Tuesday, October 31, 2006
Late Nite Jokes
Leno
Tomorrow is Halloween. At Dick Cheney’s house instead of giving kids candy, he waterboards them until they give up their candy.
In the United States it’s called Halloween. In Mexico they have the Day of the Dead. This is when they honor the souls that have disappeared to L.A.
Have you seen these "fun size” packages of candy? Why does the candy get smaller and our kids keep getting fatter?
Kids are so fat these days. In fact one of the popular costumes this year is a Mini Cooper.
Tonight on TV you can find all kinds of scary movies. "Nightmare On Elm Street”, "Texas Chainsaw Massacre”. In Detroit they’re just showing reruns of the World Series.
Cardinals pitcher David Eckstein is on the show tonight. He was the World Series MVP. He’s not big, he’s a little guy. In fact after the final game Madonna ran onto the field and tried to adopt him.
Daylight Savings Time ended this weekend. Did you get your clock set back? I wonder how that works for Keifer Sutherland on "24”.
The Panama Canal is going to be widened. Well of course – with all the fat ass buffets on the cruise ships these days, they had to.
An elementary school in Santa Monica is banning tag from the playground. They’re afraid that the game could affect children’s self esteem. This also could prevent the spread of "kooties”.
Leno
Tomorrow is Halloween. At Dick Cheney’s house instead of giving kids candy, he waterboards them until they give up their candy.
In the United States it’s called Halloween. In Mexico they have the Day of the Dead. This is when they honor the souls that have disappeared to L.A.
Have you seen these "fun size” packages of candy? Why does the candy get smaller and our kids keep getting fatter?
Kids are so fat these days. In fact one of the popular costumes this year is a Mini Cooper.
Tonight on TV you can find all kinds of scary movies. "Nightmare On Elm Street”, "Texas Chainsaw Massacre”. In Detroit they’re just showing reruns of the World Series.
Cardinals pitcher David Eckstein is on the show tonight. He was the World Series MVP. He’s not big, he’s a little guy. In fact after the final game Madonna ran onto the field and tried to adopt him.
Daylight Savings Time ended this weekend. Did you get your clock set back? I wonder how that works for Keifer Sutherland on "24”.
The Panama Canal is going to be widened. Well of course – with all the fat ass buffets on the cruise ships these days, they had to.
An elementary school in Santa Monica is banning tag from the playground. They’re afraid that the game could affect children’s self esteem. This also could prevent the spread of "kooties”.
