Wednesday, July 23, 2008
Late Nite Jokes
Jay Leno
Barack Obama is now over in the Middle East. And did you see him playing basketball with our troops in Iraq? Did you see that one shot he made from 40 feet? Let me tell you something: If shooting baskets is now a requirement to be president, a white guy may never have that job again.
Barack Obama is very popular in the Middle East. I guess a lot of people over there saw the cover of The New Yorker.
This is Barack’s third day in the Middle East. And President Bush said that he has no timetable for bringing him back home.
John McCain called a press conference today. Unfortunately, all the press was out of the country covering Obama.
David Letterman
Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi is calling the Bush White House a total failure. I don’t know. I think he’s doing OK, if you don’t count Iraq . . . the economy . . . Afghanistan . . . the mortgage crisis . . .
In a speech, John McCain mistaken said Iraq and Afghanistan have a common border. And I’m thinking, “No wonder we can’t find Osama bin Laden — we’ve been searching an imaginary border.”
Osama bin Laden’s driver is on trial. The charges are terrorism, conspiracy, making an illegal left turn . . .
Jimmy Kimmel Live!
“Dark Night,” the new Batman movie, made $59 billion dollars over the weekend . . . which I guess is a record.
There is officially no popcorn left anywhere in the universe.
New pictures of Britney Spears have emerged . . . holding a pack of cigarettes while her son, Sean Preston, has a lighter in his hand. At least they’re spending quality time together. A lot of moms don’t make time to smoke with their kids.
Jay Leno
Barack Obama is now over in the Middle East. And did you see him playing basketball with our troops in Iraq? Did you see that one shot he made from 40 feet? Let me tell you something: If shooting baskets is now a requirement to be president, a white guy may never have that job again.
Barack Obama is very popular in the Middle East. I guess a lot of people over there saw the cover of The New Yorker.
This is Barack’s third day in the Middle East. And President Bush said that he has no timetable for bringing him back home.
John McCain called a press conference today. Unfortunately, all the press was out of the country covering Obama.
David Letterman
Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi is calling the Bush White House a total failure. I don’t know. I think he’s doing OK, if you don’t count Iraq . . . the economy . . . Afghanistan . . . the mortgage crisis . . .
In a speech, John McCain mistaken said Iraq and Afghanistan have a common border. And I’m thinking, “No wonder we can’t find Osama bin Laden — we’ve been searching an imaginary border.”
Osama bin Laden’s driver is on trial. The charges are terrorism, conspiracy, making an illegal left turn . . .
Jimmy Kimmel Live!
“Dark Night,” the new Batman movie, made $59 billion dollars over the weekend . . . which I guess is a record.
There is officially no popcorn left anywhere in the universe.
New pictures of Britney Spears have emerged . . . holding a pack of cigarettes while her son, Sean Preston, has a lighter in his hand. At least they’re spending quality time together. A lot of moms don’t make time to smoke with their kids.
