Friday, March 10, 2006
Late Nite Jokes
Leno
The Dubai port deal is dead. We got our ports back! Both the Democrats and Republicans agree that this was the dumbest idea since somebody agreed to go hunting with Dick Cheney.
Dubai announced they'll sell ownership of those six American ports to another investor . . . The bad news, it's Iran.
They are calling this the biggest set back for the Bush administration all day.
Bush lost because he didn't have the votes in congress. This is historic. This is the first time Bush has been held back by a lack of votes.
President Bush was in New Orleans yesterday, helping with the reconstruction. He was hammering and sawing on a construction site. Dick Cheney tried to help out too, but accidentally shot a guy with a nail-gun.
Here is a very odd story. A woman in Tennessee is now suing a local pharmacy after buying what she thought were birth control patches. They turned out to be nicotine patches. The good news, her new baby is now down to a half a pack a day.
The number of cigarettes sold in the U.S. has fallen to the lowest level in 55 years. The reason, most smokers are dead!
I guess the Marlboro Man is more interested in gay cowboys than cigarettes.
Conan
A new survey says that New Jersey is the most livable state in the U.S. The survey has a margin of error of 100%.
The makers of "Sesame Street” have decided not to have Russell Crow on as host of the show because he is not a good role model. Crow was disappointed because he wanted to host an episode that was brought to you by the letters F and U.
Leno
The Dubai port deal is dead. We got our ports back! Both the Democrats and Republicans agree that this was the dumbest idea since somebody agreed to go hunting with Dick Cheney.
Dubai announced they'll sell ownership of those six American ports to another investor . . . The bad news, it's Iran.
They are calling this the biggest set back for the Bush administration all day.
Bush lost because he didn't have the votes in congress. This is historic. This is the first time Bush has been held back by a lack of votes.
President Bush was in New Orleans yesterday, helping with the reconstruction. He was hammering and sawing on a construction site. Dick Cheney tried to help out too, but accidentally shot a guy with a nail-gun.
Here is a very odd story. A woman in Tennessee is now suing a local pharmacy after buying what she thought were birth control patches. They turned out to be nicotine patches. The good news, her new baby is now down to a half a pack a day.
The number of cigarettes sold in the U.S. has fallen to the lowest level in 55 years. The reason, most smokers are dead!
I guess the Marlboro Man is more interested in gay cowboys than cigarettes.
Conan
A new survey says that New Jersey is the most livable state in the U.S. The survey has a margin of error of 100%.
The makers of "Sesame Street” have decided not to have Russell Crow on as host of the show because he is not a good role model. Crow was disappointed because he wanted to host an episode that was brought to you by the letters F and U.
