Saturday, March 11, 2006
Late Nite Jokes
Leno
A new world record has been set in the 100-yard dash. It was set by Republicans running from President Bush and the Dubai port deal.
As I’m sure you know by now, the United Arab Emirates are out of this port deal. The ports deal is off. In fact, even Republicans called it the worst deal since the Lakers traded Shaq.
To get even with us the United Arab Emirates is talking about not buying any American made products. Looks like we got them there too. We don’t make any products in America anymore.
A congressional panel was told that 24 people have disappeared from cruise ships over a two-year period. And during that same two-year period, 48 people have disappeared after having shows on NBC.
I read some sour grapes about the Oscars today. It seems a writer for "Brokeback Mountain” told the Los Angeles times that he thinks "Crash” only won because it was set in Los Angeles where academy voters live and can identify with it more. Which makes sense. Because, as you know, no one from Hollywood knows anything about being gay. They just can’t relate.
Paris Hilton is out promoting her new CD it won’t be out until June. One of the featured songs is called "Screwed.” Actually, I think this is the first time the video came out a couple years before the song did.
Leno
A new world record has been set in the 100-yard dash. It was set by Republicans running from President Bush and the Dubai port deal.
As I’m sure you know by now, the United Arab Emirates are out of this port deal. The ports deal is off. In fact, even Republicans called it the worst deal since the Lakers traded Shaq.
To get even with us the United Arab Emirates is talking about not buying any American made products. Looks like we got them there too. We don’t make any products in America anymore.
A congressional panel was told that 24 people have disappeared from cruise ships over a two-year period. And during that same two-year period, 48 people have disappeared after having shows on NBC.
I read some sour grapes about the Oscars today. It seems a writer for "Brokeback Mountain” told the Los Angeles times that he thinks "Crash” only won because it was set in Los Angeles where academy voters live and can identify with it more. Which makes sense. Because, as you know, no one from Hollywood knows anything about being gay. They just can’t relate.
Paris Hilton is out promoting her new CD it won’t be out until June. One of the featured songs is called "Screwed.” Actually, I think this is the first time the video came out a couple years before the song did.
