Saturday, March 22, 2008
Late Nite Jokes
Jay Leno
Winter officially ended this week. Today, Al Gore blamed winter's end on global warming.
Nothing but disasters in the country — floods in the Midwest, fires in Texas, the Democratic Party . . .
John McCain is now 10 percent ahead of Hillary Clinton and 7 percent ahead of Barack Obama. This is after Iraq, a recession, and no healthcare. Imagine if the Republicans had actually done something.
John McCain received a warm welcome in Israel. He’s always been hugely popular in Israel, ever since he stood with the Jewish people against the pharaoh.
Conan O'Brien
A new study shows that wine drinkers prefer Hillary Clinton to the other candidates. After hearing this, Bill Clinton asked, “How much wine have they had?"
Former New York Gov. Eliot Spitzer has reportedly entered therapy for a sex addiction. Spitzer said his therapy is going well and that his therapist has a fantastic rack.
In New Jersey today, there were dangerous winds with gusts up to 50 miles an hour. The winds were so strong that they blew former Governor McGreevey off his chauffeur.
A big insurance company just announced they will give $10 million to anyone who can invent a car that gets 100 miles per gallon. Meanwhile, Exxon says they’ll give $11 million to anyone who kills that guy.
Jay Leno
Winter officially ended this week. Today, Al Gore blamed winter's end on global warming.
Nothing but disasters in the country — floods in the Midwest, fires in Texas, the Democratic Party . . .
John McCain is now 10 percent ahead of Hillary Clinton and 7 percent ahead of Barack Obama. This is after Iraq, a recession, and no healthcare. Imagine if the Republicans had actually done something.
John McCain received a warm welcome in Israel. He’s always been hugely popular in Israel, ever since he stood with the Jewish people against the pharaoh.
Conan O'Brien
A new study shows that wine drinkers prefer Hillary Clinton to the other candidates. After hearing this, Bill Clinton asked, “How much wine have they had?"
Former New York Gov. Eliot Spitzer has reportedly entered therapy for a sex addiction. Spitzer said his therapy is going well and that his therapist has a fantastic rack.
In New Jersey today, there were dangerous winds with gusts up to 50 miles an hour. The winds were so strong that they blew former Governor McGreevey off his chauffeur.
A big insurance company just announced they will give $10 million to anyone who can invent a car that gets 100 miles per gallon. Meanwhile, Exxon says they’ll give $11 million to anyone who kills that guy.
