Thursday, November 23, 2006
Late Nite Jokes
Leno
Today is the busiest travel day of the year. Over 38 million people will be traveling – and that’s just the people coming over from Mexico.
For those of you flying, you can only carry three ounces of gravy with you.
Thanksgiving is a day we spend with relatives. Or as Donald Rumsfeld calls it, acceptable torture.
I went down to the animal shelter and adopted a stray turkey. They taste just as good as the other ones.
In the December issue of "GQ” magazine Al Gore revels that Bill Clinton does not drink. I wouldn’t have guessed that. He doesn’t drink. Can you believe that? When he was hitting on Paula Jones he was sober!
Letterman
Tomorrow is the big Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade. Sorry kids no Kramer balloon this year.
Thanksgiving is a lot of fun. All my relatives come to town. I picked mom up at the airport. It was embarrassing. We had to wait for a frozen butterball to come down the luggage pickup.
Mom is a tremendous cook though. You know how turkey makes you sleepy? Well mom figured something out to counteract that. What she does is the night before, she marinates that turkey in Red Bull.
Today President Bush pardoned two turkeys at the White House. The turkeys end up a petting zoon in Virginia. It’s the same thing they did with Mark Foley.
Conan
Fox has cancelled its deal with O.J. O.J. is saying that the title of the show and book was not his idea. "If I Did It This Is How It Happened” was not his idea. His idea was "When I Did It”.
Leno
Today is the busiest travel day of the year. Over 38 million people will be traveling – and that’s just the people coming over from Mexico.
For those of you flying, you can only carry three ounces of gravy with you.
Thanksgiving is a day we spend with relatives. Or as Donald Rumsfeld calls it, acceptable torture.
I went down to the animal shelter and adopted a stray turkey. They taste just as good as the other ones.
In the December issue of "GQ” magazine Al Gore revels that Bill Clinton does not drink. I wouldn’t have guessed that. He doesn’t drink. Can you believe that? When he was hitting on Paula Jones he was sober!
Letterman
Tomorrow is the big Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade. Sorry kids no Kramer balloon this year.
Thanksgiving is a lot of fun. All my relatives come to town. I picked mom up at the airport. It was embarrassing. We had to wait for a frozen butterball to come down the luggage pickup.
Mom is a tremendous cook though. You know how turkey makes you sleepy? Well mom figured something out to counteract that. What she does is the night before, she marinates that turkey in Red Bull.
Today President Bush pardoned two turkeys at the White House. The turkeys end up a petting zoon in Virginia. It’s the same thing they did with Mark Foley.
Conan
Fox has cancelled its deal with O.J. O.J. is saying that the title of the show and book was not his idea. "If I Did It This Is How It Happened” was not his idea. His idea was "When I Did It”.
