Tuesday, March 14, 2006
Late Nite Jokes
Leno
"The Sopranos” came back last night after a two year absence. I don't know what Tony Soprano has been doing for the last two years off. But I think we can rule out dieting.
How many watched last night? Pretty shocking episode. Tony Soprano got shot by junior. If you think about it, the Soprano’s are a lot like the Bush administration. There are wire taps, people going to jail, and the second in command accidentally shoots his best friend.
You may have heard that new age musician Yanni arrested last week for assaulting his girlfriend. Police are now worried about copy cat crimes. In fact, they have John Tesh and Enya under surveillance.
Senator Russ Feingold, who I believe is running for president, he is from Wisconsin, said over the weekend that he is pushing the senate to censure President Bush for spying. Bush said today that he knew this was coming because he has been listening to Feingold’s calls for the last three months.
Do you know that President Clinton was advising Dubai on the ports deal? He was for it. Ironically, do you know when Dubai pulled out? When they saw Hillary coming.
Last week in L.A. authorities shut down Michael Jackson’s Neverland Ranch. Hey guys, what’s the hurry? You thought FEMA was slow to respond to a crisis. More bad news. You know who bought it? The Catholic Church.
Letterman
Let me ask you a question. Do you think it’s too early to hit on Mrs. Milosevic?
The weather is crazy. It’s been unseasonably warm. It was so warm today that Barry Bonds was injecting himself with iced tea.
The Neverland Ranch has been closed in California. Good to see them nip that in the bud.
Leno
"The Sopranos” came back last night after a two year absence. I don't know what Tony Soprano has been doing for the last two years off. But I think we can rule out dieting.
How many watched last night? Pretty shocking episode. Tony Soprano got shot by junior. If you think about it, the Soprano’s are a lot like the Bush administration. There are wire taps, people going to jail, and the second in command accidentally shoots his best friend.
You may have heard that new age musician Yanni arrested last week for assaulting his girlfriend. Police are now worried about copy cat crimes. In fact, they have John Tesh and Enya under surveillance.
Senator Russ Feingold, who I believe is running for president, he is from Wisconsin, said over the weekend that he is pushing the senate to censure President Bush for spying. Bush said today that he knew this was coming because he has been listening to Feingold’s calls for the last three months.
Do you know that President Clinton was advising Dubai on the ports deal? He was for it. Ironically, do you know when Dubai pulled out? When they saw Hillary coming.
Last week in L.A. authorities shut down Michael Jackson’s Neverland Ranch. Hey guys, what’s the hurry? You thought FEMA was slow to respond to a crisis. More bad news. You know who bought it? The Catholic Church.
Letterman
Let me ask you a question. Do you think it’s too early to hit on Mrs. Milosevic?
The weather is crazy. It’s been unseasonably warm. It was so warm today that Barry Bonds was injecting himself with iced tea.
The Neverland Ranch has been closed in California. Good to see them nip that in the bud.
