Thursday, August 10, 2006
Late Nite Jokes
Leno
Here is some wonderful news. Doctors in Utah were able to successfully separate those conjoined twins. But sadly in Connecticut they were unable to successfully separate Joe Lieberman from President Bush.
Senator Joe Lieberman lost his own parties nomination yesterday. He was beaten by new comer Ned Lamont. Or you know him as "Who?” Wasn’t that Fred Sanford’s son?
And to his credit, he was just as dull in defeat as he would have been in victory.
Give you an idea how bad Lieberman got beaten, even Mel Gibson was feeling sorry for him.
Iran announced today that it cloned a sheep. They plan to use the sheep to pull the wool over the U.N.’s eyes.
President Bush ruled out sending troops to Lebanon. Know what that means, they don't have oil.
75 hours of video is hitting the internet of O.J. Simpson's day-to-day life. During one radio interview O.J. calls Oprah dishonest...he's done it now...killing two people is one thing, but taking Oprah's name in vain, you're a dead man!
Paris Hilton is now claiming she will remain celibate for 365 days. Oh, not in a row…over the course of her lifetime.
NBC is considering adding another hour to the today show. Making it now 17 hours long. It will just go to day and then right into tonight.
Conan
Floyd Landis said the reason he failed the drug test was that he accidentally ingested testosterone from another source. So he ate Barry Bonds.
President Bush is currently reading a book about President Lincoln – or as he calls him, "the guy on the pennies”.
Leno
Here is some wonderful news. Doctors in Utah were able to successfully separate those conjoined twins. But sadly in Connecticut they were unable to successfully separate Joe Lieberman from President Bush.
Senator Joe Lieberman lost his own parties nomination yesterday. He was beaten by new comer Ned Lamont. Or you know him as "Who?” Wasn’t that Fred Sanford’s son?
And to his credit, he was just as dull in defeat as he would have been in victory.
Give you an idea how bad Lieberman got beaten, even Mel Gibson was feeling sorry for him.
Iran announced today that it cloned a sheep. They plan to use the sheep to pull the wool over the U.N.’s eyes.
President Bush ruled out sending troops to Lebanon. Know what that means, they don't have oil.
75 hours of video is hitting the internet of O.J. Simpson's day-to-day life. During one radio interview O.J. calls Oprah dishonest...he's done it now...killing two people is one thing, but taking Oprah's name in vain, you're a dead man!
Paris Hilton is now claiming she will remain celibate for 365 days. Oh, not in a row…over the course of her lifetime.
NBC is considering adding another hour to the today show. Making it now 17 hours long. It will just go to day and then right into tonight.
Conan
Floyd Landis said the reason he failed the drug test was that he accidentally ingested testosterone from another source. So he ate Barry Bonds.
President Bush is currently reading a book about President Lincoln – or as he calls him, "the guy on the pennies”.
