico this week. He had a clear message for all Americans. He said the economy is moving...it’s moving to China, Korea, Taiwan… but it’s moving. It’s on the go.

Today after President Bush signed the new transportation bill he said that it's not enough to just pass the law - he said now "people have to show up to do the work." Then he went back to his five-week vacation.

Democrats have been complaining that President Bush has spent more than 21% of his time in office out of the White House. That’s nothing. Since Bush has been president, the Democrats have been out of the White House 1oo% of the time.

Last night was Derek Lowe night at Dodger Stadium. Free admission to any husband that showed up with someone other than their wife.

Did you see this crazy guy who jumped from his seat in the upper deck at Yankee Stadium into a net. Luckily he landed in a net. Turns out it’s the same net that the Yankees use during the off season to catch pitchers off of Cuba

Police in New Castle, Pennsylvania have arrested a woman for prostitution after she charged two elderly men, one 71 years old, and the other one 84, money to have sex with her. Why is it every time Mick Jagger and Keith Richards go on the road they get in trouble?

In an interview on CNN, former President Bill Clinton said that he wants to tackle obesity in young people. Tackling obesity in young people? Isn’t that what got him in trouble in the first place?

Letterman

Did you all see the guy at Yankee Stadium that jumped from the upper deck into the net that catches the foul balls? He jumped like 50 feet. How can anyone get that drunk off $8 beers!

Conan

Yesterday Jennifer Wilbanks, the runaway bride had to cut the lawn of a city building as part of her community service. However, she was using a riding mower and was in Arizona by the evening.

Pirro Leads Clinton in Online Poll

Westchester County District Attorney Jeanine Pirro was leading Sen. Hillary Clinton in an online poll Thursday night conducted by the most listened-to radio station in New York, 1010 WINS.

With over 3,000 New Yorkers responding, Pirro led Clinton by six-tenths of a point, 50.30 percent to 49.70 percent.

Though the WINS survey is unscientific, it continues a trend that began this week after Pirro announced she intended to challenge Mrs. Clinton.

A Marist College poll released on Wednesday showed Clinton defeating Pirro, 50 percent to 28 percent. But while Pirro's number hadn't budged from an earlier survey in April, Clinton's support plummeted by 14 points.

Pictures Of The Day

More great pictures from You. The new website "Pictures Of The Day", will give us a place to share your pictures with others.

Carter In The Box

Clinton White House in 9/11 Breakdown

Rep. Curt Weldon, R-Penn., is vowing to find out who in the Clinton administration ordered a group of military intelligence officers not to tell the FBI about critical information on two 9/11 hijackers that was obtained two years before they destroyed the World Trade Center.

"What bothers me is two things," Weldon told WABC Radio's Mark Levin late Wednesday. "I'm told that that they couldn't share this information with the FBI? How far up the chain [of command] did it go? Did it go to the White House? And if so, who ordered it?"

Asked about reports that restrictions on intelligence sharing implemented by Clinton Deputy Attorney General Jamie Gorelick played a role in the disastrous intelligence breakdown, Weldon said: "I think that needs to be investigated."

"There was no reason not to share this information with the FBI," he complained, "except that the firewalls that existed back then were so severe that they wouldn't let these agencies talk to one another."

In a round of interviews Tuesday and Wednesday, Weldon detailed the information obtained by an elite Defense Intelligence group named Able Danger, which had identified lead 9/11 hijacker Mohammed Atta and his partner, Marwan al-Shehhi as al Qaida terrorists who were operating inside the U.S.

On Sept. 11, 2001, Atta hijacked American Airlines Flight 11 and flew it into World Trade Center Tower One, while al-Shehhi commandeered United Airlines flight 175 and destroyed Tower Two. The twin attacks killed over 2,700 Americans.

Rep. Weldon said that the Able Danger team urged that the FBI be briefed on their intelligence on Atta and al-Shehhi on three separate occasions - only to be turned down.

"I do know that one of the military intelligence officers I'm talking to had led me to believe that some of his documents have been destroyed," he revealed, adding he has yet to confirm the allegation.

The Pennsylvania Republican told Levin that three current members of the Able Danger team have already come forward to talk to him, and eleven more are willing to testify.

Late-Night Jokes

Leno

Here’s a great story – all seven crewmen are doing fine after being rescued from that Russian mini-sub that was trapped under water. The mini-sub is about 44 feet long and more than 18 feet high. Or as we call it in this country - a SUV.

"The Dukes of Hazard” was number one movie. Taking in over $30 million….or, as Willie Nelson calls that….back taxes!

Two jurors in the Michael Jackson case now say they’ve changed their minds; they now say Michael is guilty. I believe the legal term for this is "book deal”.

Here’s my favorite story - two of the Michael Jackson jurors were on MSNBC tonight to say they regretted acquitting Michael and they know think he’s really guilty. It’s kind of sad, in California; it’s always the jury who’s the last to know.

Can we at least get these two morons to give us back the $10 a day we paid them to be on jury duty?

There was a rumor that Lisa Marie Presley has sold Graceland. Luckily it turned out not to be true. I’m glad she didn’t sell it. I was so afraid the new buyers would turn it into some kind of gaudy, tacky tourist attraction.

Jose Canseco is now selling his World Series ring on his website for $40,000. He didn’t want to sell it, but since he’s off steroids, he can only wear it as a bracelet now.

A scary moment for Marie Osmond, everyone is okay after a fire broke out at her home in Orrin, Utah. Luckily all 5500 Osmonds were evacuated safely.

Letterman

Earlier today they had a simulated gas attack here in New York City. You could tell too – the rats were all covering their faces with hankies.

This was the biggest gas in New York City since…the Republican Convention.

The space shuttle landed safely today. Not only did NASA get the shuttle safely on the ground – they also saved 15% with Geico on their car insurance.

President Bush is on his vacation Crawford, Texas. He says he’ll leave only when Crawford is capable of self rule.

Have you heard this? Two of the Michael Jackson jurors now believe he’s guilty. Gee…if only they could have done something about it.

Conan

Despite bad weather and delays, NASA was able to get the space shuttle Discovery to the ground safely. They had to reroute the landing due to bad weather. Even though the landing was safe, no surprisingly the crew luggage was sent to Atlanta.

Clinton Admin. Knew of 9/11 Hijackers

More than a year before the 9/11 attacks, Clinton administration intelligence officials had identified four of the 19 9/11 hijackers as a terrorist threat - including al-Qaida team leader Mohamed Atta and his partner Marwan al-Shehhi, whose planes destroyed the World Trade Center and killed over 2,700 people.

But the critical information was not acted on, at least in part, because of prohibitions against intelligence sharing implemented by former Deputy Attorney General Jamie Gorelick, who was reportedly installed in her post at the insistence of then-first lady Hillary Clinton.

In the summer of 2000, a military team, known as Able Danger, had prepared a chart that included visa photographs of Atta and al Shehhi and recommended to the military's Special Operations Command that the information be shared with the Federal Bureau of Investigation, Rep. Curt Weldon and a former intelligence official told the New York Times.

"We knew these were bad guys, and we wanted to do something about them," the former intelligence official said.

However, the recommendation was rejected and the information was not shared, in part, said the Times, because the four suspects had entered the United States on valid entry visas.

But Rep. Weldon and the unnamed intelligence official also cited what the paper described as "a sense of discomfort common before Sept. 11 about sharing intelligence information with a law enforcement agency."

In fact, such intelligence sharing was strictly prohibited under Ms. Gorelick's policy, known at the Justice Department as "The Wall," which, in the spring of 2000, had also prevented the CIA from tipping off the FBI that two additional 9/11 hijackers, Khalid al-Mihdhar and Nawaf al-Hazmi, had entered the country.

Al-Midhar and al-Hamzi were identified by the Able Danger team as well, the Times said.

In its final report, however, the 9/11 Commission made no mention of the fact that the Clinton administration had identified key members of the hijack team, even though, the Times noted, that information had been shared with 9/11 Commission members.

The account by Weldon and the Times intelligence source is the first assertion that Atta and al Shehhi - who caused the most destruction in the worst attack ever suffered on U.S. soil - had been identified by the Clinton administration.

In testimony before the 9/11 Commission last year, then-Attorney General John Ashcroft blasted Gorelick's "Wall," saying, "The single greatest structural cause for September 11 was the wall that segregated criminal investigators and intelligence agents"

"[Ms. Gorelick] built that wall," said Ashcroft, "through a March 1995 memo."

The Gorelick memo stipulated, in part:

"We believe that it is prudent to establish a set of instructions that will more clearly separate the counterintelligence investigation from the more limited, but continued, criminal investigations. These procedures, which go beyond what is legally required, will prevent any risk of creating an unwarranted appearance that [the Foreign Intelligence Surveillance Act] is being used to avoid procedural safeguards which would apply in a criminal investigation."

Ms. Gorelick is expected to be a leading candidate for attorney general should Mrs. Clinton win the 2008 presidential election.

Spitzer Probing Air America Loan

New York State Attorney General Eliot Spitzer has opened a preliminary probe into a suspicious loan obtained by the left-wing radio network Air America from the largely taxpayer-funded Gloria Wise Boys & Girls Club of New York City.

"We are looking into it in consultation with the city's Department of Investigation," Spitzer spokesman Darren Dopp told the New York Post on Saturday.

Last month, the DOI said Gloria Wise was under investigation for approving "significant inappropriate transactions" and using "falsified documents that were submitted to various city agencies."

In July, the Bronx News reported that the Air America loan "is at the center of the city’s probe of corruption at the local club." Subsequent reports have pegged the loan's amount at $875,000.

Spitzer's spokesman said the probe is examining "the conduct of the board of [the] charitable not-for-profit organization. The question is: Was their action appropriate?"

Gloria Wise board member Hillel Valentine told the Post that "a gentleman from the Attorney General's Office" visited their offices on Friday.

"I expect that," said Valentine, 80, a former assistant chief in the New York Transit Police Department. "That's their job. I would do the same thing myself."

The Post said that the AG's decision to launch a probe was driven by "Internet bloggers and Republican critics [who] began pounding Spitzer for not intervening" since the DOI investigation was revealed last month.

After promising to pay back Gloria Wise weeks ago, the liberal network has finally started to make amends for the fishy financing - depositing a $50,000 installment in an escrow account controlled by Air America's lawyer.

But even that transaction has raised the eyebrows of DOI probers, who had urged Air America to place the entire $875,000 in an escrow account that no one could touch without their approval.

Late-Night Jokes

Leno

According to President Bush’s most recent physical, he’s the most fit president in history. He’s in the 99 percentile for men 55 to 59 years old. And Dick Cheney is in the 1 percentile. So together they’re 100%. You can’t do better than that!

Doctors said that President Bush's only bad habit is he smokes an occasional cigar. Bush says he smokes cigars to help him think. So lucky he’s not smoking that often.

Let’s just hope those cigars aren’t left over from the Clinton administration. Oh my God!

As you know by now, Rafael Palmeiro was suspended for violating baseball’s steroid policy. At the congressional hearings, Rafael Palmeiro categorically denied ever using steroids. Kind of makes you miss the straight forward honesty of Pete Rose doesn’t it?

You know what’s great? Little more than an hour after the Rafael Palmeiro suspension, President Bush defended him. How does that make Karl Rove feel? It took President Bush a month to say anything about him.

President Bush says he believes Rafael Palmeiro when he says he didn't take steroids even though he tested positive for them. You know that whole weapons of mass destruction thing beginning to make more sense now.

It’s reported that Jose Canseco says he used to inject steroids in Rafael Palmeiro’s buttocks. Is this a good idea - pulling down the pants of a guy on Viagra?

Letterman

It’s so hot out that over at the Central Park Zoo the penguins were marching to Ben and Jerry’s.

It was so hot out today that the guys were applying sun block before urinating in Time Square.

President Bush is about to go on his three week vacation. They call this a working vacation. President Bush will be kicking back. I’m thinking – does this guy every kick forward?

Late-Night Jokes

Leno

It was hot outside today. In fact, it was so hot, Rafael Palmeiro was having a steroids slurpee.

Baltimore Orioles first basemen Rafael Palmeiro has been suspended for 10 games by Major League Baseball after testing positive for steroids. He’s also a spokesperson for Viagra. So he’s on steroids and Viagra. You know what that means? He doesn’t need a bat anymore.

Do you know what you call a player who doesn't take steroids? A Dodger.

Over the weekend, President Bush had his annual physical. The good news – he is in amazing shape. They said his heartbeat at rest is down from 52 beats a minute to 47 beats per minute. Which is pretty impressive when you realize Dick Cheney doesn’t even have a heartbeat at all.

Although doctors did caution President Bush about his posture. They noticed when he starts he tends to lean way to the right.

Donald Trump told congress that he could renovate the U.N. cheaper and quicker than the current bids they have. Of course they’d have to change the name.

Lance Armstrong says after winning his seventh Tour de France, he just wants to lay around now and drink beer. So he’s taking up professional bowling?

When I walked out here before, I saw all the screaming girls out here, and then I remembered – oh, yeah, Al Gore is on the show!

Al Gore’s new cable TV channel made it’s debut today. Current TV, it’s called. Great, just what we need. Another TV network that’s ahead of NBC.

Al Gore’s new network will be like the internet on a television screen; you’ll see onscreen menus, internet slang terms, and a ‘progress bar’ that shows the length of each segment. Also, to make it just like the Internet, every day at 9 A.M. it will crash. And you’ll have to call someone in India to reset it again.

Letterman

It was a beautiful day out today, wasn’t it? On a day like this in New York you don’t know if the people are wearing sun block or are just covered in pigeon crap.

Shootings in New York City are up 70 percent. I knew we’d bounce back!

President Bush is about to start his annual month long vacation at his ranch in Texas. He goes there to unwind. I’m thinking, does this guy ever wind?

Over the weekend President Bush had his physical. They say he might be the most fit president in history. Which is good – if something were to happen to Cheney he could just jump right in and take over.

Late-Night Jokes

Leno

Another scorcher today in Los Angeles, Jessica Simpson changed into an even smaller pair of shorts.

A group of U.S. Muslim scholars announced today they have forbidden terrorism. Well that's nipping it in the bud. I'm glad they came out with this so soon, before things got out of hand.

Here’s a story I mentioned earlier in the week – a new report says that in 2002 Osama bin Laden tried to buy thousands of pounds of cocaine, poison it and then sell it here in America. Tainted cocaine – as opposed to the normal healthy cocaine most Americans enjoy.

So remember when you buy cocaine, if the safety seal is already broken… just return it. Always keep your receipt just in case you need to return it.

Bin Laden’s plan was to put enough poison in the cocaine to either kill thousands of Americans, or give Whitney Houston a really bad headache.

Bin Laden’s plan was to put enough poison in the cocaine to either kill thousands of Americans, or give Whitney Houston a really bad headache.

Yesterday the pope said that churches in countries like the United States are dying out. He said it’s like they’re going out of business. You know why? People used to need churches to help them understand the word of god, but see now that job has been transferred to the federal government.

Letterman

Good news. Crime in New York City is at an all time low. It’s so low that 9-1-1 is now the psychic hotline.

The FDA has approved new treatment for insomnia. You’re watching it!

Martha Stewart gets her anklet bracelet removed in two weeks. Finally…she can now come over to my place.

Letterman's Top Ten

Top Ten O.J. Simpson Excuses For Stealing Direct TV

1. It's not like he killed anyone.

2. Since when is stealing against the law?!

3. Cable's been out since he stabbed his television.

4. "Hey, any publicity is good publicity, am I right?"

5. Believe it or not, he's had a bit of trouble landing a job.

6. It was a rare lapse in judgment.

7. Figured "real killers" might show up on one of them great premium movie channels.

8. Wanted to see where he ranked on Court TV's 100 Creepiest Acquitted Murderers.

9. Spends a lot of time watching television now that it's too hot to go out and kill people.

10. For some reason, cable guy is afraid to come to the house.

Soros-Backed ACT Fades

America Coming Together - the 527 group that raised nearly $200 million in a bid to drive so many Democrats to the polls last year that John Kerry couldn't possibly lose the White House - has shut down its national operation.

George Soros and Peter Lewis, the two Democratic fat cats who funded ACT with record-breaking contributions totaling $38 million, have quietly turned off the cash spigot, reports the Washington Post.

This week ACT began sending e-mails to its remaining staff, warning that their paychecks would stop at the end of August, reports the Washington Post. "All the state offices have been, or are soon to be, closed," the paper said.
Soros spokesman Michael Vachon told the paper that his billionaire boss "was disappointed by the outcome of the election."

"At the same time, he is very pleased with the work that ACT did," he added.

But apparently not so pleased that his wallet will remain open. Asked about future donations to an ACT-like group, Vachon said Soros's plans "are evolving and not yet nailed down."

Founded in 2002 as a way to circumvent McCain-Feingold campaign finance reform, ACT - along with its cousin, the Media Fund - raised $196 million from party fat cats, who, besides Soros and Lewis, included Hollywood moguls and wealthy labor unions.

The idea for ACT was hatched by top Clinton fundraising strategist Harold Ickes, who had helped raised oodles of suspect cash for President Clinton's 1996 re-election race. Working with Steve Rosenthal, who had been political director of the AFL-CIO, Ickes planned to target 17 key swing states that could shift the 2004 election to Democrats.

When his plan to create a "shadow" Democratic Party that could legally evade spending laws was first reported in August 2003, Ickes boasted cynically, "Welcome to campaign finance reform."

But after failing to engineer any major electoral successes, those halcyon days are gone.

For now, ACT will limit itself to voter research in Virginia, Rosenthal told the Post.

Russia Won't Renew ABC Credential

Russia's Foreign Ministry said Tuesday it will not renew permission for ABC-TV to operate in the country after the network broadcast an interview with a notorious Chechen warlord.

In a statement, the ministry said ABC would be considered "undesirable" by all Russian state agencies because of an interview with Shamil Basayev, which was broadcast last week on "Nightline."

The ministry called the broadcast a "clear fact supporting the propaganda of terrorism" and said it "resounded with direct calls for violence against Russian citizens."

As a result, the ministry said it decided "not to renew the accreditations of employees of this television company after they expire."

The Foreign Ministry is the main government agency authorizing foreign media outlets to work in Russia, and the decision effectively now bars ABC from working here.

ABC News had no immediate comment.

In Washington, State Department spokesman Tom Casey said any decision that limited ABC's operations in Russia would be regrettable.

"I think we believe that ABC as well as all other members of the media should have the opportunity for freedom of expression and have the right to report as they see fit," Casey said.

On Friday, the Foreign Ministry summoned a top U.S. diplomat to protest the interview with Basayev, who has claimed responsibility for some of Russia's most terrifying terrorist attacks, including last year's hostage seizure at the school in Beslan, which ended in the deaths of more than 330 children and adults.

In the interview conducted by Russian journalist Andrei Babitsky, Basayev, who has a $10 million bounty on his head, said he was plotting more attacks.

Among other attacks, Basayev has been linked to a 2002 hostage-taking assault on a Moscow theater that left 170 people dead, a 2003 suicide attack in the Moscow subway that killed 41 people, and a 2003 double suicide bombing at a Moscow rock concert that killed 17 people.

On Sunday, Defense Minister Sergei Ivanov said he was barring military personnel from contact with ABC and said the ministry now considered the network "persona non grata."

The ministry also suggested that the U.S.-funded Radio Liberty, whom Babitsky works for, would face new scrutiny.

"It's also worth nothing that in Moscow attention has been paid to the fact that the interview with the terrorist was conducted by A. Babitsky, a Radio Liberty staffer, in violation of the Russian law, without a corresponding accreditation," the ministry said. "Circumstances of organizing and receiving this interview are yet to be cleared with his employer."

In previous reports from Chechnya, Babitsky has focused on human rights abuses by Russian troops. Russian authorities have accused him of being a Chechen sympathizer.

Schools Should Teach 'Intelligent Design'

President Bush said Monday he believes schools should discuss "intelligent design" alongside evolution when teaching students about the creation of life.

During a round-table interview with reporters from five Texas newspapers, Bush declined to go into detail on his personal views of the origin of life. But he said students should learn about both ideas, Knight Ridder Newspapers reported.

"I think that part of education is to expose people to different schools of thought," Bush said. "You're asking me whether or not people ought to be exposed to different ideas, the answer is yes."

The theory of intelligent design says life on earth is too complex to have developed through evolution, implying that a higher power must have had a hand in creation.

Christian conservatives — a substantial part of Bush's voting base — have been pushing for the teaching of intelligent design in public schools. Scientists have rejected the idea as an attempt to force religion into science education.

On other topics during the group interview, the president:

Refused to discuss the investigation into whether political aide Karl Rove or any other White House official leaked a CIA officer's identity, but he stood behind Rove. "Karl's got my complete confidence. He's a valuable member of my team," Bush said.

Said he did not ask Supreme Court nominee John Roberts about his views on Roe v. Wade, the 1973 decision that legalized abortion.

Said he hopes to work with Congress to pass an immigration reform bill this fall, including provisions for guest workers and enhanced security along the U.S.-Mexico border.

Sandy Berger Blasts Bush for Security Failure?

Convicted 9/11 Commission document thief Sandy Berger is blasting the Bush administration for failing to bring security to Iraq after toppling Saddam Hussein.

As co-chair of a Council on Foreign Relations task force on the Iraq war, Berger and his colleagues are complaining that the U.S.'s failure to prepare for the period after the war had given "early impetus for the insurgency," according to quotes picked up by Reuters.

Despite pleading guilty in April to destroying top secret terrorism documents related to the 9/11 investigation, the former Clinton administration national security advisor was tapped to head up the CFR panel along with former Bush 41 National Security Advisor Brent Scowcroft.

In a written report released last week, the Berger-Scowcroft panel concluded:

"The critical miscalculation of Iraq war-planning was that the stabilization and reconstruction mission would require no more forces than the invasion itself."

Berger and his colleagues cited the Bush administration's "inattention" and "misjudgments" as key reasons for the post-war security failure.

"Pre-war inattention to post-war requirements – or simply misjudgments about them – left the United States ill-equipped to address public security, governance and economic demands in the immediate aftermath of the conflict, seriously undermining key U.S. foreign policy goals."

Despite the seriousness of his crime, Justice Department prosecutors have recommended that Berger serve no jail time, and instead pay only a $10,000 fine and surrender his security clearance for three years.

His sentence is scheduled to be set by D.C. Magistrate Judge Deborah Robinson in September.