Wednesday, November 15, 2006
Late Nite Jokes
Letterman's Top Ten
Top Ten Signs You're Obsessed With "Lost"
10.After each episode, you do an all-kitty reenactment in your basement
9. You refer to your in-laws as "The Others"
8. While visiting New York, you stood over every manhole and screamed, "Good God - a secret hatch"
7. You're halfway to your goal of licking every cast member
6. Your friend phoned during "Lost." Next day you beat him to death with a hot poker
5. You pitched NBC a show about 12 people stranded backstage at "Saturday Night Live"
4. Co-workers affectionately refer to you as "That loser who's obsessed with 'Lost'"
3. Renamed dental practice "Flost"
2. Your wife is getting sick of playing the bedroom game "Find the castaway"
1. You sat through all ten of these lame jokes
Conan
This week President Bush is flying to Asia to meet with leaders of Indonesia, Malaysia, the Phillippines, Singapore, Thailand and Vietnam. Or as Bush calls them, China.
Yesterday, Democrat Russ Feinglod announced that he has decided NOT to run for President in 2008. Which finally answers the question no one asked.
Sources say the prenup Britney Spears made Kevin Federline sign is 60 pages long. The first page handles who gets the money and the next 59 pages handle who gets the trucker hats.
Wal-Mart announced they're coming out with their own brand of wine. Wal-Mart's wine comes in red or white, as well as 12- or 16-ounce cans.
According to a new report, the most frequently delayed flight in the country is Delta's 6:30 flight from New York to Washington, D.C. - which is late 100 percent of the time. Delta officials plan to fix the problem with the 6:30 flight by re-naming it the "7:30 flight."
According to Variety, there is a new movie coming out featuring Beyonce and Eva Longoria playing lesbian lovers. It's called "The Greatest Movie Ever Made."
Letterman's Top Ten
Top Ten Signs You're Obsessed With "Lost"
10.After each episode, you do an all-kitty reenactment in your basement
9. You refer to your in-laws as "The Others"
8. While visiting New York, you stood over every manhole and screamed, "Good God - a secret hatch"
7. You're halfway to your goal of licking every cast member
6. Your friend phoned during "Lost." Next day you beat him to death with a hot poker
5. You pitched NBC a show about 12 people stranded backstage at "Saturday Night Live"
4. Co-workers affectionately refer to you as "That loser who's obsessed with 'Lost'"
3. Renamed dental practice "Flost"
2. Your wife is getting sick of playing the bedroom game "Find the castaway"
1. You sat through all ten of these lame jokes
Conan
This week President Bush is flying to Asia to meet with leaders of Indonesia, Malaysia, the Phillippines, Singapore, Thailand and Vietnam. Or as Bush calls them, China.
Yesterday, Democrat Russ Feinglod announced that he has decided NOT to run for President in 2008. Which finally answers the question no one asked.
Sources say the prenup Britney Spears made Kevin Federline sign is 60 pages long. The first page handles who gets the money and the next 59 pages handle who gets the trucker hats.
Wal-Mart announced they're coming out with their own brand of wine. Wal-Mart's wine comes in red or white, as well as 12- or 16-ounce cans.
According to a new report, the most frequently delayed flight in the country is Delta's 6:30 flight from New York to Washington, D.C. - which is late 100 percent of the time. Delta officials plan to fix the problem with the 6:30 flight by re-naming it the "7:30 flight."
According to Variety, there is a new movie coming out featuring Beyonce and Eva Longoria playing lesbian lovers. It's called "The Greatest Movie Ever Made."
