Saturday, May 20, 2006
Late Nite Jokes
Leno
I had a strange thing happened yesterday. My cat got out and started digging in the backyard. Found Jimmy Hoffa.
The FBI is searching on a farm in Michigan for the body of Jimmy Hoffa. They want to find Hoffa before Anna Nicole Smith does.
The Pentagon announced today that Iraq’s border is now 90% under control. Which is pretty impressive when you realize that San Diego’s border is only 20% under control.
Immigration continues to be the big story. President Bush is insisting it would be cruel to take a hardworking person reaching for the American dream and just send them home. Hey "American Idol” does it every week.
President Bush went to the border yesterday in Arizona. White House Spokesman Tony Snow said it was not a photo opportunity. Apparently Bush was just looking for some guys to do some landscaping around the White House.
The president is serious about border enforcement. In fact before leaving the border Bush left a scarecrow of Dick Cheney with a shotgun.
President Bush said today that he has nothing but respect for Mexico and it’s people and he will always speak the truth to them. Here’s my question, when can we get that deal? That sounds pretty good.
The Senate has voted to make English the national language. More bad news for President Bush. Now he’s got to learn that.
The Senate voted 63-34 to make English the official language of the United States. They say it's a largely symbolic amendment with no real effect. You know like the congressional ethics bill.
A realtor in Ogden, Utah inspecting a townhouse found 70,000 empty beer cans left behind by the former tenant. I didn’t know the Kennedy’s had a place in Utah.
Leno
I had a strange thing happened yesterday. My cat got out and started digging in the backyard. Found Jimmy Hoffa.
The FBI is searching on a farm in Michigan for the body of Jimmy Hoffa. They want to find Hoffa before Anna Nicole Smith does.
The Pentagon announced today that Iraq’s border is now 90% under control. Which is pretty impressive when you realize that San Diego’s border is only 20% under control.
Immigration continues to be the big story. President Bush is insisting it would be cruel to take a hardworking person reaching for the American dream and just send them home. Hey "American Idol” does it every week.
President Bush went to the border yesterday in Arizona. White House Spokesman Tony Snow said it was not a photo opportunity. Apparently Bush was just looking for some guys to do some landscaping around the White House.
The president is serious about border enforcement. In fact before leaving the border Bush left a scarecrow of Dick Cheney with a shotgun.
President Bush said today that he has nothing but respect for Mexico and it’s people and he will always speak the truth to them. Here’s my question, when can we get that deal? That sounds pretty good.
The Senate has voted to make English the national language. More bad news for President Bush. Now he’s got to learn that.
The Senate voted 63-34 to make English the official language of the United States. They say it's a largely symbolic amendment with no real effect. You know like the congressional ethics bill.
A realtor in Ogden, Utah inspecting a townhouse found 70,000 empty beer cans left behind by the former tenant. I didn’t know the Kennedy’s had a place in Utah.
