Tuesday, October 3, 2006
Late Nite Jokes
Leno
With all the sleaziness in politics it makes me glad that I’m in a career like show business.
I want to remind everyone that this is a kosher monologue in honor of Yom Kippur.
Bob Woodward has a new book out. He’s had three now. In the first two he said that President Bush was firmly in command. Now in the third one he says that the Bush administration is in denial with confusion and bickering. Forget all that, I want to know if I can get a refund on the first two books?
Dan Bartlett says that Woodward’s book has a formulated conclusion. His mind was already made up. Sort of like invading a country without knowing all the facts.
The US Army is investigating whether or not a group of women in the Kentucky National Guard posed nude with M-16’s while on duty. If it turns out to be true the pictures will be sent to recruitment centers across the country.
Al Gore says that smoking is a major factor in global warming. Cigarettes are a major factor. Unfortunately when Al Gore gives a speech most people leave the room for a cigarette.
Letterman
Florida Congressman Mark Foley has resigned after allegations of inappropriate relations with a minor. At least Democrats wait until interns turn 18.
The Republicans acted quickly on the situation. He’s being transferred to a different parish.
Bob Woodward claims that the Bush administration is in a state of denial. Today the Bush administration denied it.
Leno
With all the sleaziness in politics it makes me glad that I’m in a career like show business.
I want to remind everyone that this is a kosher monologue in honor of Yom Kippur.
Bob Woodward has a new book out. He’s had three now. In the first two he said that President Bush was firmly in command. Now in the third one he says that the Bush administration is in denial with confusion and bickering. Forget all that, I want to know if I can get a refund on the first two books?
Dan Bartlett says that Woodward’s book has a formulated conclusion. His mind was already made up. Sort of like invading a country without knowing all the facts.
The US Army is investigating whether or not a group of women in the Kentucky National Guard posed nude with M-16’s while on duty. If it turns out to be true the pictures will be sent to recruitment centers across the country.
Al Gore says that smoking is a major factor in global warming. Cigarettes are a major factor. Unfortunately when Al Gore gives a speech most people leave the room for a cigarette.
Letterman
Florida Congressman Mark Foley has resigned after allegations of inappropriate relations with a minor. At least Democrats wait until interns turn 18.
The Republicans acted quickly on the situation. He’s being transferred to a different parish.
Bob Woodward claims that the Bush administration is in a state of denial. Today the Bush administration denied it.
