Wednesday, October 25, 2006
Late Nite Jokes
Leno
There are now 300 million people in the United States. That either means we are a strong democracy or we have a poor border patrol.
Kim Jung Il is reportedly ecstatic about North Korea’s successful nuclear test. He’s feeling five feet tall!
He’s a strange guy. What’s up with the pompadour? He looks like Wayne Newton and William Hung had a kid.
Florida Congressman Mark Foley has completed one week of his rehab. He has gone seven days without a page.
The Army has changed their slogan from "Army of One” to "Army: Strong”. A number of other countries have done the same. India is now "We fix more computer by 9:00 AM than most do all day.” Switzerland is "See what a pocket knife, scissors, corkscrew and little nail file can do for you.” Morocco, "Less talk, more rocco!” And Cuba, "Invading America one raft at a time.”
Conan
President Bush is working hard on the Iraq situation. Today he told the Iraqi people to "get governing”. Then he went on to introduce his new speech writer, Larry the Cable Guy.
Major League Baseball has announced a formal investigation into Barry Bonds alleged steroid use. The investigation will involve looking at a photograph of Barry Bonds.
Leno
There are now 300 million people in the United States. That either means we are a strong democracy or we have a poor border patrol.
Kim Jung Il is reportedly ecstatic about North Korea’s successful nuclear test. He’s feeling five feet tall!
He’s a strange guy. What’s up with the pompadour? He looks like Wayne Newton and William Hung had a kid.
Florida Congressman Mark Foley has completed one week of his rehab. He has gone seven days without a page.
The Army has changed their slogan from "Army of One” to "Army: Strong”. A number of other countries have done the same. India is now "We fix more computer by 9:00 AM than most do all day.” Switzerland is "See what a pocket knife, scissors, corkscrew and little nail file can do for you.” Morocco, "Less talk, more rocco!” And Cuba, "Invading America one raft at a time.”
Conan
President Bush is working hard on the Iraq situation. Today he told the Iraqi people to "get governing”. Then he went on to introduce his new speech writer, Larry the Cable Guy.
Major League Baseball has announced a formal investigation into Barry Bonds alleged steroid use. The investigation will involve looking at a photograph of Barry Bonds.
