Saturday, August 26, 2006
Late Nite Jokes
Letterman
It’s a sad time of the year. Summer is coming to an end. Mel Gibson blames it on the Jews.
This weekend in Los Angeles, California it’s the Emmy Awards. I’m not going this year. Last year was embarrassing. William Shatner and I showed up wearing the same toupee.
I’ve been nominated for an award. I’m actually up against Regis Philbin. The category is "oldest host”.
Regis actually has a birthday this weekend. Regis has been in television for a long time. I don’t want to say how old he is but his first show was "The Colonies Have Talent”.
I don’t want to say Regis is old but his first co-host was Eve.
Over in Baghdad, Saddam’s second trial is under way. I sure hope this one goes as well as the first. In this trial his buddy Chemical Ali is being tried too. I saw some of it on TV. It was good to see Chemical Ali’s wife there. Her name is Betty Ali.
President Bush finally has an exit plan for Iraq. In a few years he’ll leave office and let the next guy worry about it.
On this day in 1900 the devastating Galveston hurricane took place. Over $50 million in damages. Don’t worry though…FEMA is on the way.
Conan
The results of a new study are out this week saying that New Jersey is one of the most livable states in the country. The study has a margin of error of 100 percent.
President Bush was down in New Orleans this week. He flew back today. He said, "I had to get the hell out. Those levees are not safe!”
David Hasselhoff was arrested for driving under the influence. Cops thought Hasselhoff could be under the influence when they noticed his talking car was slurring its words
Letterman
It’s a sad time of the year. Summer is coming to an end. Mel Gibson blames it on the Jews.
This weekend in Los Angeles, California it’s the Emmy Awards. I’m not going this year. Last year was embarrassing. William Shatner and I showed up wearing the same toupee.
I’ve been nominated for an award. I’m actually up against Regis Philbin. The category is "oldest host”.
Regis actually has a birthday this weekend. Regis has been in television for a long time. I don’t want to say how old he is but his first show was "The Colonies Have Talent”.
I don’t want to say Regis is old but his first co-host was Eve.
Over in Baghdad, Saddam’s second trial is under way. I sure hope this one goes as well as the first. In this trial his buddy Chemical Ali is being tried too. I saw some of it on TV. It was good to see Chemical Ali’s wife there. Her name is Betty Ali.
President Bush finally has an exit plan for Iraq. In a few years he’ll leave office and let the next guy worry about it.
On this day in 1900 the devastating Galveston hurricane took place. Over $50 million in damages. Don’t worry though…FEMA is on the way.
Conan
The results of a new study are out this week saying that New Jersey is one of the most livable states in the country. The study has a margin of error of 100 percent.
President Bush was down in New Orleans this week. He flew back today. He said, "I had to get the hell out. Those levees are not safe!”
David Hasselhoff was arrested for driving under the influence. Cops thought Hasselhoff could be under the influence when they noticed his talking car was slurring its words
