Wednesday, July 9, 2008
Late Nite Jokes
Jay Leno
It was so hot today, John McCain offered a $300 million prize to the first person to develop a prune Slurpee.
Happy birthday to President Bush — 62 on Sunday. He is now twice his approval rating.
John Kerry is now criticizing John McCain. Kerry is saying McCain doesn’t have the judgment to be president. I don’t think that’s true. McCain had the good judgment not to accept Kerry’s offer to be his running mate in 2004.
Democrats are preparing for their convention in Denver. They have hired the first ever director of “greening.” They say this will ensure everything about their convention will be green . . . including nominating a candidate who’s only been a senator for a couple of years.
Conan O'Brien
Barack Obama's campaign has announced they are going to hold an event at a NASCAR race. The event will be called, “Meet Your First Black Guy.”
A 60-year-old woman was kicked out of a McCain rally for heckling him. Afterwards, McCain said, “I’m just not popular with young women.”
Months ago, Hillary Clinton’s campaign booked hundreds of hotel rooms for the Democratic Convention. Now that she’s out of the race, she doesn’t need them anymore. Just as Hillary’s staff was about to cancel the rooms, Bill Clinton stepped in and said, “I’ll use them!’
Cuba announced they will send a rowing team to the Olympics. They started training last month and haven’t been seen since.
Jay Leno
It was so hot today, John McCain offered a $300 million prize to the first person to develop a prune Slurpee.
Happy birthday to President Bush — 62 on Sunday. He is now twice his approval rating.
John Kerry is now criticizing John McCain. Kerry is saying McCain doesn’t have the judgment to be president. I don’t think that’s true. McCain had the good judgment not to accept Kerry’s offer to be his running mate in 2004.
Democrats are preparing for their convention in Denver. They have hired the first ever director of “greening.” They say this will ensure everything about their convention will be green . . . including nominating a candidate who’s only been a senator for a couple of years.
Conan O'Brien
Barack Obama's campaign has announced they are going to hold an event at a NASCAR race. The event will be called, “Meet Your First Black Guy.”
A 60-year-old woman was kicked out of a McCain rally for heckling him. Afterwards, McCain said, “I’m just not popular with young women.”
Months ago, Hillary Clinton’s campaign booked hundreds of hotel rooms for the Democratic Convention. Now that she’s out of the race, she doesn’t need them anymore. Just as Hillary’s staff was about to cancel the rooms, Bill Clinton stepped in and said, “I’ll use them!’
Cuba announced they will send a rowing team to the Olympics. They started training last month and haven’t been seen since.
