Wednesday, February 22, 2006
Late Nite Jokes
Leno
Here is just an unbelievable story. The White House has given permission for a company owned by the government of Dubai to run six U.S. ports including New York. Dubai is accused of helping to fund the September 11th attacks. And was one of only three countries to support the Taliban. Now they are going to run the port of New York. What’s next? Are we going to put Mexico in charge of immigration?
What next? Are they going to put Dick Cheney in charge of gun safety?
People are always saying we can’t find bin Laden. You know where I think he is? I think he’s working in the basement of the White House.
Vice President Dick Cheney said today that he’s not sure if he’ll ever go hunting again. Well, if he does decide to go hunting again, good luck finding someone to go with.
Did you hear about this? Miami Dolphins running back Ricky Williams may be suspended for an entire year after he failed the drug test again. This is part of the NFL’s strict 300 strikes and you’re out program.
The word from Fox News is that Prince Abdullah of Bahrain has thrown Michael Jackson out of his palace. Michael Jackson is now homeless in Bahrain. That’s pretty dangerous isn’t it, for a cartoon character to be walking around in a Muslim county. That’s not good right now.
Letterman
This just in. Bode Miller has tested negative for gold medals.
Dick Cheney is on vacation in Wyoming. He needs time to unwind and reload.
Do you like news from the medical science world? A 62 year old woman in California has given birth to her 12th child. They are moving into an orthopedic shoe.
President Bush has a plan that would put an Arab country in charge of several ports. You know if he keeps this up this is the sort of thing that could get people to start questioning his judgment.
An Arab country in charge of ports. That’s like FEMA in charge of disaster relief. That’s like Wayne Gretzky’s wife in charge of your bank account. It’s like Michael Jackson as your nanny.
Leno
Here is just an unbelievable story. The White House has given permission for a company owned by the government of Dubai to run six U.S. ports including New York. Dubai is accused of helping to fund the September 11th attacks. And was one of only three countries to support the Taliban. Now they are going to run the port of New York. What’s next? Are we going to put Mexico in charge of immigration?
What next? Are they going to put Dick Cheney in charge of gun safety?
People are always saying we can’t find bin Laden. You know where I think he is? I think he’s working in the basement of the White House.
Vice President Dick Cheney said today that he’s not sure if he’ll ever go hunting again. Well, if he does decide to go hunting again, good luck finding someone to go with.
Did you hear about this? Miami Dolphins running back Ricky Williams may be suspended for an entire year after he failed the drug test again. This is part of the NFL’s strict 300 strikes and you’re out program.
The word from Fox News is that Prince Abdullah of Bahrain has thrown Michael Jackson out of his palace. Michael Jackson is now homeless in Bahrain. That’s pretty dangerous isn’t it, for a cartoon character to be walking around in a Muslim county. That’s not good right now.
Letterman
This just in. Bode Miller has tested negative for gold medals.
Dick Cheney is on vacation in Wyoming. He needs time to unwind and reload.
Do you like news from the medical science world? A 62 year old woman in California has given birth to her 12th child. They are moving into an orthopedic shoe.
President Bush has a plan that would put an Arab country in charge of several ports. You know if he keeps this up this is the sort of thing that could get people to start questioning his judgment.
An Arab country in charge of ports. That’s like FEMA in charge of disaster relief. That’s like Wayne Gretzky’s wife in charge of your bank account. It’s like Michael Jackson as your nanny.
