Wednesday, May 17, 2006
Late Nite Jokes
Leno
What a crowd. You sound like a bunch of National Guard troops who just found out they are going to San Diego instead of Baghdad.
As you know, President Bush announced a big change in our immigration policy. He's going to get one.
President Bush is proposing sending six thousands National Guard troops to bolster patrols along the U.S.-Mexican border. Or as his calling it, "No Juan Left Behind."
President Bush said, "You can't take millions of people with deep roots in the country and send them across the border.” Really? Mexico did it.
President Bush said that these troops will be at the border temporarily. You know, just until Mexico is ready to govern itself. Sound familiar?
A British scientist has built a car he claims can get 8,000 miles on a gallon of gas. And today, Dick Cheney invited this guy to go hunting with him.
Letterman
We here at the "Late Show” have been nominated for a Tony Award. It’s the same thing we always get nominated for – biggest waste of a Broadway theater
Talk about an ordeal. Yesterday Senator Ted Kennedy was on an aircraft up here in the northeast and it was hit by lightning. They landed, luckily no one was hurt. But then he had to ride home from the airport with his son Patrick.
Did you know O.J. Simpson now has his own show? It’s a prank type show like "Punk’d” where he plays pranks on people. Because when you think of hilarious pranks you think O.J.!
Conan
Barry Bonds says that he is haunted by the ghost of Babe Ruth. Then someone let him know that the "boos” he is hearing are not from a ghost.
Leno
What a crowd. You sound like a bunch of National Guard troops who just found out they are going to San Diego instead of Baghdad.
As you know, President Bush announced a big change in our immigration policy. He's going to get one.
President Bush is proposing sending six thousands National Guard troops to bolster patrols along the U.S.-Mexican border. Or as his calling it, "No Juan Left Behind."
President Bush said, "You can't take millions of people with deep roots in the country and send them across the border.” Really? Mexico did it.
President Bush said that these troops will be at the border temporarily. You know, just until Mexico is ready to govern itself. Sound familiar?
A British scientist has built a car he claims can get 8,000 miles on a gallon of gas. And today, Dick Cheney invited this guy to go hunting with him.
Letterman
We here at the "Late Show” have been nominated for a Tony Award. It’s the same thing we always get nominated for – biggest waste of a Broadway theater
Talk about an ordeal. Yesterday Senator Ted Kennedy was on an aircraft up here in the northeast and it was hit by lightning. They landed, luckily no one was hurt. But then he had to ride home from the airport with his son Patrick.
Did you know O.J. Simpson now has his own show? It’s a prank type show like "Punk’d” where he plays pranks on people. Because when you think of hilarious pranks you think O.J.!
Conan
Barry Bonds says that he is haunted by the ghost of Babe Ruth. Then someone let him know that the "boos” he is hearing are not from a ghost.
