Friday, November 17, 2006
Late Nite Jokes
Letterman's Top Ten
Top Ten Taco Bell Excuses
10. Drugs help hide the taste of coyote meat
9. Can't keep staff focused since the Britney/Kevin split
8. Hard to tell what customer ordered through cheap drive-thru microphone, am I right, ladies and gentlemen?
7. We need to hire more drug-sniffing chihuahuas
6. The drugs should kill the E. coli
5. No number 5 - writer ate bad taco
4. He asked for a value meal, he got a value meal
3. Who cares? It's Impressionist Week
2. Accidentally gave the guy Rush Limbaugh's order
1. We were thinking outside the bun
Conan
President Bush just began a seven-day trip through Asia. So far, everywhere he’s gone in Asia he’s been met by thousands of protesters. President Bush may be the first American to be greeted with the phrase, "We hate you long time.”
President Bush just announced that next month he will host a White House conference on malaria. Bush told reporters, "I’m looking forward to meeting the Marlarians.”
Lawyers in Germany are trying to have Donald Rumsfeld arrested and tried for war crimes. You know things are bad when Germany is accusing you of war crimes.
This weekend, Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes are getting married in a lavish ceremony – and Holmes will be wearing a perfume that costs $2,400 an ounce. The perfume is called "Eau de Giant Charade.”
Eva Longoria is angrily denying rumors that she will be playing Beyonce’s lesbian lover in a movie. So know one knows if the movie is real or just a dream I had.
O.J. Simpson is going to appear in a Fox special called: "If I Did It, Here’s How It Happened.” Then O.J. will appear in a rebuttal special called: "But Perhaps I Didn’t Do It – Unless Of Course By ‘It’ You Mean ‘Double Murder’ – In Which Case Yes: I Did It.”
Letterman's Top Ten
Top Ten Taco Bell Excuses
10. Drugs help hide the taste of coyote meat
9. Can't keep staff focused since the Britney/Kevin split
8. Hard to tell what customer ordered through cheap drive-thru microphone, am I right, ladies and gentlemen?
7. We need to hire more drug-sniffing chihuahuas
6. The drugs should kill the E. coli
5. No number 5 - writer ate bad taco
4. He asked for a value meal, he got a value meal
3. Who cares? It's Impressionist Week
2. Accidentally gave the guy Rush Limbaugh's order
1. We were thinking outside the bun
Conan
President Bush just began a seven-day trip through Asia. So far, everywhere he’s gone in Asia he’s been met by thousands of protesters. President Bush may be the first American to be greeted with the phrase, "We hate you long time.”
President Bush just announced that next month he will host a White House conference on malaria. Bush told reporters, "I’m looking forward to meeting the Marlarians.”
Lawyers in Germany are trying to have Donald Rumsfeld arrested and tried for war crimes. You know things are bad when Germany is accusing you of war crimes.
This weekend, Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes are getting married in a lavish ceremony – and Holmes will be wearing a perfume that costs $2,400 an ounce. The perfume is called "Eau de Giant Charade.”
Eva Longoria is angrily denying rumors that she will be playing Beyonce’s lesbian lover in a movie. So know one knows if the movie is real or just a dream I had.
O.J. Simpson is going to appear in a Fox special called: "If I Did It, Here’s How It Happened.” Then O.J. will appear in a rebuttal special called: "But Perhaps I Didn’t Do It – Unless Of Course By ‘It’ You Mean ‘Double Murder’ – In Which Case Yes: I Did It.”
