Saturday, July 15, 2006
Late Nite Jokes
Leno
It was so hot today, Ann Coulter was insulting Eskimo widows.
104 degrees today. Even Hillary Clinton looked hot today.
President Bush getting on the Al Gore bandwagon. He told "People” magazine he’s working on a solution for global warming. I don’t think he really understands it. What he says was, when it comes to global warming he has been burning the midnight oil.
Oil has hit a new all time high. It’s over $76 a barrel. They say it could go much higher in the event of trouble in the Middle East. Thank God we haven’t had any of that.
Speaking of that, a Fox News crew has been shot at on live television after they revealed detailed information about Israeli troop movements. Now we are not hundred percent sure who did the shooting but it stopped as soon as they found out Geraldo was not there.
Beirut, Lebanon is L.A’s sister city. Did you know that? That’s true! Well sure, it’s the hot desert with foreign speaking people and nonstop gunfire. It’s the perfect match.
I don’t know if this is a coincidence or not but, Ken Lay died last week. And today hell filed for bankruptcy.
Letterman
President Bush has a new plan to fight global warming. We’re going to invade the sun.
Michael Jackson is going to move to Ireland. He’s already found a cottage in a small village known as Glenn Creepy.
He’s already being sued by a leprechaun.
Conan
Today the Vatican condemned Israel’s attacks on Hezbollah. Which was a good thing because all yesterday Jews and Muslims worldwide were asking what do the Catholics think?
Russia is going to start taking care of nuclear waste from other countries. Their goal is to be the New Jersey of Europe.
Leno
It was so hot today, Ann Coulter was insulting Eskimo widows.
104 degrees today. Even Hillary Clinton looked hot today.
President Bush getting on the Al Gore bandwagon. He told "People” magazine he’s working on a solution for global warming. I don’t think he really understands it. What he says was, when it comes to global warming he has been burning the midnight oil.
Oil has hit a new all time high. It’s over $76 a barrel. They say it could go much higher in the event of trouble in the Middle East. Thank God we haven’t had any of that.
Speaking of that, a Fox News crew has been shot at on live television after they revealed detailed information about Israeli troop movements. Now we are not hundred percent sure who did the shooting but it stopped as soon as they found out Geraldo was not there.
Beirut, Lebanon is L.A’s sister city. Did you know that? That’s true! Well sure, it’s the hot desert with foreign speaking people and nonstop gunfire. It’s the perfect match.
I don’t know if this is a coincidence or not but, Ken Lay died last week. And today hell filed for bankruptcy.
Letterman
President Bush has a new plan to fight global warming. We’re going to invade the sun.
Michael Jackson is going to move to Ireland. He’s already found a cottage in a small village known as Glenn Creepy.
He’s already being sued by a leprechaun.
Conan
Today the Vatican condemned Israel’s attacks on Hezbollah. Which was a good thing because all yesterday Jews and Muslims worldwide were asking what do the Catholics think?
Russia is going to start taking care of nuclear waste from other countries. Their goal is to be the New Jersey of Europe.
