Saturday, June 24, 2006
Late Nite Jokes
Leno
What a crowd. You sound like congress after voting themselves a pay raise while voting against raising the minimum wage. Turns out congress gave itself a big raise this week and voted against the minimum raise. Which is kind of ironic, because if anyone should be getting minimum wage it’s congress.
It was so hot today Dick Cheney looked in the mirror just to get his own cold stare.
It was so hot people were standing along the border of North Korea just to catch the breeze coming off the missiles going by.
The U.S. finally has an exit strategy. Unfortunately, it’s for the world cup.
The U.S. soccer team is out of the world cup after a 2-1 loss to Ghana...and today, an angry John Kerry demanded we pull all our soccer players out of Germany.
For years they have been saying that because soccer is so popular in Europe one day it will be popular here too. Yeah, that worked out so well with the metric system.
The government of Afghanistan has sent a letter to the news stations and journalist ordering them to report only favorable news about the government. Which I know sounds harsh, but you have to remember they don’t have Fox News over there.
Congratulations to Phil Mickelson. He actually got a hole in one today. Although it was two golf courses over from the one he was playing at. We love Phil.
Letterman
President Bush says that he wakes up at 5:00 AM and gets Laura a cup of coffee. He has to tip toe softly though because Dick Cheney keeps a gun under his pillow.
Scientists are saying that in the future we will be able to have sex with robots. I tried that once. It was
Leno
What a crowd. You sound like congress after voting themselves a pay raise while voting against raising the minimum wage. Turns out congress gave itself a big raise this week and voted against the minimum raise. Which is kind of ironic, because if anyone should be getting minimum wage it’s congress.
It was so hot today Dick Cheney looked in the mirror just to get his own cold stare.
It was so hot people were standing along the border of North Korea just to catch the breeze coming off the missiles going by.
The U.S. finally has an exit strategy. Unfortunately, it’s for the world cup.
The U.S. soccer team is out of the world cup after a 2-1 loss to Ghana...and today, an angry John Kerry demanded we pull all our soccer players out of Germany.
For years they have been saying that because soccer is so popular in Europe one day it will be popular here too. Yeah, that worked out so well with the metric system.
The government of Afghanistan has sent a letter to the news stations and journalist ordering them to report only favorable news about the government. Which I know sounds harsh, but you have to remember they don’t have Fox News over there.
Congratulations to Phil Mickelson. He actually got a hole in one today. Although it was two golf courses over from the one he was playing at. We love Phil.
Letterman
President Bush says that he wakes up at 5:00 AM and gets Laura a cup of coffee. He has to tip toe softly though because Dick Cheney keeps a gun under his pillow.
Scientists are saying that in the future we will be able to have sex with robots. I tried that once. It was
