Wednesday, May 24, 2006
Late Nite Jokes
Leno
How is this for amazing? A seven year old boy named Braxton Bilbrey has become the youngest person ever to swim from Alcatraz Island to San Francisco. He broke the old record set by Elian Gonzalez.
Louisiana Congressman, William Jefferson…wasn’t he married to Wheezy? Is that the same guy? He was videotaped accepting a 100,000 dollar bribe, said he will not resign even though FBI agents found 90,000 of it in his freezer. In Washington, that’s known as a "bribe-sicle”.
This has really unified both parties, House Speaker Dennis Hastert has attacked the FBI for raiding the congressman’s office saying it was an abuse of power. Imagine the nerve of the FBI-treating members of congress like they were regular Americans.
Today the Republicans say the raid may have violated protections for congressmen that are spelled out in the constitution. All of sudden they've found a copy! Where was this when they were spying on our phone calls?
Vice President Dick Cheney is in California to try and boost the campaigns of several Republican candidates out here. Wow - how low are you in the polls that you have to turn to Dick Cheney to bring your numbers up?
Cheney says he loves California - out here the rich and famous can shoot people and get away with it.
Here’s a shocking statistic, 1 in 136 Americans are currently behind bars. A more shocking statistic, 1 in 3 Kennedy’s are currently in a bar.
Catholics still continuing to protest over the movie "The Da Vinci Code.” In fact, some priests are so angry they are refusing to take their alter boys to see it.
Leno
How is this for amazing? A seven year old boy named Braxton Bilbrey has become the youngest person ever to swim from Alcatraz Island to San Francisco. He broke the old record set by Elian Gonzalez.
Louisiana Congressman, William Jefferson…wasn’t he married to Wheezy? Is that the same guy? He was videotaped accepting a 100,000 dollar bribe, said he will not resign even though FBI agents found 90,000 of it in his freezer. In Washington, that’s known as a "bribe-sicle”.
This has really unified both parties, House Speaker Dennis Hastert has attacked the FBI for raiding the congressman’s office saying it was an abuse of power. Imagine the nerve of the FBI-treating members of congress like they were regular Americans.
Today the Republicans say the raid may have violated protections for congressmen that are spelled out in the constitution. All of sudden they've found a copy! Where was this when they were spying on our phone calls?
Vice President Dick Cheney is in California to try and boost the campaigns of several Republican candidates out here. Wow - how low are you in the polls that you have to turn to Dick Cheney to bring your numbers up?
Cheney says he loves California - out here the rich and famous can shoot people and get away with it.
Here’s a shocking statistic, 1 in 136 Americans are currently behind bars. A more shocking statistic, 1 in 3 Kennedy’s are currently in a bar.
Catholics still continuing to protest over the movie "The Da Vinci Code.” In fact, some priests are so angry they are refusing to take their alter boys to see it.
