Friday, February 3, 2006
Late Nite Jokes
Leno
In Washington President Bush came out of the white house and saw his shadow… Cindy Sheehan
President Bush also said that the American people are addicted to oil. To which Vice President Dick Cheney said, "Not that there’s anything wrong with that.”
Do you believe we are addicted to oil? So basically when we invaded Iraq, we didn’t really mean anything, it was just the oil talking. We were under the influence of oil at the time.
We just need a 12 step program and we could get out of Iraq.
Hillary Clinton said this week that she doesn't agree with either the people who say we should be in Iraq or her friends who say we should be out. Thanks for clearing that up. Think she’s running for president? Even John Kerry said, "Pick a position!"
Bush spoke about his guest worker program again or as we call it Wal-Mart.
Saddam Hussein boycotted his trial in Bagdad this week. He just refused to come to the courthouse. So what, just so long as he shows up for the execution. That’s all I care about.
Are you all ready for the Super Bowl? I got one of those new big-screen video iPods to watch it on. It’s two and a half inches wide.
Burger King announced plans to sell shares to the public for the first time in their 52 year history. Soon you’ll be able to watch your portfolio expand right along with your ass.
In this week in 1933, Adolph Hitler was named Chancellor of Germany. Thus creating the History Channel.
According to "Daily Variety”, the latest trend now in Hollywood is gay themed movies. In fact, there is one in production now called "Dude, Where’s My Dude?”
Leno
In Washington President Bush came out of the white house and saw his shadow… Cindy Sheehan
President Bush also said that the American people are addicted to oil. To which Vice President Dick Cheney said, "Not that there’s anything wrong with that.”
Do you believe we are addicted to oil? So basically when we invaded Iraq, we didn’t really mean anything, it was just the oil talking. We were under the influence of oil at the time.
We just need a 12 step program and we could get out of Iraq.
Hillary Clinton said this week that she doesn't agree with either the people who say we should be in Iraq or her friends who say we should be out. Thanks for clearing that up. Think she’s running for president? Even John Kerry said, "Pick a position!"
Bush spoke about his guest worker program again or as we call it Wal-Mart.
Saddam Hussein boycotted his trial in Bagdad this week. He just refused to come to the courthouse. So what, just so long as he shows up for the execution. That’s all I care about.
Are you all ready for the Super Bowl? I got one of those new big-screen video iPods to watch it on. It’s two and a half inches wide.
Burger King announced plans to sell shares to the public for the first time in their 52 year history. Soon you’ll be able to watch your portfolio expand right along with your ass.
In this week in 1933, Adolph Hitler was named Chancellor of Germany. Thus creating the History Channel.
According to "Daily Variety”, the latest trend now in Hollywood is gay themed movies. In fact, there is one in production now called "Dude, Where’s My Dude?”
