Wednesday, May 10, 2006
Late Nite Jokes
Leno
I saw something very disturbing coming into work this morning on the freeway. A van coming from Mexico, 45 people crammed inside it. They weren't illegals, its just gas is so expensive they were carpooling.
The good news, OPEC lowered its price to just under $70 a barrel. The bad news, that's just for the barrel.
The price of gas is getting so high, this morning I saw Patrick Kennedy and Rush Limbaugh carpooling to rehab together. You never see that.
More problems for Congressman Patrick Kennedy after his car accident. According to the police reports he acted disoriented and his speech was slurred. Today he was charged for impersonating Paula Abdul.
In recent memory, only four presidents have had lower approval ratings. The president of Exxon. The president of Chevron. The president of Texaco.
The President of Iran has written a letter to President Bush. Among other things, the Iranian president attacked Bush's policies, said democracy was a failure, and claimed America is hated all over the world. Ended the letter by calling America the "Great Satan”, but other than that it was a nice letter...at least they're talking and I think that's important.
Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice dismissed the letter right off. Donald Rumsfeld said he's investigating the letter and the CIA said, "We got a letter from Iran? When?"
Conan
The San Francisco Giants Barry Bonds is just one home run away from a tie with Babe Ruth’s home run record. Babe once called his shot into the right field stands. Barry today called his shot into his right butt cheek.
Leno
I saw something very disturbing coming into work this morning on the freeway. A van coming from Mexico, 45 people crammed inside it. They weren't illegals, its just gas is so expensive they were carpooling.
The good news, OPEC lowered its price to just under $70 a barrel. The bad news, that's just for the barrel.
The price of gas is getting so high, this morning I saw Patrick Kennedy and Rush Limbaugh carpooling to rehab together. You never see that.
More problems for Congressman Patrick Kennedy after his car accident. According to the police reports he acted disoriented and his speech was slurred. Today he was charged for impersonating Paula Abdul.
In recent memory, only four presidents have had lower approval ratings. The president of Exxon. The president of Chevron. The president of Texaco.
The President of Iran has written a letter to President Bush. Among other things, the Iranian president attacked Bush's policies, said democracy was a failure, and claimed America is hated all over the world. Ended the letter by calling America the "Great Satan”, but other than that it was a nice letter...at least they're talking and I think that's important.
Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice dismissed the letter right off. Donald Rumsfeld said he's investigating the letter and the CIA said, "We got a letter from Iran? When?"
Conan
The San Francisco Giants Barry Bonds is just one home run away from a tie with Babe Ruth’s home run record. Babe once called his shot into the right field stands. Barry today called his shot into his right butt cheek.
