Tuesday, May 16, 2006
Late Nite Jokes
Leno
President Bush talked to the nation in a prime time address tonight. Which was a refreshing change. Americans listening to the president. Instead of the president listening to Americans.
In the speech he outlined a plan to start patrolling the U.S.-Mexican border using members of the National Guard. He said this will give us the most secure border in the world one weekend a month and two full weeks each summer.
This replaces the old method of border security. The honor system. That didn't seem to be working.
According to a new Harris poll, President Bush's approval rating is now at 29%. In fact it is so bad, yesterday on Mother's Day Barbara Bush refused to take his call. "Let the machine pick up."
Here’s the part that I don't understand. The day before it was at 31%. Now it's 29%. What happened overnight? People didn't like the way he slept?
Boy, it (gas) just keeps going up doesn't it? In fact, the price of gas is so high now that today Congressman Patrick Kennedy walked into concrete barriers.
The British Dental Association has reported there is a dentist shortage in England. Which is not surprising. I'm surprised there's British Dental Association.
NBC aired their last episode of "The West Wing". It ended last night. We're not worried about losing west wing. We have another show that's much closer to the real president. It's "My Name is Earl."
Kenny Rogers was on Martha Stewart the other day. She was showing Kenny how just using some string, Vaseline and duct tape, you can make your own facelift.
Leno
President Bush talked to the nation in a prime time address tonight. Which was a refreshing change. Americans listening to the president. Instead of the president listening to Americans.
In the speech he outlined a plan to start patrolling the U.S.-Mexican border using members of the National Guard. He said this will give us the most secure border in the world one weekend a month and two full weeks each summer.
This replaces the old method of border security. The honor system. That didn't seem to be working.
According to a new Harris poll, President Bush's approval rating is now at 29%. In fact it is so bad, yesterday on Mother's Day Barbara Bush refused to take his call. "Let the machine pick up."
Here’s the part that I don't understand. The day before it was at 31%. Now it's 29%. What happened overnight? People didn't like the way he slept?
Boy, it (gas) just keeps going up doesn't it? In fact, the price of gas is so high now that today Congressman Patrick Kennedy walked into concrete barriers.
The British Dental Association has reported there is a dentist shortage in England. Which is not surprising. I'm surprised there's British Dental Association.
NBC aired their last episode of "The West Wing". It ended last night. We're not worried about losing west wing. We have another show that's much closer to the real president. It's "My Name is Earl."
Kenny Rogers was on Martha Stewart the other day. She was showing Kenny how just using some string, Vaseline and duct tape, you can make your own facelift.
