Friday, January 20, 2006
Late Nite Jokes
Leno
Al Jazeera has released an audiotape from Osama bin Laden. State Department officials say it shows he’s aware of world events. It opens up congratulating Brad and Angelina on their baby.
If you missed the broadcast, you can download it from iTunes for 99 cents. They don’t want you to steal because that would be wrong.
On the tape bin Laden. He has three demands. That we pull our troops out of Iraq. That we pull the troops out of Afghanistan. And he wants to see actual stars on dancing with the stars.
Today NASA launch it first ever mission to Pluto. President Bush is very excited about this. I didn’t even know Pluto had oil. Did you know there was oil on Pluto?
New Orleans Mayor Ray Nagin is being criticized for saying that God wants New Orleans to be a chocolate city and that the hurricanes were because God was mad at us. The good news, today he was nominated for the Pat Robertson Lifetime Achievement Award.
Last night in a game against the Bulls, New York Knicks forward Antonio Davis went into the crowd to defend his wife against an unruly fan. How refreshing is that? An NBA player who actually wants to spend time with his wife!
According to the "National Enquirer”, Michael Jackson plans to convert to Islam and will even take an Islamic name. "Malcolm in The Middle X”.
Letterman
There’s a new Osama bin Laden tape. We haven’t heard from him in about a year. Experts say it’s current because in the tape he references the Hillary Swank divorce.
There’s a report that Ted Kennedy might have had a child out of wedlock. Who hasn’t?
This is the sort of thing that could damage the Kennedy reputation with women.
Leno
Al Jazeera has released an audiotape from Osama bin Laden. State Department officials say it shows he’s aware of world events. It opens up congratulating Brad and Angelina on their baby.
If you missed the broadcast, you can download it from iTunes for 99 cents. They don’t want you to steal because that would be wrong.
On the tape bin Laden. He has three demands. That we pull our troops out of Iraq. That we pull the troops out of Afghanistan. And he wants to see actual stars on dancing with the stars.
Today NASA launch it first ever mission to Pluto. President Bush is very excited about this. I didn’t even know Pluto had oil. Did you know there was oil on Pluto?
New Orleans Mayor Ray Nagin is being criticized for saying that God wants New Orleans to be a chocolate city and that the hurricanes were because God was mad at us. The good news, today he was nominated for the Pat Robertson Lifetime Achievement Award.
Last night in a game against the Bulls, New York Knicks forward Antonio Davis went into the crowd to defend his wife against an unruly fan. How refreshing is that? An NBA player who actually wants to spend time with his wife!
According to the "National Enquirer”, Michael Jackson plans to convert to Islam and will even take an Islamic name. "Malcolm in The Middle X”.
Letterman
There’s a new Osama bin Laden tape. We haven’t heard from him in about a year. Experts say it’s current because in the tape he references the Hillary Swank divorce.
There’s a report that Ted Kennedy might have had a child out of wedlock. Who hasn’t?
This is the sort of thing that could damage the Kennedy reputation with women.
