Saturday, June 10, 2006
Late Nite Jokes
Leno
Remember how President Bush promised to create jobs. Today he announced the latest job opening he created. The head of al Qaeda in Iraq. There’s an opening.
That’s the big story. Now that we’ve killed Zarqawi, the question everyone’s asking is: who will be the next al Qaeda leader? Boy that sounds like a bad reality show on al Jazeera doesn’t it? "Who Will Be The Next al Qaeda Leader? Akmed…come on down!”
Do you know how they pick the al Qaeda leaders? It’s interesting; the job will go to the next guy with the most z’s and q’s in his name.
U.S. forces said they learned where Zarqawi was staying by following his spiritual advisor. He had a spiritual advisor. And what a great job he was doing huh? I think the last spiritual advice he gave him was, start praying and kiss your ass goodbye.
More problems with Zarqawi. You know how they believe when you get to heaven you get 72 virgins. Turns out he wound up in hell with one 72-year-old virgin.
Have you heard about this? Hillary Clinton is furious at writer Ann Coulter for attacking the 9/11 widows. This is the maddest Hillary’s ever been at a woman that’s not currently sleeping with her husband.
Fans of the show "24” got exciting news is week. Plans are underway for a movie based on the show. That’ll be cool, sitting in a theater for 24 hours. "Give me the large popcorn and a box of Depends please.”
According to a recent study, my home state of Massachusetts, have some of the worst drivers in the nation. In fairness to Massachusetts we do have the Kennedy’s. It throws the curve way off. Get them out of there and we are pretty good.
Leno
Remember how President Bush promised to create jobs. Today he announced the latest job opening he created. The head of al Qaeda in Iraq. There’s an opening.
That’s the big story. Now that we’ve killed Zarqawi, the question everyone’s asking is: who will be the next al Qaeda leader? Boy that sounds like a bad reality show on al Jazeera doesn’t it? "Who Will Be The Next al Qaeda Leader? Akmed…come on down!”
Do you know how they pick the al Qaeda leaders? It’s interesting; the job will go to the next guy with the most z’s and q’s in his name.
U.S. forces said they learned where Zarqawi was staying by following his spiritual advisor. He had a spiritual advisor. And what a great job he was doing huh? I think the last spiritual advice he gave him was, start praying and kiss your ass goodbye.
More problems with Zarqawi. You know how they believe when you get to heaven you get 72 virgins. Turns out he wound up in hell with one 72-year-old virgin.
Have you heard about this? Hillary Clinton is furious at writer Ann Coulter for attacking the 9/11 widows. This is the maddest Hillary’s ever been at a woman that’s not currently sleeping with her husband.
Fans of the show "24” got exciting news is week. Plans are underway for a movie based on the show. That’ll be cool, sitting in a theater for 24 hours. "Give me the large popcorn and a box of Depends please.”
According to a recent study, my home state of Massachusetts, have some of the worst drivers in the nation. In fairness to Massachusetts we do have the Kennedy’s. It throws the curve way off. Get them out of there and we are pretty good.
