Friday, March 9, 2007
Late Nite Jokes
Ferguson
It’s a great day for the Georgia man who won $80 million. I found out who he is; I Googled him. He’s a 52-year-old man who lives with his mom. I wonder what he’s going to do with his money. He’ll probably use it to get a younger, hotter mom. A trophy mom.
There was a guy in Wisconsin who was trying to recreate a "Jackass" stunt. He was badly burned after one of his friends set his privates on fire. Listen, as far as I’m concerned, we’re no longer friends once you set my privates on fire . . . we’re no longer friends. We’re not friends, we’re married, that’s what it is.
This is the year I’m going to get fit, because in my closet I’ve got my fat pants and my thin pants. Trouble is, my thin pants are leather. I’m not giving up the dream. But I’d be an old guy in lerather pants. I don’t really need them anyway. At my age, I could just walk around with no pants on, and it would look like I’m wearing leather pants.
Ferguson
It’s a great day for the Georgia man who won $80 million. I found out who he is; I Googled him. He’s a 52-year-old man who lives with his mom. I wonder what he’s going to do with his money. He’ll probably use it to get a younger, hotter mom. A trophy mom.
There was a guy in Wisconsin who was trying to recreate a "Jackass" stunt. He was badly burned after one of his friends set his privates on fire. Listen, as far as I’m concerned, we’re no longer friends once you set my privates on fire . . . we’re no longer friends. We’re not friends, we’re married, that’s what it is.
This is the year I’m going to get fit, because in my closet I’ve got my fat pants and my thin pants. Trouble is, my thin pants are leather. I’m not giving up the dream. But I’d be an old guy in lerather pants. I don’t really need them anyway. At my age, I could just walk around with no pants on, and it would look like I’m wearing leather pants.
