Wednesday, March 8, 2006
Late Nite Jokes
Leno
Here’s something I didn’t know. Did you know that the winners of the best foreign language film this year got an Oscar and one of our seaports.
While I thought Philip Seymour Hoffman was great in "Capote” my choice of best actor didn’t win. I thought it should have gone to the vice president for his role in "When Cheney Shot Harry.”
President Bush is back. He finished up his trip to India. He accomplished all he wanted to accomplish there. He signed a nuclear agreement, he got their pledge to help fight terrorism and he got his laptop fixed.
As you know, the polls not good for President Bush. He’s now got an approval rating of 34%. His lowest ever. In fact, if the presidential election were held today, he would still beat John Kerry.
In his acceptance speech, George Clooney said he was proud to be out of touch. And today, President Bush said, "Hey, me too?”
More problems for Hillary Clinton. The head of New York state’s leading gay rights group describes Hillary Clinton as a disappointment on same sex marriage. Today, her husband bill described her as a disappointment on opposite sex marriage.
Conan
Madison Square Garden will be torn down and a new garden is going to be built. The good news is that it will be torn down during a Knicks game.
Leno
Here’s something I didn’t know. Did you know that the winners of the best foreign language film this year got an Oscar and one of our seaports.
While I thought Philip Seymour Hoffman was great in "Capote” my choice of best actor didn’t win. I thought it should have gone to the vice president for his role in "When Cheney Shot Harry.”
President Bush is back. He finished up his trip to India. He accomplished all he wanted to accomplish there. He signed a nuclear agreement, he got their pledge to help fight terrorism and he got his laptop fixed.
As you know, the polls not good for President Bush. He’s now got an approval rating of 34%. His lowest ever. In fact, if the presidential election were held today, he would still beat John Kerry.
In his acceptance speech, George Clooney said he was proud to be out of touch. And today, President Bush said, "Hey, me too?”
More problems for Hillary Clinton. The head of New York state’s leading gay rights group describes Hillary Clinton as a disappointment on same sex marriage. Today, her husband bill described her as a disappointment on opposite sex marriage.
Conan
Madison Square Garden will be torn down and a new garden is going to be built. The good news is that it will be torn down during a Knicks game.
