Thursday, July 20, 2006
Late Nite Jokes
Leno
It was so hot up in Oregon, Bigfoot was seen getting a bikini wax.
It was so hot the grand slam breakfast I got today at Denny’s was still warm when it arrived.
Earlier today President Bush vetoed funding for stem cell research. But I don't know if he gets it. Bush said stem cells may be dangerous especially if people talk on them while driving.
A lot of people were complaining today about how long it’s taking to evacuate Americans from Lebanon. Lebanon? Hey, we couldn’t even evacuate Americans from New Orleans.
People still talking about President Bush’s use of a four letter word at the G8 Summit. Is that really a big deal? Now if Bush was to use a four syllable word…I think that would be…
This week in a speech Vice President Dick Cheney said that either we are serious about this war or we’re not. Of course people weren’t sure if he meant the war in Iraq, the war in Afghanistan, or the war against people who disagree with him.
Business analysts say that McDonald's is doing really well lately because Americans have to spend more money on gas so they're going to McDonald’s rather than more expensive restaurants. So basically, as Americans have to spend more for oil they're looking to pay less for grease.
Letterman
President Bush is back from the G8 Summit. He said he got a lot of ---- done.
Basically the leaders at the G8 decided to make a desperate plea to Superman.
President Bush had a number of gaffes at the summit. At one point he was seen giving a neck rub to the German Chancellor. You know what this means – he’s drinking again.
Pamela Anderson and Kid Rock are getting married. They are going to be living in Malibu in a $10 million trailer.
They are getting married on a yacht. Pamela not only will be a bride but also a flotation device.
Leno
It was so hot up in Oregon, Bigfoot was seen getting a bikini wax.
It was so hot the grand slam breakfast I got today at Denny’s was still warm when it arrived.
Earlier today President Bush vetoed funding for stem cell research. But I don't know if he gets it. Bush said stem cells may be dangerous especially if people talk on them while driving.
A lot of people were complaining today about how long it’s taking to evacuate Americans from Lebanon. Lebanon? Hey, we couldn’t even evacuate Americans from New Orleans.
People still talking about President Bush’s use of a four letter word at the G8 Summit. Is that really a big deal? Now if Bush was to use a four syllable word…I think that would be…
This week in a speech Vice President Dick Cheney said that either we are serious about this war or we’re not. Of course people weren’t sure if he meant the war in Iraq, the war in Afghanistan, or the war against people who disagree with him.
Business analysts say that McDonald's is doing really well lately because Americans have to spend more money on gas so they're going to McDonald’s rather than more expensive restaurants. So basically, as Americans have to spend more for oil they're looking to pay less for grease.
Letterman
President Bush is back from the G8 Summit. He said he got a lot of ---- done.
Basically the leaders at the G8 decided to make a desperate plea to Superman.
President Bush had a number of gaffes at the summit. At one point he was seen giving a neck rub to the German Chancellor. You know what this means – he’s drinking again.
Pamela Anderson and Kid Rock are getting married. They are going to be living in Malibu in a $10 million trailer.
They are getting married on a yacht. Pamela not only will be a bride but also a flotation device.
