Friday, May 12, 2006
Late Nite Jokes
Leno
Well folks, just 72 hours until Mother's Day. Are you ready? I tell you this Mother's Day is a real dilemma for a lot of people. I mean do you spend the $100 to get mom the dozen roses or use the $100 to fill up the gas to drive over and see mom?
You know mother's day also the busiest long distance phone calling day of the year? Over 300 million long distance calls. And those are just the ones being monitored by the White House.
In an interview on Florida television President Bush said he would like to see his brother Jeb become president. Hey, great campaign slogan, "Jeb Bush - couldn't do any worse."
President Bush’s approval rating is at an all time low of 31%. To give you an idea how bad it is. If Bush could run again in the next presidential election he would lose to the bird flu.
The president of Iran wrote a letter to President Bush. Did you know about this? And its seemed that's caused some problems. Turns out, it's a chain letter. Now Bush now has to send to ten other world leaders. Or there's some kind of curse. We got suckered into that one.
FEMA has closed their office in New Orleans. I guess they wanna get out of there before hurricane season hits.
According to a new study released this week, in the last 10 years, oral sex among teenagers has doubled. So who says there's no Clinton legacy?
Letterman
Summer is just around the corner. Dick Cheney accidentally hurt a guy in a fishing accident.
The House of Representatives just passed a bill, a $70 billion tax cut on capital gains. This is called the "no millionaire left behind act”.
Conan
United Airlines might be leaving the city of Chicago. The good news is that they will be leaving from O’Hare so they will not depart for another six years.
Leno
Well folks, just 72 hours until Mother's Day. Are you ready? I tell you this Mother's Day is a real dilemma for a lot of people. I mean do you spend the $100 to get mom the dozen roses or use the $100 to fill up the gas to drive over and see mom?
You know mother's day also the busiest long distance phone calling day of the year? Over 300 million long distance calls. And those are just the ones being monitored by the White House.
In an interview on Florida television President Bush said he would like to see his brother Jeb become president. Hey, great campaign slogan, "Jeb Bush - couldn't do any worse."
President Bush’s approval rating is at an all time low of 31%. To give you an idea how bad it is. If Bush could run again in the next presidential election he would lose to the bird flu.
The president of Iran wrote a letter to President Bush. Did you know about this? And its seemed that's caused some problems. Turns out, it's a chain letter. Now Bush now has to send to ten other world leaders. Or there's some kind of curse. We got suckered into that one.
FEMA has closed their office in New Orleans. I guess they wanna get out of there before hurricane season hits.
According to a new study released this week, in the last 10 years, oral sex among teenagers has doubled. So who says there's no Clinton legacy?
Letterman
Summer is just around the corner. Dick Cheney accidentally hurt a guy in a fishing accident.
The House of Representatives just passed a bill, a $70 billion tax cut on capital gains. This is called the "no millionaire left behind act”.
Conan
United Airlines might be leaving the city of Chicago. The good news is that they will be leaving from O’Hare so they will not depart for another six years.
