Tuesday, December 16, 2008
Late Nite Jokes
Jay Leno
Looks like we’ve finally found something President Bush is good at — dodge ball.
As you know, yesterday in Iraq, President Bush was attacked by a shoe-icide bomber.
President Bush was speaking at a news conference in Iraq when a journalist threw two shoes at him. Here’s what he did to keep from being hit — something he’s never done before — he leaned to the left.
Even Bill Clinton was impressed. He is an expert at ducking shoes . . . and ashtrays . . . and lamps . . .
David Letterman
I hope things go better for Santa this year — last year he was shot down over Alaska by Sarah Palin.
Bush was in Baghdad at a press conference, and a reporter jumped up and started heaving shoes at him. He was screaming, “Here’s your farewell kiss, you dog.” That’s the same goodbye I got from NBC.
They arrested the guy — they’re trying to find out if he is shoenni or shoe’itte.
The guy bought the shoes at a Payless, and they didn’t even do a background check.
Conan O'Brien
Yesterday at a press conference in Baghdad, an angry Iraqi threw his shoes at President Bush’s head. When he saw the shoes, President Bush said, “See? I knew you guys had weapons of mass destruction.”
The man who threw his shoes at President Bush is being hailed as a hero in Iraq. In fact, when he dies, he’ll be greeted in heaven by 72 podiatrists.
Time-Warner Cable has come out with a calendar featuring pictures of sexy cable repairmen. Unfortunately, the cable guy who posed for February won’t show up until sometime between March and June.
Craig Ferguson
A great day for Gov. Blagojevich. He still has his job. He didn’t resign. Everyone thought he was going to resign. Looks like his plan is to keep hanging on, even though the game is over. Political experts call this strategy the “Hilary Clinton.”
Bush has been accused of dodging issues in the past, but who knew he could actually dodge shoes?
He’s 62 years old, but he still has the reflexes of a cat. Mind you, I think his head has been on a swivel ever since Cheney shot his lawyer.
The irony of this shoe-throwing incident is, it’s as close as we’ll ever get to finding weapons of mass destruction in Iraq.
Jay Leno
Looks like we’ve finally found something President Bush is good at — dodge ball.
As you know, yesterday in Iraq, President Bush was attacked by a shoe-icide bomber.
President Bush was speaking at a news conference in Iraq when a journalist threw two shoes at him. Here’s what he did to keep from being hit — something he’s never done before — he leaned to the left.
Even Bill Clinton was impressed. He is an expert at ducking shoes . . . and ashtrays . . . and lamps . . .
David Letterman
I hope things go better for Santa this year — last year he was shot down over Alaska by Sarah Palin.
Bush was in Baghdad at a press conference, and a reporter jumped up and started heaving shoes at him. He was screaming, “Here’s your farewell kiss, you dog.” That’s the same goodbye I got from NBC.
They arrested the guy — they’re trying to find out if he is shoenni or shoe’itte.
The guy bought the shoes at a Payless, and they didn’t even do a background check.
Conan O'Brien
Yesterday at a press conference in Baghdad, an angry Iraqi threw his shoes at President Bush’s head. When he saw the shoes, President Bush said, “See? I knew you guys had weapons of mass destruction.”
The man who threw his shoes at President Bush is being hailed as a hero in Iraq. In fact, when he dies, he’ll be greeted in heaven by 72 podiatrists.
Time-Warner Cable has come out with a calendar featuring pictures of sexy cable repairmen. Unfortunately, the cable guy who posed for February won’t show up until sometime between March and June.
Craig Ferguson
A great day for Gov. Blagojevich. He still has his job. He didn’t resign. Everyone thought he was going to resign. Looks like his plan is to keep hanging on, even though the game is over. Political experts call this strategy the “Hilary Clinton.”
Bush has been accused of dodging issues in the past, but who knew he could actually dodge shoes?
He’s 62 years old, but he still has the reflexes of a cat. Mind you, I think his head has been on a swivel ever since Cheney shot his lawyer.
The irony of this shoe-throwing incident is, it’s as close as we’ll ever get to finding weapons of mass destruction in Iraq.
