Saturday, February 4, 2006
Late Nite Jokes
Leno
For those of you watching at home I will make this short. I know the Super Bowl pre-game show is about to begin.
Are you all excited about the super bowl this weekend? Aretha Franklin will be singing the national anthem. Lets just hope there is no wardrobe malfunction there. Somebody could get killed.
Have you seen the entertainment lineup for Super Bowl XL? It’s Aretha Franklin, Aaron Neville, Stevie Wonder, and the Rolling Stones. Super Bowl? Sounds more like the Senior Bowl doesn’t it?
You can tell it’s Super Bowl weekend. Illegal immigrants are sneaking into the country carrying chips and dip.
This is the biggest week of the year for sports betting. You can bet on anything - the final score, who will score first, who gets the most first downs, who will get the most sacks - and this is just at Pete Rose’s house.
The president said we must continue to find new sources of oil. The only place he doesn’t want any drilling — Brokeback Mountain.
George Bush says that Bill Clinton has become so close to his dad that Clinton has become like a member of the family. Which is pretty amazing because even Hillary doesn’t consider Bill a member of the family.
It was on this day in 1690 that the first paper money in America was issued. Which, of course, lead to the creation of the Republican Party.
It was also on this day in 1913 that congress was granted the right to levy taxes on income. Which, of course, lead to the creation of the Democratic Party.
Leno
For those of you watching at home I will make this short. I know the Super Bowl pre-game show is about to begin.
Are you all excited about the super bowl this weekend? Aretha Franklin will be singing the national anthem. Lets just hope there is no wardrobe malfunction there. Somebody could get killed.
Have you seen the entertainment lineup for Super Bowl XL? It’s Aretha Franklin, Aaron Neville, Stevie Wonder, and the Rolling Stones. Super Bowl? Sounds more like the Senior Bowl doesn’t it?
You can tell it’s Super Bowl weekend. Illegal immigrants are sneaking into the country carrying chips and dip.
This is the biggest week of the year for sports betting. You can bet on anything - the final score, who will score first, who gets the most first downs, who will get the most sacks - and this is just at Pete Rose’s house.
The president said we must continue to find new sources of oil. The only place he doesn’t want any drilling — Brokeback Mountain.
George Bush says that Bill Clinton has become so close to his dad that Clinton has become like a member of the family. Which is pretty amazing because even Hillary doesn’t consider Bill a member of the family.
It was on this day in 1690 that the first paper money in America was issued. Which, of course, lead to the creation of the Republican Party.
It was also on this day in 1913 that congress was granted the right to levy taxes on income. Which, of course, lead to the creation of the Democratic Party.
