Thursday, September 28, 2006
Late Nite Jokes
Leno
Virginia Senator George Allen is under fire for making racially insensitive remarks and for having a Confederate flag in his office. He blames it all on the Jewish controlled media.
The Senate has passed a resolution to build a 700 mile fence along our 2,000 mile Mexican border. This is what happens when you let President Bush do the math.
The Fox network has a new show coming out called "When Presidents Attack!”
Did you see that? President Clinton’s interview with Chris Wallace, he said he tried to kill Osama bin Laden many times. I’d believe Clinton but we all know how bad his aim is.
If Osama bin Laden weighed 200 more pounds and wore a red beret Clinton would have nailed him!
There’s rumors going around that George Clooney might run for a political office. When asked about it Clooney said, "The only thing I’m running for is two legs and skirt.” He said that. Which Ted Kennedy responded, "No reason you can’t do both.”
Letterman's Top Ten
Top Ten Questions To Ask Yourself Before Ordering The Burger King Quad Stacker
10."Are my papers in order?"
9. "Can I get it supersized?"
8. "Will I have time to run 298 miles to burn off the calories?"
7. "Could this have anything to do with why the rest of the world hates us?"
6. "Should I talk to my doctor about Lipitor?"
5. "Can I get it on a low-carb bun?"
4."How come there isn't any sausage on this bad boy?"
3. "Why is Burger King making me sign a release form?"
2. "Should I wait til they come out with the 'Quint Stacker'?"
1. "Do I have my cardiologist on speed dial?"
Leno
Virginia Senator George Allen is under fire for making racially insensitive remarks and for having a Confederate flag in his office. He blames it all on the Jewish controlled media.
The Senate has passed a resolution to build a 700 mile fence along our 2,000 mile Mexican border. This is what happens when you let President Bush do the math.
The Fox network has a new show coming out called "When Presidents Attack!”
Did you see that? President Clinton’s interview with Chris Wallace, he said he tried to kill Osama bin Laden many times. I’d believe Clinton but we all know how bad his aim is.
If Osama bin Laden weighed 200 more pounds and wore a red beret Clinton would have nailed him!
There’s rumors going around that George Clooney might run for a political office. When asked about it Clooney said, "The only thing I’m running for is two legs and skirt.” He said that. Which Ted Kennedy responded, "No reason you can’t do both.”
Letterman's Top Ten
Top Ten Questions To Ask Yourself Before Ordering The Burger King Quad Stacker
10."Are my papers in order?"
9. "Can I get it supersized?"
8. "Will I have time to run 298 miles to burn off the calories?"
7. "Could this have anything to do with why the rest of the world hates us?"
6. "Should I talk to my doctor about Lipitor?"
5. "Can I get it on a low-carb bun?"
4."How come there isn't any sausage on this bad boy?"
3. "Why is Burger King making me sign a release form?"
2. "Should I wait til they come out with the 'Quint Stacker'?"
1. "Do I have my cardiologist on speed dial?"
