Thursday, March 2, 2006
Late Nite Jokes
Leno
Today is Ash Wednesday. Which marks the beginning of Lent. You know what President Bush is giving up for Lent? Our seaports.
President Bush, talking about the port deal, he said we Americans have nothing to fear from the Dubai government running our ports. I know a good way for President Bush to convince everyone of that - let the Dubai government handle his security. Hey if it's good enough for us, it should be good enough for him.
President Bush made a surprise stop in Afghanistan today on his way to India. He didn’t want to. He bought his ticket on priceline.com.
He was only in Afghanistan for four hours. That may not sound like much, but it's more time than he spent in the Texas National Guard.
The forecast this week is a high of 34 and a low of 18. Be enough about the White House approval ratings.
President Bush’s approval rating has fallen to an all time low of 34%. In fact, his ratings are so low his new secret service code name is "NBC.”
Jason Lee is on the show tonight from "My Name is Earl”. He’s that really rare kind of actor. The kind that actually has a hit on NBC.
Letterman
It’s the beginning of Lent and Bode Miller has given up gold, silver and bronze.
Condoleezza Rice down in Washington had her workout at a gym taped for a show. She does a Republican workout. She bench presses bags of laundered cash.
She’s in great shape though. She tosses a medicine ball back and forth with Dick Cheney’s lesbian daughter.
Conan
President Bush made a surprise trip overseas today. It was a surprise trip to Afghanistan. He told everyone that we will not cut and run. He then got on Air Force One and left.
President Bush then went to India. He was met with protests there. As a result most Americans spent the day on hold with computer problems.
Leno
Today is Ash Wednesday. Which marks the beginning of Lent. You know what President Bush is giving up for Lent? Our seaports.
President Bush, talking about the port deal, he said we Americans have nothing to fear from the Dubai government running our ports. I know a good way for President Bush to convince everyone of that - let the Dubai government handle his security. Hey if it's good enough for us, it should be good enough for him.
President Bush made a surprise stop in Afghanistan today on his way to India. He didn’t want to. He bought his ticket on priceline.com.
He was only in Afghanistan for four hours. That may not sound like much, but it's more time than he spent in the Texas National Guard.
The forecast this week is a high of 34 and a low of 18. Be enough about the White House approval ratings.
President Bush’s approval rating has fallen to an all time low of 34%. In fact, his ratings are so low his new secret service code name is "NBC.”
Jason Lee is on the show tonight from "My Name is Earl”. He’s that really rare kind of actor. The kind that actually has a hit on NBC.
Letterman
It’s the beginning of Lent and Bode Miller has given up gold, silver and bronze.
Condoleezza Rice down in Washington had her workout at a gym taped for a show. She does a Republican workout. She bench presses bags of laundered cash.
She’s in great shape though. She tosses a medicine ball back and forth with Dick Cheney’s lesbian daughter.
Conan
President Bush made a surprise trip overseas today. It was a surprise trip to Afghanistan. He told everyone that we will not cut and run. He then got on Air Force One and left.
President Bush then went to India. He was met with protests there. As a result most Americans spent the day on hold with computer problems.
