Tuesday, March 28, 2006
Late Nite Jokes
Leno
Welcome to the "Tonight Show”. It's refreshing to see a crowd gathered in L.A. that's not an immigration protest.
This past weekend there were half a million illegal immigrants on the streets of Los Angeles. And that was before the protest march. That was Friday.
Over a half a million people gathered. It looked like career day over at Wal-Mart.
The cover story of this week's "Time” magazine is about global warming. It's pretty frightening story. They say if current warming trends continue, by the year 2015, Hillary Clinton may actually thaw out.
In women's NCAA semifinal games, the Connecticut Lady Huskies beat the Georgia Lady Bulldogs 77-75. Lady Huskies and Lady Bulldogs - it sounds like clothes sizes at Lane Bryant.
Letterman
Sunday Major League Baseball is back! Barry Bonds says that his life is in shambles. Which is interesting because right on the side of the bottle of steroids there’s a warning that says, "May cause shambles.”
Are you watching the Senate debate on immigration? Every time "undocumented worker” is said Ted Kennedy takes a shot of tequila.
June 1st is the start of the hurricane season. The National Weather Service says it will be another busy season. President Bush is already busy stockpiling excuses.
Andrew Card has resigned. Finally someone in the Bush administration with an exit strategy.
President Bush actually gave Card two choices. One, resign. Two, go hunting with Dick Cheney.
Conan
Today President Bush personally swore in 30 immigrants becoming American citizens. There was one awkward moment when President Bush said, "You may kiss the bride.”
Leno
Welcome to the "Tonight Show”. It's refreshing to see a crowd gathered in L.A. that's not an immigration protest.
This past weekend there were half a million illegal immigrants on the streets of Los Angeles. And that was before the protest march. That was Friday.
Over a half a million people gathered. It looked like career day over at Wal-Mart.
The cover story of this week's "Time” magazine is about global warming. It's pretty frightening story. They say if current warming trends continue, by the year 2015, Hillary Clinton may actually thaw out.
In women's NCAA semifinal games, the Connecticut Lady Huskies beat the Georgia Lady Bulldogs 77-75. Lady Huskies and Lady Bulldogs - it sounds like clothes sizes at Lane Bryant.
Letterman
Sunday Major League Baseball is back! Barry Bonds says that his life is in shambles. Which is interesting because right on the side of the bottle of steroids there’s a warning that says, "May cause shambles.”
Are you watching the Senate debate on immigration? Every time "undocumented worker” is said Ted Kennedy takes a shot of tequila.
June 1st is the start of the hurricane season. The National Weather Service says it will be another busy season. President Bush is already busy stockpiling excuses.
Andrew Card has resigned. Finally someone in the Bush administration with an exit strategy.
President Bush actually gave Card two choices. One, resign. Two, go hunting with Dick Cheney.
Conan
Today President Bush personally swore in 30 immigrants becoming American citizens. There was one awkward moment when President Bush said, "You may kiss the bride.”
